what is a fair amount for a child to pay in rent?
Posted by Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 634 comments
so apparently, most people my age i know don’t pay any bills to live at home. the subject came up when a friend was talking about how she didn’t want to move out and start paying bills and everyone was agreeing with her. confused, i asked her if she didn’t already pay rent to her parents
she didn’t and the whole group thought it was an absurd idea that i pay rent, the amount i pay even more so. we are in our early twenties and i earn around £1900 after tax
i pay £500 a month for a box room at my parents house, as well as giving them extra money when they need it. is that really a lot? i make my own food and pay for all of my own groceries (although this is mostly because i’m a vegetarian and my family aren’t)
i do all my own chores and my family has the mindset of ‘if you make the mess, clean it’ so i do my own dishes and laundry and everything. i also do my families laundry occasionally and clean around the house for them. i never really questioned what i was paying but now i feel like it’s a bit much
ThatFilthyMonkey@reddit
When I got my first proper job I would give mum £100, so more like £200 in today’s money, and I think I was on about £10k so my monthly salary was around ~£700.
aokay24@reddit
Yeah your parents taking more for themselves whilst you give them even more, have they ever asked you for your payslips the council will tell your parents how much rent and council tax you should be paying for what you make but for a 700pm house 500 is too much.
SomeHSomeE@reddit
How old are you and how long have you been living at home?
I think there's a differenc between 'just left school/uni, just starting a job, haven't got on my own two feet yet' vs 'in my late twenties and still haven't moved out as it's expensive out there'. No judgement in either but I'd say the latter would normally attract more 'rent' from parents than the former where you might just be expected to chip in for bills etc.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
21 and all my life, i didn’t go to uni
Background_Lion_1389@reddit
Are you expected (by them) to remain living with them for the foreseeable future? Because if they take more than 1/4 of your paycheck and then ask you for more money plus make you pay for your own food it really isn't leaving much room for you to save up enough to move out.
My parents never charged us anything and I wouldn't charge my own when they're older. Others that I know who were charged were normally looking at 10 or 20% of take home pay.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
most definitely not lol, i’m actively saving to move out. realising that i’m essentially getting ripped off just further convinced me
i don’t mind paying at all but i think it’s taking the mick considering i’m barely home, i don’t eat any of their food and i do a lot of the household chores
Strong_Beginning@reddit
Ngl 500 for a box room when the whole house is 700 is ridiculous
Soggywallet94@reddit
So taking the Mick or financial abuse?
totalgoof@reddit
In some cases children are being taken advantage of and abused by their parents (did you have a good childhood?) But I doubt you realise how little you actualy do at home and how home chores are "all consuming" but to be fair nipper you would be hard pressed to find a rent a room for less than 500 nowadays and then you have all the extra bills plus all maintenance and food bills to go with it! You are being taught a lesson it just appears there's zero charity in your lesson .
XihuanNi-6784@reddit
A lesson that their parents are c*nts?
Catelyn_The_Cat@reddit
Them profiting off you feels wrong. My parents charged me what I cost them so it was food plus additional electricity. So if you’re buying your own food you’ve got a terrible deal!
rkr87@reddit
You should charge them, even if you save everything you take from them and gift it later for a house deposit or something - financial responsibility and meeting liabilities is an important lesson.
Background_Lion_1389@reddit
The oldest ones are tweens and already have their own bank accounts and savings accounts. We're already talking about financial choices and practicalities.
If they end up staying home for a bit when they're older I'd rather they save up themselves because it's going to be so much harder getting in to good habits once they're out on their own if they don't already have a good understanding of finances.
There are other ways to teach them about finances, saving and budgeting without charging them to live at home with their family while they're finding their feet.
RiverGlittering@reddit
Can I go back in time and be your child?
Mine expected me to reimburse all the costs of raising me from birth.
My rent was 85% of my income, I had to supply my own food, and pay my share of the bills. Naturally, 1/3rd. Trapped in the same stupid tiny room.
Know what I learnt about finances during that time? Sod all. I never had any money to budget.
ok2888@reddit
That's straight up abusive
Yamahaha125@reddit
My mum was the same. She used to charge me the “marketable rate for my room”. And also talked about being “compensated” for raising me. The marketable rate was the rent for the whole flat! I remember having dinner at my grandmas and this was discussed at the dinner table. I wasn’t allowed to give figures.
It stopped me from moving out. I managed to live on a shoe string, and save enough for a house deposit. I was taken aside and told I couldn’t move out because I would financially break them.
TheCounsellingGamer@reddit
I've heard of parents essentially giving their 18 year old a "bill" for how much it cost to raise them. It's beyond ridiculous. It's not like you asked to be born. Your parents chose to have you.
Zack_Ant@reddit
I agree although I will do my best to teach them these before that age, besides that to a degree I think when you are capable of doing it even slightly helping your parents for housing you once you make your own money does make sense to a degree. But not 500 + extras + food to live in what I assume is a tiny room in a small council house the parents are only paying 700 for to rent. I grew up in a similar situation and my parents only asked for about 150-200/month all in because we made food as a family.
ReigningInEngland@reddit
Yeah if inwere to have kids I'd charge them rent, invest it and pop it back to them for house deposit with some extra that I could afford. Hard for these generations atm to get a job let alone a house.
Isgortio@reddit
I agree with this, my brother is 38 and has never been charged rent or anything towards the bills at my parents house. Instead of saving to move out, he buys mid life crisis cars and goes to Thailand for 3 months every year. He expects to stay in that house forever until he inherits it. My dad keeps threatening to charge him rent but won't actually ask my brother to pay, so my brother refuses until he actually gets given an invoice. It's sad.
My sister and I were able to move out because we weren't charged rent, but we wanted to move out. I'd still be there living for free if my parents weren't infuriating to live with.
UziYT@reddit
There’s better ways to teach them responsibility, Anglos will charge their kids rent then wonder why Jeets and Jews are able to get ahead in life quicker
rkr87@reddit
Yeah? I'll trust scientific studies over the foolish words of an ignorant racist - call me crazy.
UziYT@reddit
I’m not being racist, all I’m saying is that it’s not the 1990s anymore and it’s already much harder for us young people to step up the ladder, living with your parents is an easy way to build a deposit yet boomers are stuck with the old mindset and think that they should charge their kids rent.
It’s dumb. Your “scientific” studies are outdated. We have to compete with the whole world to get jobs in our local area, don’t make it any harder by charging your kids rent.
rkr87@reddit
"Jeets and Jews", "I'm not being racist". Pick a lane, stick to it.
UziYT@reddit
How is that me being racist? In fact it’s probably the opposite of racism because I’m appreciating how these ethnic minorities tend to be high earners in the uk (well, pre-boriswave)
And even then, how does it invalidate my argument? I guess if you’re keeping your kids rent secretly and saving it for a deposit or something, then it’s alright. But in any other case, it’s just selfish. If kid has a job and isn’t being a bum, the best thing you can do for them is not charge rent.
Also, may you link the studies that you’ve mentioned?
Wild_Leading2240@reddit
Yeah id charge them 500 but that would be going into a separate account to give back when they are older. Like a sneaky savings account but wouldn't just be spending it.
Frothingdogscock@reddit
"paycheck" 😂
MrFuzzy182@reddit
Mine charged me £200pcm but secretly saved it to help with a deposit for a house when I was ready
CuteAssociate4887@reddit
My parents took £50 per week of my £60 odd pound wages when I left school and got an apprenticeship.
I had enough for my weekly bus pass left. Absolutely miserable existence with your new work/college friends wanting to do fun things and get into the world.
As you said your kind of stuck in the situation,left the apprenticeship that was really sought after and hard to get into and worked in a factory so I had some money.
I never charged my children or my partners from her previous relationship because of that,asked them to give what they could,and they were always pretty generous.
ok2888@reddit
A small amount if you are employed is normal, but if you are unemployed and/or being charged far too much it's in my opinion straight up abusive. Like your parents want to keep you locked down.
In my opinion the amount you are charged plus extra is a bit ridiculous. You could get a room in a shared house for that and it's preventing you from being able to save. If my parents were charging close to or more than what I would have to pay on my own, then they can go fuck themselves. What possible benefit would there be to living with them.
When I got my first job after uni, my mum tried to get me to pay her £3000 for the year I had been unemployed and looking for a job. I had to tell her to go do one.
Acceptable-Minute-94@reddit
500 a month for a single room?! That's only £60 less than my rent for a one bedroom flat.
My parents only charged me £100 when I lived at home. 500 is insane.
emjayem22@reddit
My wife and I cut a deal with my son once he started an apprenticeship after college.
Don't pay us rent or for bills.. instead put the money aside for a deposit. He is expected to tidy and clean and even cooks the dinner once a week.
He's now 22 and has been doing this for 4 years, paying into a lifetime ISA (which also gets him an extra £1000 from the government every year) and extra into his work pension.
He's got around £20k saved for a house deposit and I'm expecting him to move out in the next 18 to 24 months.
I consider it a win-win scenario.. he has a saving focus with a real goal of getting on the housing ladder in his mid 20s whilst we know he won't still be living at home into his late 20s.
ResponsibilityOld372@reddit
Usually people growing poor like us are expected to contribute more than middle class folks growing up, that's normal. I used to contribute rent before I moved out but not 70% of it lol. That's too much for a 21 yr old in this day and age because house prices have also become more unaffordable. I hope it's not your parents demanding it and it's you offering that much.
MisterIndecisive@reddit
Very reasonable at that age when you're in work
Admirable-Ask-3017@reddit
you think? its just leeching off something you put out into the world
MisterIndecisive@reddit
You could easily flip it and say same the other way round. Getting charged well below market rate isn't leeching. Pretty every case I've seen whenever it gets brought up is they'd have to pay more if they moved out and stood on own two feet.
Namiweso@reddit
“Charged well below market rate” sounds silly when it’s your own parents charging you. That’s like me helping my mom in the garden and saying I charge £50 by the hour. Like I’d expect nothing and if she had more money herself she’d probably drop me like £20 or something but market rate? Get the fuck out of here.
Charging someone 30% of their wage PLUS food is crazy. My mom charged 10% including food and every time I got a pay rise it stayed at 10%. It’s not like she had any worries about me wasting the money as I was a massive saver. Maybe that’s the only time I’d say charge a little more but 30-40% is mental. How does a young adult have a life.
MisterIndecisive@reddit
I'm not even going to dignify that with a proper response as clearly your head is in the clouds
Namiweso@reddit
You clearly love ripping off your family whilst wasting away money you don’t need so I’m glad you didn’t.
I’d be renting and wasting even more money if my mother didn’t do this so who is the real winner here?
fleapuppy@reddit
Depending where she is in the country, £500 for a box room is not well below market rate.
MisterIndecisive@reddit
She obviously isn't living up north somewhere where a house is like 50k
fleapuppy@reddit
She’s in a £700 per month council house from her other comments. £500 for a room is taking the piss
jiggjuggj0gg@reddit
£500 for a box room in a house that costs £700! OP is getting shafted
Sword-of-Fuheis@reddit
Honestly I admire late twenties savings with their parents much more than those spending £10k-£15k a year on a spare room or flat.
Specialist_Sport4460@reddit
Why are you even basing your admiration on this?
Sword-of-Fuheis@reddit
Saving money rather than frivolously spending it on themselves. Know many cases of people who could’ve very easily lived at home but choose to rent.
Specialist_Sport4460@reddit
How is renting a flat frivolous?
Sword-of-Fuheis@reddit
When you could live with family otherwise. You are spending £10k-£15k on a luxury that could otherwise be saved towards families wealth.
Specialist_Sport4460@reddit
Oh you're a money is more important than anything else person. I get it, difference of opinion.
Sword-of-Fuheis@reddit
I wouldn’t say so I could probably be earning a decent amount more if I was such a person. I’d just say it’s quite selfish towards your future family that you are spending £10k-£15k a year on renting when you could be saving towards a good lifestyle for them. This is £100k-£150k even before we consider a compounding, that covers the deposit and makes some in the house price too, especially if you go to cheaper areas. The alternative seems to be renting forever, which is a money sink and will drain your future family of the money they could use.
TedBaendy@reddit
Admire? Some of us didn't have the option to live with our parents after turning 18 mate so that's an odd choice of words
Opposite_Art5474@reddit
I was kicked out at 15.5 years old. I was living under a bridge while I finished my GCSEs. I used the lockers at the swimming baths to keep what little bit of clothes I did have safe, also used the showers there. On my 16th birthday 8th July 2002, I walked in to the local council at about 10am and said I’m homeless and have been for 6 months. Explained how I’d been living and that social services didn’t help me because I was nearly 16. She told me to sit and wait and by 11:30am I was handed some keys to a flat and that was that. I was sent on my way with a tenancy agreement, rent payment card, a fist full of cash for decorating and carpet, some phone numbers to get white goods in the kitchen. Best thing that could have happened because I ended up moving to a 3 bedroom council house in a nice part of town which I bought at a massive discount through the right to buy scheme. Lived in it for a good few years and sold it for full market value a year ago
Emotional_Way_5093@reddit
Wow that sounds beyond tough,I can’t begin to comprehend kicking a child of 15 yrs ( or any age ) out onto the streets. So pleased things worked out for you ,and I hope you are happy .
Sword-of-Fuheis@reddit
I am one of those people ironically! I’m thinking more of the contrast between those who stay at home and those who move out to a spare room/flat just to have fun. Many such cases in London.
Did_OJ_Simpson_do_it@reddit
Why? The former is a mummy’s boy and the latter is an independent man.
celestial-bloom@reddit
The narrative that you cant be anything but a "mummy's boy" or somehow severely stunted by living at home is fucking hilarious. It's such an older generation mindset. Most of these "independent men" you seem to admire will be renting for the rest of their lives because their money goes to landlords every month. I'd rather my money went to the people that raised me so they can be more comfortable financially. I'm either in the garden, my room, or outside, buy my own food, clean up after myself etc. Why is that worse than paying a stranger to live somewhere probably three times the price 😭
Did_OJ_Simpson_do_it@reddit
Are you planning to live at home till your parents die?
celestial-bloom@reddit
No, but I'd rather be 35 with a mortgage than 45 and paying rent. Not everyone is privileged enough to have a high enough paying job, sure I'll get there eventually but I wouldnt be able to rent & also save for a mortgage in my current position. Unfortunately for my generation its the norm to not be able to afford a mortgage until our late 20s or early 30s. My best friends parents house was 60k when they bought it and they just sold it for 720k. 60k is my deposit & emergency fund & move in money. Not an entire house.
Standard-Standard214@reddit
There comes a time in your life when you want to be able to relax in your house with your partner with total privacy, it's not ideal for that to start at 35
Sword-of-Fuheis@reddit
Different game once you have a partner, splitting a one bed/studio is both more affordable and a much better quality of life than spare room. But I’d also say this is a tough economy and we have to grind for our own and our children’s future. If that means spending some time sharing with parents to save £10k a year, which could easily be a third of post tax income, then that’s just what you have to do.
Standard-Standard214@reddit
Fair. I appreciate that. Ultimately people have to do what they can afford. I never had the choice to live with parents, I was forced into private renting after university. It has cost me thousands.
However I don't really resent it at all. Spareroom etc isn't always a bad thing. Living with others can widened your social circle, allowed you to meet partners, and help you look back at your 20s with quite a lot of good memories spent living with friends. I spent covid locked in with four of my best friends for 18 months - stressful at times but I'd rather that than my parents, personally.
It's also (probably ?) easier to find a partner and date if you aren't living at home. Dating is one of the most important things in your life, and I worry people might put it off until their 30s because our 20s have been turned into a financially focussed decade.
Sword-of-Fuheis@reddit
I found Spareroom depressing at best and a constant source of stress at worse. But enjoyed living in shared flat in uni. So happy it worked with you.
On dating, I always thought it was because the apps are so catastrophic, but now I’m seeing reporting that coupling and number of children is tanking round the world that makes me think there’s probably something else, deeper going on, but i don’t know.
jabbo13@reddit
Ridiculous statement.
skkkrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr@reddit
Yeah I would’ve saved at least 30k-40k over the past 2 years on rent + bills.
Don’t think older people know how bad it is out here for rent.
Alarm-Different@reddit
What parents don't seem to get and people of that generation is that it was so much easier on average to move out and buy your own place back then. In today's world I think it's so shortsighted if you charge your child high rent (anything more than £300 is unreasonable) unless your parents can't afford it. By doing this you're effectively hamstringing and delaying not only your child's independence but your own.
Frap_Gadz@reddit
How is providing subsidised living arrangements not also hamstringing and delaying their development of freedom and independence? You're effectively making them dependent on you until they are eventually willing to take a cut in expendable income.
I think you've got it completely backwards.
Alarm-Different@reddit
Do you appreciate how hard it is to live away from home and rent and save unless you have a very well-paying job and live frugally? Especially in London. This is where your argument falls down because if parents don't make that sacrifice they're condeming their children to rent for a very long time making them much poorer in the long run.
Frap_Gadz@reddit
I left university in 2008, lived in London for nearly three years, found another job elsewhere because of COL (yes, worse now although wages are better especially at the bottom rung), moved in with a long term girlfriend, now wife, managed to finally buy a house in a much cheaper area a little over 10 years ago. Not living where I would love to be, but getting by OK and living within our means. So yeah I do appreciate it's not easy.
What your saying is right if those people are saving and working to get out of that situation, but is that always the case?
For me if it was my son as an adult living at home he would have to contribute, but I would funnel it into a help to buy ISA and a stocks and shares ISA in his name. I believe this would not only help him save, but also help him learn important lessons about living within his means once you are directly responsible for living costs.
Alarm-Different@reddit
Ok it's not always the case that's true but it's those people who are saving and renting who need the help the most. If someone has parents who are going to help them with the deposit then charging rent is probably fine. Another thing to add is that with rising numbers of single people a lot of people don't have access to the cheat code of buying or renting with a partner which I imagine benefited you. Re your final paragraph I respect that but that's effectively the same as not charging rent. Lots of parents out there just want the extra cash with no return.
Frap_Gadz@reddit
I would bet it's not always the case or even in the majority of cases in a meaningful way, statistics show as a country we're awful at saving.
I don't think having a partner is a "cheat code" any more than living with strangers or friends would be, I wouldn't have been able to buy my house ten years ago it probably wouldn't have been until about 5-3 years ago, but I could have afforded a one bed flat (initially this is what I looked at before my wife decided she did want to buy a place together). I think buying a house all on your own has been a very rare thing for a very long time.
Ultimately as a parent you're responsible for your children until they reach adulthood, beyond that it's entirely a free choice. It's also entirely up to adults everywhere to manage their own finances and financial situation. I'm lucky I probably won't need rent of my son when he's an adult and I will help him get on his feet, but I won't be enabling an unsustainable lifestyle by subsidising him.
Alarm-Different@reddit
Im sorry but it absolutely is. Nobody really wants to buy with friends in reality. Having two wages for mortgage purposes and splitting half the rent for a 2 or 1 bed is a cheat code.
