How to get the hospital to take me seriously (women)?

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Neither-Initiative54@reddit

take a man with you to the GP and get him to explain how much it affects you and because you cant do X it affects him / means he cant have sex with you/ means he has to look after you. even if he isnt your partner just borrow a man and lie about him being your partner.

it is a very sad fact that male privilege is a thing with Doctors and it gets things taken more seriously because poor guy must be bad. Rather thsn "ah you're clearly a hysterical woman "

Friends husband is a trans man so has had the rare experience of seeing Doctors as a woman and as a man. He says it is astonishing how much more seriously he is taken now and how much more seriously his wife is taken with him there as a man.

mental and sad but true.

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taureannightmare@reddit

Reading this as I am currently dying on my sofa with horrendous period pains. In a very similar boat to you, OP - my dysmenorrhoea has been present since I started getting periods 19 years ago and has been getting exponentially worse the past few years. Missing so much time off work, doing social things, just living - and nothing on tests thus far.

I've just submitted a begging eConsult to my practice asking for a face-to-face review.

Hope you manage to get some help too, this is miserable x

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

I hope you’re feeling a lot better now💕

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PomegranateEither768@reddit

Tell them its affecting your male partner or you're trying for a baby and its getting in the way of it. Sadly, I am serious. Medical misogyny is alive and well, unless your suffering directly impacts a man, you just get brushed off constantly.

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ames_lwr@reddit

This is a bit fucked up but I’ve heard it works - tell them you want to try for a baby and you can’t come off birth control because of the problems you’ve had for years

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whatatwit@reddit

In addition to my audio links in the comments this came up today and may be of interest:

By coincidence. Hot of the press. Article 2026-06-01.

Emma Barnett: We can't ignore this disease that leaves one in 10 women like me in agony

Chloe is making one of the hardest decisions a woman can make. After previous surgery failed to reduce the "horrendous" pain caused by her endometriosis, she is planning to have hysterectomy at the age of 26 - removing her womb and ending her chances of having a child.

[…]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/topics/c42rjev3x2jt

Watch 2026-06-01 2100

Emma Barnett: Fighting Endometriosis

Emma Barnett shares her life-long struggle with endometriosis – a disease affecting one in ten women of reproductive age, which causes excruciating, often debilitating, pain.

Inside Emma’s body, rogue cells similar to the lining of the womb mysteriously appear on other organs, creating lesions which bleed, scar and cause inflammation. There is no cure. Endometriosis is as common as diabetes but receives a fraction of the research funding.

Emma travels across the UK to meet a few of the millions of women who, like her, are suffering. Through candid conversations, they reveal the extent to which endometriosis is devastating the lives of women – affecting fertility, work and loved ones.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002x8nb

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Illustrious-Plum1766@reddit

Make an appointment with your GP surgery. Doesn’t matter if it’s with a GP or not.

Politely insist you need to be referred to secondary care (hospital). Explain that nothing has helped and it has been X time.

KEY POINT to make: NICE guidance states you should be referred if this is late onset, as in after years of normal periods.

NICE also states you should be referred after 3-6 months if treatment doesn’t help.

https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/dysmenorrhoea/

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Spicymargx@reddit

There’s also Jess’s rule which is that if you see your GP 3 times and they can’t help, you should be referred.

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Illustrious-Plum1766@reddit

That was after my time - I spent 15 years stuck in this same situation.

Thanks for the tip though! Going back soon for migraine for the…15th time in my life?! Unless ambulances count 🙈

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Spicymargx@reddit

I suffer with migraine too. My understanding is its own condition technically, rather than a symptom of another condition. It can be triggered by other conditions but it’s an issue in and of itself. As far as I’m aware there is no cure unless you have a specific trigger than can be realistically eliminated and my experience has been neurologists are only really looking to ensure there’s nothing more sinister going on. It’s a chronic health issue so not sure what more anyone can do other than prescribe preventatives and relief meds. I did have some reduction in frequency and intensity when I had acupuncture via physio (private) but don’t think that’s available on the NHS. What were you hoping for from the GP? Maybe I’ve resigned myself to them being part of my life too easily

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Illustrious-Plum1766@reddit

None of the relief or prevention meds have worked for me. The only thing that ever worked was cannabis, which I used as migraine relief for a few years with great success.

So mainly, I want to know if there’s anything else they can try. Because I’ve logged them faithfully for a decade and no-one can identify common triggers.

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Spicymargx@reddit

You might be eligible for Botox next which I’ve heard is life changing.

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Illustrious-Plum1766@reddit

I’m holding so! Cosmetic Botox helped a bit but my provider (a plastic surgeon) went into “wellness” instead 🙄

I don’t trust anyone else to medium term paralyse my face!

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Spicymargx@reddit

Masseter Botox has helped me a lot but I’ve not found anyone CQC registered to do medical Botox for migraines for me and I’ve not been guinea pig for long enough on meds for the NHS to provide it for me

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Illustrious-Plum1766@reddit

The relevant section of the guidance.

If they decline to refer you then 1) tell them to document that in your medical records, and 2) call and ask to speak to the practice manager. Tell the practice manager that you want to submit a complaint for substandard care.

Mainly they’ll take the easy option and refer you, because you’ve trapped them by knowing the rules.

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Obvious-Water569@reddit

Firstly, so sorry you're having to go through this.

My fiancee had the same experience and finally self-referred via NHS right to choose. She waited a few weeks for the appointment but once she had it, the private doctor she saw was absolutely incredible. She was referred for a laparoscopic hysteroscopy and underwent the surgery a couple of months later. They treated an absolute mess of endomitriosis and removed a cyst the size of a tennis ball.

She still suffers some pain but it's nowhere near as crippling or frequent.

So yeah. The next time you speak to your GP, tell them you'd like to escalate this to an appropriate specialist under the right to choose system. They should be able to provide you with all the information you need.

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Bio-nerd_@reddit

If you're in England there is something known as "Jess' rule" https://www.england.nhs.uk/long-read/jesss-rule-three-strikes-and-we-rethink/ ask your GP about this if you've been to them multiple times and ask them to make a referral.

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mildlydepression@reddit

This is why I'm on this site! Thanks for sharing, I had no idea this exists.

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AffectionateJump7896@reddit

It's very new, so is under close monitoring to see how it goes.

Historically the medical attitude was that the patient doesn't know best - the doctor knows best.

But as the health service is under ever more pressure, doctors are stretched thinner and are more busy, more gets missed. And patients have more information available to them, so the old attitude is ever less valid.

So we will see - some patients will be put through unnecessary and painful tests and treatments, and some will get life-saving care that would otherwise have slipped through the cracks.

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TroublesomeFox@reddit

In my experience the patient usually diagnoses themselves correctly in the first instance if it's something that's become chronic, especially for gynecology issues.

