I grew up in a Latino neighborhood and spoke Spanish and enjoyed Latin music from a young age. I had always romanticized Latin America, and three years ago after a failed relationship and stressful engineering career I quit my job and started riding a motorcycle south with no destination. I got all the way to Ushuaia Argentina and wrapped all the way back up through Brazil, staying often in places for months at a time.

I’m trying to separate the harder realities of people’s lives here from the vacation goggles I’m inevitably seeing it all with. That being said, this experience has crashed through my feelings about life like a tidal wave.

I always felt really lonely in the US, and the ease of social connections in LatAm has transformed my self esteem. I have been blown away by the priority many Latinos put on social connection. Friends I made years ago now regularly reach out to check up on me. I meet people in their 40s or 50s with families who still go out and socialize regularly. Seeing friends doesn’t feel like another chore on your laundry list, it’s just part of your lifestyle. Work is so decentralized from identity that I barely know what most of my Latino friends’ jobs are.

I now feel that the loneliness I felt in the US isn’t an indicator of some deficiency with myself but with the society as a whole.

And I am sorry about how this sounds but I found dating here much more enjoyable. I am not trying to talk like a passport bro and say that Latin women are “easy” or “traditional” (they’re not), but the entire process of expressing yourself romantically just felt so much more direct and authentic. It always felt like okay, I like you, you like me, let’s make it happen! Why would we fuck around hiding our feelings or playing games?

So I’m heading back to the US in a month to go back to work. I think I’m going to give it a year and try to understand if the dissatisfaction I felt with American life was because of my own approach or because my personal values just don’t align with the culture.

I do not care about optimizing anything or having an ambitious career. I do not want to amass wealth beyond enough to provide the basics for myself and my potential family. However, I do care a lot about social bonds and spending time with friends and family. So I am coming back to the US feeling like even a year back home is just wasting time I could be better spent working on starting a career in either Mexico, Colombia, Ecuador or in particular Argentina.

I am a fluent Spanish speaker FYI with a decade of mechanical engineering experience. I would consider Brazil as well but my Portuguese is simply not good enough (I speak it at a B1/2 level).

Pardon the long post, I think I am just wondering if my thoughts here resonate with anyone who’s further along on a similar journey and how your decision to leave or stay worked out for you.