Firecrackers stole our retirement.

Posted by Quirkyasfuc@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 55 comments

I had a random memory pop in my head the other day about blowing up action figures with fireworks.

Especially when an M80 was still a small stick of dynamite. My GI Joes didn't stand a chance!

Then I thought about what those figures would be worth today if I still had them.

I could have been retired with how much I would have made selling them!

I have no doubt many of us could be if we didn't destroy or throw out something random that ended up being valuable over time.

Who else has had this thought about something from our childhood?

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Vegaprime@reddit

Baseball cards and bike spokes. So much money.

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Wldchld73@reddit

My brothers were given real M80s by our grandad, it was mailboxes that never stood a chance.

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automator3000@reddit

We had that one uncle who didn’t really have limits, and he hooked us kids up with M80s at grandpa’s farm one summer. Very surprised none of us lost a finger that year.

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oldschool_potato@reddit

You need the box and they both need to new in perfect condition. Unless it’s a rare variant like the ones of Boba Fet or Vader it’s not much.

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Quirkyasfuc@reddit (OP)

Isn't that one the most valuable ofvall time? I think it was the one that fired the misile?

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Yeah it was never released. I think 6 in total were made as proto-types. With Vader there was something with the cape that’s were part of the first run. Not nearly as valuable but I think the second most valuable.

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Feeling-Pea5281@reddit

We had Planet of the Apes action figures. Older brother (with my eager permission) gave my Dr. Zaius the firecracker enema he deserved.

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BillMaleficent9400@reddit

I hot glued a D-rocket motor onto a J.I. Joe Jeep and proceeded to light my neighbor yard on fire

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Ray_The_Engineer@reddit

Loved my model rockets. And yeah, I did some curious things with the big motors, as well!

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Nanocephalic@reddit

I don’t think I ever launched more than a C rocket

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Dvae23@reddit

If you hadn't all blown up all your GI Joes, there would be an abundance of them today and they would be worthless. I didn't destroy my Masters Of The Universe Action figures and I still have to work.

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arrakisworm75666@reddit

my GI JOE POW camp was crazy, i’ll never forget the day Crazy Legs dropped into a trap and was tortured and burned alive, that plastic just dripped like candle wax. COBRA!

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Noobitron12@reddit

If you follow Starwarscollecting subreddit once in a while someone will post what was found in parents attic. Like people posting action figures that were never opened.
Except they still aren’t worth enough to retire on One guy had maybe $40-60k worth a while back. A few $7-10k figures were in the mix

I don’t have one toy left from my childhood but I started collecting in the early 2000’s. Not any vintage stuff but I have purchased a few Star Wars items for under $50 and can easily sell for over $500 right now.

I did blow a lot of stuff up, It was fun

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zionzednem@reddit

Alas I’m with you…. My blown up , BB gun shot and melted GI Joe and OG Star Wars figures are fondly missed.

Jeep, Tent, Crash, BOOM! ❤️

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lht79@reddit

I’m pretty sure all my Strawberry Shortcake stuff and my brother’s Star Wars and Dukes of Hazard stuff is highly flammable - probably couldn’t safely be sold today - us kids were tough!

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Quirkyasfuc@reddit (OP)

Don't forget to cuddle your little fire starter all night. 😆

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lht79@reddit

I so did - and I run hot. Rebel child.

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Advanced_Tax174@reddit

I’m confused. Selling a few old GI Joes was going to fund someone’s retirement?

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Sweaty-Society7582@reddit

Something tells me there's a bit of hyperbole in the post.

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Ok-Limit-9726@reddit

But if everybody kept everything, it would all be worthless,

You had fun....

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Positron14@reddit

I was careful with my toys, particularly my transformers. My GI Joes disappeared. Never had any Star Wars.

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Dragnkat@reddit

I had at least 20 of the original Star Wars action figures. Mine were played with but not in bad shape. When I had my kids, mom just...handed down my toys at her house. When dad passed and she downsized, my life was the typical young mom chaos...I'm sure they got tossed in SOME toy clean out.

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RedditSkippy@reddit

In order to be valuable, they would have had to be in original packaging.

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Majestic-Citron7578@reddit

Me and one of my friends decided to assault Castle Greyskull with bb guns. That was a mistake. Especially if the new movie blows up.

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NapsRNeeded@reddit

I for sure had Gretzky rookie cards in my bike spokes.

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Repulsive-Box5243@reddit

I would take the original Kenner Star Wars figures, rip their limbs off, and paint the limbs and stumps with bright red model paint.

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Historical_Bath_9854@reddit

Oh, I can't do that. Nononpnpno😭😭😭😭🤬

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ThePythiaofApollo@reddit

My brother used to do this to his He-Man, Thundercats and GI Joe. It blew my mind at the time. He also had the metal lion Voltron back in ‘84 and I shudder to think of its fate.