Frap_Gadz@reddit
Renting alone is entirely possible, but buying isn't as affordable on average wages, don't really think it has ever been, possibly for a time during social housing and right to buy. Even when housing was cheap either mortgages were very strict or interest rates were very high.
ZonedV2@reddit
I think any rent is unreasonable unless the kid is actually putting strain on the parents finances, then it's fair if they actually need the money to cover the costs of having an extra room/bills/food. The kid literally exists as a choice of the parents, no one is asked to be born and I think most kids want to move out when they can so the obvious reason they're still at home is because they need to be.
wishbonegirl@reddit
I charge my 22-year-old son £300 a month, so roughly the same age as the OP. I don’t see how I’m being unreasonable. If he didn’t live at home, I’d likely be in a smaller property with lower council tax and bills, or I’d use his room as a home office and allocate more towards my own investments.
Having another adult in the house naturally increases costs. That’s just reality. Groceries alone have gone up significantly e.g my usual shop costs noticeably more now than it did in October 2025. If my son weren’t here, I’d spend less on food, easily saving around £50 a week.
The “no one asked to be born” argument doesn’t apply here. it’s an irresponsible take when we’re talking about a fully grown adult. Parents have a duty to raise and support their children into adulthood, but once someone is over 18 and capable, that obligation changes. I’d only agree with that argument in cases involving minors, people in full-time education, or those who are unable to support themselves because of any disability.
The OP’s parents didn’t ask to be born either, yet they’ve taken responsibility for their lives and moved forward independently. By 22, you’re a functioning adult, and your parents have already fulfilled their role in raising you. At that stage, you’re not owed ongoing financial support.
That said, I’m not against the OP moving out and in fact, it could be a valuable reality check. It’s easy to assume things will be better, but independence comes with its own financial pressures.
OP, have a proper conversation with your parents before turning to the internet for advice that might not serve you well. If you want a new bed, buy one and take it with you when you eventually move out. But depending on where you live (especially anywhere near London)£500 won’t go very far. I live in London, so I’m speaking from experience. My son hasn’t rushed to move out; he’s focused on saving for his own place, and he understands that £300 a month doesn’t even cover the groceries, family time and other perks he benefits from.
ZonedV2@reddit
Well like I said if you genuinely need the money and not profiteering from your son I don’t see an issue. My main point is you’re making it tougher for them to move out and it’s a pretty uniquely Western cultural thing to say ‘alright you’re 18 you’re on your own now, you gotta pay your own way’. It goes the other way as well, when you’re old you’ll probably need help from your kids
Frap_Gadz@reddit
You're not being unreasonable these adults are completely delusional if they think their parents job is to subsidise their lifestyles in perpetuity. Anyone who believes otherwise is unbelievably entitled.
Alternative_Week_117@reddit
Whats the cut off age though? The op is 21 does your argument still apply if they are 40?
ZonedV2@reddit
I don’t think there’s a one size fits all, I know people who get on really well with their parents and don’t want to move out and their parents don’t want them to move out. I think if it gets to the point where both parties just want to cohabit then paying rent is fair and I guess the cut off for them in my eyes would be around 25.
My main point is if your kid doesn’t have much money and wants to move out and you’re taking money away from them then you’re just prolonging the problem and making it harder for them
wishbonegirl@reddit
18 and working is the cut off age IMO. If they’re 18 and in FT education, then parents can continue to support of their own volition and as much as they are able to. Once you’re over the age of 18 and earning money, a parent is just doing a favour by accommodating you. The entitlement people have these days is genuinely disturbing.
Gullible-Hose4180@reddit
Tbf an 18-21 year old often doesnt have the same earning ability as someone older with even minimum wage being set lower for some reason, so I would personally not charge my 20yo rent, regardless if she works
LogicalMeerkat@reddit
My parents charged me rent, £200 a month. It was mostly for the life lesson of budgeting for the payments I have to make before spending on other things. (jokes on them, I'm a scrupulous saver anyway)
They didn't need the money but equally, I was earning more than my mum and eating all their food, it seemed fair.
If I ever need money from them in the future, I'll get back more than I have ever paid them.
I think it gave me a healthy relationship with money and thought me life lessons.
However OP is being overcharged, they're being changed more than half the household rent.
RadaghasztII@reddit
Making them pay their way is good. If the family isn't well off then why not pay your parents to support the family.
Alternatively if the parents are doing well money wise, it is still good for the kid to pay a little something just to understand that nothing in this world is free. I know enough people that were given the world and they never respected money and turn in to little brats in their 20s
WavyHairedGeek@reddit
I think the important questions here are:
1) is this enabling you to save? 2) what are they doing with the money you give them?
I ask because I knew a guy who was paying a big chunk of his wages in rent to his Mom, who had a mahoosive house she no longer paid mortgage for, a very well paid job, a partner with a well paid job, and who went on holidays to Spain 2-3 times a year while her son was unable to save and unable to go anywhere.... I've lost touch with him but I do hope that woman was saving his money in some account meant to help him with his first house deposit or a wedding or something. I doubt it though.
casual_rapore@reddit
You have good perents they are teaching you how things work in the real world. If you move out you will have experience on how to live. Where as your friends who pay nothing will all be lost. So be thankful
TD_Meri@reddit
£500 might seem like a lot to pay, but is it really? It’s covering your rent, council tax, water rates, electric, gas, internet, possibly tv streaming services, tv licence, maybe contents insurance. It’s HIGHLY unlikely you’ll be able to move out and live somewhere else independently for £500 a month.
A lot of people on here seem to think all parents have the luxury of being able to afford to let their adult children live at home rent free and not have them contribute towards any bills. Sadly not everyone is in that position financially.
Aching_dream@reddit
Where abouts in the uk are you? If you can find a place at a similar price I’d move out
bjakb@reddit
Parents could be putting a nominal fee towards the house, and putting the rest aside in savings. My parents done that, although nowhere near as much as £500.
mclardy@reddit
I would never charge my kids rent to live in their own home. I brought them into the world, it's my responsibility to provide them safety and shelter.
BagOFrogs@reddit
Not when they’re an adult though? Sure, it’s your responsibility to house and shelter them when they’re still dependents, but at some point people have to learn how to stand on their own two feet. I know we have a stay-at-home adult generation now but something’s wrong if a healthy working adult needs looking after and being supported by their mum. Or worse, if they don’t ever feel the need to ever be independent.
mclardy@reddit
If they ever need a home they'll always have one with me as long as I'm alive. Of course I want them to make their own way and I'll absolutely help them to do that, but if they need me I'll be there. No charge, no conditions just a home whenever they need it.
BagOFrogs@reddit
I mean that’s not controversial- not many parents would kick out a grown up child if they needed support because of going through trauma or bankrupt/unemployed or homeless or something.
I’m talking about working grown ups who never want to leave their childhood home because they like living for free and getting their chores done for them. Nothing against parents who support that, it’s just a shame for the adult children who become permanent dependents.
Unable-Object-8469@reddit
I agree, I don't understand parents who are not in financial difficulties and charge rent to their children. You don't stop being a parent when your children are 18 years old.
Alternative_Week_117@reddit
You don't stop being a parent but no one wants to be living with their adult 'children' either.
RealisticL3af@reddit
i would understand maybe if OP was 40, but theyre like 21. Thats a perfectly normal age to live with parents
Unable-Object-8469@reddit
My child can live with me as long as she wants.
Bigalz777@reddit
I know some wont agree, but personally I don’t think it’s fair to charge rent. Because you’re working, if they added up all the utility bills and divided it by the amount of people in the home so it’s all a fair share then that would be ok. Maybe add an extra contribution to the food if you eat their food. I couldn’t dream of choosing to have a kid and charging them to live somewhere they didn’t even ask to be.
I moved out at 16 because i wanted an apprenticeship and didn’t want to go college so my mum wanted me to replace every penny she would loose from child benefit and child maintenance from my dad. I got fostered for a few years and my foster family did the whole utility bills divided by the people in the home and i paid £150 a month. This was over 10 years ago and i know prices have changed but i think anything over £300 these days would be way too much. Sorry if this isn’t the answer you wanted
Outrageous_Ear5628@reddit
Honestly, if a 4 bed flat costs £700 a month rent, id of looked for a 1 or 2 bed flat a ling time ago. Its not the amount thats being paid that is questionable, its what you could get in your area for that coat. You could literally have your own 2 bedroom flat with all your bills covered for about £900 a month if a 4 bedroom flat is that cheap. Im not against living with parents, im 31 and still do but in contrast that 4 bedroom flat around me would cost over £2000 a month to rent
SuccessfulNothing950@reddit
£500 can get you a 1 bed where I live that’s wild.
Worldly-Stranger-528@reddit
I take 200 a month, pay for all the food , cook , clean they dont even wash their own pots or clothes. They insist on takeaway at least once a week . He is 19 and got kicked out of his parents for physically assaulting his mum . He works and gets around 1200 after tax each month . He has been here almost a year now , goes out every evening after his dinner and is out the door by 8.30 on a morning. His parents did warn me about the laziness but I thought I knew better.
Hopeful_Lake9382@reddit
it completely depends on your parents financial situation and to a lesser degree how much water/electricity/gas you use.
Ninjataye@reddit
Even with heavy use £500 is taking the piss when they buy their own food as well. The parents should be "charging" them for how much it costs for being there not to make money from their child.
Hopeful_Lake9382@reddit
I spend over £600 a month on running computers 24/7. not normal I know but people do it. if i moved back into my parents i wouldnt expect them to pay for it. I was trying to highlight that the post doesnt give enough information. in general i'd agree though unless the parents were going to have to downsize otherwise.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i’m barely at home so not much, i’m out on the weekends and out of the house 11 hours a day on the weekdays. my parents aren’t rich but they do okay.
Fine-Philosophy-9844@reddit
Have you asked where the rent money is going then? They sound to be treating you like a tenant lol
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i know where it’s going 🤣 my dad’s pack a day cigarette habit and my mom’s habit of getting starbucks daily
SirLow8846@reddit
Im 26, still live at home and Im on about £1,600 a month.
I give my mum £300, then I do a shop for £100/£150 and pay for WiFi (because she doesnt care about how fast it is and I do care, so I pay for decent wifi).
All my friends who live at home pay rent/board
Miasmata@reddit
My parents never asked me to pay rent, but then again I moved out at 21 to go to uni. But tbh I doubt they'd ever ask, maybe only if I was just planning to live there and not actively saving to move out
InzzyV@reddit
I think yours seems a lot for your age and life situation.
I’m 29, live with my dad in our original family home with my partner - my brother and his partner also live here. We all work full time, all moved back roughly 2/3 years ago.
We all pay £200 rent each (£400 per couple). It’s a spacious home, no mortgage. On top of this we contribute equally to food and bills.
My brother and I plus partners are undertaking a self build - planning permission has taken around 2 years, and we building to take at least another 2 years.
My dad may not have a mortgage, but there’s a lengthy list of maintenance needed on the house. Our rent covers the cost of contractors where needed, or reimburses him for the time he puts in.
Also, we’re all adults. My rent is about 10% of my take home. We all contribute equally to bills and food on top of this. My brother doesn’t make a lot of money so it’s a bit more of a struggle for him. I plan to significantly reduce my hours when we start building the house, and my partner even more so. It will feel hard to pay rent throughout that period, but we’ll just have to get on with it.
I think my situation is very fair - but agree with many on this thread that yours seems a bit much.
Prologic87@reddit
Its not unusual for someone over 18 who is in full time work to contribute to the upkeep of the house monetarily.
That being said I think you are being charged a lot. Its also weird that you give them extra money.
Obviously it depends on location but I pay 850 for a very large, very nice one bedroom flat in an excellent location in a major city.
For 500 you could at the very least get a better room elsewhere and not have to give your parents extra money.
But honestly if you are clearing 1900 after tax, get a lovely flat to yourself.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i don’t mind helping out but i just think it’s a bit much. i don’t eat any of their food, do my own chores and i’m almost never at home. on top of that i have to deal with them and help clean the home as well my room
i’ve been considering moving out
PopLoud4602@reddit
Its nice and admirable that you donbt mind helping out, but they arent helping you out?
FearlessLime8089@reddit
Are they disabled or in some way genuinely needing help? Are they working? Where does their money go? It sounds abusive. Unless you’re leaving bits out.
Airurando-jin@reddit
Yeah, you’re paying two thirds of the rent. Even if you include council tax on there.. that’s still alot.
And that’s a key point. You’re an adult and should be listed for council tax
Strong_Definition_94@reddit
I've seen nice house shares where I live (more expensive), where you can get a double room to rent for £500-600 (utilities included), or like £600-700 for a large double ensuite room. You're definitely overcharged and should move asap, you'll feel much more free.
Numerous_Mistake6741@reddit
Whilst what you give your parents is a lot - I personally do not believe in charging the kids but each to their own - however be careful that you realise that when you move out you’ll have to pay for water, electricity, gas, tv licence if in the uk, broadband, content insurance and a whole host of other bills. That extra you currently have after paying your parents will probably be reduced to nil and start fending for yourself. As anyone who’s mortgage free will tell you: there are still other bills to pay. So, do your calculations wisely and negotiate a lower amount with your parents so you can save up more.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i’ve been considering moving out with my best friend and we’ve calculated that a 2 bed flat with bills included would cost us £400 each which is less than what i’m paying now. hence why i’m a bit pissed at what my mum and dad are charging me
soulslinger16@reddit
The issue with moving in with a mate is you need a contingency for when you or them inevitably partner up with somebody and want to break off.
400 per month sounds like an underestimate too for half of rent and all bills. Make yourself a proper financial statement (google it).
BTW unless you literally live in your bedroom you aren’t just renting a room because you have access to all the shared spaces. That said, you’re being ripped off to the extent your parents are going to struggle without you!
I think your parents
nfyofluflyfkh@reddit
I genuinely mean this kindly, but as adults we all get our own food, clean our own and shared spaces, pay bills plus rent or mortgage. It seems like you have reached the very natural and positive stage where you are ready to leave home and enjoy independent living. Enjoy!
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
yes, duh. but you’re doing so independently, not living with parents
nfyofluflyfkh@reddit
Yes, that is the choice. You’ve been choosing to stay. And when it starts to chafe doing it with parents it’s a signal to strike out on your own and be independent, as is only natural.
Prologic87@reddit
I agree, it is a bit much. I think moving out is certainly a great option for you considering your income. Good luck!
glytxh@reddit
500/month gets you a two bedroom house with a garden around me.
Admirable-Ask-3017@reddit
where lol
glytxh@reddit
Coal used to be big around these parts.
phatboi23@reddit
i live in an ex mining town of 20k people.
1 bed flats can go for £800 a month private rent.
2/3 bed terraces are £700 a month.
glytxh@reddit
It’s a varied market.
3 miles down the road from me are million pound houses.
phatboi23@reddit
same, go a town over one way you're looking at £1200 a month for a flat.
£1500 for a 3 bed.
town the other way £500 for a flat
£450 for a terraced house... but by god i wouldn't wanna rent the house haha
glytxh@reddit
I’m a sucker for a proper shithole. They feel real and human to me. I like the texture and the people. And there’s always some drama kicking off. I call it street telly.
Did grow up in some god awful 90s council estates tho.
phatboi23@reddit
you'd love some areas of the town i live in then hahhaa
glytxh@reddit
Used to live in one in Wales where you could literally buy drugs from the ice cream van.
The valleys are an odd place.
phatboi23@reddit
we had one of those round here a couple of years ago...
a cheap pack of baccy and a 99 was a fair deal tbf :D
glytxh@reddit
We used to be a proper country
phatboi23@reddit
hahaha
Embarrassed_Emu7973@reddit
In Manchester it wouldn’t get u a lump of coal
Imtryingforheckssake@reddit
Won't get you a room in my city, they're around £600 - £700.
glytxh@reddit
I’m paying just over 340 for my one bed flat.
And I’m firmly convinced this is probably one of the cheapest homes available to rent in England.
It’s very crackheady around here, can’t lie, but cheap is cheap, and I’ve got a really good front door.
Imtryingforheckssake@reddit
I moved out of home into a dodgy bedsit 25 years ago and it cost more than that. 😭
glytxh@reddit
Every time I’m tempted to move (this place is hardly my retirement plan) I spend half an hour browsing options and quickly realise that no. I’m quite satisfied here for now.
ameliasophia@reddit
Yeah it depends where OP lives. My best friend rents his two box rooms out to lodgers for £500 each and we’re not even in London.
If OP can genuinely rent somewhere cheaper himself then he should move out and do that. Otherwise, I understand it sucks that no one else has to pay their parents rent but not everyone’s parents are in the same position and I don’t like to judge people for being poorer than others.
Organic-Apricot-6330@reddit
And then council tax? Water? Electricity?
Prologic87@reddit
Yes she will have to pay for those. We all do. Its not prohibitive to living alone.
But I would say getting some independence is worth it.
Or she could even move In with a friend, share those bills.
Getting out of that house is the best choice regardless i think.
Kadaj316@reddit
Would love to be one of those parents who doesn’t need to charge their almost 21 year old rent, or be in a position to save the money and give it back when she leaves. But we’re a one working parent family (I’m disabled) so she gives us a couple of hundred to cover what we lost in benefits when she left education. She has more than enough to have a life and still save. She’s happy. But everyone’s circumstances are different. Still, 500 sounds like a lot…
PopLoud4602@reddit
I just dont get parents like this, i couldnt imagine robbing 1/4 of my childs paycheck, to me its despicable, i know life is hard but as a parent you have fucking responsibilities.
flaaaan_mon7@reddit
Don’t worry man, I went through the same thing.
Back in like 2018 I was paying my mum £80 a week to live at home.
All of my friends (who were also older than me) were completely taken aback by the idea of me paying rent.
It’s just a background thing I spose. I definitely come from more of a third class background and so my Mum needed the money. My friends, meanwhile, had parents who were still together with big houses and nice jobs and cars. Their parents just didn’t need the support.
KeepGoingOutOfSpite@reddit
From when I started earning, I used to pay 10% of whatever I had coming in, be it wage or benefits as my parents had the mentality that bills don't stop coming just cause you have no job. I'm 51 now, so tweak that % accordingly.
Also, they very kindly put it all in an account without telling me and gave it me when I moved out 🥰
disco_biscuits_84@reddit
I’m 41 and my parents had £40 a week, I think you should be paying some
It sets you up for paying your own in the future so
RandomSher@reddit
I personally thinks that’s a lot compared to what you earn and the fact you getting a box room. I actually lived at home for a while after Uni parents never charged me rent and was one of the main reasons when I came to buy a house I had enough savings to put the deposits down on a place all by myself eventually after I got married etc. I had moved out and rented for a few years but the money I saved while at home was key.
Harry98376@reddit
Not much point staying at home then is it.
0Taters@reddit
Similar to many others here I think paying rent is reasonable, but your parents sound like they are charging you a lot!
