Can’t code anymore after a long burnout
Posted by Rymfaar@reddit | ExperiencedDevs | View on Reddit | 57 comments
TL;DR: I work in this company for 4 years after graduating, I burned myself out 2 times and on the second one, got on a 9-months sick leave. Got back for around 6 months before getting layed off by employer. Used to love coding, now I can’t do anything. Wtf is wrong with me?
Hi everyone,
So here’s a bit of context on my situation. I graduated 4 years ago, loving what I was doing and immediately joined the company in which I did my final year internship.
I worked there as a mobile developer (and sometimes a designer). I worked for a bit more than a year on a client’s app and then another on 2 in-house apps. CEO was shitting on us during the development of the last 2 apps. We lacked new businesses so I gave it all to help them find some. We found 0 in the last 2-3 years. I burned out a first time, was on a sick leave for 2 weeks. Then a second time, a few month later, was on sick leave FOR 9 MONTHS.
I couldn’t do anything. For months, all I did was sleeping. During my pause, AI and agents started emerging.
When I got back I understood they wanted to get rid of me but I fought to keep my job (can’t lay someone off in a snap of a finger in France).
They closed the mobile wing of the company but I told them I was willing to become a web developer. They ultimately found a way to kick me out, apparently the company was loosing too much money and I had to go (bunch of crap).
Looking backward, I feel like I did nothing in the last 4 years. I barely got better and now AI is here to get my junior job. I am unemployed and I can’t code for sh*t. I feel unmotivated and take no pleasure in coding anymore.
WTH is wrong with me? I don’t know what to do. Has anyone gone through something like this? Do you have any advice?
Thanks for reading 🫶🏽
punkpang@reddit
Remember why you started.
duch-92@reddit
Oh, if only any different profession would ever exist...
morswinb@reddit
Its not burnout its depression, please consult a specialist.
Since you live in France you should get "free" healthcare, use it.
As far as your career goes, 9 months of doing nothing is bad. Your attitude towards your employer, is also bad.
While its a social norm in France to protect employment, the markers don't care. If your company doesn't not deliver products they go bankrupt, and then everyone becomes unemployed. Better to let you go and get somone productive.
Career wise my suggestion would be to try to work in a different part of Europe. They might hire you just becouse you can read French, to maintain a French version of their app/site. It's cheaper and easier to hire somone in Eastern Europe, and it's where your jobs had gone long before AI.
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
Yup that hole in my resume keeps getting bigger and bigger and I know it hurts me on employability. Genuinely asking the question, how was my attitude towards my employer bad?
morswinb@reddit
You appear to reason that it's their responsibility to keep you employed.
In reality they own you nothing.
Try to get a situation where you actually deliver something to them, so they can justifying paying you for that.
roodammy44@reddit
We're not living in Mad Max Thunderdome like in the US. Companies do have a responsibility for doing their best to keep their workers employed here.
morswinb@reddit
Sorry but what?
Are you referring to companies in France? Ok, wait one more decade and Eastern Europe will catch up with you.
roodammy44@reddit
Think of it like a transaction at a supermarket till on one side of the extreme, and the relationship between a parent and a child as the other extreme. Of course you can be laid off if the company is in trouble, that is no problem in Europe. But the social and legal relationship is stronger between employers and workers than if, for example, they saw buying the years of your life as you would buy a can of beer.
Americans see the abusive way their businesses treat their employees as the reason the economy is doing so well. But it is more down to military and trade supremacy after WWII and government funded research like microchips and the internet.
Given how the country is being run I would not feel so smug about the rest of the century. Europe used to rule the world before the US, the US is not invulnerable.
szank@reddit
>apparently the company was loosing too much money and I had to go (bunch of crap).
How is this not a bad attitude?
Sure you got laid off. Guess what ? me too. A few times. It sucks. Felt like I got kicked in the balls multiple times. In one case I got laid off because the company got acquired and the've dopped half of the people while the other half got promoted, and vested their share options. I moved on. There's nothing I could do about it.