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Chad_Hooper@reddit

At first I thought your point was that the money we spent on fireworks should have been saved for our retirement. But, c’mon, this generation?

If we hadn’t spent it on lighting up half a string of Black Cats a few times every 4th, plus all the bottle rockets and Roman Candles, we’d still have spent that money on beer, weed, or condoms before we even got out of high school!

And I never blew up my GI Joes; the green Army men were the ones who got that honor 🫡🇺🇸🫡🪦

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Educational-Ad608@reddit

My G.I. Joes were expensive (for us) gifts. Would never have dreamed of destroying them. Small plastic army men, on the other hand…

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Edward_the_Dog@reddit

I walked my Darth Vader action figure across the stovetop of death. He ended up a melty puddle of black plastic with a lightsaber sticking out.

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squarebody8675@reddit

My mom sold everything in garage sales. Gen- x 😢

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Solid_Association_49@reddit

My dad gave all mine to his four time divorced girlfriends grandson…

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squarebody8675@reddit

Yes!! You sir are genx! Classic son of a boomer experience

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MinusGovernment@reddit

My brother and I had ALL the star wars figures, vehicles and playsets (some doubles) along with a bunch of GI Joes and my mom did the same thing.

I didn't use the good toys to blow up with fireworks. We bought the bags of plastic army soldiers to do that with.

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PlantWide3166@reddit

Worth it.

And I’d do it again.

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Kitchen_Page9991@reddit

If your older self went back in time and told your younger self this, younger self wouldn’t have listened. They’d say “whatever” and still blow shit up knowing they could go down to Kmart and grab another.

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CleverNickName-69@reddit

How much do you think they would be worth?

https://www.ebay.com/itm/336424057637?_skw=gi+joe+action+figures&itmmeta=01KT30VV0WCSHZT45FESC9QRH7&hash=item4e546fbb25:g:Y\~cAAOSwaetoCO-D&itmprp=enc%3AAQALAAAA8GfYFPkwiKCW4ZNSs2u11xBOO92RH%2FKAQVS12TGYg4WCsUkWW51z%2FveI4bAZsuXPA1W0pPuek7zJxdCq11q%2BdoLSTw8acWHnZqLsTvr3IiIJV2xQUsdLmizeK1kKKIhP0Ih33ufOZXT%2Bql7dVRY6JkpUzJ3i%2BVhc%2Fi5olVFsy7Mv%2Fu15x%2FiEvZ0cKLI3j%2FEUvzJMM80rjdY%2Bbn%2BX63iGuCGoTzDU5jyaRxPpudxNkLVaj02ki0RJltv%2FQw6xC6TCg7h035Hze0UwM82lQiyTQCOl8Js5b%2BN7KQ%2BETe%2BzEjzqbuf9cACd3a8SpWo%2BNtufvQ%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABFBMvrHv4NBn

Not much.

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greatlakesseakayaker@reddit

This one is for sale online $349

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Quirkyasfuc@reddit (OP)

Thanks, this help. 😆

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IranticBehaviour@reddit

Lol. Counterpoint: If we all still had them, they wouldn't be worth anything today.

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Quirkyasfuc@reddit (OP)

Very true.🤔

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HurinGray@reddit

I'd rather have my memories of an original X-Wing put to good use.

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Quirkyasfuc@reddit (OP)

I agree. I'm cool with them going out in blaze of glory over sitting on a shelf.

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acreekofsoap@reddit

I have a stack of old topps baseball cards if you wanna root through that. I think one is worth a whole $3!

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Quirkyasfuc@reddit (OP)

I'll trade you a few of my Desert Storm cards. 😆

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FinvaraSidhe@reddit

I feel you. I had almost an entire set of the first run Star Wars figures, the falcon and x wing along with the Death Star playset. Til my younger brother decided they needed to be in the sandbox, and left there , buried.

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Quirkyasfuc@reddit (OP)

Someday someone will literally dig up burried treasure.

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bazzoozzab@reddit

It was worth it.

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Quirkyasfuc@reddit (OP)

Yeah, it totally was.

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joemamah77@reddit

You mean like every single Star Wars figurine, X-wing and Tie Fighter I had from 1977?

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Quirkyasfuc@reddit (OP)

Damn. This one hurts. I lost a few myself during the geat Hoth reenactment of '89.

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TheOsirisOfThisShit_@reddit

Those action figures are worth 15 bucks today. Even if they were new in their original packaging they would only be worth hundreds. The things that are worth thousands are obscure special versions that you didn't have.

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lht79@reddit

So all those parents who wouldn’t let their kids play with their own toys out of the packaging were wrong?! Thanks be that those weren’t my parents.

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KLLR_ROBOT@reddit

This. I sold off a fairly large collection of various figures, 95% of them still on the card or in the box. I got A LOT less than I thought I’d get. You really have to have the rare, low production pieces, or stuff that was just hard to get at the time.