Be careful about your expectations of moving out, you and many other commenters here seem to have assumed your parents won't ask for money once you move out, but from what you've said about them I'm not convinced. I could well see them still asking/expecting you to contribute to those other bills, so I'd advise careful conversations to manage their expectations about when you do move. You potentially have a worst case scenario of having to pay the same as you do now to live on your own, and a huge breakdown in relationship with your parents - unfortunately it sounds like you might need to be the one acting like a 'grown up' to manage that transition!
Goe_Danger@reddit
One thing I have noticed in this thread is living in a council house has been mentioned but also the parents are on decent money? Plus they’re taking money from OP who has later mentioned they’re using it to keep up their “lavish lifestyle”
Am I the only one who I think OPs parents need a bit of a reality check? Surely council houses should be for people who are struggling financially? They’re not supposed to be a cheap alternative so that you can live a privileged lifestyle in other areas?
single_fileladies@reddit
I did some maths that if you split the bills like rent, electricity, gas, water, wifi, and council tax. Plus £20 a month towards household supplies (cleaning stuff or general upkeep) would be around £312 a month. The £500 you pay does seem very steep.
I am extremely jealous that a 4 bed costs £700 though. I pay £845 for a one bedroom flat for myself and the cat
Lost_Detective5429@reddit
people are meant to home to save cash and get on their feet 😭 id be a good mom fr
shinydoctor@reddit
I had to move back between the ages of 20 and 23 and my parents charged me £20 a week rent and food, utilities etc.
I have 3 kids now, one is working while at sixth form, one is doing his GCSEs, and one just turned 6. I'm not charging my eldest rent, I won't charge my other two rent when they are old enough work. I am their parent, I provide for them. They can buy their own food and drink if they want it, they can buy their own clothes, personal items like shower gel or hair stuff, books, video games, etc, if they want it. But I am their parent, so basic food, basic clothes, basic items like shower gel, toothpaste etc, all provided by me. Because I am their parent and I will provide a home and a loving environment for them. They do need to help with the bins and the washing up and the housework though coz they're old enough to pull their own weight in running the household.
aBlastFromTheArse@reddit
£500 is absurd. They should be encouraging you to stick £500 a month into an ISA
bekkkxo@reddit
I would say £500 is a lot.
I lived at home until 30 and paid £200 towards electricity/gas/water etc but my mom is a single parent so I didn’t mind helping her out with bills as i was an adult in full time employment. I done my own grocery shopping. I was still able to save enough a month to buy a flat alone.
BreadfruitOk5332@reddit
Well you aren’t a child and you earn a decent wage so I think the title is a little misleading….
sushixa@reddit
“decent wage” oh my god it’s so fucking over
BreadfruitOk5332@reddit
For somebody in their early twenties with an outlay of £500 a month it’s a fine wage.
sushixa@reddit
1900 is fucking shit why do we put up with such garbage lmaoo
MisterIndecisive@reddit
The entitlement is unreal
sushixa@reddit
entitlement = wanting to not be paid min wage, very good argument
MisterIndecisive@reddit
It's better than most european countries. Don't like it then put the effort in to work your way up.
sushixa@reddit
i make a good amount thanks, doesn’t change the fact that 1900 is not a good wage and should not be seen as such
MisterIndecisive@reddit
It's a fair wage for someone just starting in the working world.
sushixa@reddit
it’s min wage mate
MisterIndecisive@reddit
I'm not sure what you're not understanding. You can't expect 100k on your first job
sushixa@reddit
if growth in this country wasn’t dogshit then sure you can, in fact i am on around that in my first job.
MisterIndecisive@reddit
If you aren't bullshitting then I see why you can't understand. A tiny amount are getting that.
BreadfruitOk5332@reddit
Tbf if you couldn’t live off 1400 a month after bills then that’s a bigger reflection on you.
I’d fucking love to have that much left over after bills every months
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
but i don’t have that much lol. i have to pay for my phone, driving lessons, transport, groceries and everything else
Background_Lion_1389@reddit
But they don't have 1400 after bills. The 500 just covers rent. Everything else still needs paid and on top of that the parents seems to regularly ask for more money. And the goal should be to save up to move out but that might not be possible in the current situation (or take a very long time)
sushixa@reddit
then work harder?? not really sure what else to say lmao
we need to stop the poverty olympics in this country it’s genuinely so odd
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
yeah honestly 🤣 i’ll be the first to admit i make shit money. why is minimum wage considered a good wage as if it’s not the BARE MINIMUM a company has to pay
BreadfruitOk5332@reddit
What the living fuck are you on about? Poverty olympics?
Dopey cunt 😂😂
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
if you read my post i’ve edited it, i made an error. i also don’t think NMW is decent…
BreadfruitOk5332@reddit
Do you work more than 40 hours a week then?
Because a 40 week on NMW pays a good £150 less than that a month.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
45 a week
Ok_Landscape_8215@reddit
As a parent of younger children, one of my main financial goals is to save for them to give them a kick start in life.
My parents helped me the same way, assisting me with a deposit for a house with an affordable LTV interest rate, which has helped put me in a position to do this.
Charging rent would be literally the opposite of this.
I understand families that are on the brink of poverty, but for those that charge rent to support their lifestyle creep, it just poor parenting in this economic climate for young people.
Meand3xxx@reddit
My daughter is 21, she now pays 300, i work but topped up with UC. She was paying 250 but when she turned 21 UC took £90+ off me, so I explained i needed to up her money to £300, I felt it was unfair to suddenly up it the extra £90+. She earns roughly same as you. But I want her to save up for a newer car and other things, and enjoy life whilst she's young. The money she pays actually covers roughly 50% of her things that come out of my account though. Phone contract, amazon music and other things that were done through me before she turned 18. She buys some of her own food and snacks but I will get it if needed when doing weekly shop. My rent is around £800 per month and council tax £175. I have 2 other children under 18. I think you're paying a lot, is there any chance they're putting money aside for you? I've heard some parents do that.
inacrashx@reddit
500 for 700 rent does not sound fair at all
LivingPage522@reddit
You do realise that household bills are more than just rent?
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
Gas electric council tax maybe broadband and tele ? Probably 3-400 a month. They are paying nearly half the bills for a box room
Elegant_Emu8778@reddit
In London no, council tax alone is £300 a month, energy £300-400, mortgage £2.5k-3k a month. Having said that I have a double good sized room. But £700 you could not live out anywhere even a box in London for this. In London you’re looking at £1.5k a month for a room minimum all in with bills minimum. And don’t even start on a 1 bedroom that’s 1.8k plus bills.
WinHour4300@reddit
As it's council house, the council tax is unlikely to be a high band and so that much.
And the parents would have to pay it the same whether she lives there or not. They are the ones liable.
We don't know if she's in London, but you can certainly get a double bedroom in all sorts of London for far less than £1.5K.
Unless by London you mean "nice Zone 1".
Elegant_Emu8778@reddit
I’ve literally said it depends on the circumstances. Since their whole rent is £700, it’s too much, in my case it’s extremely fair.
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
Energy 300-400 a month ? You running a grow lad ?
Elegant_Emu8778@reddit
Nope my parents have 7 children & 6 bedroom house. Do the math!
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
May as well state the prices of running Buckingham palace if you are going to compare a 6 bed with 9 people living in it to a 4 bed lol
Elegant_Emu8778@reddit
I literally said it depends on the circumstances you donut. In London £700 is super fair and you cannot live out for that. I earn 2.4k a month, I’m an adult why would I be a bum and not help them? You sound entitled.
LivingPage522@reddit
Most redditor are out of touch. £1900 income is poverty levels (assuming op works full time on approx minimum wage) but £500 board is too much. Take away 200 for food. They are literally arguing that having £1200 disposable income is poverty levels. Their only excuse is youthful ignorance. Once they move out and actually have to start paying bills real life will come crashing down around them. Note that op hasnt moved out yet. Deep down they know that they arent getting a better deal anywhere else 😂
Elegant_Emu8778@reddit
Totally agree with you! People I know who rent, spend 50-70% of their income on rent and bills. In the posters circumstances, they are saying the total rent for their council house is £700 a month. Therefore charging £700 is too much in my eyes. However, for me in London, £700 is a steal! I could not get this lovely room, in this house with my family anywhere else. I have enough money to save and live a good life. I’m actually quite shocked at the entitled attitude of a lot of these adults, who believe because they were birthed, that means their parents have to keep them for free past 18. They need to come down to earth, I have friends that can’t live at home for various reasons, and they can’t save. That’s the reality of most people. It should be cheaper to live at home than live out for sure, but expecting a free ride in your 20’s is insane to me 😂
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
You LITERALLY didn’t say that, you donut
You came in with wild figures that are completely irrelevant to the discussion being had.
Is it “entitled” to not expect a child to pay half the bills when it sounds like there’s 4/5 people living there ?
clrthrn@reddit
I used to pay rent but only a token amount (£100 a month all in plus my mum did my washing and made my bed some days) Most people I know did. But no one paid over half the rent plus extras. At best you should be paying 1/4 of the rent for one bedroom, as that’s how a house share would work. Many house shares pro rate the rent by room size. I’d be having a chat with your parents and if they’re not willing to change then you need to consider other options. Unless there’s some circumstances not being shared, like unemployed or disabled parents who have their benefits affected by having a working adult in the house, then this sounds unfair.
WinHour4300@reddit
This is a lot of money. How much would renting a small room cost where you are or a very cheap bedsit?
I would start "mulling" moving out, and use it to negotiate a massive rent deduction. It sounds like they won't want to lose the income.
Persephone_888@reddit
I'm Asian so this stuff will never make sense to me. My children will never pay rent, save up for a car or house with that money. I don't need it.
RobertTheSpruce@reddit
I'm not a parent, but I can't imagine charging my children for living with me.
As a younger man, I would occasionally offer money but it was always declined
curious_kitten_1@reddit
You mention nothing of your parents finances. They live in a council house so it seems reasonable to make an assumption that they aren't flush with cash. It's possible you're even earning more than they are.
You're also in your twenties and you've been at work for a while now, and earning a relatively decent salary for your age. While £500 seems a bit high, especially with the extra bills you pay for, it's possible that they are really struggling financially and would have moved into a smaller property if you weren't still at home.
Have you tried talking to them about it? You could say you're keen to save some extra money so you can move out, and have a grown up conversation about it?
ADHDJ86@reddit
500 a bit steep for just a room, un a house if living with your parents. You are now a lodger
CNRADMSN@reddit
I paid £100 a month once I was working full time and lived at home earning 18k up to 21k (3 year timeframe). It was more of a lesson than anything, i'd of obviously preffered to keep it and spent it on lights out, but I thought it was quite a good deal considering I had my meals cooked, washing and ironing was done and the house was warm in the winter. Parents didn't need it as by the time I moved out they were mortgage free but it was the principle...
Funnily enough when I bought my own place they gave me about 3.5k out the blue towards getting furniture and stuff, so realistically they just kept it aside for me anyway...
Your scenario does sound like an awful lot for what you're getting... My mortgage when I moved into my flat was about £400 a month (2018) with a 20k deposit.
Queasy-Energy7372@reddit
My eldest is about to start a levels in September, I’m fully expecting them to get some kind of job and pay towards the housing/food when they do.
They know this, the ‘charge’ will be fair based on what they earn. That will cover all bills and food. Out hope is It will teach them what the real world is like and we will help them prioritise how they earn and spend.
What they don’t know is that it will all go to an account we don’t touch that will be given back to them when they eventually decide to move out hopefully to help them with a deposit for their first house.
mr_vestan_pance@reddit
I wouldn’t expect my kids to pay rent at home, but I would expect them to contribute to bills including food.
viva__hate@reddit
why are you paying so much more than half of the rent for one room in the house? and then they ask for even more? yes it’s a lot, it doesn’t even make sense why they’re asking for that much
Zbiffer@reddit
It sounds to me like you are paying most of their rent and them some! That is far beyond just contributing for your share.
I feel like you are getting ripped off.
Sterling_Fortune@reddit
If it’s a 4 bedroom for £700, I don’t understand why it’s not £700/4 = £175 for your share, plus your fair share of bills and other reasonable household expenses. Why £500?
fgjjgfyujb@reddit
It sounds like your parents ‘need’ this money so it’s not to do with fairness or them having the option not to charge you.
There may be a question as to whether this is best for you - ie could you move out and be better off?
If so it’s worth sitting down with them. If they are bad with money worth sitting down anyway as things are unlikely to change otherwise and you’ll feel morally obligated to pick up the pieces.
ElectricalSwan@reddit
That seems high. I’d be charging you maybe 10% of your take home and gift it back to you when you leave. How much is a room in a house share local to you? If it’s not much more I’d do that to be honest.
10deadpuppets@reddit
In 2008, I paid my parents £350 to live at home so I think £500 is fair in today’s economy. Bills are very expensive.
amytee252@reddit
Wait..your parents pay £700 a month to rent a 4 bed property from the council, yet charge yoy £500 plus whatever else you are giving them?!
Move out if you can. Your parents are just using you.
hitiv@reddit
Imo if my parents charge you, theyre not very nice people. Unless they’re struggling and need the help and ask for the bare minimum. £500 plus whatever else is absurd. Id rather pay a stranger to live in a HMO for that sort of money that give it to my parents because thats taking the piss if youre paying majority of the rent… each to their own i guess but my kids will never pay anything unless im planning on saving it for them
simple-potato-farmer@reddit
Back in 2022 when I fished uni at 21 I was paying £300/month and would cook for my parents once a week. That was while working about 35 hours/week at a shop earning about £1,300. One of my friends that currently lives with her parents is paying about £500/month
DOMiNO1892@reddit
£500 for a room at you’re parents is crazy considering the rent is £700. You are paying like 65% of the rent hahah.
inkydragon434@reddit
If the £500 is just rent then it seems high especially If the overall rent is £700 and there are 3 adults living there ( I’m just making the assumption as you said parents rather than parent )
If the £500 also covers your share of household bills ( gas/electric, water, council tax, internet ) then £500 seems fair .
If you are starting to feel resentful and are thinking about moving in with a friend anyway, would it be worth sitting down with your parents and asking to go through the overall household expenses (excluding food) with you? Frame it as you wanting to be prepared for moving out , rather than a complaint about your current rate, just in case they don’t look at the numbers and decide to up your current rent 🤣
foregonemeat@reddit
Cries in my £1700 a month a for two bed flat with damp.
Superspark76@reddit
My brother and I paid ⅓ of our earnings into the house. It seemed like a lot at the time but when we moved out and got our own houses we soon realised it wasn't.
You aren't just paying rent you are helping your parents at the same time. If you don't like it you can always get your own place and find out how much running a house actually costs.
haggis_catcher-@reddit
Move out and get your own place
sjw_7@reddit
I think its perfectly reasonable for an adult living at home who isn't in full time education and is working to pay rent.
When our kids are at that age we will be charging them and probably aim for £75-100 per week. But it will go into a bank account and given back to them when they leave as it will help them get on the housing ladder.
Its got to be said that your parents are lucky to be able to rent a four bed house for peanuts. And they have the audacity to charge you enough to pretty much cover the entire rent. They are taking the piss as far as I am concerned.
deaddaisyldn@reddit
My husband's family lived in a 3-bed council flat in Central London that cost and still does about £850 a month. At one point there were three adult children living there, each paying £150 in total, to cover rent and bills. I thought that was quite even and fair.
what-katie-did@reddit
I started charging when our daughter’s boyfriend moved in (both 21) a token amount £350 a month between them. They both work. Me and my husband are only in the house Monday-Thursday so they have the weekends there alone and have the heating on all the time in the Winter so the money covers that! Plus gives them enough leeway to save for a future home.
TwoValuable@reddit
£500 + your other living expenses is a lot of money to be at home. However your parents can charge whatever like like or you can leave. Personally I'd look at rent in the local area, and other options and see how much they cost just to give you some perspective.
Your take home is about average to most other adults. Realistically if you can get a budget going of £900 including rent and living expenses and save £1000 a month you can easily build up a nice deposit for moving out. A few years of hard graft in your early 20s will pay off for your late 20s.
For what it's worth I do think your parents are taking the piss, but not everyone benefits from parents being able to afford to fund adult children. My mum wanted to charge extortionate rent to my earnings so I went elsewhere.
TicksAndBricks@reddit
When I was 18 and working full time, I paid my parents £250 a month in "room and board" which was around a quarter of my take home wage (we're going back to 2000/1 here). Plus I did my share of household chores.
I never minded, only seemed fair to me.
Timely-Trick8467@reddit
The question is do you feel like it's a lot? Have a conversation with your parents about the cost and what is and isn't included. And ask why it's the price it is.
We charge our kids "rent". One is 19 the other is 22. They each pay £55 per week. One pays fortnightly and the other pays monthly. We don't charge them extra for utilities or WiFi etc. and they are free to buy their own food if they choose, but we also have food available they can have. We charge them rent because we would struggle financially otherwise. It's not ideal but we do what we need to.
Original-Chemical176@reddit
For myselfs, I pay my parents the rate maximum local Housing allowance for a single under 35, + an Equal spilt of all bills. Food is separate.
PurplePlodder1945@reddit
My daughters paid £150 a month. One just moved out but youngest (25) won’t be moving any time soon. I think what you’re paying is too much.
My kids are adults and both working - it was about 10% of their net salary at one point and I never increased it. It doesn’t go anywhere near covering actual costs like utilities and food and invariably they get more back than they give but they’re our kids; we like to treat them.
I try and put the money away into a separate account to give back when my youngest moves out. Older daughter had her share when we paid for a new clutch on her van and other repairs.
Early on I didn’t insist on lodge but it got to the point that I thought they were taking the Mickey - they were going away all the time, their salaries were totally disposable income, while we had extra costs because we were a household of 4 adults, they were also pescatarians so we’d buy specific food for them, and had to be careful of our spending.
We definitely have less disposable income than we would have if there was just two of us but I think the house would be so quiet without my daughter here
Loosee123@reddit
I think fair enough to pay, you are 21 and not in full time education. I personally have never been charged rent by my parents but I know people who have and it is reasonable. However I think that is a lot of money to pay to stay in the same bed you've been in since you were ten!
You say total-wise rent is £700 and let's say bills are £200, you should be paying no more than your share of £900. So if it's just you and your parents, £900 / 3 = £300 per month and then you pay for your food. The point of staying with your parents and not in your own place is to save so you should have cheap rent and bills in order to do that.
doorways-to-pleasure@reddit
My son pays £450 and buys his own food as he’s moved in from his nutter mother this price has been agreed as a 27 year old wasting his money and not valuing spending the money on a better living situation rather than wasting money on crap every month, my partner has a 19 year old daughter at home and she pays £350, she become very awkward with food so she now buys her own, my friend has a 25 year old son he pays £500 but she buys all his food and he is a greedy so and so who wants high end range food and he told his mum he’ll never move out. She’s a breaking point as he had a massive pcp car, wastes about a £1000 a month just buy crap, so there is one thing charging kids, those who say they’d never charge unless the adults kids are showing you their savings or investments for later in life such as buying a house all you are actually doing is failing your kids big style.
