21 M is it normal to feel like clubbing/ nights out are incredibly underwhelming to how people describe them?
Posted by Tortle_Boosh@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 107 comments
As someone who has just finished his final year in university I always found that I would come back from a night out disappointed and in some cases wishing I had just stayed home. I enjoy the music in some clubs but the people often ruin it. people getting aggressive, pushy and touchy might be how clubs just are but it just isn't for me. Is this normal? or am I missing something?
CharieRarie@reddit
I never enjoyed clubbing. Loud, sticky, overwhelming lights, and when I see my friends I want to talk to them! Some people love it, some don’t. Both are okay, just different strokes for different folks.
cvslfc123@reddit
I never really liked it either.
I hated the crowded bars and having to shout my order over the music.
And then at the end of the night you see blokes who failed to pull start fighting each other, the first time I went clubbing I counted 12 fights across the night.
Disastrous-Place-846@reddit
Have you tried taking ecstacy? That makes a big difference
jar_jar_LYNX@reddit
They might end up feeling like they are inside a giant Aero and get the infamous munchies though
neverend1ngcircles@reddit
He's taking it up! Enjoying how this reference has been missed by the two other comments.
Lopsided_Snower@reddit
lame
neverend1ngcircles@reddit
Too good for the quotes are we?
Lopsided_Snower@reddit
Too good for people dropping quotes out of context and others thinking they’re superior for knowing the reference, aye, makes me cringe
Lopsided_Snower@reddit
you get munchies from cannabis, ecstasy makes the idea of eating diabolical
IntrepidMaybe8579@reddit
😂 tastes like morning breath made into solid and put in some chemical flavoured buns
benoirdo@reddit
Not for everyone. Back in my raving days (late 90's), I would always eat something whilst gurning my chops off. Always amused me watching my mates spew their ring up watching me eat a burger.
ledu5@reddit
r/woooosh
CosmicRay42@reddit
A you imagine eating a chocolate bar in that state? Dear gods, no!
Wild-Individual6876@reddit
I’d strongly recommend not going there these days
AbeFromanOnFire@reddit
It really depends on the type of club. If you are going to a club because you and most other people there have a deep connection with the type of music, then that communal feeling and connection with others can feel almost spiritual and can be good for the soul.
If you are talking about a basic student night club with lads in rugby tops throwing beer over each other to a Capital Radio style soundtrack, then yes, clubs are utter dogshit.
IntrepidMaybe8579@reddit
Yup i reccomended raves definitely a lovey/ mutual goal of fun as opposed to a random night
IntrepidMaybe8579@reddit
Raves are a million times better.. never seem much drama or fights at all.. musics too loud so that helps😂 people at raves have planned specifically and are going to have fun and not necessarily like clubs where anyone just wonders in
Homeless_User32@reddit
Stay home . You are really not missing out on anything. Save your money for something you may need or shove it into a stock n shares ISA.
TheTjalian@reddit
Believe it or not, you can save money in an S&S ISA and spend money on recreational fun.
CosmicRay42@reddit
I’d say you must be fun at parties, but I guess you’re never there.
WastelandOfConfusion@reddit
God you know how to have fun don’t you.
OccasionOk3622@reddit
Honestly, there so many other ways to have fun. I've always enjoyed clubbing but then as i grew up the friends i gained also used to love the same things. But that because I wanted to find them, there so many other activities you will enjoy so much and find like minded people from - just keep trying things till it clicks one day.
emiliewarrendahmer@reddit
I’m a lot older now and in my ‘mum era’ but back when I was a teenager/young twenties I could only enjoy clubbing if I was off my face on drugs. It was just boring without…. Which is why I stopped clubbing (and drugs obviously)
fivecoloursgirl@reddit
I loved it until 20, then covid and graduation happened and now I’m not interested in going back
asjonesy99@reddit
What music do you listen to?
Just go to a club that caters to that.
I frequent an indie/alt club and love it whereas I imagine people who aren’t into that would think it’s shit.
evenifihateit@reddit
I used to love them and then suddenly one day I didn't any more
I think a lot of people don't enjoy that sort of night out and that's ok, we all like different things and what we like changes through life anyway
Mustimustdie@reddit
Am male, 36 yo. Never been to a single night club in my life. Didn't attend any parties at uni.
Not my cuppa tea
Mr_Bumcrest@reddit
Yes, clubbing is shit.
FreeBogwoppits@reddit
I never enjoyed going to nightclubs. I was always bored by about 10.30pm. I enjoyed gigs and seeing shows, but nightclubs were just expensive and boring.
