I deleted dead people out of my contacts today
Posted by Demiloki@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 909 comments
Sobering task of the day was to delete dead people out of my contacts. Total count was 7. How long do you keep those who passed in your phone?
Scrappytable@reddit
Never ever…. I only delete people I hate! 🤣
ikkynikinae@reddit
Good approach!
DiamondContent2011@reddit
Both aunts, my little brother, both cousins, and my parents' numbers are staying in my Contacts/Groups.
a1welding2004@reddit
My nephew died at the age of 27 ten years ago. I still have his number programmed, four phones later. Also my brother in law is still in there and he died almost 5 years ago. I haven't deleted their texts either.
gatorman98@reddit
I leave them in.
if_a_flutterby@reddit
I used to purge my contacts new year's eve. Drunken chopping block style. Then it started making me cry so I stopped
GiaStonks@reddit
I keep their numbers and messages. Most of them are people who were in my cancer support group years ago. I'm the last one standing and I miss them dearly.
PrisonNurseNC@reddit
Forever.
I have my friend’s last voice mail saved in three places. I listen to her voice when I really miss her. Its my way of never forgetting. Contact information stays.
Agreeable_Day_7547@reddit
I have a grandpa that called and left a message on the answering machine—a long one. He said things men in the WWII generation generally didn’t say. He’d never leave messages other than,”Grandpa called you, it’s Thursday.” He’d sound partially put out I was never home, but also that he had to talk to thin air to get me a message! I was busy in grad school, getting worked ragged by several professors & when I heard it much too late getting home at 2am to call back…I knew then it would be that last time I heard his voice! I do not know how those things work, but it was visceral. He told me how proud he was. How much he missed me. And how so much love can make a life worth living...I slid down the wall & sobbed. He was gone by morning. I had a computer savvy friend to record it for me in several spots.
DragonflySmall6867@reddit
I have my last voicemail from my sister. I listen to it sometimes, too.
aways_interupting_@reddit
I keep them, it's nice seeing their name in my contacts.
rep4043@reddit
My kids still call my husband’s phone number to hear their dad’s voice on his outgoing message. He’s been dead for 4 years. Breaks my heart when I charge his phone and see their missed call there.
la_pan_ther_rose@reddit
Sometimes I call the number
redmosquito777@reddit
Same here. It’s comforting in a weird way.
ebjazzz@reddit
Same
hyst0rica1_29@reddit
I really only end up deleting people that pissed me off, lol. I have a few dead friends still on FB. A few died years ago but I never knew. One died, no lie, 30-45 minutes after our last IM conversation. Apparently he had a massive coronary & dropped. I only found out when I started seeing tribute posts on his feed, that popped up on mine. I literally went “But we were just “talking”!!!
LikeAGlitteringPrize@reddit
Never deleting mine. I still have a Post-it note that my dad wrote me a message on from the 90's. It might be the only thing I have with his handwriting.
lrswager@reddit
My daughter died in 2006 and I will never delete her contact.
Head-Equal1665@reddit
My dad passed away 3 years ago now and i keep putting off deleting his profile from my netflix and prime video accounts. I'm not generally a cery sentimental person bit for some reason i just can't bring myself to actually Delete those. Also still have the notes i made when writing his eulogy for the funeral too, just can't bring myself to get rid of those things even though logically i know I'm not gonna forget him or anything without those things...
Zealousideal-Law2189@reddit
I’ve left up mom & dad’s Facebook. Probably shouldn’t, but sometimes their cousins will write them messages and I don’t want to take that away from them
misanthropoetry@reddit
Forever? Basically because I’m too lazy to delete anything ever.
kepenach@reddit
My father will stay there forever
kpetrie77@reddit
I wasn't going to comment on this post until I saw yours. You made the right choice. I deleted my Dad's contact info about 10 years after he passed and felt like shit after I did it. Let this serve as a warning for others.
gaymersky@reddit
Yes I had this conversation with my husband last year and I went through and did the same... 😔😭😭😭. On top of that I did unfriend a lot of people that have passed on Facebook.
Agent564@reddit
I have some that are "dead to me". I should delete them but what if they call?!
kanorwood2@reddit
Um.. I'm never deleting my mom and dad, even though it's been 5 and 7 years without them... Can't do it..
Repulsive_Belt7954@reddit
Not only can’t I delete my dad, he’s still a pinned contact for my texts - right in the center of my nine.
kanorwood2@reddit
SAME. Definitely starred contacts still. The fact that I have photos for their contacts makes it that much harder to delete them.
Repulsive_Belt7954@reddit
Yes, I have my dad’s picture too. It helps and hurts every time I see it.
kanorwood2@reddit
That!!
TexasMawmaw@reddit
I can’t delete my mom. It has been 4 years.
KippyC348@reddit
awwww shit. nah. i'm don't want to and I'm not gonna. YMMV.
not_a_moogle@reddit
I can think of at least 2 people still in my contacts. And I haven't deleted Facebook completely just so I can still see a profile of one of them.
Snoo58207@reddit
I've done it with everyone but my sister.
marmeylady@reddit
❤️
just_mark@reddit
Forever
It is the only way I have to remember some of them.
Every person is special and deserves to be remembered.
Life has not always been fair.
I_am___The_Botman@reddit
I don't think I've ever deleted a contact from my phone since I bought my first android phone in 2009. 🤔
EmotionalVegetable48@reddit
Ya. I have project contacts from 2011 of clients I most certainly won’t see again
starksfergie@reddit
I've got quite a few post-life people in my contacts, including my parents, other family, even and ex-boyfriend now, so I'm reticent to delete any.
I don't think I'm in the right headspace to deal with getting rid of some of these contacts, so I'll push this for awhile!
OCguy1969@reddit
Are we talking professional acquaintances or friends or family? Because I still have my brother's number saved even though he's been gone for over a decade and I probably won't delete it. What are the odds that someone new gets the number and calls me?
Eddie_Bernays@reddit
I just performed a post-life purge this weekend as well. It can be sobering to realize that a few of your peers have passed
Both-Artichoke5117@reddit
I delete them asap after they pass because I know the numbers get recycled and go to other people.
Jamescg1972@reddit
For Ever. I don’t think I’ve ever deleted anyone from my contacts. I have my mums number in - 10 years this year since she died. I’m sure they are others who died longer ago.
Background_Nature_75@reddit
I have deleted one person in the 20 years I've had this number. That person is only dead to me. I have everyone else. Two of them are my son 5yrs after, and my mom, 6yrs.
ceruleanstones@reddit
Hey that must be rough, sorry for your painful losses
Background_Nature_75@reddit
Thank you, friend 🧡
JimmyJohn_5150@reddit
I still have the voicemail my mom left the day before she died. When I returned her call it was (unbeknownst to me) the last time I talked to her.
Curiousferrets@reddit
I just can't bring myself to delete them.
Ok-Sprinklez@reddit
I don't delete them
Constant-Release-875@reddit
I haven't done so, either... not even on Facebook... so, of course, I get the birthday reminders. I just feel like I'm erasing their memory, somehow. I should delete them for my own sake.
Ok-Sprinklez@reddit
Sending you a hug!
Dollbeau@reddit
Nope! And I hate that updates & time seem to see old messages deleted
Ok-Sprinklez@reddit
Me too. I lost a voicemail of my friend's last message bc it went through routine auto delete. It broke me all over again.
tzigrrl@reddit
My gran’s telephone book (paper organizer by last name first letter) had crossed out lines through those she lost but they were still there when I inherited the book. It was a treasure trove of information about people in her life that I cherished. I probably won’t delete, just mark deceased.
KISSALIVE1975@reddit
Good Thing, They Were Getting Ready To Vote
StrawberryMoonPie@reddit
I save texts and voicemails, but I delete from contacts as soon as I remember to. It’s harder on me to still have them in there and not be able to text or call.
Daomsoul@reddit
Depending on the length of grief for some never. Maybe a few years depending on how close they were I say, but won't know til I have to do the same
Potential_Camera1905@reddit
I lost my best friend in 2020 and my sister last May. I will never delete their numbers.
TheQuietDarkness70@reddit
I’ve got voice messages from dead friends saved from 2010. I don’t want to forget what they sounded like.
PugLoversince2003@reddit
I wish I hadn't been so quick to delete voicemail from my husband! After he died, I only have my memories of his voice in my head.
Cats-n-Chaos@reddit
I know that was a hard decision. Having just had three close people die, I’m not there yet.
gildedlily0492@reddit
I don’t. They are still there. I do have a group for dead people. Same with social media.
Resident-Condition-2@reddit
I still have my grandmother's number in my phone. She passed in 2008
Sunshine0085@reddit
My mother was an easy deletion. My friends 🧡 take a lot longer
Caribgirl2@reddit
Why was your mom an easy deletion?
Sunshine0085@reddit
So many reasons...she deleted me at times I needed a mom, especially after my dad passed away 😢
Caribgirl2@reddit
I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you find peace in all of this.
Sunshine0085@reddit
Thank you. I've definitely struggled in life, but I'm in the best place I've been in a LONG time. 😊
SpinachInquisition@reddit
I get it.
BluebirdSTC@reddit
Mom and Dad are still there two years later. I'm not ready.
Mindless-Attitude956@reddit
My sister, dad, uncle, aunt, childhood bestie are on that list....I can't.
porb2020@reddit
Don’t know if you remember this news story but hopefully it helps.
Woman texts her deceased father for 4 years and get a response
complicatederasure@reddit
Thank you for sharing that. I've never seen it before. It was destiny that her texts to her late "father" helped a man who had lost his own daughter.
Ctfan4@reddit
This is A task that I'm still trying to figure out when it's actually going to happen. My dad died almost 10 years ago and he's still one of my five favorite contacts
Due_Cucumber_6956@reddit
Forever. If I didn't delete them when they were alive then I see no reason to do it now.
Bob_12_Pack@reddit
Can't do it. I lost 2 good friends and my dad in a span of 7 months in 2021. One of those friends would leave me these goofy voicemails, we talked weekly so there are tons of them, and also a lot from my dad. My MIL passed 2 weeks ago, so there's another, and of course my brother who I lost in 2015 is still in there along with our last exchange of texts before he passed suddenly. So there's 5 just right off the top of my head. My son took over my mom's phone line when she passed in 2014 or there would be 6.
complicatederasure@reddit
Oh that's great that your son took your mom's number. ❤️ I'm sorry you've had so many fairly recent losses.
wwoman47@reddit
I’ve got over 15 years dead people in my contact list. Makes me smile when I stumble upon them. 🙂
thisisntmyotherone@reddit
I smile and alternately get sad when see their birthdays roll around in the calendar every year, too.
Slow-Priority-7738@reddit
I just can’t do it
tuenthe463@reddit
Stumbled upon my grandmother in my phone few days ago. She died in September of 2011 so coming up on 16 years. It just seemed weird to delete her so I didn't. She died within a few months of my father dying and I still have my parents cell phone saved as "Mom and Dad cell", even though it's now just mom
Saint_Body@reddit
I have numerous people in my phone that I just can't seem to let go of.
Every time I've even considered it, it's like losing them again.
I just can't do it.
defmacro-jam@reddit
Till *I too, am dead. Obviously.
Think of it as a depth first search that eventually gets rolled up to a single disappearing node.
SCSIwhsiperer@reddit
You've just made me think of my best friend, passed 5 years ago at 51. I'm not going to delete his number.
Zealousideal_Ad_109@reddit
I still have my Dad, dead 8 years, and my aunt, dead two, in my favorites. I can’t erase them and I don’t plan on it
crowleyazira@reddit
My FIL died in 2010, my Dad is 2012. They're both still in my list.
CatchyNameSomething@reddit
My son died 7 years ago. Still have his contact in my phone along with his texts and voicemails.
JayMac1915@reddit
May his memory continue to be a blessing in your loss. Sending warm thoughts to you today.
CatchyNameSomething@reddit
Very kind of you. Thank you.
Ill-Improvement3807@reddit
My brother's number is still in my favorites list. It's long since been assigned to someone else.
Commercial-Novel-786@reddit
I've deleted a few in the past, but my best friend who died last year stays. In fact, I have our text thread pinned. I think about him all the time and I will never forget him.
MissDisplaced@reddit
I have my late husband’s text chat saved too. It’s the whole time he was in the hospital. I can see where he just stopped replying before they moved him to hospice. IDK why he never texted me before they came to transfer him or when he arrived at hospice-the nurse said he was awake when he got there. It’s just sad. I don’t read through it, but I won’t delete it.
Commercial-Novel-786@reddit
Those uncertainties can really eat away. I really hope you can find peace despite that very loose thread. I'm so sorry you have this on your mind in addition to your loss.
I knew something was wrong with my friend, but I never thought it was that serious. The last text he sent to me was about 2 hours before he died, asking how I was doing because I had stuff going on (he was that kind of person). I revisit the texts when I'm somewhere between really missing him and feeling hopeless in life.
mikess314@reddit
I enjoy the annual reminder of my late friend’s birthday. I’ll pour a sour and tip it in his name. If it wasn’t in my phone, I wouldn’t think to do it.
Farquaadthegreek@reddit
My best friend is still my emergency contact
kmanGVL@reddit
I do not delete them. Perhaps an odd way to continue to honor them.
revolutionoverdue@reddit
But what if they call you and you don’t recognize the number now?
Terrible_Analysis_77@reddit
I just put RIP next to them. Don’t know why I don’t delete them.
jdjbr85@reddit
I like that
jdjbr85@reddit
Not gonna do it yet - I just can’t 😭
EC_Stanton_1848@reddit
Thanks guys. /s
I just wasted about 45 minutes thumbing through my phone looking for obsolete numbers.
SkirtTheBudgie@reddit
I still have family numbers who have passed. I don't think I'll ever take them out.
DerangedRhinoceras@reddit
I still have my last text messages from people I’ve lost. Never deleting them.
stretchrun@reddit
I still have some voicemails.
TomMixsSuitcase@reddit
Yeah I still have the last voice mail I got from my mom. Just can’t bring myself to delete it.
Quack68@reddit
I have one.
clintecker@reddit
people say it’s weird but i do it the day they die, doesn’t really make a diff to me
robm1967@reddit
I lost my good friend 3 years ago, he's still in my phone
B1ustopher@reddit
20 years since my grandmother died, and she is still in my phone.
Reneeisme@reddit
Going on twenty years for an old boss I was fond of whose cell is still in my contacts. I’m not on Facebook anymore but before I deleted it I had a bunch of long dead friends there too. It’s getting so I have as many dead friends and relatives as live ones, and every year or two brings word of another one. I don’t want to forget those people so I keep the contacts info.
Desperate_Brilliant8@reddit
Last week I wrote a song for my new band about this. Haven't set it to music yet, but it goes like this:
Pocket mausoleum
Death looms as I scroll
They're now non-existent
Life's a brief parole
Real life digital immortality
Not a tech bro fever dream
Haunts my devices
Automatically slip-streamed
Stop remember
Hand-held immortality
Embrace them
Hand-held immortality
Can't delete you
From my pocket mausoleum
Won't delete you
From my pocket mausoleum
Cybernated immortality
Most-Confusion-417@reddit
Pocket mausoleum is a great lyric
Desperate_Brilliant8@reddit
Thanks!
summerdaysands@reddit
I keep them but add RIP to one of the contact name fields.
