Family reunions | TheaterFire

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Septotank@reddit

I suspect it died when social media became a thing and you could (unfortunately) immediately find out what your relatives were doing at any given moment.

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Funandgeeky@reddit

Same with class reunions. We no longer wonder what our classmates were up to. Now we know.

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Revolutionary_Gas551@reddit

We had 26 kinds in our class and ~18 showed up for our 25 year reunion. 🤷‍♂️

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Yeah i went to my 25 year reunion this year....my class was 121 students, 3 people showed up (myself and 2 others, one of whom actually works in the same school system we attended and has kids there lol). Between social media and the fact that I think a lot of people my age probably have kids who had sports on that same night, and they live far enough away that it would be difficult to make it a "quick trip" (lots of people moved out of state...a lot also moved just an hour away, myself included, but I don't have kids so all I had to do was take the day off work and drive down lol. Stopped to visit my parents too)

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ouijahead@reddit

Was the reunion awkward or did you have a good time

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Proof-Emergency-5441@reddit

Mine was around 70 for our class. 8 showed up- 6 of them still live there.

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Crash217@reddit

121! I was a single class with 120 people. My school had 1200 something people in my grade. Went to my 25 year reunion last fall and there was 60 people. Weirdly 90% of the guys I sat with at lunch every day were there despite us all having moved to every corner of the country over the past couple of decades. Was kind of funny. Same stories and jokes, now with beer.

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59apache01@reddit

Class of 97 here. We never had a single class reunion that I'm aware of. Next year will be 30 and I'm assuming there isn't going to be one.

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lastchance14@reddit

Now I know year round that I don’t want to hang out with them.

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username__0000@reddit

Yeah becoming an adult and realizing a lot of the adults from when you were a kid are not good or nice people was disappointing.

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More-Soil7455@reddit

I knew they weren’t nice people even when I was a kid lol

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Prize_Ad6430@reddit

👍🫡

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12ab34cd56ef78g@reddit

I I think you’re correct

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Infamous_Tie5605@reddit

yep, same as highschool reunions.

i can now see who got fat and/or went bald without leaving my house

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AetheriaInBeing@reddit

My father has been wanting to do one. his cousins were excited by it according to him and rattling off things they had offered to pitch in, but he had the idea mid lockdown... Then my nephew was born and things kept happening and he hasn't mentioned it since.

And now he tells me stories of what Mom tells him happened on Facebook with his cousins and how they're misusing religion and no longer the people he grew up with. I'm not sure he wants to see his cousins again.

Dad does not have social media. He knows what his cousins are doing through Mom, but I suspect he misses the big gatherings of his youth.

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FoppyRETURNS@reddit

Then the mystery was all over.

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AshDogBucket@reddit

Social media also means I get to know which relatives I actually really do not want in my life.

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lakatos_intolerant@reddit

Absolutely this. Even older generations that grew up before 1950 learned how to use social media and catch up with family.

I would say the Silent Generation really marks the end of placing importance on family reunions. None of my relatives born after 1945 has really pushed for these outside of a few exceptions.

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AgathaAllAlong@reddit

Yeah but then you end up not actually seeing them and instead clicking ❤️ once or twice a year when you come across their picture, if that.

For some that’s a benefit yes but for most that’s missed time with good people.

It was better before.

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MassiveMeatHammer@reddit

Social media really changed everything

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Honest_Tutor1451@reddit

Are you my cousin? This sounds exactly like my family reunions down to the bucket of KFC

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Fair-Flower6907@reddit

we had one a few years ago, but instead of everyone renting a cabin in the same park for a few days and hanging out we all met at my house (I had a new baby, and it was my grandmother's 96th birthday) and hung out for an afternoon eating snacks and taking photos with each other to post on social media. About 1/3 of the people had to fly in, the rest were local within a few hours drive.

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hiding-identity23@reddit

We had them most years throughout the late ‘80s and early ’90s, then they became much more sporadic. Last I remember was in ‘98. My grandmother passed the following year, and I know our more immediate family holidays completely fell apart soon after that.

For us, it was our grandmother and her brother and sister. Grandma and great aunts children and grandchildren, all local. Then it was my great uncle’s ex-wife (they kept a great relationship) and their kids and grandchildren from 2+ hours north. We alternated having it here or there.

In total when they ended, including current and former spouses/partners, there were 8 from my grandparents generation, about 25 from my mom’s, and at least 20 from mine that I can think of off the top of my head, probably more like 30 or so. That makes for >50 in attendance most years.

I miss it and am sad that it’s worked out that my kids really don’t know any extended family at all. Most of my grandparents’ kids pretty much turned out kooky in some way, and especially since my grandmother passed, we’ve had extremely limited contact with them and their kids and now their kids. It would’ve been so nice if my kids had a childhood experience more like mine was.

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gaymersky@reddit

I always hated them. When I became an adult in 1997. I found an excuse to never go to another one!! 😂

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n0exit@reddit

I had 20 years when I either wasn't told about them, or they didn't happen. My wife's family has them a lot more often, so I've already been to two or three of hers. I found out that in my family, my mom just didn't tell me or my sister. This year, we're going to one for the first time in a while, since my parents are hosting.

Funerals also seem to be a time for them, so that's been happening with increased frequency lately.

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That_Skirt7522@reddit

I’m having a family reunion this year.

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MostlyOrdinary@reddit

We still have one each year. It's possible it will go by the wayside when my mom/her siblings call it quits.

