ULPT request: i want peace and quiet, kids are screeching and parents dgaf
Posted by auerya@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 94 comments
Before i get bashed for this, i understand that's how kids are. Yes they yell, they scream, they laugh loudly, they screech. But the issue comes when the parents do not discipline their kids or when they encourage them to be loud and obnoxious.
I often times hear and see the parents engaging in behaviour (yes playing) that makes the kids be even louder (chasing, growling at them etc). And if any kid happens to throw a tantrum or be excessively loud nothing is done, as i have heard even 40 minutes long toddler raging fits. this is not okay, this aint their house's backyard, it is a shared place so respect it.
What can i do in order to get some peace and quiet and deal with obnoxious parents who think their child is entitled to be as loud as it wants, at anyone's expense.
The place i am talking about is common property technically, it consists of 2 thin and long patches of grass, a parking lot, 2 small playgrounds (think 2 swings and a slide) and alleyways, it is shared space for an apartment complex. (and no, i cannot move because in my current financial situation i can only afford to stay in this place)
I am in a situation where i need to be very focused on my university work, in both writing the theoretical part and then making the project itself, it's very detailed work. I work best from home as i need 2 screens, and some days i have prior engagements (odd jobs, appointments, university classes) and i get home right about when most 9-5 employed people do. and that is exactly when they take their kids outside to play, right on the alleyways most of the time, not even the makeshift playgrounds.
My issue is that i cannot work on my thesis from 5-6 pm to 9-10 pm (aka when im most productive) because they are very loud. yes i shut all the windows, i played music, i put on headphones, they are just too loud i still hear them and i'd rather not deafen myself in the process. i have tried talking to the parents, and also other neighbours do not care as there are mostly families living in this residential complex and they are immune to kids yelling. they say kids they can act however they want and be as loud as they want, but if i decide to drill a hole in the wall to hang a painting, the whole groupchat of the complex blows up and i get everyone knocking at my door.
this issue will only get more annoying after i graduate, get a job (9-5 probably) and want to come home to unwind only to be met with banshee screeching. i have tried everything on my part to not hear the noise or not be annoyed by it.
Guys, i am in my early 20's, i do not want my "relaxing" time at home to constantly have a screeching soundtrack in the background, if i have kids of my own it will be later in life and i'll experience the screeching 24/7 either way then, i dont want it NOW. i want to enjoy my young adult life lol.
FalseDrive@reddit
play really offensive metal (or rap, but metal will get the point across quicker) music very loudly over a speaker. this will backfire initially (you have to deal with the noise) but might get them to stop, or at least get the parents to talk to you. also, do you have any third spaces (libraries, cafes, etc) where you can go for more quiet?
FISTED_BY_CHRIST@reddit
Just play My Neck, My Back on repeat from 5pm to sunset
ze11ez@reddit
Your neck? Your back? How about your cat?
MeatloafingAround@reddit
Or those sidewalk cracks
ze11ez@reddit
đ€Ł
Straight_Ace@reddit
Play Ram Ranch
CrimsonVexations@reddit
Had this happen with a couple that moved in next to us. They let their kid stomp up and down the stairs and scream constantly so I start playing Rammstein loud enough so I can't hear it. It usually stops soon after.
MurberBirb@reddit
This worked for us at a campground full of a Mormon family reunion. We were chill with all the kids but by 10pm we were not. So we put on the raunchy music, and wouldn't ya know it, the kids disappeared. Lol.
But_moooom@reddit
Kill karl is excellent for this purpose. Plus his songs are just plain fun!
thegooncity@reddit
Play the classics. OP should start a 2 Live Crew singalong until the kids know the lyrics by heart.
frankcountry@reddit
Tupac - Hit âem Up. Â Â Metallica - So fucking what. Â Â Anthrax - Starting up a posse. Â Â System of a down - Cigaro. Â Â Pantera - Fucking Hostile. Â
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Xx_DeadDays_xX@reddit
this is what I did when I was 15 and kids in my street wouldnt stop screaming right in front of my fucking house. not very many people on our street liked me lol
SlyRoundaboutWay@reddit
Set up a TV outside and play some cocomelon/blippi/video game streaming/YouTube brain rot on it. Â
Fuck them kids, they should be inside playing video games or playing tv. Not engaging in physical activity and play outside.
General_Parsley5057@reddit
Trust this guy - his username checks out đđŒ
aizoah@reddit
Hear me out: alternate YouTube brain rot with the Eric Andre show.
musicandsex@reddit
Holy FUCK DUDE if feel you 10000% i love right next to a normal middle of street park and i never could have IMAGINED the noise coming from that fucking place ive had raging fits...
