People who work in bars / pubs: What's the most incriminating thing you've heard patrons talk about?
Posted by CorrectTemperature65@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 296 comments
Just walking around some pubs and you can hear some very intriguing things. If you work in a pub or club, what's the most incriminating thing you've ever heard patrons talk about?
kemide22@reddit
Didn’t work in a pub but back in the 90s in a slightly dodgy part of north London there was a whole recruitment team seeking out candidates to be drug mules. I can’t remember what the offer was but I remember being asked about taking a spontaneous round trip to South Africa. The crazy part was how blazon they were about the whole thing.
Objective_Ad_339@reddit
Worked in a pub in Finsbury Park in 1999. Was surprised to find out that rival football firms (aka hooligans/ gangs) have one person from each meet up for a drink, stand right at the bar and arrange whereas when to fight. The venue was Blackpool was their faces wouldn't be known
StraightAd3047@reddit
I don't work in a pub but I visit my fair share.
Once heard someone order 2 pints of Neck Oil, to which the barman said "that will be £17 please"
By far the most heinous crime I've ever witnessed first hand.
Pen_dragons_pizza@reddit
That is awful, I have also fucking hated the name ‘neck oil’ just makes me think of some hipster idiot
Hot-Understanding135@reddit
Throat Oil would make more sense
banananey@reddit
I like the beer itself but the name does put me off.
DaddyK3tchup@reddit
It was ok when it first came out but as soon as that massive corporation took it over and started ‘brewing’ it, they turned it into industrial piss.
dmmeyourfloof@reddit
Ironically, I'd happily drink a small brewery's lager called Industrial Piss
DaddyK3tchup@reddit
😂 If it was a cloudy af IPA at about 6% and brewed in small batches by an independent I’d be all over it
dmmeyourfloof@reddit
I think the "cloudiness" of something called Industrial Piss would put me off it, lest it be more than just a name 😂
DaddyK3tchup@reddit
😂😂
Sad-Grade6972@reddit
Talking of independent breweries that produce a lager: I'm a regular at the Pilgrim brewery in Reigate, Surrey, and they make a fantastic Kolsch style lager, called Somers. Highly recommended, if you're ever in the area!
Morganx27@reddit
I like it but I feel like it is a bit 50/50 as to whether you get a good one or not. Some taste alright, others taste a bit cleaning product-y. Not as consistent as other beers, but the most consistently available and often the only IPA type thing pubs will have.
Ok_Caregiver7679@reddit
Neck oil, shouldn't it be 20w/50? 😁
DaddyK3tchup@reddit
You’re going to the wrong pubs!
lorl3ss@reddit
I really liked it when it first came out, so much so that it was my standard order when going to the pub. Then one day it tasted so bad I actually went back to the bar and asked for something else, never thought I'd have to return a pint lol.
saint1997@reddit
It's tasted like soap since around 2022
Typical-Offer8860@reddit
Very nickable glasses TBF. Can't have a cupboard full of Guinness glasses (I am told!)
jizzyjugsjohnson@reddit
“Two Pints of Wankers’ Nectar please bartender”
sm3g-h3ad@reddit
I thought £7.50 at my local was bad!
Altruistic_Grocery81@reddit
I tried Hawkstone on draft for the first time the other day and it was £7.40. In the Essex sticks. World’s gone mad.
sm3g-h3ad@reddit
I'd quite like to try that on draft actually. At that price I think it would be buy once just to try! I have had a keg of hawkstone through a Perfect Draft but it's never the same as a proper pint from a pub!
tom_watts@reddit
Lots of London pubs have it and it’s a delight to drink
StraightAd3047@reddit
To be fair this was in Highbury on a match day but still...
omnishambles1995@reddit
"Just to let you know, mate, this tastes like sour sweat in a glass and costs 8 quid."
"Ideal, cheers."
SnooCauliflowers6739@reddit
By law, prices have to be advertised at the bar. Though few pubs actually do.
KofC83@reddit
Dick Turpin lives!
SpacestationView@reddit
At least he had the decency to wear a mask!
Herne_KZN@reddit
Fucking hell. Where’s the National Crime Agency, I ask you?
LessCantaloupe303@reddit
This needs a reddit post of it's own!
mirrorgrain@reddit
Minimum-Detective915@reddit
Prostitution it’s always prostitution. Some guy told me he spent the weekend with a lady and to my male coworkers he could get them some “company”. He was married with children 🙄
SalParadise100@reddit
About 20 years ago I was sitting waiting for the bus outside a pub in Aberdeen when I heard a guy loudly being kicked out by a bunch of blokes. He turned around and shouted something along the lines of: “I’m going to burn this place to the f***ing ground!”
After my shift I picked up my car and drove home. Rounded the corner by the bus stop to blue flashing lights and a column of flames as the pub went up. A man of his word, if nothing else.
Allydarvel@reddit
Happened to my mate. He was given a kicking in a pub. Said he'd burn the place down. Cops caught him about 20 metres away with a can of petrol.
parasoralophus@reddit
And that's rare these days.
DebaucheV5@reddit
Get this man into Parliament ASAP
(not to burn it down; just because he keeps his promises)
No-Locksmith-882@reddit
No because he will!
chasing_jenny@reddit
Was that the Copper Beach by any chance?
SalParadise100@reddit
That’s it. 2008!
catsaregreat78@reddit
Garthdee?
chasing_jenny@reddit
Yep, that’s the one. Was trying to remember pubs that burnt down in the Deen, first thought was Dizzys, but that was ‘only’ about 6/7 years ago I think
catsaregreat78@reddit
I didn’t know Dizzys had burnt down!
Parklife_slackliner@reddit
Can you put the Liverpool game on at 3pm? Why not, they do it at XXXXXX Bar?
Impressive_Dawg2003@reddit
Oh, boy, here comes the horrific stories of jusy full on implicit murders alongside the even more horrific stories about expensive pints
RBisoldandtired@reddit
15 years ago we had a patron come back in asking if anyone had handed in a kinder egg plastic shell… when asked what was in it they panicked and left.
We found it. It was full of weed.
imtheorangeycenter@reddit
I've gone to the bar and asked if anyone handed in a half Oz of weed that must have fallen out of my pocket. To be fair they did have a look in the bin for me in case it had been just gathered up.
