The drinking culture in this city makes getting sober feel isolating af
Posted by icepix@reddit | Dallas | View on Reddit | 261 comments
I swear every single social or corporate event in dfw revolves around patio margaritas or spending hours at katy trail ice house. it gets so exhausting when you finally realize you have a serious problem but your entire friend group treats weekend blackouts like a normal dallas personality trait
The hardest part of trying to get clean here is how ingrained alcohol is in the local "hustle" culture. you cant even go to a basic networking event without someone shoving a craft beer in your hand
tbh I had to physically remove myself from the immediate metroplex bubble for a bit just to survive it. I went down south to discovery point retreat for a residential stint simply because I knew if I stayed within 10 miles of 75 or downtown I would relapse out of pure habit. getting out of the city noise and just having a structured clinical environment down near the ennis area was the only way I could actually breathe and focus on recovery without running into my usual crowd
im back in the city now and doing okay, but just wondering if any other locals who have gone sober feel completely alienated by the dfw social scene? its like if you dont drink, people here literally dont know what to do with you on a weekend.
NJB9891@reddit
How is this different than any other city in America (or the world)?
KennyDROmega@reddit
“THeREs nUThinG ELse 2 dO N DaLLAs tHO”
TylerDurden2748@reddit
well what the fuck is there to do? if youre under 21 theres nothing to fucking do.
mrianah@reddit
Not sure why you are being downvoted, truly must be people had never left Texas
KennyDROmega@reddit
What do you think under 21 year olds are doing in NYC that they cannot do here?
dogepope@reddit
take the train, ride around, go indulge in the copious free shit like museums and public performances. skate parks in the city. way more to do for a teen in nyc and they can get around by themselves
KennyDROmega@reddit
While it could be better, we definitely have public transport here.
Also skate parks, public performances, and museums. DMA, The Perot, Dallas World Aquarium, Nasher, Arboretum, Sixth Floor Museum, Holocaust Museum, Klyde Warren Park, Butterfly Garden at Fair Park, light up park downtown, etc. You have to pay for a lot of them, but I'm sure that's the case in NYC as well.
I think it's ironic you're acting as if the people defending Dallas have never lived anywhere else when you're the one who sounds like you're completely unaware of what there is to do here.
dogepope@reddit
lot of falsehoods in your reply but i'll just start with most museums are free in nyc. at least do some research before posting a know-it-all reply like this. you definitely sound you've never lived in a walkable city
dogepope@reddit
this is exactly why
Amissa@reddit
I think they’re being downvoted for stating there’s nothing to do in Dallas if you’re under 21.
Amissa@reddit
laughs in rural Texas
TylerDurden2748@reddit
At least when i lived in the country side i could be outside.
Now in the suburbs i get the cops called on me for being outside
miataataim66@reddit
You definitely do not.
Riddles_@reddit
except it literally does happen. i live a couple of blocks away from a park that’s nestled in a wealthier suburb and whenever i go it’s a 50/50 for whether or not a cop shows up. can’t even go to some parts of the green belt, which is a state park without cops rolling up. i’ve even had some of these people in the burbs get in their big ass trucks, drive over to where i am, and start flashing their lights at me if they think i’ve been sitting in “their” parks for too long
Few_Assignment_7464@reddit
Judging by your username, you should start a fight club in Dallas (don't talk about it as well).
KennyDROmega@reddit
This comment with your username is pretty funny.
icepix@reddit (OP)
You're not wrong that drinking culture is everywhere. But DFW combines that with sprawl, zero public transit, and a weird pride in driving home drunk.
dogepope@reddit
there's also a fatalism that's unique to dallas.
"well i might as well have another drink, f*ck it"
"well i might as well drive home drunk, f*ck it"
"well i might just waste my whole life drinking, watching sports, and repeating fox news talking points..."
miataataim66@reddit
That's also every city that isn't a 15 minute city. It is everywhere because humans exist there, not just here.
icepix@reddit (OP)
Fair point, but the lack of public transit here makes the drunk driving part feel more dangerous. In other cities, you can stumble onto a train. Here, you're expected to drive yourself home. That extra risk changes the calculus for me.
dogepope@reddit
lots of cities are walkable, have way more safe public spaces, have mass transit, has a city government that way more actively supports the arts??
