My uncle told me the same thing, but only because he played the fun secret game a little bit different than my dad.
You know how the designated hitter rule in baseball varies from the American League and the National League? There was a similar rule in my childhood, but it involved spitting or swallowing.
True story: anon is 45 and coming off a 7 year meth binge. His kid was the state trooper who pulled him over for erratic driving and the mom a sober gal anon met in na 22 years ago. Anon, in his meth fueled state, got into a police chase 7 years ago, that ended in him going into a coma, eventually forgetting his whole methcapade, and another outcome is his short term memory was rotted by drugs, his long term from the steering column that went through his jaw into his brain. So he doesn't even remember yesterday, in fact every day he wakes up is his first day waking up from this coma, where before the coma he had almost hooked up with this girl from when he was in uni. He doesn't remember anything before waking up every morning in recovery.
_____AndJustice4All@reddit
Pussy so trash it gave you amnesia
SuperSocialMan@reddit
Or it was so good his brain couldn't comprehend it.
morbnowhere@reddit
Eldritchussy
WoolooOfWallStreet@reddit
This was a Bloodborne plotline wasn’t it?
Pyle02@reddit
Imagine forgetting about losing your virginity. He is technically not a virgin but since he doesn't remember he is still a theoretical virgin.
EuenovAyabayya@reddit
Nobody ever blacks out in college /s
ojqANDodbZ1Or1CEX5sf@reddit
Never happened to me; I can just teleport late at night if I'm drunk enough
crimsonpowder@reddit
In this type of situation, what is the status of his wizard powers?
myn3meisjo3@reddit
Schrödinger’s virgin
EuenovAyabayya@reddit
Well up until the baby
letseatlunch@reddit
No, Schrödinger’s virgin is more like your daughter in her room with her BF and the door is closed.
gamerush177@reddit
If you never had sex, that means she did something extremely illegal
WintersbaneGDX@reddit
Anon didn't realize it was sex because his uncle always told him it was just a fun secret game that he shouldn't tell his parents about.
New_Canuck_Smells@reddit
He's gonna show you how a big boy loves you
Okaoka_12@reddit (OP)
My babysitter told me the same
HamBlamBlam@reddit
He should be in prison.
PheasantPlucker1@reddit
Not to sound like a liberal cuck, but I do not think rape victims belong in prison
jackocomputerjumper@reddit
Wow wow wow why
Super-Fill7098@reddit
Pretty edgy my dude
reddsht@reddit
Prison secret fun games 😌
TaintedTruffle@reddit
Did your babysitter volunteer at my local church?
Okaoka_12@reddit (OP)
She lives free today, i hate her i hope she dies a slow painful death
SipoteQuixote@reddit
EcstaticNet3137@reddit
Why does stavy look so natural like this?
slaydawgjim@reddit
Bro played cave explorer
thr33beggars@reddit
My uncle told me the same thing, but only because he played the fun secret game a little bit different than my dad.
You know how the designated hitter rule in baseball varies from the American League and the National League? There was a similar rule in my childhood, but it involved spitting or swallowing.
NervousHovercraft@reddit
Upstairs-Ad-4705@reddit
igniteice@reddit
Anon was so committed to the incel bit, he erased his own memories of losing his virginity. God damn.
Fucked-In-The-K-Hole@reddit
Kind of fucking based, when you think about it
NotAPirateLawyer@reddit
Or, more likely, she used one of those fake paternity test places that guarantee a match.
Xamonir@reddit
If a man wants to get his wizard wand for his 30th birthday, he's gotta do some stuff. Or rather not do some specific stuff.
altofanaltthatisalt@reddit
Anon has early-onset dementia from eating too much lead paint as a little kid
romulusnr@reddit
Manlet thinks gestation takes "a few years"
ImportantResponse0@reddit
The girl realised that it was his kid because the kid was ...
romulusnr@reddit
if the kid was.... she's almost certainly sleeping with more than one of ....
also in the 4chan universe, a black virgin at 27 is less believable than a virgin birth ngl
ImportantResponse0@reddit
I wasn't talking about racism, I was talking about leading impairment and intelligence level.
romulusnr@reddit
then she should wait until the kid turns 27 and see if he's still a virgin before jumping to conclusions
ImportantResponse0@reddit
Once the kid was on 4chan he knew. That is where he found anon
PerpetualPermaban2@reddit
fake and gay?
ImportantResponse0@reddit
Yes.
He was indeed fake as Anon is gay.
romulusnr@reddit
Wait, maybe Anon is fake and the kid is gay
Wait, maybe anon is gay and the kid is gay and that's how she found out taps head
ImportantResponse0@reddit
You know Anon tells the truth when pregnancy last for years.
Flashlight_Inspector@reddit
Dick so short the gestation missed the bus and had to walk
makingkevinbacon@reddit
True story: anon is 45 and coming off a 7 year meth binge. His kid was the state trooper who pulled him over for erratic driving and the mom a sober gal anon met in na 22 years ago. Anon, in his meth fueled state, got into a police chase 7 years ago, that ended in him going into a coma, eventually forgetting his whole methcapade, and another outcome is his short term memory was rotted by drugs, his long term from the steering column that went through his jaw into his brain. So he doesn't even remember yesterday, in fact every day he wakes up is his first day waking up from this coma, where before the coma he had almost hooked up with this girl from when he was in uni. He doesn't remember anything before waking up every morning in recovery.
Or something like that
romulusnr@reddit
and then he tested for carbon monoxide
makingkevinbacon@reddit
And everyone clapped
Opening_Ad7004@reddit
Finally unbanned, thanks trolls for reporting me to the reddit G Men
MacTheVII@reddit
Went full Tyler Durden
ilovet0eatchildren@reddit
i call dibs on posting this again
Danzibar9000@reddit
Mom said it was my turn
jagfb@reddit
You're the youngest, stfu
Danzibar9000@reddit
I’m telling
lolotron5000@reddit
Go pick a switch for tattling
TruStoryz@reddit
Lol made a little search, turns out even I reposted this shit 5 years ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/p4doh9/anon_is_a_father/
Greatgg@reddit
Fake: anon had intercourse with a woman Gay: it was so traumatic he forgot
all_time_high@reddit
Cr1tikalMoist@reddit
Can u get prrrenganté
KoABori1661@reddit
I can still hear this video.
Fern-ando@reddit
When did anon finish uni? The timeline makes no sense.
LilBed023@reddit
Anon got drugged
scroopydog@reddit
Reverse Cosby
keker0t@reddit
I support this theory
Matt_32506@reddit
we reposting shit from 2021 now?
vickera@reddit
Yes. They went to school and had sex in 2021 and she just realized she was preggers.
tuenmuntherapist@reddit
OP is reverse Dale Gribble.
_BlANK19_@reddit
Anon must have been drunk
Sure_Association_991@reddit
Anon is a heavy drinker
romulusnr@reddit
or druggie
ledgeitpro@reddit
Honestly makes the most sense
BilleyBong@reddit
Anon did soaking
Positive_Action_5377@reddit
Virgin Anon gets a happy family out of no where and questions it. What a moron
QuinnAvery89@reddit
Renounce Vivec and join the sixth house.
intp-over-thinker@reddit
The Virgin Gary