Sandover5252@reddit
Keeping those numbers is an important part of my denial.
CanadianExiled@reddit
I never delete anyone, I still have a voicemail from my dad wishing me a happy birthday. He's been gone 9 years and he's still the first to wish me happy birthday every year.
CoolDragon@reddit
🤗 hugs!
Record that and save it elsewhere just in case your carrier decides to purge the database
CanadianExiled@reddit
I tried that, but the sound quality isn't as good. But I do have a backup.
wojonixon@reddit
I was able to record my mom’s last to a voice recording pretty easily…
CanadianExiled@reddit
My dad's voicemail is the n an old iPhone 4. I tried saving it to my PC but the sound quality is weak. I should look into how I can get a better copy.
RizzmwitTheTism@reddit
🫂❤️
HeadInfluence3269@reddit
I keep them. Every now and then, I go thru and read the text message history of things we've said or sent to each other.
psiprez@reddit
Each time I do it, allI can think of is the Gerorge Carlin bit about deleting contacts!
kksmom3@reddit
I did, although it was painful. It was worse seeing their names. They send signs so I know they’re ok.
Steerider@reddit
I keep them forever.
The weird part is when (for example) their old number gets reassigned, and one day you get a notification that your buddy who died ten years ago just joined Signal.
notashroom@reddit
I lost a friend about 4 years ago and he's still blocked for that shit he said. One day I'll have to unblock him, but he doesn't get off the hook that easy!
Waste-Swordfish-6228@reddit
I have not & likely won't delete the people I love...including my mom, gone since 2020.
Porkonaplane@reddit
I'm keeping my Mom's phone number. She might be gone, but that doesn't mean I can't still text her memes or record voice mails for her on special occassions, like I did for this past Mother's Day.
Smells4240@reddit
This post just reminded me I need to do this
dystopianpirate@reddit
Never, my brother passed away in 2009, my grandma in Jan 2017, and I still have their numbers saved
Recynd2@reddit
I keep them forever.
Fezzick51@reddit
This is the way. Like a strange, digital Ofrenda.
wojonixon@reddit
Can’t bring myself to do it yet.
How nice is it that if you’re “lucky” you get to see everyone you know and love die before you do.
SuperDooper900@reddit
Seems like it’s lucky, but I don’t believe it is. I’d rather them be missing me, than the other way around.
wojonixon@reddit
Yeah the scare quotes around lucky were meant to denote sarcasm. I’ve lost both parents, a sibling, and more friends than I care to count. I can say with confidence that aspect of getting older sucks pretty hard.
Georgefresh@reddit
I feel this
Sitting_pipe@reddit
Wife, Dad, and 4 best friends in the last 5 years...i get it
Mysterious_Handle782@reddit
My dad, mom and sister all passed in the last couple of years... I just... I just can't yet... even the thought hurts, you know?!
btaylos@reddit
A few days, probably
TapeFlip187@reddit
Forever. I deleted them all once, and when I got a new phone a couple years later, the cloud added them all back
WhatsUpSteve@reddit
Never. I keep them alive, at least on my phone.
I refuse to delete any contacts. :(
Cultural-Pepper9224@reddit
depends on the person - some i keep forever
cthulhus_spawn@reddit
I haven't deleted my mother, this week she's gone 11 years. Casual friends I delete.
ONROSREPUS@reddit
For far I have only had to do one. I did it when I got a newer phone. I also cleaned out people that haven't called or messaged me in 2+ years.
kikiodie79@reddit
Very brave and probably healthy. I cant bring myself to do it. Especially my friends who died young. I have like 5 people in my phone who have died.
OwnUse4445@reddit
Same.
Suspicious_Monk674@reddit
I can't bring myself to do it either.
genxindifferance@reddit
It took me 7 years to delete the text messages with a close cousin who passed. And even then it was hard to do.
Sandman4130@reddit
Damn dude. Happy Monday morning to you, too. I’ll just be over here pondering my essential isolation in the universe.
LazyTree1884@reddit
I have added death dates to their info, because I know I'll forget.
nitsrikp@reddit
Never. Little reminders of people I’ve lost.
Disastrous-Duty-8020@reddit
I leave the contacts. When I do see the contact I think of good memories and say a little prayer for them.
SuperDooper900@reddit
I never delete anyone. Sometimes I even call, and I can’t tell you exactly why. Maybe hoping something magical would happen and they would answer. Both of my parents, cell phones and their home phone are still in my contact list, and they’ve been gone for many years. I just can’t bring myself to do it.
JaxsonPalooza@reddit
I’m with you 100%. Mine have been gone since March 2021 (Mom) and August 2021 (Dad). Hell, I can’t even bring myself to delete my former boss’s contact because he was such an amazing human. Just can’t do it.
JaxsonPalooza@reddit
I cannot delete those who’ve died. My parents died five years ago, and I not only still have their contacts, I have their voice mails and a recurring calendar reminder to call them at 3pm every day with the understanding that if I cannot reach them I will send the police to do a welfare check; that was in my calendar every day since around 2010.
GreasedLightning86@reddit
My dad’s number is still in my phone I still have some of the voicemails he left also.
Suspicious_Monk674@reddit
I wish I had some of my dad's VM's. 😢
DaddyRhyno79@reddit
It was about 10 years before I deleted my dad’s contact, same for my grandfather.
Local871@reddit
I can’t. It’s like a 2nd death to me.
just_some_chic@reddit
My husband has been gone 7 yrs, my bro 4 and my uncle 2..... I still have all their numbers in my phone....
bourbonpens@reddit
I’m very tempted to call my dad’s old phone number just to see who has it now.
SuperDooper900@reddit
A friend of mine, who was very depressed, took his own life several years ago. A few years after that, I called his number just for the hell of it. This guy answered, and I wasn’t expecting that and I was kind of flustered. I explained to him that I was just calling my friends old number and him, and I began talking. He ended up telling me that whenever I felt the need to give him a call and he’d be glad to talk. What a great guy.
app_generated_name@reddit
I still have a voicemail from my mother. She passed in 2022.
SuperDooper900@reddit
My mom died in 2018 and I have voicemails from her also. I will never delete my friends and loved ones out of my phone.
wojonixon@reddit
Mine went in 2020 and I have a vm I saved. Made copies too so I don’t lose it.
theateroffinanciers@reddit
I never delete them. In factI never delete them. But then again I have an Alexa reminder that goes off daily to give my cat medication. He's been gone for 3 years. I just can't delete it.
SuperDooper900@reddit
Be happy, think of your cat and smile. Is the only way to deal with the pain.
P_Nis_@reddit
(Lovingly) Stop putting yourself through that pain.
BravoPUA@reddit
I don’t delete
I don’t want to love our texts.
I just add a “z” to their beginning of their name and it basically drops/hides them when I’m scrolling contacts.
Same thing I did with x’s. In case I need to screenshot something one day.
JayMac1915@reddit
Same here; there are a bunch of reasons to not want to see someone all the time, but not wanting to delete their contact. Especially an ex whose last name starts with “A”
BadBunnyFooFoo@reddit
I don’t know if I can do it. I lost a friend somewhat recently while I was on vacation (this was back in March). But it’s Pride Month now (they were gay) and their birthday is coming up and it’s really starting to hit me HARD that they’re gone and…..I can’t do it.
Another friend passed a few years ago and I can’t delete them either.
I know it’s just their names and phone numbers and social media but…. I just can’t. Not yet.
Elchimpy1@reddit
I don’t want to do that yet
Robviously-duh@reddit
I leave them in so they are remembered.. a pause and a thought, they deserve it..
Von_Quixote@reddit
I keep voicemails, and their names. It warms my heart to bump into them from time to time.
https://youtu.be/b-vEj2YOTXw?si=fJV22VqySXHW5KYG
groundhogcow@reddit
I don't have the heart yet.
blue-violet-@reddit
🩶 I can’t delete any of them. 3 very dear friends, a couple of colleagues. The first was close to 20 years ago.
Subject_Spell_9799@reddit
I can’t delete dead ppl. My dad and friend have been dead since 2012 and are still in my phone. My boyfriend died 2 years ago and will remain in my phone forever.
tallnoe@reddit
my mom is still in my phone. it’s been almost five years.
i do also delete the “who the fuck is that” ones regularly.
Antsygrl1@reddit
OMG I was noting to my kid the other day how many FB friends I have that are actually DEAD. It's nuts. But they are alive on my friends list.
Clean_Citron_8278@reddit
🫂 I can't bring myself to do it. My 17 y/o cat passed last August. I can't bring myself to throw away her medications.
AriaTudor@reddit
I’m sorry about your kitty. ❤️ I still can’t bring myself to wash the blanket I used to take my kitty to the vet when I had to let him go. I miss him every day.
maxvol75@reddit
no, but the problem is that the phone number usually gets reassigned to someone else by the telecom provider, so you will see wrong picture/name in some messengers.
BronzedLuna@reddit
Oh gosh, I didn’t think of that. How shocking would that be to suddenly see another picture. Especially if you were particularly close to them.
Substantial-Ground73@reddit
my morbid ass got drunk the other night and tallied the number of people who were at my wedding in ‘98 who are dead now.
jtgill02@reddit
I still have my Mom’s cell phone number in my contacts and she passed nearly 6 years ago
Monemvasia@reddit
I still have her voice mails singing me happy birthday in her broken English. I hope I never lose them!
BronzedLuna@reddit
Back them up or save them somewhere else. I kept my husband’s texts for several years and when I switched phones they disappeared. Even though they told me they wouldn’t.
I kept his phone number active for over 10 years. He’s not in my contacts anymore but my mom still is but it’s only been 2 years.
AriaTudor@reddit
I do too! I need to find a way to save it so I’ll always have it ❤️
Cougar-Strong91@reddit
I still have my grandma as one of my favorites in my phone.
lisanstan@reddit
I don't delete contacts. I also have my pre-technology address books.
in-a-microbus@reddit
Just realized I still have 4 people who died still in my phone.
DamnOdd@reddit
My first sister from another mother, it will be 15 years in September.
My dad and 2 other friends.
I can't delete them.
ncpowderhound@reddit
I started doing that with my social media accounts. I haven’t done it with my phone contacts yet.
ultimate_ed@reddit
I've not deleted any dead people out of my contacts. I have created a "deceased" category for them in my contacts that I flag them with. These are friends and family that I don't want to forget.
Djinn2522@reddit
In keeping with the GenX theme, I believe it was comedian George Carlin who said in one of his last stand-up specials that when someone in his contact list dies, it feels “wrong” to summarily delete them.
So he gives each of them six weeks, gratis. Once they die, they get to stay in his contacts list for sx extra weeks, which is a respectable amount of time before deleting them, guilt-free.
Beauphedes_Knutz@reddit
I still remember the numbers of all my family and friends that have passed. Some are their old landline numbers, not their current ones.
I can remember that but can't remember why I walked into another room.
Festering-Boyle@reddit
i would be curious how dead people have current phone numbers
GeneralTall6075@reddit
No. I have texts and a few voice mails from various family and friends. I occasionally go back and read them to reminisce and don’t want them getting erased.
SorryAsk2656@reddit
They are piling up, a very sobering thought
Couldbeaccurate@reddit
Kind of related but not the same... I found an old yearbook from the 5th grade. I had everyone put in their phone number when they signed. I thought about going through and calling all the numbers just to see if anyone still is using that number.
LifeAsNix@reddit
I leave them in there forever
CoderPro225@reddit
Same
LifeAsNix@reddit
They will forever be immortalized in my phone. I still text my dad photos of food he would have loved too. I explain what was happening in the first text and let them know that they don’t need to respond.
cowgrly@reddit
Me, too.
BFDFAO12@reddit
I haven’t deleted anyone. And I’m so happy I didn’t delete voicemails from special people because my mom died suddenly but I can hear her wish me a happy birthday (which happens to be today) whenever I want.
omg_girlll@reddit
Happy Birthday! It’s my bday too 🎂
BFDFAO12@reddit
Birthday twin!!! I hope you had a great day too!! 🥳
sawrek@reddit
🤗
BFDFAO12@reddit
Awe thanks!!
AdditionalWorking637@reddit
Happy birthday 🤗
BFDFAO12@reddit
Thank you!!
sunbleach_happypants@reddit
hbd! 🎂
BFDFAO12@reddit
Thank you!!
PlaneTurbulent4825@reddit
I cant bring g myself to delete my dad. And my favorite aunt who was my dad's little sister just passed yesterday.... getting old sucks!
BFDFAO12@reddit
I totally agree. Still being able to hear them helps.
FireflyEvie@reddit
Happy Birthday 🎂 (sending you a Mom hug💕)
BFDFAO12@reddit
Awe thanks so much!!
Electrical-Bid-9577@reddit
Happy Birthday 🎈
BFDFAO12@reddit
Thank you!!
punkr0ckpapa@reddit
I don't delete any of the phone numbers from peopleFrom people that have passed away because you always die twice physical death and the last time someone says your name or remember who you were I'd like to keep their memory alive RIP to everyoneTo everyone that someone care about them enough to keepTheir memory alive
jerylsburk@reddit
Too long.
Sometime Siri fucks up & sends txts to them.
VirtualOutsideTravel@reddit
Make sure to keep the ghostbusters # handy.... who you gonna call?!?!?!
KrisKred_2328@reddit
I haven’t deleted any of them. It’s kind of a way for me to remember them when I’m going through my contacts. I pause and think about them for a moment. I’m sentimental that way.
W0nderingMe@reddit
I don't delete them. In my physical address book I put hearts next to their name so I don't forget and send them a Christmas card.
Aggravating-Event459@reddit
I don’t do this.
Nerdbaba@reddit
I have 11. Scrolling through was depressing enough. I’ll leave removing them for another day.
MuddyPig168@reddit
I only have only one contact so far, an old coworker, who died. Haven’t removed her yet. Keep forgetting to since she was in so many informal group chats.
davemartin82@reddit
I have some that I have deleted and I have so.e that I will never delete. Lost dad last summer, his will stay. Lost good friend and mentor about 5 years ago now and his will stay also.
kerenski667@reddit
got a few folks in my steam list with "last online x years ago". gonna keep em around.
Anxious-One-2365@reddit
Jeez. This hits hard. I have lost several family and friends in recent years. The very thought of deleting their contact info from my phone and email is hard to even think about still.
No-Match3322@reddit
I recently went through my 90k Google Photos stored on the cloud and realized how many friends have left us.
professornevermind@reddit
Forever
Bassin024@reddit
Millenial but I still have the contact and group chat from a friend that passed several years ago unexpectedly. Cant bring myself to delete them.
__redruM@reddit
Are you trying to depress the whole subreddet? It’s too late/early for this.
pickleddresser@reddit
I have 7. Probably not going to remove them.
jazmatician@reddit
Just realize some day you'll get a notice that so-and-so has joined Telegram.
flutterbyski@reddit
It depends. I have a friend who died in 2009 and I guess her number will be deleted when I die. Other than that I go through periodically and delete them.
pinkbev71@reddit
my Dad's been gone since 2015 and I can't bear to delete his contact 💔
Potential_Chicken_72@reddit
Same. My dad also passed in 2015.