RBisoldandtired@reddit
Guess it depends on the bar hahaha I’ve definitely been in some places that would have happily helped and some who would insta bar you for the audacity lol
imtheorangeycenter@reddit
Was in paddington station, not a, uh, community pub!
No-Extension-2378@reddit
We had someone leave a camera bag type thing in the disabled toilets, looked in it and it was a few little weed baggies. We obviously distributed it evenly amongst the staff who smoked.
The guy came in for it the next day and threatened to ring the police because we'd "stolen" his bag.
sprucethemoose1312@reddit
I lost my wallet in a bar once and when they asked what was in it I said a bit of weed. They laughed and handed me my wallet.
Large_Island3199@reddit
That genuinely remained in your conscious memories for 17 years. I can see why mate putting it in a kinder egg is fucking odd.
jizzyjugsjohnson@reddit
Old tactic for smuggling gear into places where you get searched. Kinder egg plastic egg up the ringpiece until you get inside.
Neddykins82@reddit
That's how I get sweets into the cinema. Nothing goes better with a Marvel film than a giant Toblerone
jizzyjugsjohnson@reddit
Wagon Wheel man myself
Neddykins82@reddit
How do you get it up there?
jizzyjugsjohnson@reddit
They’re not as big as they used to be
Suspicious_Flower_0@reddit
I believe it's fairly common to put smack/crack in them because their egg shape makes them easier to stash in nature's pocket.
Large_Island3199@reddit
I’d take the caution for weed possession personally over molesting my own anus
Neddykins82@reddit
That's why you're never invited to parties
RBisoldandtired@reddit
Had plenty fucking mental things happen over the years But it was the only time someone very obviously asked for help to find their stash lol
Impossible_Delay1023@reddit
In my village pub which is in a very posh village there’s 5 or 6 blokes who bump coke off of their keys in the back dining room when it’s quite. All the staff know they do this and do nothing about it because they spend so much money drinking throughout the week
Distinct-Tour-5654@reddit
Sounds like the village I live in tbh.
Impossible_Delay1023@reddit
Tbh I don’t know a single pub which doesn’t have people doing coke in it, if you know what your looking for it’s so easy to spot
Buckenboo@reddit
Yep this is now part of a traditional village pub. If you haven't seen it in your own pub, you don't know what you're looking at!
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
Drink driving home after having had 5 pints.
So I call the police on them and they get lifted.
dodeccadickhead@reddit
It's a minefield though, they ran a campaign on this in my local area, the message was "don't get behind the wheel of your car when you've been drinking, consider taking a bus instead" It's much harder driving a bus passed, plus the screaming passengers were a real distraction.
Buckenboo@reddit
This whole comment was gold please accept my free award
Large_Island3199@reddit
What they carried him the whole way
mathcampbell@reddit
In case you’re unfamiliar, lifted is Scots meaning “taken away” or in this context, nicked.
YoghurtFlan@reddit
In case you're unfamiliar, Lifted is a song by the Lighthouse Family
generic-username9067@reddit
Lifted
From the shadows
Liiiiiifteeeeeeeeed
catsaregreat78@reddit
Is this just something we say?
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
Tbf I wouldn't fuck about with my local police officers and I would have confidence that they could indeed carry me home from the pub quite easily. Built like brick shithouses up here and they don't fuck around.
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
Never five-and-drive!
DEADB33F@reddit
I remember the time when that was an actual saying.
"I can't stay any longer ...five & drive and all that"
"Or eight if it's late" ...was the usual retort, suggesting to stay for a few more and drive home after midnight when there'll be fewer other cars on the road.
franki-pinks@reddit
When I worked at a bar in Nottingham in the early 00s there was a real bad gun problem in the city. One night two guys come in and stand at the bar talking about someone being shot and naming the victim, the bloke who ordered it and the bloke who did it, both well known names. A year or so later he was sent down for a couple of murders and for a few shootings and that was one of them.
People always seem to talk really loudly at the bar for some reason. I’ve heard people planning affairs with each other while their partners are sat a few feet away, friends talking shit about each other, even people talking about robbing us while we are stood in front of them pouring their drinks like we won’t hear.
MaverickMcdoodle@reddit
'People always seem to talk really loudly at the bar for some reason'.
Alcohol, that is the reason.
Suspicious_Flower_0@reddit
And cocaine. Alcohol and cocaine.
Buckenboo@reddit
And old age, still got the beers and cocain but also the age
Minimeminime@reddit
Yeah, kids don’t have that area developed in their brain that controls volume, when you drink alcohol you basically shrink yourself back to a certain age’s cognitive functioning
weary_dave@reddit
I had something adjacent to this also in Nottingham; I had two guys at the bar talking about how they brought guns into the country including how they got around custom checks.
I got “sacked” because my manager heard them and I didn’t take any action. I sacked but I was on a zero hour contract and wasn’t scheduled for more shifts after that; I’d been there about 9 months.
mr-ajax-helios@reddit
What was your manager expecting you to do? Vault the bar and perform a citizens arrest and get yourself shot? Most you could do is quietly retreat to a staff only area and phone the NCA tip line, as it's not an active crime you'd be unlikely to get a response from 999 on something that amounts to hearsay.
GourangaPlusPlus@reddit
It was the fact OP said I've got a piece right here for you and grabbed their crotch so everyone could see
mr-ajax-helios@reddit
Still reckon the manager should have been intervening rather than just some random bar staff at that point but that doesn't really change much now
weary_dave@reddit
The main thing is that this was a pub full of people chatting shit.
I explained that if I were to take everything that customers said as the truth then we’d have very few customers left.
It was The Park down by the Arboretum back in 2002/2003, I think it’s been bulldozed now.
I was a uni student who didn’t want any hassle; and I was more concerned that my manager would have laughed me out of the building for reporting it.
It did me a favour and I ended up working in retail for the duration of my degree.
smedsterwho@reddit
Hey! That was my local 2002-2004!
weary_dave@reddit
Do you know what happened to it?
I’m guessing you went to NTU?
smedsterwho@reddit
No I left Nottingham after NTU, the time I was there they were digging up the road to put the trams in :) not been back since - gawd 20 years.