As for your employer, no that was not bunch of crap. That was the reality.
Ayfais@reddit
France has actual worker's right and this is an obvious loophole the company used to get rid of him. Don't take your situation and country's laws for the norm. Also, you really think someone going through burnout / depression should be caring about their company ? Your mental health goes before everything.
szank@reddit
Ive worked in France tho.
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
Thanks friendo 🫶🏽
EntropyRX@reddit
lol, 9 months is a nothing from a career standpoint. Life is about ups and downs, it will happen to everyone multiple times. All this “agentic ai” isn’t rocket science, it’s very basic stuff since it’s just wrappers and design patterns that one can learn quite fast and frankly it may not even matter as most cloud vendors are already offering their agentic solutions “out of the box” where even business folks could be able to set up. So stop dragging OP down, and stop thinking you are in control of company decisions. You can be laid off and blindsided regardless of what you do if you work for someone else. OP did the right thing to take time for himself since he’s unwell.
morswinb@reddit
9 months in 4 years after graduation.
Sure once you have 10+ years a year or two of break does not matter. But not if the break or low performance period is half of your career.
It's much harder to stay focused on this job when you are approaching 40+ years of age and have family to take care off.
Assuming op is in her 20s, prime time to stay focused and concentrated on getting job experience. Bad age to feel unwell.
roodammy44@reddit
5 years in I got a layoff and used the money to travel for a year. No-one when I applied to jobs after gave a single fuck about the year off.
The market is pretty bad now, so it might be worse for OP than for me. But it's not general advice that a year off makes you unhireable.
morswinb@reddit
They are not 4x cheaper lol.
Employers need to pay extra taxes on top of salaries, hire more layers to deal with extra paperwork, there are more public holidays, salaries are more difficult to pay in stocks etc.
The market is even worse if employer is afraid to hire you because labour laws forbid to fire you afterwards.
roodammy44@reddit
Ok, 3x cheaper. Let’s not misrepresent the figures here. The US has taxes and bureaucracy too.
EntropyRX@reddit
What are you talking about. Most mistakes are made in the 20s, I’ve seen so many people taking sabbatical in their 20s without any issues, they are all in a good career in their late 30s. You’re projecting insecurities, bouncing back from whatever setbacks in your 20s is so much easier than later in life.
morswinb@reddit
Read the OP post
"did nothing, just sleep"
thats not a sabbatical, thats not a failed project with a setback
You also dont see people who failed to recover from the mistakes.
EntropyRX@reddit
Man, it’s ok. He was burnout. Shit happens. I’ve seen thousands of times, people bounce back. What are you, the stereotype of Asian parents?
sebf@reddit
French developer that burned out multiple times in 15 years here .
First, France workplaces are immensely toxic. Between 2005 and 2019, I worked for french companies. I worked with abroad companies since 2021 and I would not want to go back to a french one. I think it can help recovering and prevent further burnout if you can find a remote position.
Second thing is that it's actually a good thing that they fired you because that kind of situation is very stressful and traumatic. Going back to work without proper support and long term part time work after the sick leave is almost the best way to another burnout.
I hope you had the opportunity to take care of your mental health during the sick leave. If not, please seek help from a professional (a psychiatrist and eventually a psychotherapist). Try to exercise if you are into that kind of things.
Good luck and feel free to DM me if you have any questions.
East_Lettuce7143@reddit
I kind of switched from coding to do some devops/cloud/administrator stuff. Worked for me but ymmv.
Swayt@reddit
Do you enjoy the state of mind writing code itself? I would add with the AI tooling, the active coding part of the job is being valued lower by management. I spend most of my time reading code, and researching design documents than coding nowadays. So I'd suggest thinking if there are other anchors of the work to fuel you.
Do you find pleasure in delivery? Can you find emotional enjoyment from impact for the org? Breaking down tasks for juniors? Protecting people or mentoring those below?
