what is a fair amount for a child to pay in rent?

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ThatFilthyMonkey@reddit

When I got my first proper job I would give mum £100, so more like £200 in today’s money, and I think I was on about £10k so my monthly salary was around ~£700.

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Yeah your parents taking more for themselves whilst you give them even more, have they ever asked you for your payslips the council will tell your parents how much rent and council tax you should be paying for what you make but for a 700pm house 500 is too much.

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SomeHSomeE@reddit

How old are you and how long have you been living at home?

I think there's a differenc between 'just left school/uni, just starting a job, haven't got on my own two feet yet' vs 'in my late twenties and still haven't moved out as it's expensive out there'. No judgement in either but I'd say the latter would normally attract more 'rent' from parents than the former where you might just be expected to chip in for bills etc.

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The oldest ones are tweens and already have their own bank accounts and savings accounts. We're already talking about financial choices and practicalities.

If they end up staying home for a bit when they're older I'd rather they save up themselves because it's going to be so much harder getting in to good habits once they're out on their own if they don't already have a good understanding of finances.

There are other ways to teach them about finances, saving and budgeting without charging them to live at home with their family while they're finding their feet.

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RiverGlittering@reddit

And even then, how does it invalidate my argument? I guess if you’re keeping your kids rent secretly and saving it for a deposit or something, then it’s alright. But in any other case, it’s just selfish. If kid has a job and isn’t being a bum, the best thing you can do for them is not charge rent.

A small amount if you are employed is normal, but if you are unemployed and/or being charged far too much it's in my opinion straight up abusive. Like your parents want to keep you locked down.

In my opinion the amount you are charged plus extra is a bit ridiculous. You could get a room in a shared house for that and it's preventing you from being able to save. If my parents were charging close to or more than what I would have to pay on my own, then they can go fuck themselves. What possible benefit would there be to living with them.

When I got my first job after uni, my mum tried to get me to pay her £3000 for the year I had been unemployed and looking for a job. I had to tell her to go do one.

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Acceptable-Minute-94@reddit

500 a month for a single room?! That's only £60 less than my rent for a one bedroom flat.

My parents only charged me £100 when I lived at home. 500 is insane.

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emjayem22@reddit

My wife and I cut a deal with my son once he started an apprenticeship after college.

Don't pay us rent or for bills.. instead put the money aside for a deposit. He is expected to tidy and clean and even cooks the dinner once a week.

He's now 22 and has been doing this for 4 years, paying into a lifetime ISA (which also gets him an extra £1000 from the government every year) and extra into his work pension.

He's got around £20k saved for a house deposit and I'm expecting him to move out in the next 18 to 24 months.

MisterIndecisive@reddit

I'm not even going to dignify that with a proper response as clearly your head is in the clouds

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Namiweso@reddit

Standard-Standard214@reddit

There comes a time in your life when you want to be able to relax in your house with your partner with total privacy, it's not ideal for that to start at 35

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Sword-of-Fuheis@reddit

Different game once you have a partner, splitting a one bed/studio is both more affordable and a much better quality of life than spare room. But I’d also say this is a tough economy and we have to grind for our own and our children’s future. If that means spending some time sharing with parents to save £10k a year, which could easily be a third of post tax income, then that’s just what you have to do.

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Standard-Standard214@reddit

Fair. I appreciate that. Ultimately people have to do what they can afford. I never had the choice to live with parents, I was forced into private renting after university. It has cost me thousands.

However I don't really resent it at all. Spareroom etc isn't always a bad thing. Living with others can widened your social circle, allowed you to meet partners, and help you look back at your 20s with quite a lot of good memories spent living with friends. I spent covid locked in with four of my best friends for 18 months - stressful at times but I'd rather that than my parents, personally.

Alarm-Different@reddit

Ok it's not always the case that's true but it's those people who are saving and renting who need the help the most. If someone has parents who are going to help them with the deposit then charging rent is probably fine. Another thing to add is that with rising numbers of single people a lot of people don't have access to the cheat code of buying or renting with a partner which I imagine benefited you. Re your final paragraph I respect that but that's effectively the same as not charging rent. Lots of parents out there just want the extra cash with no return.

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Frap_Gadz@reddit

I would bet it's not always the case or even in the majority of cases in a meaningful way, statistics show as a country we're awful at saving.

I don't think having a partner is a "cheat code" any more than living with strangers or friends would be, I wouldn't have been able to buy my house ten years ago it probably wouldn't have been until about 5-3 years ago, but I could have afforded a one bed flat (initially this is what I looked at before my wife decided she did want to buy a place together). I think buying a house all on your own has been a very rare thing for a very long time.

Ultimately as a parent you're responsible for your children until they reach adulthood, beyond that it's entirely a free choice. It's also entirely up to adults everywhere to manage their own finances and financial situation. I'm lucky I probably won't need rent of my son when he's an adult and I will help him get on his feet, but I won't be enabling an unsustainable lifestyle by subsidising him.

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Alarm-Different@reddit

Im sorry but it absolutely is. Nobody really wants to buy with friends in reality. Having two wages for mortgage purposes and splitting half the rent for a 2 or 1 bed is a cheat code.

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Frap_Gadz@reddit

Renting alone is entirely possible, but buying isn't as affordable on average wages, don't really think it has ever been, possibly for a time during social housing and right to buy. Even when housing was cheap either mortgages were very strict or interest rates were very high.

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ZonedV2@reddit

I think any rent is unreasonable unless the kid is actually putting strain on the parents finances, then it's fair if they actually need the money to cover the costs of having an extra room/bills/food. The kid literally exists as a choice of the parents, no one is asked to be born and I think most kids want to move out when they can so the obvious reason they're still at home is because they need to be.

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wishbonegirl@reddit

I charge my 22-year-old son £300 a month, so roughly the same age as the OP. I don’t see how I’m being unreasonable. If he didn’t live at home, I’d likely be in a smaller property with lower council tax and bills, or I’d use his room as a home office and allocate more towards my own investments.

Having another adult in the house naturally increases costs. That’s just reality. Groceries alone have gone up significantly e.g my usual shop costs noticeably more now than it did in October 2025. If my son weren’t here, I’d spend less on food, easily saving around £50 a week.