I am known to have severe endometriosis that is outside my pelvis and yet it took 4, FOUR, years of insistence on my part for them to look for scar endometriosis. I was told I couldn't have that because it's really rare. Sure enough 🫠

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blueroses8000@reddit

That’s such a messed up logic, if something is really rare then..it exists. Why does it mean you can’t have it?

Someone has to have it for it to be called rare! It would have to not exist for them to confidently be able to say you can’t have it.

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peppermint_aero@reddit

"Rare" usually means "underdiagnosed" or "under-recognised" or "we spent an hour on this at medical school" especially if you're a woman or a member of an ethnic minority.

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MaleficentSwan0223@reddit

I have something very rare for my age.

I went to the doctors about it for years and was told consistently it was anxiety.

It wasn’t anything related to mood. I was going in and saying things like ‘ when I reach for things, bend down, get hugged to tight my chest buckles and I get a severe pain. I think it needs to be investigated’

Now I go for any reason and I get told no need to investigate it’s rare and I’m like have you read my medical notes?

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BeatificBanana@reddit

Wow, what is it that you have?

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MaleficentSwan0223@reddit

I was diagnosed with severe osteoporosis at 29.

My specialist says he’s never seen anyone with the numbers I have under 50 and my bones (specifically one of my vertebrae) are crumbling.

It’s reversible if caught before 30. I was 2 months away when diagnosed but spent my mid 20’s badgering the doctors about it and getting nowhere but offers of cbt.

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TroublesomeFox@reddit

I know 😭😭 but you tell them that and watch them make up something random to justify it.

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jiggjuggj0gg@reddit

But you're young and once had anxiety, best I can do is tell you to have a bath and give you some sertraline x

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Khaleesi1536@reddit

It also raises the question of, is it really as rare as they say or is it because they don’t bother looking for it so they have fewer documented cases by default?

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whatatwit@reddit

There's a relevant episode of "What's Up Docs" and the related slightly more detailed "Doctors' Notes" on endometriosis where they talk with a researcher in the subject Dr Chi Eziefula, Associate Professor in Global Health and Infection.

What's Up Docs. How can we better understand endometriosis?

In this episode, Chris and Xand dive into endometriosis, a condition that occurs when cells similar to the ones in the lining of the womb (uterus) grow in other areas of the body. It affects around one in ten women of reproductive age, often causing severe pain, mental health issues and in some cases, it can result in infertility. In this episode, the doctors discuss the symptoms of endometriosis, the theories about its biological mechanisms and underlying cause, and why the condition is under-researched and under-funded, resulting in patients waiting on average 7.5 years to be diagnosed.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m002rqlw

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002rqlw

NB Also available as a podcast and an MP3 (see the tabs)

Here's the corresponding, slightly more in depth episode:

Doctors' Notes: Endometriosis

Chris and Xand continue their conversation about endometriosis with Dr Chi Eziefula, Associate Professor in Global Health and Infection at Brighton and Sussex Medical School.

The doctors want to know what the deeper biology of endometriosis is, how general attitudes around women’s health impact the time it takes to be diagnosed with conditions, and if we are seeing any change in the research and social landscape surrounding endometriosis. They also explore how medical training impacts doctors' ability to identify and diagnose women’s health conditions like endometriosis, which currently have an average time to diagnosis of seven and a half years.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0n2s4hk

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0n2s4hk

Related podcasts/streams:

Doctors' Notes: Menstrual Health

Chris and Xand are back with a bonus episode, as they continue their conversation with Dr Chi Eziefula, Associate Professor in Global Health and Infection and menstrual health expert.

They talk about how menstrual health is covered in medical school, delve further into the stigma that still surrounds it, and what institutions are doing - or not doing - about it.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this or any other topic covered on the podcast, you email us at whatsupdocs@bbc.co.uk or Whatsapp on 08000 665 123.

Presenters: Drs Chris and Xand van Tulleken
Guest: Dr Chi Eziefula
Producers: Maia Miller-Lewis and Jo Rowntree
Executive Producer: Rami Tzabar
Editor: Kirsten Lass
Researcher: Grace Revill
Tech Lead: Reuben Huxtable
Social Media: Leon Gower
Digital Lead: Richard Berry
Composer: Phoebe McFarlane
Sound Design: Ruth Rainey

At the BBC:
Assistant Commissioner: Greg Smith
Commissioning Editor: Rhian Roberts

A Loftus Media production for BBC Radio 4.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0m081db

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0m081db

28ish Days Later

28ish Days Later: Education for all of us about menstruation. In episode 1 we get an anatomy lesson and meet the ovaries, the cervix and the muscular heart-coloured uterus with its fragile attachments, the fallopian tubes, and learn how the endometrium, changes colour during the monthly cycle.

https://old.reddit.com/r/BritishRadio/comments/vrx5es/28ish_days_later_education_for_all_of_us_about/

This was just in the news:

Adenomyosis

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx21vgz77rgo

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660trail@reddit

It really isn't that rare. They tell you that so they don't have to investigate.

I started going to my GP for bad period pains in my mid teens. I went back and went back. They did a D&C, but it made no difference. I was just fobbed off.

I went back many times - nothing. I was eventually diagnosed with severe endo 50 (fifty) years later when I had to have a transvaginal USS for another reason, and subsequently surgery to remove my ovaries.

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TroublesomeFox@reddit

Your sort of right, endometriosis isn't rare, but scar endometriosis specifically is rare.

It's utter bollocks really, I had pretty much every fucking sign of scar endometriosis right down to my scar changing colour at times and I was already known to have one of the more aggressive forms and they still did every possible thing to brush me off.

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660trail@reddit

I think they try to brush people off generally, especially women. Otherwise we wouldn't need the NICE guidelines and things like Jess's rule. Apparently, endo involving one ureter is rare, and involving both ureters even rarer. However, I know 2 people with that.

I don't think things are as rare as they say, they just don't get diagnosed in a lot of people, and therefore remain 'rare' because the numbers of actual cases is under-recorded.

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TroublesomeFox@reddit

I do agree with that! I have it on one ureter and possibly my diaphragm. The issue I had specifically is that because they think its rare whenever I brought up the possibility of me having it they brushed it off because it's rare 🫠

But also, I remember when endometriosis itself was considered rare, now we know thats not true. I suspect they'll be doing many u turns when they decide to give a fuck .

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Professional_Belt451@reddit

yeah that’s a pretty honest breakdown of how messy the system has gotten, sometimes you get better outcomes just by being persistent but it’s not exactly reassuring either

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feebsiegee@reddit

Would Jess' rule apply to my lifelong sleep issues?