Still, loved it there, about a three minute walk
Competitive-Yard-442@reddit
You mean you don't believe Big John was out in the countryside having a nice walk when he saw a bear, and had to knock it out to save a treehouse full of orphans!?!
As you say, you can't act on shit said in the pub with no actual evidence, even if it is plausible.
moanybastard@reddit
Curious as to what action your manager was hoping for.
SterlingArcher68@reddit
DenM0ther@reddit
What did your manager expect you to have done??? 😳🤬. Like, I value my life
WillowCreekWanderer@reddit
Right? Most places (very understandably) don't even want staff confronting shoplifters, let alone self-proclaimed illegal gun importers
Mrslinkydragon@reddit
theres a thing that if you want a private conversation, have it in a busy place. everyone is only focusing on their conversation and not on the noise around them.
Basically you need to be actively tuning in to listen, its not perfect but does work
Large_Island3199@reddit
I didn’t know you could listen to people talking in public, cheers mate I’m gonna try it out.
Mrslinkydragon@reddit
its more a case of your brain filters the noise out and only hears what is being said to you, kinda like how you forget about the frames of your glasses or your nose or that you are breathing. to the brain its all noise
Grunn84@reddit
Difficulty doing this is one of the many symptoms of ADHD.
FluidLikeSunshine@reddit
Especially true if you have the hilariously badly named inattentive ADHD.
Our brains don't know what inputs to prioritise and what to filter out so they give Priority One attention to Everything The "Ooh! A squirrel!" thing is a really annoying oversimplification of that symptom.
The "inattentive" manifests outwardly because it's really really hard to pay attention to, say the person in front of you who you are trying to have a conversation with, if there are other things going on around you. We also find it really hard to start and stay on task. The no working memory thing is a bit of a pisser, too. 😆 (Working memory being how you remember verbal instructions, or phone numbers, or keep track of parts of a task that you are doing)
Grunn84@reddit
I'm much the same, written instructions please (also that way I can look at them again when I forget)
Mrslinkydragon@reddit
Makes sense
MeecheyRandle@reddit
99 percent of people understand this lol, it isn't a special fact or anything
DEADB33F@reddit
Yeah, but there's always that one weirdly dressed introvert sat in the corner pretending to read a book while they're really just listening in to everyone else's conversations.
watchingonsidelines@reddit
Yes exactly, plus folk in bars have additionally reduced perception to around them
Mrslinkydragon@reddit
that is true, also apparently quiet restaurants
this-guy-@reddit
When I'm waiting for the bar staff to serve me, if I'm up there getting a round in. Which means I'm standing on my own. You better believe I'm listening to every conversation whether I intend to or not.
Mrslinkydragon@reddit
because you are actively listening, when you are back at the table, it just blends into a soup of noise
OldEcho@reddit
So...if I asked if you've heard any rumors lately you have?
monkey_kaleidoscope@reddit
I used to listen to rumours from bartenders, until I took an arrow to the knee
MonsieurGump@reddit
Bartenders and taxi drivers are often invisible. They become part of the background and people speak as if they aren’t there.
Large_Island3199@reddit
What like actually invisible? How do they do that
Grunn84@reddit
Controlling the pigment in their skin mate.
Large_Island3199@reddit
How does one do it? Is it exclusive to cabbies and bartenders? Or can a laymen develop this ability
Therealscavvierising@reddit
Woman over 60 develop this skill to
Revolutionary-Rub231@reddit
When I worked in a bar last year, a guy came in one evening with a roll of tarmac under his arm. He ordered 2 pints. "One for me & one for the road" he said.
jizzyjugsjohnson@reddit
Horse walks into a bar. Batman says “why the long face?” Horse says “8.99 for a fucking pint of Stella?? “
DrNuclearSlav@reddit
Gorilla walks into a bar and orders a pint, the barman hands it over and says "That'll be £12. I don't think I've ever seen a gorilla in here before!"
And the gorilla says "at these prices I can see why".
Brickie78@reddit
Absolutely livid
Buckenboo@reddit
Gerald always is
pffftnoway@reddit
Why does Batman sell pints of Stella for £8.99?
Because he’s into Robin.
jizzyjugsjohnson@reddit
Sorry. I edited
kettlejuices@reddit
how do you get a roll of tarmac?
ProfCupcake@reddit
Spool and a trowel.
Low-Selection-2022@reddit
That same night, a bloke walked in with a roll of red tarmac under his arm. My mate said "watch out pal, he's a cycle path'.
ultrafunkmiester@reddit
Did you hear about the three different coloured tarmacs in a bar? The black one says to the green one, be careful around that red guy, hes a cyclopath.
Proud_Cookie@reddit
That's class! 😃
Fit_Librarian_3585@reddit
Loudmouthed regular regaled us with the tale when he had been working as a builder or something a few years prior. After a job they threw some bits of rubble or scrap metal over a wall because they just wanted to finish for the day. Police came asking at some point if anyone had seen anything, because a homeless man had been sleeping on the other side of the wall, been struck by "something" and killed.
fiendofecology@reddit
Surely he was lying dead right next to the object that had killed him. I would think the police could put two and two together!
Morganx27@reddit
You clearly missed TV detective training school.
You say "a homeless man was hit by something and killed", the perp says "no, no, I didn't see anyone throw scrap metal over the wall". You say "How did you know it was scrap metal, eh?" then you make the arrest.
Buckenboo@reddit
I was going to say 'ahh I remember that episode of Midsomer Murders' but then realised scrap metal throwing happens in those beautiful villages...
Buckenboo@reddit
Or homeless people now I think about it
Beer-Milkshakes@reddit
Considering the news recently. They probably handcuffed the dead homeless man whilst waiting for the undertaker
Secret-Chicken8648@reddit
Considering they can’t tell when a man’s been fatally stabbed I’d say they can’t
TheTubbyOnes@reddit
Didn't take long to see this.
GourangaPlusPlus@reddit
Could you prove it beyond reasonable doubt to a jury of your peers though?
Large_Island3199@reddit
I’m guessing they probably did do that mate.
fiendofecology@reddit
Not according to OP’s story
Ok-Veterinarian-5381@reddit
Someone's never had to deal with the filth.