The “no one asked to be born” argument doesn’t apply here. it’s an irresponsible take when we’re talking about a fully grown adult. Parents have a duty to raise and support their children into adulthood, but once someone is over 18 and capable, that obligation changes. I’d only agree with that argument in cases involving minors, people in full-time education, or those who are unable to support themselves because of any disability.

The OP’s parents didn’t ask to be born either, yet they’ve taken responsibility for their lives and moved forward independently. By 22, you’re a functioning adult, and your parents have already fulfilled their role in raising you. At that stage, you’re not owed ongoing financial support.

That said, I’m not against the OP moving out and in fact, it could be a valuable reality check. It’s easy to assume things will be better, but independence comes with its own financial pressures.

OP, have a proper conversation with your parents before turning to the internet for advice that might not serve you well. If you want a new bed, buy one and take it with you when you eventually move out. But depending on where you live (especially anywhere near London)£500 won’t go very far. I live in London, so I’m speaking from experience. My son hasn’t rushed to move out; he’s focused on saving for his own place, and he understands that £300 a month doesn’t even cover the groceries, family time and other perks he benefits from.

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ZonedV2@reddit

Well like I said if you genuinely need the money and not profiteering from your son I don’t see an issue. My main point is you’re making it tougher for them to move out and it’s a pretty uniquely Western cultural thing to say ‘alright you’re 18 you’re on your own now, you gotta pay your own way’. It goes the other way as well, when you’re old you’ll probably need help from your kids

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Frap_Gadz@reddit

You're not being unreasonable these adults are completely delusional if they think their parents job is to subsidise their lifestyles in perpetuity. Anyone who believes otherwise is unbelievably entitled.

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Alternative_Week_117@reddit

Whats the cut off age though? The op is 21 does your argument still apply if they are 40?

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ZonedV2@reddit

I don’t think there’s a one size fits all, I know people who get on really well with their parents and don’t want to move out and their parents don’t want them to move out. I think if it gets to the point where both parties just want to cohabit then paying rent is fair and I guess the cut off for them in my eyes would be around 25.

My main point is if your kid doesn’t have much money and wants to move out and you’re taking money away from them then you’re just prolonging the problem and making it harder for them

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wishbonegirl@reddit

casual_rapore@reddit

You have good perents they are teaching you how things work in the real world. If you move out you will have experience on how to live. Where as your friends who pay nothing will all be lost. So be thankful

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TD_Meri@reddit

£500 might seem like a lot to pay, but is it really? It’s covering your rent, council tax, water rates, electric, gas, internet, possibly tv streaming services, tv licence, maybe contents insurance. It’s HIGHLY unlikely you’ll be able to move out and live somewhere else independently for £500 a month.

I mean that’s not controversial- not many parents would kick out a grown up child if they needed support because of going through trauma or bankrupt/unemployed or homeless or something.

All my friends who live at home pay rent/board

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Miasmata@reddit

My parents never asked me to pay rent, but then again I moved out at 21 to go to uni. But tbh I doubt they'd ever ask, maybe only if I was just planning to live there and not actively saving to move out

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InzzyV@reddit

I think yours seems a lot for your age and life situation.

I’m 29, live with my dad in our original family home with my partner - my brother and his partner also live here. We all work full time, all moved back roughly 2/3 years ago.

We all pay £200 rent each (£400 per couple). It’s a spacious home, no mortgage. On top of this we contribute equally to food and bills.

My brother and I plus partners are undertaking a self build - planning permission has taken around 2 years, and we building to take at least another 2 years.

My dad may not have a mortgage, but there’s a lengthy list of maintenance needed on the house. Our rent covers the cost of contractors where needed, or reimburses him for the time he puts in.

Also, we’re all adults. My rent is about 10% of my take home. We all contribute equally to bills and food on top of this. My brother doesn’t make a lot of money so it’s a bit more of a struggle for him. I plan to significantly reduce my hours when we start building the house, and my partner even more so. It will feel hard to pay rent throughout that period, but we’ll just have to get on with it.

I think my situation is very fair - but agree with many on this thread that yours seems a bit much.

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Prologic87@reddit

Its not unusual for someone over 18 who is in full time work to contribute to the upkeep of the house monetarily.

That being said I think you are being charged a lot. Its also weird that you give them extra money.

Obviously it depends on location but I pay 850 for a very large, very nice one bedroom flat in an excellent location in a major city.

For 500 you could at the very least get a better room elsewhere and not have to give your parents extra money.

But honestly if you are clearing 1900 after tax, get a lovely flat to yourself.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)

i don’t mind helping out but i just think it’s a bit much. i don’t eat any of their food, do my own chores and i’m almost never at home. on top of that i have to deal with them and help clean the home as well my room

i’ve been considering moving out

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PopLoud4602@reddit

Its nice and admirable that you donbt mind helping out, but they arent helping you out?

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FearlessLime8089@reddit

Are they disabled or in some way genuinely needing help? Are they working? Where does their money go? It sounds abusive. Unless you’re leaving bits out.

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Airurando-jin@reddit

Yeah, you’re paying two thirds of the rent. Even if you include council tax on there.. that’s still alot.

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glytxh@reddit

It’s a varied market.

3 miles down the road from me are million pound houses.

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phatboi23@reddit

same, go a town over one way you're looking at £1200 a month for a flat.

£1500 for a 3 bed.

town the other way £500 for a flat

£450 for a terraced house... but by god i wouldn't wanna rent the house haha

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glytxh@reddit

I’m a sucker for a proper shithole. They feel real and human to me. I like the texture and the people. And there’s always some drama kicking off. I call it street telly.

Did grow up in some god awful 90s council estates tho.

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phatboi23@reddit

Did grow up in some god awful 90s council estates tho.

you'd love some areas of the town i live in then hahhaa

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glytxh@reddit

Used to live in one in Wales where you could literally buy drugs from the ice cream van.

The valleys are an odd place.

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phatboi23@reddit

we had one of those round here a couple of years ago...

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Imtryingforheckssake@reddit

I moved out of home into a dodgy bedsit 25 years ago and it cost more than that. 😭

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glytxh@reddit

Every time I’m tempted to move (this place is hardly my retirement plan) I spend half an hour browsing options and quickly realise that no. I’m quite satisfied here for now.

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ameliasophia@reddit

Yeah it depends where OP lives. My best friend rents his two box rooms out to lodgers for £500 each and we’re not even in London.

