What to do about noisy garden parties after asking nicely (twice)?
Posted by Aquapowa@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 113 comments
I live in a terraced house on a quiet street with small back gardens. My newish neighbours, once removed, like to have garden parties with a huge outdoor speaker playing some very lively Eastern European folk music. They also like to leave their young children out in the garden early in the morning and they literally scream repeatedly (before 7 AM today). It’s several kids and many adults in a small house, with even more people at the parties. In fairness they wrap things up by 9 or 10 usually, but they start around midday and it’s loud enough to come through closed double glazed windows (which is annoying in the summer).
On two occasions I knocked on their door after several hours of music when I could hear it on the other side of my house and they turned it down, but I did get screamed at by one of the women in a mixture of languages.
This happens a couple of times per month. It’s not late or regular enough for the council to get involved. I work nights sometimes (paramedic) and the bass means I can hear it even with earplugs, especially if the window is open, so can’t always just go out. They’re not next door, so I can’t just make noise to get them back. Ant suggestions?
Maleficent-Win-6520@reddit
Play Slipknot. Very loud
jennejy@reddit
Fascinating that you can split the comments section into the people who have noisy garden parties and the people who have to listen to them
Sutraner@reddit
It's more people who are so self absorbed that they think the world revolves around them and everyone normal who can understand people are entitled to do what they want
Missy246@reddit
i was thinking the exact same thing. People’s insistence that anyone can do whatever they like as long as it’s on their own property is so telling.
PinkMossOrchid@reddit
Yes. It's also fascinating how on another recent post where someone had a BBQ which upset a neighbour because she had her washing out, everyone was cheering saying things like 'BBQ every day just to annoy her' whereas on this thread many people are quite rightly pointing out that regularly noisy parties at night is antisocial. It depends if you're community minded or more of a libertarian/individualistic.
mylittlemudkip@reddit
I feel rather felicitous that I am in neither position. I think I'm on team "guy who needs to sleep" tho.
Bec21-21@reddit
If it’s during the day, there isn’t much you can do to make them be quiet. They are entitled to make use of their garden and play music, as irritating as that maybe. They are not required to change their habits because you sometimes work the night shift.
It would drive me crazy too - I hate loud noise.
Your best bet is to see what you can do to make the noise less irritating to you. Try a white noise machine (or an air purifier if you have one) - something that makes a quiet noise to help distract. I’ve done this and found it really helps. You could try noise cancelling headphones. There’s not much you can do about the base.
I had neighbors who had twins and they would bundle them up and put them in the garden in their push chairs. They would scream and scream. It was genuinely awful. But the good news is that kids grow up quite fast so we didn’t have to deal with that for too long.
SilyLavage@reddit
They're certainly entitled. Regardless of what the law may or may not have to say on the matter, it's unneighbourly to repeatedly play very loud music in your garden and you shouldn't do it.
Legitimate-Dream-111@reddit
Better make sure you buy a house in the middle of a field. It's twice a month ffs and done by 9-10 pm
SilyLavage@reddit
It's disturbing enough to OP that they've had to go around twice to ask for the music to be turned down, and they've been shouted at on those occasions. Do you think that's good, neighbourly behaviour?
Sutraner@reddit
And?
Do I think a neighbour who can't help but bitch and moan to the council over a couple of parties is a good neighbour? Fuck no. OP is in the wrong here
Legitimate-Dream-111@reddit
OP along with most this comment section are the typical me me me type. Do as I say. It's twice a month. You cant expect silence every moment of every day.
The shouting, i fully agree is out of order. Like always, we get one side of the story, most likely OP went round demanding they turned it off, rudely and got the shouting in response.
SilyLavage@reddit
The neighbours holding very loud parties twice a month are more 'me, me, me' than OP. They know at least one neighbour finds what they do disturbing, but they carry on doing it.
Just turn the music down, problem solved.
