God I hope I'm not pregnant
Posted by BeauBuffet@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 48 comments
Hot pickled jalapeños, blueberries and off brand cream cheese.
Posted by BeauBuffet@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 48 comments
Hot pickled jalapeños, blueberries and off brand cream cheese.
uh60chief@reddit
Plot twist: OP is a dude
SmellyAlpaca@reddit
🫃
Next-Drink8593@reddit
Technology advancement.
Fartfully@reddit
Oh I thought maybe they were a raccoon
TJSwoboda@reddit
If you're eating that I'm diagnosing you as pregnant, even if you're a 103 year old man.
TKG_Actual@reddit
Maybe you're only pergat?
alienkava@reddit
Definitely pegnate
sltiefighter@reddit
Pegernenté
KatsuraCerci@reddit
Perhaps pregananant
kummerspect@reddit
Pregante!
IdentityCrisis87@reddit
Olives would’ve been better imo.
Reasonable_Diet7955@reddit
Well I can tell you one way for sure if you're pregnant or not.
Step one: check for peenar.
If peenar then not pregnant
If pooni then well, go to Walgreens.
Step two if peenar: go buy some mirilax and rolaids because you're stomach will be fucked.
Step two if pooni: have baby.
Next-Drink8593@reddit
Bahahahahahah. OMFG I just laughed so loud my roommate looked me like… “ she really is f*g crazy “
Reasonable_Diet7955@reddit
Perry has a peenar
Next-Drink8593@reddit
Wow… how did you know that? Seriously… Perry?
Safe_Software_1640@reddit
peak millennial humor
Reasonable_Diet7955@reddit
I am not a millennial. But thank you
third-knight@reddit
OP is pregnant. Even if OP is a man.
Ok-Shopping1536@reddit
You don't have to if you don't want to! Just saying. You have options!
tomado09@reddit
Despicable
misterrodgerssweater@reddit
They didn’t explicitly say that and this sub is better of without these debates
tomado09@reddit
It was certainly implied. User deleted the comment less than 5 min after posting - did you even see what it said?
You might as well tell the top level commenter not to make those comments.
misterrodgerssweater@reddit
I did and I still can. They blocked you
tomado09@reddit
Then you can see there's nothing in that comment that even remotely implies adoption.
"You don't have to if you don't want to! Just saying. You have options! We all do as women! You can make whatever choice that is best for you!"
The only way to interpret this is abortion. She's saying "You don't have to be pregnant if you don't want to".
misterrodgerssweater@reddit
Yeah the “you have options” and “make whatever choice that is best for you” are what made me think otherwise. I can see how you interpreted it as well
Jakkunski@reddit
It’s not a human life at this point, whereas all respecting parents ARE currently living their human lives.
Causing purposeful suffering to real people for the sake of a clump of cells that may or may not become a person is what’s truly despicable
tomado09@reddit
This is an often repeated, incorrect statement by the pro-abortion crowd. It's not in line with medical science nor morality.
I'd ask you: under what criteria does a "clump of cells" become alive - a "real" person, as you say?
- Upon birth? Then how is assault leading to the death of a (wanted) child counted as murder? What is it about birth that makes the child human? Exposure to air? Magic human juice in the vaginal canal? So a child is not human 30 seconds before birth, but 30 seconds later magically becomes human?
- When he/she exhibits brain waves (still in the womb by the way)? By that logic, you'd be forced to agree (if your position was at all to be logically consistent) that someone who is brain dead is not human and therefore no longer has rights.
- If he/she is wanted by the mother? Then the mother has the right to confer humanity to the child or not - basically the mother is God. One day she may love the child and the next, strip the child of her humanity when she finds out it's a girl (or some other arbitrary unwanted characteristic like hair color or disability).