ReallyIntriguing@reddit
Always the parents in council housing who have no idea of realw world costs.
ClearAsMuggle@reddit
When I was 16 (20 years ago) I had to pay 25% of the rent.
Now that I am 36 and married - 50% )
PickOpposite1201@reddit
My mum used to charge me £350 a month for just the room and bills; I had to get my own food. That was 12 years ago.
jdnp97@reddit
IMO being asked to pay 70% of the “rent” when your parents are already saving a fortune by living in council housing is pretty gross and they are taking advantage of you.
Your living circumstances (which are similar to mine) should mean you are in a better position than most to be saving money for a future house deposit etc, while also paying your fair share towards bills, council tax etc.
BSturdy987@reddit
I don’t get it. You are paying £500 in rent to your parents, but the total rent to the landlord is £700, so parents are only paying £200? Or are your parents paying an additional £700?
TipNew7714@reddit
I used to pay £250 a month when I was in my teens and working full time. My step daughter now pays £300 and is in her very late teens & working full time.
ReallyIntriguing@reddit
Thats crazy to me. Your basically covering the whole rent almost. This is what parents in council houses don't understand, its PEANUTS!!!
Ikhlaq_h@reddit
Considering the disgusting state of house prices in the UK. When my children are adults in a few years. I wouldn’t charge them rent.
Me and my wife decided we would take some money per month to teach them responsibility and then secretly save it and gift the entire amount to them when they were ready to buy a house.
Kids never asked to be born. We gave them life and bought them into this world. We should help and support them h til they are ready to move out. (Am not talking about deadbeat kids but hard working kids should not be taken advantage of )
edison9696@reddit
My eldest child has just moved back home from university to live with us and starts a graduate job in autumn on £27,000. We will charge her £100pm to begin with to contribute towards food and bills.
You're parents sound terrible TBH, given the amount you're giving them plus asking for more on top and spending it frivolously. I'd be looking to move out ASAP.
zibafu@reddit
I give 250 via bank transfer, and also pay for the internet and TV package so just shy of 300 a month
MisterIndecisive@reddit
It's absolutely laughable how some children and parents think the very notion is absurd. Currently in school, just left/graduated, health reasons or unemployed but actively all understandable.
If you're working you should be contributing unless you have a part time job/very low pay. It actually helps you grow as person and teaches you responsbility. I totally support saving it up and giving it back at the end when possible for that reason.
Frap_Gadz@reddit
It's total entitlement to expect other people to subsidise you, outside of extenuating circumstances, if you're working full time and earning a normal wage. It's poundland trust fund baby behaviour.
More-Yard5742@reddit
£200 a month all bills
ClassicFun2175@reddit
Absolutely zero. It genuinely infuriates me how parents choose to have children and then charge them money to live in there house. If the parents want the children to be paying rent then tell them fair and square that at 18 they should just move out and have freedom. I went through the exact same with my parents and the amount of fighting and arguments it caused was crazy. Started at 300, eventually went up to 600 a month. If I'm paying rent then I don't want to be treated like shit. It got to a point where I just peace'd out of there and got my own place. I have my own kids now and would never charge them a penny to live with me.
Frap_Gadz@reddit
Shouldn't leaving you parents home be a normal step in becoming an independent adult?
Wanting your kids to be fully independent adults who no longer need your support should be the goal.
DrFabulous0@reddit
There's people who just scrape by, then their kid becomes an adult and they get much less support all of a sudden. It's entirely right that an adult should contribute towards their household. But most decent parents are putting at least partially of that money away to give you back when you do move out.
wishbonegirl@reddit
As I said somewhere above, my son gives me £300 a month. I’m probably not a decent parent then, cos I don’t put it aside for him. It goes straight into my stocks and shares ISA 😂 My living costs would go down by c£650 a month if he didn’t live at home and eat for king and country. My fridge/freezer is filled with food that only he eats but I pay for.
I’m not moaning about it but I think people need to understand that in a lot of cases having adult kids at home costs more for parents.
FearlessLime8089@reddit
So much of this depends on context of individual situations. If an adult is working full-time why shouldn’t they contribute? But the question is not only what’s fair, but what the parents can afford. And also things like would that room be rented if the child weren’t in it? I am retired and have had a series of M-F lodgers to help with costs. And cat-sitting. Kid home for the summer — no charge. Kid home looking for full-time work after Uni — no charge. Kid home, working full-time — minimal charge from which I’ll contribute to their ISA.
FuzzyPalpitation-16@reddit
i used to be so confused over the western way of “once you’re 18 you’re out) as i grew up with an asian mother who would never once do that lol
NewDate6115@reddit
Think that's mostly an American thing to be fair. I'm in the UK and haven't really noticed this attitude as much over here.
FearlessLime8089@reddit
Yeah by all means generalise about 350 million people plonker.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i am also asian :p
Scared_Funny_5602@reddit
Exactly. Why have children if you're going to charge them to live in your house? Unless you're genuinely destitute. When I turned 18 I started hearing the "why am I paying money to feed you when you're an adult. When I was your age I had moved out" whilst demanding I apply for disability so I could give the money to her. Lmao
Ninjataye@reddit
This topic always gets me annoyed especially seeing comments from people that seem to view their child as a tenant who owes them. If you want them to pay for how much it costs to house them then fine but so many people actually make money from their own child it's downright scummy. Like I've legit seen arguments from people saying about contributing towards council tax and heating etc when even if their child moved out they would still be paying the same for those things..
earthandanarchy@reddit
It depends, my council tax is going to go up when my son leaves education because I will no longer get the single person discount, but TBF that's a tiny amount and if you aren't single then yes it adds up. My housing benefit will also go down, which makes no sense because if he moved out I'd be entitled to the full amount as I'm out of work due to health issues and have other kids, I'm also overcrowded so it's not even because of that, it's just how the rules are. He runs baths, turns the fan on, uses his pc for hours every day, turns the kettle on, uses the tumble dryer - those things do add to the bills.
jiggjuggj0gg@reddit
Kind of wild for you to not work at all but expect your kid to go out and top up your benefits for you, because god forbid he uses the kettle.
earthandanarchy@reddit
19 is not a kid, I have major health problems so I really can't work. It's not how I wanted things to be but I realistically can't afford for him not to contribute something towards bills. His dad has been in a brain injury rehab for the last 2.5 years so he hasn't been able to help or contribute. Cost of living is much higher than it used to be and it's just the reality of things. Your judgement of me isn't going to change the reality of our household. Even with him contributing I will still be getting less income because I know he won't be earning enough to pay what I currently get from UC for him, I'd never want him to feel like he has to pay a lot but he will be contributing. I also want him to know that he will always have a place here that is more affordable than moving out, ultimately it's his choice. My point was though that extra people in the household do create higher bills.
Mysterious_Cat__@reddit
"Extra people in the household" this is your child you're talking about, not a tenant. Although I do empathise with your health struggles and hope things overall get easier for you.
ReactionCreepy428@reddit
I won't charge my children rent, but I do think charging for what they cost you is fair enough.
I've seen some parents charge their kids just below market rate because that's what they could get if they had a lodger (they would never have a lodger), and they justify it by saying it's cheaper than they could get elsewhere. That's absolutely mental to me lol
Ninjataye@reddit
That last line is the worst. Parents who want their children to be worse off than them are so unbelievably selfish and if you're charging your own child more than they cost to house then you're basically a scam artist in my eyes
Elegant_Emu8778@reddit
Don’t agree, you are not a child at 18 I’m sorry. If you want to live at home in a cost of living crisis as an adult, then pay towards that. You really need to live out to realise how much food, mortgage or rent costs, energy etc. Why should your parents have to pay your full keep? Obviously you don’t pay the same amount as living out or you’d just move out. It doesn’t teach anyone life skills or is it fair to be an 18+ adult living with mummy and daddy contributing nothing. My parent’s electricity alone is £400 a month, that doesn’t include their 3k mortgage, other utilities, council tax for them £300 a month. It’s actually so much money, and I’d feel like a total bum & actually disgusting not helping them. Just because you’re their child you’re not entitled to anything as an adult.
mad_saffer@reddit
Sounds like you were completely taken advantage of. Our kid is paying a salary relative "rent" so that they can learn a bit about budgeting within their income, and how to save and not just blow their entire salary on stupid stuff. We are saving that little bit of rent she pays to give back to her one day when she wants to move out or buy her own home.
Roseoman@reddit
Yeah that's how I feel too, im never gonna charge my kid a penny
Danglyweed@reddit
We weren't asked for board money granted i left just before 16 but my brothers stayed til early 20s. We got milk, bread etc and topped up the electric when needed.
Standard-Standard214@reddit
It's not always as simple as that though. If you have money in the bank why would you take from your parents? Every shower you have, every meal you cook, it costs money to whoever the billpayer is.
There's a perception that older people are all well off, but some people go into retirement with not very much and if their kid has been taking handouts well into adulthood, they're essentially taking from a parent's retirement money.
earthandanarchy@reddit
Why would I tell my child he has to move out over the sake of a couple of hundred a month? Not every parent is in the same financial situation when their kid turns 18 as they were when they have birth. It sounds like you don't have the best relationship with your parents and that's a whole other matter and not really related to whether or not the parents can afford to support an adult.
Gr3yC4t@reddit
I pay £350/month, which is the highest of all my friends. Washing gets done + food though and I pay for half of the internet since I work from home (voluntarily).
I also voluntarily put my board up to avoid the discussion of when/how much it should go up by. Considering my take-home pay is a bit more than yours, yeah, £500 is a lot for a room and no food included.
Famous_Clerk_7529@reddit
Must be living in London?
60percentsexpanther@reddit
Look on spareroom to join a house share. You'll live with other professionals for similar cost. Try it out for 6months - you can always (never) go back.
Far_Macaron_2622@reddit
It’s a good thing to pay your way if your working as there’s no such thing as free housing in life. It gets your habits ready for the bigger world and budgeting whilst still having the safety of home
Flimsy-Sheepherder98@reddit
Like everyone else I think £500 is absurd ! I do charge my 21 year old (£125 a month) but that includes all food, washing, cleaning etc. I’m planning on giving half of it back when he moves out eventually.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
£125 is the dream🤣
Flimsy-Sheepherder98@reddit
He moans, but I don’t think he minds really. He definitely eats more than £125 worth a month 🤣
Pure-Dead-Brilliant@reddit
If you’re paying the lion’s share of the rent then you should have the largest room.
RoyalConsistent@reddit
40 pound per week
fluentindothraki@reddit
It seems a bit steep. Have a look at what you would pay in a flat share in a similar locale - Ideally, you should be paying between half and 2/3 of market price.
That said, if your parents are struggling with money and you don't mind supporting them, that's how it is.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
the decent flatshares are £500-700 all bills included, some of the shitty ones go down to £300 a month
they’re not struggling which is what annoys me. our rent is £700 a month
fluentindothraki@reddit
You might be better off in a flat share then! I found house sharing really good, it teaches you about people and negotiations but it's also good fun
Outrageous_Shake2926@reddit
When I was unemployed in late 1980s I paid my (retired) parents £21 per week , which was half the unemployment rate at the time. When I got a job I they asked for £25 per week. I paid them £50 per week.
I would suggest paying them whatever the current unemployment rate is.
the_uk_hotman@reddit
Honestly if I were you then pay ¼-⅓ of your take home pay your contribution isn't just for the room its to contribute to ALL the household bills. The fact you buy your own food is irrelevant and that you offer to help out when there short of money. Think about what they've done and doing for you. How much would a 1 bed flat cost to rent plus utilities and council tax ? More than what you give them
gemgem1985@reddit
You pay £500 of a £700 a month rent!? That's diabolical, I'm sorry, that's absolutely unacceptable.
bellabanjsk@reddit
I used to pay £300 a month for a box room at my folks about 20 years ago now, so apparently equivalent to about £563 today. However, this covered my food costs and that’s where I think your parents are asking too much. I also had to chip in if we got something like a takeaway but day to day food costs were included in that.
imnotagamergirl@reddit
Normal to pay something (even tho also normal to not pay) but you are def paying way too much given that you cover like 75% of their total rent costs. If I were you I’d move out
stewpman@reddit
Yes 500 is fine cost of living and everything. That barley touches gas and electric. I used to charge my son 150 but he was a bit of a slob, you would go round collecting pots after him and get sick of telling him . You have to remember it teaches them to learn to pay bills ,when they leave the shock will get them. Rent ,council tax ,gas ,electric, water ,tv licence ,Internet, sky and food bills . Will bite them in the house they have to know how to spread them money you dont want them to fail.
matweat@reddit
If they’re only paying £700, why are you paying so much? I’d pay my third of the rent plus a bit for bills. Maybe £300
SprinklesSimple231@reddit
That’s definitely a lot to be paying. My brother lives at home (an adult) he pays my Mum £150 a month for his food, gas and electric.
Phil24681@reddit
That sounds way too much, sounds like they are taking advantage of your good nature. Surely maximum you should pay is £350 month, if there main rent is 700? I would see if you can get house Share for cheaper if they don't backdown on that.
Trekunderthemoon@reddit
I feel like your parents are taking the piss. You living at home doesn’t increase their rent. While I think that you should contribute to anything that is more expensive because you’re there like the electric bill for example I don’t think you should have to pay rent. Also if you’re in a council house your being there might save them money in some circumstances because the house isn’t under occupied. Also even if you should pay rent on principle you’re occupying one room. A quarter of the rent it £175 not £500!
Rowdy_Roddy_2022@reddit
Your parents are taking the hand out of you. I can understand parents charging rent particularly if they have their own bills to pay, but that's extortion.
I never paid a penny. My children will never pay a penny to me. I don't know of anyone in Northern Ireland who has ever been asked to pay rent to their parents, so maybe a cultural thing?
Consistent_Pie4275@reddit
It depends what they’re doing with the ‘rent’. If they’re keeping it, they’re shit parents, if they’re secretly saving it up to give you back when you move out towards a deposit for a house or something, kudos to them.
Wot-Died@reddit
I pay zero to live at home for now. And I buy my own food, clothes, Netflix etc.
Essex-girl-1@reddit
Social housing would have informed your parents on how much rent youre expected to contribute as you’re a working non dependant in full time work.Same with council tax. The household bills like water gas electric internet tv licence will be down to your parents discretion. 500 for a room with your bills included is a fair price, I have seen hundreds of rooms the same price band as yours.
Jondazefreakofnature@reddit
It really depends. Do you need the money? My mum charged me a £100 per month when I got my first full time job at 21. The amount of food I ate at that age it probably barely covered it, let alone anything else. It was more of a moral contribution rather than anything that had a real impact on the household finances.
Emotional-Leader5918@reddit
Your parents are taking the piss. Charging you £500 for a room in a £700 flat? I'd move out on principle.
Independent_Lab7371@reddit
£500 is definitely alot to live with your parents. I think some rent is expected especially as you say you didn't go to uni so left education a little while a go. Do you get on well with your parents? It could be that they want you to move out. Keep saving and move out when you can. It's tough on your own but you'll be glad you know how to save. Rent and bills can be brutal especially as they rise a little each year, as does food too tbf.
Ok-Following-6620@reddit
When I left school & first got a job at 16, I was earning £20.48p a week, I gave my mum & dad £6.50 a week. It made me feel so good & proud of myself that I was contributing to my family.
Gloomy_Custard_3914@reddit
I agree with your friends, I also think it is absurd to pay rent to your parents. I never did, my sibling doesn't, my kids never will.
Lion-Resident@reddit
Take the rent, WiFi bill, TV licence bill, water bill, energy bill and council tax bill, add them all together, divide it by three (if there are three of you in the house) and that is what you should pay each month.
hippiehappos@reddit
Usually the rent is to pay for the food you consume I’ve always thought for the most part, and electricity water bills ect but since you pay for food seperate it seems your paying just to live in the box room !? Which seems obsurd for £500
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
this is what all of my friends say. i’m barely even at home so i’m essentially paying £500 just to sleep in the same bed i’ve had since i was 10. my parents even ask me to pay for any takeaway i get with them
monkeyshoulder22@reddit
What's your parents economic situation? They maybe need the money. They may also be trying to get you used to paying your way before moving out. I know people who took dig money from their kids to get them used to paying bills and handed it them back once they moved out. If you're feeling hard done by you can always move out and see if you can get somewhere better for your £500.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
we’re not rich but they earn a decent wage. we also live in a council house. but i know they’re absolutely not giving it back to me, my parents spend very frivolously and i know they dont make enough to be doing that
prankishink@reddit
You’re funding their lifestyle then, not bills. £700 for a 4 bed council house already means tax payers are subsiding you and your family’s accommodation. If they earn a decent wage they can cover that subsidised amount and I bet what you’re giving them is their spending money
Physical-Art-7898@reddit
I had to move back in with my parents for a short bit of time, they also live in a council property and as you might not know, that £500 is probably covering their rent or a good chunk of it, hence the hefty spending on their part. I would definitely look at moving out even to a roomshare.
No offence to your parents but thats pretty poor behavior in my opinion, my parents were charging me £500 + food money + electricity, after all my bills were paid and parents I wss out of pocket over 1.5k a month with restrictions at home, no blasting music, having to be wary of the time I leave and return to the house incase I disturb anyone. I figured the amount I was spending to live at home, it would be more desirable to pay the same amount but in my own property. I was correct.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i’m considering it, our rent is £700 a month so i know i’m paying a large amount of it. i also have restrictions, i have to time when i leave the house on the weekend because if they see me leave there’ll be a million questions. also can’t have food in my room, can’t play music and have to come back at a certain time. i really wanna move out lol
MushroomVolcano@reddit
You're being milked.
Physical-Art-7898@reddit
The amount your spending and depending on where you live, you could probably sustain yourself in a property of your own, once you do it though you'll likely never want to return home, i know i never did. The freedom outweighs anything else.
pickledperceptions@reddit
How much is their rent and bills? If they are paying forna mortgage then this is a whole different kettle of fish as well....
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
£700 for rent, i’m not fully sure about bills but i think it’s around £1050 give or take
pickledperceptions@reddit
Wow. For context as your moving In with a friend me and my SO pay 900pm each which covers food, bills, rent plus looking after 2 cats. All in all Our bills come to less then £500. We're frugal but not insanely so. I Heating a larger house will cost more obviously but not 100%+ more. can you ask for receipts?
fleapuppy@reddit
So you’re covering 50% of their costs for a box room?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
lol yes this is why i’m annoyed. they told me they have to pay for the family car too, but i never get any use out of the car because i get the bus everywhere so i don’t think it should be included
fleapuppy@reddit
Unfortunately it sounds like your parents are taking advantage of you. Stop helping them out with extra and put it in your savings instead, you’re already giving them plenty. And make a plan to move out when you can
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i don’t really have a choice because they guilt me into giving it to them. but me and my best friend are looking for a place together, it’s just difficult because we want to find something that is an equal distance from both of our jobs
_dentalt@reddit
Your parents are fleecing you wtf, they're shit
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
starting to agree 🫠
BootlessCry@reddit
Bills seem a touch high at 50% of the rent.