Legitimate-Dream-111@reddit
The world doesn't revolve around the OP. People are allowed to live their lives.
There's some good ear plugs on amazon, might be worth a look
SilyLavage@reddit
Why is it so hard for you to agree that parties this loud aren't reasonable when you have neighbours?
Legitimate-Dream-111@reddit
Because I'm not a princess that needs to have my own way. I've had the loud neighbours, I've gone to work with 2 hours sleep. I dealt with it because it's once or twice a month. If it was every night, yea there's a problem but it isn't.
mylittlemudkip@reddit
If I become seriously unwell I definitely want my paramedic to have had more than two hours' sleep.
SilyLavage@reddit
...it's the neighbours having their own way. They're the ones holding regular parties without regard for anyone else.
Legitimate-Dream-111@reddit
Once or twice a month is not fucking regular. Jesus fucking christ
SilyLavage@reddit
You're talking about frequency, not regulaity. Your birthday is regular, but presumably only comes round once a year.
In any case, I think loud parties twice a month from the same neighbour is unreasonable. You're clearly not going to change your mind that it isn't, so let's leave it.
Legitimate-Dream-111@reddit
Op says in his post it is not regular enough or late enough for the council to look into it. So its not regular....
Ok_Translator76@reddit
They didn't ask for silence though did they? They asked for the music to be turned down to a reasonable level. The "me me me" types are the ones with zero consideration for those around them.
Legitimate-Dream-111@reddit
It was turned down, what's the problem?
Cub3h@reddit
Loud music isn't that bad. A loud bass is. You can close the windows all you want but it'll go straight through it and will drive you mental.
All these noisy neighbours need to do is turn down the bass on whatever oversized speaker they've got thumping in the garden.
ah111177780@reddit
OP said “a couple of times a month” that doesn’t sound unreasonable
SilyLavage@reddit
It's never reasonable to play music that a neighbour two doors down can hear loudly through double glazing.
ah111177780@reddit
These houses are not that sound proof. I can hear my neighbour on the phone. Two doors down is very close.
SilyLavage@reddit
If you know the surrounding houses aren't soundproofed then you should be more considerate of party noise, not less.
Noises like phone calls, moderate music, and children playing are just part of living with people and should be tolerated as far as possible. Even the odd loud party is usually fine. OP's neighbours just sound inconsiderate, though.
mylittlemudkip@reddit
Our next door neighbours back in London had no concept of indoor voices. Worse than that, I found, was the lullaby machine that played in their infant son's bedroom. Eventually he stopped sleeping with it on, and I wasn't subjected to it for 3+ hours every evening/early morning/whatever time he woke up crying. I thought I was clear... then she had another baby.
Sutraner@reddit
Nothing?
They're perfectly entitled to enjoy their home. Twice a month is not excessive and they're not doing it late into the evening.
If you can't deal with neighbours go and live in the countryside
odkfn@reddit
Record times and dates in a diary and possibly video of it through your shut windows to show the noise. Submit a noise complaint to the council. As much as people whinge about councils, they’re required like American HoA’s because not all people can be trusted to consider others.
No_Situation_3242@reddit
This is bollocks.. I moved home recently and in the last 4 weekends my next door neighbour has had 3 full weekends (one was raining) of parties and music .. This is not normal , I don't care about the law.. I want to be able to get out in my garden and relax.. What do they think they are? They can have the entire outside space for themselves? What if I want to hear my own music? What if I also have friends over? What if all summer and half terms are like this? It's hell .. I need to have a conversation with them, but I already know they are not going to change their habits.. It's so unconsiderate, I can't believe people don't care about others
Tennonboy@reddit
Just incase you need to go to the council in future start logging dates, times, duration and what the effect of the situation is on you. In a notebook
abyssal-isopod86@reddit
Document, document, document.
Write down dates, times, durations and events in a log and take photos and videos as evidence.
Then report it to your local councils nuisance behaviour department.
If they rent and you know who the landlord is, also report it to them.