Potential_Chicken_72@reddit
I have a few I can’t bring myself to remove.
DCar060@reddit
I currently have 3 dead people in my contacts
bigwilliesty1e@reddit
I had a friend pass at 25 years of age more than 2 decades ago. I still have him in my contacts.
Diddydawg@reddit
I had to do this recently. 3 people. Leaving my dad in there though, email and all.
slutboi_intraining@reddit
My parents, and certain friends, probably forever.
W0gg0@reddit
I still have my mum’s contact info in my phone. Un deleted emails. She died over a year ago.
introvertednurse75@reddit
I can't bring myself to delete them
Ilbakanp@reddit
I’ve lost close friends and family over the years and I’ve never felt the need to remove their contact information from my phone or social media accounts. I even have saved voicemails from my grandmother, just so I can hear her voice again. For me, it’s comforting to scroll by their number or social media page.
I agree, it’s sobering af to sit back and think about how many people you’ve lost in your lifetime, especially when you still feel like a kid yourself some days.
Dewellah@reddit
I have a voice-mail from an old family friend that is still in my saved messages. I listened to it over the weekend. He was asking if he put a CD into his cassette player, would it still play the music. I woke up early for work a few years ago to that vm and smh/laughed because he had no idea about how any electronics worked. I still laugh when I hear it.
neo101b@reddit
The real trick is to get their phone, and stat messaging people on their Birthday.
"Frank, are you there, why wont you call me anymore"
I still have all my dead contacts, I think i always will.
Lizakaya@reddit
Mine are all
Still in there
webelos8@reddit
My dad died in 2010. I'm sure someone else has that phone number now, but I'll never delete the contact.
Xarda1@reddit
Snapchat keeps recommending a dead friend of mine, I’m guessing his number got recycled. At first it was a gut punch, but now it’s like a little reminder he existed. I miss him deeply.
MariettaDaws@reddit
An online friend (who I know for a fact is dead) had his Twitter/X hacked and the company did not care 🙃
To answer the question, I removed an old friend's number before I realized she was dead. I texted her to tell her Happy Birthday (after skipping a year or two) and discovered someone else had her number. So I deleted it and learned about her a few months later
webelos8@reddit
That's rough. I'm sorry.
lexi_prop@reddit
They stay in my phone forever.
DickButtPlease@reddit
I still have both of my parents in my favorites. They’ve been gone for years.
Detroitdays@reddit
Same.
Eureecka@reddit
Same.
Capt0verkill@reddit
Same
jessxfrenzy@reddit
I keep them around until I get a new phone and can no longer justify the digital clutter. It feels like erasing the last easy way to see their names pop up.
illrateyourtits1to10@reddit
That's almost like removing them as friends from Facebook. You just dont do it. Every now and then I'll send them a message.
SigmaK78@reddit
None, I just update the contact info. In some cases, I even save the text logs & voicemails (specifically my mother, a close friend, my brother, & my 2nd wife).
LeftCryptographer522@reddit
I will never delete my family and friends that have passed. I hope I’m not deleted when the time comes.
lowrads@reddit
All the phone numbers I've memorized are for the dead.
RHND2020@reddit
I haven’t deleted any of them. It just seems too sad.
ChaoticInsomniac@reddit
I can't bring myself to either.
Old text threads included.
Ceffur@reddit
I haven't deleted any of them yet. The time is probably coming soon. Many of my social contacts have disappeared, so maybe that'll be the stepping stone to actually delete my contacts.
eggbean@reddit
I don't delete them.
britbabebecky@reddit
I keep them. I have only two currently - although a third, my dad, died recently, his partner is still in his house. Once she moves out, as she's indicated she will, I'll amend his entry accordingly. They are listed as "RIP (name) 💔 "
CompetitiveCod76@reddit
I still have my dead sibling in my contacts. I'm over it but deleting them feels wrong.
timfinn1972@reddit
Never deleted any of them. Nice to keep the memory.
dopefish3d@reddit
I don’t delete them.
MacOS (and now iOS) will allow you to add custom fields to contacts, so I add a custom date field and label it “death” (which sits right next to the pre-existing “birth”) so I can mark the date, then I change their profile photo to something black-and-white just for an easy visual confirmation. This keeps all their info so that old mails and photos and voicemails and whatnot still keep all their metadata easily searchable and associated with them.
ivgrl1978@reddit
I still text my dad who died a year ago. I'm sure someone else has his number. I know you can't text a ghost. Good for you, seriously. I just can't do it.
Melhoney72@reddit
I get this
Fatbloke-66@reddit
I have a couple, but then I used to use one to store my ATM pin as part of their address, just in case!
Hyphen99@reddit
I don’t delete them, just put a (dec.) after their names. But I like holding onto their info and notes to look back on someday
MikeyRidesABikey@reddit
That's a good idea, though I may put it at the front instead of the end so that they sort together.
brandicox@reddit
I use zz- in front so they're at the bottom of the list. And remember to remove them out of your emergency contacts
interspeciesMama@reddit
Whether it's a delusion or not, I believe, since I simply do not want to fathom otherwise for them, that my family have only lost their physical presence, thus they they are also never deleted from my phone. Silly to some, works for me.
bungdaddy@reddit
I keep them on purpose. I enjoy the reminder when stumbling across their contact. I even have a voicemail from my father on an old answering machine. He left it the day before he killed himself
Br00klynBelle@reddit
My husband and I disagree so much about this. He will delete the number of a person who has passed out of his phone practically immediately (except for his mother. She passed several years ago and he still has her number in his phone, although he considers deleting it every once in a while)
I, on the other hand, keep everyone’s numbers and never delete them because even though I know I will never call those numbers again, I feel like deleting them out of my phone is wrong. Like I am dishonoring their memory somehow.
But then, I also still have the numbers of so many other people who are still alive that have come and gone from my life as well because I find that looking through my contact list and seeing all of those names that are still listed is like looking at old photos of people I cared about and brings back all the wonderful memories associated with them.
BananaEvening5267@reddit
My mother died 17 years ago. I like keeping her number in my contacts. And, Verizon hasn’t to this day reassigned her old number. I like that also.
M2LA@reddit
never delete any. 30+ one today 2014, carlos soto of santa barbara. hugh dude in the local road cycling scene. always in a good mood. always there to lend a push. rip buddy
Swmboa@reddit
Condolences for your loss. Really close friend got hit and killed biking one year ago next week. The freaking worst. Such an unnecessary one not even related to age. RIP.
Swmboa@reddit
Yeah nope. I have about 5. And I keep them in there. I can’t deal with taking them out. Therapists in the group—I would *love* to know what that says about me.
ChaosRainbow23@reddit
I deleted my mom's number after her phone was shut off.
Before then, I called it a lot to leave her messages and listen to her voice in the greeting.
Damn. That made me tear up just writing those two sentences.
Alot2unpack@reddit
I missed a birthday call from my Ma in 2017. She sang Happy Birthday and made a silly joke. She passed in 2020. I listen to that message 100 times a year.
ChaosRainbow23@reddit
I have one recording of my sister. Her and her husband produced some music where she was singing a few weeks before she died.
I still can't listen to it without crying.
Shaking-a-tlfthr@reddit
I’ve got too many 😞
Ya-Dikobraz@reddit
I know I have a few but most just stop posting and there is no explanation.
red286@reddit
There's two deceased people in my contacts and I'm not removing them ever.
stevekimes@reddit
I don’t take anyone out of my phone. A useless chore, and it’s nice to think of people who are gone now when I run by them accidentally
dwair@reddit
I did mine recently when I got a new phone and deleted 5 I think and both my parents.
I didn't really dwell on it at the time as I was just being practical but this post has rammed home that we are are all shuffling off into the end zone. What a way to start the day!
Alot2unpack@reddit
Nope. My Ma and my Father will stay. Even though their numbers have been recycled. I’m not removing them from my contacts.
phunkygroovin@reddit
I don't know, it's weird. I wasn't very close to my grandma, so she was deleted out of my phone pretty quickly when she died. I have a friend who died almost 15 years ago and I still have her number in there and probably will never delete it.
I just went through my phone the other night and deleted a bunch of contacts. I moved states back in 2014 and as a result, lost contact with a lot of people that I was actually really close to when we lived in the same area. I finally deleted those people since we haven't spoken in so long.
IRingTwyce@reddit
Dad passed in 2018 and I still have him in my contacts. Mom passed 11 months ago and she's still in there too.
IndependentTimely639@reddit
It would be morbidly humorous if your mom wasn't still saved
InadmissibleHug@reddit
Yeah, my dad passed in 2010, he’s never leaving
Soggy_Detective_4737@reddit
I went through my contact list last year and deleted everyone who'd passed, except my Mum and MIL, and two friends who'd only recently passed. It was sobering having to delete five people.
I had a notification that 'MIL' had joined one messaging app about eight months after she died, something she'd never have done when she was alive, and I looked, curious to who had her number. By the pose in the photo, I'm assuming it's someone selling guys a special product. She'd be mortified.
Hitt1te@reddit
I deleted my dead Dad's wife. She is still alive but she's a bitch.
HeLLzFiReX@reddit
I have a bunch of people that I know that passed away on social media and my phone. To me it's their graves that I can visit whenever I feel like.
somearcanereference@reddit
Half the reason I'm still on Facebook is being able to look at conversations with those who've since passed.
You nailed it with the grave analogy. I may not be able to visit my friends' and relatives' graves or ashes due to location... but seeing them pop up in Facebook memories, or even in my phone when I start to type in someone else's name, gives me this little rush of memory and gratitude for having known them.
inaeturnumetsemper@reddit
This is such an accurate way to describe how I feel. Mahalo for putting it into words.
morts73@reddit
I delete living people from my phone. Old numbers can get reused so you might get a shock if one your deceased numbers accidentally called.
ehrenzoner@reddit
Still have my dad’s contact card in my address book. Phone number, 2 email addresses, AOL Instant Messenger handle, and his address when he died. I actually pocket dialed him once.
AuntZilla@reddit
I constantly call my grandmother who died in 2013… she’s still on my “favorites” list and butt dialing (really, side pocket of my shorts while im outside and sweaty) always calls her, or my brother in law. Mainly her though. I just can’t take her off.
jahbuu@reddit
Just reading full post was a challenge and helpful prompt. Rare occurrence I resisted scrolling to any comments. Not there yet .... some contacts when they pop up unexpectedly trigger a smile /warm feeling ill miss when deleted . A Few to sad to even see and I know exactly where they are so never surprised . Deleting each will be eventful
Tip of the cap to ya!
Great share
PickleChickens@reddit
Can't do it.
jawg201@reddit
I havent deleted a single number in my entire life they just go with me from phone to phone
fanacapoopan@reddit
I transfer all my contacts from my phone to a very old paper address book from time to time. You know, just in case something happens to my phone. I put everybody in, living, dead or haven't contacted in years.
CJK_Murph@reddit
That’s a great idea! Address book for the win.
Traditional_Fan_2655@reddit
My parents, sibling, my partner of almost 3 decades, 3 aunts, one uncle, two cousins, a former MiL I kept in touch with, and a nephew are all in my phone still. All died since covid started. It was just too many, too soon. I like that my saved texts still are identified by their names. Not ready to delete any of that.
NahNah-P@reddit
I've never thought about deleting them. I probably have 20 or more
citycouple30@reddit
I often go through social media and my phone and delete people. For various reasons. Mainly mental health
standsure@reddit
Can't do it babe. Good for you.
Distinct_Disk_1610@reddit
I’ve consciously kept dead people in my contacts. It makes me think of them and remember them when I see their names.
PuzzleheadedIron5543@reddit
I hive them an 😇 in the contact list. If i glance at it during my day, I tell them I love them.
747WakeTurbulance@reddit
That then deletes all the text messages you got from them too.
jinxdeluxe@reddit
You can archive them if you care. But for example when my uncle died all messages I had from him were really practiacal stuff like 'you can pick this up at xtimex' or 'will be 20 minutes late'. We didn't really 'talk' in messages. No need to keep any of that.
Allysonsplace@reddit
Both of my parents are still in my phone, my father died in 2007 and my mom in 2013.
One of my best friends died in 2021 and his number is still in my phone, as is our entire text thread.
I can't imagine ever deleting those.
filledoux@reddit
My gosh I need to do this. A cousin just died on Tuesday. 😭
jinxdeluxe@reddit
I get a new number every 3 to 6 years and when transfering the data I usually clean house and deleted anyone who doesn't spark joy.
francie442@reddit
Wow that must have been so hard. Not there yet. Thank the Lord.
411592@reddit
I had 5 or 6
Potential-Channel-18@reddit
Nah, I keep all the dead guys in my contacts. I love them.
accidentallyHelpful@reddit
"Digital Purgatory"
by George Carlin
credit the source
jojokangaroo1969@reddit
My dad died in 2017 and I still have his number. And my former fiance died in 2022 and I still have his phone number in my phone. A few years ago I finally deleted my grandma's phone number and she died in 2011. So I kept her number for more than 10 years
AngryK9_@reddit
My father's phone was on my account. When he passed I dropped my phone line and took over his phone number. Just couldn't bring myself to drop it from my account.
jojokangaroo1969@reddit
That's very sweet. I'm sure some of your dad's friends would freak out if you called them on your dad's phone.
AngryK9_@reddit
Well nobody ever really called Dad unless they wanted something. Only one person ever called after he passed away and that was his brother, who did not know that my father had passed when he called.
jojokangaroo1969@reddit
Oh wow. I think it's cool that you took over your dad's number.
insite4real@reddit
I won't ever do it personally. Probably around 20 people and I'm being nice. Tough day, I feel for you. 😔🩷
Consistent_Ice7857@reddit
jeez! i just realize i have at least 4. 😢
Logicdon@reddit
Ye. I have 3.
livefreediehard99@reddit
My dad will always be there. Everyone else, when I change phones I guess…
silverladder@reddit
Lost mine 3 years ago. He’s still in there.
SunshynePower@reddit
Yup, mine too.
westfly29@reddit
Oh gosh, the longest I’ve had a dead person in my contacts is 19yrs and counting. Second is 18. I can’t delete my mom and dad. Too hard. I have a total of 10 dead people in my contacts…
systemfrown@reddit
So how do you find their old voice mails to listen too?
Consistent_Ice7857@reddit
you should probably download them to your phone.
PerformerDr4867@reddit
Wish we could archive contacts. I don’t want certain folks appearing on my list, dead and alive
imtoowhiteandnerdy@reddit
I have "(deceased)" noted beside their name.
Keeping them in my contacts is a simple way of remembering them.
HappyBear4Ever@reddit
I use "(RIP)"
Familiar-Court-4217@reddit
I don't want to forget them, I still have a voicemail from my father so I will remember his voice.
hmasing@reddit
I had the last voicemails from my mother on my phone, and a service tech at the AT&T store factory reset my phone to "fix a problem" without asking. It didn't fix the problem, but it did delete the voicemails. I luckily found an earlier one, so I have one recording of my mother's voice.