JensonInterceptor@reddit
They had to handcuff him first
jordancr1@reddit
Probably a bs story. Builders never throw away scrap metal.
Fit_Librarian_3585@reddit
That's what I figured tbh, he was a good tipper and always coked up, so I think he just wanted people to be impressed by him or something idk
Double-Weight7789@reddit
Did you tell the police what you knew?
Fit_Librarian_3585@reddit
I didn't believe him tbh
G_DIZZLE_FO_SHIZZLE@reddit
Large_Island3199@reddit
Prolly wouldn’t post this mate got a feeling it’s incriminating yourself to share the fact you know someone’s admitted to killing someone and haven’t reported it. Just some friendly advice.
NeilPatrickWarburton@reddit
Prolly wouldn’t post this mate got a feeling it’s incriminating yourself to share the fact you know someone who knows someone’s who’s admitted to killing someone and haven’t reported it. Just some friendly advice.
PepEye@reddit
Prolly wouldn’t post this mate got a feeling it’s incriminating yourself to share the fact you know of someone who’s knows someone who knows someone who’s admitting to killing someone and haven’t reported it. Just some friendly advice.
SuperPossible120@reddit
Word of advice fella, prolly wouldn’t post this mate got a feeling it’s incriminating yourself to share the fact you know of someone who knows someone who’s knows someone who knows someone who’s admitting to killing someone and haven’t reported it. Just some friendly advice.
Large_Island3199@reddit
Cheers mate, just some friendly advice I’ve got a feeling you now know of someone who’s aware of someone who knows someone who’s killed someone
jordancr1@reddit
But again, he probably felt the patron may have been bs'ing him.
Large_Island3199@reddit
Common pub trope init.
dildo_of_justice4135@reddit
Pipe down, Poirot.
Large_Island3199@reddit
You’ve got dildo in your username mate.
Ill-Confusion-1844@reddit
It rarely arrives lubed, apparently.
Wookies_goin_walkies@reddit
Do you thing it comes lubed? The consequences one seems dry
Large_Island3199@reddit
Right well that’s actually murder.
Still-Butterscotch33@reddit
Which also tells you everything you need to know about if its true or not.
notimefornothing55@reddit
Manslaughter
Large_Island3199@reddit
Don’t need to get graphic mate. He’s already said he died.
DenM0ther@reddit
Manslaughter as his death was unintentional as they didn’t know he was there. At least you’d hope they didn’t!!!
InformationOk3503@reddit
Fucking, gone all in there
fannyfox@reddit
Heard a guy saying him and his 17 mates on a stag do came across some guy with his head stuck in a bottle bank. All 18 of them then took their chance on his arse.
specialdelivery88@reddit
I’m sorry but that sounds made up
MeecheyRandle@reddit
it sounds like if Jay from the inbetweeners was absolute evil and telling a lie
specialdelivery88@reddit
Not even jay would make up something like that
philljarvis166@reddit
Isn't it pretty much litterally a quote from Jay on the Inbetweeners?
uniquenewyork_@reddit
r/wooosh
MeecheyRandle@reddit
thats why I said absolute evil
Nervous-Economy8119@reddit
Ya reckon so?
specialdelivery88@reddit
Yeah. Not that many.
uniquenewyork_@reddit
So what you're saying is the first eighteen people to have discovered him in this state just happened to be opportunistic homosexual rapists?
ras2703@reddit
Any port in a storm as they say.
hamshanker69@reddit
It's not gay in an 19 way.
Old-Law-7395@reddit
Unless they said "no homo" beforehand
fannyfox@reddit
Looks like it. Where was your dad last night u/uniquenewyork_?
uniquenewyork_@reddit
Badminton.
fannyfox@reddit
Still quite gay!
PeterJamesUK@reddit
I'll take "things that never happened" for $100 please Alex.
bowak@reddit
Who's Alex and why is he offering dollars? Sounds sus
Evening-Web-3038@reddit
And what are you going to do with your 100 dollar prize, PeterJamesUK?
Large_Island3199@reddit
It did happen and I can guarantee you half of Britain’s male population would testify to that
Otherwise-Drummer543@reddit
It's from the inbetweeners
TheGreatBatsby@reddit
Why was he sticking his head in the bottle bank?
fannyfox@reddit
Looking for bottles you mug
Popular_Sir863@reddit
If you're going to lie and make something up, at least make it believable. Didn't you learn that when you were a kid?
concretepigeon@reddit
Nobody has that many friends.
uniquenewyork_@reddit
it’s a reference to the inbetweeners mate, might wanna loosen your tie a little bit
Otherwise-Drummer543@reddit
It's from the inbetweeners
Large_Island3199@reddit
What learn about a man getting anally raped by 18 men as a kid, nah I did not. Show some respect mate.
Large_Island3199@reddit
You’ve gotta be careful these days mate putting your head in bottle banks, that’s why I always recommend using your arms.
Fantastic-Way6025@reddit
It wasn’t something I heard, but something that happened. I was working in a pub. Took an order and when she handed me the cash note it opened up in my hand and there was a baggy of cocaine (assuming) just sitting on the middle of it haha!
PatternActual7535@reddit
Nothing that I would consider that exciting, Just petty crime
Usually drugs and the lot
Either talking about drugs, doing drugs or selling drugs.
Usually sold/done in the toilets, but I've seen them dealt at the bar by patrons or by staff directly
In some pubs , just openly doing them on the tables or counters
Used to be guys selling questionable pirated movies too, but again nothing that's major
One of the funnier encounters was a bloke asking if I "sold sniff". Was 2 am in a McDonalds. He was very polite and left me alone when I just told him I don't sell/do drugs
starkeystarkey@reddit
Customer loudly announced that he was shagging his daughter
Well not exactly, but when I said sorry mate your friends had too much (she was pinging off her nut) he got extremely offended that I would imply such a thing
Apparently he thought I was accusing him off banging his daughter
And continued to go on about it very loudly for about 10 minutes, whole pub listened
They left and he said he was gonna get me done for sexism
I did not say a word during this whole exchange
After they left some punters at the bar looked over and said 'hmm I think he might be banging his daughter then'
Fucking weirdos lol
Little-Dark-5355@reddit
Some bloke told me that he worked for a Cuban militia, ran a prison for Fidel Castro himself, shot someone in the head five times (but they survived) and forced themselves upon their secretary!