Away-Organization630@reddit
Your barley at home as your young and I assume going out, however yes to me paying rent to parents is very common, don’t fall into the trap of moving out it’s absolutely more expensive
kernowgringo@reddit
It's not great but I think you hold the power here. You need to discuss with them about what they expect you to pay every month and what you're going to get for it, no hidden costs. You need to be confident to say what you want and make your demands or else you'll move out ASAP and then they'll be left with no rent money.
Old-Attorney-3238@reddit
It’s rough, but it’s not crazy, although you feel hard done by, if you were out on your own no one is going to be upgrading your bed and your rent doesn’t go down because you’re out a lot, and I’d be shocked if you get anything good for £500.
To me this is one of those “it would be nice if they didn’t charge you, but they’re not out of order for doing it. You’re an adult, you earn decent money for your age, they no longer owe you anything and you’re free to leave if you think the grass is greener elsewhere.
Everyone is different and you might enjoy being out on your own if you can afford it, but it WILL NOT be cheaper or easier, try your best to just still be grateful, and you earn adult wages, buy a new bed if you want one with the £1,400 you have left over
codon_9@reddit
Man, that’s a lot. My boyfriend and I (both 30ish) are staying with his parents while we save for a house. We pay £100 for the pair of us each week and that’s for food. I’ll admit, his parents are clearly being exceptionally generous and we’re very grateful.
Daisy_Ruby@reddit
Is it? Check out rent for either a 1 bed or a studio flat in your area, you'll realize pretty quickly 500 in rent covers, rent, gas, electric, water, wifi, council tax, contents insurance I can tell you now you won't find anywhere for £500 a month with that included nope all that is separate bills & likely comes to more, then there's the deposit, estate agent fees, furnishings, because buying shit is expensive & then you have food & food is expensive all on its own atm.
Jemima_puddledook678@reddit
Except it’s not supposed to be the price of an actual one bedroom flat, because first of all it isn’t a flat, it’s a room in somebody else’s house, and secondly they’re OP’s parents? They’re still living at home?
Daisy_Ruby@reddit
It's still a damn steal in this economy, £500 is a bargain if op doesn't want to pay for their cigs, Starbucks & takeaways then they need to say that. Otherwise they'll continue to be the income that subsidies the over spending. The dad can switch to vaping an ivg 35xl kit & 6 pods is about £50/60 a month starting costs for 2 kits & 6 pods. Every month it's £30 far cheaper than cigarettes or baccy, the tax is also lower.
Op is on what 1900 yh your not gonna get a flat this year or in future that's £500 a month your looking 700+ a month rent alone, all the other bills there's another 400+ then there's food we all know that's going up. So yes 500 atm is a damn good deal.
stevoknevo70@reddit
Vaping is going to get significantly more expensive from the 1st of October when Vaping Products Duty (VPD) starts - 22p per ml of liquid/£2.20 per 10ml and that doesn't matter if it's pre-made/pods/shortfills etc - still cheaper than smoking, which is also getting an additional hike to not make it more attractive due to the VPD.
Daisy_Ruby@reddit
2.20 vs the what £15 tax on a pack that costs £18 quid. It was about £8 tax back when they were £10 a pack🙄 besides once they age out the smoking ban for those currently 18 they'll put the tax up on something else to fill the tax mans pocket.
stevoknevo70@reddit
Did you miss the part where I said it's still significantly cheaper than smoking...but it's going to bump up the price massively, especially for those who go through a lot of liquid given they're double dipping the tax as per because it's VPD AND VAT on top = an additional £2.64 on every 10ml, if you use 10ml per day that's an extra £80 per month for the end user in duty/VAT alone.
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
Can get a decent 2 bed flat near me for 500 a month, split between two people you are paying less than 500 each.
hippiehappos@reddit
Exactly for your parents to be charging you to live In their home in a box room for £500 it’s a lot, but yes I’m aware you won’t find elsewhere for that cost at all
SmoulderingTamale@reddit
Its normal and acceptable to pay some money to your parents to live with them. £500 is at the high end, and even more absurd because they’re asking you for money on top of the 500. You are paying for half the rent/council tax at that amount.
At a £1900 after tax income you should definitely consider finding somewhere else to rent, depending on the area.
FearlessLime8089@reddit
£500 if you’re sure they only pay £700 is INSANE. But, that said, have you looked at spareroom.co.uk to check market rents in your area? In most of London that’s a pretty good deal. If you are in central london then try to see it that way. If there’s younger siblings in the other two rooms then also consider that you’re helping them. Personally I’d charge my grown kids token rent if there were in permanent full-time rent bc otherwise it’d probably go on clothes and booze and each year I’d stick it in an ISA for them to have when they’re older.
badger906@reddit
That’s a lot! My mum charged me £50 a week! You’re paying 80% of their rent.
You could get a much better set up in a house share for less.
Alarming-Bee87@reddit
£500 sounds like a huge amount especially sharing a council place. I'm unfortunately still with my mum, me being over 30. I pay £200 and within that includes all my food and electricity, water etc I went away for two weeks recently and my mother gave me £100 back to cover the direct debits I would be sending whilst away.
No way would I be able to save and move out of I was paying much more (and I have offered more but she wouldn't take it). My mother is such a good person, I do realise how fortunate I am. I'm just giving my perspective.
Diligent-Put-1509@reddit
There’s no such thing as a fair amount. Every situation is different, from parental financial situation to cost of living in the area you live. Some are fortunate enough to be able to not charge at all, others are on the breadline. Regardless though it’s whatever your parents want to charge. You are an adult, and with a full time job are more than capable of standing on your own two feet. So you either pay what they’re asking of you and put up with the living conditions of that, or you move out. It’s a choice you get to make now, unlike when you were a child. You do come across as entitled with the “it’s not fair” attitude though.
govnyuuk@reddit
Jesus Christ 500 for what? I agree that you should be paying something but when the amount is like half of a flat share just move out. At least then you'll have some privacy.
PhattyR6@reddit
I paid up while living at home, but £500 for a box room at your parents seems absurd to me. That’s more than my mortgage payment each month.
TemplarCrusade@reddit
You pay £500 on a £700 council property? I'm sorry but they are using you, that's crazy.
Sure_Eye9025@reddit
You are paying over 70% of their rent and from the sounds of it not exactly getting other value beyond the accomodation. Sounds like they are really taking you for a ride
MRK3MP@reddit
That's way too much, especially considering the rent for the entire 4-bed home is £700.
In comparison, when I still lived at home 10 years ago, I paid between 200-250 a month to my mum.
My 18 year old brother (i'm 32) pays £300 a month,but my mother cooks for him, does his clothes etc. He has a double bedroom too.
Character_Savings966@reddit
Your probably helping them out a lot, if you really want to leave a room in a house share is same price as your 500 now. Do your parents both work
EVILFLUFFMONSTER@reddit
I charge my adult son £250 per month, but he doesn't do any chores other than his own washing, we provide all the food and cook and clean. He is on just over £26k per year. We are saving it for his future, but we did already gift him almost 8k when he turned 18, and paid for all his driving lessons which were easily a few grand.
Quite a few other parents, including his grandparents have said we should keep some of the money ourselves, but quite honestly I don't want it or need it, so I'd rather it be used for his future - though no judgement on my part towards people who keep it themselves.
MiguelBodrigo@reddit
In 2012 at age 22 I was paying £90 a week for an en-suite (shower+toilet) bedsit + shared the kitchen with other tenants.
Electric + water + internet was included in the price. £20 a week for food was a good middle ground between frugal and comfortable.
The on site washing cost £2 + another £2 if using the dryer
I didnt have much time for the gym or healthier eating due to long days/evenings spent working
I worked 6 of 7 days @£260 per week
Bear in mind these are 2012 prices + they werent far off living and paying rent @ my parents for less space, far more restrictions, and far more stress.
Since energy costs, rental prices and the general cost of living has massively shot up I'd say its likely you'll be paying a lot more than £400pm all inclusive and that it'll likely be more like 800-1k.
A list of bills most people come across when leaving home is water, gas, electric, council tax, tv license, mobile/sim, gym, travel; bus/trains/car. There might also be things like insurance in there.
Hopefully you are building up 3-6 months wage as emergency fund to keep your financial independence should anything crop up.
I was forced into debt + guilted for staying/leaving (and eating 1 meal per day) on a daily basis just by living at my parents house. I even 'owed' 1k which I was coerced into handing over out of a non fault vehicle payout (1.2k/loss of transport = loss of job).
So believe me i get what you're saying about being taken advantage of.
Personally I feel your comparison to friends may be the theif of joy because their parents are not yours + yours clearly had a plan to charge you like mine did. Better to focus on things in your control imo.
In conclusion, it's likely you'll be paying more than your current cost, but does your quality of life improve enough that it's worth it?
If you're moving I'd advise not to burn that bridge by talking on the negatives, only to talk on your excitement about moving in with a friend. Not all things pan out (including friends) so it might be in your best interest to keep the parents on side.
Taodaching@reddit
Everyone's situation is different. It's not so much what is a lot but more what is fair. What's fair for you & your family depend obviously then on what you need and what they need - to make ends meet, to be able to save for your own future, live month to month etc. All parents i know give everything they earn into making a home. When kids grow up and still live at home, this doesn't change. What changes is where you fit as another adult in the family: whether you want to contribute to stay, or live independently and what any of thwt looks like is between you and your family, not what your friends have/dont have.
bluesam3@reddit
An obvious absolute maximum that you should be paying is the total rent divided by the number of people, which you're clearly paying significantly more than.
Next-Ad1957@reddit
25% of their income.
PhilosopherNo8418@reddit
No offence but I don't understand why your parents are treating you like a tenant? You're their child ffs. £500 for a box room is a piss take. My kids are free to stay with me rent free for as long as they want to, as long as they help with some of the bills.
GoldRushUK43@reddit
My daughter and her boyfriend both work part time, I take £20 a week off them BETWEEN them, they buy their own food and I pick them up from work twice a week as there isn't a bus. I think it costs me money for them to live here 🤣🤣🤣
moosehead71@reddit
The wife and I looked for the cheapest room in a shared house in our town, then charged our post uni kids that. No bills, free food. Their rent has to be paid into their chosen savings account, building up a deposit for when they want to move out and buy their own place.
We don't want their money, but we don't want them wasting it pppppppppppppppppp rent to another landlord
JoshuaaQuigley@reddit
You're getting robbed honestly. Ask for a reduction of rent and state the reasons why they might agree.
fernofry@reddit
£500 is taking the piss if you're buying your own groceries. £350 at most would be your fair share.
I don't know if your parents work but it wouldn't be the first time I've heard of stay-at-home council house parents farming their kids
AmphibianNo8598@reddit
Yeah that’s a lot
lunara_arts@reddit
Yeah my half of the flat I share is about that including council tax and bills. OP is getting fleeced by their parents.
Caruserdriver@reddit
Unless the parents are saving some of the money for her (which i doubt). Yeah 500 is crazy for something that cost 700. Also seems dodgy taking rent for a council house. Yes, understand bills and food, but they're not exactly bumming around.
Strong_Definition_94@reddit
Even weirder that they ask for more, and op covers their own food. So theyre paying more then half the rent and utilities.
InsaneInTheRAMdrain@reddit
As with this persons parents, i too aspire to have a child to pay off my mortgage.
Mysterious_Cat__@reddit
Or several, like i saw from another commenter on this thread 🤣 profitable business
Head-Possibility-377@reddit
Nothing. The whole point of a family home with adults is that a child can stay there and earn money to help them move out.
Single-Aardvark9330@reddit
I pay about £500 to my parents, but thats for food, utilities, and car insurance / petrol (I use their cars)
I think it makes sense to cover your share of the bills, and I always expected to pay some money to my parents, but I don't think parents should be profiting from having a child live with them
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
yeah, i don’t use any of that. my mom will drop me off to work on her way to her job like once a month but i get the bus or ubers everywhere else. i don’t mind paying for a roof over my head but i feel like i’m getting robbed
Did_OJ_Simpson_do_it@reddit
I don’t mean to be rude at all but are you South Asian?
It’s just cos you spelt “mum” the Brummie way and your parents are vegetarians who want to charge £500 p/m for a box room so it got me thinking.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
lol i’m pakistani. my parents aren’t vegetarian though, it’s just me, that’s why i pay for my own food because they refuse to cook without meat
himit@reddit
Oh so your rent is both rent plus filial support then.
Hmmmm from a white English perspective you're paying a lot, but then I imagine your parents would be expecting to pay 100% for things like your wedding & maybe a downpayment on a house that lots of white English adults are expected to pay themselves?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i highly doubt it, we’ve had the wedding talk and my parents have said if i want to have it in their back garden then they’ll pay for it. otherwise it’s on me. they’re always telling me to save money for a house too so i don’t think they’ll give me that either
himit@reddit
sounds like it's more English cultural rules than pakistani ones then tbh.
Yeah, £500 is pretty steep. That's either "We're bad with money & need a subsidy" money or "We're raising the rent so kid moves out already" money.
FWIW my (white English) parents always charged me rent because we're reasonably low income and they needed the money. It was still only £40/week. (When I was 18; I moved out pretty quick!)
Times have changed & with cost of living etc I could see anything up to £400 as within reason, depending on circumstances, but even that seems a bit high if what you're saying re: rent/food/utilities is true.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
oh no it’s definitely pakistani, they tell me not to ever mention that i help out with bills because it’s embarrassing to take money from a daughter/s
i think it’s just them wanting to live a lavish lifestyle and not having the money for it so they take it from me. i don’t actually mind paying bills but it’s the amount that gets to me. i definitely pay for my own groceries as everything they make has meat in it. the only food i really eat of theirs is stuff like milk and seasonings
Mysterious_Cat__@reddit
As a fellow south Asian girl in her early twenties I can relate pretty hard. I pay "rent" which my parents wanted to increase by a further £100 a month and I refused. I also share my bedroom with my younger sibling. Im rooting for you, i really hope you can work something out 👍
Did_OJ_Simpson_do_it@reddit
Sorry, I misread the vegetarian part and thought it was the other way round. My bad.
DarkangelUK@reddit
That's definitely far too much, especially on top of your travel expenses. That'd be about 200 at most and the occasional buying everyone a takeaway on a Friday.
Away-Organization630@reddit
I paid £200 a month as soon as I started working full time, I also had a sister who paid the same. I was earning £1200/£1400 however it never rose until I moved out, likewise I generally did my own food shopping. This is going back 18 years. I would say it’s maybe a little steep £400 might be reasonable, but it was common in all my friends to pay board
Complete-Painting307@reddit
In our extended and close family we always gone by rule of 3, 3rd for saving, 3rd for spending and 3rd for bills which would include home rent, phone, subs etc.
dazed1984@reddit
The total rent is £700 and you’re paying £500?! Then buying your own food and giving them extra for what exactly? Yeah they’re ripping you off.
DEADB33F@reddit
20-odd years ago I was paying £250/m in rent to the folks (no bills and I wasn't expected to buy my own food unless I wanted something fancy).
...any time we were not in education we were expected to have a job and be paying rent.
Furicist@reddit
I had the same done to me, didn't leave, harmed my future by compromising my options when I was younger. Ended up me leaving because I couldn't afford to study properly while having so much financial pressure on me.
Mother also charged my brother who was slightly younger half what they charged me, gave him their credit cards and spoiled him rotten.
SilyLavage@reddit
It's fair to expect you to pay your share of the utilities, council tax, and groceries at your age, which you almost certainly do at £500 plus a month.
If your parents have any aspirations of you saving for your own house or just generally building up some savings then it doesn't really make sense to charge you rent on top – anything additional you pay to them is money you can't put into your own savings.
NoExperience9717@reddit
It's a tough one. If OP was living on their own they'd be paying \~£1200pcm in living costs mainly varying based on the rent (rent, council tax, utilities inc broadband, housing maintenance & cleaning costs). Less if living with roommates but certainly higher than £500. OP is paying \~30% of their post tax which leaves them 70% they can save which is far better than anyone renting. It is certainly relatively high (\~2/300 is probably fairer) but that's because parents usually subsidise their kids.
MissionLet7301@reddit
Yeah, when you're an adult and obviously your parents are adults you should be able to have a sit down and have an adult conversation about money.
Your parents should be able to point out where the money is going, and you should agree that it's fair (e.g. if your parents spend £60 a week on groceries, they shouldn't charge you £20 a week if you do your own shopping and don't share food in the kitchen).
It helps you learn a bit more about how much it costs to run a household too, so you don't move out somewhere thinking it's affordable and then get your first electric bill and panic (and it's nice as an adult child to know that your parents have got their finances in order and know what's going on - since that can often become your problem when they become older).
It depends a bit on how many people are in the house and things like that, but I'd be raising my eyebrows if someone told me they were charging their kid more than £300 for rent.
tender_dichotomy@reddit
You pay 71% of your parents’ rent and you contribute more financially on top of that. Just let that sink in for a moment.
cfehunter@reddit
if you're still at home as an adult, and earning money, then it makes sense that you should contribute.
Obviously not to the point that your pay cheque is going straight to your parents or anything, but something.
I'm not suggesting parents should charge their adult children for staying in their home, but just that it's perfectly reasonable to do so if it doesn't put too much financial strain on them.
BackseatBeardo@reddit
Hold on you’re paying £500 a month, out of a £700 a month house??
That’s absolutely too much.
Pay your own bills, food, do your cleaning etc but personally I’d not charge my kids to live in a house that I’m getting a cheaper rate on to begin with. Certainly not 70% of the cost
JackfruitPractical84@reddit
Every family is different. I’m 31M and still live with my parents but haven’t paid any rent (house is owned by parents, mortgage finished a few years ago). I’m saving for my own place though and save as soon as I get paid each month.
GlitchingGecko@reddit
I'd base in on their earnings, rather than anything else.
If you feed them and pay all the bills, I'd say about 25% of their take home pay, as I'd actually want them to be saving some to get their own place.
Your parents are taking you for a ride.
Perfect-Artichoke63@reddit
I'm in the midlands, it was about 15 or so years ago but I paid roughly £100pm to my dad when living at home. My take home was ~£800pm full time, at the time it was a tokenistic amount to contribute and he later gave most of it back when I moved out. £500+ seems excessive, especially if their mandatory outgoings (council house etc) are that low and presumably they're in full time work. £1900 would be the amount where you can just about survive completely on your own, depending on where you live, obviously it's gonna be more expensive living on your own but it depends on how much independence is worth to you.
