If you’re not “cheating” with tomato sauce by adding tom paste; are you even making sauce??? (I refuse to clean the knob)

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alvares169@reddit

I feel like Ive stepped into another internet

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

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Come on down to flo ri dah

I’ve got something for ya 😈

We could see some kilos or the keys baby oh yea

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The_Disapyrimid@reddit

I'm gonna make the governor write my doodoo a letter, child And then I'm gonna grind me a White Castle slider out of India's sacred cow Well, I'm goin' down to Florida, child

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Admirable_Ardvark@reddit

Looks tasty but who tf says "tom paste"

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Floridian idiots :3

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lcrowso2@reddit

AHHHHH! MY THIRD EYE! YOU ALL SAW IT! MR. THAT IS ASSAULT!

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

I just paid 3 tik tok witches to send psychic attacks

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lcrowso2@reddit

Oh noooooo! This is oddly m, like, not the first time this has occurred! I actually misread the other post and thought they said “florides”.

I’m on a roll tonight! Cursed and everything!

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lcrowso2@reddit

yesferatu… my bad guys. This was sloppy.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

You’re on the list now bub

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BreadKnifeSeppuku@reddit

Does it matter if there's a list if you lose it on a meth bender getting married to a gator?

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Imagine using meth instead of coke

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

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BreadKnifeSeppuku@reddit

No thanks. I'm going to stay up in my mountains away from florida

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sandy_catheter@reddit

Do you have room for a downtrodden mountain-hearted man who got trapped in Florida?

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Good :3

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

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MY JIB IS SHOWING?!?

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

You’re also on the floridiot list now

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

That’s universally known fact king. I feel sorry for *You personally* that you had to point it out <3

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Brief-Equal4676@reddit

I thought for a good minute they meant tom yum paste

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Oh damn i have no flair here

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GDGameplayer@reddit

Who is Tom and why did you turn him into paste?

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No_Improvement_7241@reddit

Man I hate to break this to you, but canned tomatoes are actually genuinely recommended for tomato sauce because you're never going to cook them down as much as they are in a can yourself.

Good tomato sauce from scratch with fresh tomatoes takes hours of stewing to get to a point the flavor might justify using fresh over canned.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

I mean I started cooking this at like 1600 and finished at 2100 or so. But go off.

So like 4.5* hours at least lol

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Piccadil_io@reddit

Nah you don’t need all that time for a marinara mate.

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Piccadil_io@reddit

Do me a favour and re-read your first sentence mate. Then see if you get dizzy.

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Piccadil_io@reddit

It’s not cheating if you’re making the sauce at all. Cheating is buying a sauce in a jar that is likely to suck, when making a good tomato sauce is one of the easiest things to do in the kitchen.

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Sir_Yash@reddit

Bruh won't clean the tom paste off his knob. Pause

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SharpCoderGuy@reddit

Its not cheating though.

If you want depths of flavour you use fresh, dried, paste and even powder.

Doing it your way will be bland without enhancing it to the point of being being too salty.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Real but I only had four tomatoes that were otherwise gonna go soft and rot

Waste not want not
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brisetta@reddit

Most reasonable floridian, i am impressed!

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SharpCoderGuy@reddit

I hate waste. Try adding some sugar and salt to just tomatoes as well, and adding them at different stages can make a huge difference.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

I add sugar as a last resort. Mainly for canned tomatoes

All “raw” tomatoes need is a longer cook time

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Lceus@reddit

What a long comment to say very little. Can you adjust the prompt?

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swilli1005@reddit

This blew my mind. I had no idea tomato powder was a thing

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LB3PTMAN@reddit

Wait until you hear about tomato water

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I made pasta sauce today from scratch using 6 pounds of tomato’s. First I rendered a hunk of salt pork and a whole package of bacon then I sautéed garlic and onions in the fat. I quartered the tomato’s and dumps them in and when they were broken down I blended them with my stick blender and simmered them for 4 hours with fresh bay leaves and fresh basil.

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Old-Marionberry1203@reddit

okay

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mwpdx86@reddit

I thought op was using tomato paste.

Or, excuse me, tom paste.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

I used like 3 tbspn prolly

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SharpCoderGuy@reddit

Significant chance i misread that 😆

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Rezzone@reddit

Please clean your knob. Not the kitchen one.

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SharpCoderGuy@reddit

How do you think it was stirred?

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Canelosaurio@reddit

If you won't clean that knob, could you clean my knob? It's actually smaller but it has more wrinkles

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Should I slob on it like corn on the cob?