Repeated loud parties and gatherings that disturb neighbors are considered anti-social behavior.
Think-Committee-4394@reddit
However anything outside quiet hours will be ignored, people are allowed to have a life
Even if it’s an annoying or loud life
AgileInitial5987@reddit
There’s no time ordinance for anti social behaviour.
Think-Committee-4394@reddit
In the uk many councils have quiet hours typically something like
Not before 8am & not after 11:30pm
Different activities can have different times
Where parties, DIY or building renovations, cutting your grass or practicing your chainsaw wood carving will be met with a public order offence by the police if you don’t take the warning & stop
Bec21-21@reddit
It’s not anti-social to play music and have some friends round twice a month. The council will file that complaint in the bin.
zinasbear@reddit
My husband is eastern European. We have bbqs twice a month with music. The neighbours called the council on us. We have friends, kids, music etc.. The council installed monitors and they failed because its twice a month during the day. The neighbours called the police and the police ate cake with us. Then they called social services, I explained the whole situation and they let it go (after some investigation) as a malicious complaint.
Some people are miserable and will take it as far as they can.
I will say though that we ignored their shit for 2 years. After they called social services, all bets are off and as people who live in a glass house, they shouldn't have thrown stones.
Hefty_Tip7383@reddit
You’re anti-social
oil_beef_hooked@reddit
So you think it is ok to be a pain in the ass neighbour?
When did people stop having respect for others around them and just decide that no-one else matters except them.
tevs__@reddit
They're literally just living. If you don't want to hear your neighbours living, go live somewhere remote.
When did people stop having respect for others existing?
StickmanEG@reddit
Make what noise you want and if they don’t like it, fuck em.
When DID people stop having respect for others existing?
Beece1978@reddit
When the country got flooded with Eastern Europeans.
Mispict@reddit
It is if the music is too loud and disturbing other people's ability to enjoy their homes and gardens.
IrrelevantPiglet@reddit
Depends on exactly how loud they’re playing. While there are no strict noise limits during the day, excessively loud music could be considered antisocial behaviour
James_Londoner@reddit
Inflicting your music on your neighbours is anti-social
abyssal-isopod86@reddit
There is no time window within which anti-social behavior is okay.
Economy-Discount2481@reddit
There isn't a time window that anti-social behaviour is ok however there are time periods that the council will give more way more of a shit than others
Hefty_Tip7383@reddit
Actually the threshold councils consider is if the noise affects your ability to watch TV in your own house.
Think-Committee-4394@reddit
Actually there is!
that’s why quiet hours have been set! People are allowed to be loud & yes there are other behaviours that are NOK anytime but as OP lists kids playing early & loud parties that end at 10pm
That’s not that unreasonable
abyssal-isopod86@reddit
It is when they are frequent and disturb neighbors frequently.
Yikes44@reddit
I would also mention that you're a paramedic who works nights.
abyssal-isopod86@reddit
That too!
ah111177780@reddit
A couple of times a month and not in quiet hours doesn’t sound like a nuisance the council will get involved in. I get they’re not quiet sleepy neighbours like my delightful single widowed 80 something yr old, but they aren’t breaking any laws. Quiet hours tend to be 10pm to 8am no?
srm79@reddit
Councils stop loud chiming clocks because of daytime nuisance noise complaints - there are no specific 'quiet hours', it's a myth
MessageSelfdestructs@reddit
"Repeated loud parties and gatherings that disturb neighbors are considered anti-social behavior."
Not necessarily true.
If the noise is considered reasonable (which music at normal levels is, even if it's on all day and you can hear it), there's nothing you can do. At all.
Since they do stop by 10PM (iirc, the cutoff time), then it's even harder to do something about it.
The best thing would be to get in contact with your local council and its environmental health officer, who might come over and have a listen to see if the music from the garden next door is "within limits".
Because there is no fixed volume limit during the day, council environmental health officers make a subjective assessment based on several factors.