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SunshineInDetroit@reddit

in the 90’s

facebook. facebook happened.

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Hidingjimmy@reddit

My family has one every year, plus another every other year (different side of the family) both are a riot with good food and catching up. People come from states away to attend. Family reunions are not dead.

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kettyma8215@reddit

My dad's family still does them, though they are poorly attended these days. He had seven siblings and only has one brother and one sister still living, I suspect when the three of them pass no one else will care to do that anymore. In a way it's sad, but at the same time I really don't have a relationship with any of my cousins so it doesn't matter to me if I see them or not.

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Natural-Honeydew5950@reddit

We still do this - people with big backyards will host

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Scissorsguadalupe@reddit

Meh, I think we are realizing being related by blood doesn't really make us family, and we have more important things to focus on than getting together with people we don't normally associate with

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DapperRockerGeek@reddit

The area my mother is from was owned by her family, so to some extent, it was a bit like a family reunion. If I wanted to see an aunt or uncle, I merely had to go to the next house. Many relationships soured, so I don’t think they would want to see us.

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Tactically_Fat@reddit

In my respective families - the reunions died ~40+ years ago after certain family members passed away.

In another case, it was when one widowed family member got re-married.

I have loads of relatives that I literally don't have a clue who they are any more.

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AleciaG47@reddit

When I was growing up, we would have a family reunion weekend every August at a farm where my great-great grandfather (mom's side) grew up. I think his grandson or great-grandson owned it or something. On Saturday, we would have a potluck in the walk-out basement of the farm house. There were picnic tables set up in the yard. After the potluck, the older folks would sit around in rocking chairs in the screened-in porch and talk. Us kids would go to the barn and try to catch the feral cats, play in the hay, or we would get apples and feed the horses. Later in the afternoon, the men would make ice cream and they would have a dozen ice cream makers set up in the basement. The kind that you would have to manually crank. Sometimes the kids would help crank them. We would all enjoy the ice cream and then the owner of the farm would take us kids on a hayride. That night, we would camp in the backyard and have hot dogs and s'mores over the fire. The next morning, we would have a big breakfast with eggs and bacon and then say our goodbyes. I don't remember the last time we had a family reunion. My great-grandma died in 2000 and my grandpa died in 2019. My grandma is still alive at 95 and she could probably handle a small potluck at the farm but I think the guy that owned the farm died or is in bad health or something like that.

Once in a while, we would have a family reunion for my grandpa's side of the family at a state park. It would be a small potluck in the pavilion and then we would sit around in lawn chairs and talk. Kind of boring. The last one was a few years before covid and I'm pretty sure my grandpa wasn't even there because he was in a nursing home. Some of my cousins were there so it was nice to see them.

I don't remember any reunions for my dad's side of the family. My grandpa would hold a big party for his birthday every year where his brothers and sisters and cousins would come along with his kids and grandkids so I guess that would be like a family reunion. My grandma died in 2011 and my grandpa died in 2020 - 1 week after his 100th birthday. Yes, we had a big birthday bash for his 100th - it was a week before Covid shut everything down. It was like a reunion - my aunt & uncle from Texas came, my aunt & uncle from NC came and even my cousins from California and Florida showed up. That was the last time I saw any of them.

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Proof-Emergency-5441@reddit

Claiming all of our grandparents died in the 90s is a wild claim.

We did them regularly for quite a while. Covid kind of killed it, but also it was getting too big at that point and was time to splinter off into smaller groups.

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Sigyn775@reddit

My last grandparent passed this year at 102.

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EatLard@reddit

My great grandpa was still around until ‘01. My last grandparent passed in 2024.

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PetuniaPicklePepper@reddit

True, one died in the 60s and another on the 80s. 😅

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animus218@reddit

I still have one

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EricRShelton@reddit

Same here! She’s 103!

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animus218@reddit

My grandfather is 89! Still super healthy and independent too

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Separate-Relative-83@reddit

Me too

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PetuniaPicklePepper@reddit

Mine all died by the time I was ten years old. Old parent problems.

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SixStinkyFingers@reddit

My last one died in 1999 when I was 16 so yep, all of mine died in the 90s.

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GivesYouGrief@reddit

My last one died in the mid 00's but he made it to 96 years old.

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iliumada@reddit

Impressive!

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MommaOfManyCats@reddit

Mine actually held one during covid! 60+ people with probably a quarter over 50. They said it was fine because they were outside...and then posted dinner with the whole group in one room.

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AshDogBucket@reddit

My last 2 died in 2021-2022.

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lastminutealways@reddit

I lost my last grandparent in November. Her memorial is in a few weeks.

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big_sugi@reddit

One grandparent died in 1991, but the others were around until at least 2009. My last grandparent passed in 2014 at the age of 95.

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new_publius@reddit

Never had these.

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ElleAnn42@reddit

My mom has over 40 first cousins on her dad's side; he was one of 12 kids. They still do family reunions, but I have only gone once as an adult. I think the tradition will die with the last of those 40 cousins.

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Hairy_Mycologist_945@reddit

In my family they were common up until about 10 years ago, now it seems like extended family mainly gathers for funerals and the occasional one-off family event. There used to be two every year and it slowed down when some of the older family members died, and it turned out a lot of the younger people (anywhere from 30's-60s') don't like each other enough to keep it going regularly. The general awfulness of this past decade didn't help at all.

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tultommy@reddit

I sure do hopes o, those things were awful. I hated being introduced to a 100 people I didn't know and wasn't even sure how I was related and then expected to act like these were people that were important in my life lol.