Safe to say I got out of there pretty quick.
CryptoRoast_@reddit
SushiRollFried@reddit
I was doing a shit during the world cup match, overheard two people come in and thought no one was in toilets and proceed to deal coke and running through their plan on how they are operating across 15 bars or so
Large_Island3199@reddit
You did a poo in a pub I’m pretty sure that’s also a criminal activity
SushiRollFried@reddit
This was in the nicer part of town, where their toilets were better than most 4 star hotels
Amazing_Goal_8003@reddit
A posh poo, we’ve all been there
lemonsqueezy55@reddit
Wasn't on shift this day, but colleague was. A local, who was well known to us and would help out in the pub collecting glasses sometimes, came in, sat down and said. "I've killed John." He had.
Amazing_Goal_8003@reddit
Oh man.
-LittleBitOfMyLife-@reddit
A local used to ask other locals what they wanted from the supermarket. He would go and steal all the things asked for and sold it to them cheaper. Funny thing was, I also worked in the supermarket :L once he saw me in the supermarket, he stopped doing it. Or at least wasn’t so blasé about it
Solid_Violinist_5759@reddit
I was on girls night out 30 years ago in s London, my friend a police woman, me nurse assistant, couple others I can't say. Two guys were plotting a mu***er, she called it in and had them arrested on the spot. Careful who's professional next to you in bar! Yes they both done jail time
soverytiiiired@reddit
Regular leered at a new barmaid and made a horrible gurning noise. He said “Phwoooar. If you were my daughter and my wife wasn’t home…”
Never witnessed a barring happen so quickly.
SkyPilotOne@reddit
Dear me... I don't think he could have found a more offensive way of expressing himself.
Morganx27@reddit
I don't work in one, but I once had a bloke come in to my local with blood pissing out his head, come up to me asking if I'm the one who hit him in town. I wasn't, but I think he was just spoiling for a scrap in general to heal his bruised ego. I suggested he was probably best mending his broken head first.
Popular_View_5411@reddit
this isnt in the UK. or involving me but a stripper overheard a group of people planning the oaklahoma city bombing and informed the police about it before it happened.
There is a theory that some of the plotters were either confidential informants or once they realised the extent of the damage and loss of life there would be, informed the police themselves. Also one of the conspirators was the son of a CIA agent in Germany.
So the police were either unwilling to act on the intelligence they were recieving because it involved a protected person or didnt understand the significance of what they were being told. The police then covered it up by presenting tomothy mcVeigh as a lone wolf.
Anglea7stars@reddit
I'm saying this as a customer when I was a regular years ago in a local pub in UK. One man was divulging national security information every time we met, another who had a job of high security document disposal, used to open envelopes and talk about it. It's highly possible both men were lying about the facts for attention as I often made comments they shouldn't be talking about those things in public.
ManInCripplingDebt@reddit
I had a regular that must have been late 30s, early 40s. Had no social media, burner phone, very quiet and kept himself to himself. He use to live overseas (mainland Europe) and wouldn't deviate from the subject when asked about it. He had a normal English accent but was fluent in a couple other languages. The only people he chatted to were young female glass collectors (generally aged 16) and always seemed to have this calm demeanor as if he were trying to be as profound as possible in conversation, mixed in with the occasional remark about it being "past their bedtime". It was creepy to say the least.
One time an older lady was in, said she thought he recognised him and asked his name. I took a second, don't really know why but I lied and said I didn't know who he was. After she left I called him over and told him "hey do you know that lady from anywhere, she was asking who you were. Thought she recognised you."
Only time ive seen him animated at all "if anyone is asking about me, or say they recognise me, tell them to fuck off" followed by something along the lines of "people have... let's say 'bitten the dirt' asking about me".
Didnt really see him again after COVID happened and you required ID and addresses etc. To visit pubs and bars.
My theory was that he was on the run from the continent for... something... considering his demeanor around kids and teens I was sure he was a paedophile, but you can't exactly throw that accusation at someone.
yourefunny@reddit
My mate worked in a very dodgy pub in Birmingham while we were at uni. The kind of pub that had weapons behind the bar just in case. He was a big, pretty posh, rugby player like me. A lovely bloke and was very much adopted by the rough criminal locals at the pub. He didn't take shit and they respected him. A couple of times he had to defend himself from some very drunk/drugged up guys. One went too far and the locals did not like it. The next day he was told it was taken care of and he never saw the guy again. Not sure how bad the guy got it.
EliasRipley@reddit
I'm deaf officer.
DarrkKnighty3@reddit
I didn’t work in this particular pub but it was my local. So I had to share this story.
One of the other locals, probably in his 60s was a semi famous person. I think he was an English boxer.
Anyway. One of the bar staff told me he molested a child a long time ago.
He then wrote about it in his biography.
I was shocked. I shook hands with him when I come in for my drinks.
What’s crazy is that the locals know. Men and women. I stopped talking to him. But the rest of them still continue talking to him.
Admirable-Trouble789@reddit
One of those gobshites who can't dress himself properly which appears to be the fashion these days, you know the jeans only half pulled up and a baseball cap that floats above their brainless bonces instead of fitting on it (whatever)
Started boasting louder and louder about his many ventures making him oh so wealthy and admits to making barely legal AI porn in his spare time.
Wtf.
Kurukuruchan@reddit
All sorts. I used to be the lone bartender mon-fri nights at a tiny pub frequented by 15-20 men; most of whome were ex/semi-retired gangsters (Kray Twins vibes). This pub was only frequented by these guys, as anyone else who walked in the place left after 5 minutes due to the general frosty reception they were met with.
The most interesting one, as it was personal to me, was I inadvertently put my old neighbours in danger. Came in for shift complaining that my neighbour had come over and threatened my then gf, and made her cry. Was offered a lift home at the end of the night, which never usually happened. When we parked up outside of mine the other two guys in the car started talking about the lack of street lights and cctv; which as a naive law abiding citizen didn't mean anything to me.