Every fucking day from 7am to 9pm SCREECHING NON STOP IT JUST NEVER STOPS.
milksop_USA@reddit
Film them. Parents will take them somewhere else.
datajen@reddit
Donât do this.
MrJones-@reddit
earplugs
datajen@reddit
Why is this being downvoted??
Teleporting-Cat@reddit
You can order bulk insects from seed catalogs. Get something harmless but scary gross and annoying and flood the yard with bugs.
adz568@reddit
Someone needs to give this comment a award
Platitude_Platypus@reddit
This won't work. Kids LOVE bugs.
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
[removed]
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Caljerome@reddit
Earwigs are scary but pretty harmless
deferredmomentum@reddit
This might be the best suggestion Iâve ever seen on this sub
But_moooom@reddit
Yoink!
WatchingTellyNow@reddit
Spill syrup or sugar all over the ground in the alley. There will be LOTS of ants very soon. Or if you can get hold of old engine oil, they'll get it on their clothes, shoes, hands, everything and will trail that mess back into their apartment. Glitter (biodegradable though, please) sprinkled liberally will also get trailled back into their apartment. Dog poo would also work, though you'll need to plant it liberally and frequently, so you'd need to go and collect it yourself which would be tedious, but probably most effective. All best if they don't have to go past your door to get home, so you don't also have to walk in the mess in the corridors. And check that there aren't any security cameras that could catch you in the act.
sajaschi@reddit
Old engine oil is TOO unethical, let's not add severe environmental pollution to the mix!
What about red koolaid powder? Sprinkle it in the grass after dark, and the morning dew will turn it into very concentrated and nearly permanent dye. Plus it's cheaper and easier to get!
I_Want_A_Ribeye@reddit
loquedijoella@reddit
Used motor oil is toxic as fuck to little kids and youâre worried about biodegradable glitterâŠ..
men-with_ven@reddit
This about sums up your average redditor.
I_Want_A_Ribeye@reddit
Is used motor oil better for the environment than glitter?
perksofbeingcrafty@reddit
Do you know which families specifically? Do you know their apartment numbers and such? Because you can call the non-emergency police line or some other form of child protective services, and tell them you think these families are abusing/neglecting their kids.
Add in the stuff about their kids screaming for ages and embellish to your heartâs contentâ-really make it seem abusive or negligent parenting at best. Maybe sprinkle in some suspected drug use like âI donât know how they can stand it, maybe theyâre high or something and thatâs why theyâre not responding to their kidsâ
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youaretherevolution@reddit
You are not going to be able to change the behavior of the children or parents.
Therefore, find a combination of noise-canceling headphones (this is a specific, active technology that requires powered, over-ear headphones). Noise canceling and is not standard on most headphones. Add earplugs, and some focus sounds to remove the distraction. I do this.
The sound you play does not need to be loud-- especially when combined with over-ear, noise-canceling headphones and earplugs. This solution will not affect your hearing.
Haurassaurus@reddit
Foam ear plugs WITH over the ear noise canceling headphones on as well
ScenePuzzled@reddit
Exactly this. Amp up the defenses! Reposting my comment here too for visibility.
[Earplugs] Or foam, or any kind. Buy in bulk. Put them UNDER noise canceling headphones, make sure they are put in properly or they will not function as well as they could. Play brown/white noise through the noise canceling headphones, they should be over ear. On another device, play out loud more white/brown noise in the room. If you need, play concurrent songs in addition to the two levels of white/brown noise and earplugs to reduce the intrusion of the noises coming from outside. Finally, if there is any trouble, I find holding/playing with a spiky toy or (less healthily) piercing your skin with your nails helps reduce the amount of space the intrusive noise takes up in your mind since there is more sensory input. Sorry this was not unethical. Godspeed.
marriedwithchickens@reddit
I commiserate! I don't understand why parent let their kids scream constantly, and it doesn't seem to bother them. And they don't bother to teach their kids that it's inconsiderate to neighbors or others to make excessive noise. Parents and kids yell to each other as though they're blocks away from each other.
ellequin@reddit
Loop is useless. I recommend Flents foam earplugs.
ScenePuzzled@reddit
Or foam, or any kind. Buy in bulk. Put them UNDER noise canceling headphones, make sure they are put in properly or they will not function as well as they could. Play brown/white noise through the noise canceling headphones, they should be over ear. On another device, play out loud more white/brown noise in the room. If you need, play concurrent songs in addition to the two levels of white/brown noise and earplugs to reduce the intrusion of the noises coming from outside. Finally, if there is any trouble, I find holding/playing with a spiky toy or (less healthily) piercing your skin with your nails helps reduce the amount of space the intrusive noise takes up in your mind since there is more sensory input. Sorry this was not unethical. Godspeed.
bimpldat@reddit
macks silicone plugs
handicrappi@reddit
Loop is for when you want something cute, not something heavy duty
infectedsense@reddit
Happy Ears are the best plugs I've found
baconbitsy@reddit
Loop did not work at all for me. Wound up going to audiology and getting custom fit earplugs. OP might want to consider these as they are comfy and work very well.