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cranberries87@reddit

They still happen, but they’re not as well-attended, at least the ones in my family aren’t. I think social media plays a role, but also families are not as cohesive, and the economy is restricting travel for many.

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After_Preference_885@reddit

My partners eldest cousin always organizes them, but they're really religious so we never go

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fyrefly_faerie@reddit

I think my grandparents were the glue of the family and used to see each other regularly (helped that most of us lived locally). Once they died (my grandfather passed in 2013), it was only limited to like Thanksgiving and Christmas - even then with the kids growing up, moving away, and having families of their own, it became even less frequent.

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grandma-activities@reddit

We never had family reunions. Mostly everybody lived in the same area, and we just had regular get-togethers and cookouts and holiday meals (when the out-of-towners came home). Then my parents split up, and my dad's side of the family forgot I existed. By about 1992, I was hanging out exclusively with Mom's people.

But I imagine that social media killed off family reunions in much the same way that they killed off class reunions.

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Glendale0839@reddit

We had one in the mid 90s in a park pavilion that was organized by my now-deceased maternal grandparents. 50+ people there from that side of the family, but probably half of them have since passed away and most of the remainder either live far away or don’t talk to each other much anymore. Most of my mom’s generation in that family didn’t have kids either.

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Typically_Basically@reddit

My great aunt used to organize the reunion. She and my grandma wrote a letter to the “next generation” (her kids/ my mom and aunts), and basically said “I’m done planning and it’s your turn.” - we haven’t had a reunion since.

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FluffySpell@reddit

We never did them. But I think that's because as a pre-requisite the family has to actually like each other.

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EastTXJosh@reddit

Our family reunions were a lot like a Gaither Homecoming. There are a lot of Southern Gospel singers in my family. We would gather at a small country church in Arkansas and have a “singing.” Some of the more professional singers in our family would show up on their tour busses. It wasn’t exactly my scene or my type of music, but looking back on it it was a unique family experience.

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BuffaloRedshark@reddit

Part of my mom's side of the family still does one, at least until a couple of years ago, not 100% sure they still do. If they stopped it was recently.

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ItsNadrik@reddit

My mother's side of the family still does them. They'll reserve a park in the summer for a picnic, and then a church/fire hall in the winter for a Christmas party. I usually attend the picnic, but almost always have something else going on around the holidays.

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mramseyISU@reddit

My cousins still do one every August. I haven't been in a couple years but I live far enough away I do like to go see them at least once a year.

Class reunions on the other hand... fuck that.

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DirtyBirdDawg@reddit

My family still has one every single year. It has been going on since the 80s and there's no end in sight anytime soon.

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Appropriate-Food1757@reddit

I used to party with my country ass redneck distant cousins and it was a blast lol.

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FlyingClanker@reddit

My grandparents are still around. We had a family reunion two years ago. I fear our next one will be their funeral.

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ouijahead@reddit

Funerals are the family reunions we have in my family

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casdoodle527@reddit

My last grandparent has entered palliative care today. He’s 89 and a Vietnam vet…..end of an era for sure.

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Prize_Ad6430@reddit

I come from a large catholic family. They're all gone, no grandparents, no parents, no aunts or uncles. It feels strange to be one of the elders in the family now. And we haven't had a family reunion since our matriarch died in 2002.

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jacksonmills@reddit

Enjoy it while it lasts. After my grandparents died, those things happened less and less.

Not trying to be overly depressing but yeah, Christmases aren't anywhere near the same.

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onesleekrican@reddit

Just lost my aunt after our last Thanksgiving together and am going to her funeral Saturday. Enjoy the time you have, even if it’s hard.

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NotAnotherThing@reddit

My family only ever had one in the very late 80s

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WolvesandTigers45@reddit

Hell, I remember having Christmas at my grandmothers house with some of the cousins. The rest would come later.

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ooo-ooo-oooyea@reddit

They're called weddings!

We also have them for major birthdays. These are like the olympics and every couple of years. Extended family goes from NYC to Seattle so its a pretty complicated ordeal.

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Think-Rush8206@reddit

After my grandmother died the annual reunions stopped. We had a reunion with the cousins last year but it wasn't near as big as the old days. No plans to have one this year.

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Philhughes_85@reddit

They aren’t really a big thing in the UK and in glad for that.

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swosei12@reddit

I think in some families, a lot of us didn’t/could carry the torch (or maybe refused the torch) for planning.

A long rant bc I was recently thinking about this the other day.

Back in the day, we would have huge reunions every 2 yrs in FL, VA DC or MA. I remember there was a whole planning committee of sorts where the branch of the family from hosting city would make a bid on why the reunion should be held in city X, eg sufficient/affordable lodging; things to keep adults, young adults, teens, kids entertained; a nice place to have the final dinner & talent show. Looking back, I have to give the elders a lot of credit bc they were planning all of this stuff before the internet.

To cut our generation a little slack, life has changed significantly. In my case, I was still in school until my late 20s, then spent time building my professional life. Whereas back then, our folks were starting families in their mid 20s.

Also, there was more of a work/life balance back then. When you were off of work, you were OFF. Now, it feels like even when you’re technically off of work, you’re still doing work related things like catching up on emails. So, planning something like a family reunion feels like a 2nd job or even a 3rd job bc your still have to deal with your individual family unit especially if you have kids that are involved in 80 million activities.

Finally, the concept of the family unit has changed. Taking the family reunion out of the picture. Almost every Sunday, we’d have a big dinner at someone’s house. Nowadays, these don’t really happen has much.