Guano_Banano@reddit
I live in a major coastal city. Drinking culture is not normal. Not to the level dallsites are at.
Murky-Raccoon-7244@reddit
This is totally true. What’s even worse is the city is completely car-centric. It’s totally normalized for people to go to after work happy hours, down 2-4 drinks and drive 45 minutes home. It’s truly insane.
RootinTootinHootin@reddit
I went to jail for a night recently and out of the 20ish people getting sentenced in the court room about 15-18 were there for drunk driving.
Pumpnethyl@reddit
Lawyer screwed ya?
RootinTootinHootin@reddit
Nah I was in a bad place making bad decisions
dallas_asc@reddit
Hope you are doing better my fellow human 💪🚀
CTthrowaway26@reddit
Re the drunk driving, My girlfriend and i are travel nurses, so we move around every 3 months
First thing we noticed here in dallas is how everyone's car is completely busted 😂😂 , ive never seen so many mismatched doors and unpainted bumpers in my life, and hellacious dents yalls cars look like the game Twisted Metal lmao
supbraAA@reddit
When my husband and I moved here it was the first thing we noticed too.
I’ve never experienced being tailgated like I am here ever in my life - and on 5 lane highways! Just go around?!! But yeah definitely explains why everyone is missing their bumper.
TheBungoStrays@reddit
Pls don't tell me you are someone who doesn't know the rules of the far left lane of the highway - "the passing lane." That is my absolute biggest pet peeve on highways here. Passing should always happen on the left side bc the blind spots are smaller on every car.
CoastieKid@reddit
I love Twisted Metal thanks for unlocking that childhood memory 😂
TheBungoStrays@reddit
Have you watched any of the new show? The second season is out but we need to renew our Peacock sub to watch. First season was rly good.
Educational_Egg6927@reddit
Literally bought a used car dented because the price was great and I figured someone else would dent my new car anyway. Now that it’s dented I feel less worried if someone scratches or dents it😂
IranianLawyer@reddit
Naw we just suck at driving, drunk or sober.
Frosty_Occasion2654@reddit
That’s not even exclusive to drunk driving. Plenty of people can’t drive in this city 100% sober. But those who cause chaos in traffic ALWAYS have dents. You can bet on it
CTthrowaway26@reddit
But the difference between our home in the northeast and here was so stark i was like man theres gotta be something to this, so yeah texas has the highest rate of drunk driving in America
dmavsfan2020@reddit
Sources!?!
CTthrowaway26@reddit
Look around
berryer@reddit
could also be willingness to spend the money to fix it - I definitely pocket the money instead of spending that 1.5k to replace the bumper again lol
CTthrowaway26@reddit
The ….fourth time?? Lol yall texas drivers are something else 😂😂 i never saw people still accelerating until 10 feet before a traffic light like i do here , reckless driving is like yalls sport haha
berryer@reddit
not every time I've been rear-ended was in Texas lol, big cities are just like that
CTthrowaway26@reddit
Nah ive driven in big cities, nyc, mexico city ..here people got a death wish
Grannypanie@reddit
Dallas drivers are maniacs…….even when sober.
enteringthevoids@reddit
HARD AGREE. Every time I visit family in Dallas from out of state, I notice it too and I'm just like... god dang...
DrunkOnUjessy23@reddit
the dui culture in dallas is honestly unhinged. everyone acts like it is just part of the commute because the public transit is nonexistent. you bring up not drinking and people look at you like you just suggested we all start walking to work. it is a weird mix of entitlement and total disregard for anyone else on the road.
shesaysImdone@reddit
I've basically relegated myself to being a hermit because I live away from the city proper in the suburbs and absolutely despise driving
Few_Assignment_7464@reddit
I feel the same way - I can't wait to get out of Uptown and move to Frisco.
shesaysImdone@reddit
What's in Frisco?