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salutdamour@reddit

Definitely invoke Jess’s rule or contact your local PALs service to complain and ask for a gynae referral
Or, service varies wildly from Gp to GP unfortunately - can you go to a different one?
My family GP fobbed me off with “periods are meant to hurt” and I went to a different one and he referred me for scans right away

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Garden-Rose-8380@reddit

I went to the Dr and she tried to palm me off so I told her I am not leaving this office till you send me for a scan and she did. Had the ultrasound and immediately scheduled for tumour removal. You know your body so be assertive about it.

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OkSun8521@reddit

This is not appropriate behaviour.

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Garden-Rose-8380@reddit

Quite frankly it is life saving behaviour so your disapproval can take a hike.

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OkSun8521@reddit

Bullying a doctor?

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Garden-Rose-8380@reddit

No. I was being honest. I said I know what broken bones and severed tendons feel like and this pain was worse. I then said I know something is very wrong and I am not leaving until I get a scan.

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OkSun8521@reddit

What are your medical qualifications?

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SongsAboutGhosts@reddit

This is such a wild argument when they were right?

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OkSun8521@reddit

For every 1 person who turns out to be right, there are 1000 who were wrong and would clog up the system with unnecessary scans.

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Glad-Pomegranate6283@reddit

I was gaslit for a year, told I was anxious and then was admitted and needed urgent surgery. That’s also happened with many of my conditions, there’s no recreational benefits to surgeries or scans

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throw3428@reddit

Terrible ragebait

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BarryLawyer@reddit

Sometimes it is necessary.

2 months ago my mum went to the doctor multiple times with ongoing issues. The doctor kept fobbing it off as an infection and just prescribed throat spray and steroid pills.

Tomorrow i have a meeting with my solicitor to go over my mums Will as she passed away a few weeks ago from stage 4 cancer which we could had known about if the doctor actually did their job

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OkSun8521@reddit

What makes you think you know better than the doctor?

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BarryLawyer@reddit

Because my brother had the exact same symptoms and was diagnosed with cancer. Yet this was ignored when my mum came with the same symptoms mate 👍

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OkSun8521@reddit

That's not how medicine works, sorry.

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BarryLawyer@reddit

What on earth are you on about? Who is talking about medicine? We are talking about doctors taking action and referring people for tests for potential diagnosis.

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OkSun8521@reddit

Who is talking about medicine? We are talking about doctors taking action and referring people for tests for potential diagnosis.

That's literally what medicine is.

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BarryLawyer@reddit

Don’t know what type of medical care you get but medicine comes after a diagnosis bro

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OkSun8521@reddit

Is English not your first language?

the science dealing with the preserving of health and with preventing and treating disease or injury:

Source: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/medicine

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BarryLawyer@reddit

Am i going to believe a dictionary and some pillock on reddit or my mrs who is training to be a doctor?

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OkSun8521@reddit

So she's at university? What is the name of her course?

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BarryLawyer@reddit

Are you actually ok?

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OkSun8521@reddit

What is the name of her course?

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BarryLawyer@reddit

Medicine yet that has nothing to do with it

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OkSun8521@reddit

lol

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BarryLawyer@reddit

Lol checks the state of you

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Dainflynnty@reddit

I’m so sorry for your loss. My favourite auntie was going to the drs repeatedly for 18months with severe stomach pains and she was fobbed off, GP didn’t even feel her stomach. Tried to give her opiates and NSAIDs for the pain but didn’t send her for a test until she collapsed. Even when she was begging.

She died of stage 4 stomach cancer. We are also suing. This has to change.

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BarryLawyer@reddit

We are the same. We intend to sue but it is an impossible challenge getting her medical records

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Past-Anything9789@reddit

Bullying - not acceptable in any instance. But assertively asking for a specific course of action, that is what you need to do sometimes .

Bare in mind the action (ordering a scan / making a referral to a specialist) is one that only they (GP / PCP) can make happen. Plus you are only asking because you KNOW there's something seriously wrong. That's when we must self advocate.

I have the greatest if respect for the medical profession, especially with how chaotic and underfunding our health system is - but the patient is the one who knows themselves best.

My Mum is in a wheelchair because she was too nice to insist that the doctor took her seriously. I also have a life long illness that was misdiagnosed as depression for 10 years. An illness that I specifically asked the doctor about and they said "it doesn't matter, treatment is the same". Shocker - it wasn't.

So I know that assertive self advocacy is essential to make your prefered course of action clear. If they want to argue against it, let them rationalise it for you. Let them explain what they think is happening and why.

I've yet to come across a medical professional who will point blank say they don't believe you, so it put the onus back on them to explain their unwillingness.

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flowers-again@reddit

Nice. Did you ever approach the doctor with the result? If so what did they say

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ney11mar@reddit

Isn't that wildly inappropriate? Acting like you don't know what period pains are like? Like you say service really varies

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salutdamour@reddit

I wish I’d made a formal complaint but I was only 19 at the time

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

I’m in Scotland:( but thanks for sharing hopefully will help others!

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everyoneelsehasadog@reddit

The hospital won't help - keep it up with your GP. Ask for a referral. Outline how their suggestions have not helped and ask them to escalate it. If they don't, as them to outline in writing why they won't escalate it.

My gp only cared about my 6mo long periods when I said "well it's stopping my having sex with my husband".

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jus_plain_me@reddit

Has your GP actually pawned you off though?

You've said they've trialled painkillers and different birth control methods, those sound like attempts to control your symptoms.

If the treatment so far hasn't helped you just need to go back to the GP for the next step. If the GP says they can't do anything for you, then you see a different GP.

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pusopdiro@reddit

If they've made no attempt to diagnose OP then they are being fobbed off.

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swansw9@reddit

The national guidance for painful periods states to treat with painkillers and hormonal treatments in the first instance, because for many people this will be sufficient and therefore avoid uncomfortable (internal ultrasound) or potentially risky (laparoscopic surgery) diagnostic tests. Obviously the OP still feels dismissed by their GP which is not acceptable, however not immediately resorting to diagnostic investigations is not necessarily wrong.

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pusopdiro@reddit

Yes, but OP said they've gone multiple times. It clearly isn't sufficient for them.

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jus_plain_me@reddit

But we don't know how many times, the context is important and we're assuming details.

Lots of patients I've seen in hospital see their GP a couple times and tell me they've come to hospital because they believe their GP isn't doing anything, but in reality their GP is going through the appropriate steps but the pt isn't re-engaging with their GP, thinking their management isn't working.

But that's how medicine is done sometimes, when a patient has a condition that is unclear in origin you go through the least invasive, simpler management options first before going down the nuclear options.

I suspect this could be what's happening here. But if not, I did follow with "see a different GP" if this isn't the case and OP has genuinely seen their GP many many times as repeated visits over 2 years without a referral to Gynae is questionable.

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wildeaboutoscar@reddit

I think in that case, communication needs to be made clearer about the patient journey from the outset. That they will try this and then if it doesn't work come back and we will do something else. I'm sure a lot of GPs do this anyway (in my experience some have and some haven't), but maybe there's something that can be done to set expectations better in general.