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Hairy_Ad4969@reddit

I had this exact experience many times growing up. Right down to the 90 minute drive and the bucket of KFC. Are you my cousin???

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Plastic_Access_6470@reddit (OP)

Lol, cousin? This was Indiana.

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CaterpillarKey7485@reddit

Can only speak for my family, but our generation isnt going to "smile and be polite" to the pedophiles to keep our parents happy anymore. Found family > birth family

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Secret_Elevator17@reddit

My family had one about a decade ago and apparently a second one is being planned.

My husband's had a few they kept saying would be the last and we went 3-4 years but then it got too hard for a lot of the older members to travel so there hasn't been ones since.

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EatLard@reddit

We still have one every two years with 50-80 people showing up. I have family all over the place, and the reunion is always close to whoever gets stuck planning it that year. Usually beaches, mountains, or a city.

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thatleftturnatABQ@reddit

Ummmmm, attending my family’s reunion next week.

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WendyPortledge@reddit

My one friend’s family has family reunions every year, but they have a giant family. I had another friend with a big family and they did too, though never called it that. It was just a gathering.

I don’t know many with big families. Like, we didn’t have extended family to reunion with.

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Genepoolperfect@reddit

We still do this every year. I think we're on year 28 or something. My dad's cousin handles all the invites. Standing reunion is last Saturday in July. Cousins come in to NY from Colorado, S Carolina & Texas. One Aunt brings her whole ancestry.com researched family tree. It's nice.

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Diesel07012012@reddit

My maternal grandmother's family still does this, but but it is 99% attended by boomers only.

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MillerTime_9184@reddit

My cousins organized one this summer because we’ve lost a few uncles now and realized we inly see each other at funerals now and we need to change that.

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FoppyRETURNS@reddit

It seemed like when I came along the big unbreakable Italian family" was all mad at each other and stopped seeing each other. I heard all the best times were before the 80s.

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Dickrubin14094@reddit

In my case it’s dying with my generation… well, not dying, it’s just as strong as ever. I’m not planning on driving 4 hours each way to see extended family once per year.

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Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit

I have four family reunions I'm on the guest list for, and I've already co-hosted one with my husband. Matching tee shirts, spades tournaments, and secret summer Santas are still going strong for us!

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Gian_Luck_Pickerd@reddit

I only remember one family reunion that wasn't a wedding, funeral or someone's milestone birthday. But most of my extended family all lived somewhat near each other anyway.

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Quiet_Entertainer982@reddit

I miss having family for reunions 😭

But, I don't think they have gone away. Families that I know (but am not directly related to) that used to have them still do.

Maybe not as many new generations are? I can't say because I don't have friends in that demographic. However, the old peeps that I knew that had them still do

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Jr5309@reddit

My maternal great grandma was one of 9 kids. Every 3 years, we still do a reunion. It’s around 300 people. We rent out the park, baseball field, horseshoe pits, and take over the bar on site.

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WhoDatLadyBear@reddit

We do one every July. Used to be a lot bigger. When my great Grandma was alive we'd meet up with her siblings and their offspring. My great grandma had 12 kids herself so, yeah state park. Now it's just the rest of the 12 and their families. Well, those that travel back to Seattle from Hawaii, Florida, Missouri, etc. Unfortunately, I don't see it continuing past my mom's generation passing.

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MetaverseLiz@reddit

My partner's family has reunions but with his cousins scattered to the wind, I don't see it being a yearly thing now that grandparents and parents are passing.

My family was too fucked up to have reunions. I also get excluded from family activities for some reason I've never been able to explain, so I have just stopped caring.

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Tygie19@reddit

My grandparents were all gone by 2007. I see the extended family about every 2 to 3 years now. We all know what we’re up to through social media of course.

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MommaOfManyCats@reddit

Not in mine. I don't go because it's too much and too expensive. It's always Friday to Sunday, and a lot will go down a few days early and/or stay a few days later. One year, the cost for two nights and gas to get there was 1k for two people! The place they're going this year? Cheapest option was $175 a night and 7 hours from me.

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MMMDowntownMMM@reddit

My family still has a reunion every year. It’s usually a week long thing and we go camping together- and then one of the weekend days we have the big get together meal, have kids games, play baseball and volleyball and always do a white elephant sale, too.

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Ice_Solid@reddit

I have my family reunion this year. What I am seeing is that is happening for my generation is travel expenses and employment issues with taking vacations.

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Standard_Pizza_7513@reddit

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, but even if it were still a thing, I don’t think I know nearly enough contact information to be the one to plan it.

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tc_cad@reddit

Last family reunion was in 2005 for my Great Grandmother’s 90th birthday. About 100 people there were direct descendants of her. She had 15, those 15 had 50, those 50 had well…I don’t actually know, the family tree is in need of updating, but the count at the time was 54. I’ve since heard of several more but I’ve never met any of them. Time for another reunion.

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PaleoSpeedwagon@reddit

My parents' generation would all rather not hang out with their siblings.

One of my parents comes from a large family and they grew up POOR as the children of people whose childhood was the Great Depression. Our family reunions on that side basically stopped when Grandma died.

Grandma basically single-mommed a group of six small children while Granddad came home from WWII to find any work he could. These kids' childhood was filled with an overwhelming sense of insecurity and lack, constantly jockeying for affection and attention. It's no wonder that they have no sense of nostalgia for the years they spent together.