Burnout comes from mismatch between what you value and what the environment values. So I've had success doing project breakdowns in one of my past roles.
psyyduck@reddit
Try lifting weights. It does wonders for mental health. After you put 225lb on your back and squat it for multiple sets of 5, the rest of your day will seem easy.
BaronSharktooth@reddit
What about moving into a different field?
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
It has popped into my head several times but since I kinda invested all my life into working for tech, I quickly dismissed it. Maybe I should not
ChickenSaladHoagie@reddit
If you are only 4 years out of graduating, you can certainly pivot! And if you are confident you like tech, perhaps try other roles. Have you considered going into the PM side? A lot of the better PMs used to be developers which helps them understand the process better
roger_ducky@reddit
If you’re sure you had burnout, it means you overexerted yourself to such a point that your body instilled fear in you when you went to work.
Only way to adjust is to:
EntropyRX@reddit
Nothing is wrong with you. Change company, this is not the right environment for you. Your work environment sounds extremely toxic, with unclear responsibilities, CEO creeping into your daily work (as a junior lol), undefined expectations, and so on. Just forget about this company, find a new job. You won’t be able to stay in this environment, and you shouldn’t.
Fly_Extreme@reddit
i went through something similar a few years back and honestly it takes way longer to recover than you think. your brain is basically trying to protect itself from the stress that caused the burnout in the first place, so dont force the coding right now. maybe try doing something completely analog for a while until the mental fog lifts a bit. you arent broken, you just need a real reset
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
Thanks for the feedback mate 🫶🏽
srdjanrosic@reddit
You need to find some interest that will let you solve some problems with a bit of code, and use agents and AI to help you with the code (don't trust them to not make a mess - they're not there yet, but do let the agents and AI help you).
This will let you practice the relevant coding muscles on something interesting and useful to you.
If not, maybe there's a different line of work you'd like to try?
devonthego@reddit
If I'm being honest, sorry if I'm being straightforward, but I think you have 2 issues:
1. You're not into software development, there are tons of interesting stuff to do in the industry, but clearly you're only focusing on the bad side of it.
I suggest that you should switch to some other roles with less coding, such as business analyst, project managers, engineering manager, etc. That way you'll stay in the industry and your technical skills will help driving your job better than non-tech managers. Don't be scared of AI, they're merely tools to help you boost your productivity. Vibe coding is only useful if one understands the foundation of the codebase. Shipping AI code without knowing what it does is like digging a hole and they will fall into it once the hole is big enough.
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
Thanks for the advice! I’m actually intrigued how many of you concluded I’m not into software development. What makes you say that?
Suepahfly@reddit
Do you actually enjoy writing software? Have you started personal side projects in your free time because it’s is something you wanted to do? Do you follow dev blogs or dev mailinglists?
Basically do you spend energy on software engineering because you are intrinsically motivated to do so, like and not just to stay relevant?
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
I do like writing code. I start side projects here and there but never finish them. Lowkey, outside of my 9-to-6, I kinda cut everything work-related. I watch and read minimal dev content —most likely only on subjects I’m interested in
Suepahfly@reddit
If you do like writing code it might just be the company and working environment that burned you out
devonthego@reddit
I did all that. I enjoy building products and software as a service. There were nights our team stayed up to prepare a production launch, but the rewards are very well worth it, it's the spirit, sometimes it's not the work itself.
Of course there are ups and downs a long the way, but isn't it life all about? There are good projects, and lots of bad projects, as an employee, how much choice do you have? I guess one do what one can, once you're solid, most of the time you can choose what you want to do.
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
Okay, I guess I’m not this much into software development then 🫠
To my understanding, kinda feels like it’s expected for your entire personality to fit the job description which, as for as I know, is not the case in other jobs (except maybe healthcare and so). I do find it unusual
devonthego@reddit
Just based on some impressions from your post. You know yourself best, it's just my assumption, don't take my word for it. That's why I said "I think". From my 20+ years in software industry, people usually come to this point just like yourself in the first few years, then they switch gear, not all, but most. If your current job doesn't motivate you to get through your days, then something is wrong deep down. Or you keep pushing yourself, see where you go. We all always have a choice.