Few_Assignment_7464@reddit
I like the area a lot better than Uptown/Dallas. I'd like to live near The Star; Legacy West is also close by.
whendoesOpTicplay@reddit
You should basically assume every driver is impaired/intoxicated between the hours of 4pm-8pm
TheRamblerJohnson@reddit
Drunk, stoned, stupid, or medicated.
supbraAA@reddit
Assume “stupid” includes scrolling TikTok while driving
Flashy-Staff-7924@reddit
Only way to survive in this city
EmotionalSupportDoll@reddit
E. All of the above
Emergency_Basket_851@reddit
8pm? I'd say more like 4 am
sooner_25@reddit
If you party hard, you can be drunk until the early afternoon
Sexweed42069@reddit
It definitely does not stop at 8pm
If you're in a five mile radius of stripclubland, I'm willing to bet a double-digit perentage of drivers on the road are drunk after 8.
icepix@reddit (OP)
The car dependency makes it so much worse. You're expected to drive yourself to a bar, drink for hours, then get behind the wheel like it's nothing. No one even questions it. That normalization is terrifying once you step back and actually see it.
sooner_25@reddit
Oh it’s bad bad. All my friends drink and drive all the time. I’ve done stupid shit while drunk but it never crossed my mind to drive a vehicle while intoxicated.
If you drink and drive you have just as much of a problem as someone who gets in bar fights on the regular.
NeoSapien65@reddit
My favorite story to describe Dallas'' drunk driving culture doesn't even happen in Dallas. When I moved back home, i found a local bar to drink at, and developed a habit of having either a shot or a half-beer delivered with my check. Frequently, I would drink it standing at the bar before walking out. Seemed perfectly normal to me and the bartender. My wife watched this happen one night and immediately said "WTF?!?!" She called the other bartender over who was like "dude, I love you, and you're the manager, but that's insane."
Bartender grew up in DFW. "One for the road" seemed perfectly reasonable, to us.
dallas_asc@reddit
Make new friends…… find new groups.. little steep of a take to claim this is the entire culture… alcohol consumption is WAY down than it was even 10 years ago.
_wokeupdead_@reddit
Yea it's really isolating and it's insane how people pressure you to drink. I'm not an alcoholic but I rarely drink and I can't believe how upset people get when I refuse a drink. If I say I'm the designated driver they still pressure me. People are driving all over the metroplex drunk and it's completely normal.
sooner_25@reddit
Someone I know who doesn’t drink has said this to people who really pressure them:
“Fine I’ll drink. But don’t be mad when one of us wakes up in the hospital, the other in jail, and I’ll probably have fucked your wife sometime in between”
In all seriousness, it’s true. Can feel like the default “thing” to do
_wokeupdead_@reddit
Oh I have no problem telling people no. It's just crazy how people won't stop.
x97sfinest@reddit
Have you tried attending a recovery fellowship? Almost all of the friends I hang out with outside of work are sober and I never feel this way.
Grouchy-Beginning993@reddit
I'm sorry to hear that. I wonder if maybe it's not the city and it's just the culture of the cohort you're in? I've lived in Dallas for 10 or so years and while I do have a proclivity to alcohol, I don't work in a hustle culture. So happy hours and business card swapping events aren't a thing for me. Have you looked into any sober meetup groups? They are bound to exist in a city this size. What do you do after work? I go to the gym. The less time I spend at home, the less I'm likely to drink. And I don't really ever go to bars because I don't really have anyone to go with anyway. What other hobbies do you have? You may be able to find a group into the same stuff as you where drinking isn't a barrier to entry.
Bonzoid_evermore77@reddit
I was in the music business for 15 years here-in 2007 I decided to quit drinking, I’d outgrown the binge culture anyway. It wasn’t easy. What you describe was what I faced-always being served or being coaxed to “relax”. Took a few months before I could relax around those bozos and remain sober- O’Doul’s helped, soda & lime in a drink glass, even a light Presbyterian (shot of wine in soda with lemon) made the difference for THEM which helped me stay sober. It was never so much about the booze for me, it was about the hangovers, that get worse as you get older. Oh and as you’ll find, those people who couldn’t be “on” without it and THEIR need for validation which is what their coercion is all about. There’s an adjustment period, is all I’m saying. You’ll lose the true alcoholics first but that’s on them. Others - the people you’ll want in your network, will come around. This is a test for THEM, too.
aMerePeppercorn@reddit
I live about 35-40 min from Dallas. Neither my bf nor I drink (it’s been ~7 months for me) and we are boring lol. We go out to eat far less, go to the gym and hang at home on the weekends. I go to the dog park, gym, work (from home), organize/decorate (we moved here few months ago), shop aaaaand that’s my life. lol
CoffeWithoutCream@reddit
Rock climbing gyms my friend
Personal_Might2405@reddit
Never to been to Chicago huh?
bballjones9241@reddit
Dude would absolutely die in Chicago
sif7777@reddit
I mean....any real big city. What do people think happens in NYC?