Think_Money_6919@reddit
I don’t think I’ve ever even stepped foot in a club as early as 10:30pm
CosmicRay42@reddit
This guy clubs.
Think_Money_6919@reddit
Haha I’m confused by their comment tbh because don’t most actually open around 11, maybe 10 earliest?
CosmicRay42@reddit
Certainly not anywhere worth going to!
GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit
They're only fun if you're out looking for someone to have sex with.
There is absolutely no other reason for doing that to yourself.
Given that it's now easier to find people to fuck thanks to apps, there's even less reason to go.
Unique-Contract760@reddit
Spoken like a true Redditor, absolutely clueless about the real world...
GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit
Nah, not really. That's what everyone went clubbing for in the 90s and 00s.
CosmicRay42@reddit
That’s total bollocks. Clubbing in the 90s was an evolution from the acid house parties and raves of the late 80s. Before that, clubs were meat markets, full of tossers. But by the 90s, dance music had taken over, and the club scene was amazing. People were there for the music, the vibe, the communal experience. Did people cop off? Of course they did, but that wasn’t the motivation for going in the first place. Sadly, it appears that clubland has slipped backwards. I feel sorry for the younger generations who are missing out on all the incredible nights out that used to happen.
Wild-Individual6876@reddit
Indeed 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Unique-Contract760@reddit
It was also an environment you could go with your gf or bf and have a great night together which was previously unimaginable in the 80's meat markets.
CosmicRay42@reddit
Absolutely. No worries about twats being inappropriate and touching up the girls or starting fights, just everyone there for to have a great time. I miss those days very much.
Unique-Contract760@reddit
We have friends who live in the midlands(we live in Wiltshire) they run old school clubbing nights, they do a few events every year, just like the old days. We normally go to most of them. This is the next one.
CosmicRay42@reddit
Thanks for that, I appreciate it. Maybe I’ll see you there!
TechnoWellieBobs@reddit
You think this 21 year old is asking about clubbing in the 90s?
GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit
Has it really changed?
Wild-Individual6876@reddit
What a load of shite 😆 you’ve just not experienced the right type of clubbing my friend
GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit
I think I'd prefer an actual clubbing to going clubbing.
Wild-Individual6876@reddit
I travelled all over Europe in the 90’s and 00’s to watch certain DJ’s. Loads of festivals, club nights etc and I can honestly say none of it was ever in pursuit of a shag.
Unique-Contract760@reddit
I'm sure that could be arranged
GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit
Hehehe
Unique-Contract760@reddit
😉
RaspberryJammm@reddit
Some of us just like to dance!
The presumption that everybody is there to get laid isn't helpful, means that people think its ok to randomly grab your bum
TechnoWellieBobs@reddit
That's an incredibly small-minded take on nightlife
GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit
Small mind, big willy 🤷
TechnoWellieBobs@reddit
That never gets put to use
GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit
It did, back in the day.
VolcanicBear@reddit
Lmfao.
I used to love clubbing. Never went to try and get laid, went to party and get off my face.
I personally never understood people who went out with the goal of a one night stand.
GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit
Haha, shows how different we are!
BeneficialDonut3126@reddit
I'm also 21 and haven't been in a nightclub since I was 18. I'm more into pubs than clubs. I'd rather actually be able to talk to my mates than have to shout over some shitty modern remix of a 2010s party hit. I'd say most people in the UK grow out of clubbing in their early 20s anyway from my experience.
Major_Toe_6041@reddit
I’d much rather play video games with alcohol than sit at a table in a loud place playing music I probably don’t like with alcohol.
RaspberryJammm@reddit
Table? Thats your problem. Get dancing!
Eukonidor_Of_Arisia@reddit
Lemme guess... You went to clubs where alcohol is standard fayre?
Those kinds of clubs are indeed awful.
The 'clubbing' people talk so positively about are the venues where the only drink people order at the bar is water, or maybe Red Bull. These places are indeed like stepping into wonderland and will leave one with memories for a lifetime.
If you know what I mean.
CosmicRay42@reddit
Best nights out of your life, not a drop of booze consumed
maxc1999@reddit
Most people are doing drugs. Even the people you wouldn’t expect
BasisOk4268@reddit
51% of the country are not using recreational drugs lol
maxc1999@reddit
People who go the clubs are though
TehDragonGuy@reddit
Clubs, nah. Raves, yeah.
photism78@reddit
You'd be surprised.