From when I started earning, I used to pay 10% of whatever I had coming in, be it wage or benefits as my parents had the mentality that bills don't stop coming just cause you have no job. I'm 51 now, so tweak that % accordingly.

Also, they very kindly put it all in an account without telling me and gave it me when I moved out 🥰

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disco_biscuits_84@reddit

I’m 41 and my parents had £40 a week, I think you should be paying some

It sets you up for paying your own in the future so

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RandomSher@reddit

I personally thinks that’s a lot compared to what you earn and the fact you getting a box room. I actually lived at home for a while after Uni parents never charged me rent and was one of the main reasons when I came to buy a house I had enough savings to put the deposits down on a place all by myself eventually after I got married etc. I had moved out and rented for a few years but the money I saved while at home was key.

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people are meant to home to save cash and get on their feet 😭 id be a good mom fr

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shinydoctor@reddit

I had to move back between the ages of 20 and 23 and my parents charged me £20 a week rent and food, utilities etc.

I have 3 kids now, one is working while at sixth form, one is doing his GCSEs, and one just turned 6. I'm not charging my eldest rent, I won't charge my other two rent when they are old enough work. I am their parent, I provide for them. They can buy their own food and drink if they want it, they can buy their own clothes, personal items like shower gel or hair stuff, books, video games, etc, if they want it. But I am their parent, so basic food, basic clothes, basic items like shower gel, toothpaste etc, all provided by me. Because I am their parent and I will provide a home and a loving environment for them. They do need to help with the bins and the washing up and the housework though coz they're old enough to pull their own weight in running the household.

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aBlastFromTheArse@reddit

£500 is absurd. They should be encouraging you to stick £500 a month into an ISA

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bekkkxo@reddit

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As a parent of younger children, one of my main financial goals is to save for them to give them a kick start in life.

My parents helped me the same way, assisting me with a deposit for a house with an affordable LTV interest rate, which has helped put me in a position to do this.

Charging rent would be literally the opposite of this.

You LITERALLY didn’t say that, you donut

I wouldn’t expect my kids to pay rent at home, but I would expect them to contribute to bills including food.

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viva__hate@reddit

why are you paying so much more than half of the rent for one room in the house? and then they ask for even more? yes it’s a lot, it doesn’t even make sense why they’re asking for that much

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Zbiffer@reddit

It sounds to me like you are paying most of their rent and them some! That is far beyond just contributing for your share.

I feel like you are getting ripped off.

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Sterling_Fortune@reddit

If it’s a 4 bedroom for £700, I don’t understand why it’s not £700/4 = £175 for your share, plus your fair share of bills and other reasonable household expenses. Why £500?

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fgjjgfyujb@reddit

It sounds like your parents ‘need’ this money so it’s not to do with fairness or them having the option not to charge you.

There may be a question as to whether this is best for you - ie could you move out and be better off?

If so it’s worth sitting down with them. If they are bad with money worth sitting down anyway as things are unlikely to change otherwise and you’ll feel morally obligated to pick up the pieces.

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ElectricalSwan@reddit

That seems high. I’d be charging you maybe 10% of your take home and gift it back to you when you leave. How much is a room in a house share local to you? If it’s not much more I’d do that to be honest.

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10deadpuppets@reddit

In 2008, I paid my parents £350 to live at home so I think £500 is fair in today’s economy. Bills are very expensive.

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amytee252@reddit

Wait..your parents pay £700 a month to rent a 4 bed property from the council, yet charge yoy £500 plus whatever else you are giving them?!

Move out if you can. Your parents are just using you.

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hitiv@reddit

Imo if my parents charge you, theyre not very nice people. Unless they’re struggling and need the help and ask for the bare minimum. £500 plus whatever else is absurd. Id rather pay a stranger to live in a HMO for that sort of money that give it to my parents because thats taking the piss if youre paying majority of the rent… each to their own i guess but my kids will never pay anything unless im planning on saving it for them

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simple-potato-farmer@reddit

Back in 2022 when I fished uni at 21 I was paying £300/month and would cook for my parents once a week. That was while working about 35 hours/week at a shop earning about £1,300. One of my friends that currently lives with her parents is paying about £500/month

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DOMiNO1892@reddit

£500 for a room at you’re parents is crazy considering the rent is £700. You are paying like 65% of the rent hahah.

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inkydragon434@reddit

If the £500 is just rent then it seems high especially If the overall rent is £700 and there are 3 adults living there ( I’m just making the assumption as you said parents rather than parent )

If the £500 also covers your share of household bills ( gas/electric, water, council tax, internet ) then £500 seems fair .

If you are starting to feel resentful and are thinking about moving in with a friend anyway, would it be worth sitting down with your parents and asking to go through the overall household expenses (excluding food) with you? Frame it as you wanting to be prepared for moving out , rather than a complaint about your current rate, just in case they don’t look at the numbers and decide to up your current rent 🤣

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foregonemeat@reddit

Cries in my £1700 a month a for two bed flat with damp.

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Superspark76@reddit

My brother and I paid ⅓ of our earnings into the house. It seemed like a lot at the time but when we moved out and got our own houses we soon realised it wasn't.

You aren't just paying rent you are helping your parents at the same time. If you don't like it you can always get your own place and find out how much running a house actually costs.

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ReallyIntriguing@reddit

Thats crazy to me. Your basically covering the whole rent almost. This is what parents in council houses don't understand, its PEANUTS!!!

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Ikhlaq_h@reddit

Considering the disgusting state of house prices in the UK. When my children are adults in a few years. I wouldn’t charge them rent.

Me and my wife decided we would take some money per month to teach them responsibility and then secretly save it and gift the entire amount to them when they were ready to buy a house.

Kids never asked to be born. We gave them life and bought them into this world. We should help and support them h til they are ready to move out. (Am not talking about deadbeat kids but hard working kids should not be taken advantage of )

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edison9696@reddit

My eldest child has just moved back home from university to live with us and starts a graduate job in autumn on £27,000. We will charge her £100pm to begin with to contribute towards food and bills.

You're parents sound terrible TBH, given the amount you're giving them plus asking for more on top and spending it frivolously. I'd be looking to move out ASAP.

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zibafu@reddit

I give 250 via bank transfer, and also pay for the internet and TV package so just shy of 300 a month

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MisterIndecisive@reddit

It's absolutely laughable how some children and parents think the very notion is absurd. Currently in school, just left/graduated, health reasons or unemployed but actively all understandable.