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notacleverruse@reddit

My family on my mom’s mom’s side still has them twice a year. One locally to where most of the family settled, and one at the family farm that my great grandpa owned. He built the house there and it’s still owned within the family. Our family cemetery is there on the property (where I plan to be buried). It’s really lovely. I take my kids to play there with their cousins where I did, and my mom did. I feel super fortunate.

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59apache01@reddit

All of our reunions and holidays were led by the World War II generation family members, all of whom are no longer with us. When the last one of them passed away, it's like all of the cousins scattered to the four corners of the Earth, never to be heard from again.

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jenbenfoo@reddit

I went to a family reunion last summer. I am friends with most of my closest family (aunts, uncles, cousins) on social media but not many beyond that, and I feel like it was more for the "adults" than the "kids" (by adults I mean my mom and her siblings & cousins, and by kids I mean myself and my cousins, lol) my brother came with his family, which was nice because then the extended family could meet his kids, and they could meet more of our family too (my nieces hit it off with my "cousin's" kiddo who is close in age to them...I say "cousin" bc technically she's my mom's cousin but she's my age; my great aunt & uncle adopted her when she was very young, and all their other kids were already grown)

I liked it. I like seeing extended family members and catching up. I miss how big they were when I was younger, though...my grandparents were still alive, playing games with my cousins and second cousins, (re)introducing myself to people by saying "oh yeah I'm A & J's granddaughter, M's daughter"...we used to have them in a park, or outside at someone's farm bc they had a big yard; last year it was just at someone's house (granted its a big house bc they've got lots of kids and grandkids, but still small compared to a park). But it was at a farm and my nephew (2 at the time) had tons of fun exploring the barns and walking through the cornfield, and he got to see a big truck, and he got to sit on a tractor- most exciting day of his little life!

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AshDogBucket@reddit

My mom's side of the family had big reunions. We would all travel from all over the country to get together for a whole week, with one big event. We had our own catholic mass for the event and then a massive party with tons of people. My mom's mom was one of like 7 kids and they all had a ton of kids so there were always a lot of us.

On my dad's side... most of them lived in the same area so there weren't formal family reunions. When the out-of-town relatives occasionally came to town, we would have a big party but we never called it a family reunion.

Imo in our generation it isn't uncommon for people to cut off abusive family members/ remove ourselves from unhealthy systems/ be ok with not doing things we don't want to. I think these relate to the trend of less family reunions. We get together with the parts of our families that we want to, when we want to... the idea of creating an event that people are obligated to go to simply because they're related? Not really in line with who we are, imo.

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MzChrome@reddit

I have one side of my family that still does them annually and the other stopped just a couple of years ago because people slowly trickled away from showing up.

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dearjuliet82@reddit

I had wealthy grandparents and we did a big one every 3 years. The last was in 2021. Last of the grandparents died 4 years ago. His bloodsucker children have fought endlessly about the estate, even getting lawyers to deny my grandparents’ wishes and I can’t imagine they’d come together to fund another reunion. The cousins have all discussed doing one, but, for the most part, we’re middle class and can’t really afford to pay or all take time off together anymore. It sucks. Those are some of my best memories with that side of the family. F’ing greedy boomers even stole their own kids inheritances right in front of us. I guess the wedding of the cousins and maybe baby showers will be the new reunion. Hurts my heart. The only legacy they wanted to leave behind was family. I’m not bitter, can you tell…

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x3nic@reddit

We used to do one every 5 years, always at the same place, usually 100+ people. The last one was in 2005, while there's been some deaths among the oldest generation and social media, I'm not entirely sure what killed it.

There's been talks the past 10 years about having another, but it hasn't happened.

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MountainTomato9292@reddit

My family has never done this in my whole life (nearly 50 years). My husband’s family had one 2 years ago. I think this is very dependent on family.

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Torkin@reddit

My family has done reunions every other year since the 80s. Different city each time. Headed to Portland this summer

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BleechInYourEye@reddit

Are you in my family? This is literally what we did down to the KFC.

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Mia_Belle_V@reddit

My family still does it every few years. Both sides of my family, actually. But its always in the summer and outside, so I skip it.

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Inner-Salt-2688@reddit

We'd do this only on a rare occasion. About a handful of yimes.

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ferminriii@reddit

That's where you get your first kiss. I mean... Not me. But some people did. Some people who are not me.

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HarryBalsagna1776@reddit

I think what happens is they become too big over time and they just become too burdensome to organize and host. When our grandparents started them, they were calling together their siblings and their kids. It became harder to manage when it because their kids and all their families. Third generation out, there are just too many people. We could start the cycle over with our smaller families.

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thegtargaryen@reddit

My maternal grandfather’s family has a huge reunion every year going back more than 60 years, except for 2020 due to Covid restrictions.

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Practical_Wind_1917@reddit

We had one back in early to mid 2010’s on my moms side. Met a lot of family I didn’t even know I had. No one else has had one since.

In the 90’s we did one on my dad’s side. Cousin was big into computers and posted stuff on a blog or something. Ended up connecting with family from Austria that has no idea what happened to their great great great uncle after he moved to America.

I wish more people would do them but all my family has died out

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krillthemalll@reddit

Who wants to hang out with MAGA family members that wish death on people like me?

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Starscream147@reddit

Maybe 16? I remember one then. 50 now.

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Tribblehappy@reddit

My dad boats one every year but most years I can't make it. It's a 11 hour drive. I always want to go, but unfortunately I only make it every few years.

