ULPT: How to sneak in my girlfriend in my flat?

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CrissPDuck@reddit

You need to have an arrangement with an apartment with a single woman or single women in the building.

They bring in your female guests and you bring in their male guests.

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RapidEyeMovement@reddit

this is the answer, this doesn’t weird out the women either

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Turbulent-Break-4947@reddit

How to tell me you’ve not travelled much…. Without saying it out loud.

There are a stack of “conservative “ countries where this would be illegal. Parts of the Muslim world this could result in a death sentence…. Yep. Parts of non-Muslim Asia - illegal. For sure.

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HandshakeOfCO@reddit

Find someone in the apartment complex who's a single woman. Broker a trade - she lets "her friend" (your girl) in, you let "your friend" (her bf) in.

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Turbulent-Break-4947@reddit

I think he’s got other screwing on his mind

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No-Cook-534@reddit

Have her dress like a man. Make a whole character out of it and introduce him to the neighbors and everything. Could be the premise of a hit 80s sitcom.

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mschley2@reddit

Oh, can't wait for OP to be accused of being a gay man.

That's probably a way worse crime than sneaking in a woman.

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mschley2@reddit

I have this crazy feeling that Eritrea isn't celebrating that one, but it's worth a try.

(I obviously don't know which country OP is from. I'm just assuming that it's a country with a heavy religious authoritarian regime)

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abellaviola@reddit

Honestly I just had to Google Eritrea to make sure it was real and wasn't a Hunger Games type of place. (You both knowing that it exists and knowing its cultural norm is impressive!)

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mschley2@reddit

There's a lot of mostly-useless info stuck up there in my brain, but every now and then, something like this happens lol

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FluidBit4438@reddit

Like Bosom Buddies. Maybe ”Buddie’s Bosoms”

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Travel_Dreams@reddit

Buddy from college stopped by while looking for a job.

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chuna666@reddit

She ah rook rike a mahn

I'M JUST DOING HER VOICE PLS

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FaagenDazs@reddit

Ms. Swan please, do you know ANY more details

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CoyoteDown@reddit

Have her service the guards. Could be the premise of a hit 2020’s porn

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Large-Hamster-199@reddit

You would be shocked how many countries in today's world execute a woman for premarital sex.

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wireswires@reddit

How does one get caught having premarital sex in a locked house / flat. Yes I am assuming alfresco shagging is not on the agenda in this instance.

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The OP's post is pretty clear. The security guard will notice that a woman went up to the OP's apartment and didn't come down for a few hours or for the night. Once he notices, he's going to stop talking. That'll lead to severe consequences for the op and for the woman in question

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metalflygon08@reddit

So OP's wanting to risk their partner's life for 30 seconds of pleasure?

Yuck!

^^^/s

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I_stole_this_phone@reddit

30 seconds?! Damn dog you're fucking a marathon.

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metalflygon08@reddit

Im counting the foreplay.

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PadmesBabyDaddy@reddit

What’s that?

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metalflygon08@reddit

It's when she removes her clothing.

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SurfingFounder@reddit

What if she's your cleaner you've hired that visits weekly because your house is such a mess, and brings some cleaning equipment and prints out a business card in case the guards ask her what she's doing?

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Mitaslaksit@reddit

What in the 1800s is this. Can she be a delivery person?

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Vespasian79@reddit

Yeah I’m so confused what country could this be lol

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RadialRazer@reddit

This could be Utah. BYU student housing has these rules.

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AdhesiveMuffin@reddit

Sadly, there are a ton of countries this could be.

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dsandhu90@reddit

India

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Fuzzy_Yossarian@reddit

British..

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fgtrtdfgtrtdfgtrtd69@reddit

Oi m8, you got a loicense for that opposite gender to visit yer flat

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Vespasian79@reddit

I mean I agree flat seems to indicate that but wtf is he leaving where he don’t know this?

Only place like that in America is Christian universities lol

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zonazog@reddit

Is each floor segregated? Have a woman bring her in

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The_best_is_yet@reddit

dress her up as an old dude

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etwiDAB@reddit

Have her flash him. When he's distracted, run away.

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ghoti00@reddit

Just smuggle her in one part at a time and then reassemble her once all the parts are inside.

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Something_McGee@reddit

She could be your house cleaner.

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Striking-Walk-8243@reddit

Have her suck off the guard every few times she visits.

He’ll be locked into that partial schedule of reinforcement and won’t do anything that might risk the next NSA bj.

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Mister_Silk@reddit

Get one of those window ladders used for fires/emergencies and teach her how to climb.

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AblePhase@reddit

I think most people know the core basics of ladders

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LeadershipAble773@reddit

Even FEMALES?!

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AblePhase@reddit

When was the last time you saw a female climb a ladder??

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NotMalaysiaRichard@reddit

Sexy cop uniform

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Shivin302@reddit

Get a fake ID with your last name as hers and now she's your wife or your sister

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Undrwtrbsktwvr@reddit

Sounds like OP may live in a country where the consequences of being caught with a fake ID may be very severe.

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Shivin302@reddit

It seems like OP lives in India, where fake IDs are a laughing matter but premarital sex is the antichrist

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Undrwtrbsktwvr@reddit

Ah ok. Thanks for the clarification.

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createry_@reddit

He could be the best big brother.. she ever asked for..

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owowhatsthis--@reddit

I wish I didnt get this reference

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suh-dood@reddit

Step bro, what are we doing?

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NaughtyAudio@reddit

She was stuck!

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C0c0nut_Lime@reddit

gif

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ResidentRelevant13@reddit

Yes this is the easiest way. Hide in plain sight

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lo-lux@reddit

Groucho Marx glasses and a trench coat.