If you're working you should be contributing unless you have a part time job/very low pay. It actually helps you grow as person and teaches you responsbility. I totally support saving it up and giving it back at the end when possible for that reason.

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Frap_Gadz@reddit

It's total entitlement to expect other people to subsidise you, outside of extenuating circumstances, if you're working full time and earning a normal wage. It's poundland trust fund baby behaviour.

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More-Yard5742@reddit

£200 a month all bills

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ClassicFun2175@reddit

Absolutely zero. It genuinely infuriates me how parents choose to have children and then charge them money to live in there house. If the parents want the children to be paying rent then tell them fair and square that at 18 they should just move out and have freedom. I went through the exact same with my parents and the amount of fighting and arguments it caused was crazy. Started at 300, eventually went up to 600 a month. If I'm paying rent then I don't want to be treated like shit. It got to a point where I just peace'd out of there and got my own place. I have my own kids now and would never charge them a penny to live with me.

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Frap_Gadz@reddit

It got to a point where I just peace'd out of there and got my own place.

Shouldn't leaving you parents home be a normal step in becoming an independent adult?

Wanting your kids to be fully independent adults who no longer need your support should be the goal.

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DrFabulous0@reddit

There's people who just scrape by, then their kid becomes an adult and they get much less support all of a sudden. It's entirely right that an adult should contribute towards their household. But most decent parents are putting at least partially of that money away to give you back when you do move out.

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wishbonegirl@reddit

As I said somewhere above, my son gives me £300 a month. I’m probably not a decent parent then, cos I don’t put it aside for him. It goes straight into my stocks and shares ISA 😂 My living costs would go down by c£650 a month if he didn’t live at home and eat for king and country. My fridge/freezer is filled with food that only he eats but I pay for.

I won't charge my children rent, but I do think charging for what they cost you is fair enough.

It's not always as simple as that though. If you have money in the bank why would you take from your parents? Every shower you have, every meal you cook, it costs money to whoever the billpayer is.

There's a perception that older people are all well off, but some people go into retirement with not very much and if their kid has been taking handouts well into adulthood, they're essentially taking from a parent's retirement money.

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earthandanarchy@reddit

Why would I tell my child he has to move out over the sake of a couple of hundred a month? Not every parent is in the same financial situation when their kid turns 18 as they were when they have birth. It sounds like you don't have the best relationship with your parents and that's a whole other matter and not really related to whether or not the parents can afford to support an adult.

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Gr3yC4t@reddit

I pay £350/month, which is the highest of all my friends. Washing gets done + food though and I pay for half of the internet since I work from home (voluntarily).

You might be better off in a flat share then! I found house sharing really good, it teaches you about people and negotiations but it's also good fun

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Outrageous_Shake2926@reddit

When I was unemployed in late 1980s I paid my (retired) parents £21 per week , which was half the unemployment rate at the time. When I got a job I they asked for £25 per week. I paid them £50 per week.

Your parents are taking the hand out of you. I can understand parents charging rent particularly if they have their own bills to pay, but that's extortion.

Everyone is different and you might enjoy being out on your own if you can afford it, but it WILL NOT be cheaper or easier, try your best to just still be grateful, and you earn adult wages, buy a new bed if you want one with the £1,400 you have left over

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codon_9@reddit

Man, that’s a lot. My boyfriend and I (both 30ish) are staying with his parents while we save for a house. We pay £100 for the pair of us each week and that’s for food. I’ll admit, his parents are clearly being exceptionally generous and we’re very grateful.

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Daisy_Ruby@reddit

Is it? Check out rent for either a 1 bed or a studio flat in your area, you'll realize pretty quickly 500 in rent covers, rent, gas, electric, water, wifi, council tax, contents insurance I can tell you now you won't find anywhere for £500 a month with that included nope all that is separate bills & likely comes to more, then there's the deposit, estate agent fees, furnishings, because buying shit is expensive & then you have food & food is expensive all on its own atm.

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Jemima_puddledook678@reddit

Except it’s not supposed to be the price of an actual one bedroom flat, because first of all it isn’t a flat, it’s a room in somebody else’s house, and secondly they’re OP’s parents? They’re still living at home?

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Daisy_Ruby@reddit

It's still a damn steal in this economy, £500 is a bargain if op doesn't want to pay for their cigs, Starbucks & takeaways then they need to say that. Otherwise they'll continue to be the income that subsidies the over spending. The dad can switch to vaping an ivg 35xl kit & 6 pods is about £50/60 a month starting costs for 2 kits & 6 pods. Every month it's £30 far cheaper than cigarettes or baccy, the tax is also lower.

Its normal and acceptable to pay some money to your parents to live with them. £500 is at the high end, and even more absurd because they’re asking you for money on top of the 500. You are paying for half the rent/council tax at that amount.

At a £1900 after tax income you should definitely consider finding somewhere else to rent, depending on the area.

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Character_Savings966@reddit

Your probably helping them out a lot, if you really want to leave a room in a house share is same price as your 500 now. Do your parents both work

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EVILFLUFFMONSTER@reddit

I charge my adult son £250 per month, but he doesn't do any chores other than his own washing, we provide all the food and cook and clean. He is on just over £26k per year. We are saving it for his future, but we did already gift him almost 8k when he turned 18, and paid for all his driving lessons which were easily a few grand.

Quite a few other parents, including his grandparents have said we should keep some of the money ourselves, but quite honestly I don't want it or need it, so I'd rather it be used for his future - though no judgement on my part towards people who keep it themselves.

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MiguelBodrigo@reddit

In 2012 at age 22 I was paying £90 a week for an en-suite (shower+toilet) bedsit + shared the kitchen with other tenants.

Electric + water + internet was included in the price. £20 a week for food was a good middle ground between frugal and comfortable.

The on site washing cost £2 + another £2 if using the dryer

I didnt have much time for the gym or healthier eating due to long days/evenings spent working

I worked 6 of 7 days @£260 per week

Bear in mind these are 2012 prices + they werent far off living and paying rent @ my parents for less space, far more restrictions, and far more stress.

Since energy costs, rental prices and the general cost of living has massively shot up I'd say its likely you'll be paying a lot more than £400pm all inclusive and that it'll likely be more like 800-1k.

A list of bills most people come across when leaving home is water, gas, electric, council tax, tv license, mobile/sim, gym, travel; bus/trains/car. There might also be things like insurance in there.