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waveydavey321@reddit

Family reunions were a big part of my childhood too. Pretty much just as you described it. I'm sure social media has a ton to do with its downfall but it's also that our parents and grandparents were the ones to put these things together. I'm sure there are some families who actually passed the torch to keep their reunions going.

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EmmalouEsq@reddit

My family still has one every 2 years at the same campground for decades. We rent out the whole campground and do lawn games, boating, potlucks, update genealogy stuff, raffles, and a crazy night playing spoons and singing karaoke.

It's my paternal grandma's family. She was one of 6 kids. So their decendants come. And, at least in my grandma's line, we're now welcoming her great great grandkids. And my grandma had 7 kids. Just her group has almost 100 people.

I doubt it'll keep going after my generation is gone.

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hinault81@reddit

We do it more than ever. Once a year, all get together somewhere, often camping. It's a blast.

Didnt really do it growing up.

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mcfetrja@reddit

Last one would have been for grandfather’s 85th birthday party. That was 2015? Safe to say it will never happen again. My mom, who was the driving effort behind the party for over a year, felt that it was too much effort for not enough appreciation from the rest of the family. She is in fact the middle child and oldest daughter. Yeah. Never again.

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sassooal@reddit

We have a reunion Every.Single.Year.

I still can't believe when people in my generation don't know any second cousins.

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Ditzy_Davros@reddit

Supposedly my family had these huge reunions back in the 70s, and I mean hundreds of people. I think they stopped whe my great grandmother passed. I missed out on those. Always such a bummer I would have loved to meet all those people.

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mstermind@reddit

My family has always been so fragmented that I've actually never been to a family reunion.

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CottaBird@reddit

I’ve always loved family reunions. I have a big extended family, and I’m fairly certain I’m closer to my second cousins (my parents’ cousins’ kids) and their kids (second cousins once removed) than most people. We have a family photo from 20 years ago of everyone with my great grandmother and all her offspring, over 80 of us.

I love this stuff, so I hope my family keeps it up. Family reunions are why I’m so close to my mom’s late cousin’s husband and their kids. We have different belief systems, but we all have the approach of family is family and we love each other, and I really appreciate that.

One of my second cousins usually arranges something every year, and I always try to go.

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MeatPopsicle10@reddit

We’ve had a family reunion every 2 years since ‘74 (except 2020 but we started back up in 2021 so now we’re on odd numbers).

Every other reunion we alternated west coast USA then east coast USA and rotated between 7 different states.

The host family had to provide mugs & T-shirts for everyone who wanted them; I chose to buy a mug & t-shirt every time and still have my collection.

It only lasted 1 long weekend every other summer but I loved every minute. They were like being part of the coolest group of friends who went on a crazy adventure for the weekend.

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mrs_snrub67@reddit

I think we're the generation that's supposed to be making it happen now. But Capitalism has ensured that we don't have the home/space to host, and whatever elders that are still living, are also still workkng into their 70s and 80s. They're too tired to host. And can't afford the groceries to feed a family reunion. Also, who has the PTO, or gas money to travel to a family reunion?

CAPITALISM KILLED THE FAMILY REUNION, and everything else

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Effective-Ladder9459@reddit

We have one coming up in July for my mom's generation. All the cousins and their kids, and their kids. Should be fun. And I actually mean that.

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onesleekrican@reddit

Yeah our 4th of July and thanksgiving gatherings are a blast. Our generation had to take the reins and make it happen.

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Effective-Ladder9459@reddit

My grandparents are both in their 90s, so they are not able to join us for this one.

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onesleekrican@reddit

Definitely make it a point to see them if you can. I’ve never had a family member live beyond their 50s or 60s, after the 80s. So I imagine I’m only a decade or two away from my demise as well which lends to my being so invested in making it happen every year.

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Effective-Ladder9459@reddit

We got to have all immediate family last August for my grandfather's 90th. First time in almost 20 years that all 5 grandsons were together.

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Far-Bumblebee-7216@reddit

I mean it especially died around 2016 when our relatives pulled off their masks and showed their nasty, racist, misogynistic selves in the light of day…nobody wants to be around that. And then COVID amplified the ugliness.

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Crafty_Original_7349@reddit

My last family reunion was in the early 80s. We’re not a very close family and I don’t know most of them (almost none on my mom’s side). The few people I did know are all dead now.

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latcady@reddit

My husband has a large family and so we have a family reunion every year.

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Hot-Gift-3318@reddit

My husband's side used to do one every year at Labor Day. His great-aunt (who hosted everyone at her house for the weekend) passed and no one kept it going. The cousin that was very sentimental and would have been the next to pick it up has also passed so the families have just kind of scattered. My side....my mom passed, we don't see her family and my dad's side is all over the country. Social media really has had a hand in keeping everyone at arm's length.

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drewbaccaAWD@reddit

My mom's mom had six kids, both of my grandparents parents had larger families still. I think that make reunions more useful. And even with that, only my mom's side had big reunions, my dad's side never did outside of something like a 50th wedding anniversary or some other milestone, granted someone in the family wanted to do the planning for it.

Meanwhile I have two siblings, only one out of the three of us even had kids. There's just not much point to it. We see each other regularly enough anyway.

That said... we still have open invite parties once or twice each year for anyone who wants to show up. Lots of cousins tend to pop up if they are free but it's a rotating cast.

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GenericDave65@reddit

We’ve had a family reunion every Memorial Day weekend since the mid 80’s. My dad is the youngest of 12 though so it’s a big family. There are 36 first cousins and we are all pretty close. The challenge now is keeping the next generation knowing each other.