Given it's such an emotional and personal thing to have medical issues, anything that can help bring clarity is worth doing.

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jus_plain_me@reddit

communication needs to be made clearer about the patient journey

10000000000%. It's why in med schools massive amounts of time is geared towards learning about patient communication.

The problem is a GP has 10 minutes to see you. That's 10 minutes to find out what's wrong (so taking a patient history and examination), come up with a management plan, talk to you about it and then document the appointment.

I cannot do this. I've been a doctor (not a GP) for a decade and for me to see a brand new patient and do the above I need about 40 min.

The system is a joke and both doctors and patients are suffering.

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motivatedfatty@reddit

Thank you!!! “You’re just not listening to me doc, o don’t feel like anyone is taking me seriously”

Me: done every blood test under the sun, trialled non-hormonal then hormonal medication, got an ultrasound (normally normal in endometriosis), referred to gynae (2 year wait to be seen then will be another year for a diagnostic lap if and only if BMI is under 35), offered a mirena (generally declined)

Wish this was a rarity but happens alllll the time with various conditions!!

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TroublesomeFox@reddit

I'd argue that having this continue despite attempts to deal with it for TWO YEARS is wrong tbh. Doctors ignored my increasing complaints of pain and me telling them that I could feel that my endometriosis had gotten worse and now I'm losing most of my reproductive organs because of it. They took three years to do an MRI, by which point it had taken out one ovary, most of my sigmoid colon and my pouch of Douglas is less a pouch and more just gone. Unless there's something not stated in her post I don't see a valid reason they couldn't have done an mri within this time.

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OwlRememberYou@reddit

It depends when op first went to the docs though, if it's only been three months of trialling then from their perspective it's not been too long.

I am sorry about your experience though, I've definitely been there and it really sucks.

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TroublesomeFox@reddit

Given how many different hormone methods etc she's tried I doubt it's been less than a year minimum. It takes an average of 8ish years to get diagnosed with endometriosis and that's an improvement from the 15 I waited.

It does and unfortunately it's a known issue with doctors, everywhere, all of them, it just is. Worst part is if you stick up for yourself you get labelled "combative"

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motivatedfatty@reddit

I’m really sorry you’ve had a bad experience. I try really hard for all my patients. Some of them still don’t feel like I’ve done enough when I’ve done everything I can. I can’t get an MRI. I can’t make a gynae outpatient appt happen in less than 2 years. “All of them” “Everywhere” is part of why I’m handing my notice in. I can’t continue to work this hard at the expense of my family and my well-being for no thanks every and just continuous bashing wherever I turn.

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CoconutCaptain@reddit

No they aren’t. You have no idea what you’re talking about.

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pusopdiro@reddit

If you go to the doctor multiple times over the course of years with the same symptoms with nothing helping and they don't bother to look at what's causing the symptoms, they are not doing their job. Conditions that can cause severe period pain like endometriosis, adenomyosis etc. can have serious long term effects and if you have those conditions you deserve to know about it.

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CoconutCaptain@reddit

OP hasn’t said how often/when they saw their GP. The GP has followed the appropriate first line guidance.

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WholeAccording8364@reddit

It's bad enough the op uses " pawned off" but due to her plight I have made no comment but you have no excuse.

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Illustrious-Plum1766@reddit

They’re not following clinical guidelines.

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jus_plain_me@reddit

We have no idea the timeline and key details.

For primary dysmenorrhea, the GP would be following guidelines if the OP has seen them only a few times.

If OP has seen them many times for more than 6 months, then you'd be right and would need a Gynae referral.

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salutdamour@reddit

Also this. Part of the process is trying things out and ruling things out

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LaughingAtSalads@reddit

Caroline Criado-Perez: https://carolinecriadoperez.com/book/invisible-women/. Huge bestseller.

Also: women are expected to put up with pain that men are not, and only recently the nerves of the cervix have been identified. Many medics think it has no nerves!

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PennyyPickle@reddit

After a year of not being taken seriously I went to the GP and refused to move. Yes, I did act like a stereotypical hysterical woman. I kept asking them to clarify why they were so averse to referring me for further investigation and to put in writing why they wouldn't do it. I literally planted myself on the floor and said I wasn't going until I was referred for an ultrasound and watched them send the referral.

I had a 12cm cyst removed from my ovary that was about to rupture after being ignored for a year because 'some women just get worse pain'

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Bright-Coconut-6920@reddit

They only took me seriously when I found out I have family history of ovarian cancer, when I told them that they finally booked ultrasound and found cysts

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

This is the exact same as me! Both my mum and gran have had cervical cancer

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Bright-Coconut-6920@reddit

Have u told your dr this ?

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TheCounsellingGamer@reddit

Between 90-99.7% of cervical cancers are caused by HPV, and of the small number that aren't, most of those are secondary cancers. I don't think the GP would necessarily be concerned about cervical cancer, as there isn't really a hereditary aspect to it. If OP is over 25 then they'd probably reccomend a smear to check for HPV.

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snarkycrumpet@reddit

It's a long story, but my sister basically died because Doctors in the NHS dismissed everything a woman experienced as "normal", an "overreaction" or "because you are overweight". Her leukemia was missed for a while despite flooding periods, pure exhaustion and a visible rash. But even when undergoing treatment she was made even more ill when prior injuries/conditions they had fucking ignored and downplayed over the years came back and caused infections and more illness. It's just disgusting what women have to do to get taken seriously.
I could go on for ever, but keep pushing. Keep checking the guidelines and then specifically saying "can you document in your records that you're overriding the guidelines and not escalating this, please? I'll need it in my notes."
Sorry.

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

I am so sorry for your loss 💔

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Lenniel@reddit

Personally I would start by raising a complaint with your GP surgery. Saying you are being fobbed off and are concerned that you may have endometriosis that is going untreated (I assume this is what you think it is).

Ask for a referral to a gynaecologist.

If you present to A&E they will only treat the immediate problem, in your circumstances the pain and then tell your GP you were there.

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shark-with-a-horn@reddit

To add to this, specifically refer to the NICE guidelines:

https://www.wellbeingofwomen.org.uk/health-information/what-to-do-if-youre-feeling-dismissed-by-your-healthcare-professional/

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MoodyStocking@reddit

Referring to the NICE guidelines has been the single most effect thing I’ve done that gets doctors to take me seriously. I also arm my friends with all the necessary info they need to get taken seriously!

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Dismal_Fox_22@reddit

There are also websites that will help you to put together your information ready for a GP appointment. They will help frame questions and provide details. I’ve used them for patients in the past to help them learn to advocate for themselves.