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KinkMountainMoney@reddit

Harpo Marx wig and a series of differently pitched horns.

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bcardin221@reddit

have her put on a high viz vest and carry a ladder in through the front door amd just walk right in.

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_hein_@reddit

Ah. Peak social engineering.

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Old-Party1952@reddit

An undefeated strat

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Bratchan@reddit

YOu might check your lease could be just a weird guard. Have your mom show up and give the guard hell for not allowing her in cause she wants to visit her son.

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blua95@reddit

What fucking country do you live in where you can't have a person of the opposite gender visit your apartment? lmao

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Truth_Speaker_001@reddit

A Muslim country

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NyneHelios@reddit

This is wild. Are you both adult aged in your country? Cause if so this is wild.

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andytagonist@reddit

This is a frivolous question. Why are you trying to sneak in the pizza delivery girl?? 🤣

Bonus—delivery porn! 👍

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ranwithoutscissors@reddit

Have her dress as a plumber or some other kind of service professional. Fake mustache optional.

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JayMoots@reddit

What kind of hellhole society has this rule?

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Primary_Gift_8719@reddit

Seems very shaky today with the whole trans movement recognition. What stops her dressing as a man and if challenged simply claiming she's male?

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TheGoochTaint@reddit

I imagine a country with rules like this aren't too accepting of transgender people

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Primary_Gift_8719@reddit

I wouldn't say so, take the US plenty of trans acceptance but also plenty of things like private religious universities that have rules like that one here. Society makes me wonder if this is some sort of Christian 'alms house' perhaps in the UK or Aus given the word flat.

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Barrettbuilt@reddit

Just wrap your fleshlight in dirty socks and put it in the bottom of your dirty laundry like the rest of us.

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ResidentRelevant13@reddit

She could be your regular house sitter, pet sitter, housekeeper, chef, nanny, personal assistant, etc. Or a relative? Someone who has a reason to go to your apartment frequently without drawing suspicion.

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ResidentRelevant13@reddit

The first time you bring her into the apartment talk loudly and act like you’ve just hired her and you’re taking her on a walkthrough of the apartment/building. And make sure she’s wearing something like obviously looks like a uniform or business professional

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ze11ez@reddit

this is the best way. A whole position created for them. create credentials.

If this doesn't work, get a female neighbor to invite her in. After awhile she should be able to just walk in like its normal

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sadlittleman1001@reddit

I'm guessing they made the rule bc the apartments have had hooker habitation in the past. The landlord just got tired of letting 8 dudes a day up to Flat 4B. Gives the building a rep.

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akiraokok@reddit

I know someone who used a large suitcase on wheels to sneak someone in.

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MrLB____@reddit

What if she is a larger woman?????

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moranya1@reddit

Get a bigger suitcase.

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kirby056@reddit

Couch box.

Couldn't resist with the Fat Vance thumbnail pic. "One way or another, I'm having sex with the contents of this box"

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moranya1@reddit

How did you guess the title of my autobiography!?!?!?

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CodyKyle@reddit

Get a wheelbarrow for the larger suitcase.

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Agerak@reddit

Two Weeks...

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AblePhase@reddit

Is that for a diet or to chop her up?

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Agerak@reddit

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-KFH--_cdiI
An old callback to another larger woman

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Affectionate-Ask5718@reddit

Larger suitcase

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punkwalrus@reddit

Some stage tech people I may or may not know for plausible deniability used to sneak their SOs via road cases/flight cases.

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24kdgolden@reddit

Sounds like the beginning of dark comedy.

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BullPropaganda@reddit

What the fuck. Are you in a mormon community or something?

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metalflygon08@reddit

Nah, if was a Mormon compound she'd be allowed as long as they only soak.

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Prior-Fall-7753@reddit

How does the guard know where she is going will he follow her? If not she can say she is going to a flat where a woman lives.

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TheGoochTaint@reddit

Put her in a big box on a wagon or a dolley

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Ok-Mission-3426@reddit

Slip the security guard some cash

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Vegetable_Ladder_752@reddit

India imposes rules on people who follow them. Go have a chat with the security guard, take something for him. Be confident, polite, give him your gift and money and tell him how much you appreciate him looking out for you and yours.

Make sure you bribe him well, and don't forget to do the diwali baksheeh and all of that. You treat the man well, he'll take care of you.

If neighbors are nosy, tell them it's your family and that your family has asked you to care for her which you are doing as "her elder brother". No one needs to know if you're her biological older brother, cousin, or even a family friend who's grown up with her and thinks of you as her older brother. Don't engage your neighbors more on this. Keep it at the surface level.

Sorry you're going through this! They're only bullying you because you're young and haven't found your confidence to flout bullshit rules like this.

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Yttric@reddit

Used to sneak friends past dorm guards in an XL suitcase. Just gotta make sure the person isn't claustrophobic, and the suitcase can handle the weight.

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SRod1706@reddit

Have her bring up a delivery that needs a signature.

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Woogabuttz@reddit

Doormen can sign for packages and that is one of their duties.

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ResidentRelevant13@reddit

She could be your regular house sitter, pet sitter, housekeeper, chef, nanny, personal assistant, etc. Or a relative? Someone who has a reason to go to your apartment frequently without drawing suspicion.

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breadad1969@reddit

Where do you live, 1950?

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Positive-System-8810@reddit

Gilt diese schwachsinnige Regelung nur nachts oder auch am Tag?

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127-0-0-1_Chef@reddit

gif

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HofstraJet@reddit

I miss Psych.

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dude-is-tired@reddit

Soup Can Sam?

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Responsible-Cow5828@reddit

Start be-friending one of the guards. Pick one and start giving them little treats. Be nice and greet them. Slip them some money or small “tips” every now and then. They will not “see” your companion.

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