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lakatos_intolerant@reddit

I mostly stopped attending family reunions by the time I was 25. In addition to moving far away, a lot of extended family members to whom I was fairly close have passed on, moved far away as well or we simply do not have enough in common to get together. It's really hard enough to see my sisters and their families, and I am pretty busy with my own children. It's one aspect of life that is not fun, though my mom forewarned me years ago that it's super common and often inevitable.

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VenomousVenting@reddit

My parents held one every year at our house for many years. When the grandparents and their siblings passed away, my parents would did stop, but it had more to do with paying for everything and certain family units never really saying if they were coming or not. Sometimes they would show; sometimes they would not.

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lakatos_intolerant@reddit

Yeah this checks out. Once the grandparents and their siblings go (depending on how close they are), the family reunions/holiday gatherings typically dissipate. I think many felt compelled to do it for the older generations, while there is generally a shared understanding across Boomers and younger generations that they simply are not worth the $$$ or hassle when many people live far away and there is not enough of a compelling reason to get together.

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marihada@reddit

I think people moving around more did some to kill it. The only one I even went to where my parents had cousins there, we had to get on a plane. Now one side of my family gets all of my cousins and aunts and uncles together every other year for thanksgiving - as people keep getting married and having kids, and the family gets bigger, I wonder for how long we’ll be able to keep doing that.

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lakatos_intolerant@reddit

Yeah I came here to say this. People are a lot farther apart now/move around far more than they did 30+ years ago. I have extended family spread across the country and the majority of them (on both sides) have each been seen once in the past 5 years. I am not sure when I will see a lot of them again. Sadly, funerals typically act as the main reason for get-togethers across different generations at a certain point, and even then they can often act as the last time people get together (depending on the loved one lost).

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Senn-66@reddit

Yes, I have great memories of doing them (on both sides of the family) but they died out when my grandparents generation died and their kids (the boomers) couldn’t be bothered to give a shit. I guess our generation could try, but we’ve got kids snd other responsibilities, this was always the seniors thing and none of them want to do shit.

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onesleekrican@reddit

The kids are the reason we took over. We wanted them to know eachother as well as we we knew eachother due to those gatherings. Good luck. It’s not easy to start but so worth it to enjoy and maintain.

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OnePingOnlyVasili@reddit

I’m going to my wife’s side family reunion in a few weeks. Before that, we did it 14 years prior. I hardly know anyone on my side.

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CIAMom420@reddit

I got a reunion invitation for my mom’s side in the mail today. I do not recognize the name of the sender or how they got my address.

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eyelers@reddit

I have one in 2 weeks. We lost a lot of our “heavy hitters” and the xennials have wanted to get together because we keep meeting only at funerals

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onesleekrican@reddit

Exactly we wanted our kids to be as close as we are because of how close we always were.

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elphaba00@reddit

My dad's side of the family had a family reunion every year around Labor Day with my grandma and her siblings and their families. Even everyone who had moved away would make time to drive back. I remember the Labor Day after my grandma died (1998). My parents and I ended up sitting at a table by ourselves. No one else in the family approached us. My grandma's siblings were all busy with their own families. We ate our meal and then just picked up and left. After that, my dad didn't come out and say it, but we were just done.

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SheShouldGo@reddit

The last big reunion I went to was in the late 90s. That's when my Great Grandmother's siblings started to pass, and they were really the anchor for the large reunions. Then it shrank down to the different branches having smaller gatherings, usually around holidays. Once my grandmother's gen started to go in the mid 2010s, big family gatherings stopped.

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Smurfblossom@reddit

My family never did these but I know plenty of people who do them every year.

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Lady_of_the_Shadows_@reddit

Nope. My dad's side had ours back at the beginning of October at a local state park like we do every year, except for in 2024 after Hurricane Helene flooded the state park we have it at.

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katiw46@reddit

We combo our family reunion with Easter every year. It works out and I think the turnout ends up being higher because of the holiday

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MADDOGCA@reddit

Last reunion I went to was in 2018. Ended up turning into a Jerry Springfield session and I dipped.

They're going to have another one this summer. I'm good.

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onesleekrican@reddit

We still do annuals but it’s because we recognized the difference between our childhoods together and our children who barely knew eachother as we live spread out along the coast. We started the annuals after I lost my last sibling, mother before that, and said I needed my kids to have more family than me.

We do 4th of July with one side of the family and Thanksgiving with the other side. All of our kids are close now and communicate organically year round now too.

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16Shells@reddit

80% of my family is dead now so family fathers are max a dozen people. my parents & sister, two cousins, their kids and a single aunt and uncle. we’ll do the usual christmas and maybe a bbq in the summer but that’s it. there’s a third-cousin that appears once a decade too.

the big gathers were at the grandparents place and had all their brothers and sisters and their kids come out, but once the grandparents passed in the 00s that ended.

kinda sucks.

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MinusGovernment@reddit

We still have them on my mom's side every couple years "destination" type vacation family gatherings.

My dad's side has a smaller one every year in a small country church event room a few miles outside of the small town he grew up in.

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Happy_Confection90@reddit

My family never had any, and I've never heard anyone say they're ever been to one, so I've always had the impression that they've never been especially popular.

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Uztta@reddit

We still have one with my fathers side of the family. His father had three brothers. They’re all gone now so it’s more a cousins and second cousins (and third cousins even) reunion.