Good luck OP: stuff like this is so bad, and makes me so happy to be living in a neighbourhood with decent people...
commonmuck1@reddit
How often does it happen? If it's a few times a month who really cares. People have the right to live on their land how they like.
spannermeetworks@reddit
Idiot. If you're affecting others - thats who cares. EPA 1990 - statutory nuisance is the legal avenue.
commonmuck1@reddit
Nah. I have a saying. Babies cry, dogs bark and birds tweet.
Basically if someone is affecting you, you are the issue. Especially if they are just living their lives in a lifestyle that isn't to your agreement. What makes you or I judge and jury over how someone should live their lives.
There are lots of sources of noise in the world including eachother. So put up, shut up and get on with it.
Live-Independent-416@reddit
Document things, if you havent documented or reported then the incident doesnt exist in the eyes of the authorities.
Record. Make notes Have witnesses
They ignored you now make them pay
Longjumping_Unit_759@reddit
Can’t because it is not anti social hours
Live-Independent-416@reddit
You can its part of antisocial behaviour i believe
Longjumping_Unit_759@reddit
Nah OP said it happens twice a month, finished by 10 and mentioned children.
Government guidelines says you can’t complain about children playing and twice a month is not frequent parties.
oP needs to move
Live-Independent-416@reddit
I would document record and witness based on the attitude they said they recieved and continued. If it becomes a reoccuring thing and they keep pushing it.. then youll wish you had the earlier evidence. If it stops or isnt as bad as OP makes out then sure get over it lol
You are correct about the children bit, that gets waived. So you can complain and the council will send a letter to those people then those people could ring the council and explain that its children and then it gets waived. True story: 3 years ago that exact scenario happened to my sisters children, she recieved a complaint.. 4 boys under 10 playing in a garden.. so she called the council and explained and it got waived. Then my sister sought revenge and noticed the complainer had 3 cars and ran checks on them finding out one wasnt taxed.. she reported it lol.
Either way yes youre right about the children, but you can still complain about noise. Youd talk to your housing manager and they can direct you.
Both-Firefighter-668@reddit
My neighbours have very loud shouty, screaming kids. Not occasionally, all the time. I went round and the response was ‘they are just loud’. They have now at least occasionally asked them to stop screaming. It’s still bad but they have responded.
purplechemist@reddit
As a parent of a loud shouty child it is not always as easy as telling a kid to shut up. We are on an ASD pathway with them, as it appears that “noise making” is a form of stimming. Better for the child than self-harm I guess, but I can see it is more annoying for neighbours. Trust me, it is as hard for us to hear the noise incessantly. Kids do generally grow up and find healthier routes to process, but please be slightly sympathetic about the children. We need your support and empathy, not a bollocking.
IDPTheory@reddit
It's your responsibility to live in a way that your child doesn't affect other people, not theirs to tread lightly around it.
purplechemist@reddit
I’ve always said that the condition explains the behaviour, but doesn’t excuse it. You’re allowed to be pissed off at my child; I’m simply asking for a little empathy because rest assured, I am doing my best. We aren’t going out of our way to piss you off.
My “responsibility” is seeking support for my child, attending classes for parents to learn how to support an autistic child at home, and working with the school. I’m curious - what else would you have me do?
Lollypop1305@reddit
I love this. Unfortunately I’ve seen a lot of parents use their child’s condition as an excuse for the behaviour when these kids also need boundaries and discipline. You sound like an awesome mum in my opinion. My child was terrorised by a child in his class at school who was subsequently suspended and came back TWO days later with ear defenders and his absolutely awful mother claiming he was diagnosed in those TWO days. Spoiler alert…he was not neurodivergent he was the product of abhorrent and dismissive parenting. I removed my child from that school in the end and have since found out said child was expelled and removed from his mother’s custody. It makes me so angry that parents like you are fighting for their kids and people fake diagnosis to excuse terrible behaviour
Dserved83@reddit
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71j92Z0C6vL.AC_SX300_SY300_QL70_ML2.jpg
Lollypop1305@reddit
But not every loud shouty child is neurodivergent. A lot of them just have parents who don’t want to parent. And I say that as a mum to a boy who can be loud but when told to keep it down he does in fact keep it down
Both-Firefighter-668@reddit
Exactly why I was polite and given my experience, at least one of these kids is ADD, ASD or something similar.
