Is it common in your country for your parents to live with you & your partner (and your children)?
Posted by Substratas@reddit | AskBalkans | View on Reddit | 39 comments
I left my parents’ home at 19 years old (when I moved abroad) and I cannot even imagine living with them, ever again. I don’t even stay over at their homes during my visits in Albania.
However, I’ve noticed that some Albanians still live with their parents, even when married & with children, so the family dynamics in my culture can vary significantly.
What are the family dynamics like in other Balkan countries? Is the culture of living with your parents just as varied or do most people tend to follow a specific pattern (like leaving early, leaving when getting married, living with parents even when married, etc)?
Dull_Cucumber_3908@reddit
No! 3 generations under same home is not a thing anymore in Greece. It was a thing until the 80s and I grew up living in the same house with my grandparents.
It's still common however if you don't have your own family to live in your parents' home (this is just out of financial necessity).
Puzzleheaded_Sir903@reddit
Yes.
I lived with my parents AND grandparents.
Flimsy-Resident261@reddit
Living with your family is so common. You go from your parent house to your husband’s house and that’s just sad. 0 independence. Albanian males also expect you to go and be a nurse for their parents to them it’s called respect. I live alone and can’t imagine moving back with my parents or husband’s parents
casual_philosopher02@reddit
there is this albanian family close to us that maried off their son that lives outside Greece to a girl from their village in Albania.... are we for real? in 2026 marrying a random 19 year old from your village as a 30 year old man? Shocked me
Flimsy-Resident261@reddit
I hate this mentality. Raising your daughters to be just husband’s slave, obey him, not educate them. They marry them as young as possible. The good thing is, a lot of village girls are leaving for cities (where mentality is different) breaking taboos and being called whores by the whole village
Mestintrela@reddit
There was a news stories 1-2 years ago of a situation like this in Greece. Arranged marriage of a 18-20 y.o Albanian teenage girl from a village who basicaly her parents SOLD her to her near 30 y.o Albanian husband. He beat her and left her pregnant.
Luckily she managed to call the police for help. I thought it was an one off exception. I didn't know it was widespread.
Substratas@reddit (OP)
This is literally human trafficking under the guise of ”marriage” - I hope her parents rot in prison, just like the man they sold her to. Animals.
Mestintrela@reddit
I dont think they were prosecuted at all for forcing their 18 y.o daughter to marry.
I looked it up to refresh my memory and turns out she wasnt pregnant but they already had a 2.5 y.o baby.
The guy beat her because their kid wasnt a boy but a girl and didnt allow her to even see the doctor, learn greek or go out of the house. What a monster.
Here is the story https://www.flash.gr/aytos-einai-o-28xronos-alvanos-pou-synelifthi-ston-volo-gia-endooikogeneiaki-via-kratouse-egkleistous-gynaika-kai-paidi-894887
Substratas@reddit (OP)
It’s nuts!!! Reminds me a bit of this comment about Crete.
casual_philosopher02@reddit
οοοοο we got our girly repying to this comment too!!! u/Mestintrela she is right, Crete is 50 years behind, ruled by the rich families of the area
Mestintrela@reddit
Yes exactly as you said and I expected it. Well other greeks maybe will not mind but Cretans do. Even if you tell them that Crete has gun problem they may get angry ffs.
Thank god for tourism.
Otherwise Crete would not be just decades behind but centuries.
There are 50 y.o women in the Cretan village I live in now, who tell me pre tourism era stories of how their parents were and it is a horror show.
Mother and father beating their 20 y.o daughter black and blue to force her to marry a rich family guy who was 20+ years older.
Leaving all the money and houses to the son and only 10 olive trees to the daughters. Mind you not the olive fields only the trees. The field goes to the son. Of course it does.