We’ve always done a long weekend at a lake, usually renting a huge space where everyone can kind of stay together. Lots of card and domino games, cooking, drinking, watching games, and looking at old photos.

I’m 45 for reference, my dad is around 70. The ages of people there vary from nearly 80 down to 11.

It probably helps that most of us still live in the same region, even though we don’t all live in the same states, I think everyone is under an 8 hour drive, most are much less, and only two so far that they’d have to fly to get there.

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Character_Bend_5824@reddit

It started as my great grandfather's birthday party. He died in the late '80s. Then my grandparents and their siblings, and by extension, my mom's cousins and so we were just the latest kids playing mostly with our own cousins with brief introductions to our great aunts and uncles we never actually really got to know. Then, the drifting began amongst our own cousins as they departed to different sociopolitical circles. Now, I really only know one aunt and uncle and cousin and his wife and kids (really only one of his kids). We had a really big reunion about 3 years ago. I became so dissolusioned at greeting about 100 people I should know but hadn't bothered to know for about two decades. And so, I tried to fake it but kind of settled upon not getting to know them.

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PilotC150@reddit

My wife’s side does a family reunion every three years. Recently we’ve learned how many in that group are MAGA so she has no desire to show up anymore.

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Relevant_Pause_7593@reddit

We still have them, but they are a lot smaller. In the 90’s it was my grandparents, their brothers and sisters and all of the cousins and such under each branch.

Now the grandparents are gone, it’s just my parents hosting events every 5-10 years, with my brothers and sisters, partners and kids (which is still nearly 20 people)

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sarabridge78@reddit

Yep, I have not been to a family reunion since the 90's. I swear my dad would get us invited to reunions with the most distantly related people. My cousin never had to go, and he found it hilarious that I did. His loss he never knew third cousin twice removed Hilda.

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stephsco@reddit

I have also been to a family reunion that wasn't even my family. My family just knew their family.

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IceSmiley@reddit

That's a good q and I don't know, I went to one last year but most of my family lives within 100 miles.

Unfortunately since we're old, we will more see family reunions when people die 😥

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DBDIY4U@reddit

The last family reunion we had oh my god side of the family I believe was in 2010. They were going to have another one that someone was trying to put together that got canceled due to COVID. We used to have one every year growing up. There would be about a hundred of us there at the Portuguese Hall and that is not an exaggeration. My grandpa had 11 brothers and sisters so like he used to say, we have cousins by the dozens.

On my wife's maternal side the last family reunion was about the same time and on her paternal side the last family reunion was I think 2015 give or take. That one was quite interesting to say the least... Some of my distant relatives were there as well 😮

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NotAPreppie@reddit

My family never liked each other enough to bother with them, even in the 80's and 90's.

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202reno@reddit

We’re down to every 5 years. Smaller and smaller each time. Great grandma had 14 kids. Only 1 is left. He was the baby. A lot of the aunts and uncles are gone too so it’s up to us cousins to keep it alive.

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nighteyes_fitz@reddit

We still regularly catch up with my FIL's family. My MIL's side are a bit more spread out around the country so we get together when someone is over. My Dad lives on the other side of the world so don't see him often and I have nothing to do with his side of the family. My mums side is also spread out in regional area, other states and even overseas. I catch up with Aunties and cousins often.

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BasicReputations@reddit

We do one every year. When my grandmother died, her kids realized if they didn't prioritize it they would rarely see each other if ever.

It's getting tricker with adult children.

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lsp2005@reddit

We stopped when it was about 2002. It coincided with some elderly relatives passing on. We would still see them for weddings.

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CookCheap4815@reddit

My family did a family reunions years ago. We would ever have any more I’m sure

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Spartan04@reddit

I think it depends on the family, though with it being easier to stay in contact nowadays there’s probably less incentive to have one.

We’ve had a few in my family over the years, one of my mom’s cousins owns a cottage on a lake and they’ve been the ones to host so it’s usually fun to go and hang out on the lake for a day. The most recent one was about 10 years ago and it was kind of strange since a lot of the older generation, including my grandma, were gone. I believe they are planning one this year but I’m not going and neither is my mom or my brother since my mom’s immediate family (my uncles and their families) won’t be there and so we won’t really know anyone there anymore.

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Similar_Ad2094@reddit

My grandfather held it together. Once he passed I never see my cousins or uncles and they live in the same city as me.

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FaithlessnessOk5240@reddit

I feel like Covid reset a lot of yearly traditions, for better or for worse.

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JeffTS@reddit

My parents would have a cookout for friends and family every Memorial Day and Labor Day weekend. I've been carrying on the tradition for almost 30 years. But the family has grown pretty small. For the first time though, I just met a cousin on my mother's side who I invited for this Memorial Day. The inspiration? The branch of the family tree that he is part of decided to do a virtual family reunion on New Years Day. They used to have reunions in the 70s and 80s but the tradition died out.

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rebelangel@reddit

Haven’t been to one since the early ‘90s. I remember going to a local park and having a cookout. I think we stopped when Gramps passed away in 1994.

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Maxcorps2012@reddit

I went to my ex wife's family reunion in the aughts. We lived a state away and they lived in a sparse areas so it made sense to them to have a gathering every few years. Her family is more split up now so I don't know if they still do that. Im having a small gathering of cousins for the 4th so I guess we still kind of do them but at a much smaller scale. Alot of my family has spread to the 4 winds. And there doesn't seem to be alot of pressure to bring the family back together for anything these days really.

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