How do pilots deal with loneliness?

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PILOT9000@reddit

Exploring new cities? lol

Exploring the crew van to the hotel in Des Moines for your min rest and straight back to the airport after you barely had time to recover from the day before.

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SecureAsk8297@reddit

I’m at des moine right now questioning my life choices

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NonVideBunt@reddit

I do that too, and then my pay check comes. 😂

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T-1A_pilot@reddit

I remember when I first started my 91/135 job that I've got, my trips included Honolulu, kona, key west, san fran, etc, etc.

My wife was incredibly jealous- until I clued her in that at each location it was as you said; uber to the hotel, rest/eat, uber back to the plane and go the next day. Basically got to see the inside of hotels in nice places...

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flightist@reddit

At the heart of it, I’m a bit of a loner and I love exploring cities on my own, and my fleet & base means I get a lot of 20-30 hour layovers in lots of decent spots. But I’m not so much of a loner that I won’t strike up conversations with locals at a bar or on a patio.

It’s absolutely fantastic to have a bit of a sense of a place (good coffee/food/drinks, how the transit works, which local attractions are worth the effort) when my wife tags along on a pairing, or when the whole family takes a trip somewhere.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I just don’t want to be away from home, but that’s usually because somebody’s sick, or the dog is being a complete tool, or the water heater is being finicky, or whatever sort of routine life headache you choose. But a day ‘off’ in MEX or SFO or YVR or SEA.. yeah, not hard to swallow most of the time.

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Gabriel_Owners@reddit

Some people like being alone.

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Bruno617@reddit

I actually look forward to the solitude. I was pretty much an only child growing up as my only sibling was way older. I played with friends but spent alot of time on my own. Now I have several kids and rarely do anything by myself or do what I want to when home. So, on the road I can explore or just vegetate in my room. Also places as mundane sounding as Des Moines or Springfield Illinois can have some cool places to see. I enjoy statutes or monuments or sculptures or even mundane museums. I’ve toured the Museum of Hummels in Chicago in a strip mall near the airport for fun.

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Sspmd11@reddit

Usually we do things as a crew, pilots. Sometimes solo. In any event the trips made me think about places I would come back to with family

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Apprehensive_Cost937@reddit

Personally, I hated the life on the road, so I found a job, where I can be home pretty much every night. Best thing that's ever happened to me in this career.

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textbookamerican@reddit

What job did you find?

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Apprehensive_Cost937@reddit

Just a different airline.

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Indecent_exposure_7@reddit

RYR :)

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Apprehensive_Cost937@reddit

Nope.

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Indecent_exposure_7@reddit

Ok 👍

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vagasportauthority@reddit

I only know one airline (in the U.S.) that has the reputation where supposedly you end up back at base most nights.

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Apprehensive_Cost937@reddit

It helps I'm not in the USA, then 😄

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vagasportauthority@reddit

Yup, now I can’t find you :(

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Kaanapali@reddit

Yea. It was fun while I was single but I stay at my current job to be home more. I much prefer it.

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imapilotaz@reddit

I travel almost as much as most pilots. About 2/3 of it solo work trips.

I actually love being alone on my trips. I love exploring new places. I try to add in something to do to do no matter how small or crappy the place.

But ive always enjoyed solo travel all the way back to my teens

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Abides_247@reddit

Get out of the hotel room. Go walk the city and find good coffee, food and beer. Do a tourist thing….museums, parks. Go to sports games. It’s easy to get holed up in the room and start doom scrolling and going down rabbit holes.

Yeah, it sucks sometimes and would rather be at home vs on the road. Sometimes it’s nice to veg out in a hotel room because it’s the only time you can get peace and quiet. Find the balance.

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Several-Village5814@reddit

This job isn’t for everyone. This is one of the downsides of being a pilot that no one talks about. You don’t have a ton of co workers to interact with and spend a lot of time by yourself.

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Saltyspaceballs@reddit

It’s the single hardest part of the long haul life if you ask me. I haven’t found the exact solution if I’m honest, it just takes more care and planning of your life when you’re at home. Also a big one for me as a cyclist is taking my bike places, going out and spending a day on the saddle in a new part of the world, it might not cure loneliness but exploration and exercise do make up for it.

I never quite understood how people can sit in their hotel room trying to complete Netflix/PH, I could think of nothing more soul destroying.

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KCPilot17@reddit

I have 18 days off/month. I promise I have more time off than many of my friends do.

And no, don't bring up South of the Border activities....pilots never do that!

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SecureAsk8297@reddit

Yeah. But your friends are hanging out and you’re all alone in Anchorage waiting for cargo

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McCheesing@reddit

Ah yes. I see you also fly carribean and Mexico routes as well

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Working_Football1586@reddit

I have tons of time to do stuff at home. As an introvert Im in my zone when Im out flying the line.

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Theo1172@reddit

Exact same. I fly my trips, I bring a handheld gaming console with me, I’ll go grab dinner or a beer if the captain is up for it, but mostly I enjoy several consecutive hours of not needing to interact with people.

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Antique-Kitchen-1896@reddit

Look on the other side this non professional pilot has to plan his trips around what the family would tolerate.

I like historical stuff and can spent hours at a museum or a site. Within 1 hour they start complaining and by hour 3 well it’s never fun. Might be better to consider how you can do exactly what you wanted alone.

As for the at home part. My experience was with shift work early in my career 3 days on and 3 days off, alternating 12 hours nights or day every 2 months. Yeah it does suck feels like you don’t have fiends. I just got out from that job asap. Want much you could do about it.