Hopefully you are building up 3-6 months wage as emergency fund to keep your financial independence should anything crop up.

I was forced into debt + guilted for staying/leaving (and eating 1 meal per day) on a daily basis just by living at my parents house. I even 'owed' 1k which I was coerced into handing over out of a non fault vehicle payout (1.2k/loss of transport = loss of job).

So believe me i get what you're saying about being taken advantage of.

Personally I feel your comparison to friends may be the theif of joy because their parents are not yours + yours clearly had a plan to charge you like mine did. Better to focus on things in your control imo.

In conclusion, it's likely you'll be paying more than your current cost, but does your quality of life improve enough that it's worth it?

The wife and I looked for the cheapest room in a shared house in our town, then charged our post uni kids that. No bills, free food. Their rent has to be paid into their chosen savings account, building up a deposit for when they want to move out and buy their own place.

We don't want their money, but we don't want them wasting it pppppppppppppppppp rent to another landlord

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JoshuaaQuigley@reddit

You're getting robbed honestly. Ask for a reduction of rent and state the reasons why they might agree.

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fernofry@reddit

£500 is taking the piss if you're buying your own groceries. £350 at most would be your fair share.

sounds like it's more English cultural rules than pakistani ones then tbh.

Yeah, £500 is pretty steep. That's either "We're bad with money & need a subsidy" money or "We're raising the rent so kid moves out already" money.

FWIW my (white English) parents always charged me rent because we're reasonably low income and they needed the money. It was still only £40/week. (When I was 18; I moved out pretty quick!)

Times have changed & with cost of living etc I could see anything up to £400 as within reason, depending on circumstances, but even that seems a bit high if what you're saying re: rent/food/utilities is true.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)

oh no it’s definitely pakistani, they tell me not to ever mention that i help out with bills because it’s embarrassing to take money from a daughter/s

It's a tough one. If OP was living on their own they'd be paying \~£1200pcm in living costs mainly varying based on the rent (rent, council tax, utilities inc broadband, housing maintenance & cleaning costs). Less if living with roommates but certainly higher than £500. OP is paying \~30% of their post tax which leaves them 70% they can save which is far better than anyone renting. It is certainly relatively high (\~2/300 is probably fairer) but that's because parents usually subsidise their kids.

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MissionLet7301@reddit

Yeah, when you're an adult and obviously your parents are adults you should be able to have a sit down and have an adult conversation about money.

Your parents should be able to point out where the money is going, and you should agree that it's fair (e.g. if your parents spend £60 a week on groceries, they shouldn't charge you £20 a week if you do your own shopping and don't share food in the kitchen).

It helps you learn a bit more about how much it costs to run a household too, so you don't move out somewhere thinking it's affordable and then get your first electric bill and panic (and it's nice as an adult child to know that your parents have got their finances in order and know what's going on - since that can often become your problem when they become older).

It depends a bit on how many people are in the house and things like that, but I'd be raising my eyebrows if someone told me they were charging their kid more than £300 for rent.

Every family is different. I’m 31M and still live with my parents but haven’t paid any rent (house is owned by parents, mortgage finished a few years ago). I’m saving for my own place though and save as soon as I get paid each month.

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GlitchingGecko@reddit

I'd base in on their earnings, rather than anything else.

If you feed them and pay all the bills, I'd say about 25% of their take home pay, as I'd actually want them to be saving some to get their own place.

Cultural-Tea9443@reddit

When I was 22 I lived with an ex in a house her dad had bought for her. She didn't pay anything but I paid some rent although nowhere near as much as what you're paying. My dad thought I should have had free rent.

I was lucky my parents never charged me..I stayed at home till I was 22 and it was clear they wanted me to be with them despite not contributing rent or anything for food etc. I moved back in at 23 before moving out again at 24 then mostly living elsewhere till I bought a house at 28

£500 seemed steep to me. It's good to be aware of your finances too so it can help in that way I suppose. That said I can't imagine charging my child rent but never say never

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w33dmademegae@reddit

So it costs 700 and they charge you nearly all of that..I’m so sorry :(

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Ill_Difficulty_258@reddit

me and my siblings pay digs and my mum bases it on how much money we all make, it goes towards bills and food etc. most of my friends don’t pay digs but my mum has done everything for us and she genuinely wouldn’t be able to afford the house without us contributing so i don’t mind helping her. with that being said, £500 is a crazy amount if you are also paying for your own food

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Leg000las@reddit

£500 feels like a lot, I paid £300 a month when I lived at home and also covered my own grocery bills and did my own chores.

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Electronic_Heart458@reddit

I bet your parents are not paying any tax either…. I just know it lol.

Bills & Tax: You can include a portion of your utility and Council Tax bills in the rent. Additionally, under the UK government’s Rent a Room Scheme, you can earn up to £7,500 per year tax-free (£3,750 if you split it with a partner).

Benefits Impact: If your lodger is not a family member, the first £20 per week you charge is ignored by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP). Any amount charged over £20 per week is counted as income and could affect your Universal Credit or Housing Benefit.

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Did_OJ_Simpson_do_it@reddit

£500 for a box room is a joke. That’s above market rate in most of the country!

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Elegant_Emu8778@reddit

Not London mate! You couldn’t find it, even a council property 😂

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Did_OJ_Simpson_do_it@reddit

Yeah, I left London a few years ago so I'm not up to date on 2026 prices but in 2019 I was renting a box room in Brentford for £425 per month.

Here in Yorkshire, you can get a cheap 1 bed flat for £500 per month.

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Elegant_Emu8778@reddit

Yeah fair enough up north. In 2008 you could pay £450 for a room in a 4-5 bed in London. Now here to rent a room in a 4 bedroom with bills is 1.3-1.5k minimum. And then there’s food 🥴

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MorriganRaven69@reddit

This is likely very dodgy for a council house, especially with how benefits regard incomes.

Even looking at it as purely market value, I pay £525 a month for a decent size bedroom (I have king-size bed, a large desktop gaming PC and desk in there, and lots of storage) as part of a househare in a 2 bed privately-rented flat in a desirable, fancier bit of Manchester. I have the house bathroom to myself as my housemate's room has an ensuite, as well.

So I guess the fair amount is - it depends

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CartoonistNo9@reddit

When I started working full time my mum took £150 a month off me and I didn’t mind at all. But at your age what you’re paying isn’t far off a mortgage on a small flat of your own.