Proper_Capital_594@reddit
I think you’re getting off lightly. I used to pay £100 a week. But that was 30 years ago.
swallowyoursadness@reddit
I really hope they're saving at least half of it for you to give it back to you. That's what I'll be doing for my kid if she's working and living at home at that age
jlangue@reddit
It’s a lot. What’s their mortgage payment?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
no mortgage. we live in a council house that costs £700 a month for 4 bedrooms
jlangue@reddit
So you’re paying more than half of the rent for your family’s council flat?
Whole_Necessary2040@reddit
Wow that's a lot. Do they have a mortgage?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
nope, council house. £700 a month
Whole_Necessary2040@reddit
Ahm is there a reason why it's over half the rent?
Broad_Traffic_7394@reddit
I think your parents think it’s time for you to leave. I also think you need better friends who don’t take the pi$$ out of their parents.
Jimny977@reddit
£500 for a box room when your parents get the whole four bed house heavily subsidised by the government for £700/month? Then they want even more on top? Your parents suck so hard.
lloydmcallister@reddit
I didn’t pay any bills but my dads house was mortgage free, also he never had the heating on or bought shopping. I plan on charging my kids rent when they start work, probably £200 a month, but I also have savings ready to give them as deposits for their own homes.
louiselovatic@reddit
A 4 bedroom council house for £700 and your parents are not rich but doing okay?! That seems fair
Tennonboy@reddit
I don't charge my 19 year old son rent but he pays a few small bills each month equivalent to 25% of the council tax. The deduction I would get if living on my own. Plus anything towards food that's specially ordered for him. Which is normally £30 ~ £40 per order every 10 days. But that's my personal choice
Stuvas@reddit
In my first job I got about £900 a month after tax, my rent was £350 for living at home with mum. Then I lost that job and because she had bought a car on the basis of me paying that much rent, I had to keep paying £350 a month, even though I then ended up on £4.68 an hour lul.
If I had had kids, I would've charged them rent at about 20% of their income, then kept it to one side to give back to them when they go to buy their first house.
Cultural-Tea9443@reddit
When I was 22 I lived with an ex in a house her dad had bought for her. She didn't pay anything but I paid some rent although nowhere near as much as what you're paying. My dad thought I should have had free rent.
I was lucky my parents never charged me..I stayed at home till I was 22 and it was clear they wanted me to be with them despite not contributing rent or anything for food etc. I moved back in at 23 before moving out again at 24 then mostly living elsewhere till I bought a house at 28
£500 seemed steep to me. It's good to be aware of your finances too so it can help in that way I suppose. That said I can't imagine charging my child rent but never say never
w33dmademegae@reddit
So it costs 700 and they charge you nearly all of that..I’m so sorry :(
Ill_Difficulty_258@reddit
me and my siblings pay digs and my mum bases it on how much money we all make, it goes towards bills and food etc. most of my friends don’t pay digs but my mum has done everything for us and she genuinely wouldn’t be able to afford the house without us contributing so i don’t mind helping her. with that being said, £500 is a crazy amount if you are also paying for your own food
Leg000las@reddit
£500 feels like a lot, I paid £300 a month when I lived at home and also covered my own grocery bills and did my own chores.
Electronic_Heart458@reddit
I bet your parents are not paying any tax either…. I just know it lol.
Bills & Tax: You can include a portion of your utility and Council Tax bills in the rent. Additionally, under the UK government’s Rent a Room Scheme, you can earn up to £7,500 per year tax-free (£3,750 if you split it with a partner).
Benefits Impact: If your lodger is not a family member, the first £20 per week you charge is ignored by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP). Any amount charged over £20 per week is counted as income and could affect your Universal Credit or Housing Benefit.
Did_OJ_Simpson_do_it@reddit
£500 for a box room is a joke. That’s above market rate in most of the country!
Elegant_Emu8778@reddit
Not London mate! You couldn’t find it, even a council property 😂
Did_OJ_Simpson_do_it@reddit
Yeah, I left London a few years ago so I'm not up to date on 2026 prices but in 2019 I was renting a box room in Brentford for £425 per month.
Here in Yorkshire, you can get a cheap 1 bed flat for £500 per month.
Elegant_Emu8778@reddit
Yeah fair enough up north. In 2008 you could pay £450 for a room in a 4-5 bed in London. Now here to rent a room in a 4 bedroom with bills is 1.3-1.5k minimum. And then there’s food 🥴
MorriganRaven69@reddit
This is likely very dodgy for a council house, especially with how benefits regard incomes.
Even looking at it as purely market value, I pay £525 a month for a decent size bedroom (I have king-size bed, a large desktop gaming PC and desk in there, and lots of storage) as part of a househare in a 2 bed privately-rented flat in a desirable, fancier bit of Manchester. I have the house bathroom to myself as my housemate's room has an ensuite, as well.
It's bloody steep what you're paying for a box room.
Realistic_Garbage839@reddit
My parents charged rent if any of us was still at home and working a full time job/ full paid job (so not apprenticeships) BUT they saved 90% of the money for us to have as a rent or home deposit. I say 90% because occasionally the month would be tight and they would use rent money to see the month through.
Elegant_Emu8778@reddit
Depends on the circumstances. For me living in London £700 including bills for double room in parents house is a STEAL, their outgoings are 4k a month in mortgage and bills. This doesn’t include food! If you are up north and your parents while rent is £700 total it’s not reasonable. But expecting to live for free is weird to me.
SafeLifeguard5785@reddit
nothing you dont owe your parents anything but its nice of you to offer paying them . We need to rid ourselves of the idea that children owe their parents something when in fact a parent choose to have a children and should therefore doing everything for their benefit
Alternative_Week_117@reddit
He's free to move out any time he likes.
getabath@reddit
I like this take
nitroxc@reddit
I'm mid twenties and pay my parents £120 a month for rent, im in the loft conversion which is a pretty big room. However I buy and cook all my own food and do some bits around the house and help them with things they'd otherwise be paying others to do.
The £120 a month is nothing compared to the £1200 a month i'd be paying renting a flat, im occasionally minorly inconvenienced with odd jobs i dont really want to do but hey i'd rather that than spending like 60% of my paycheck each month just for a crappy room.
I'd say it depends, food isnt cheap so if you're relying on them for food the monthly amount goes up a fair bit, also depends on your usage, for me i think my rent is reasonable because aside from being in the house, i pay for 95% of everything i do/consume. I'd say like £100-150 for basic rent is reasonable, as in if you're living there and not relying on them for anything else.
if you're relying on them for food etc. I could see £200 being reasonable, at the very most £300-350 if you're still effectively a child relying on them for everything. However £500 a month WITH also helping them with extra money is not reasonable. That's them using you to fix their financial mismanagement.
mikeyabee@reddit
our kids pay 20% of their paycheck, the first year they paid we where in the posistion to give it back to them at the end of the first year. they have been paying 20% ever since.
Xenozip3371Alpha@reddit
You are being taken advantage of.
When I lived with my dad the rent total was £550 a month, I paid £200 a month towards it, and we swapped randomly who paid for shopping.
LivingPage522@reddit
Its not a lot really when you think of basics such as rent, ct, gas, electric, insurance, other amenities like broadband etc. I dont think they are profitting from you. If you make £1900 a month thats about a quarter. Do you really think you can get everything you get at your parents for less elsewhere?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
yes i do, it’ll cost me £400 to live with my bestie, all bills included
LivingPage522@reddit
Then why arent you moving in with them? Problem solved.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
trying to. we work on opposite ends of the city and it’s hard finding a decent place where it doesn’t take either of us either to get to work
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
At most you should be paying a third of the bills, they are taking the absolute piss
HandInternational296@reddit
My son is 17, ive always said aslong as he takes care of his room and saves a good portion of his wages when he starts work full time I would never ask him to pay anything other then special foods.
But then again im lucky enough to earn juat enough where this is fine.
So I guess the fair amount is - it depends
CartoonistNo9@reddit
When I started working full time my mum took £150 a month off me and I didn’t mind at all. But at your age what you’re paying isn’t far off a mortgage on a small flat of your own.
ThatsJustHowIFeeeeel@reddit
£500 when the total rent is £700, AND you buy your own food and send them extra money?
Yeah I think you know the answer to your question here.
You should absolutely be contributing, but it should be probably about half of what you’re paying.
CartoonistNo9@reddit
I’d say your parents are getting a really good deal. So unless it’s a particularly nice, spacious house with really good facilities, you could easily find a nice room in a shared accommodation with people your own age for the same outlay.
omniwrench-@reddit
You’re in your early 20s earning 1900 a month and you pay 500 a month for a box room in a council house that costs 700 a month?
Get your own flat ffs, you’re being rinsed bro
TheCounsellingGamer@reddit
I think it depends on the circumstances. I'm 29 and still live with my mum. I don't pay rent because she gets UC, and the full rent paid. I actually save her money because otherwise she'd have to pay bedroom tax.
I do buy all the food and pay for the cats. All of us, cats included, eat really well. My mum has liver disease so nutrition is important. I probably spend about £200-250/week on food for us, and the cats cost about £80/month in their food.
Esexboy101101@reddit
I and my siblings were raised that we would give a third of our 'Take Home' Pay towards House Keeping.
ButterflyRoyal3292@reddit
In 2010 I lived with my girls friend at the times house and her mum charged us 700 a month.
The savage cow
YouNeedAnne@reddit
You pay £500 for a quarter of something that costs £700?
leodoesgaming@reddit
you're paying 5/7th of the rent, I think that's crazy. do your parents not work?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
they both do and they get benefits for my siblings because they’re under 18🫠
leodoesgaming@reddit
that's insane, they're basically robbing you. what do they even spend their money on?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
they eat out a lottt so i’m assuming that. my dads also a chainsmoker
giraffe_cake@reddit
I always think its absurd that parents make their child pay to stay at home. Sure, pay for your own food, car, expenses that lie outside of regular bills. But I dont think they should be expected to pay. I would understand co tributes as an adult like in their late 20s or 30s, but not for someone who is starting out. If I had children, I would not be expecting them to start contributing or if I were, definitely not that much.
That money should be going towards savings so you can move out yourself.
500 is a lot. My mortgage is 500. And I have a whole ass house, not just a box room. All of our expenses with bills comes to about 800 a month (not including food, car etc, just house stuff). You're paying over half of what we pay a month. I know i cannot attest to what other people's mortgages are and they can be a hell of a lot more per month.
You didn't decide what term/cost of their mortgage, so why are you being expected to pay for contribution to that? I can understand giving something to an extent, but that is way too much.
It just baffles me that parents expect their children to just start paying their way immediately rather than letting them build up and start saving for a place of their own, with their own money and getting a really good start in life.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i actually don’t mind helping out, it’s more how much i’m paying that gets me. i just feel like it’s a lot when all i do is sleep there
we live in a council house so our rent is £700, i don’t know how much it is with bills admittedly but my parents both work so they have enough money to pay for things without me
giraffe_cake@reddit
Nothing wrong with wanting to help out. I didn't offer to help my parents but they wanted me out of the house more 😂 I did pay for my own food and expenses and car.
I would ask for a reduction.
You're paying half their rent (350) and 150 towards bills, which is probably around half, if not more than half, of what they come to.
I know each house bills will be different. We pay about £40 for water, £120 for gas and electric, £35ish for internet (but we have a very good deal, no tv), council tax (band A) is about £140 and sim onlying phones that are £10 a month. So we may pay a little over 800 (with 500 for mortgage) for those expenses all together each month.
I would ask for a breakdown of bills because I think youre being taking advantage of. If you wanted to split bills 3 ways (providing you live with both parents), go for it. But i would definitely be asking for a reduction of charges because 500 seems way too much between 3 of you. It would mean that £1,500 would be going towards house costs each month, not including food, car, extras - which if thats the case you really need to be looking for better deals to save money because those kinds of outgoings are terrible 😂
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i’ve asked for a reduction and they said no, pointing out that it’d be more expensive to live alone. but it wouldn’t even because you can find hmos as cheap as £300 where i am. granted they’re shit, but living at home is pretty shit too
i’m sure i remember my dad saying our total bills are around 1050 so it’s not far off from yours. their argument is that they’re paying for the family car too but i never get to use the car and always get the bus so…
giraffe_cake@reddit
It is more expensive to live on your own, but you'd have an entire house or flat to yourself and more freedom. Sure, there may be unexpected bills and costs and things do break and shit happens. You're basically paying half their rent and bills while they only have to pay a quarter each. How is that fair?
A family car is a rubbish excuse. If they chose to buy new or an expensive car, thats on them. Not to put the offcosts onto you. Maintaining and running a car isn't really that expensive and not justifiable enough to raise your rent that much. If they bought a jeep explorer that costs about £100 every few weeks on fuel that certainly isn't your problem. I think the most i have ever spent one year to repair a car after mot is £500 and that was a big job (21 year old car that decided to just break everything in that year plus needed welding done). But if you break down cost of repair for another year would be less than £50 a month. Insurance is another thing, but I have been driving for 15 years and its like £240 a year. Fuel is what it is atm and does vary per month but its still not a justifiable cost - why wouldn't they want to just help you out? My parents, friends or family members have never in my life asked me to chip in for fuel money and i wouldnt the other way round.
I would certainly try save as much as you can before you move out. See if you have a good friend that you could move out with to help with costs. And I wouldn't be giving any extra money if they ask for it on top of the 500. If you haven't already passed your driving test, I would reccomend doing this as soon as you can as it gives you a bit more freedom but if you dont want to, its not the end of the world.
C2BK@reddit
You should ask. You might be very shocked.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i think i remember my dad saying it’s £1050 a month? around there
frontroomhog@reddit
I paid my mum £40 a week. Helped out with chores but wasn’t expected to contribute anything else. Depending on how much they earn I plan to charge my kids but put the money aside for when they need it.
BlackberryNice3371@reddit
Everyone's situation is different. If they are struggling and need help, you are in a different boat from your friends and I wouldn't spend too much time feeling wronged or unjust about it because such is life – a lot of families have a more fluid intergenerational arrangement.
If they are comfortable and just want extra cash or feel it's "fair", then I would consider it unethical.
If money were no object, I would say having an adult child use a room in your home should not incur rent, but would be reasonable to contribute to a shared food and utility bill.
BlackberryNice3371@reddit
I paid approximately $800 USD monthly while making maybe like $4.5K USD monthly which included food, cell phone, and some money toward a student loan they took out on my behalf and ended up unable to afford payments on. I also bought random nice-to-haves and some of my own food, never asked for payment if I did a grocery run etc. Basically I paid them a set amount and wasn't too stingy the rest of the time.
It was often an argument with the parent who doesn't control finances that she would call it "rent" – I think this was because she was charged rent (unfairly imo) when my dad's parents let them live in their basement for a while so her sense of what is right is a bit warped and I also make more than they do which I think can be difficult. They are not in a fantastic financial position, but also not urgently struggling. I was staying with them for complex reasons by their request, not of my own accord so it was further frustrating to be heavily pressured to live here and also asked to pay rent as if I was mooching.
I'm sharing this because it felt very isolating to be the only person I knew with complicated family financial dynamics. But it happens, even in very loving homes, and eventually you will move out and it will be a non issue. I'm sorry, it's a sour feeling to have to question if your parents are taking advantage.
HatersAreFans@reddit
When I was 18-25 living it home I paid £100 rent and didn’t know my parents saved it up and it’ll be added to my inheritance but they don’t know I know
Former_Option2066@reddit
That is bloody extortionate
19GreenDay82@reddit
My almost 20 year old daughter gives me £120 per month with similar earnings to you. I buy food for the household and specifics for her, I do her washing and I pick her up from work a couple of times per week. She buys her own toiletries and clothing. I pay for her phone sim which is £20 per month.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
that is the dream! your daughter is very lucky
19GreenDay82@reddit
Thank you. She has enough money to save which I have encouraged her to do and also go on holiday as its something I couldnt afford to do with my children when they were younger. Our first family abroad holiday was last year for my eldest son's 21st birthday.
I would say that if your parents really need the miney then I suppose its still less than renting on your own but I would have been a bit miffed at £500 as well as buying all my own food.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
that’s lovely, you sound like a great parent. i hope you had a good time abroad!
i’m mostly annoyed because they definitely don’t need the money and you can find decent hmos for £500 here that don’t come with annoying siblings and narcissistic parents 🫠
19GreenDay82@reddit
Aw thank you. I think that moving out for you would be a good choice if living at home isnt working out. You sound mature and I think you would be fine elsewhere.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i’m definitely looking into it, it would cost me £400 a month to live with my best friend: the only issue is finding a place that isn’t too far from both of our jobs
Intrepid-Nobody-307@reddit
I reckon they’re charging you as much because they know you can get somewhere for yourself for the same, if not less, money. They want to encourage you to move out. (You’d probably enjoy life more if you did!)
Moop_the_Loop@reddit
My 21 year old pays £200 a month. That covers all his food and bills and also takeaways and meals out. We still pay for his holidays as well so I don't think he's doing too badly.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
he’s doing incredibly. my parents ask me to transfer them for the cost if i get a takeaway with them. they’ll pay if it’s my birthday but that’s it
LadyMirkwood@reddit
I live in a council house and have two kids aged 24 and 25 at home. Both work full time and have their own rooms
The both give us £150 a month towards food, utilities etc. I still cook their dinners and do their washing. In July and December we don't take anything from them so they can use it for a holiday/celebrating/ whatever.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i would love this, they’re very lucky. i wouldn’t mind if the £500 included meals and laundry but it doesn’t
LadyMirkwood@reddit
It's a difficult one. As a parent, I think they are asking way too much, especially as the aren't doing anything for you and you're buying all your own food. Contributing is one thing, but you also need to be able to save to leave.
Mabe try having a sit down with them, explain you are trying to meet a savings goal to establish your independence. I don't think asking for a reduction is unreasonable. But if they are the type to argue and get shirty, maybe just stick it out. If the kick you out life will be much harder.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i have no issue at all with contributing but they don’t help me with anything. i have to pay for my own food, driving lessons, transport and phone bill
i’ve already tried that but it’s useless. i’m considering moving out with my best friend, we have come to a conclusion that it’ll cost us £400 each for a 2 bed flat with bills included
ermCaz@reddit
I hope your parents are putting some of that money aside for when you leave home cause you're getting taken advantage of. When I was at home, we split all outgoings between us (4) and my board money was £120..
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
lol no, my parents live a lavish lifestyle that they can’t afford on their wages so i know that’s where it’s going. £120 is a dream
ermCaz@reddit
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that! I wish you luck for the future.
