What do you know now that you wish you knew many years ago?
Posted by Shangos_Wolf@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 61 comments
One of the things that I know now is that I didn't have to physically train as much as I did many years ago. Train smarter, not harder, is the term I would use these days.
No-Function3409@reddit
Everythings fucked. Stop caring so much and just find your own bubble of entertainment.
Haunting_Meeting_178@reddit
People don't need to kill or be openly nasty in order to be bad, sometimes the seemingly nicest person is just rotten at their core and that's the way it is.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
The subtle abusers.
Haunting_Meeting_178@reddit
That's the perfect way to put it genuinely
RiotSloth@reddit
That I have ADHD. Received my official diagnosis at 53. Wish I had known from age six instead of just constantly getting into trouble for not doing what I was told at school, or what I was supposed to be doing, being told I was stupid and disobedient, that I was a bad child. Teachers really didn’t like me at primary and secondary, except my art teacher. It would also have shaped my career choices and I wouldn’t have done the job I do, which relies on attention to detail and involves a great deal of concentration!
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Well you have definitely fought your way through the noise! A surviver and a fighter! Now you can breathe :)
IDKBear25@reddit
Friends and acquaintances are not the same thing.
For example there are lads I play football with once a week and there's 1 guy I have never hung around with outside of school after knowing for 7 or more years simply because he always say he is too busy.
He scrolls on tiktok for at least 4 hours a day and tells me he hangs around with his family or some fucking birds that he does "2 man step" with on the weekend. But he can't come out and do bowling or go to the bar or go fucking arcade. Useless fucking beady eyed no good prick.
If you can't give me the time of day, (I'm not asking for much), you can fuck off. And I will start treating you differently because of it. Not badly, but less hands-on and much less attentively.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Focus on yourself. You'll have a better time.
IDKBear25@reddit
But I have nothing to do as an outlet.
Gym is a normal part of my daily schedule. School is, well school. And playing football once a week is hardly anything to gloat about. Those are the only times I ever leave my house beside from going to my place of worship once a week.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
You'll meet people naturally doing the activities you love but then you can control the time spent with different people. I like to just have a chat to strangers if it comes about then go on our merry way. No obligation everything just positive. Might never see them again or might bump into them again... Only the universe can answer that.
IDKBear25@reddit
I love nothing.
HighandMeaty@reddit
I think I would apply "work smarter, not harder" to dating as well. Just show up, be yourself, and put yourself in situations where you will meet people easily. Let curiosity guide you and ask yourself what is interesting about the woman you're talking to, rather than worrying about seeming interesting.
The less I tried to 'rizz', the more I got laid.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
I've put dating to bed but you are right. Those who resist we most want to kiss (George Michael).
AromaticVacation3077@reddit
Kind of personal, but I wish I'd realised many years ago how dysfunctional I am and how dysfunctional my family is.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Families can be the worst. Talking from experience too.
Quality_Controller@reddit
A bidet is a fantastic investment and will get you through any toilet paper shortage.
Also, invest in Nvidia stock.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
That is true but I have a shower after.
Inevitable-Height851@reddit
You can't make yourself immune to hurt from other people. You only end up damaging yourself in the process.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Exactly. We feel but we can only choose how we actively respond.
Three_Steaks_Pam@reddit
Not everyone is worth your time and effort.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Definitely. I prefer my own time. The more you do then the more they disrespect.
JimDixon@reddit
I shouldn't have married my first wife.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Everything is a lesson.
RobertTheSpruce@reddit
Don't take criticism from people that you would ignore advice from.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Yes a little spin on that is don't take advice from people who you would never want to be like.
TedBob99@reddit
Loyalty to your employer doesn't pay. More likely to get pay bumps when changing company, and your employer will have zero issues about getting rid of you when they need to.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
That is true. Took me years to figure that one out haha
stonesco@reddit
Not everyone works in your best interest. There are a lot of snakes out there in the world. Even if you’re polite / helpful to some people , some will stab you in the back / find a way to use you for their own purposes. You have set boundaries / limits / methods in place to reduce the chance of it happening or stop it completely.
There are a lot of things that have an influence on you directly / indirectly and you may not see them or understand them , until you reach a certain time in your life or a lot of damage has been done. Whether for better or worse.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
As the saying goes... What is meant for you will find you... Good or bad.