I'm 60 years old, and I still miss her.
SecondBubbly3000@reddit
It never goes away.
Mindless_Travel@reddit
I have a few of my dad, too. I have saved them on my PC to back them up. I have one that I have listened to often after he had watched the trailer for Nobody (2021), and he’s recommending me to watch it. Do so every time.
LeanUntilBlue@reddit
They should have different folders for contacts so you can group people no longer with us, but keep them out of your primary contact list.
I mean, some kid could vibe code that with AI in about a minute.
gooseneckmonkey@reddit
I've kept all of them. Probably about a dozen now. Just can't bring myself to delete one in particular so they're all staying.
Electronic-Bear2030@reddit
I don’t have any friends…so Zero I guess???
puffypoodle@reddit
I counted 14 in my FB page. Most were classmates and a few coworkers along with a couple friends.
jeremiah15165@reddit
I delete immediately it’s just too sad otherwise, I had a friend/rival/colleague die of pancreatic cancer, he left behind young kids, was a good dude. Towards the end, he was trying everything to stay alive, even went on holy pilgrimages to Jerusalem. It was so so sad, I almost couldn’t bring myself to go to the funeral. I saw his kids and wife and almost lost it.
No_File1836@reddit
I keep. But I put them in a contact list called Heaven. So unless I’m viewing all contacts or that list I don’t see them.
scarlettohara1936@reddit
I haven't been able to do this with some of them. Grandparents.
PengyLi@reddit
Best friend died in 2000. She's still in!
StrangeAssonance@reddit
Mine died 15 years ago. Still have a reminder on the day of his death so I can have a proper chat with him, whether he can hear me or not. Gone but never forgotten!
Ardal@reddit
Keep her there and say her name out loud when you see it. You die twice, once when you pass and again when your name is spoken for the last time.
I keep mine forever and say their names out loud whenever I see them in the list.
spidermans_mom@reddit
I still text mine. 2023.
StrangeAssonance@reddit
I will keep my mom in there until the day I die. Years of iMSG texts. There is no universe where I will remove those and her number attached to them.
I use chatting programs rather than my actual phone to talk to people, the ones in my phone are all relatives. Won't remove relatives that I have iMSG chains with.
CommunicationEast972@reddit
Never take em out don’t see the reason to
SoxPatsWhalersCelts@reddit
It’s a task that I’m not looking forward to. A lot of my friends and family have passed either from the bottle or the needle. Sobering to try to put a number to it.
Wrong_Pen6179@reddit
I had mom and dad in my phone for a long time after my dad died but then finally changed it because it was painful to see every day.
Unexpectedly99@reddit
I keep them forever. Don't know why. Just seems strange to permanently remove them.
Q_N1NJA@reddit
It's strange when their numbers get redistributed and suggested as an "add friend from your contacts"
Uniquely_Similar74@reddit
This 100%
ParsnipDecent6530@reddit
I still have my mom and dad in my phone. Dad's been gone for 7 years... mom 7 months.
couchwarmer@reddit
I keep them all, adding a note for when they died.
I even have some contacts that only include a note for birth and death dates. These are people I knew personally and went to their funerals, but for whatever reason never had a phone number, email, or physical address.
I have our current and deceased pets in my contacts too, with their respective dates. Sometimes the topic comes up about when we had such and such pet, and having them as contacts is the most convenient way. Bonus, their birthday automatically shows up in my calendar, and a pet birthday is a convenient excuse to celebrate a family event.
MommaLaughing@reddit
Your pets are listed in your contacts? Now THAT is a new one for me.
eristicforfun@reddit
I do a purge once a year or so. I have other ways to remember them.
I lost three friends in the last month, all to cancer. Another friend just got diagnosed, stage 4. He has a few months, maybe.
We have memories, pictures, videos, I don't need daily reminders of all the friends I have already lost.
altblank@reddit
my dad's phone numbers are still in my contact list. i don't see myself deleting any of these anytime soon. i'll likely take them to my grave (or wherever).
Open_Month723@reddit
I don’t delete them. I have one voice mail that I’ll never get rid of
Sleeplessmi@reddit
My parents both died because we’re old school and cell phones. What I wouldn’t give to have a cell phone message from them. I had one old voicemail on a message machine from my dad, but no way to save it, and I think they automatically deleted after 30 days.
Sleeplessmi@reddit
Me too
ParanoidFactoid@reddit
suck
Firstgradechewbacca@reddit
Forever 💔
dibbr@reddit
My Mom died a couple years ago and I still have my parents contact as "Mom and Dad"
DiscardStu@reddit
Same here. The icon for their contact is there old yellow lab. That shortcut will be there forever.
disapprovingfox@reddit
My dad has been gone for 10 years, he is still listed in my phone. A dear friend gone for 12 years, I can't bring myself to take him out of my phone either.
If we had cell phones in 1990, I would have kept my mom's number too.
Uniquely_Similar74@reddit
I wear a bracelet urn with the ashes of my border collie who passed 3 years ago. So it's safe to say I won't delete someone from my phone who passed away.
juliaskankles@reddit
I delete living people out of my contacts
MobileArtist1371@reddit
Gerald is on his death bed. Better delete his number.
cme74@reddit
I do this annually,..depending on how we communicate.
Majestic-Pilot3718@reddit
That's easy to do
Repulsive-Carpet9400@reddit
My hero.
EaterOfFood@reddit
Nip it in the bud
heynow941@reddit
This is the way.
Doja_Gnat@reddit
Same fam, same… I’ve disappeared so many times now they probably think I’m dead
darth-vagrant@reddit
I haven’t even unfriended the dead on Facebook. I forget that we’re still connected until their birthday rolls around, and everyone that doesn’t know they’re dead wishes them Happy Birthday, and I remember.
Most-Confusion-417@reddit
Such a weird modern day situation. Surreal, absurd, I don't know. Weird though for sure. 😊
MamaMidgePidge@reddit
I haven't deleted anybody. I still have a sweet voice mail from my mother-in- law saved and she died over 6 years ago.
Twisted_Spinster@reddit
I think George Carlin said 6 weeks.
JiveTurkeyII@reddit
My friends are too spread out to go see their graves. So if I can use Tech to go see them, I guess that's going to be my way.
I'll never delete the people I care about. Living or dead.
ThirstyWolfSpider@reddit
These days, I'm used to people not having graves. Even my silent-generation mother who used to take us kids on historical trips to graveyards (where we did gravestone rubbings) doesn't want one.
tiny_chaotic_evil@reddit
People Who Died - Jim Carroll Band
Desperate_Brilliant8@reddit
Such a perfect song on so many levels. It was a revelation to me when I first heard it!
YallRedditForThis@reddit
Forever and a day.
tsays@reddit
I don’t delete them. I keep them. I keep them on LinkedIn, on my phone, on social media. For me it’s like a headstone. I stumble upon it on occasion, or I go there intentionally, and I take a moment and remember them, for me.
Forsaken-Repeat-7657@reddit
Same. I cannot delete them 💛
SheriffBartholomew@reddit
Forever. I still have text messages, emails, pictures, and all of that sort of stuff associated with those contacts. I see no reason to delete them, especially when they bring me joy to review periodically.
ArcanumAntares@reddit
I just did this a few days ago...only one removal, but it was a family member.
Nvrm1nd@reddit
Fuck. I didn't even think to delete them. I just checked, and they're all in there. Every one.
Now I wonder how many family members will see if I write them anything.
BurtRogain@reddit
I still have a voice-mail my dad left a couple of weeks before he unexpectedly passed last year. He never left voice messages. I haven’t listened to it yet. Can’t bring myself to do it yet. But I will. When the time is right I will. Fuck I miss my dad.
PSN_ONER@reddit
Definitely copy it somewhere. I lost the last message my mom sent before she passed on. Unfortunately, my garage ass nephew stole my phone and I didn't have enough money to keep my number. It was cheaper for a new one.
ManyProfessional3324@reddit
Damn! That fuckin sucks! 😢
ClearanceItem@reddit
So sorry about your dad. Oddly, I think you'll cherish his voice. Lost my brother at 24, I wish I had a recording of his voice as I no longer remember it.
discombobubolated@reddit
Listen to it and save a recording, before the voice-mail server deletes it.
numbatu2@reddit
My dead people are still in my phone. I can’t bring myself to delete them.
CharleyNobody@reddit
In my house I have an address book I bought at Michael’s years ago - 2 for $1. Every name and address was for Christmas cards and phone numbers. A lot of them were crossed out when people moved, or when they died or fell out of touch. Eventually they were all crossed out. Aging is hard.
RamblinMan72@reddit
Still have my Mom's info, and I kept the voicemails she left.
exitpursuedbybear@reddit
Me too.
BeautifulRub1805@reddit
My dad passed almost 5 years ago and I can’t bring myself to delete his contact from my phone.
ManyProfessional3324@reddit
My mom was 8 years in January. She still had the same landline number we’d had my entire life. I called it a couple years after she died and got “the number you’ve dialed is no longer…”, but still haven’t deleted it.
LangdonAlg3r@reddit
My mom’s phone is sitting on a shelf downstairs. I haven’t even taken her off of my phone plan almost 2.5 years later.
Spots1049@reddit
Same. Both my parents are still in there. Can’t do it. Their last couple voicemails too.
Select-Regret-9840@reddit
Same. He still shows up as one of the "favorite" contacts in my list. For a while afterwards I could call his number and instantly get his voice mail message asking me to "state my business".
Particular-Cod-8221@reddit
That completely sucks! I hate that too and also when reminders pop up for their birthday, etc
Breklin76@reddit
All are still here…in my contacts. In case someone sorts out the Ouija to cell connection.
LadyAsharaRowan@reddit
I still have my Dad, aunt (his sister), and my great aunt.
newyork2E@reddit
Can’t do it, too sad
Ok-Raspberry-4313@reddit
I have my grandmother's green metal box full of 3x5 cards with friends' and relatives' contract info. When I do family history research, it can come in handy. I'm not deleting her contacts yet, and she died in 1969.
RandomToker2018@reddit
I’ve kept them all.
wdatkinson@reddit
Still have my dad's number in my phone. He's been gone 25 years this December.
cowgrly@reddit
This is so sweet. I think he'd love that.
deadbeef4@reddit
I’ve still got the physical piece of paper that my Nona wrote her new address on when she moved into assisted living. I won’t be deleting that one.
Expert_Scarcity4139@reddit
I can’t make myself do this. There’s way more than seven on mine😞
Mandi171@reddit
I was the one in charge of the logistics after my grandmother passed. It hurts so much because nobody ever tells you that when someone dies you don't lose them just once. You lose them and then you have to go about the business of erasing their very existence. That's a different kind of loss. It's rough.
ComprehensiveEast376@reddit
I always text them one more time first. I have a theory that it still reaches them . Say what you need to say ❤️
RaccoonHaunting9638@reddit
I won't delete them. People need to be remembered. Now, the photo bombs that my phone sends me, ...on this day....those are harder
otf_dyer_badass@reddit
It sucks when it’s your dad you were close with. That’s my issue at the present moment
RaccoonHaunting9638@reddit
Oh, that is really hard!! So sorry 😟
GoatBnB@reddit
A grim task. Hang in there.
ImTheGoldfish@reddit
Depends on how sad I get when I see them.
curiousme123456@reddit
I haven’t but I do delete contacts in which 1. If I called they wouldn’t pick up 2. If I texted they wouldn’t call or text back 3. Haven’t had any form of communication or interaction with in years and years 4. I scratch my head and think “who the f is this person”?
I use same approach on LinkedIn….this weekend I deleted at least 20 people. When people say “yeah but it’s good to show you have a lot contacts”. I,more than enough that I don’t hand to think that way and to close to retirement to care
Gwsb1@reddit
😅
4
mommymomnyleebotts@reddit
Those that are in my contacts will stay until I’m no more. One is my son & the other my mother-in-law (who was more of a mom to me that my own)
Gwsb1@reddit
Never
TheDailyDizzy@reddit
I'll never delete my grandma's number or voices messages.
Chainsaw_Locksmith@reddit
I got plenty drunk last year and got out of my head enough to do the 30 second task. Scrolling past all the time fucking sucked. Dude was 13 and my sister's only child. Fuck cancer, GNU Simon.
Wolfrrrr@reddit
GNU Simon
borisvonboris@reddit
I can't.... maybe ever.
Silent_Ad1488@reddit
I have eight. One is my aunt who died from cancer in 2021, another is a former coworker who was shot and killed by her soon-to-be ex-husband in a murder/suicide. Rest in peace Dionne.
TheSwedishEagle@reddit
Never had a dead person in my contacts so far. Knock on wood.
mjskiingcat@reddit
Oh no, don’t jinx yourself. Call all your family and friends in the next 2-3 mos!!
Zealousideal_Draw_94@reddit
None that I am aware of on my contacts on phone.
At least 10 on Facebook, that I remember have passed on.
mjskiingcat@reddit
Never, I keep mine forever.
Lafleur_111@reddit
I can’t bring myself to take my friend George off my favorites. 💔
kozzy1ted2@reddit
My dad was named George. Still in my favorites list. RIP Dad.
Lafleur_111@reddit
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to imagine what you went through losing him. I’m so lucky to still have my parents even though they’ve both had health challenges. I have a lot of good people in my life named George, so I know how you feel about your dad. This George died last year from early onset dementia. I don’t think I’ll ever erase the messages George left me either.
New_Mall_8017@reddit
I'm sorry for your loss, my father is in his 80's mom too. I was actually thinking about this the other day. I just know that i won't ever be able to delete.
kozzy1ted2@reddit
Yep, mom’s 82. Dad beat colon cancer, and had half a lung removed. He was isolated during Covid, even had groceries delivered. Got bored and started going back to AA meetings. 2wks later- Covid.
Ok-Limit-9726@reddit
In Australia, they recycle phone numbers, so if a dead friend calls accidentally years later, it can be a startle!
WeberStreetPatrol@reddit
Good. They never pick up.
a_youkai@reddit
I haven't done it yet. Same with online accounts/messengers.
Imjusttryin84@reddit
Never will i ever..💔
elphaba00@reddit
I will never take them out of my phone. The oldest is from 2009. I talked to her a couple of hours before she died. If I take her out, then she's really dead.
renb8@reddit
I keep all the dead ones in my phone. As someone who looks forward to the zombie apocalypse, it’ll be great to catch up again.
Capital_Pea@reddit
Not only do i still have them in my phone, i still have my physical address book that i had before phones. I can’t let go of these names and numbers.
Guilty_Site_9405@reddit
I finally got rid of 14 last month. Fucking dope really hit the class of 99. Here's to all our friends who cant be here ! Love you all...
Smorsdoeuvres@reddit
MoltenMirrors@reddit
I keep them there so I can easily look up and read our old conversations when I miss them.
Turbulent-Band-6728@reddit
I have so many to delete…
bigtonearcade@reddit
52 years old. I got 12 in mine
SatansLoLHelper@reddit
I've put 5 ppl in the grave. They are all still in the contacts. It is a nice reminder of their picture.