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Dismal_Fox_22@reddit

As an emergency department nurse I will tell you that chronic pain is not our problem and advise you to go back to your GP. A&E is not there to settle disputes between you and your primary care provider. A&E is not there to skip the queues for testing. A&E dr’s are not the fast track to specialty review.

You have a chronic health issue. If you’re unhappy with your GP, see another GP. If you’re unhappy with your GP practice, register elsewhere. If you feel you haven’t been taken seriously or treated fairly raise a complaint.

*A&E* is for *accidents and emergencies*. Chronic, ongoing problems are neither *accidents*, or unless something changed and is acutely unmanageable *emergency*.

Presenting to A&E with chronic health issues impacts our ability to see treat and manage emergency care. Don’t be that person.

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WaltzFirm6336@reddit

Tell them you are wanting to conceive with your partner, but you are finding sex incredibly painful and watch them refer you.

That’s exactly how I got a referral for a laparoscopy (only without the fertility part, but I’d throw it in for good measure) which found endometriosis, which they then scrapped off at the same time.

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wildeaboutoscar@reddit

Depressingly I have heard that this works. If you mention fertility or if you suggest that 'someone else thinks it's XYZ but you're not sure' then that tends to get better responses. Because of course why would it matter otherwise /s

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Glad-Pomegranate6283@reddit

Honestly I would have done this if it weren’t for the fact I want my fallopian tubes removed

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Glad-Pomegranate6283@reddit

I’d keep on saying you need to be seen by a bsge specialist, maybe speak to the practice manager. Being in that level of pain is common but absolutely not normal

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practicallyperfectuk@reddit

Use the NICE guidelines. Be very specific with your GP and say you believe that you may have endometriosis and according to the nice guidelines they should be giving you a scan as well as offering pain relief.

“1.5 Diagnosis and referral for women or people with suspected or confirmed endometriosis
1.5.1
Carry out additional investigations such as ultrasound and referral (if necessary, see recommendations 1.5.5 to 1.5.7) in parallel with each other, and in conjunction with initial pharmacological treatment. [2024]”

If they can’t or won’t give you a scan at the doctors then ask for a referral.

If you have a GP who is not very nice then perhaps book in for a smear test with the nurse - not wishing to sound like I’m stereotyping but ask for a female nurse due to the nature of the smear test and use this opportunity to raise this with them.

If that doesn’t work then ask for a different GP, female GP if possible an if that doesn’t work then ask to speak to the practice manager about making a complaint.

Ask for something in writing which clarified they’re refusing to follow the nice guidelines, give you a scan or refer you to a gynae at the nearest hospital for one.

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Midnight_weirdness@reddit

So I've been through this recently. Was even ignored when I required a walking stick. So several things you can do.

Demand a gynocology appointment, if the GP says no make another appointment with another GP. Ensure it's a female doctor. At the appointment go with a male friend or partner.

Tell them the following'

"This is having an impact on my day to day life."

If all else fails tell them your male partner is not getting sex or you're trying for a baby. They will give you a gynocology appointment.

Also track your period, the pains and how it's affecting you in detail. You need documentation.

Lastly you can contact an advocate service PALS which will be able to help advocate for you.

You are not alone, this is unfortunately really common for women in the healthcare system.

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ItsGoodToChalk@reddit

I have heard multiple stories now of women taking a male friend/relative posing as their partner to an appointment, and when the man talks for the woman about her symptoms, it is suddenly taken seriously.

What a sad reality we live in.

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AcornatheUnicorn@reddit

I took my partner to my gynaecology appointment and mentioned it was affecting our sex life. I had been in pain constantly for 2 years at that point.

Got a probable endometriosis and they put me into medical menopause went from co-codamols (prescription strength) and naxproxin every day to pretty much pain free in a few weeks of my first injection.

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Sea-Still5427@reddit

A&E will rule out emergencies (like ectopic pregnancy, cyst, labour, appendicitis) then send you home with pain killers and tell you to contact your GP.

It's usually easier if you have an idea of what you want them to do, and where the pain is. Tell them you need a pelvic exam and ultrasound, plus blood and urine tests (for infections, anaemia and hormones levels).

If they say no, Google a private provider locally - you can probably get the scan done for under £150 and take the results to your GP.

They often do STI tests to rule them out as a cause, so you could do that at your local sexual health clinic.

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TroublesomeFox@reddit

They won't even do that most of the time, I was told I had imagined being pregnant and was never pregnant to begin with. The pregnancy lodged in my fucking ovary disagreed.

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Sea-Still5427@reddit

Yikes. Hope you're OK now?

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TroublesomeFox@reddit

No 🤣 but thank you lol

The ectopic self resolved just as it got big enough to spot so I was actually quite lucky with that really since it's quite rare for that to happen BUT I've had painful ovulation on that side ever since and I'll never forget being treated like I literally imagined a pregnancy.

I did complain and got a shitty letter about how they were "sorry for any offense caused" like some guys big ego didn't literally risk my life.

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Sea-Still5427@reddit

Poor you. That's outrageous.

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No_Pomegranate1114@reddit

As mad as it sounds - tell them that it is affecting your love life and that intercourse is painful.

That was the magic line for me, I had deeply infiltrating endometriosis. Fobbed off for years but if it’s affecting a man’s life they soon see to it.

Female doctors were the worst, they treated my pain as if it was some sort of competition of pain tolerance. Period pain should be able to be controlled with over the counter painkillers, if it isn’t then it needs investigating.

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

That is absolutely ridiculous that you had to say that to get it sorted!

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Daisy_Ruby@reddit

Tell them you're trying to get pregnant even if your not, I saw someone on tiktok say she'd been having issues for awhile & they kept fobbing her off she got sick of & told them she was trying to concieve & the GP suddenly wanted to run blood tests & find out was was wrong.

I've been having an issue with a cut on my nether region every time I mention I'm trying to get pregnant they're on the ball with dealing with it, swabs, blood tests, a 3in1 prescription cream because obviously it's painful where it is & prevents doing the deed. But it does appear to be healing.

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

Thanks I’ll try that!

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-info-sec-@reddit

Get pregnant? Problem solved 🤜🤛♥️

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

🤣🤣

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Antique_Cash_8164@reddit

I'm no doctor but I have endometriosis and the same thing happened to me.

I highly suspect you have endo or adenomyosis but you need surgery, an MRI or ultrasound (mine didn't come up on MRI or ultrasound so surgery is best unfortunately.)

You need to find out where the good gynecologists are and ask to be referred to an endo specialist. You have to be very persistent I'm afraid, the first hospital I went to just fobbed me off completely but I was advised by a friend to go to another one.

Become a problem for them. Be as persistent as you can be. Push for having surgery because it's important that you get answers. I would put money on it being endo or adenomyosis.

I promise you you're not alone. It can very lonely and isolating at times but there are lots of us and I'd be happy to chat with you if you need any advice.