Curious_Sea8171@reddit
Can’t beat them - join them - grab a six pack and head over
Kitchen-Pie-3321@reddit
Bigger much bigger speaker with your choice of folk music make it unbearable to talk or party or enjoy anything they’ll get the picture
Logical_fallacy10@reddit
Call the police or the counsil. Or start a neighbor war.
Responsible_Big1035@reddit
We have neighbours who practically live in their garden during the summer months. This usually means music played loud enough to stop us enjoying our garden at all.
This with constant barking dogs (that they seem unable to hear) means we no longer venture to our back garden. The sound carried through from the garden into our house/walls.
We had a good relationship with them in the first year till we asked them to politely turn it down and prevent the dogs from barking as much.
Conversations quickly turned sour, and now it’s complaints with the council and documenting every noise etc.
We’re now planning to move.
I’m sure we could push complaints further and have the council visit and place sound recording devices etc… we have just lost the will to carry on with it all.
So called quiet hours are fine, but noise beyond reason can still be actioned against. It’s what you’re willing to do.
mylittlemudkip@reddit
Careful with selling up, buyers will ask if you have any complaints against neighbours.
MerrieEnglandCartoon@reddit
I believe that people can make their noise up until ten o'clock. Just the legal perspective, by the way.
Yawate97@reddit
Leave them alone
GregoireLeFrog@reddit
If you have a garden hose you have a solution
GlitchingGecko@reddit
Better to use a sprinkler, then you can't be accused of aiming it intentionally.
Master-Definition937@reddit
Ignore everyone saying that any noise before a certain time is ok. It’s the level of noise and context that is a problem, at any time. Massive speakers outside in daytime hours, really loud and going on for hours — that’s a problem at any time, especially in a built up area.
Knock on your neighbour’s doors and ask if it bothers them too. Then get on to the noise team at your local council.
changhyun@reddit
Crows have been shown to be able to recognise human faces. Not only that, but they communicate with each other which humans are bad and which are good. If you're nice to one crow, you will find that many different local crows seem to be aware that you're a friend. And vice versa, if you're shitty to a crow then many crows in the area will start getting aggro with you.
Anyway, get a photo of your neighbour and make a mask from it, then put the mask on and start bullying the local crows.
flangeflangeflanges@reddit
Bloody great idea.
TomLondra@reddit
As this is probably going to be a long-term issue I suggest you contact whoever at the local council has responsibility for noise nuisance (the word nuisance is key because it has legal weight). Inform them of the problem and say that you are beginning a noise diary and that you will be back in touch about it, but in the meantime if they have any advice?
Then start keeping a meticulous noise diary (an Excel file would be ideal) with columns for: date of the noise; time started and duration with end time; type of noise; location of the the noise; circumstances in which the noise was happening; and any other notes you wish to make.
Keep this noise diary for at least a month and in the meantime, be patient. Just make your notes as comprehensive as possible. Then send it to the person you contacted at the local council.
I did this with bothersome neighbours. In my case it took not months but several years, but in the end I got the problem solved thanks to the evidence I had collected.
bindmedown2@reddit
Our 30 yr old single white British male neighbor had a few mates around last night. They played quite rubbish American and UK pop music and got louder and louder as they got increasingly drunk and started burning random stuff like cupboard doors.
Then they smashed up the garden furniture. What sort of idiot trashes their own home?