The next day one of the other patrons took me aside and said "you know you put in motion a hit last night, right?" I was shocked and took the 2 men aside and told them that whatever they were thinking I was flattered to be seen as important enough to them for them offering their protection (pro bono), but to not do anything. The answer came back - "You sure? It won't come back to you or nothing.... and we were only going to rough them up some..."
jordancr1@reddit
Why didn't they take action that night?
otterly_destructive@reddit
Another night and they can have an alibi lined up and OC won't be able to contradict it.
Kurukuruchan@reddit
You think they were pulling a fast one on me? I did think it was odd to show reruns of Bake Off at 2am
sm3g-h3ad@reddit
They would of done but they were already late for another hit see because they gave the guy a lift home which they hadnt planned on doing
Kurukuruchan@reddit
I believe it was actually they were late to catch the rerun of the previous days Great British Bake Off.
One of them was a big Noel Fielding fan, the other thought he was a c*nt
Kurukuruchan@reddit
No idea. Apart from that night I'm not well versed in the logistics of a beating.
Evening-Web-3038@reddit
What about that time you had a private poker tournament with Danny Dyer and the Krays?
Kurukuruchan@reddit
Wtf are you talking about? Danny Dyer wasn't there... think you're confusing Dyer with David Courtney. Easy mistake to make
Double_Double7407@reddit
Because of course organised criminals are famous for touting for business by offering to beat up someone's neighbour because they "made their girlfriend cry".
some of the fantasy lives on here, man...
Kurukuruchan@reddit
Dang, you caught me.
It wasn't actually some has been gangsters on a dodgy North London estate, and it wasn't actually just any old neighbour. It was actually the real IRA, and the neighbour... no other than then serving Home Secretary, David Blunkett.
Large_Island3199@reddit
Was it you who took a pedalo to Africa?
Kurukuruchan@reddit
That was after I completed Football Manager, was a different night.
sossighead@reddit
I only spent 9 months in a pub and it was what I’d call a ‘nice’ craft beer pub. And the only time people crowded around the bar was on a Friday and Saturday night in which case I couldn’t hear them anyway.
Can’t recall anything particularly bad. Couple of accountants talking about tax avoidance rather than evasion so nothing actually illegal.
Large_Island3199@reddit
So pointless comment then mate
Live-Motor-4000@reddit
Hey, it’s got points…minus seven of them at the moment
Cool-Vanilla5874@reddit
Sat in a bar at Heathrow airport and got into a conversation with a random guy. Turned out he made his millions on the rob, working in cargo at the shipping ports. Like so many, he figured out you could easily make a few containers go “missing” every once in a while. He was a cheeky chappy, very much Eric Bristow vibes, with his strong tan and lavish persona I had no doubt believing his tales. Thought fair play to the guy, to be honest.
Therealscavvierising@reddit
Just the standard cash in hand builders on benefits, who also have a part time career in drug dealing.
Who still find the time to shag some teen girl on the side while the misses is looking after the kids.
Normal salt of the earth British blokes.
Objective_Living_825@reddit
Worked in a pub with function rooms that did a retirement do for a copper. The guy genuinely seemed to have a nickname like bruiser and the speech was full of jokes about suspects 'banging their head on the side of the van wink wink'.
Squeak_Stormborn@reddit
I wasn't working but on the way back from the toilet I heard a couple talking about burying a body. I stopped and fumbled around with my bag nervously because I had to hear more, and work out if I should be calling the police. I was getting a rush of adrenaline. Thought I was about to be the key witness in a muder trial.
Eventually realised they were talking about someone called 'Socks', who I choose to believe was a cat.
Rough_Angle_3840@reddit
If it was 'Mittens' I would be with you. 😂
Rowanx3@reddit
Its never usually the patrons that say anything that bad. It usually some form of male management is having an affair with another younger foh employee. Ive seen 4 cases of this over the 6 years ive been in hospitality.
TranslatorCritical11@reddit
That sounds more like the bar in Cheers! 😂
Rowanx3@reddit
Ive never seen cheers but it sounds like it must be accurate 😂 even right now at my job theres been drama because our 48 y/o gm had been cheating on his 12 year long girlfriend for the 26y/o supervisor and now the supervisor is causing problems with the assistant gm because she thinks she owns the place for being the gm’s new gf.
Then an old head chef of the place i work at has recently left his wife 3 weeks postpartum for the assistant gm that’s significantly younger than him at his new place.
Then i worked at a harvester and the gm was having a 4 year long affair with the assistant gm, he had moved her in to the flat upstairs and he’d always say he’s going upstairs to do paper work but everyone knew he was in the flat with her.
Then i worked at another place that a couple in their late 40’s/early 50’s ran together and the wife hated every woman that worked there because the husband had had an affair with a 19y/o waitress.
mizcello@reddit
I often gave people lifts home so they didn't drink drive, I was about 21/f (when it was just men I'd share my location with my boyfriend and dad) I was taking 3 men home and they were discussing a murder of a 14 year old boy that had happened the day before which was unsolved, it was a horrible murder that people in the surrounding areas heard the screams but didn't realise what it was. He had been partially decapitated as the murderer wanted to leave his head on someone's doorstep as a message.
Anyway, they were talking about it and I said I hope they find out who did it and they all went quiet and said they know who did it and what happened, but told me not to tell anyone, I told my boyfriend when I got home and one of the named people was one of his friends who he was supposed to meet up with that night, we just brushed it off as drunk chat/rumours, about 5 days later it was breaking news and it was the exact people who the people in my car had named, including my boyfriends friend and it played out exactly how the people in my car had told me.
I'm not sure it was incriminating, but they were certainly 'in the know' about that young boy being murdered.
sleepydevs@reddit
It's strange to me that he skipped over the mechanisms. One of the primary and best understood ones wasn't mentioned at all, and isn't necessary hindered by technology, but the type of technology usws.
Writing by hand (which you can do on a tablet) activates wider networks in the brain tied to movement, sensory processing, and memory. Typing demonstrably leads to significantly shallower information processing, retention and understanding of the information that's typed.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10853352/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11943480/
...and many more.
Pedantichrist@reddit
Rape. All the time. ‘Got her so drunk she was blacked out’ etc. Like it is normal.