Decent_Confidence_36@reddit
£500 is a bit steep but at the same time go try living on your own for £500.. not going to happen
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
there’s some decent hmos where i live for £500/£600, al bill’s included
Decent_Confidence_36@reddit
HMOs though.. Don’t think i could
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
living with my parents isn’t much different 🤷♀️
Decent_Confidence_36@reddit
Yea but their your parents, there not just random people that come and go
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
dare i say i’d rather have the random people? my siblings are also a nightmare
Decent_Confidence_36@reddit
Haha fair enough then, I lived my parents till 18 then went to uni (pretty much a hmo) then bought a house with girlfriend. If your not happy there then fuck it move out but finically you’ll take a hit
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i’m expecting that but at least it’ll be more chill than living with my parents. a 2 bed flat with all bills covered is around £800 where i am and my best friend really wants to move out too so we’re thinking of doing it together. it’ll def be cheaper too
Decent_Confidence_36@reddit
Go for it.. worst case scenario your back with your parents, go sign the paperwork tomorrow make shit happen
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
you right brother
Decent_Confidence_36@reddit
I want you to reply a picture tomorrow of the paper work being signed… life is fir living go live the fuck out if it
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
wise advice. first we have to find a place but after that the world is my oyster 🤞🤞
Decent_Confidence_36@reddit
Do it tomorrow..if you don’t that perfect place will be fine by Sunday
Wh4tshern4me@reddit
I used to pay £750 a month to live with my mum in 2010 onwards. Needless to say she was ripping me off and we no longer have a relationship at all.
I think £500 sounds steep, a contribution and covering your costs is okay but I highly doubt you cost them an extra £500 staying there
shanrees8@reddit
10% of their take home pay. That's what I pay
Puzzleheaded-Yak9722@reddit
Paying £500 rent when their rent is £700 is ridiculous. Especially if you’re giving extra money on top of that. AND you’re in the box room. AND you buy your own groceries anyway.
Do your parents work? Do you have siblings?
I can understand why some parents charge rent… it’s expensive. But honestly they’re just treating you like supplementary income.
I can’t really say for sure what’s reasonable, but I wouldn’t think you should pay more than 33.33% of the rent + bills if there are 3 adults in the house
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
my parents both work! dad is full time and mom is part time, about 25 hours a week. they also get benefits because both my siblings are under 18. i absolutely don’t mind helping out but i think i’m being overcharged
Racing_Fox@reddit
I always paid rent, though it was only about 250.
Shannoonuns@reddit
Thats a lot considering how much they're paying rent, how much you're earning and how much that covers.
Depending where you live you could probably pay less to rent a room in somebody else house.
I do think paying house keep is a good thing but whats the point if the kid can't save enough tp be independent eventually.
Groxy_@reddit
You're paying more than half their rent for a box room? Yeah that's ridiculous. Max £250 for this situation then you're paying no more than a 3rd.
Impressionsoflakes@reddit
Around £50 per hour seems sensible to me
Asher-D@reddit
The rent your parents pay is £700 and the rent you pay your parents is £500? At that point that's not helping that's giving away your money to help them, nothing wrong with that, if you want more of your own money, it'll be fair to pay like a quarter of the rent since it's a 4 bed and you only have one bedroom.
Icy-Warning384@reddit
I'm a parent of a 19 year old, I charge nothing but expect them to save into their own emergency/travel fund, investment pot and pension each month instead, all auto set up from their account into their other streams.
B0-Katan@reddit
When I was a F/T student and lived at home, I was asked to pay 1/3 of the rent
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
yeah we live in a council house as well
mr_P0Opy_Butth0le@reddit
You should have said that in the main post. That changes a lot btw.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
edited it to add it
mr_P0Opy_Butth0le@reddit
Yeah it's a bit crazy that they are profiting of their child in a council house. My mum charged me 200 and she ended up putting all the money I gave her for a deposit for my house when I got round to buying.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i don’t mind if they actually use my money to pay the bills but i feel like £500 is just a bit much
B0-Katan@reddit
Then you're paying far too much, especially if you're buying your own food. Have they told you how much council rent is? I think my dads is £600pm for a 3 bedroom house
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
it’s £700 for a 4 bedroom
B0-Katan@reddit
"That's when you don't pay for the old folk home" - my husband 😂😭 sorry
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
loolll
Tacklestiffener@reddit
How much is the whole rent?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
£700 for a 4 bedroom. my 2 siblings are still in school and don’t work
Mammoth-Turnip-3058@reddit
You could get a room in a shared house for less than that. I paid £375 for my room. My rented 2 bed house was £650!
Seems a bit steep. Although I suppose it depends on where you live and rates around there. And what situation you live in. Like do your parents struggle? I can see why you paying rent may have to be an option then. And I totally get parents trying to teach their kids the value of money and rent etc but personally, unless I absolutely HAD to I wouldn't charge my kids. It's hard enough these days to get a step on the property ladder, save for anything nevermind a deposit and pay bills, save and pay for cars etc.
liebackandthinkofeng@reddit
I don’t think it’s wrong for you to pay a little to contribute to what you use but £500 seems like a lot, particularly if you’re still paying for your own food. When I lived at home with my parents, I paid half that. For £500, you could get a room in a house share or it would pay a part of rental for a 1 bed flat (area dependent obviously)
Plannet_Depressed@reddit
For a little more you can get a flat to yourself
600 rent Like 200 council tax 100 water electric gas And then food
NotAndyBurnham@reddit
I’m generally of the opinion that kids should start paying rent once they earn but £500 is a huge amount, never mind that you pay for groceries as well.
I’m not really sure how to word it but £500 and especially for a box room is beyond obscene.
PKblaze@reddit
If you're working and living at home, putting towards rent or stuff you use is perfectly reasonable. 500 might be a bit excessive but if you're happy to do so then whatever
chucky6661@reddit
This is cap, you pay £500 out of the £700 rent and be like “ is this normal?”
AlternativePrior9559@reddit
I charge my son rent. Little does he know I’m stashing it into an account to help him with a mortgage when the time comes. Nothing huge. But every little helps.
Next_Back_9472@reddit
That’s the decent thing to do,I shall be doing it the same as well for my daughter!
AlternativePrior9559@reddit
Lord knows they need every bit of help they can get these days with property prices.
Southern-Orchid-1786@reddit
They're taking £6k a year from you that could be saved for a deposit for a house, or to furnish a rented flat.
By all means contribute to some costs if parents don't have funds, but when you move out are they going to rent that room out?
Ancient_Bit_4542@reddit
I got charged £300 and my girlfriend who lived me also got charged £300. My parents were poor on benefits so they needed the money.
TheRealPyroManiac@reddit
I’ve always thought a young adult who’s working & living at home should absolutely be paying for food, utilities etc but rent is a bit much. Maybe is you’re in your late twenties but £500 is a bit strong imo
lunaj1999@reddit
£500 is a lot. I pay less for my half of the mortgage and bills and I earn more than you. I think anything up to £350/£400 is reasonable.
No_Ring_3348@reddit
Asking you to cover your fair share of the bills when you're an earning adult is totally fair, however I don't think this is what your parents are doing here. By charging you around the same as a house share (unless you're in SE England perhaps?) they are 'gently' encouraging you to move out.
TheZiggyStarr@reddit
For 21 it's mental what they're charging you, kind of sickening really. Considering that you look after yourself and pay your own way if say anything more than £300, and that's at the high end, is gratuitous for your circumstances.
I'm sorry you're being treated as a secondary source of income instead of their child, at this point you may aswell get yourself on the council list and find your own place as all in it won't be much more expensive, and certainly larger and more freeing than a box room.
conustextile@reddit
I pay about £400/month to my parents as I live with them on maternity pay, which eats it up...
Ok_Phrase7381@reddit
From the age that my son gets his first job I will charge him a small amount a month. I won’t spend that money but rather put it into savings and then give it him when he decides he wants to move out
balk_man@reddit
Depending on where you live, you're paying more than the average rent for a council house
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
we live in a council estate! our 4 bedroom is £700 a month
balk_man@reddit
Wait so you're paying more than half their rent? That's just insane. They're literally profiting off you
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
yuppp basically why i made this post, i don’t think it’s fair
Upstairs-Truck-8606@reddit
tell em to piss off and rent a room somewhere or move in with your pals
lofrench@reddit
I’m with you. My brother stayed home longer than me and while he was in school my mom didn’t make him pay rent but once he got a job and was working full time she charged time around £200 a month to rent. Another girl I work with is in uni but works quite a bit and her family charges her £500 a month to rent her room and a shared kitchen with I think 1 other tenant.
TomatoChomper7@reddit
£500 a month to stay at your parents’ house is pretty extortionate, I think. Especially when you’re buying your own groceries and giving them money on top. If you like it there, fair enough. But if I had £500 a month available for rent it wouldn’t be going to my parents.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
i don’t like it, they’re controlling and pretty strict. i’m trying to save to move out
TomatoChomper7@reddit
And they’re not making it easy for you with all these outgoings. Good luck! It’s definitely worth moving out.
adefor@reddit
As someone who works with young adults leaving the care system, many of the young people I support stay with their foster carers or extended families after they become adults. A common expectation is that they contribute something towards the household once they're working or receiving benefits. The amount varies from family to family, but a figure often used is around 15% of their income - personally £500 is a good amount to contribute, you'd be paying much more if you were living elsewhere and alone!!!
I wouldn't compare yourself too much to friends who pay nothing, I'd look at your situation differently - you're already developing skills that many people don't learn until they're suddenly living alone, and I've seen so many young adults move into their first place and feel overwhelmed by all sorts of bills and managing money because they've never had to think about these things before. Ultimately, you are a capable working adult who is contributing to the household, and you are being setup for success by learning these things.
Emergency_Stick3963@reddit
I had to start paying £400 in rent when I got my first job at 17. I was working 12 hours alongside going to college.
chocaholic201@reddit
My now husband and I moved out together because MIL was going to charge him £400 of the £800 he made a month, including his student loan money. That was about 18 years ago.
JonathnJms2829@reddit
I live with my dad and we split the utilities, then buy our own food. £500 a month is crazy your parents are sabotaging you buy changing you so much.
FuzzyPalpitation-16@reddit
like many have said it’s down to different family cultures and situations. i’m half asian (my parents live abroad in se asia, so does my brother) and it’s really not a thing there to charge children rent for living with them as the culture revolves around filial piety and it’s not weird to have multigenerational family homes. my brother when he got married actually stayed with them for a couple of years (the home is huge) and whilst they never paid rent, they would always reciprocate by buying groceries, cooking, just helping out in general. again, no pressure whatsoever from our parents.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
lol i’m full asian. my parents are both immigrants and otherwise very traditional. we don’t ask kids for rent in our culture either but my parents still do🤣 they just tell me not to tell anyone else i’m paying rent
FuzzyPalpitation-16@reddit
damnnnnnn 😭 you got the rarity on that end.
Mountain-Size-12@reddit
20% of net income, capped at £500.
It's not really rent, it's a contribution towards their food and a share of utilities.
I'm not out to profit from my kids, but at the same time I can't afford to feed fully grown employed adults. For them, 20% of their net income is way lower than rent, bills and food would cost if they left home.
pennylives33@reddit
Same here. I don't charge my children 'rent' but I do ask them to contribute their share towards bills, food, shared toiletries and house products, along with pet care. I also expect them to help a bit around the house because they live there too. I cook most of the dinners, do all the food shops, laundry, a good bit of cleaning and manage the house. I have always done this.
I do not ask for a contribution until they are out of education and working.
They still are able to save a lot of money. They are learning what it is to be an adult and how to be part of a household as an adult. Even if I didn't need their help with bills, I would still expect them to contribute because they are responsible adults and part of the family. They are no longer children.
It boggles my mind that so nany comments state that no parent should ask their child to contribute to a household. This attitude is selfish and entitled.
Glittering_Vast938@reddit
My daughter used to pay £200 including all food, washing and bills. She was on about £1500 I think a month.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
that’s half of what i pay and i don’t get my washing done for me or food cooked for me
Ninjataye@reddit
Your parents are taking the piss and just making money out of you atm. Seeing as you buy your own food and do your own laundry etc you can't be costing them more than £200 a month to be there so seems they're just viewing you as a tenant instead of their child. Sad
cosmicray74@reddit
Very similar here. We take £250 a month from our 20 year old son who is on similar take home pay. That's basically a contribution to food, we don't ask for anything else on top. I do all his laundry, cook all his meals and do all the cleaning including his room. He doesn't do any chores. As well as his cooked meals at home he likes to takes a ready meal to work every day and has expensive breakfasts, lots of eggs, seeds, yogurts, cereals etc, so his £250 is very much a token contribution, it doesn't cover his costs.
Witty_Entry9120@reddit
You're in your 20s... calling yourself a child....I see what's going on here.
SafeLifeguard5785@reddit
she made daughter you get the idea
Witty_Entry9120@reddit
It's a known thing that people are growing up much later.
When I was 22 you wouldn't catch me calling myself a child by mistake.
My parents, they were grown and married and had jobs and probably been on a fucking war by the time they were 19.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit (OP)
it was a error it’s not that serious
Commercial-Bat-4534@reddit
Hi5 vegan whos been buying their own groceries since they were 16.
I pay £250 bills but its because my mum earns carers allowance and if she kicked me out, which she is welcome to do, she would lose the remaining £250 or so she gets paid to look after me
So yeah I think £500 is fair. But you can look around at hmo costs and what they charge in your area. Mine is around £600-700 so a mates rate from your family being £500 is okay.
Consider beggars can't be choosers and don't bite the hand that (doesn't) feed you. You don't want to argue with your parents and get thrown out and have to pay more to live with random strangers which is AWFUL by the way
BecozisaidSo40times@reddit
That seems a lot. My young adult kids did pay 150 a month rent until they moved out to teach them that they had responsibilities. But we saved it up for them and gave it back to them when they moved out. They had a nice little nest egg to furnish their first place. They gave us a hard time at the time but were really grateful. My 30 year old recently broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years, she moved back for 18 months but we didn’t charge her a penny even though all our bills increased by a third. We wanted her to save up to buy her own place. Currently I at the ripe old age of over 50 am currently in my dad’s spare room as we sold our house and our follow on is still in WiP so will be here 6 months. My dad wouldn’t dream of charging us rent. We pay for our own food and we are waiting on him hand and foot though so he’s loving it 🤣
MaleficentSwan0223@reddit
I would say that’s too much when your buying and making your own food and helping around the house.
I paid £50 a month 15 years ago between the ages of 14 and 19 (before I moved out) and paid for all my food and travel too but even that now comes nowhere near £500. Obviously I can’t compare to your age as I was a bit younger (likely why I got charged less) but I’d have been fuming if I’d been charged the equivalent before I moved out.
Umasan64@reddit
£500 is far too much in my opinion, unfortunately there is never going to be a set answer to what an adult living with parents should/could pay depending on their earnings, living costs etc.
When I lived at home my mum didn't want any rent, but my dad insisted I did, I paid about £200 a month if I remember correctly (was almost 20 years ago).
As a dad now I'd never expect my daughter to pay a penny, I want her to be able to save as much as she can and whenever she decides the time is right to move out she will have the means to do so.
bluelightblock@reddit
Agree with you here. My mum and step dad were hungry for rent from us when we started working from age 16. Me and my sibling basically almost covered the rent with what we gave over. £200 each. Moved out at 23 with my partner and they never once paid rent to their parents. I don't believe parents should take a penny off their sons or daughters. Or if they do, atleast put it into a savings account for them.
Upstairs-Truck-8606@reddit
none unless your parents are dicks imo. I’ll never charge my kids rent and if I did it would be to save the entirety of it to give back to them
ShinyArtist@reddit
£500 is a lot to pay your parents. I understand contributing to groceries and utilities, having an extra adult to feed and provide for can be a lot, but you’re even having to pay for your own groceries. I hope you’re saving every penny to get out of there asap.
I bet they will have the audacity to keep asking for money when you leave.
mad_saffer@reddit
My daughter got her first part time job. She's earning about £700 a month at minimum wage, so it's far from a lot. She pays us £70 for her "rent" which covers her special requests for groceries and contributes towards the utilities. She will soon take over her own mobile SIM card and we have strongly suggested that she start putting money into a savings account and a pension pot. It's reasonable for what she earns and what she doesn't know is that we are putting that £70 into a savings account for her so that when she wants to move out some day, she will have a little bit of money
MovieGuy919191@reddit
You'd be paying this alongside bills if you were renting a room somewhere else but living at home AND buying your own food... It doesn't give you much room to save for yourself or for your future.
...I'd say it's quite a lot to be paying family, honestly.
Wonderkid_1992@reddit
I used to help my nan out (who raised me and I lived with) but it wasn’t an expectation. It was an I can see your struggling especially in the weird period between the child benefit for me ending and her getting state pension. But when I didn’t work or something came up then my nan helped me out in return. But my nan has always said if she was comfortable she wouldn’t even contemplate taking a penny from me.
I have many friends whose parents are comfortable and don’t need the money who don’t charge them and I don’t think I’d charge my kid either!
broken-runner-26@reddit
At 15yo and first full time job i paid 75% of my weekly earnings for food and boarding at home.
spankybianky@reddit
It depends on your family circumstances.
If your parents are struggling to make ends meet and you want to help out, then it’s fine (I paid my mum £200/month at your age, and that was back in the late 90s).
However, I am in a more comfortable position now and I wouldn’t charge my children rent and keep it. What I might do is tell them they need to pay rent, but then keep it aside for them for a deposit when they’re ready to move out, as they can be super frivolous with money and I think it’s good to learn to be responsible. Whether or not I’m going to tell them I’m keeping it for them is yet to be decided - my two are still teens, and we’ve not got to that stage yet.
Tacklestiffener@reddit
I knew a family with 3 adult children paying nothing and two younger ones at school. The parents were struggling and all the kids knew it but one son started asking for a whole roast chicken a day for the "gym gains".
I think they all needed a slap.
neo101b@reddit
What my dad would do is take the rent money, save it and give it me back when I left.
If they needed the money of course I would give them a fair rent to pay the bills.
CrowApprehensive204@reddit
I think that is too much personally but I don't know your parents circumstances. I'm all for kids contributing and learning to budget but £500/month would probably get you a bigger room in a shared house
ducksoupmilliband@reddit
I took £200 pc from my kid when they came back for a year after university. I saved it and gave it to them when they moved out as a gift to help them settle in to their new home.
I get that not everyone can afford it but I certainly didn't see him as a source of income.
DependentMind6101@reddit
I don't agree with the idea that a working adult living at home shouldn't contribute anything but that does sound like it's on the high side. You're more like a lodger than their son
nerdztech@reddit
You should pay something towards the rent if you live there and are earning money, it's ethically the right thing to do and only fair. You might consider £500 a bit much well have that conversation with your parents, personally I would consider it a bit excessive since you pay for your own food as well and also give them money when they need it. However getting your own place, where you have to pay full rent, food, bills etc... might end up costing you more. The other good thing is if they ever wanted to kick you out they would have a harder time doing so because you pay towards the rent (just something to be aware of).
Ornery_Effective_366@reddit
My 21 year old gives me 300 a month but that includes food all bills including and i also still do his washing and he just keeps his own space clean. It works for him as a shared house room including bills in our area would be around 400 a month and he would have to pay for food. He manages to save a bit every month to put towards a deposit to buy his own place.
Ornery_Effective_366@reddit
Including sim for his phone that was meant to say
mantequilla69420@reddit
It depends where you are in the country, it £500 to live in a place with people you know is not too much.