❤️❤️❤️

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

Thank you so much!

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CF_Zymo@reddit

That’s not what A&E is for. You’ll be told to go home.

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

Okay thanks

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Positive-Mud-11@reddit

You need a gyane doctor. I had this, ended up being stage four endometriosis.

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Open_Inflation4239@reddit (OP)

I think this is what’s wrong with me

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purte@reddit

Have you asked to see another dr at your practice?

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No-Daikon3645@reddit

I wrote a complaint to my surgery and told them to change my GP to one who actually gave a shit. I lost my temper eventually and demanded they take me seriously, but tbh, it was only after I landed in hospital that the attitude changed. Its not just my gender, I'm also overweight and some GPs can't see past that.

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Sure-Butterscotch290@reddit

My best friend who is overweight has dealt with chronic pain issues for a number of years now, and has had a GP grab her thigh, jiggle it and say ‘see this? That’s your problem.’ She is also a woman of colour, which adds another layer to the dehumanisation. I am sorry you have had to deal with that and I hope you’re receiving better care now

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No-Daikon3645@reddit

Thank you, yes, it's slightly better, but I do begrudge that I need to turn into a psycho bitch before I'm listened too. Eventually I had to tell the GP that I knew I was fat, but I wasn't there for that. Bizarrely, every time I go to talk to the GP about my weight, I'm dismissed!!

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Sure-Butterscotch290@reddit

I’m frustrated for you and the way you were pushed to act out of character to receive decent care. I wish that people would just listen to what women are telling them instead of pushing them to their limits. Not everyone has it in them to have to fight for every little thing, although I am glad that people like yourself are able to do so. It shouldn’t have to be the case though

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Successful_Power1197@reddit

That is SHOCKING, hope she complained!

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Sure-Butterscotch290@reddit

Unfortunately she didn’t; I didn’t know her at the time and she was in a very bad place mentally so she wasn’t in a good position to stand up for herself. It makes me so sad for her, it took her years to go back and seek help again

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betsykitten@reddit

Insist on an ultrasound. My period pain was getting worse and one month I ended up in absolute agony. I was referred by my GP for an ultrasound and turns out I had a large mass on my ovary, which the consultant thought could have been growing for a couple of years. Thankfully all removed now and not cancerous but I was told it could have become cancerous at some point. Don't get fobbed off.

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betsykitten@reddit

Just to add... if your GP won't refer you, it might be worth going private. My ultrasound date was weeks away so I went private (with insurance) but it wasn't silly money to pay out of pocket. I was seen the next day.

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Lox_Ox@reddit

Also just to note that you should cycle through all the GPs at the practice - one may not help but the next might be super helpful. You have every right to ask to see different GPs/ask to not see a specific GP.

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motivatedfatty@reddit

Also please remember ultrasounds are generally normal in endometriosis, so don’t take this to mean everything is okay. Ask for a referral as well

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majestic_spiral@reddit

Also, ask the gp to write in their notes the reason why they are not investigating or referring to specialists. It makes them think through their reasoning. If you don’t feel bold enough to do that. Ask if you can record the meeting for your personal use and bring a chaperone with you, preferably someone who you know can be outspoken and knows what you’re going through. Take notes, write things down. If they GP says ‘this is just period pain’ say as you write down ‘dr says this is just period pain.’ They will rethink how shitty that will sound if it turns out to be something else.

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CoconutCaptain@reddit

You don’t get to “demand” anything at A&E. They’re dealing with emergencies.

Also the treatment for painful periods is often birth control and painkillers. That’s not “pawning you off”, that’s treating what you’ve presented with.

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Jumpy-Jello-@reddit

Bring a friend to the GP with you. Specifically ask for a referral for further testing. If they refuse, ask them to note in your file that they are refusing further investigation. I've been diagnosed with quite a bit now, and this is the only method that works for a doctor who isn't prepared to investigate.

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jowiejojo@reddit

Ask your gp to refer you to gynae, that what I did and j have endometriosis, can only be diagnosed with a laparoscopy (they can sometimes see it on a scan but not always).

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ImThatBitchNoodles@reddit

can only be diagnosed with a laparoscopy

This is wrong. Endometriosis can be diagnosed through MRI. You just needs a radiologist who knows their bread and butter. A lot of them can distinguish endometriosis from other types of tissue as it is usually small and hard to see.

I had both, endometriosis and adenomyosis, found during the same MRI scan. Lap is the gold standard, but not necessary if the patient can be diagnosed through other, non-invasive, tests.

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jowiejojo@reddit

Mine didn’t show up on the MRI OR Ultrasound, but when they did the lap they found it both times and removed what they could, unfortunately in the Uk you can’t choose who your radiologist is, or even your surgeon unless you pay to go private.

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Antique_Cash_8164@reddit

I have deep infiltrating endo and it didn't show up on ultrasound or MRI

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ImThatBitchNoodles@reddit

True, if MRI shows nothing lap is the next option. I was just pointing out that lap surgery is not the only way to diagnose it and that it is very common to have it diagnosed by MRI.

Did they remove your endo by excision or ablation and how was the recovery, if you don't mind me asking?

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whyaregeeselikethat@reddit

Yup. I can't have a laparoscopy (outside of emergency life saving situations) due to having severe abdominal adhesions from open surgery that no Gynae wanted to make worse. Nothing is obvious on scans either both because Endo isn't always visible and the scarring that I have can be mistaken for it. But I have still been diagnosed through a bunch of different scans/tests where a specialist with a good eye spotted a slight difference and long term symptom tracking.

I was also unlucky (or lucky depending on how you look at it) to develop an Endo cyst just as my diagnosis was 'finalised' which basically sealed the deal. All this happened in almost 2 years which is much quicker than most Endo diagnoses happen.

Laparoscopy's can quicken/solidify the diagnosis but we really need to stop pretending it's the only way to get a diagnosis too, it's normally the last option in most cases from since Gynae obviously don't want to be sticking camera's in people unless it's necessary.

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Etheria_system@reddit

I was diagnosed by MRI using AI to enhance it and it picked up that I have endometrial tissue adhered to my colon. Sadly that was over a year ago and I’m still waiting to hear about next steps.

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Independent_Day3456@reddit

It could possibly be Adenomyosis. There is a forum on here if you want to research. I was diagnosed via ultrasound. I've had a coil fitted to stop my periods and therefore stop the pain.

Go to your GP and insist on further investigations, periods should not be painful, it's indicating something isn't right.

Have you thought about taking continuous birth control to stop your periods? Just something to consider while you get further help.

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Best_Needleworker530@reddit

Just on top of this, I was diagnosed as my adenomyosis was bad enough for NHS to suspect cancer. I’m on a mini pill that stops all my periods if a coil scares you and it was life changing. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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bluechu02@reddit

OP please read this comment. I went through the same thing as independent_day and it sounds similar to what you are experiencing. Years and years of monthly pain, phoning in sick at work every month… all solved instantly when I had a copper coil fitted.