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SharpCoderGuy@reddit

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Freign@reddit

as long as there's a couple of spiky cobb holders in play

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Oh you 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂
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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Gladly
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Thatcoolrock@reddit

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

How come every time you come around?? My Londie londie bridge wanna go down?
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Aggressive-Ring4813@reddit

Hahahahahaahahahaha

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Itsahootenberry@reddit

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Damn they removed embed links 😭

I added some cream and like 10oz of Parmesan Asiago. It’s lookin soooooo goooood

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pocketMagician@reddit

Its not cheating its another layer of flavor, good quality tomato paste is good stuff.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

I’ve decided to make a baked penne with the sauceeeee

Topped with more cheese of course

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pocketMagician@reddit

Yeeeah rock on

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

I DID TOO MUCH SAUCE

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SharpCoderGuy@reddit

You could put it on the other knobs now.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

It was a tube of Amore\^(r) brand imported from Italy. No idea if that’s a reputable brand or not lol

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femme-nymph@reddit

Aren’t you the dude who says having cockroaches in your house in Florida is normal? Grotty habits invite gross guests

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PotatoAmulet@reddit

Please clean your knob, it will develop an unpleasant odor if you leave it too long.

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Oniichan38@reddit

What are you smoking, tomato paste is essential for sauces

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Vansterss@reddit

Have you considered cleaning the knob…?

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

I have considered it yes

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Vansterss@reddit

Perfect

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Will i??
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its_the_honk@reddit

That's where the cheese is stored.

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Vansterss@reddit

Long as you considered it for a split second.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Thanks daddy

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Vansterss@reddit

Sure thing Thunder Thighs

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

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Ain’t nothing wrong with thicc thighs. They save lives

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Vansterss@reddit

Mmmmmm

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Bring back 2000s cartoons 😭

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Legal_Hand9001@reddit

lol I refuse to clean my knob too

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AppUnwrapper1@reddit

Why are you boiling the tomatoes tho?

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domandapiano@reddit

My fam is Italian and they use puree and paste, it doesn’t seem too out of the ordinary to me

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EFTucker@reddit

The alternative is reducing tomatoes into sauce and then paste for like eight hours so it’s not cheating lmao

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DnastyFunkmaster@reddit

PSA clean ur knobs guys

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

I unfortunately don’t have to. Mom stole my skin 😭

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Main-Animator1986@reddit

I'm not cleaning my knob either

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

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Main-Animator1986@reddit

😂

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MakeM3Cryjessy90@reddit

That knob has seen things and I respect it, but the real crime is boiling four tomatoes that are clearly just going to end up as sad water.

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oldpaintunderthenew@reddit

God those are tomatoes?????!

I was wondering why the first pictures is boiling four eggs with Xs etched into them ..

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Do you not blanch tomatoes to remove the skins????
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WheelOfFish@reddit

You should always clean your knob.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

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Possible_Top4855@reddit

Make your tomato sauce in the oven so you get that delicious surface browning.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

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Miserable-Ad5401@reddit

I refuse to clean the knob as well. My fiance does not appreciate the "dry aging" process however.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Fuck your finance

(Tenderly and hopefully with lots of foreplay & ambiance like candles & rose petals)

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Miserable-Ad5401@reddit

... And dick cheese.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Mmmmm head cheese 🤤

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Miserable-Ad5401@reddit

I made that joke before looking at your post history. Clearly, rolling that particular dice was the correct choice.

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

🫵🫵🫵👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🫃🫃

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

u/xoxo__honey clean up your attitude 💀

Clearly you can handle stoves if you can dish out hate comment then delete them immediately. Acting like Reddit doesn’t have notifications 😭

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xoxo__honey@reddit

i didn’t delete my comment. yall babies must have gotten offended that i told you to clean your stove bc that’s foul how do you live with a dirty stove?? crazy how people don’t clean their stoves. 🙂

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

Link it then :)

When I try and reply to it my notifications it says “comment deleted”

It’s either that or I got blocked lol. Idk what’s worse

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xoxo__honey@reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/s/CGJwnuIfOT

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

“Error 404 page not found”

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xoxo__honey@reddit

error cleanliness not found

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Calathea_Murrderer@reddit (OP)

This is true

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xoxo__honey@reddit

considering i’d never go to bed with a stove in trap house conditions is saying a lot. you’re probably the neighbor who brings roaches into others apartments.

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