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ThatsJustHowIFeeeeel@reddit

£500 when the total rent is £700, AND you buy your own food and send them extra money?

Yeah I think you know the answer to your question here.

You should absolutely be contributing, but it should be probably about half of what you’re paying.

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I and my siblings were raised that we would give a third of our 'Take Home' Pay towards House Keeping.

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ButterflyRoyal3292@reddit

In 2010 I lived with my girls friend at the times house and her mum charged us 700 a month.

I always think its absurd that parents make their child pay to stay at home. Sure, pay for your own food, car, expenses that lie outside of regular bills. But I dont think they should be expected to pay. I would understand co tributes as an adult like in their late 20s or 30s, but not for someone who is starting out. If I had children, I would not be expecting them to start contributing or if I were, definitely not that much.

That money should be going towards savings so you can move out yourself.

500 is a lot. My mortgage is 500. And I have a whole ass house, not just a box room. All of our expenses with bills comes to about 800 a month (not including food, car etc, just house stuff). You're paying over half of what we pay a month. I know i cannot attest to what other people's mortgages are and they can be a hell of a lot more per month.

You didn't decide what term/cost of their mortgage, so why are you being expected to pay for contribution to that? I can understand giving something to an extent, but that is way too much.

It just baffles me that parents expect their children to just start paying their way immediately rather than letting them build up and start saving for a place of their own, with their own money and getting a really good start in life.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)

i actually don’t mind helping out, it’s more how much i’m paying that gets me. i just feel like it’s a lot when all i do is sleep there

we live in a council house so our rent is £700, i don’t know how much it is with bills admittedly but my parents both work so they have enough money to pay for things without me

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giraffe_cake@reddit

Nothing wrong with wanting to help out. I didn't offer to help my parents but they wanted me out of the house more 😂 I did pay for my own food and expenses and car.

I would ask for a reduction.

You're paying half their rent (350) and 150 towards bills, which is probably around half, if not more than half, of what they come to.

I know each house bills will be different. We pay about £40 for water, £120 for gas and electric, £35ish for internet (but we have a very good deal, no tv), council tax (band A) is about £140 and sim onlying phones that are £10 a month. So we may pay a little over 800 (with 500 for mortgage) for those expenses all together each month.

I would ask for a breakdown of bills because I think youre being taking advantage of. If you wanted to split bills 3 ways (providing you live with both parents), go for it. But i would definitely be asking for a reduction of charges because 500 seems way too much between 3 of you. It would mean that £1,500 would be going towards house costs each month, not including food, car, extras - which if thats the case you really need to be looking for better deals to save money because those kinds of outgoings are terrible 😂

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)

i’ve asked for a reduction and they said no, pointing out that it’d be more expensive to live alone. but it wouldn’t even because you can find hmos as cheap as £300 where i am. granted they’re shit, but living at home is pretty shit too

i’m sure i remember my dad saying our total bills are around 1050 so it’s not far off from yours. their argument is that they’re paying for the family car too but i never get to use the car and always get the bus so…

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giraffe_cake@reddit

It is more expensive to live on your own, but you'd have an entire house or flat to yourself and more freedom. Sure, there may be unexpected bills and costs and things do break and shit happens. You're basically paying half their rent and bills while they only have to pay a quarter each. How is that fair?

A family car is a rubbish excuse. If they chose to buy new or an expensive car, thats on them. Not to put the offcosts onto you. Maintaining and running a car isn't really that expensive and not justifiable enough to raise your rent that much. If they bought a jeep explorer that costs about £100 every few weeks on fuel that certainly isn't your problem. I think the most i have ever spent one year to repair a car after mot is £500 and that was a big job (21 year old car that decided to just break everything in that year plus needed welding done). But if you break down cost of repair for another year would be less than £50 a month. Insurance is another thing, but I have been driving for 15 years and its like £240 a year. Fuel is what it is atm and does vary per month but its still not a justifiable cost - why wouldn't they want to just help you out? My parents, friends or family members have never in my life asked me to chip in for fuel money and i wouldnt the other way round.

I would certainly try save as much as you can before you move out. See if you have a good friend that you could move out with to help with costs. And I wouldn't be giving any extra money if they ask for it on top of the 500. If you haven't already passed your driving test, I would reccomend doing this as soon as you can as it gives you a bit more freedom but if you dont want to, its not the end of the world.

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C2BK@reddit

we live in a council house so our rent is £700, i don’t know how much it is with bills admittedly

You should ask. You might be very shocked.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)

i think i remember my dad saying it’s £1050 a month? around there

When I was 18-25 living it home I paid £100 rent and didn’t know my parents saved it up and it’ll be added to my inheritance but they don’t know I know

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Former_Option2066@reddit

That is bloody extortionate

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19GreenDay82@reddit

My almost 20 year old daughter gives me £120 per month with similar earnings to you. I buy food for the household and specifics for her, I do her washing and I pick her up from work a couple of times per week. She buys her own toiletries and clothing. I pay for her phone sim which is £20 per month.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)

i would love this, they’re very lucky. i wouldn’t mind if the £500 included meals and laundry but it doesn’t

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LadyMirkwood@reddit

It's a difficult one. As a parent, I think they are asking way too much, especially as the aren't doing anything for you and you're buying all your own food. Contributing is one thing, but you also need to be able to save to leave.

Mabe try having a sit down with them, explain you are trying to meet a savings goal to establish your independence. I don't think asking for a reduction is unreasonable. But if they are the type to argue and get shirty, maybe just stick it out. If the kick you out life will be much harder.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)

Depending where you live you could probably pay less to rent a room in somebody else house.

Ancient_Bit_4542@reddit

I got charged £300 and my girlfriend who lived me also got charged £300. My parents were poor on benefits so they needed the money.

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TheRealPyroManiac@reddit

I’ve always thought a young adult who’s working & living at home should absolutely be paying for food, utilities etc but rent is a bit much. Maybe is you’re in your late twenties but £500 is a bit strong imo

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lunaj1999@reddit

£500 is a lot. I pay less for my half of the mortgage and bills and I earn more than you. I think anything up to £350/£400 is reasonable.

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No_Ring_3348@reddit

Asking you to cover your fair share of the bills when you're an earning adult is totally fair, however I don't think this is what your parents are doing here. By charging you around the same as a house share (unless you're in SE England perhaps?) they are 'gently' encouraging you to move out.