I recently made a mistake and added my google voice contacts to my phone. A good hundred contacts of faces I forgot.
The number of faces I have forgotten.
Noble_Gas_7485@reddit
My wife is gone almost 12 years, still have it.
New_Constant_5941@reddit
I have a voicemail from a buddy that I have never listened to. I just can’t do it.
Suspicious_Time7239@reddit
I keep them all in case they call. 🙃
InternationalRule138@reddit
They stay forever 🤷🏼♀️
Ok_Skill_6904@reddit
OP its fine to do this
SuchDogeHodler@reddit
I cleaned 5
Saved_By_Yah@reddit
My dad passed in 2017 and he is still in my contacts. But mainly for his email and some passwords. He never had his own email. I created it because I handle his Ancestry account.
CPT_Splat@reddit
I was just going to clean up texts and found 2 recent threads with people who are now dead. Been a rough few weeks.
spikelike@reddit
They’re still there. rip
Tamiacat@reddit
I never take them out of my contacts.
Dalearev@reddit
Forever for me.
ConsequenceFeeling96@reddit
Same. I’ve got one on there from 20 yrs ago. A friend who was a victim of suicide.
My stepdad passed away 6 yrs ago this month. His is still in my favorites list. I did move it to the bottom but it’s still there in those top 10-12#s.
rimshot99@reddit
Maybe we need a new death?
jmsferret@reddit
Hemingway, I believe, kinda mentioned this, and it's also said about warriors. As long as their name is spoken, they're not dead.
Babylove1967@reddit
Wow! #3 really made me think, and made me sad
DebaucherousHeathen@reddit
Forever
drewkawa@reddit
My mother passed over a year ago. I had her on my location services. Her phone still says “Can see you location”
🥲 love ya mom!
Open_Confidence_9349@reddit
I do it while still in the throes of grief. I can’t handle being taken back unexpectedly, so I just rip the bandaid off.
djmixmotomike@reddit
Bless u. And I'm an atheist
CrazyCatLadyNL@reddit
My mum died last year, her info is still in my phone’s contact list.
polytriks@reddit
I still have old voicemails from mine 🥹
MrSlippifist@reddit
My Dad died a couple of years ago. He'll never be deleted.
TheRealOSU@reddit
Same. My dad died 3 years ago and I still have his last 4 voicemail saved on my phone. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to listen to them again though. 😭
MrSlippifist@reddit
I wish i had a sample of his voice. I started saving some recording of my voice for my wife and son.
MotherOfPullets@reddit
Please do? My mom's voicemail was lost when I switched phones and I couldn't get it back. Haunts me now that I can't hear "my girl" from her anymore.
ace-mathematician@reddit
Same with my mom. 😓
Dapper-Razzmatazz-60@reddit
Same
CatPurrsonNo1@reddit
What’s weird is that I now have my mom’s phone number. (She had a better phone than I did, so when she passed, my sister sent me her phone and kept me on the plan.)
My fiancé’s number is still in my contacts, and I haven’t had the heart to delete it yet.
Cultural_Day7760@reddit
It never occurred to me to do this.
Today I went to the last place I saw my brother before he passed. It was a last minute decision. As I pulled up, I remembered that and had to sit in the car for a bit.
TheRateBeerian@reddit
Well fuck me I just realized I had 2 in there. I’m just gonna leave em for now.
NL_Gray-Fox@reddit
My mom, grandmother and aunts.
I mainly keep them for the birthdays, we still always go out for family dinner on my mom's birthday.
kagiles@reddit
I had to delete my mom almost immediately. A few months later, I deleted my entire extended family. They weren't dead, just raging assholes.
My mom took over a year to get through her death. It took another year to even attempt to deal with her things at my home. It's now 9 years later and I'm finally parting with things that had history. My kids don't want any of it (27/29). I don't want them to have to go through all kinds of shit after we die.
I still miss her. I don't miss the stress and drama. I'm so thankful I got to take care of her dog for a year before she passed. We know have our own chihuahua who is turning 8.
JuliusSeizuresalad@reddit
Moms been in there 16 years and like 4-5 phones
Hands_Of_Serenity78@reddit
All of mine are still in my phone. I change their names to all lower case, everything else stays the same.
No one else ever gets their ring tones, either.
They will forever be in my contacts like they will forever be part of my life.
SugarsBoogers@reddit
I like this way
Awesome-Oma@reddit
Longer than I should I guess. It’s hard to delete them. I think the longest time was 10 years.
13maven@reddit
Speak their names…. I have 3 or 4
kingpin748@reddit
Just my parents...
LadyNorbert@reddit
I have four in mine. Haven't been able to bring myself to delete them yet. Not sure I ever will. One of them is my beloved great-aunt who died last year - she would have been 101 a few days ago if she was still with us, and she was one of my favorite people. I removed her from my favorite contacts list and that was hard enough.
Chance_Fate66@reddit
Indefinitely
No-Jaguar6771@reddit
A longtime friend and my hairdresser died on Friday and I just found out today… 😔😔 She and another friend who died in 2020- both from cancer- will live on forever in my contacts no matter how much time passes.
missdevon2@reddit
It depends on who they are. Honestly the only reason I deleted my parents is I have chronic illnesses and even though I have emergency contact numbers set up on my phone in case something happens I figured I needed to because I’ve heard EMS scroll to find mom or dad listed in contacts
eSJayPee@reddit
This is incredible. I have not deleted any dead people, with the oldest one, dead since 2009. Kudos to you. I can't do it and I bet I'm over ten people but afraid to count.
Gouki5150@reddit
I hadn't really thought about that, how many people in my contacts have passed. I'm ok with not knowing. As they say, ignorance is bliss 😊
Gouki5150@reddit
Dad passed away 8 years ago and it's still in my contacts as "Mom & Dad". IDK, doesn't bother me and I'd like to think he's still around in spirit.
thistle_britches@reddit
Oof, that's a tough one. I still keep a couple of voicemails, to listen to and remember them.
totheremu@reddit
This made me wonder, so I went through mine and deleted 6 dead people, 4 defunct businesses, and 1 Scammer Kevin Smith. Good work for a Sunday.
Elfman72@reddit
I have Discord server with a channel that I would chat my older brother in. He went to prison for some stupid decisions. He got out. Our last chats are in there before he passed from cancer a year later. I will not look at those again. But his last words to me are in there. I can't even look in there. I HATE what he did, but I miss him every day.
SquirrelsNRaccoons@reddit
I still have my mom and my brother in my contacts and it's been 3 and 5 years. I can't bring myself to delete them. My mom's profile still shows on my subscription media services too. Every now and then I'll go into her profile on Netflix or Hulu and watch something she watched. 😢
DeepRoot@reddit
I have not yet done this step, just thinking about it is uncomfortable.
cme74@reddit
I have. I have my dead dad's voicemail, always will keep it.
I deleted a friend's number, who passed last year, may he RIP.
xiewadu@reddit
When my dad died about 10 years ago, one of the first things I did was to copy his voice mail sound files to my computer and made a backup. They are there when I'm ready to hear his voice. I was so scared that I would forget it. I still haven't.
cme74@reddit
❤️
ArtexBonesinger@reddit
The north remembers... We don't delete the fallen.
ParkingTradition799@reddit
It took me yrs to delete my dad out of my phone.
ChunkyWombat7@reddit
I will never delete them
mdwieland@reddit
I've kept all my contact info of friends/family that have passed, not do I plan on deleting them. At all.
Capi_Wawa@reddit
Same same
HanaGirl69@reddit
I've got my brother and my dad in there. Still.
GestaltWitch@reddit
Can’t remove my dad from my favorites yet!
Amalfi-state-of-mind@reddit
No need to. My mom has been gone for nearly 10 years but I still like seeing her there
PlantMystic@reddit
I can relate. I waited a few years before deleting my 2 cousins. I just couldn't do it. I refuse to ever delete my brother as we shared a lot of texts and I want to keep them. I also just don't want to ever delete him. 😞
TheLeathal13@reddit
I did 3 in a day, it was a few months after the last of the 3 died.
thephillybirdfivetwo@reddit
I keep them for the love and memories
jules793@reddit
I have taken them out after about a year or so. My clients I do sooner especially the ones that have similar names just to keep my work contacts cleaner. My immediate family I will take how ever long as I need to.
MeatofKings@reddit
My Mom and friend’s Dad both mentioned in their 80s how so many of their friends their own age had passed away. I’m starting to understand the sadness of it now that all of my Mom and Dad’s generation are gone. I try not to think about it, but it’s already started too soon for some of our generation.
esoteric_vagabond@reddit
I will never delete their numbers. WHY would you even need to?! Is your thumb getting tired from scrolling down ffs?
SubstanceWrong9456@reddit
My brother forever. Who knows? Maybe he’ll phone me
PearlieVictorious@reddit
Never plan to.
merlinbinx@reddit
Forever
danceswithsockson@reddit
Never clearing them out. Just went in to look and counted 24 that I know of dead.
Babylove1967@reddit
It hurts so much each time I see my brother and my dad's numbers in my contacts. I can't delete them yet even though it's been 9 years and 8 years respectively 😓
Uncle_Brewster@reddit
I have a cousin that died well over five years ago. His wife never had her own Facebook account, and still uses his account today. So, I see my dead cousin posting on Facebook all the time.
CriticalYikes@reddit
I keep mine. I miss them and I like to see their names in my contact book. Mini little memorials ig.
Ibroughtmypencil@reddit
Ditto.
CrispityCraspits@reddit
Anyone have a good idea about how to prune your contacts without doing it manually?
hapster85@reddit
I only have a few in mine, but it just never feels like the right time whenever I think about deleting them.
OwlConcerns@reddit
My grandma and best friend will stay in my phone favorites forever. My grandma's Netflix profile is also never getting deleted, and I'm never deleting her voice mails.
PunkRockPowerBallad@reddit
I never clean up my contacts, it wasn't an issue until I got the "Grandma is on Snapchat" notification.
Carry_Tiger@reddit
I haven't deleted any. I can't bring myself to but now you're scaring me. I really don't want to see the 'Abuela on Snapchat' notification, either.
redbeard914@reddit
I should do this. I have people in my contacts that died 20+ years ago.
CatStretchPics@reddit
I will never delete them
Spiritual_Sorbet_470@reddit
I gotta agree never
Starwaster@reddit
Forever.
Acceptable_Mirror235@reddit
My uncle and son-in-law died in 2016. I kept them in my contact list until I lost my phone a few years ago and theirs were two of the numbers that didn’t transfer . I lost texts from them, too. Still a little sad about it.
My mother-in-law died a couple of months ago . I haven’t even thought about deleting her number.
What’s the point?
ruling_faction@reddit
I've still got a seven second voicemail from my mum
Ill_Establishment406@reddit
I now keep all my moms vm and keep them in a folder. I wish I had done this with my dad
PuzzleFly76@reddit
Same. Dad died in 2005 and I just didn't have a phone that would keep voicemails so his voice is silent forever. I now keep all of my moms since she's well into her 80s.
fatkidscandystore@reddit
I don’t delete contacts or text messages. Period
East_Vivian@reddit
I only have 2. Have no plans to delete them.
Coup-de-Glass@reddit
This topic reminded me of a story I heard on NPR once. The idea began I. Japan, but “Wind Phones” spread globally.
https://www.mywindphone.com
TeachYPreaciBrown72@reddit
One of my favorites.
MNPS1603@reddit
I really don’t have a reason to delete them
Chilasono@reddit
I feel this. My dad is still in my phone. Cant do it. Not yet
CountDown60@reddit
I kept paying my sons phone bill for about 3 years so I could text him how much I missed him. If it wasn't so expensive, I would have kept it forever.
Neener216@reddit
Sending you a hug. This broke my heart.
Neener216@reddit
My dad's phone was on my list of Apple devices because we shared location. When he passed away five years ago, I never removed him from the list.
Every so often, I'll go in there just because I know "Dad can see your location" will appear, and that gives me strange comfort.
foilrat@reddit
This one hit home.
nakedwithoutmyhoodie@reddit
Mom's still in my contacts. It's been almost 7 years.
redstapler4@reddit
I put a butterfly 🦋 behind their name and keep the voicemails and text messages. Just can’t bring myself to delete 2 grandmas and 1 uncle.
Such-Patience-5111@reddit
I have several that have been dead for more than a decade that are still there. I just can’t do it
TeachYPreaciBrown72@reddit
Me either...
Practically_Hip@reddit
Best friend from the 90s who passed in 2009 is still in here. No reason to delete.
Shibboleeth@reddit
Funny. I just cleaned up a bunch of old chats. People that left me behind, and spam. Only chat with a dead/left person I didn't delete was my mom, and well she was responsible for a lot of neglect in my life. Which I'm conflicted about.
After_Narwhal8582@reddit
Leave them until I see them in contacts one day and decide it’s time
m149@reddit
jeez, I butt dialed one of those a few weeks ago.
I don't know if I have the heart to delete those people's contacts.
middleagedouchebag@reddit
George Carlin kept his in a folder on his desktop.
lovefortheanimals@reddit
My mom & dad have passed and their cell numbers are still my top 2 favorites. I will never delete them.
writergal75@reddit
Ugh it’s SOOO hard to do!!! I really struggle with it.
Repulsive-Ad-3669@reddit
I can't do it and I wasn't even that close to one
Braincloud@reddit
I’ve had my mom in my iPhone contacts for about 15 years after she’s passed. My dad for almost 20 now. And I still have saved voicemails from them. Can’t bring myself to delete them. 💔
Luke1521@reddit
Same here my friend. Keeping them in there as long as I'm here.
Affectionate-Map2583@reddit
My father died 3 years ago and is still in my contacts. It's not even him anymore, because that number has been given to someone else, which we found out when my son got a "someone in your contacts is on Snapchat!" message about a year after he died.
Sufficient_Space8484@reddit
Why delete them?
Coffeeyespleeez@reddit
My brother died years and years ago. I just can’t. It’s odd I know but I just can’t.
borisdidnothingwrong@reddit
After my older brother passed my mom gave his phone to my twin. I was not informed of this at the time.
About 3 years later I got a call from said twin, and was a little freaked out.
I still have the contact in my phone as my older brother instead of Spare Parts.
Arkhamina@reddit
Oof. For me, it's FB, and I have a ton of dead people. It seems... disrespectful.
Affectionate-Arm5784@reddit
I hate when their birthday rolls around and FB reminds me to wish the a happy birthday. Just makes me sad.
SLyndon4@reddit
My grandma passed in 2014, my mom in 2019, an uncle in 2023, and my bio father last year. I still have all their numbers in my phone.
Dangerous-Art-Me@reddit
Ouch.
I’m so very sorry.
(I keep mine. I just can’t.)
dfwr@reddit
I probably have at least a dozen. I start counting but can never bring myself to finish
CarmeloTronPrime@reddit
We're going to have to get used to the fact that the list of people we know who are no longer with us, is going to get longer until we eventually make it on someone else's list. Live a good life.