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dinkidoo7693@reddit

GPs are useless, i went to the sexual health/family planning clinic. Was referred to gynaecology that way.

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Past-Anything9789@reddit

If the pain is severe then if you present at a&e they will see you. Say that you've been asking for a gyne referral or scan for over a year. Say the pain is getting progressively worse and now it's the worst yet. Rate your pain a 7 or above (this is the GPs online threshold if you rate your pain 7 is will automatically tell you to skip the GP)

I would imagine with intense lower abdominal pain they will at least schedule an ultrasound in the very near future. But be prepared for a long old wait. Genuinely take a blanket, snacks and a book.

Your other option (my preferred one) would be to attend a walk in centre but get there for when it opens. Have as much of your history written down (medication/ symptoms/ timeline both of the pain and your cycle) check in with the receptionist and you will be listed for triage. In our one local one once it officially opens the first few people are seen within half an hour.

Walk in centres normal have xray and basic ultrasound scan facilities. They should be able to have a quick look there and then. They can send you to A&E with their assessment (so maybe they will take you more seriously). I think they can also make referrals, or at least instruct your GP to make one.

Last option in just keep bugging your GP, the minute the pain starts ring, get an appointment. In the appointment tell them that you've had enough of waiting so now every day you are suffering you will be there. If they still refuse to do anything and if the pain is still there the next day, go again. This is the most time consuming but will eventually make them so bored with you that they will do something not to see you again.

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kb-g@reddit

I’m really sorry you’re having such horrible periods and are in such pain. It’s awful that it’s affecting your life so much and I really hope you get effective treatment soon.

Just rocking up to A&E demanding investigations won’t work. Their role is to triage people, stabilise those that need admission and ensure nothing life threatening is going on and discharge anyone else for follow up by someone else. They wouldn’t refer you to a gynaecologist for this, they’d tell you to go back to your GP. You can’t just walk into a gynaecology clinic or department and demand to be seen either, you need to be referred in.

I’d suggest trying a different GP, either someone else at the practice or a different practice altogether. Realistically even if you were referred to gynaecology at the moment you’re likely to be waiting a very long time to be seen due to horrendous waiting lists.

In defence of your GP, the guidance for managing painful periods starts with painkillers and birth control, so while it’s horrible that these haven’t helped you they may not have been ignoring your pain. Even treating things like endometriosis or fibroids start with birth control and painkillers, and it can take a while to find a combination that works for each individual.

I really hope you get an effective solution for your pain soon.

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Consistent-Carry148@reddit

some slightly morbid but effective advice I’ve seen is explaining your pain and then saying that you’re trying for a baby, and they will often instantly become more helpful.

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Aceleeds@reddit

Gynae waiting lists in Leeds are currently running at 18 months or so my GP told me a couple of weeks ago. If you can afford it go private. Although you’ll be charged for all the tests. You can ask the consultant if he’d be prepared to see you on the nhs after you’ve been diagnosed. I don’t think this is really encouraged so you’ll have to go careful if you’re considering doing it.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

Write down everything in a complaint to PALS and suddenly your GP will become much more responsibe!

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Amateurcellist92@reddit

How so? PALS has nothing to do with general practice.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

I was not clear enough by far, my bad. OP should complain to their ICB, but the first point of call should be PALS, as PALS can manage and advise.

Just so I don’t confuse OP even more, a clear description is here: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/hospitals/what-is-pals-patient-advice-and-liaison-service/

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vickytoria8@reddit

Took 8 years for my endometriosis to get diagnosed. Definitely ask for a gynae referral.

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Active_Driver_6043@reddit

please look into endometriosis and adenomyosis - go private if you can. unfortunately the healthcare system seems to ignore these very prominent issues that affect 1 in 10 women.

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AndromedaFire@reddit

In addition to the various good advice before. I would suggest you think about the way you conduct the appointment. I know in a perfect world it’s not needed but here we are.

Especially as women are often dismissed I think writing down 1. What is wrong. 2. Why you think it’s wrong. 3. What outcome you would like. I know it sounds wishy washy but you can refer back to it during the appointment and it makes you harder to dismiss.

Also think about the type of evidence. Some doctors won’t respond well to “x hurts” and need it clearer “every day for the last week, I experience this pain for several hours in the evening, the pain starts at a 5, at peak is a 7. I’ve used over the counter pain meds with no effect.

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shark-with-a-horn@reddit

You have to push sometimes but GPs should definitely be following NICE guidelines which are:

NICE says doctors should refer you for specialist care if you’re experiencing period pain or heavy bleeding and at least one of the following applies:

your symptoms are severe current treatments aren’t working there’s any doubt about your diagnosis you don’t want to take the combined contraceptive pill or have an intrauterine system (IUS) fitted non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) are unsuitable or aren’t working

Definitely escalate if you feel they aren't following the guidelines: https://www.wellbeingofwomen.org.uk/health-information/what-to-do-if-youre-feeling-dismissed-by-your-healthcare-professional/

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FinGuru98@reddit

Not exactly the same issue but similar. I initially booked an appointment through my surgery’s online system and the appointment was for 3 and a half weeks later and I thought I wasn’t having that!

Went to 111 and got prescribed some stuff that didn’t work. Went back to the GP who referred me onto urgent care because they were fully booked and got prescribed some more stuff which also didn’t work.

Called up again to get an urgent same day appointment and got a pretty good outcome.

I got a blood test, trying the combined pill to see if it helps and a referral to Gynae all from one appointment. I don’t know where you are in the country but as much as it can all be a bit disjointed, you just have to persist which is certainly stressful. t I’ll now use my original appointment to discuss the blood tests unless they come back to me earlier.

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Gullflyinghigh@reddit

My partner went through a mile of shit to get taken seriously for both endo and adeno, the first step will absolutely be to go through your GP for a referral. Turning up at A&E will do you no favours as they'll (rightfully) be focusing their resources on more urgent situations. I know that sounds harsh and doesn't help particularly but there's no point wasting your time.

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mrslucy1@reddit

I would write a strong letter to your practice manager, detail your previous appointments, treatments etc and the fact that you have a history of cervical cancer in your family and let them know if you aren’t offered a proper investigation and or referral that you will file a complaint with the patient liaison service. Please update with how you get on . When you do get another appointment then take someone with you

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Auntie_Cagul@reddit

Join https://www.benenden.co.uk/ for a small monthly fee you can be seen privately if the NHS waiting lists are too long,

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AffectionateJump7896@reddit

What outcome do you want? Without knowing it's hard to get it, or even know that you have it if you get it.