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TheZiggyStarr@reddit

For 21 it's mental what they're charging you, kind of sickening really. Considering that you look after yourself and pay your own way if say anything more than £300, and that's at the high end, is gratuitous for your circumstances.

As someone who works with young adults leaving the care system, many of the young people I support stay with their foster carers or extended families after they become adults. A common expectation is that they contribute something towards the household once they're working or receiving benefits. The amount varies from family to family, but a figure often used is around 15% of their income - personally £500 is a good amount to contribute, you'd be paying much more if you were living elsewhere and alone!!!

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pennylives33@reddit

Same here. I don't charge my children 'rent' but I do ask them to contribute their share towards bills, food, shared toiletries and house products, along with pet care. I also expect them to help a bit around the house because they live there too. I cook most of the dinners, do all the food shops, laundry, a good bit of cleaning and manage the house. I have always done this.

I do not ask for a contribution until they are out of education and working.

They still are able to save a lot of money. They are learning what it is to be an adult and how to be part of a household as an adult. Even if I didn't need their help with bills, I would still expect them to contribute because they are responsible adults and part of the family. They are no longer children.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)

it was a error it’s not that serious

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Commercial-Bat-4534@reddit

Hi5 vegan whos been buying their own groceries since they were 16.

I pay £250 bills but its because my mum earns carers allowance and if she kicked me out, which she is welcome to do, she would lose the remaining £250 or so she gets paid to look after me

So yeah I think £500 is fair. But you can look around at hmo costs and what they charge in your area. Mine is around £600-700 so a mates rate from your family being £500 is okay.

Consider beggars can't be choosers and don't bite the hand that (doesn't) feed you. You don't want to argue with your parents and get thrown out and have to pay more to live with random strangers which is AWFUL by the way

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BecozisaidSo40times@reddit

That seems a lot. My young adult kids did pay 150 a month rent until they moved out to teach them that they had responsibilities. But we saved it up for them and gave it back to them when they moved out. They had a nice little nest egg to furnish their first place. They gave us a hard time at the time but were really grateful. My 30 year old recently broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years, she moved back for 18 months but we didn’t charge her a penny even though all our bills increased by a third. We wanted her to save up to buy her own place. Currently I at the ripe old age of over 50 am currently in my dad’s spare room as we sold our house and our follow on is still in WiP so will be here 6 months. My dad wouldn’t dream of charging us rent. We pay for our own food and we are waiting on him hand and foot though so he’s loving it 🤣

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MaleficentSwan0223@reddit

I would say that’s too much when your buying and making your own food and helping around the house.

I paid £50 a month 15 years ago between the ages of 14 and 19 (before I moved out) and paid for all my food and travel too but even that now comes nowhere near £500. Obviously I can’t compare to your age as I was a bit younger (likely why I got charged less) but I’d have been fuming if I’d been charged the equivalent before I moved out.

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Umasan64@reddit

£500 is far too much in my opinion, unfortunately there is never going to be a set answer to what an adult living with parents should/could pay depending on their earnings, living costs etc.

When I lived at home my mum didn't want any rent, but my dad insisted I did, I paid about £200 a month if I remember correctly (was almost 20 years ago).

As a dad now I'd never expect my daughter to pay a penny, I want her to be able to save as much as she can and whenever she decides the time is right to move out she will have the means to do so.

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bluelightblock@reddit

Agree with you here. My mum and step dad were hungry for rent from us when we started working from age 16. Me and my sibling basically almost covered the rent with what we gave over. £200 each. Moved out at 23 with my partner and they never once paid rent to their parents. I don't believe parents should take a penny off their sons or daughters. Or if they do, atleast put it into a savings account for them.

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Upstairs-Truck-8606@reddit

none unless your parents are dicks imo. I’ll never charge my kids rent and if I did it would be to save the entirety of it to give back to them

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ShinyArtist@reddit

£500 is a lot to pay your parents. I understand contributing to groceries and utilities, having an extra adult to feed and provide for can be a lot, but you’re even having to pay for your own groceries. I hope you’re saving every penny to get out of there asap.

I bet they will have the audacity to keep asking for money when you leave.

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At 15yo and first full time job i paid 75% of my weekly earnings for food and boarding at home.

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spankybianky@reddit

It depends on your family circumstances.

If your parents are struggling to make ends meet and you want to help out, then it’s fine (I paid my mum £200/month at your age, and that was back in the late 90s).

However, I am in a more comfortable position now and I wouldn’t charge my children rent and keep it. What I might do is tell them they need to pay rent, but then keep it aside for them for a deposit when they’re ready to move out, as they can be super frivolous with money and I think it’s good to learn to be responsible. Whether or not I’m going to tell them I’m keeping it for them is yet to be decided - my two are still teens, and we’ve not got to that stage yet.

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Tacklestiffener@reddit

I knew a family with 3 adult children paying nothing and two younger ones at school. The parents were struggling and all the kids knew it but one son started asking for a whole roast chicken a day for the "gym gains".

I think they all needed a slap.

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neo101b@reddit

What my dad would do is take the rent money, save it and give it me back when I left.
If they needed the money of course I would give them a fair rent to pay the bills.

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CrowApprehensive204@reddit

I think that is too much personally but I don't know your parents circumstances. I'm all for kids contributing and learning to budget but £500/month would probably get you a bigger room in a shared house

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ducksoupmilliband@reddit

I took £200 pc from my kid when they came back for a year after university. I saved it and gave it to them when they moved out as a gift to help them settle in to their new home.

TheNinjaPixie@reddit

Unless its a matter of not being able to cover the bills, making a profit off of your kids sucks. How can they save for a deposit if they are paying market rates, surely you want your kids to thrive?

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Heavy-Mud-8307@reddit

My parents charge my adult siblings, who still live at home, £150 each. They buy their own food mostly too. Similar set up to you but much cheaper. They want to encourage them to save for the future. Though I think my mum still does their laundary and most the cooking.