LovesDeanWinchester@reddit
My Mom & Dad's home number (it was a landline - they never got cells) will always be in my contacts.
VintageFashion4Ever@reddit
My mom died almost 12 years ago and I still have her contact in my phone. I know it is stupid, buy I can't delete it.
Old-Mycologist4750@reddit
Not stupid, they are still there with you even as a contact. I still have my own contacts that are long gone in my phone… It feels wrong to delete them for me.
martinfendertaylor@reddit
I can't get myself to do it.
lime007@reddit
I have 4 deceased contacts. I'll probably delete the next time I get a new phone. I recently transferred a couple voicemails from two dead relatives to my computer.
😢
Old-Mycologist4750@reddit
I just can’t. My grandparents are still in my contacts even.
quantumsparq@reddit
I keep them all.
Mayhem1966@reddit
I won't get rid of any of the big ones. My parents, my favorite uncle.
SpinachInquisition@reddit
I still have my late husband connected to our apple family sharing because I just can’t delete anything yet. It’s been almost 4 years. Someone has already been reassigned his number, but idk. Someday.
MomoMcDoobie@reddit
I have my last text messages with my mom and I'll be devastated when / if I lose them
Coup-de-Glass@reddit
Screenshot them and save them to your photos. ❤️
she_is_recalibrating@reddit
Just yesterday, I deleted my son‘s ex-girlfriend from my contacts. That was really really painful.
grinogirl@reddit
I have a friend who died a few years ago... I thought I was strange. I also have a voicemail from my second Mom. I just can't delete it.
HistoryGirl23@reddit
Voicemail is different from their number, I think.
onesleekrican@reddit
My mom and both brothers remain. 2k09, 12 and 21 . Just wish I hadn’t lost the voicemails. Being the last of your blood line aside from your children by 40 is a headfuck.
BadkyDrawnBear@reddit
I feel you brother, I've been the oldest living member of my family since I was 46
onesleekrican@reddit
Respect.
HistoryGirl23@reddit
I try to remove them every few months, emails too.
PaddleMonkey@reddit
I still have texts and voice messages from them on my phone.
GumbybyGum@reddit
I can’t bring myself to delete my dad.
cocobear114@reddit
same. dad died 10 years ago...he's still in there
PunkTuba@reddit
8 years & I haven’t deleted Dad, never will. However, I did remove one digit so I don’t buttdial the person who got my dad’s number anymore 😂
ImmaSMH@reddit
Same. Can't do it.
Benji_Likes_Waffles@reddit
Same. He's staying.
steveholtbluth@reddit
I’ve never deleted anybody from my contacts lol. I consider it permanent
Starkravingbrie@reddit
Me neither but now I’m wondering if I should…hmm.
DemenicHand@reddit
in HS Alex had the locker next to me. A preppy with a tough as crap Latina girlfriend and they had a little weed business going.
I introduced him to Megan from my gym class. We were all at the mall at the time and after a few minutes we (including Megan's sister) were buying tickets to Young Guns and eating at Wendys. They started dating right after that. I struck out that day. Three years later, they were engaged.
Alex went rock climbing and fell to his death. That was 1992.
I happened upon his photo when i cracked open an old year book this weekend. He will never age. always 21.
Yeahhh that one still hurts
AlucardD20@reddit
My best bud from High School died about 10 years ago at this point. I can’t delete it. I keep it so when I see his name I can think about the good times and I tell my wife about the silly crap we did.
Dost_is_a_word@reddit
When my kids became adults I realised that they were now captains of their own appointments, so goodbye to all school contacts, paediatricians, dentist, doctors, camps, school friends parents numbers.
I went from 150 contacts to 51.
justicesalmon@reddit
I keep all of mine and then I remember them fondly when someone else gets their phone number and signs up for snap, insta, etc.
YaTheMadness@reddit
I don't, I leave them in, puts a smile on my face and a good memory when I see their name.
ImmaSMH@reddit
Thank you for that.
AshleyRoeder33@reddit
My gram is still in my phone with her own ringtone — she died in 2009. My dad died last year and he’s still a favourite in my texts. I’m sure both numbers have been recycled by now. But I just can’t.
NarrowBridge111@reddit
Can’t do it. There’s a finality to it that terrifies me. It’s as if keeping them in my contacts keeps them with me, even in such a small way.
PersonInDenver@reddit
OOF. Yeah that’s no fun. Sorry OP
KrispyAvocado@reddit
i’ve never deleted them. I’ve got some contacts in there who’ve been dead 15 years or more.
Ornamental_oriental@reddit
I listen to the messages they left when I didn’t answer. They make me feel sad and relieved to hear their voices, all at the same time. I think of how short life is for all of us at this half way marker.
DasPike@reddit
Saving the voicemails my mother left was/is such a cathartic decision. There are a few specific that she left during the week my daughter was born and I will cherish those forever.
HezFez238@reddit
I’m sorry for your loss, OP
Southernms@reddit
I don’t think I have any in my phone because when I got this new phone, not all my old numbers ported over. I do not and will not delete friends on social media that have passed.
ward_bond@reddit
I have way more dead Facebook friends than phone contacts.
Frigidspinner@reddit
same - and my dad is not going anywhere
Munchkin_Media@reddit
I hate doing this. It's depressing but seeing their numbers is too.
doveinabottle@reddit
Grandma is still in my phone. She died in 2017.
QuietPerspective54@reddit
I was thinking about this as it relates to social media accounts. I see many people leaving their dead loved ones’ accounts open and I honestly just wonder what the thought is behind that? It’s not a decision I would make, but I’m curious about other perspectives. As far as phone contacts, I can only tell you what I’ve done myself. I remove them immediately because seeing the name just upsets me.
barelybent@reddit
I leave my late husband’s account open. Sometimes his friends will post on his account that they miss him. I find it comforting to know they haven’t forgotten him. It’s been more than six years since he died. I also leave it open so that his parents and siblings can view it when they want to.
QuietPerspective54@reddit
Thanks for explaining. I appreciate it. It sounds like it brings comfort to those who need it most.
AUCE05@reddit
I do a clean up once a year for personal contacts. If we havent spoke, you gotta go.
SeaRayDav@reddit
That’s a scary concept!😬
EBofEB@reddit
I recently saw that I have two with the same first name so they were listed right next to each other for me. I couldn’t delete them when I saw them but I know I will eventually.
carefulwiththataxe23@reddit
I still have my mom and dad’s phone numbers in my phone. My mom died in 2015 and my pops in 2024. They be there as long as I’m above ground, along with some phone messages. I also have my text message with my dad. Ran across them while looking for something else in messages. My last text was “Hey pops, I see you tried calling. Everything ok?” Everything was not okay.
ejbrds@reddit
I leave them forever but I put them in lower case.
Dorothy_Zbornak789@reddit
Not a bad idea
Lopsided_Antelope868@reddit
Immediately. So I don’t feel sad when I see the names.
Motomegal@reddit
I have over 3,000 contacts in my phone so logically, I’m not spending the time to comb thru all those.
Yummy_Castoreum@reddit
I never delete them. Maybe that's weird.
In my 20s, I remember vowing with my buddies that we'd bury each other. I just never thought we'd start so soon.
MienaLovesCats@reddit
Less then a month.
tvieno@reddit
I still have my father's and mother's numbers. He passed away in 2008 and my mother in 2016.
SomethingClever70@reddit
Same. I also downloaded some voicemails.
2013casper@reddit
I can't do that yet. I lost my sister and brother in law 5 years ago and I still have them saved in my phone.
Crafty-Resort383@reddit
Crazy. I’m on vacation with my in-laws and told them last night, my contact list has a lot of dead people in it. Makes me sad.
oubliette13@reddit
One of my dearest friends passed away almost 3 years ago. I love being able to see the last goofy memes we sent each other. I have deleted dead relatives. Less important than chosen family, I guess.
the_real_MBAPROF@reddit
I haven’t deleted any either. They ment a lot to me.
Iceyes33@reddit
The hardest one was my sister. She died at age 55 three years ago. She still pops up on my LinkedIn and Facebook. 😞
NoInternal21418@reddit
I still have my sister in law in my phone and she passed 4 years ago almost to the day - she stuck by me when her brother and I split and was one of my closest friends. I can’t bring myself to delete her name. I keep in touch with her husband and when he calls me from the landline (which is almost always since cell coverage is spotty at that house) it comes up as her name. I miss her every day, she was there for me and my kids in ways no one else ever was. When I go to visit and check in on her husband who is getting up there in years - he still has her iPad sitting where she would keep it. He has cleared out almost all of her clothing, shoes and handbags but he can’t bring himself to move that one last thing.
ButterscotchNice3613@reddit
♥️♥️♥️
Lucidsunshine@reddit
I still have a voice mail from a friend of mine who is around 10 years passed
Ken_Megan4@reddit
I can't. I want to see the names from time to time
Environmental_Suit49@reddit
It takes some time for most of them for me, but I get it done in a matter of weeks. But my younger brother has been gone for 5 years now and he’s still in there. No plans to delete it.
sysaphiswaits@reddit
I just got back on social media, and I’m shocked how many people passed since the end of 2021.
JoeFromStPaul@reddit
I still send my grandpa a message on Facebook messenger once and a while. If i ever get a response it will be freaky.
strumthebuilding@reddit
They’re still there. I don’t use Facebook anymore but I’ve got dead friends there too.
wyohman@reddit
I had a friend that ended his life and it took me than a decade for me to delete him.
Solo_is_dead@reddit
Damn. I just realized I have a couple people I can do that with. I'm not sure I can do that. I'm also not sure why I can't. They weren't super close, and I hadn't talked to them anytime closer to when they passed, but it's the finality of it.
WindSong001@reddit
I only delete acquaintances
Objective-Bug-1941@reddit
I have had my phone number for 21 years. No one gets deleted. My Nan has been gone 10 years this summer, she's still there.
Aria-Part-Time@reddit
I have avoided deleting anyone so I can still access old photos and memories. I get the urge at least once a year but always chicken out.
snailslimeandbeespit@reddit
They're still there. I just can't do it, plus I've saved their voicemails so I'll never forget their voices.
Logical-Inside-4235@reddit
Not an easy task. I have yet to make it. Thought about it many times - but can’t do it. ❤️ I get it though. Especially with folks mindlessly wishing the “gone” happy birthday, etc. it’s a frustratingly gross process - realizing “friends” aren’t really that.
Nonetoobrightatall@reddit
I don’t delete them. I have their souls trapped forever!
Elbarto_007@reddit
I left my dad’s contact number and have his voice messages and texts. I also made sure to download his voice messages to my iCloud and a copy to my MacBook/hard drive back up
MalestromB@reddit
I will always keep my Father's phone number
Spridlewv@reddit
I haven’t deleted any. Although it is a little disturbing when someone who now has their number pops up on snapchat or another app.
KickstandSF@reddit
I just watched a video on Facebook “memories” and thought “oh look. I’m the only one still alive in that.”
Johnatron2000@reddit
I have always kept my friends that have passed in my phone. Never really thought about it until 6 years ago when my mate who died in 2003 rang my phone. I answered, it was a wrong number. Something I hadn’t taken into account was that numbers get recycled. Matt’s number was now someone else’s and they just happened to call me
gochomoe@reddit
I have a few messages that my dad left a while back. He died a couple years ago . I will never delete them. I see them in my list and can listen to his voice.
pill_poppin_daddy@reddit
I do the same thing; sorry for your loss.
Federal_Bus_6655@reddit
I haven’t deleted my dead contacts yet…
Texan19er@reddit
I keep,the contacts with this as their contact photo - kind of a electronic memorial…
Round-Place548@reddit
I have never deleted them. I still have my text history with my sister who passed in 2021.
MaddestMissy@reddit
Forever. Well, usually. I mean there was this woman I couldn't stand I met in hospital who added me on Facebook. She was histrionic and annoyed all of us extremely. One day I was on the phone with a friend who I also knew from said hospital stay whilst scrolling through my fb friends when I saw her and told my friend: "Eew, right, Meggy (yeah, she spelt it like that), she added me a while ago on fb. I don't know what to do with her, telling her what I actually think of her once and for all, or just deleting her from my friend list." Miriam then answered quite awkwardly: "Oh, you don't know...? She died around a month ago from breast cancer." Me: "Hm, well... I guess then deleting it is."
Miriam sighed but come on. Shall I act all compassionate now, especially right after I mentioned how much I disliked her? I didn't wish her dead, I just didn't care. I never claimed to be good person, and I am not pretentious for no reason either.
Anyway, usually there're only people I like or love in my contacts and social media, I don't delete them anywhere. It is kinda a sweet but hurting comfort. Like melancholy.
KatieHere@reddit
How long do I keep them? Well...my voicemail box is full of messages of dead loved ones I just can't delete. I have room for 1 or 2 more messages so if you call me, keep it short.
Ill_Quantity_5634@reddit
My dad died 3 years ago. I can't bring myself to delete his number. Mom shut it off a few months ago, so it's not even a working number. But I just can't delete it.
Roboto33@reddit
I’m similar. Have texts and emails as well as my dad’s Facebook still. I just can’t turn it off or delete it. Don’t want to. Maybe just not ready yet
Ill_Quantity_5634@reddit
I have the last voicemail he ever sent saved in multiple places so I can hear his voice every so often.
Roboto33@reddit
I have his last couple of texts as well as an unused gas gift card I just keep in my wallet, not even sure if it’s valid.
sunfish99@reddit
Same here, and my dad is gone 8 years.
Intrepid_Practice956@reddit
On my old Facebook account, I made a group for them. There was the occasional acquaintance so I deleted them, but actual friends who have passed are in that group.
iloveairportsushi@reddit
Long before cell phones were the mainstream my stepfather passed away. About 1.5 years later I was at my friend’s apartment. She had call display and the phone rang. We looked at who was calling and it was my stepdad’s name. We were very freaked out until she answered and it was my mom calling me there. My mom had not taken his name off the number so he still showed up on the call display.
txtw@reddit
My dad died in 1992 but he still gets mail, because the phone is still in his name.
GrammyGH@reddit
When I got a new phone, my dad's number and messages were deleted. He died in 2008. I still haven’t deleted my uncle from FB, he died in 2020.
Mysterious_Battle585@reddit
My brother's still in there and it's been ten years.
potliquorz@reddit
At least the ones I was really close to then it would be forever, who knows how many deleted people I used to know are dead now. Coworkers and acquaintances and the like. I still have my Dad in my phone.
Shar950@reddit
I haven’t deleted contacts for my mom and two brothers and I probably won’t. I don’t have any voicemails or texts from any of them though.
WarrenKB@reddit
Typed Bob in the other day, only 1 out of 4 was still alive…
Mr_IT@reddit
Typed Dad in mine and 1 out of 1 is gone. 😢
WarrenKB@reddit
Sorry man. Lost mine over a decade ago and it still hurts.
I’ll have a bourbon later and toast to them both.
Mr_IT@reddit
So sorry man. It’s a shitty club to be a member of for sure.
cofclabman@reddit
I copy/paste their obituary into the notes for the contact. This way if I’m trying to remember details later it’s very easy to look them up.
The hardest one for me was doing this when my wife died.