The reality is that you have a debilitating and painful long term condition. It's not well understood why this happens to some people so there isn't clear treatment. Pain relief and trial-and-error the available hormonal contraceptives basically is the treatment.

You could ask your GP to refer you to a gyne consultant, who could explain the available treatments to you, but be prepared that the silver bullet you are hoping for may simply not exist.

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mas-sive@reddit

Probably a stupid question, but do you get private medical through work? If so, you can request it through that.

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IansGotNothingLeft@reddit

My fibroids were only found by accident when I had a scan for a recurrent UTI. After years of being fobbed off. You're highly unlikely to get a scan if you simply demand one.

Do you have heavy bleeding? It's well worth leaning into that fact and telling them you have symptoms of iron deficiency. That will trigger a blood test for iron levels etc, and if you bleed heavily then you may well be anemic anyway. That should open some doors.

When you go to the GP, make sure you bring up "Jess's rule" where they must rethink if you've been to them 3 times.

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Additional-Guard-211@reddit

I think Dr Karan talks a little about this. If you haven’t heard of him, yes he is a YouTuber but i understand he is a NHS surgeon. Also, PALS.

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Alarmed_Pea518@reddit

A friend of mine had this and finally had to go privately and discovered there’s a hormone that during periods opens the top of the cervix a bit to let the blood out. She’d stopped producing it so the Dr. Just gave her pills with that in them

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koopa35@reddit

Exactly the same treatment with my daughter. All we could do was keep at it, keep going back to the GP over and over until they relented and referred her to gynae.

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Psychedelia_Smith@reddit

I found to get anywhere I had to ask for the referral. I never get them without specifically asking.

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SqueakySquirrel117@reddit

This happens so often, women are just expected to deal with the pain. It makes me so angry.
Perhaps quote “medical misogyny” next time you go to your GP. Check out this article, it’s a documented fact women are being fobbed off: https://committees.parliament.uk/committee/328/women-and-equalities-committee/news/204316/medical-misogyny-is-leaving-women-in-unnecessary-pain-and-undiagnosed-for-years/

I was having issues following gallbladder removal. I ended up going privately because I wasn’t being listened to. Fortunately I saw a lovely consultant who put me back into the NHS and I saw him there. He’d seen I didn’t have private insurance.

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Brokella@reddit

I had severe period pains (and I was past the menopause, so no actual bleeding!!) eventually I got a consultant to have a look up there and there were two effing polyps hanging right out of my cervix! They were removed, and the pain was gone. You need someone to thoroughly examine you!

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Inevitable_Thing_270@reddit

You need to go in with a clear plan of what to say and what you want

- I’ve had severe pain for 2 years during my period, not only making my life hell in general, but enough to make me miss work for multiple days every single week (states what’s wrong and the impact it’s had)

- we’ve tried (give them that “we” at least!) X, Y, and Z with no effect. I’ve had no investigations/these investigations that haven’t been helpful (states what’s been looked at and what’s been tried with no help).

- I want a referral to gynaecology for assessment because I cannot continue like this (clearly states what you want)

If they say no, then ask why. If they say let’s do A,B and C, ask what it will add that hasn’t been done before so why is that likely to work. If they offer a referral plus try something new while you wait to be seen, seriously consider it.

Don’t go in angry and ready for a fight. Just be calm and clear about what you want. Have a clear end point of what you want (lack of pain obviously, but a meaningful step in a direction that’s likely to lead to this, even if it’s only the first step of many, not going round in circles).

As your GP’s receptionist if any of the GPs at your surgery has a special interest in gynaecology or women’s health and try to see them. If not, then try to see a female GP.

Has any one suggested this might be endometriosis? I hope they have, but it’s often overlooked

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Ancient-Awareness115@reddit

The hospital won't be any better, go back to your gp.

This is going to sound bad, but take a man with you, it is awful but it works in getting them to take you more seriously, he needs to nod along with what you are saying. I also find that saying things like "I know it is probably just bad periods but can we just make sure" also helps.

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Illustrious-Plum1766@reddit

The relevant section of the guidance.

If they decline to refer you then 1) tell them to document that in your medical records, and 2) call and ask to speak to the practice manager. Tell the practice manager that you want to submit a complaint for substandard care.

Mainly they’ll take the easy option and refer you, because you’ve trapped them by knowing the rules.

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Sezyluv85@reddit

Read up on Jess's law. It's to protect women from this type of dismissive negligence when it comes to their health

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sapphire-sky-dragon@reddit

Contact the practice manager or change doctors, A&E wont do tests.

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sjalvklart@reddit

Tell them you want a referral to gynaecology.

You can also invoke Jess’ Law.

If you feel that they haven’t taken you seriously you can raise a complaint they will have an internal procedure.

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tomtink1@reddit

Can anyone go with you? Take a diary of the days you have missed work and pain ratings e.g. 30th April, pain 9/10 in the morning. Missed work. Pain med X taken. Pain down to 7/10 for 2 hours. Up to 10/10 by 1pm. Pain med Y taken.

Etc etc. Make it painfully (pun not intended) easy for them to understand the impact it's having to your daily life.

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Pale_Slide_3463@reddit

Is there another GP at the surgery you can ask for? Mine has 3 I can pick between and a female.

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JennyW93@reddit

Hospital clinicians don’t yield to demands any more than your GP would. You need to persist with your GP and ask them for a referral to a specialist (like another primary care clinician with a special interest in reproductive health, or a gynaecologist) if what they’ve tried isn’t working.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I had a similar experience and ultimately found the mini pill stopped my periods altogether, but it took many years to get to that point because I got my first period incredibly young so my GP wouldn’t really entertain any treatment other than ‘wait and see’ for first 6 years.

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Old_Pomegranate_822@reddit

This sounds a little like what my wife had to deal with - eventually diagnosed with r/adenomyosis - I think an ultrasound could diagnose her but isn’t always sufficient for everyone. Took quite a while to find a GP who knew about it it seems.

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lifeofpiranhas@reddit

In general it seems that healthcare providers aren't interested in taking women's health seriously.

It sounds extreme but take audio recordings of yelling in pain with your periods, if they're heavy, take photos of clots and blood texture.

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Otherwise-Eye-490@reddit

No. But you need to insist that your GP refers you to gynaecology. Unfortunately there’s probably a waiting list.

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IntermediateFolder@reddit

Don’t go to a hospital, get an appointment with your GP and ask for a gynaecologist referral.

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Trippy_V@reddit

Change doctors. You can also ask for them to review under Jess's Law if you've been three times.

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

A&E would just send you away and tell you to go to your GP, they are there for emergencies not chronic problems.

Is there a female GP at your practice? That can help sometimes, but not always. Ask for a referral to gynaecology at the hospital for a specialist review, buut bear in mind there will be a long waiting list.

Another option is to see a specialist privately if that's an option with your finances.

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