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
Thanks for answering! 😁
chikamakaleyley@reddit
so,
Right now as i'm ramping up to jump into a new team, i just had it go through all the team docs/guides and had it create a bunch of local, static html pages with diagrams & general overview/breakdown of architecture to help ramp me up for the projects i'll be working on. It's tech I haven't looked at since the pandemic; languages I haven't written in about 5 yrs. I'm using it to refresh my memory so i can start contributing by next week
chikamakaleyley@reddit
e.g. I'm moving fr primarily FE to more FS/BE
their primary product uses Nestjs. I know JS, I know what nestjs is used for, but i've never worked in nestjs
I could learn Nestjs from scratch - or I can just learn some high level concepts and then figure out how its used by the new team. It's so much easier to have AI help me with the latter
blacklig@reddit
You should talk to a lawyer if you think you were unfairly dismissed. Other than that there are a lot of personal/private issues here that make giving advice hard but I will say that slopbots don't seem to be the issue here. If you don't enjoy the industry, find something you do enjoy, people change careers all the time.
Bandinilec@reddit
And i want to add, its certainly will be a painful process, but winning this case will help you heal from the burnout and diminish its effect by giving to you a better feeling of control on your life, which a toxic work place remove
blacklig@reddit
I disagree with this mindset completely. You should move on regardless and not tie that to a legal process. It's possible that under the law they were let go legitimately, or that they were really let go illegitimately but the company fabricated sufficient cause to cover themselves legally, or that they just get unlucky and lose the case even if they have a good one. In any of these scenarios in addition to winning, you should independently move on with your life
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
Love the word slopbots lmao. Personal issues? 🤔
blacklig@reddit
Yes, as in issues personal to you rather than external factors. I do not mean it in a derogatory way if that's what you're asking, I am just drawing a distinction. E.g. whatever caused you to have extended sick leave, your personal mindset around your work, etc. Distinct from your previous work environment or the current job market or the state of the industry.
tiajuanat@reddit
If you haven't checked out Wanderstop, it's a cozy game exactly about this deep sort of burnout.
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
I’ll have a look at it 👀
2doors_2trunks@reddit
TBH its not a burnout, you just not into engineering. Just being honest, haven’t read the whole post, but you clearly are not into this field, I mean you havent even worked like 2-3 full years those are just honeymoon years and you took leave from honeymoon. Its just not for you, find some other field
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
I left because I was sick and couldn’t work.
2doors_2trunks@reddit
Its not about why did you leave, its about how ling you’ve been in this atm where you think youre burtnout
Fun-Consequence-3112@reddit
I've never really liked coding on the job it mostly makes me depressed. After years in tech it's kind of the same for my own projects but they at least give me some satisfaction through learning or something else. I've worked in a "big city" company that was all about speed and what you describe getting clients etc. It felt exhausting to me and I had to clock 8h of work on a kanban board everyday. Now I've changed jobs and work for a SaaS company with a stable customer base, so it's not a big stress about new customers from the developer side. Instead it's about quality and not quantity, it's also slower and not as stressed.
Substantial-Tale-483@reddit
I’ve had a burnout for a few months that i am still partially in and still recovering from. However i am not sure if it’s a burn out or depression, but as you i couldn’t code for some time too and felt super anxious even opening the IDE, but now i am a better. What makes me feel better so far is: 1) antidepressants (i should also add therapy, but meh) 2) resting as much as i can when i can 3) doing whatever in the codebase for my pleasure sometimes - i dont care if i do it right, if it’s a priority at all, if it’s the best solution, if i do it fast enough and all that stuff. I just do things if i found them the process even a bit interesting - it allowed me to feel joy of coding again after a long time. But maybe this is antidepressants too
Rymfaar@reddit (OP)
How long is your recovery so far? I feel mine is insanely long or I’m doing sth wrong idk 🥲
roodammy44@reddit
There's a reasonably high likelihood that you just don't want to code for this company. I would definitely try with a couple of other places before giving up on your career.