However, it's getting close to market rate for a house share (non London), so they might be hinting for you to get the fuck out
TheNinjaPixie@reddit
Unless its a matter of not being able to cover the bills, making a profit off of your kids sucks. How can they save for a deposit if they are paying market rates, surely you want your kids to thrive?
Heavy-Mud-8307@reddit
My parents charge my adult siblings, who still live at home, £150 each. They buy their own food mostly too. Similar set up to you but much cheaper. They want to encourage them to save for the future. Though I think my mum still does their laundary and most the cooking.
cbrownmufc@reddit
When I was your age, I paid £200 a month while my take home pay was about £1,100 a month. I felt that was quite reasonable at the time, but we are going back a few years so maybe £500 isn’t too much these days, considering how much the cost of living has gone up in the last 18 years
Wonderkid_1992@reddit
Depends, when I first started working many moons ago I used to give my nan (who I lived with born and raised) money not a super amount but she was also like broke (not due to stupid spending but she worked so hard and there was a weird period between child benefit stopping and her state pension starting). When I lost that job she then helped me out and didn’t expect me to pay anything and it’s been back and forth since, we help each other out when needed :) some months I got the electricity bill, sometimes it’s me popping to the shops to pick up the food, sometimes
She always made it very clear if she didn’t have to worry about money she wouldn’t want a penny for me.
I have many friends now whose parents wouldn’t even think about charging them because it’s hard out there and they don’t need to take money off their child.
TheNoGnome@reddit
A small amount, if you really do need the money.
They are family after all.
AlarmedAlarm626@reddit
Look at it this way £500 is your rent paid and all bills included if you were to get your own place it would probably cost £1500 or more depending on where you live.
Sword-of-Fuheis@reddit
Nothing. Or if it is charged by parents it should ring-fenced into a saving fund towards the child’s first home. I can imagine edge-cases where child is on a large grad salary and parents are on much worse terms, where yes a kid frivolously spending while living at home with poor parents would be selfish. But overall, I think it’s remarkably selfish how older generations in this country horde wealth in empty houses that only get passed on once descendants are close to retirement themselves and well-established, of course after inheritance tax and means tested social care charges take out their chunk too.
The_HowlingDark@reddit
I feel this pain, my incredibly wealthy parents, charged me for rent and no one else in my friend group had this experience. It was cheaper to move out, so I did, which might’ve been the plan lol.
Electronblue69@reddit
My friend is in his early 30s and pays £50 a week, his mum cooks for the family though and he will eat with them probably 3 evenings a week - it's a small / cheap house and £50 is a very reasonable ask I think - depends on your earnings and how well off / hard up your family is as well doesn't it? 500 a month seems high to me they are probably ripping you off.
Standard-Standard214@reddit
£50 a week for a man in his 30s is crazy low IMO. He should probably contribute more unless they're very financially comfortable. £200 doesn't go very far at all.
Electronblue69@reddit
Well his brother and mum are both on disability benefits (his mum can't walk anymore and his brother has a lot of mental health issues) the dad has just retired so it's a fairly low income house overall - I think he does contribute in other ways and will pay for meals / takeaways / get them all a few pints at the pub stuff like that - so yes I see what you're saying but I guess there just isn't much money to go round with any of the family so it probably works. Obviously if they were living in London and my friend had a well paid job £50 a week would seem like nothing but.
sneddsdead@reddit
I used to give my mum £100 a week 10yrs ago, I offered more but she was happy with that. I also gave her lifts and took her shopping on Sundays 😂 I was 40 after the landlord sold the flat I was renting the best 6 months ever. I didn't want to leave, washing done and decent teas every night, heaven.
Ancient-Ad9861@reddit
It all depends on how much you earn and how well off your parents are. If your parents aren’t financially well off its absurd to expect them to pay for your livelyhood when your an adult. If they’re well off and want to give you that headstart in your adult life by not charging rent then happy days. At the end of the day once your a working grown up why should anyone expect their parents to fund their lifestyle anymore?
MelodicSeaweed-@reddit
Put it this way; would you be able to get a place of your own, even a room share, for £500 a month? You’d still have to buy your own food, clean up after yourself, etc. Do I think £500 myself is steep? Yes, to a degree. I’d far rather my child paid £30-40 a week contribution, helped towards household chores & evening meals, but promised to save money towards a place of their own (doesn’t matter if they’re renting, you still need a down payment, money for furniture, white goods etc etc) - however, I also think it’s obscene your friends pay nothing lol. I was in this predicament where I had friends who paid nothing & k was paying rent. They were.. spoilt, shall we say, & my parents were hard working class people, we didn’t have a lot of money, so we all put into the same pot to pay bills, I didn’t contribute as much as you but it was something for my bed & board. Why don’t you ask for a breakdown of your bills on paper? Don’t confront them in an argumentative manner, just say if you’re paying you’d like an itemised list of what you’re paying for, &, if you are thinking of moving out, ask if it could be reduced so you could save money for your own place. It’s not a bad conversation to have x
TrustVisual1394@reddit
You rent get a 3 bed house of your own for just a few hundred more in many parts of the UK, so yes, its too much. You should move out.
Witty_Entry9120@reddit
Psssst....I think that's the point
Nemesis2K@reddit
Stop comparing your situation to others, its unhealthy. As a grown adult you should be able to decide for yourself what's acceptable or not for you.
Helpful_Ocelot_5076@reddit
It’s still cheaper than living elsewhere. Also congrats on earning £1900 AFTER tax. But I always think, I’d rather line my parents’ pockets than some random landlord. Good for you for staying at home and saving up instead of wasting your time renting! I am also an adult living at home but I dont pay rent AT THE MINUTE. I used to when I earned a steady income. Then I was doing the odd jobs here and there. Now I’m back to earning a steady income again so I can start to save and pay rent again. But before, I did pay less than £500 but that’s because it was all I could afford. I think it depends on how much you earn, to be honest.
PaulaDeen21@reddit
I didn’t pay anything, my parent’s view was that they brought me into this world, how are they going to ask me to pay when I’m still at home.
Lonely-Job484@reddit
Token 'rent' that doesn't exceed the genuine additional cost of being there is, to me, fine and a good introduction to adult thinking about rent, bills, etc. Assuming some actual income (as you do have) . £500 sounds a bit high tbh if that isn't including food and so on.
Apprehensive_Oil_808@reddit
If the parents own their own home and are comfortable, any rent they charge they should just put aside and save for their kids. But for people like myself who will be forever renting and can barely afford rent, unfortunately my kids will have to help towards it when older.
Physical-Exit-2899@reddit
I dont think its uncommon to pay rent, most people I know would just pay like £200 for rent and then a bit more on top for bills and food. Depends on the family circumstances though, some parents needed the money and others would just see it as a learning experience for the kid and put the rent money aside until they were moving out and gift it back.
KimonoCathy@reddit
Sounds about right, my parents also charged me 25% of my take home pay towards rent and keep.
Kind_Ad5566@reddit
My kids paid 10% of their take home straight to their mum who does all their washing and provides all their meals.
We don't check their pay packets, just trust that what they pay is 10%.
I have friends who don't agree and that's their choice.
No_Cartoonist981@reddit
When I was 18 and out of full time education I paid my mother the same amount she lost in benefits/council tax reduction (something like that, it’s been over 20 years) so £50 a week, making it cost neutral to her. But I was already covering most of my food, clothes, entertainment etc by this point
Odd_Two_5554@reddit
IDKBear25@reddit
My parents say they would never make me "pay rent" to them as in money paid to live in the house with them.
But I know as soon as I start earning money, they will want me to start "paying rent" to them.
Fucking cocksuckers. They never loved me.
Few_Regret9608@reddit
What is your family cultural background , this can affect it a lot. Second factor is your family financial situation obviously.
IhaveaDoberman@reddit
Every family is different. That's pretty much the beginning and end of the discussion.
In your particular case, I wouldn't go letting your friends get in your head. If your take home is £1900, you can very easily afford £500, food and fun and still save a good amount every month.
You can get bogged down in the whole "it's not fair" mentality, because your friends who don't appreciate what a privileged position they are in say so. Or you can accept it and get one with your life. Because the alternative could very well be move out, pay a significant amount more and have less.
We don't know your parents, only you know how the conversation would go.
I do, I have friends who do, friends who don't. Friends who have to, because the household wouldn't eat properly if they didn't. Friends who don't, and are a drain on already financially struggling parents. Friends who have to argue to contribute. Friends who have to pay what they can barely afford.
dismaldunc@reddit
I paid my folks 25% of my take home pay, When I moved out, they gave it me all back... they didn't want my money, they wanted me to to learn that being a mooch is not acceptable.
mrfatchance@reddit
I’m sorry your parents don’t have the foresight they need right now
WBB3-World@reddit
My parents never asked, but I gave them a quarter of my wage, which was around £250 a month back then. They were able to afford their first foreign holiday with that money, so I’m happy I did it, I know I would have wasted that money if I had it to myself.
iBlockMods-bot@reddit
I know a few people who paid rent in their youth to their parents. It's not common but its normal.
£500 seems high though mate. Consider your other options I'd say.
BryOnRye@reddit
I paid £50 for every £200 I earned when I started working so not too different from what you’re paying, and didn’t begrudge it as I felt it was fair paying them back.
Inevitable_Bid8719@reddit
Its fairly normal, Id say that paying that much seems a little high considering its your parents. Id suggest getting out if you can do it easily, you would probably get similar value for money and more freedom.. though that does depend on your area and parents relaxedness. If your friends pay nothing in their early 20s most of my friends at that age would have been jealous
Canipaywithclaps@reddit
‘Similar value for money’… that entirely depends on where OP lives.
A box room in a house share, plus bills, can easily cost 1.2k+ in the south east
GrapefruitKing2000@reddit
Nothing, don’t be your child’s first thief
peterkayscarshare@reddit
23, earn 1900 i pay 900 cos my mum doesnt work to help dad with food shop, bills etc as long as im here. easy to budget a grand.
Inn3rWarri0r_70@reddit
When I lived at home my parents took a third of whatever I earned
earthandanarchy@reddit
I have 3 months left of getting child benefit and UC for my eldest Son and there is no way I could afford to not take money from him, that being said I wouldn't feel ok about taking more than £300 a month unless/until he is earning a decent enough wage. I've said he will be able to help himself to stuff we have in the house but he's got to buy his own toiletries (he's very particular about the products he uses and they are pricey) he should also buy the odd box of teabags (other than making my dad a cup once a week he's the only one drinking tea), a dinner or two for himself every week and I also explained that this is his home and I don't want to be asking him to do chores but he should start taking it upon himself to help out when he sees things needing to be done here and there.
If I could afford to not take money from him, I'd charge him a small amount like £100-£200 a month because I think that's the decent thing to do.
Wolf-Dagger@reddit
Stop whining you’ve got nearly 1500 quid a month disposable. Go find sympathy somewhere else, like with your entitled mates.
Bose82@reddit
It depends on what they're doing with that money. Personally, if my child was old enough to pay rent I'd put it in a savings account to give back to them for a house deposit when they choose to leave. If they're just pissing it up the wall then, yeah, that's way too much.
Shadowmantha69@reddit
That seems excessive , you could probably rent a room in a house share for that
ParticularNo9591@reddit
I paid £350 to my mum and helped with shopping. She didn’t want me to but I insisted.
PlasticEducation238@reddit
I don’t know anyone that paid rent to their parents even in their 20’s. £500 isn’t terrible and I’d give my parents money to help even if they didn’t ask back when I lived with them. I was able to get a mortgage in my 20’s thanks to being able to save.
f8rter@reddit
25% of their income
okbuddystaymad@reddit
Depends entirely on parents finances. If my parents were struggling, I’d be more than happy to give every penny I earn to help them. If they were millionaires, I’d tell them to jog on 😂
SupahflyxD@reddit
My flat is about £600 a month which is really cheap for London I’m lucky, but that is a lot to be paying to live with parents yes.
Intrepid_Eye_6128@reddit
I think its weird for parents to charge rent, but I also think its weird for adult kids with full time jobs not to want to pay either.
Bit of a stalemate opinion though haha.
lovemycat02@reddit
Depending on your area you’re probably better off in a house share which would provide you more independence and probably more space too
Pikmanpikman@reddit
When you said child I thought you meant you 😉🤣 Early 20s and living at home, maybe they are trying to encourage you to learn to pay your way? Hard to say without context TBH. £500 seems a lot less than you’d pay in real rent though, at least from my area it is.
I’d like to think we wouldn’t ask our kids for money but who knows what situation we’ll be in when they are that age 🤷♂️
blahblahblah1234_@reddit
Mmmm. My parents wouldn’t charge me anything but then again not everyone (including myself) are in the same position as they are. So I guess it depends on how financially set someone is.
Dangerous_Onion_3832@reddit
I used to pay £300 a month and when I fimally moved out I found they had been putting £100 aside for the 18m and gave it to me for the new place.
Really taught me about putting a little aside each month...until I had kids of my own 😄
ambergriswoldo@reddit
Some people pay rent to their parents, others don’t - it really depends on what the parents want to do as it’s their home, plus if they’re struggling with paying bills (or mortgage / rent themselves) then it helps if you’re contributing.
£500 does seem quite a bit, although depending on where you live in the UK you’ll likely be paying more if you had housemates instead (and may not get a nice place for that price either)
Demonthief27@reddit
500 a month is the cheapest rate for a room in a decent house, if you check out spareroom you’ll be able find some for a similar price and have your own freedom.
reginaldch@reddit
I kinda think it makes sense, its teaching young adults about responsibilities and budgeting. £500 out of £1900 isnt all that much tbf. I also dont think it matters how much housework you're doing as to me this is standard, you're an adult so of course you should be doing housework (i know you were complaining about the housework btw!)
When my kids are adults, i will probably ask for a small contribution but put it in a savings account for them.
DevilsAdvocate1662@reddit
I moved out at 23, and never paid rent but my parents were well off.
I had a friend who moved out at 25 and paid his parents rent but they weren't well off.
It totally depends on your parents financial situation, and how much food, electricity and water you use while you're living at home
cafffffffy@reddit
I used to pay rent when I lived with my parents (but only when I was working, they didn’t charge me rent when I was unemployed). My parents tended to charge me quite a bit less than what rent would cost me if I lived on my own in a flat, probably around similar to what you’re paying (depending on where you live in the country) - although I didn’t pay for my own groceries.
This was the case for most of my friends who were also working and living with their parents too. I didn’t move out til I was 28 but it was the right time for me :)
BrewtallyCozy@reddit
My first top was part time. I didn’t pay any towards bills. My second job and current job the bills are split between me, my mum, gran and step dad. My parents don’t have a mortgage so it’s slightly cheaper as I just cover bills. I also pay for my own weekly shop and any shared dinners are split
I don’t think £500 is loads as long as the bills are equally shared between everyone in the house.
strawberries83@reddit
thats insane
Used-Meaning-1468@reddit
I don't charge my son. My mum charged me 25 quid a week, but that was all bills and food included
Stunning-Profit8876@reddit
Entirely subjective. Some families need grown up kids to chip in, some don't.
I have no idea what your families circumstances are, but at minimum, you becoming an adult increased their council tax. If they receive benefits, you will now be subject to a "non-dependant deduction" and your income will reduce their benefits be 50p-ish per pound you earn.
So yeah, it seems steep, but it completely depends on the household.
Also - you could always move out.
PlaneWar203@reddit
Depends where you are. In some cities that's the going rate for a room in a shared house.
curiouslyopen333@reddit
I think it’s really key to have the context of what you’re earning. £500 pm on a low wage feels a bit harsh unless you’re earning good money. Then again you’d be more than doubling it elsewhere and have council tax, bills etc. I’m a parent of two teens (still at school). Things have changed so much since I was a kid when you couldn’t wait to get away and accommodation was more affordable. I think the principle of paying is good and appropriate. I’d like to think at 500, I’d be keeping half and secretly putting half in a high interest account as a surprise for when you finally move out!
GarlicEmergency7788@reddit
I don't know what your situation is and things have changed a lot since I was in something similar
My mother didn't charge me anything after uni and when I had a job but I helped out when she needed it. What I didn't know is she lost a ton of money through benefits once I was gainfully employed and still had the same bills if not more
I had more money than ever and my mum was on the bones of her arse because of it and I had no idea at the time
NobleRegal@reddit
If parents or relatives can afford to makedo without said rent, then it’s likely they have an issue with said person to be quite frank.
crazygrog89@reddit
Depends on the family and the financial situation. I’m from Greece originally so it’s very common for us to have 25-30yo adults living with parents and occasionally contributing to groceries but that’s it. Paying rent would be considered a joke.
Kyrptt@reddit
Peoples circumstances are different. If your parents need help with the bills and you're living there then paying something should be a given. £500 is a lot of money for your parents to be charging you though. You would think they would cut that in half and at least let you save the rest to help when you move out eventually.
Some parents obviously wouldnt charge there kids if they don't need the help.
someguyhaunter@reddit
For the 2 years after uni I was at my mums I payed 200 for rent for a decent sized room, which included food and bills. This helped me get a job, save up and move out quicker. My partner also moved in during the last 6 months so she could get a job closer to the house and rent did not go up.
500 is quite a bit for a box room at your parents in all honesty, to be honest, especially considering any extra you may give them, it may be pretty comparable to just find a place to rent, it will be more but you will have more space and freedom. Unless enjoy living at your parents, which is cool, half the rest of the world does it, which in that case you may just have to suck up the cost.
Odd_CivilServant@reddit
Children should not be paying as they undrrage.
spankybianky@reddit
They said they were in their 20s.
cafffffffy@reddit
This is a person in their twenties, they aren’t underage
mwhi1017@reddit
Yes, but OP is in their ‘early twenties’, taking home £1900 pcm.
So they’re an adult, living as a lodger with their parents.
OP - your parents want you to move out, or are struggling financially.
Inevitable_Bid8719@reddit
Thats not underage lol
Whithorsematt@reddit
Early 20s underage?
Due-Discussion-8196@reddit
Yeah that’s not a lot…I paid that much when I lived at home on an early teacher’s salary….you’re paying a heck of a lot less than you would if you moved out and got a place on your own 👀 remember that.
Also remember that the bills of house with multiple adults in (because that’s what you are) will be more than the bills of house with an actual child in…you’re using their gas, electric, water….they don’t get any council tax discount for you living at home….
4x6x8@reddit
"we are in our early twenties" - you're not a child OP, welcome to adulting. Perhaps it's time to fly the nest.
montyrattus@reddit
Depending where you live you may pay a little more for a room in a shared out but at least you are out from under your parents roof.
Flashy_Error_7989@reddit
It’s down to the family I guess but really I think we should be looking after each other- helping your kids if you can- if you’re going to take rent it should be about helping them learn to budget but also about putting it away for a deposit for them. We’ll get nowhere against the powerful by pulling each other down.
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