Enlightened_Gardener@reddit
I’m so very sorry mate, that must have been so hard.
Jason_TheMagnificent@reddit
My mom past away in 2011 she's still in my list. I sometimes wished I kept her cell number so I can leave her voicemails.
supershinythings@reddit
After my father passed I kept his email active because I knew he had some online business.
I was shocked to see several of his friends and a half-sibling send him farewell emails after he passed.
I was so distraught - in hindsight it would have been almost funny but in horribly bad taste to respond.
I guess they thought the email account would be a dead end, or perhaps it was like the egyptian “door” to a tomb where people could converse with the dead. Since it seemed to have this ceremonial purpose, I kept it.
ZzzzzPopPopPop@reddit
So I know this is extreme, but I still have my old (bound paper) address book that I have had since High School - it has lots of dead people, countless old addresses crossed out and new ones written in (with a post-it note needed after too many cross-outs), lots of “see XXX" when someone changes heir last name, I write in the names of their kids and their birth dates, and several of the kids now have their own entry now that they are adult and on their own... It's like an archaeological record of the people I have known and their life events. I love it.
Enlightened_Gardener@reddit
No that’s gorgeous, not extreme at all. Its almost like a family bible, but for your friends.
Hemenucha@reddit
I usually put a Z in front of their name so it drops to the bottom of my list. It sucks. But some people I just can't delete.
altairstarlite@reddit
Good idea
frozen_charlotte@reddit
I just counted and I have 14 deceased in my contacts. I’ll probably keep them all but I did see some live ones that I’ll be deleting.
Repulsive-Carpet9400@reddit
Therese died 2 years ago.
Her kids and friends still keep her FB page open.
I like it.
somekindofhat@reddit
You know you can make those pages In Memoriam if you like.
Repulsive-Carpet9400@reddit
Yup
But I like seeing pics of her grandkids living it up in a kind of real time setting.
My ex wife's best friend who became one of my pals.
We stayed connected thru the bullshit. I miss her friendship.
dhkendall@reddit
Let’s let the great George Carlin be the definitive word as he always should be.
Poneke365@reddit
I only have one IRL and two in Reddit. I keep them there and like to think of them from time to time.
domesticatedprimate@reddit
They should just add a "Dead" category to contacts apps so you can leave them in for historical reasons but they don't show up in the regular listing and search.
Then they should add a function for some AI to spoof their phone numbers and call you up once in a while for shits and giggles.
Sconniegrrrl68@reddit
My Dad died 3/15/23 & I still have his contact in my phone. I will NEVER delete it ❤️
Tough_Ad6387@reddit
I really need to do this
88mistymage88@reddit
I'll keep my baby sister until I need a new phone. She was 51 and didn't deserve how she went out.
rich4pres@reddit
My baby sister was 46. She died a month ago. I was shocked, but not surprised. She was a diabetic and she didn’t take care of herself.
88mistymage88@reddit
Her ex killed her and sliced up her new boyfriend. Fucker was caught on camera running with the knife. It was December and he is still sitting in city jail.
Dogs_gus_lyla@reddit
Forever
Dogs_gus_lyla@reddit
That’s for the award 😊
Fantastic_Ice1932@reddit
facts💔✌️
Background-Cap-9047@reddit
Same, unless they were assholes, but then they were probably deleted before they died anyway.
Enlightened_Gardener@reddit
I never delete anyone. I never delete messages. I have voicemails from dead friends I can’t bear to listen to. It all goes into the phone, I will be buried with it, and it will come with me to the afterlife.
How are ya gunna let your mates in heaven you’ve arrived, and there’s a party happening, if you can’t text them to invite them ? How will you order beer and nibbles ?
Nah the Ancient Egyptians knew what was up. It all goes in the phone, it all stays in the phone, and it comes with me to the afterlife. Sorted.
Chemical_Author7880@reddit
So far, forever.
I had a few good friends who passed still on FB. I got hacked and had to delete and do a new one. This was about six years ago. Losing their connection was the hardest part.
I never go to FB anymore, not for years, in part because it mad me sad.
Daienlai@reddit
I’ll keep them there.
LuckyAd2714@reddit
Forever
TechnicolorTechbot@reddit
It took about 5 years before I deleted mom’s number. Since then everyone else has been deleted within a few months, same with their socials. It’s harder for me seeing their name in the phone than not. I have the memories, and that’s enough.
Next-Drummer-9280@reddit
My dad will remain until I die. Yes, I know his number has long since been recycled. I don’t care. It’s my DAD.
As will my mom when she goes.
My aunt is still in my phone. She passed away 6 years ago. I’ll probably keep hers, too.
My grandparents and my uncle were all dead before cell phones were a thing.
ExtemporaneousZeal@reddit
I’ve kept my dad for 8 years and my mom for 3 years. Good news is mom just joined Snapchat!
idk012@reddit
Is it mom mom, ghost mom, or another person using the number?
ExtemporaneousZeal@reddit
Kaeirra@reddit
I have an RIP contacts list. Theres 40 people on it. At least 30 of them are former coworkers. No. I wont ever delete that list….
ImaPhillyGirl@reddit
That is a great idea. I still have many deceased people on my contacts, and at least a dozen on Facebook. I can't imagine deleting them.
4158264146@reddit
I should probably do that today too
4158264146@reddit
Think I'll call them first just to make sure they weren't bullshitting
kilsekddd@reddit
I kept my wife's cell phone line active for 3 years because people would text her little tributes and things on her holidays and such. She's still the top contact on my favorites, even though I'm remarried (she's okay with that). Delete the contact? Nah, don't think I will.
WritingParking@reddit
I can’t even fathom what you’ve experienced. ♥️ and hugs.
BadkyDrawnBear@reddit
I accidentally deleted my mother from my contacts last week, she died ten years ago.
Kaethor@reddit
My stepmom took over my dad's phone when he died and she was too dumb to change the voicemail greeting, so I could call and hear his voice for a few years until she got a new phone with a new number. Now I'll never hear him again...
earlyboy@reddit
Facebook keeps my father's page fresh. I'd delete it, but how?
doryllis@reddit
You can report them as deceased if you are their friend and you have an online obituary to link to.
Cmorethecat@reddit
My mom and dad will stay in my phone.
Ok-Conversation-7292@reddit
Yup.
pigprof@reddit
Don’t worry, Google will put them back in regardless.
SHDrivesOnTrack@reddit
I haven’t done many yet but I know there must be at least a dozen in my contact list.
beansprout69@reddit
Honestly, I’m not sure if I’ll ever delete my MIL. It’s been 4 years. I struck gold when I got her as a MIL.
iftheygivinitaway@reddit
I'm in the same boat. My in-laws were an amazing couple. Lost them a year apart during Covid. One from Covid, and the other during Delta Covid, but from other issues. We couldn't see either at the hospital. Fucking sucked
Good_Grief_CB@reddit
I delete the numbers and messages eventually. It gets too hard to see them over and over. It doesn’t mean I forget about them - i never will - it’s just that I have this personal belief that holding on too tight keeps the other person stuck in some way as the recipient of my grief and I think that’s unfair of me to do. Just because we walk the earth in a particular identity doesn’t mean that’s all we are. That’s just a moment in time.
BraveLittleFrog@reddit
It is sobering. I kept my physical address book. I don’t have to delete those.
TXHaunt@reddit
I will never delete my cousin.
Inkblots2000@reddit
I got to 20 just glancing through my contacts today, and couldn’t keep counting… and couldn’t delete them. 😭
InTheMomentInvestor@reddit
Is it weird to say Happy Birthday to a dead person? I see it all the time on Facebook.
iftheygivinitaway@reddit
A bunch of us still go out on my (dead) ex girlfriend's birthday, because we always did when she was alive, and that's how we still want to celebrate knowing her. We usually get out between 8 and 12 people, and it's been 10 years already. We were friends long before and after we dated.
Personally, I have .ade it clear what I expect from my friends
Repulsive-Carpet9400@reddit
Happy Heavenly Birthday is a bit weird.
But, if it brings solace, I'm cool with it.
beezus_18@reddit
I wonder how often those posting don’t realize the person has died.
gimmemorepasta@reddit
I don’t delete them, can’t do it.
breadit8@reddit
Same.
MagnusThrax@reddit
Sometimes I still send them texts telling them how much I miss them and wish I could see them. Only for new owners to respond with apologies.
JackWylder@reddit
Five of my top eight favorites are no longer with us.
highnumber@reddit
I have never deleted anyone. GNU
Icy-Original-508@reddit
A good friend of mine passed over 10 years ago and she is still in my phone. I can’t bring myself to delete her number.
KarmaChameleon306@reddit
I don’t have it in me to do it.
ser_froops@reddit
Same.
KarmaChameleon306@reddit
It keeps them alive in my heart to at least some extent.
samuelp-wm@reddit
I still have two in my phone that I can not bring myself to delete.
michelle48073@reddit
My son died in 2017 still have his name/email/fb page Also is senior hs pic as my profile pic
stromm@reddit
I export everything using one of those windows programs that connects through iTunes and lets you save iMessages off to PDFs, photos and videos. Then I delete from my phone. And save to my NAS so I can remember later.
I screwed up and never kept any audio or have any video with my dad’s voice. He passed in 2011, and by 2013 I realized I couldn’t remember his voice. Only time I ever hear it is in dreams, where he’s usually lecturing me on something I thought was dumb at the time but definitely helped me later as an adult and parent, or grand-parent.
Few-Couple-8738@reddit
A few forever, can't bring myself to take them out...others after a few months or so
djshimon@reddit
I just add, RIP to the name so i don't try to text them accidentally. But it's nice to see their names and remember them.
PotAndPansForHands@reddit
I haven’t even thought to do this on my phone but there’s at least 10 or 15 dead people in my Facebook friend list. Not all of their relatives converted them to memorial profiles so I get “Wish this dead friend happy birthday!” messages often enough that it’s getting weird.
IWantTheLastSlice@reddit
It’s so telling about the actual state of connections when you see mutual FB friends wish that dead person a happy birthday. “Hope you have a great day!”
ThermalIgnition@reddit
You die twice. Once when you physically die, and once when everyone forgets you. I'm keeping my old contacts.
adashiel@reddit
I cleared my dad’s number out, but aside from a couple of butt dials he didn’t make calls. He barely knew how to use it. I have few contacts saved in any case.
MarcusAurelius68@reddit
I have 3 recommendations on LinkedIn from people who are now deceased.
BruceTramp85@reddit
I get those too. Makes me wonder whether there’s LinkedIn on the other side.
MarcusAurelius68@reddit
Well, they were alive when they wrote them. I figure we left off on a good note so I’m keeping them. Also, it’s unclear if one of the people is actually deceased.
theprofessorofrandom@reddit
I've got numbers from people that passed 16 years ago. My brother passed 6 years ago in August. Still have phones with his texts on them, amd a voice clip he made while drunk, along with a couple videos saved on an SD card that goes from phone to phone with his contact.
Stigger32@reddit
Why the fuck would you keep dead people’s numbers in your phone?
Also I hope you are aware that those same numbers were probably given out to the telcos customers randomly once the account was closed…
So now you have total strangers phone numbers in your contact list…
USAFGeekboy@reddit
Why the fuck wouldn’t I? Who are you to tell me how to remember my family that have passed on?
Yes, their numbers have since been reassigned and I don’t really fucking care. I have not pressed send once since they passed.
Stop judging people and take care of your own shit.
cleveland_leftovers@reddit
I don’t think OP intends to call them..
Ronald-J-Mexico@reddit
I had lunch with my step day in 2017, hadn't seen in him in years. He said if you live long enough, all your friends die.
He passed away last year. But him telling me that has stuck with me. Death isn't easy, it's final, it's hard to accept. It's part of life. I don't want to kickstart the process (smoking/drinking to excess etc).
The grim reaper has a future appointment with everyone. I just want to delay it for a lil while longer.
Thunderpuppy2112@reddit
I was looking thru my fb friends and I counted up to 10 dead people. I didn’t get half thru.
USAFGeekboy@reddit
Mom passed in 2009, dad in 2010, aunt last year, cousin in 2022. I still have their voicemails.
Famous_Cookie_7624@reddit
I think my mom will be in my phone forever 😥
tc_cad@reddit
I refuse to delete my Dad. I just can’t. I downloaded as many voicemails as were left on my phone and I listen to them a few times of year.
Same goes for my Mom, but the voicemails she left me were from her time with dementia so they don’t make sense so I never kept them. They are way too sad.
Appropriate_Mail6416@reddit
I just can’t. In some weird way it’s like if their name is there, they aren’t fully gone. They say we aren’t truly dead until the last person utters our name. I want to keep that as long as I can
PipEmmieHarvey@reddit
I don’t delete them. I like to still see them there.
Firm-Walk8699@reddit
I need to do this. I'm probably at about the same number. Sobering, and I hate to, but why keep them?
JenniferJuniper6@reddit
It took me about two years for me to be ready to change my phonebook entry from “Mom and Dad” to just “Dad.”
Whatisthisnonsense22@reddit
I don't.
My wife deletes hers right away.
KeKeFanChick@reddit
I don't delete them... I am sure my number is probably far higher-- we've had several bad years. 😞
Fair-Wishbone-1190@reddit
I can't.
conselyea@reddit
I don't
tkkana@reddit
Keeping my dad and my BIL, can't do it.
crickjaw@reddit
My parents died four years ago and they were still in my contacts until I got a new phone last fall.
CuteContribution4695@reddit
I keep them forever
Error262_USRnotfound@reddit
That’s a rough one I’m rocking at least 9 dead friends in my contacts.
Intelligent-Sun-7973@reddit
i wont ever.
Milky304@reddit
I’ve got 9, including my late husband, even though it’s been 8 years. I saved a few of his voicemails over the years. I wish I had more.
My late mother’s number I reluctantly deleted a few years ago and she’s been gone for over 15 treats now. I wish I had more of her voice. In her last months she was supposed to be recording her thoughts on to tape, but there were only two and the rest is empty: all her precious words lost to the ether because she was not pressing the right buttons.
Sadly, we are at the age where we lose people at a higher rate. Lost two last year and another on the way out this year. Mostly cancer, eff that.
jrtski@reddit
I do it every time I get a new phone.
KurtStation68@reddit
If I was lacking in phone memory or something related, I would. I know I probably should - like holding on to stuff it's painful but necessary.
bambam_mcstanky2@reddit
I have a friend that took his own life. It’s been 5 years. I still keep our email discussions and his last voicemail to me. So unprocessed grief is part but also I sometimes just want to be reminded of a good friend.
Intrepid_Practice956@reddit
I think the only dead people in my list are my grandmother and my father-in-law. I might take off Grandpa Otis because he and I didn't really get along, but my grandma is in there permanently because I smile when I run across her record.
81632371@reddit
I will never delete my grandparents (disconnected 2007) or my parents (2003/2025).
saffireaz@reddit
My dad's is still in there. Been gone 10 years now.
Embarrassed-Cause250@reddit
In my first experience, it was a co-worker who was also my friend. I mentioned to another mutual friend that I didn’t feel right deleting his number, so I would keep it. My friend said no, delete it now! What will you do if you receive a call from that number?