All these are from good society upper middle class families not from Zoniana or Mylopotamos mafia crime families.
casual_philosopher02@reddit
I am a Peloponnesian Greek so we had these solved earlier, women did inherit here, heck my grandmother(70), was told to marry a guy in the village, she left and married who she loved, no beatings, no nothing. Beause these are non issues for us for soooo long we hear these stories of Crete in disbelief, I think that is why they downvoted, they genuinely cannot believe it. I am open to learn and recognise that there are certain areas in Greece left back on the development and that just because I am from a more progressive area it does not mean that everywhere in Greece is the same
Mestintrela@reddit
Yeah I also didnt grow up in Crete so it was a culture shock moving back to the island. But these inheritance and forced arranged stories also happened in the 70s and 80s. At most early 90s. Now in the last ~30years the women inherit the same. (Τώρα με το κτηματολόγιο έχουν όμως βγει πολλα θαμμένα παράπονα στην επιφάνεια ).
Lol My Cretan grandmother.. I still remember when I as a small elementary school age girl naively asked her how she met my grandfather: "My father told me to marry him and I did.". ..
What an answer...to shatter any illusions of romance in the grandkids heart. Lol And when she saw me shocked she told me the sentence to finish me off: "Will the parents want to harm their child? I just did what my parents asked because they know better "
Meanwhile she stopped sleeping in the same bed with grandfather from age 30 and they never loved each other.
Substratas@reddit (OP)
Girl I feel you, Albanians are even worse. That’s why so many Albanians in this sub want to skin me alive, and when I criticize anything about Albania, they’re like:
https://i.redd.it/906s4kf51w4h1.gif
Content-Type-4295@reddit
Croatian here. Average age when people move out here is 32 years old. We have 2nd or 3rd biggest inflation rate in Europe, housing is expensive as hell and unless your parents own a second property you can immediately inherit and move into or unless you have an above average pay, you live with your parents.
Even if you could stretch your wallet, it's financial suicide. Everything goes just to basics - rent/mortgage, utility bills and food. For some people that kind of life is worth the freedom, for others it's not.
Family ties are also stronger. You help your parents out with housework and bills, your parents help you with childcare. I still live with my parents and appreciate being able to spend more time with them as they age. I would like to have my own life at some point, but right now it's financially just not realistic and perhaps won't be anytime soon.
It's extremely common to just add a new floor to the house and have 2 or 3 generations living under the same roof. That's why Croatia has more than 90% share of homeowners. It's not because we're rich, but the opposite. People can't afford to even rent.
Adventurous_Sail_673@reddit
Very common in small towns in Bulgaria. I also live with mine, but it’s a separate house in the same yard. I’m lucky though, we get along really well. It’s also very convenient when it comes to yard work, pet sitting, etc.
Mestintrela@reddit
In the same house , when both are alive, no. But it is common to live next door or in different separate floors of a building.
We are talking about middle class families. If the family is poor then you do what you have to do to make ends meet.
It is common though to take in an invalid/sick parent or if there is a widow/-er
og_toe@reddit
how is it not, i grew up with my grandparents and my cousins in the same house. my friend recently had a baby and she lives with her parents + partner and baby in the same house (the house she grew up in)
Mestintrela@reddit
wow WHAT? You grew up with your grandparents AND cousins in the same house? Where did you grow up? I have never seen or heard of a family setup like this. And unless for strictly economical reasons, it is absolutely not normal for someone to CHOOSE to live with their parents and husband and baby at the sae house.
og_toe@reddit
it’s really not that weird lol. it’s just one extra step away from growing up with grandparents.
this was in central macedonia. my family is simply really close and grandparents were like extra parents. my aunt often needed help with my cousins so it worked well. all together we were 9 people, the house was three floors + big garden.
we helped each other, nobody was alone, everything became easier when there was someone around. no stress about who’s watching the kids, who’s helping grandma when she’s sick etc. us cousins played all the time. i have good memories from the time
we didn’t have economic issues, quite the opposite actually. i had a great childhood and we often went to each others summer houses (our summer houses were separate). my uncle had a boat we’d often use in summer.
we’re all split now since we grew up but i still live with my immediate family.