SkyPilotOne@reddit
That to be good at something you first have to be shit at it and not mind. You have to just carry on being shit at it and at some point you will get better at it.
upsidedowncreature@reddit
Save/invest a moderate amount regularly and take advantage of compound interest/dividend reinvestment.
theraininspainfallsm@reddit
For people not sure about how to go about this. Check out r/ukpersonalfinance they have a good flow chart that can help.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Definitely not in my skill set I'm too impulsive ha ha.
smash993@reddit
That at work the personality will get you further than capability. Don’t get too frustrated when the popular get promotions over those that bring in the results.
kendoddsdadsdeaddog@reddit
Often the ones who get the results are too valuable to move to a new , higher position
Theallseer97@reddit
It's like we never leave school.
Obvious-AI-Bot@reddit
Short version: it's not what you know it's who you know.
Long version: Networking sounds disgusting. And calling friends for favours is awful. But it's absolutely essential to spend as much time making friends in your industry as it is doing the actual job itself.
So if you are a painter that means 50% of your week mingling with other painters , enthususts, gallery owners, arts administrators , etc. And going to all thos damn openings and parties, and while there not being drunk but making friends with a wide range of people. Then tend and grow those friendships. Despite wanting to stay home, and hating "networking". It's absolutely essential for success.
Because it's not what you know, it's who you know.
UnrivalledPG@reddit
It's who you blow.
FreeBogwoppits@reddit
That many people lie constantly and often for no particular reason.
EmptyStock9676@reddit
Investing with St James place for a pension wasnt a smart financial decision. I should have educated myself first on self invested pensions (sipp). A few percent of extra interest doesn’t sound a lot but over the years it really adds up.
Ok-Doubt-6324@reddit
Compound interest is truly a wonder that I wish I'd known about sooner.
Apprehensive_Fan5779@reddit
As someone from Tanzania, I wish I had known earlier that traveling is one of the best investments you can make in yourself. The places you see, the people you meet, and the different cultures you experience teach lessons that no classroom ever could. I would have started exploring the world much sooner.
Acrobatic-Rabbit2660@reddit
That I would be stuck in an abusive relationship for 20 years. I should’ve left when I found out I was pregnant and disappeared.
PigsAreTastyFood@reddit
I shouldn't have to please people, people should want to hang out with me for my qualities not because I chased good friends.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Stay solo... Nobody is your friend unless they have something to gain from you. This is everyone!
NoApartment7399@reddit
That's not great advice
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Once you hit 50 you'll realise I'm right.
Oh-reality-come-back@reddit
You’re not wrong but is it always a bad thing if someone wants something from you. I personally don’t think so, so I don’t agree with your conclusion about staying solo.
If an ideal world existed where what you’re saying isn’t true, would you not want to feel warmth and affection from those who are close to you like friends and partners? That would be you also wanting something from them
It is absolutely possible to find people in life, who want nothing more than to share platonic or romantic affection with you and to also grow from your wisdom. In a healthy relationship (be it friends or whatever else), you’d benefit in the same way. I’m sorry that life has let you down in this way and I hope that you do find other people who you don’t mind taking from and giving to.
Life is give and take, you’re right; this isn’t always such a terrible thing though.
bradclark2001@reddit
True but it’s also good to make an effort, this goes both ways
PigsAreTastyFood@reddit
I absolutely agree, my point was going well out if my way for people and it never being returned
RlyVSS@reddit
People who frequently cancel on you for reasons of tiredness, or illness, life events, poor finance, other duties, ETC. ETC. care about themselves, not you.
The real reason for not turning up to something is because you don't want to.
Wrong-Match-5014@reddit
most of the things i spent weeks agonizing over didn't matter six months later
ByteSizedGenius@reddit
Same. I've got myself into a right state over shit I can't even remember now. We have brains designed for decisions where a decent proportion of the decisions we make could end in death yet live in the 21st century.
skibbin@reddit
Last weeks lottery numbers
PapayaStrong2550@reddit
That I really don't need the drama, and can perfectly live without a single drop.
wardyms@reddit
Nobody cares as much as you think they do.
PigsAreTastyFood@reddit
Absolutely!
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Also nobody cares as much as they make out they do.
Shangos_Wolf@reddit (OP)
Truth!
Logically_Conflicted@reddit
I wish I had known years ago that trans men existed. Because I wouldn't have spent my life living as a lesbian simply because I didn't have the words to describe who I was. I would probably have been a lot happier.
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