SpamLikely404@reddit
My contacts list is a black hole. One your in, there’s no getting out. I have thousands and no idea how many are dead.
mydarkerside@reddit
Still have my mom’s after almost 15 years.
itgoesineasy@reddit
I still have everyone in my phone. My Neice inherited my dad’s number so I added her name before his. Mom has been gone since 2008 and I still have her’s and the house phone number that they had since long before I was born.
Jamie8765@reddit
I have several friends that have passed, and I can't bring myself to delete them from social media accts.
ElSordo91@reddit
Like most others here, I have quite a few dead friends, relatives, and acquaintances in my contacts list (and on my Facebook account, though I'm rarely on FB these days). Probably won't bother to clean them out. They were in the address book/friends list for a reason, and I don't want to lose that, especially for close relatives.
grateful_john@reddit
I got a call a couple weeks ago from a dead person. A friend died (suicide, very sad) a day after I called him to shoot the shit and (I thought) make plans to get together. He never listened to my voicemail. A couple days later I got a call from his number - his sister was going through his phone and returning his unanswered voicemails. It was weird as hell seeing his number come up on my phone.
I have several other dead people saved on my phone.
Ok_Onion_5160@reddit
I have kept my mom and my son in my contacts after their death because seeing their names gives me comfort. Everyone else got deleted.
Zadyria_Gelm@reddit
I set Mom's to "memorial"
LaVida2@reddit
I have kept mine but I did add (deceased) after their name
nightmer5@reddit
My dad's been gone 4.5 years and I still have his contact in my phone. No plan to delete it.
ThoseThievingBitches@reddit
Took me about a year to delete my parents.
MrBlahg@reddit
I removed mine from my favorites list, but I still have voicemails I want to keep. I recently listened to my mom’s voice after about 3 1/2 years since she died, my dad about 9 months ago… had a very cathartic cry.
ThoseThievingBitches@reddit
Thank you.
Boneyard45@reddit
Im purposely keeping voicemails from my mom. Some I’ve never listened to. Just to have them when the inevitable happens
ScarletCarsonRose@reddit
keeping them all.
BruceTramp85@reddit
I delete them right away so I don’t absently call or text them.
What did break my heart was finally deleting years of near-daily texts from a close friend who took his own life. I did it a year after. They were madness, no other word for it. I loved him, but he’d lost his mind. As for photos, they’re on my phone under Hidden so I have to consciously open them.
KNT-cepion@reddit
I’ve got three in my phone with the oldest span since death being four years.
I am such a sentimental person. At this point I feel no compulsion to remove those contacts at all.
stannc00@reddit
I deleted a few numbers but I kept the contact. Eventually the numbers get reassigned.
YOUTUBE-BLACKBELT@reddit
My mom's last days of me talking to her is on my phone and I will never erase it. Also two brothers as well.
randombarbs@reddit
forever
randombarbs@reddit
especially my brother
BeyondtheDuneSea@reddit
Truly the worst feeling. I keep them all. I cherish the dialogues we once had. But to add to this, I only have close contacts in my phone, friends of 20 or 30 plus years.
merightno@reddit
Same. I refuse to delete them out. I do put my dead Facebook contacts into a group called deceased. I know it's going to get messy in the future and I don't even care. I'm not deleting them.
PurrfectlyMediocre@reddit
I can't bring myself to do it. The ones that were younger than me are the hardest to face... like my niece who should have been 23 this year.
Lthrr9@reddit
I keep them because people sometimes tag them and post old photos.
somePig_buckeye@reddit
My dad died 10 years ago and my grandma 16 years ago, uncle died 3 years ago. Their numbers are still in my phone. I won’t get rid of them.
thebrokedown@reddit
My mom and husband are still in my speed dial. My husband died more than 5 years ago.
kbivs@reddit
Yeah, if my husband were to pass before me I would never be able to delete their contact. I also still have both of my parents in my contacts. I can't delete them.
BeebsMuhQueen@reddit
I don’t have social media, (Facebook etc with people you know) so I don’t know if anyone has died, anymore. (Probably) but I didn’t keep contacts on my phone lol.
It was sad back when I had social media years ago… to see at least a couple deaths a year. I would overthink stuff and get depressed, too.
Like I have a phone, but hardly use it as a phone lol
queenknitter2@reddit
My mom is still in my phone. I don't know that I'll ever delete her.
I have several friends in there too. I just can't.
RoninRobot@reddit
Have voicemails from my dead father. Even though they’re all “Hey, call me back.” I can’t bring myself to neither listen nor delete.
Latitude22@reddit
Same but I downloaded them and listen to them once in a while to remember his voice.
Mushy-sweetroll@reddit
I never delete them
useventeen@reddit
I also never delete them
357eve@reddit
I keep them all. I appreciate their presence still. I have saved photos of my mentors for lack of a better word but really they're people who taught me something in a separate folder. When I feel down, I go through them and it helps me feel grateful for the gifts they shared and the memories that continue on.
strategicscientific@reddit
If they're people I love, I refuse to delete them. And I guess I haven't encountered any acquaintances/frenemies passing yet. Oh, actually, I just remembered one. I'll probably delete the contact now, thanks for the reminder!
Maleficent_Insect71@reddit
I still have my grandparents in my contacts. I also still have a voicemail from my grandmother saved on my phone. They've been gone for 10 years now. I can't delete any of it. Around Christmas, I still listen to that voicemail. I always put their tree up, and that voicemail is of my grandmother asking when I can come to do it. She died that February after the voicemail.
lifesshortgoplay@reddit
I’d have done the very same
MidwestAbe@reddit
Whenever I scroll past them. Its not something I need to keep.
TrainingLow9079@reddit
I only have one such person and I've kept them there like 10 years....
FrankParkerNSA@reddit
My firat wife died in 2018. While I converted her cell to a Google voice line - I still haven't removed her contact name on my phone. Not really sure if I will.
Impossible_Storm_427@reddit
I delete nothing ever. I also don’t save willy nilly. So you’re only saved if you matter.
toiletcleaner999@reddit
Lost my dad 2 years ago ,I still text his number and I saved his outgoing VM message so I can hear his voice. I text to let him know I graduated his grandson got engaged. I learned a new song on the guitar. I figure one day someone will answer then ill stop
AshDenver@reddit
Forever. Eventually the iCloud backup will disappear and take all of my contacts with it.
gornzilla@reddit
They'll stay there until I'm dead.
Cleverironicusername@reddit
I was basically no contact with my father but I still have the last kind message he left me before he passed five years ago. I keep it to remind myself he wasn’t always an asshole.
Other than that, I’ve been pretty lucky with the death count so far.
bruce-neon@reddit
Currently at 11 or 12, never deleted any of em. It does jolt the memory when you see them in a search or scroll.
arianrhodd@reddit
Yep. Many I'll keep forever. 🪦 🕊️
AimeeB75@reddit
I leave them. One is my brother, the other one is one of my closest friends. My grandpa is still in there too. Seeing their names in my contacts still gives me a little grasp of normalcy.
Careless_Ocelot_4485@reddit
My kept my mom’s cellphone number for a long time just so he could hear her voicemail greeting. That was 16 years ago. I still have my MIL in my Contacts even though she’s been gone 7 years.
respectandmanners@reddit
I nuked my contacts that I had been keeping since 2001 recently. Went down from about 7k to about 200
eastbaypluviophile@reddit
My MIL died a few weeks ago. Her funeral is this week. I will probably not delete her because going back and looking at her texts is a great way to feel like she’s still here.
NatashaMuse@reddit
Just curious-- what's the point of deleting the contacts? It doesn't take up much memory, does it?
BFR5er@reddit
It’s about letting go and being fully at peace with them being gone.
Fish-Weekly@reddit
One of the most painful things is receiving the messages from LinkedIn “[Dead Coworker] is celebrating 28 years at Megacorp”. But they’re gone.
If there’s any silver lining, it lets me pause and remember them for a moment and reminds me of my own mortality.
Guardsred70@reddit
I have a couple of old voice mails from dead business colleagues. They just drag around in my old VMs.
funsk8mom@reddit
When my mom in law died, my husband turned her landline into my son’s cellphone number. I don’t have the heart to change the name. When my son calls, her name still comes up
MarquisInLV@reddit
I honor the dead by keeping them in my address book.
MrGMEYagi@reddit
Same. I have dozens. I could never bring myself to remove them from my contacts. I could be scrolling through, see their name, and spur a pleasant memory of loved ones passed.
CurlyCupcake1231@reddit
The only one I can’t get myself to delete is my dad. He’s been gone 7 years
healthyitch@reddit
Me too. My dad passed last year. Kept his contact info, his face icon still shows in my iMessage favorites and I’ve saved his voice mails to an external drive. Just want to keep his memory alive and recent for a while longer.
CurlyCupcake1231@reddit
((HUGS))
doubleohzerooo0@reddit
Thanks for the reminder.
Went through my contacts, merged one duplicate contact.
Unblocked my asshole brother. Fuck it, he's still gonna be an asshole.
Had a couple dead contacts. I really don't want to get rid of them. One is my dad. Same reason I still have a voicemail from him from before he got sick with cancer. It's been almost 3 years and I still can't bring myself to listen to his voicemail.
The other is my old shipmate, Bony. Cancer sucks, Bony. Shoulda got that shit looked at, ya fuck.
Other than that, nah nobody got the axe.
NightingaleNine@reddit
If you die on me, you live on in my phone forever.
thatto@reddit
Their contact remains. But they get zzz prepended to their name. It puts them at the bottom of my list, but doesn't remove anything
No-Gas-8357@reddit
I leave them if they are people I was close to.
nygenxmom@reddit
I can’t delete them from my contacts, it was bad enough deleting them from my holiday card list.
The_Pharoah@reddit
yeah I have contacts but primarily on FB. My dad (who passed over 10 years ago) still has an FB page up. Every year on his birthday I'll post a happy birthday to him. He died overseas so I can't visit his grave (unless I actually go there) so this is my little token. His birthday is the day after mine so quite easy to remember.
RizzmwitTheTism@reddit
I leave them
EfficientPermit3771@reddit
Fugh. It’s something I’ve been putting off. It’s really sad.
Just-aMidwestGuy@reddit
I just did the same thing last week.
deedeejayzee@reddit
I keep them forever. I have a 10yo voicemail that I have kept, too
nothathappened@reddit
I can’t delete them. Not off of social media or my phone…it’s hard enough that that they’re gone. And I still have their texts and a couple voicemails, if I delete their contact info, then those become just random numbers. The love I have for them isn’t gone.
Ok-Somewhere-2325@reddit
I dont ,
positivepinetree@reddit
I never delete them.
Pale-Way-8731@reddit
Honestly, I won’t remember to delete them until my phone says I’ve run out of room.
Majestic-Pilot3718@reddit
I can't delete my mom it's just to permanent
LJ1205E@reddit
My godmother passed in 2018. I still have her contact.
My oldest brother passed in 2024. I still have his contact and a voicemail from him 3 months before he passed. I also have dozens of texts. I can’t listen and I can’t read them. It’s too painful. But I know they are there.
Alovingcynic@reddit
I keep them
memeof1@reddit
I keep them
DreamTheaterGuy@reddit
I can’t delete my parents. I still have a few VMs I listen to sometimes.
Maleficent_Theory818@reddit
I uploaded my mom's last VM's to my google drive and saved them in iTunes.
AnxiousCheesehead@reddit
I can’t- they are there and I just can’t. I waited too long and my contacts will shrink too much
Kind_Introduction_39@reddit
OMG! I started to do this yesterday but it made me really sad. I kept a couple so I can remember.
BallisticHabit@reddit
A close friend of mine died suddenly from an overdose about 7 years ago while in treatment.
I still have her number saved, and still miss her.
Sibby_in_May@reddit
I keep them forever.
ll_JTreehorn_ll@reddit
Same.
Just doesn't seem right to delete them.
base632@reddit
I got sober 10 years ago. I have unfortunately a very long list of dead friends and acquaintances in my phone to this day. For me it is a harsh reminder of where I could end up if I chose to go back to that life of misery and pain.
marcduberge@reddit
I have a friend who took his life 23 years ago. I can’t bring myself to delete it. RIP Kelly, you have missed so much and been missed by so many
RxkMadam@reddit
I keep them. I still text my best friend who died five years ago.
Effective_Farmer_119@reddit
I don’t delete them. Just in case they want to call. Not being funny, it’s just a happy thought that crosses my mind when I see their names.
Voodoocat-99@reddit
Can’t bring myself to do that
Sudden_Fix_1144@reddit
I’ve kept my parents ones, but that’s it….. even though it’s been years can’t bring myself to delete them
KerryBoehm@reddit
I have never deleted any contacts from my phone. Prob at least a dozen dead people.
False-Storm-5794@reddit
I see text threads from friends who died two to three years ago and can't bring myself to delete them. But I don't read them either.
FAx32@reddit
I have a very limited number of people that I would call. I have hundreds of phone numbers but many of them were people I knew when I lived in a totally different city 20 years ago that I haven't seen since. I don't bother to try to delete them. Some may be dead for all I know.
So, the answer is likely as long as I am alive those who have died will be in there.
WillDupage@reddit
Friend, I still have the address book I got as a high school graduation present. Want Uncle Albert & Aunt Augusta’s phone number from 1989? Got it. Never mind neither of them made it to this century.
I don’t delete that stuff.
TeasenHS@reddit
Right away I don’t want them calling me and freaking me out
Dry_Feedback_7090@reddit
This is the correct answer lol.
Oddly enough my daughter passed away at 15, 2 years later I got an email from someone with her name. They googled their name and my daughter was very well known and this person felt the need to reach out to me. Gave me a freaking heart attack. Cried for 2 days.
Sugar_bytes@reddit
I’ve texted them sometimes. Even if the person with the new number gets an I miss and love you lots I doubt it will ruin their day.
Extreme_Qwerty@reddit
Why'd you do that? They may call you back, and give you hot tips about the afterlife.
Moonsmom181@reddit
I only have 2 in my phone, my Maternal Grandparents. I just can’t delete them. (Papa passed away over a decade ago, and Nana just 3 years).
JoyDVeeve@reddit
Not going to do it
midnight_woe@reddit
My godmother is still in my phone and she died of pancreatic cancer 6 years ago.
HerNameIsVesper@reddit
I will never delete my mother, my brother or my birth father. Just seeing their names brings me a sense of happiness (tinged with loss, of course...)
Dry_Feedback_7090@reddit
Ooooof that’s rough. I haven’t deleted anyone who’s passed. I think of them when I see their names. Never want them to be forgotten
thewatchwinder@reddit
so, i think thats based on the person and why they dont delete it immediately. if someone i know would die (hasnt happened since the 90's...those were OD's), id delete their stuff right away.
my moms contact is a different story. i left that in my phone and left the texts we had intact for posterity. im 53 and expect that at some point people i know on a social level will die. unless there was something i wanted to keep, id delete them right away.
MikeisET@reddit
Sadly, my brother is still on there
Not sure when or if I’ll delete it