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elkab0ng@reddit

Retired frequent business traveler here. I loved getting an extra day in some city I wasn’t familiar with and yes, absolutely exploring some museum of extremely geeky technical stuff - one of my favorite memories was chancing on an opportunity to see the infrastructure for the San Francisco cable cars. Or the NYC transit museum.

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OutrageousFondant127@reddit

I’m never lonely or sad what are you talking about OP?

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Imaginary_Trust_7019@reddit

I get a lot of time at home with the kids.

On a layover, I try to get in a hike, eat good food, have good coffee. Most of my layovers are 24 hours and I only really have 2-3 layovers a month on the wide body.

Australia is usually good for some outdoor activities and a nice dinner.

Asia is okay, but time zone wise it's usually a dinner the first day and maybe something the following day.

Europe is tough. Get in tired in the AM/early PM. Wake up for a dinner, possibly with the crew though I'm happy to eat alone. Next morning usually have time for a nice coffee and off to work.

On the NB I'd get into routines in different cities. A hike I like, a run close to the hotel. If there is a nice gym awesome. Layovers were often shorter or longer.. the longer ones is usually bring my biking stuff and rent a bike, or if the stars align my ski gear and go skiing. On shorter layovers you're only really there long enough for the gym, dinner and a wank.

Carribean I'd usually just chill. Do some swimming and get some sun.

Mexico have to chase down some good food.

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BigBlackHungGuy@reddit

How do pilots deal with loneliness?

What, did they stop making Steamdecks, firesticks and fb marketplace massage listings?

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Almost_A_Pear@reddit

Damn these ATP’s talking about having like 18 days off a month. I get 6.

I feel it sometimes when I’m off in the middle of buttfuck nowhere northern Ontario with one other guy that I hope I get along with. Head down, do the job and one day I’ll have more open time at base is where I’m at.

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MarthaKingsButtplug@reddit

Booze. Hookers.

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SATSewerTube@reddit

Don’t forget blow

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FlyingSceptile@reddit

What a terrible day to have eyes

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itdobelikethat93@reddit

I wish I was still the person I was before I saw that username

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elkab0ng@reddit

“Let’s talk about intercepting a VOR radial - with our buttplugs in!”

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TemporaryAmbassador1@reddit

Holy Trinity of overnights for British Airways FOs

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SRM_Thornfoot@reddit

I might miss home on a long trip, but I have never felt lonely. It takes me more than a few days being alone before I start to feel lonely. I am perfectly happy hiking new trails, visiting museums, going to a movie, or eating in a restaurant alone. If the crew wants to hang out, that's awesome too.

Now, being sick on the road. That is different. I don't like being alone in a hotel room while I am sick. That feels a little scary. I am not working sick, so if I get sick on the road I am going home. But until I get there, nope, I don't like that.

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vagasportauthority@reddit

I don’t find it lonely. You’re away from home but I wouldn’t say it’s lonely

I haven’t had any bad crews yet and I tend to get along with the captain and flight attendants pretty well.

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vagasportauthority@reddit

I don’t find it lonely. You’re away from home but I wouldn’t say it’s lonely

I haven’t had any bad crews yet and I tend to get along with the captain and flight attendants pretty well.

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Recent-Day3062@reddit

I once met an ATP pilot who, at the time, loved geocaching. I had not heard of it before, nor since.

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CPlusPlus4UPlusPlus@reddit

Get a second (or third) wife/girlfriend

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flyingron@reddit

Well, I’ve not had sex since 2015. But then it’s only 2300 now.

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flyingforfun3@reddit

I never have long enough time to make friends on trips. But I do go to the same places regularly. So in that way I have acquaintances.

I think the important thing is feeling connected to home. I call every night. I also bring my Nintendo switch 2 to kill time when I can’t get out. I go on walks everywhere I go, time and weather permitting.

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bananapoopwastaken@reddit

I’ll wait here for the Dr Steve Brule quote

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bananapoopwastaken@reddit

https://i.imgflip.com/g37xd.jpg

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Any_Sale2030@reddit

I hadn’t thought of this before. It’s funny but my flight attendant friends do all kinds of sight seeing when overseas. If pilots are lonely maybe they should hang with the flight attendants.

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Malcolm2theRescue@reddit

It’s not like you’re locked in a cell on layovers. You can go out with crewmembers, make friends with the folks who work at the hotels or airport and even talk to people you don’t know. I understand that is difficult for “turtles” (I’m married to one), but challenge yourself a bit! Number one thing is to get out of your room for a while. There’s an old saying, “There’s no boring layovers, just boring crews!” You are lucky that it doesn’t cost $5-10 a minute to call home from overseas like it did in the 70s. You can talk to partners or loved ones for free and see them on video! Oh, and don’t forget to sleep. Rest comes first.

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poser765@reddit

Deal with? Shit I yearn for it.

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Diver_Driver@reddit

I’m home more than my wife who has a normal 9-5 job. My kids see me more than her. With a bit of seniority you can be off for weekends and most of the important stuff.

So that said, I actually enjoy exploring somewhere on my own. It’s a nice break from my home life and I get to see and explore some pretty cool places and meet some interesting people.

It’s not hard to strike up a conversation with strangers at a bar or restaurant if that’s what one needs.

Being on the road routinely sort of reprogrammed my brain. I can be pretty far from home but still feel close and connected.

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FlowerGeneral2576@reddit

Loneliness is part of the job. You might make friends abroad but ultimately it’s still going to be a lot of dinners and experiences by yourself. Learning to be comfortable doing things by yourself is a very valuable skill to learn in this profession.

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rFlyingTower@reddit

This is a copy of the original post body for posterity:

Exploring new cities without family + friends, schedules not lining up with friends back home. Do any pilots have any stories about making committed friends abroad?

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