Mestintrela@reddit
Every floor was separate? It is fairly common to have family in separate apartments and floors in the same building. But separate being the key word.
It is absolutely unheard of , to me, to have in non separate house to live such extended family. Where you grew up in Macedonia was it common such a setup?
Looking back to it, may look good for the kids as childhood memories, but as a woman it is a nightmare. Imagine having no private time with your husband and having also to contribute to the child rearing , household chores of your SIL and having to put up with them and making joint decisions. Nightmare.
og_toe@reddit
no it’s one house with three floors and a staircase connecting all floors. you know like kitchen and living room on one floor, bedrooms on another floor etc. we had one front door.
i wouldn’t say it was common with the cousins but i knew other people who grew up with grandparents. definitely joint decisions weren’t easy!
Mestintrela@reddit
Did you grow up before the 90s perhaps? Like the 70s?
In the islands where I grew up even in villages brothers/ sisters living together with the parents and children would be so much rare it would be noteworthy. But even now in Crete I haven't met such a setup. And when people have enough money they immediately choose to set up separate household.
I am curious if now in your birthplace it is still common. Forget about cousins even grandparents with children and grandchildren.
og_toe@reddit
no i was born in 2002 haha. i think its semi-normal, its not the norm, but grandparents in the household exist. slightly more common to live next door neighbors as u said above, then the % probably rises
Mestintrela@reddit
Well I guess Northern Greece and Island/Southern Greece has very big difference. Here in the south we take in the grandparents when they are either widow or have health problems otherwise they most often choose to live by themselves in their own houses or floors.
Ofc there are many cases of gossipy, meddling MILs who want to move in or have practically moved in, and get involved but then either the wife puts her foot down or they end up in divorce.
I am very certain that also in Athens it is very uncommon to have grandparents in good health living with their kids and grandkids so long as there is no economical consideration.
Pigeonofthesea8@reddit
Some diaspora people do it here in Canada until they can save up a down payment for a house or condo, assuming they can afford the mortgage (and maintenance fees and property taxes). Not stupid given the cost of housing ($500k for a one bedroom condo, $1 million for a house). More and more now as unemployment is through the roof.
og_toe@reddit
yes it’s common. i grew up with my grandparents and my cousins.
personally have no issues with it, i love having a big family and would do the same in the future
PaleozoicQueen@reddit
No thank gosh. Couldn't do it again.
And no kids for me either.
Early-Show2886@reddit
yes its very common, its standard.
PONT05@reddit
Yes it’s common and extremely toxic, never heard good stories from it (judgement and control are some of the reasons)
Substratas@reddit (OP)
Lmaoooo that control issue applies to my parents as well, who ~~were secretly glad~~ didn’t mind I was moving out so early 😂💀 though living in a separate space (and especially different country), does help A LOT.
PONT05@reddit
Reminds me of my uncle where his parents couldn’t stop controlling him in his own home, then him and his wife left to Germany and problem solved lol
SerbianMonies@reddit
Isn't that how they used to do it in Sweden? The young couple moves into the main house and the elderly parents move into a small house somewhere nearby, possibly even on the same plot as the main one?
Substratas@reddit (OP)
I’m 110% Albanian, born & raised in Albania so Swedish culture doesn’t apply to me.
https://i.redd.it/lys2zy6r0v4h1.gif
What I do know is that Swedes are leaving their nests at an older age now (compared to 12 years ago) because the economy is slowly collapsing worldwide and the vast majority of people are getting more & more broke.
SerbianMonies@reddit
Perhaps they will return to the more familial customs of their ancient Germanic forefathers
Substantial-One1934@reddit
This is still common here and I don't think it's wrong if the family have two or three story house.
Substratas@reddit (OP)
Does the pattern vary between cities / regions in Bulgaria?
Substantial-One1934@reddit
Yes definitely
gpetrov@reddit
Wh ok is crazy to work with living parents. You live there they support you cook, buy you stuff give you money. Your job is to play games and drink rakija.