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cbrownmufc@reddit

When I was your age, I paid £200 a month while my take home pay was about £1,100 a month. I felt that was quite reasonable at the time, but we are going back a few years so maybe £500 isn’t too much these days, considering how much the cost of living has gone up in the last 18 years

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Wonderkid_1992@reddit

Depends, when I first started working many moons ago I used to give my nan (who I lived with born and raised) money not a super amount but she was also like broke (not due to stupid spending but she worked so hard and there was a weird period between child benefit stopping and her state pension starting). When I lost that job she then helped me out and didn’t expect me to pay anything and it’s been back and forth since, we help each other out when needed :) some months I got the electricity bill, sometimes it’s me popping to the shops to pick up the food, sometimes

She always made it very clear if she didn’t have to worry about money she wouldn’t want a penny for me.

I have many friends now whose parents wouldn’t even think about charging them because it’s hard out there and they don’t need to take money off their child.

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TheNoGnome@reddit

A small amount, if you really do need the money.

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No_Cartoonist981@reddit

When I was 18 and out of full time education I paid my mother the same amount she lost in benefits/council tax reduction (something like that, it’s been over 20 years) so £50 a week, making it cost neutral to her. But I was already covering most of my food, clothes, entertainment etc by this point

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Odd_Two_5554@reddit

Charge your child 0 rent. You got cream pied. You House that child foc until they leave. Maybe if you were a more competent parent they would have flown the nest by now

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IDKBear25@reddit

My parents say they would never make me "pay rent" to them as in money paid to live in the house with them.

But I know as soon as I start earning money, they will want me to start "paying rent" to them.

Fucking cocksuckers. They never loved me.

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Few_Regret9608@reddit

What is your family cultural background , this can affect it a lot. Second factor is your family financial situation obviously.

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IhaveaDoberman@reddit

Every family is different. That's pretty much the beginning and end of the discussion.

In your particular case, I wouldn't go letting your friends get in your head. If your take home is £1900, you can very easily afford £500, food and fun and still save a good amount every month.

You can get bogged down in the whole "it's not fair" mentality, because your friends who don't appreciate what a privileged position they are in say so. Or you can accept it and get one with your life. Because the alternative could very well be move out, pay a significant amount more and have less.

We don't know your parents, only you know how the conversation would go.

I do, I have friends who do, friends who don't. Friends who have to, because the household wouldn't eat properly if they didn't. Friends who don't, and are a drain on already financially struggling parents. Friends who have to argue to contribute. Friends who have to pay what they can barely afford.

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When I lived at home my parents took a third of whatever I earned

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earthandanarchy@reddit

I have 3 months left of getting child benefit and UC for my eldest Son and there is no way I could afford to not take money from him, that being said I wouldn't feel ok about taking more than £300 a month unless/until he is earning a decent enough wage. I've said he will be able to help himself to stuff we have in the house but he's got to buy his own toiletries (he's very particular about the products he uses and they are pricey) he should also buy the odd box of teabags (other than making my dad a cup once a week he's the only one drinking tea), a dinner or two for himself every week and I also explained that this is his home and I don't want to be asking him to do chores but he should start taking it upon himself to help out when he sees things needing to be done here and there.

lovemycat02@reddit

Depending on your area you’re probably better off in a house share which would provide you more independence and probably more space too

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Pikmanpikman@reddit

When you said child I thought you meant you 😉🤣 Early 20s and living at home, maybe they are trying to encourage you to learn to pay your way? Hard to say without context TBH. £500 seems a lot less than you’d pay in real rent though, at least from my area it is.

I’d like to think we wouldn’t ask our kids for money but who knows what situation we’ll be in when they are that age 🤷‍♂️

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500 a month is the cheapest rate for a room in a decent house, if you check out spareroom you’ll be able find some for a similar price and have your own freedom.

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reginaldch@reddit

I kinda think it makes sense, its teaching young adults about responsibilities and budgeting. £500 out of £1900 isnt all that much tbf. I also dont think it matters how much housework you're doing as to me this is standard, you're an adult so of course you should be doing housework (i know you were complaining about the housework btw!)

When my kids are adults, i will probably ask for a small contribution but put it in a savings account for them.

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DevilsAdvocate1662@reddit

I moved out at 23, and never paid rent but my parents were well off.

I had a friend who moved out at 25 and paid his parents rent but they weren't well off.

It totally depends on your parents financial situation, and how much food, electricity and water you use while you're living at home

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cafffffffy@reddit

I used to pay rent when I lived with my parents (but only when I was working, they didn’t charge me rent when I was unemployed). My parents tended to charge me quite a bit less than what rent would cost me if I lived on my own in a flat, probably around similar to what you’re paying (depending on where you live in the country) - although I didn’t pay for my own groceries.

This was the case for most of my friends who were also working and living with their parents too. I didn’t move out til I was 28 but it was the right time for me :)

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BrewtallyCozy@reddit

My first top was part time. I didn’t pay any towards bills. My second job and current job the bills are split between me, my mum, gran and step dad. My parents don’t have a mortgage so it’s slightly cheaper as I just cover bills. I also pay for my own weekly shop and any shared dinners are split

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NobleRegal@reddit

If parents or relatives can afford to makedo without said rent, then it’s likely they have an issue with said person to be quite frank.

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Children should not be paying as they undrrage.

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spankybianky@reddit

They said they were in their 20s.

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cafffffffy@reddit

This is a person in their twenties, they aren’t underage

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mwhi1017@reddit

Yes, but OP is in their ‘early twenties’, taking home £1900 pcm.

So they’re an adult, living as a lodger with their parents.

OP - your parents want you to move out, or are struggling financially.

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Inevitable_Bid8719@reddit

Thats not underage lol

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Whithorsematt@reddit

Early 20s underage?

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Due-Discussion-8196@reddit

Yeah that’s not a lot…I paid that much when I lived at home on an early teacher’s salary….you’re paying a heck of a lot less than you would if you moved out and got a place on your own 👀 remember that.

Also remember that the bills of house with multiple adults in (because that’s what you are) will be more than the bills of house with an actual child in…you’re using their gas, electric, water….they don’t get any council tax discount for you living at home….

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4x6x8@reddit

"we are in our early twenties" - you're not a child OP, welcome to adulting. Perhaps it's time to fly the nest.

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montyrattus@reddit

Depending where you live you may pay a little more for a room in a shared out but at least you are out from under your parents roof.

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Flashy_Error_7989@reddit

It’s down to the family I guess but really I think we should be looking after each other- helping your kids if you can- if you’re going to take rent it should be about helping them learn to budget but also about putting it away for a deposit for them. We’ll get nowhere against the powerful by pulling each other down.

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