Beautiful_Hawk548@reddit
Incriminating? I mean technically I've heard plenty of people talk about drugs or whatnot but I don't think that's the gossip you want
What was *really actually* incriminating, worked in a bar in Nantwich, it was very much a "working mans" pub where all the working men were on benefits- no judgement, they were all lovely but they were all just slowly drinking themselves to death. Bloke in town had been arrested and in court on some charges, I don't think it was murder, but he'd fed someone’s dead body to his pigs. Everyone in town knew he'd done it, he'd bragged about it afterwards and had a bit of a history himself and a bad relationship with the other guy. Open fights in town, that sort of thing.
He came into the pub I worked in after the court case, ordered a John Smiths and took his place at the bar like nothing had happened. A bit later, he was chatting to some of the other locals when he says "Daz, I'd fucking have him again if i could the police are shite."
Another_Random_Chap@reddit
Guy I used to know would boast about driving over the limit, and how no-one would ever catch him because he was such a good driver, and he got better after a couple of pints. Lasted about 6 months before he narrowly avoided taking out a motorbike and ended up through a hedge. The magistrates disagreed that he was a good driver.
Scrot123@reddit
A punter in my local runs a factory. He realised two of his employees were shagging at work in a room which had no cameras, and were using the fire doors to avoid cameras on their way there so he'd never been able to catch them at it.
He waited until they'd gone into the room, and "accidentally slipped" whilst holding a drill, and ended up drilling the fire door shut. Million to one shot.
He had to sit there and wait for them to finish, realise the fire door was stuck and leave through a door which showed them on the cameras, then he undrilled the fire door.
He showed them the tape and both of them quit on the spot.
Think the only incriminating part of this is HSE violations, but I found it very funny. The man's a real life Ron Swanson.
DogaSui@reddit
I used to work in pubs in Cambridge. Two 30- something upper-middle class guys drinking at the bar:
"My brother knows I disapprove of his job"
"Is that the one who's fucking the economy?"
"No, the one who's destroying the environment"
Pretty big crimes if you ask me lol
sellmeglass@reddit
I worked in a coffee shop with a large contingent of drug dealers, mainly Albanians(but I will say they were a multi national organisation) with a lot having multiple phones regularly having tense phonecalls discussing business. One of their team would regularly boast of beating his wife, with lines about how she was asking for it going out dressed like a slut. Usually that was internal table conversation I’d pick up walking the floor of the shop. Occasionally he’d have shouting rows, with what were clearly his runners over the phone, he’d do this in one corner of the shop, trying to not bother people but the shop would cower away, and I’d be expected to ask him to calm down/have the convo outside. Same guy once opened his wallet to pay in the store down the road to a shower of white powder onto the counter, to which he laughed and brushed off the counter and followed up with a “well that was an expensive mistake” proceeding to pay as if it was perfectly normal.
Abject-Plankton4620@reddit
I once got asked for a threesome by a guy and his wife. To my eternal regret I just giggled nervously
MyRowdyDog@reddit
I used to work in a smart Bar / Restaurant in a seaside village a couple of years ago… this guy who was having dinner with his date gets up to go to the bathroom… a couple of moments later a young boy and his dad get up and also go to the bathroom… The guy comes out and sits back down with his date. It’s really quiet in the restaurant but most of the tables are full with couples eating… The young lad and his dad come out and walk past the table where the guy is with his date. He tugs on his dad’s sleeve and says in a very very loud voice “ Look look Daddy - there’s that man who had a wee and didn’t wash his hands afterwards… !” You could have heard a pin drop… Eveyone turned around to see who it was… OMG that was so funny 🤣 Felt for the guy though who must have wanted the ground to swallow him up !
James_Connery007@reddit
This is by far my favourite! 😂😂
englishforhello@reddit
It’s by bar my favourite too.
kendoddsdadsdeaddog@reddit
Ngl I thought the little kid and dad were going to ask Mummy who she was having dinner with !
Large_Island3199@reddit
What about after doing a poo is not washing your hands also illegal? Asking for a friend (me)
FranzFerdinand51@reddit
Literally hear the classic line “we should out em all on a boat and sink it” last weekend. Shouldn’t even be allowed to breed.
Distinct-Tour-5654@reddit
But if we do that, who will paint our roundabouts for us?
Snooker1471@reddit
Lol I don't work in a bar, But I was in a bar on Sunday night and watched a guy clearly pass a wrap over to a 2nd guy who had only just approached him. The passer then said quite loudly. That's 3 now, you will need to settle up before you get any more. Obviously just a simple sherbert dealer lol.
DrNuclearSlav@reddit
My innocent mind thought "it's a bit odd, but what's wrong with handing someone a fajita?" at first.
concretepigeon@reddit
Can’t bring your own food in.
Snooker1471@reddit
Oh I missed what the deleted comments were lol. But if it was about contacting the police or making citizens arrests lol then sorry I have zero evidence that I could back up in a court of law. I also enjoy being anonymous and love my legs. BTW this was inches from the bar and if I saw it I'm fairly certain others including one member of the bar staff could either see it and if not certainly hear the seller advise his buyer that his upper credit limit had been reached lol. As they say not my party...
Large_Island3199@reddit
Not incriminating, you’re just assuming it’s drugs. Unless you’re a snitch.
WaterDependentFish@reddit
"snitching" is only something other criminals can do to one another, the general public can't be snitches 🤣
uniquenewyork_@reddit
me when i’m wrong
Large_Island3199@reddit
Google the definition of snitching it’s not exclusive to criminals.
WaterDependentFish@reddit
Nah, a civilian witnessing a public crime and reporting it is a civic duty, snitching would be 1 dealer grassing up another to reduce his own punishment
SedentorySensor77@reddit
wtf I hope you’re joking.
Large_Island3199@reddit
What if I’m not pal. You’d actually call the police on someone doing drugs in a pub?
SedentorySensor77@reddit
This is Reddit not the police, his statement was completely ambiguous, literally could be anyone anywhere.
Large_Island3199@reddit
I mean it obviously was drugs but still.
RBisoldandtired@reddit
SHERBERT
Umbarbler@reddit
Oh god.
Committing murders. International drug trafficking. Committing thefts, robberies and fraud. Cheating on their spouses. You name it.