W35TH4M@reddit
Was the police description of the guy necessary for the story haha
Nicki3000@reddit
Exactly
bindmedown2@reddit
Just following OPs format. I thought it was a bit odd as well 🤔
Nicki3000@reddit
Oh to be clear, I totally agree. OP's description was completely unnecessary.
bindmedown2@reddit
Sorry I'm quite a sarcastic person and I assume everyone else is as well! 😭
HobNob_Pack@reddit
The only way ive ever got this type of shit to stop is stopping to their level.
Two seperate houses ive lived in and both times we've ended up finding out our neighbours either next door or next door but one are the local smack heads.
Both times ive asked nicely for my house not to stink of weed.
Both times they ignored the 4 or 5 times I asked.
Threatened them with physical violence and it stopped.
rising_then_falling@reddit
Get more of your neighbours involved - I assume they are just as fed up.
Going round when they aren't playing the music and having a quiet word about it probably more effective than waiting until they are bevvied up in party mode.
MessageSelfdestructs@reddit
I think this solution, outside of going to the council and get the environmental health officer involved, is probably the better way to go about.
If more people show up and let them know they all are bothered by it, it might convince them.
Then again, I'm also not excluding the option that OP is overly sensitive to noise (and fully understandable with working nightshifts, and doing an above average stressful job), and that these people are just living their life and not doing anything wrong (that is, wrong by law - not necessarily socially correct).
qucharski@reddit
Not sure this will help but you can read about what constitutes ASB and if the noise is something they can perhaps help you with. https://asbhelp.co.uk/
mondeomantotherescue@reddit
Get a Bluetooth jammer and leave it on near their garden
Strong_Quiet_4569@reddit
Call in an airstrike: “Hammerhead, Hammerhead. Emergency fire mission. Request firecracker salvo. Over”
Just stay back from the windows in case of shrapnel etc.
If that doesn’t work, position a giant magnifying glass at just the right angle.
Altruistic_Lies@reddit
A water balloon filled with liquid ass thrown into their garden, they'll soon leave
Ralphisinthehouse@reddit
Find a couple of really big pals and go round with them and explain that it needs to be turned down and they need to be more respectful. It's usually the only way twats like this will listen to anything.
Just to be clear, I'm not suggesting any violence but people like this see are usually easily put off when they see intimidating looking folk.
Peppy_Tomato@reddit
Don't listen to this person.
Look up what the Public Order act has to say about this: www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1986/64
Ralphisinthehouse@reddit
Well, not only does your link not work, but you've clearly never had to deal with this kind of person before.
PennyBunPudding@reddit
I guess that works, or befriend bees and train them to attach that house.
Danglyweed@reddit
Crows. The evil fecking crows attacking is the answer.
Longjumping_Unit_759@reddit
This is a you problem in afraid and you will have to move.
TerpzArmy@reddit
You’ll have to move out. This is a you problem.
luckylooey7@reddit
Couple of times per month? really doesn’t sound like a big deal if I’m honest it just sounds like a normal family enjoying their home.
Not ideal you are a paramedic on shift work but hardly your neighbours fault.
Nothing you can do but continue to ask them politely to keep the music down.
Connie--Lingus@reddit
Do we live on the same road?
semenonabagel@reddit
if so, please turn your music down 😂
huhshrug@reddit
Do you have noisy garden parties despite being asked nicely (twice)? Because if so, yes
chez2202@reddit
I have Eastern European neighbours next door but one on both sides of my mid terraced house.
This is not the norm.
My neighbours are young families with small children. One of them does have friends over regularly and they sit in the garden but they don’t play loud music all day. This week their children have been outside in their paddling pool and I only notice any noise when I go outside.
Your neighbours are very inconsiderate but there isn’t much that you can do about it if they stop at around 10pm. You can, however, check with the council about the early morning noise.
Mysterious-Sock39@reddit
Council won't do anything feel u need to relax a bit so they have kids and they get up early and it's summer they allowed to have garden parties
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