But because this is supposed to be unethical, might I suggest flinging piss discs in the general direction of the humans annoying you?
isNoQueenOfEngland@reddit
Children playing outside in the common area during after school hours? I mean, how dare they!
Paevatar@reddit
I've noticed that parents let their kids make the most horrible ear-splitting screeches in public. They don't seem to care how their kids' behavior affects people around them. Too busy on their phones. I would have been sternly reprimanded, and if I kept doing it, made to stand in a corner.
When I was a kid in the 1960s, parents would come out and tell us to quiet down if we were being too noisy. Not just our own parents, but other kids' parents.
the-big-meowski@reddit
Play something that will teach them new words very loudly over your speakers out the window.
"7 dirty words" bit by George Carlin. Or "My Neck, My Back".
Watch The Trailer Park Boys movie or anything with tons of profanity sprinkled in. I believe there's even a documentary called Fuck.
The key here is the words must be clearly stated.
If they complain, tell them you can't hear the audio over the kids, so if they're quiet, you'll be quiet as well.
Paevatar@reddit
Perfect!
RogueStone@reddit
If you're a university student, then you definitely have access to quiet spaces with technology available. You're actually paying for it. You cannot expect people to be quiet for you in an apartment complex that isn't a designated quiet space or 55 and older community. This kind of falls in the basket of people who move in next to a train station and start whining about the sound and vibration that occurs next to a train station.
I'm not absolving some parents of their responsibilities concerning child rearing, some are absolutely terrible, but from what I'm reading here, you're expecting silence in a dense apartment complex.
Get good ear plugs/muffs, if that doesn't block out the sound, you're not going to and you need to consider finding an alternative locale.
queen_olestra@reddit
If those candies get wet, A) icky sticky mess, and B) attract lotsa ants. That would be a shame đ«
Zealousideal_Lime349@reddit
Ear plugs or library. Problem solved. You can also find a box to live in if you want absolute peace.
Peaches102179@reddit
Thereâs really no such thing as âshared propertyâ. Who owns it? Landlord? If itâs not you, Iâd move. Youâll never win this one.
MurberBirb@reddit
Drop hard candies in those back allies, once every few days. Make it a pain in the ass for those parents to be picking up those candies every time they go back there with their kids. They won't be allowing them back there. Or if the kids are dumb enough to eat candy (you know is safe) off the ground they won't be screaming.
Platitude_Platypus@reddit
This is a you problem. You can't stop people living their lives. Noise canceling headphones.
Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit
Get one of those mosquito machines that annoys young people.
BBorNot@reddit
You can get that sound on an app and use a Bluetooth speaker. The actual devices are expensive.
onebeautifulmesss@reddit
Yessss this is a good idea
FISTED_BY_CHRIST@reddit
Ooo thatâs actually a good one. Blast it on a speaker facing out the window. The parents will have no idea whatâs happening
ShiftySauce@reddit
Move.
Big_Sprinkles_482@reddit
But some ear muffs for yourself and also wear earplugs inside of that.
guyincognito1950@reddit
Noise cancelling headphones. Doesnât matter what you do - if the parents were able to keep the child quiet, they would. You making equally loud noise is just going to mean you have a loud (or worse) child and at least two adults that hate you.
guyincognito1950@reddit
All downvoting this advice (which is obviously what OP will end up doing anyway) and then suggesting absolute shite which OP wonât have the balls to do unless heâs genuinely mentally unwell, wouldnât work and would have the entire complex hating him. đ I know this is unethicallifeprotips but all the suggestions so far Iâve seen are absolute crap. Bugs? Playing metal? Even if that did put them off, unless youâre committed to playing metal every day for a year, which isnât great for uni work, theyâll just be back once youâve given up with it. Best case scenario is they get bored and stop using it but if the parents suspect youâre trying to fuck with them, theyâll probably persevere with it for longer
Silky_Rat@reddit
LMFAOO you think those parents give af about keeping their kids quiet?
guyincognito1950@reddit
Then what difference does it make?
Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit
This is the go to suggestion but they only work if you arenât that sensitive to noise.
jueidu@reddit
Orange cones and some caution tape. Some signs that say âSEEDING GRASS, DO NOT WALK ON TURF. $500 FINE.â
BrazilianButtCheeks@reddit
Get noise canceling headphones
gentleman_jane@reddit
Watch Best Neighbor Ever. It would be highly unethical to behave like that neighbor did for the same situation.
LemonVerbenaReina@reddit
Good noise canceling headphones should do the trick and seems a lot easier than doing something unethical where kids are involved.
Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit
They really donâtâŠ.
deathboyuk@reddit
I've had extremely varied success with noice cancelling tech. Better definitely costs more and I used to just assume the tech was crap before I tried a variety.
But we have a very similar situation where I live and my expensive pair + some nice relaxing drone sounds for masking... they get the job done.
(I use Sennheiser or Sony, over-ears, I've not yet found buds that do as good of a job)
infectedsense@reddit
Yeah, they will work IF you are listening to music thru them but not just as is, and not everyone can focus with music playing
medlilove@reddit
Stink bombs ?
Longjumping-Table-39@reddit
Spray the area with liquid ass.
Impossible-Cap-6433@reddit
Earplugs and/or noise canceling headphones.Â
Go elsewhere. Like to a library, that is supposed to be quiet.
You live in an apartment, with common spaces. There will be noise. Grow up and deal with it.
Oh, wait, unethical....
Piss disks?
MajorInsanity@reddit
Why does it have to be unethical in this case, can you just go tell them what you told us? Maybe they would make a little effort, like take the kids somewhere else.
CatSkylark@reddit
Thereâs a decent chance that they will either be ignored or the parents will tell OP that âkids are kidsâ and completely ignore the problem too.
vagrant-mountain@reddit
Probably depends on if there are cameras. If not, start leaving dead fish in and around the playground. Or fish emulsion. If youâre near water, itâs going to attract raccoons. If not, maybe possums or other carrion eaters. That might be enough to discourage people from going out there. Other option, depending on where you leave, is to transplant some poison ivy and place it by benches or other plays that are used but wonât be trampled or likely to be trimmed. Itâs annoying and sort of hard to get rid off. Only problem is that not everyone is allergic to it.
MeatloafingAround@reddit
Combine the ethical with a little not: buy some of the noise damping panels to hang on your wall. When you nail or drill them in and they complain, tell them thatâs the nature of a drill/hammer and you canât possibly help it.
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
[removed]
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
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R-Narfen@reddit
You know, that was a little harsh. Just go talk to them and tell them your story. If you came by my house, especially when all my children were screaming, Iâd hear you out. Iâd ask for parenting advice with a smug grin, but Iâd empathize with your situation.
DogsDucks@reddit
I have little kids now, but when I was in university, if I had a bunch of kids yelling outside my window all night while I was working on my thesis?
I wouldâve gone insane. INSANE! This is so tough because kids should be playing outside, itâs good for them, but at the same time . . .
If you explained this to me, I would just take my kids somewhere else to give you peace. Humans should be able to work together to help facilitate peaceful compromise. I love them, but kids are also annoying and loud and acting like theyrr not doesnât help anyone.
Suggestion:
-I do like Metal out of the speakers, make sure itâs got repeatable swear words.
-Plant some very realistic looking drugs in the courtyard area. You can get little glass bottles that look like Coke vials in the craft section of the dollar store. Put baking soda in them. Get altoids and paint them to look like MDMA, put in plastic bag. Get some old syringes and take the needles out. The kids will bring them and show the parents
-Put up pesticide warning signs
-BEES!
-Make a scavenger hunt for the kids and place little candies far away from where you are. Add a clue that doesnât make sense, but keeps them looking far away from you.
onthenextmaury@reddit
I love these suggestions, but coke vials aren't en vogue anymore. You can just buy a bunch of small baggies for a couple dollars from the head shop and insert white powder of your choosing. I love the hypodermic needle idea the most, but you don't have to get them used.
uneasy-chicken@reddit
Can you go to the library or similar to study? Or do it when they are at school?
Key-Candle8141@reddit
Paintball gun?
Prestigious-Ad-2070@reddit
kids playing. kids yelling, I can handle that shit just fine but I totally understand what you're saying because my neighbors in front of me have a daughter whose constantly screaming and it drives me insaneđđ€Ł
No_Possession3178@reddit
Ear plugs. Like the jackhammer operators wear. Follow the directions, you're supposed to roll them between your fingers, and then they like grow in your ears. And a big fan.
stabbingrabbit@reddit
Start sending the kids kazoos and bongos and cymbals to play with. Lego sets with one piece missing. Then buy some noise canceling headphones.
aspie_electrician@reddit
Get some blanks and a pistol and fire it off into the air near a window