Title: Anyone else have birds obsessed with pooping on your car?

At first I thought I was dealing with the most accurate poop snipers in the animal kingdom. Every day, same spots down the side of my doors.

Then I caught them in the act — landing on the mirrors and window ledges, pecking at their reflection, and apparently turning my car into their personal bathroom and boxing gym.

Has anyone else dealt with these psychopathic poopers?

I’ve read about mirror covers, plastic bags, fake owls/snakes, reflective tape, sprays, decals, and the ultrasonic “sonic boom” type deterrents. From the reviews, it sounds like birds eventually adapt and return to their undeniable mission of pooping on the car.

Cleaning helps for about five minutes, then they come right back. I tried moving where I park and covering the mirrors, but then they moved to the windows and even the door handles.

Has humanity lost the battle to the feathered psychos, or is there an engineered solution that actually works long-term besides a full car cover?

I bought a nice car because I like the way it looks. Plus, it makes my brother jealous. I’d rather not keep it wrapped up like it’s in witness protection.

Any real-world fixes that worked without scratching paint, damaging trim, or hurting the birds? (yes I have a pellet gun - but I love the birds and hate their shat)