I worked more than a few years in a lot of places. It's crazy what information people will trust you with after they sink a few pints.
georgiebb@reddit
My first job was working at a village pub. I served a miserable older man pints all evening until he finally got up to leave at about 11, and told me he had to be up at 3am to get to work. As an easyJet pilot
mister_boi98@reddit
I only been working here about 6 months, but one of the younger regulars admitted to selling heroin. This came after how I said I used to sell weed at one point and he was acting like it's the same thing. When I showed a shocked face reaction he started talking about how bad heroin is and how that's all in the past. He didn't stay long after that.
There are probably other incidents but I been doing this for 11 years now, I can't remember.
Darthblaker7474@reddit
This customer was next to be served, stood right in-front of me. They ask their obviously underage child and ask them what drink they like.
gaz3028@reddit
Mine normally has a tango 🙄
Large_Island3199@reddit
J20 please dad.
Aggressive-Low-9578@reddit
Worked in a pub in Manchester when I was a student man comes running in puts a gun on the bar and says hide it and runs through the other door came back two days later to collect it like he was buying a packet of crisps
Recent_Employee@reddit
Worked in a shady enough bar in Liverpool and a local thug started frequenting the place and inevitably got know him a bit on account of him constantly talking and me nodding along not to cause any offence. He'd put £20 into the fruity machine and a couple of lads came up soon after and took the jackpot. This lad saw red and there was a bit of beef but the lads stood their ground. 5 minutes later he's harassing me for a knife or a scissors and giving me shit for not giving him one. Thankfully the bar was enough of a shithole that we didn't put lemon in drinks for him to get a knife. Few nights later he turns up again and I was able to get the doormen involved, also local thugs, but had my back and never saw him again.
Gold-Cheesecake3987@reddit
I did a few shifts for some pocket money at an incredibly rough pub in Manchester. A bloke tried to sell me and the landlady stolen perfume whilst I was being interviewed. She just said ‘that will happen a lot, does that bother you?’. It didn’t.
It attracted a lot of low level criminals of all sorts, was quite endearing in a way, they had a real sense of community. I’d turn a blind eye to them snorting on the tables or selling whatever random stuff they’d pinched from the Arndale, but I would politely ask them if they could smoke crack on the street rather than directly in front of the bar.
Was actually a good laugh, they were all polite to me and would actually tip a lot better than most of the customers at more higher end establishments I’ve been at.
DrRudeboy@reddit
I was running the Sunday shift in a pretty well known cocktail bar, beloved by the local community. A young dude came down, and asked if he can speak to the manager. I assured him of his immense luck in picking me out immediately, and asked how I can help.
At this point I told him that while I appreciate the heads up, you don't usually go up to the venue manager and ask if they mind you illegally selling drugs in their venue. (And yes, pretty much every bar will turn a blind eye to the local dealers as long as they're sensible, and don't take the piss, nobody says it out loud)
LeRaven78@reddit
Nothing actually incriminating but back in the late 90s I worked in a bar that was frequented by a gangster and his entourage. He's not a household name but if you googled him, he was involved in a couple of proper massive drug cases (which he got off with!)
The staff had standing orders from the owners that whatever this guy and his crew wanted, they got it. If they wanted served after we were supposed to be closed, we had to keep serving them. They specifically said if they started smashing the place up, we should stand back and let them do it.
TBF I never had any bother off them and I was a super nervous little dweeb back then so I clearly wouldn't have even registered with them, but looking back it was mental and then years later reading about the court case and how fucking serious the guy was (he was guilty as fuck regardless of the verdict, the prosecution fucked up)
busytransitgworl@reddit
I have the right to remain silent, anything I do say may be given in evidence!
So, nice try, copper
Cautious-Arm-7855@reddit
This is the correct answer
MysticBLZD@reddit
I didn’t hear it but last summer I turned 18 and done a brief stint working in a pub on a Friday and Saturday night before moving away for school.
We started doing stuff like band nights etc to get people in and sure enough it brought in a younger crowd, a lot of people I knew from school that I was either friends with or knew of. After a few months of me working there people I knew that had a less that ideal reputation would often envelops with money and sometimes other things inside and ask me to give it to the other person when they come in later
Large_Island3199@reddit
Yeh pal you became an accidental mule. Got a similar story coming back from Colombia.
Easy_Effort7985@reddit
lol. I used to work in a popular high street Irish bar that was open until 2 on Fridays/Saturdays. After close on those nights, the manager would usually allow a small lock-in that often included two unpleasant chaps who I believe were the local dealers. They would sit drinking and smoking (post UK smoking ban) and taking trips to the toilet whilst we cleaned down the bar. Not particularly exciting, I know.
ultrafunkmiester@reddit
I miss lock-ins.
Not just in locals, but particularly in unfamiliar places. The secrecy, the special bottles that came out, the long pours, getting to know new people and the stories.
Haven't had one in donkeys years.
Large_Island3199@reddit
Why allow them to remain during the lock in then? Also two blokes doing some sniff in an Irish bar is probably the most normal thing I’ve ever heard. I’d actually be disappointed if people weren’t doing sniff.
Easy_Effort7985@reddit
Sorry, I should have said...the landlord was doing all of this with them.
Large_Island3199@reddit
Unbelievably common in hospitality, also being a landlord doesn’t require you to be a model citizen some people just like abit of packet.
Easy_Effort7985@reddit
I'm sure it is. Didn't bother me. Just answering OP's question. I did say it wasn't very exciting.
Large_Island3199@reddit
Oh yeah I didn’t even get to the bottom my bad.
Johnny_Vernacular@reddit
Shooting civilians in Afghanistan.
RBisoldandtired@reddit
“I shot the Afghanis…
…it was in London. I had PTSD. I got dishonourably discharged. They took my medals.”
Tugga68@reddit
As Ron White once said, " I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability."
Hot-Table1528@reddit
Not a bar, but I worked in a cafe and one weekday morning a guy sat for about 2 hours calling people and was fairly obviously chasing up drug/loan shark debts.
CamKi79@reddit
I
Askingforadvice2022@reddit
Morning officer.
RoutineCloud5993@reddit
Nice try, copper
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