IhaveaDoberman@reddit
Went to clubs a load . Lots of people were on drugs. Definitely not close to the majority, with the exceptions being in certain clubs/ rooms or events.
jasovanooo@reddit
Lol once you join the club you'll see it everywhere.
elmo298@reddit
Clubbing just fucking sucks now. It's a dying thing
heroics-delta8s@reddit
It was a different world, there was few other ways to meet the opposite sex. I hated every minute of them.
Excali20@reddit
I did enjoy clubs when I was 18 and 19 but now I’m 22 I can’t imagine a worse time mainly because I don’t drink anymore. I did used to enjoy them tho
NrthnLd75@reddit
Maybe you're going to the wrong clubs, but some people just aren't clubs of any kind people and that's fine too.
gettin-swole@reddit
Wasted much money, time, health and energy going out when I was younger. Wish I’d never bothered
FunkyYoghurt@reddit
These replies are wild. Who's clubbing at 10pm? Lots of people on drugs. No shit. They're dead. Yeah because it isn't 2009.
mimic@reddit
Try some goth or metal clubs. The people are there because they know and love the music, not just for somewhere to go. They’re generally far friendlier & if you’re into the music then you’ll have a way better time.
DrH1983@reddit
Nah, Ive found clubs generally a bit meh. Went to loads in my uni days due to peer pressure, but I always enjoyed the moments before getting to the club, and occasionally after leaving the club, more.
The actual time spent in the club was, looking back, just pretty tedious.
UnacceptableUse@reddit
No, it's not just you. It's just not something you enjoy and that's okay
greatdrams23@reddit
Just so the maths.
In my town there's one club. It's a great club. Everyone talks about it. It's on the news.
People comes from the surrounding towns. Some people come from hundreds of miles away. It has a 'catchment area' of a million people.
The club has a capacity of 1,000.
Out of my group of friends, when we were young I reckon each of us went there between 0 and 1 times in a decade.
Some people do clubs.
Some people do motor bikes.
Some people do sport.
Some people do going to music events or playing in rock bands or fishing or horses or church or pubs or cinema or art galleries or staying in watching TV or staying in listening to music/reading/cooking.
Some do more than one of these, but most people don't do clubs.
CrimpsShootsandRuns@reddit
Most of my fondest club memories from when I was in uni were either in the smoking area ignoring the clubbing aspect or a specific club night that played absolutely banging drum n' bass and dubstep.
Brickworkse@reddit
It depends where you go, but also who you go with. I used to frequent a goth/rock/indie/metal club in Swansea in the mid-late 2000s when I was between 15 to about 19.
Honestly, had some of the best nights of my life in that place. They had different rooms for the different music genres, so you could listen to what you like with like-minded people. They had a 'chill out' room where people would sit around, smoke and chat. The music was great, cheap drinks.
Made some great friends, and used to have a decent night out for like £20. I probably knew about a 1/4 of the people there at the peak.
On the other hand, this was the same time that massive clubs like 'Oceana' and Wind Street in Swansea were popular too, and for the most-part, any time I went to those places was a miserable experience.
It's still the same now. People will ask me to go to some dingy bar or club and it'll be loud, expensive and full of tossers.
I miss those days, didn't know how lucky I was 😂
farglegarble@reddit
Man i loved monkey bar when i was at university some of the best club nights of my life.
NipSlipExtreme@reddit
I went clubbing a lot during my uni years, mostly just cause it was what you just did when you were drinking. I outgrew them almost immediately after Uni. I thought they were great back then.
My wife and I went out with some friends a few months after our second child was born (so we were 28) and it felt like I was in a crèche. I think it’s a mostly under 25’s place and not something I can imagine enjoying anymore.
I’m 32 now and pleased to say I haven’t been in once since my daughter was a few months old, and she is now 4. I fully expect to be picking both my kids up from clubs in 10-15 years time rather than them paying for taxis with them both thinking that the clubs are awesome.
Belterhaze31@reddit
Yeah you’re missing something and it’s called cocaine
jasovanooo@reddit
Clubs are shit that's why.
The old mdma fuelled rave/club scene is gone and the coke fueled assholes fill the corporate clubs.
Go to proper gigs or festivals and see difference
WastelandOfConfusion@reddit
It’s Raving that you wanna do, not ‘Clubbing’.
sbaldrick33@reddit
Don't know if it's normal, but I usually did.
In fact by the time I was your age, the novelty had completely worn off and I'd basically stopped.
TheOrchidsAreAlright@reddit
Clubs aren't usually very fun for most people. The dream is the great experience with fun people, where you can be yourself, meet cool strangers, hear great music, not blow your whole paycheck. It's an extremely rare experience.