The fact is, denying the fetus humanity (again, which has no medical or moral basis) clears the way, so to speak, morally and emotionally for people to do what they already wanted to do, regardless of the violation of the dignity of another human. Furthermore, it is a gross overstatement to say that the position that people shouldn't kill other people, even if the cost is following a pregnancy to birth, is "causing purposeful suffering". That position doesn't cause pregnancy, nor does it cause whatever suffering would be experienced by the pregnant woman - the woman's actions (sex) were actually the proximate cause the vast majority of the time (all but less than 1% of abortion cases are non-SA related, per Guttmacher Institute, a pro-abortion think tank).
metalguy91@reddit
Like no, but also, I see the vision. Sweet loves spice, spice loves creamy, creamy loves sweet. I honestly can’t be mad at it, it’s barely a meal and more an assortment of ingredients, but those ingredients could definitely work well together depending. I use blueberries in caprese salad all the time so I’m 2/3 the way there already.
kummerspect@reddit
Watermelon salad follows that pattern. Sweet watermelon, spicy jalapenos, salty/creamy feta, and pickled red onion. It covers all the things when properly balanced.
I feel like OP's combo is... unbalanced, but I suppose there's a world in which it works. If the fruit was more jammy it's not too far off from anything you'd see on a charcuterie board.
Loubbe@reddit
A world made of spinach and a touch of salt and honey
metalguy91@reddit
Second comment I’ve gotten watermelon feta salad lol, y’all have good taste. I’d say if OP mixed this with a little goat cheese and basil and put it in a log, it would go along with a high priced charcuterie no problem.
psychic-bison@reddit
Try a salad of mint, parsley, feta, watermelon, a vinegar, and S+P. My favorite summer salad.
metalguy91@reddit
I have done almost exactly this and yes it’s absolutely amazing. Add some fresh lime juice and a dash or two of Tajin as well!
va1us_taaurc@reddit
Feet for free in this economy is crazy.
Plastic_Midnight_708@reddit
My mom used to make a dip for parties that was basically pepper jelly over cream cheese and that shit was incredible.
ValleygirlVenus@reddit
Mr-Bry-Guy@reddit
😂😂😂
peachesbutno_creme@reddit
same 😭
this doesn't look bad and I feel like this post belongs on a girl dinner sub . i don't find it shitty, I find it girl snacky
TiredNanaJudy@reddit
Me too. Indigestion doesn’t mix well with pregnancy.
notsocrazycatlady69@reddit
There could be worse cravings, pregnant or not. Some people eat laundry detergent and other non-food stuff; it's called pica then
When I was pregnant my biggest craving was those little individually wrapped pecan pies and it lasted most of my pregnancy. I think Little Debbie or somebody used to make them- they were with the brownies and stuff. Could not find them at all, finally broke down and bought a regular pecan pie but it wasn't the same. Rural King I found out carries them in the fall, don't recall the name but not the same brand, and they sell out pretty fast the last time I went there a couple years ago. I did crave a beer for about a minute when I was at a stoplight and abar was in front of me but it passed as soon as I turned. Oh and there was a day or two I craved "baby batter"- you know, the kind you add to eggs to make babies? Wouldn't have been an issue if I wasn't single- didn't give in to that craving either. I did give in to the fried beef liver and onions (cooked in onions but told mom she could have my onions) craving- we used to eat it growing up a lot because my dad helped butcher a lot
ChefAsstastic@reddit
I can help you get pregnant!
BaseballSea9843@reddit
I somehow think pregnancy is the least surprising ingredient in that bowl... Lol
CaolTheRogue@reddit
This isn't girldinnerdiaries
cunt_in_wonderland@reddit
thank you 🙄
chromedgnome@reddit
Naw, this could be really good if everything is in the right proportions. I had a cranberry-jalapeño cream cheese dip last Thanksgiving that I'm still thinking about.
MyTacoNachos@reddit
I'm not mad. This doesn't feel much different than a cream cheese and a sweet jalapeno jam log/spread. Throw that shit on some crackers!
Echos_light@reddit
This is sick btw
mwpdx86@reddit
If this tastes good, you've got at least triplets.