Unique-Contract760@reddit
lol, sweeping statement that's completely untrue, if clubs aren't any good how come people go to them every week ? And if that's your experience you're going to the wrong clubs.
TheOrchidsAreAlright@reddit
Which statement? Do most people go to clubs every week? Or is it a relatively small number of people aged about 18 to 40?
I used to go a bit, it was sometimes amazing. I preferred clubbing in some other countries (Germany and Taiwan for example). A lot of the clubs in the UK were not that good, I don't go any more.
Unique-Contract760@reddit
The "Clubs aren't usually fun for most people" statement of course most people don't go to clubs every week we are discussing the ones that do go to clubs surely ?
Things change it was easier to find a good clubbing night before because more people went clubbing, now you have to look harder but it's still a good night in the right place for most clubbers.
spidertattootim@reddit
They didn't say clubs aren't any good.
Milam1996@reddit
Clubbing nowadays is just shite. Back in the day you put your best clothes on, spent 4 hours getting ready, everyone went and got their hair done before and then you’d go out, get absolutely smashed, sweat like a pig on the dance floor then go home and wake up with 0 hangxiety. Now, people go clubbing in filthy trainers, ugly jeans or a shit top without a spit of makeup or hair done then nobody is doing crazy stuff on the dance floor cause some twat who peaked in year 9 will post you on snapchat. Instead everyone just sits down or stands around permanently on edge.
TL;DR games gone.
RandomUser22487@reddit
I’m not really a big drinker but whenever I’ve been to a nightclub I got bored after about 20 minutes.
Long_Wait_3078@reddit
29M and absolutely hated clubbing when I was your age and I think 90% of people do but don’t admit it.
From my experience, by the time you hit your mid 20’s most people are exhausted by clubs and much rather just sit in a pub or bar
TokyoMegatronics@reddit
Clubbing died after Covid.
Went out loads in our city pre Covid and it was always lovely, rarely any trouble that you noticed and queues to get in everywhere.
Went out maybe a year after Covid and it was dead. Tried to go out a few times after that and it’s still dead. This is Leicester so there are two universities here so every evening used to be heaving with students going out for drinks.
Ldiablohhhh@reddit
Completely depends on who you go with in my experience. I’ve been to some very highly rated places with the wrong crowd and had a shit time but conversely gone to some complete dives and had an immense time with a more fun group. For me the group of friends is way more important than the venue or music.
BumblebeeNo6356@reddit
I’m going to sound old, I still go to the occasional club but they’ve changed so much - you never used to get VIP areas or champagne, those people are ruining clubs. People used to go to clubs to listen to music, have a laugh and get off their head - not sit in an exclusive area.
grannysGarden@reddit
I’m in my 40s now but looking back on my ‘going out’ years I’d say 1/10 nights out was great, so much fun, had a brilliant time, felt wild and alive. 6/10 were just ok and 3/10 were shit. You’ll just never know before you go out!
Joshouken@reddit
Which clubs are you going to?
Different clubs have different vibes
Deviant-Oreo@reddit
I gave up on clubbing shortly around 19/20
It was garbagio.
You see the scummiest people that the movies highlight that make the truth madder than fiction.
But that's my opinion.
Desperate-Coat-8791@reddit
yeah clubs are shit. Find the music you like then go to gigs and specific events, rather than generic clubs. Or if you don't like it at all, then thats fine too
TechnoWellieBobs@reddit
Good answer - events & clubs with a focused aesthetic seem to attract better crowds where whole communities can evolve
Chinablue_@reddit
sounds like you are going to the wrong places. Work out what music does it for you, then find a good place. If you don't love the music, why would you love going out to it? If you love the music then there will be places out there that don't make you feel that way.
funkmachine7@reddit
Theres 3 reasions to go clubing, To get lucky To keep drinking And to dance.
But the first two have been replaced in the the last 20 years.
BulkyAccident@reddit
There's multiple different forms of clubbing here so you can't really judge everything by a couple of experiences.
If you're going to meat market mainstream student-y type places in the middle of town then yeah, they're generally going to be a mess.
If you're properly digging on something like Resident Advisor for underground-ish clubbing with decent DJs then these are still often absolutely incredible nights out if you do research on where to go and who to see.
Competitive_Pen7192@reddit
I always found clubbing cack and I'm in my 40s now.
Never saw the appeal or the magic of them like some did.
My favourite ever NYE before I had children was gaming online with a bunch of friends who didn't care for the countdown.