BitGladius@reddit
People take public transit to magical "third places" that couldn't possibly exist in Dallas.
Except a lot of those third places are bars.
sooner_25@reddit
The party/drinking culture is much much different in cities like NYC. In Dallas, you get your reservation somewhere and maybe Waymo between uptown and Lower Greenville, it’s more planned out in advance. And very polished. Had a friend of mine who grew up in NYC come visit me, and he said the nightlife culture there is very different. It is much less get drunk at a fancy cocktail lounge or similar. More spontaneous and “let’s see where the night goes…” energy. You’ll meet all kinds of people of all ages too, whenever I’ve gone out to popular places like Lower Greenville, I feel like I’m back in college in my fraternity.
After going out in other cities, especially the NE, it is very different. Hard to compare it as similar. Dallas is great for having a steady group to go out with.
dogepope@reddit
very polished?? we are living in two different cities
sooner_25@reddit
I’m 23 and I look around and see everyone around my age dressed to the 9s going out and ordering $20+ cocktails at the same handful of places every Friday and Saturday night. Might be because I’m in the yuppie complex around Uptown/Knox/Henderson/Lower Greenville. It is a very interesting vibe.
dogepope@reddit
that's interesting to hear. i grew up off of lower greenville and spent a lot of my 20's going to the bars there(2008-2016). they were cheap and fun. much different, more working class and artists crowd. alas, things change
sooner_25@reddit
It’s interesting hearing what it’s like from someone in that era, thanks for sharing that! I’ve read online that it used to be that way. Things have shifted a lot!
CoastieKid@reddit
Wisconsin is even worse. My sister lives up there. All those German-descended people consider you not drunk if “it was just driving down to my neighborhood bar” and they are fucked up 😂😭
xoxo_angelica@reddit
Hence why your first DUI is just a ticket out there. They know it simply wouldn’t be practical or even possible to arrest literally every one. Lol
mrezee@reddit
Everywhere in the Midwest. Lived in Michigan for 5 years and it seemed like every single social gathering, event, holiday, etc. was just an excuse to get as drunk as possible.
bananabob23@reddit
Never been anywhere, do they think small middle of nowhere towns are anything more than drunk redneck fuck fests?
CoastieKid@reddit
Gotta add in the opiates
FixElectrical4015@reddit
Definitely look into Austin. Yes 6th street and certain areas are party centric but there is a MASSIVE sober community here doing all sorts of different activities. I used to live and work in uptown dallas for 2 years I 100% agree. EVERYTHING revolves around alcohol it’s actually crazy.
Drinking is everyone’s weekend hobby in Dallas it almost goes without saying. If you want to stay in Texas I’d heavily consider Austin. I used to be a partyer and then weekend drinker nothing to crazy because of work. Since moving to Austin I just stopped drinking completely and just haven’t felt the need to drink even 52 days later. Not that I’ll never drink again but it’s just indicative of how welcoming the community is here and makes you really self reflect on your interests and your relationship with things. I will say however there is a sector of Austin’s if u fall in to will be just like dallas.
sooner_25@reddit
I have considered a move there, actually! Partly for this reason. I know wherever you go you’ll find the same type of vibe if you look for it, but Austin seems to be a lot more on my level with outdoors culture etc. Yes, Dallas has a running culture, but Austin seems to have a lot more adventurous opportunities that are not commercially curated somehow. I’ve lived here for a year and the drinking culture is getting so old. I’m religious and the only “other” major option is church, and while I’m not against that by any means, I don’t want to thrust myself into some pseudo AA type of deal where I’m making a bigger fuss of things going on.
The drinking culture here is quite insane. I mean, just scrolling through TikTok i see posts about people going to the Skellig and blacking out. Makes me feel like I’m in college again, and not in a great way. When my friends come into town what does everyone want to do? Get fucked up. Granted, that may be due to all of us being in our mid 20s and me being the only one with a true “college experience” as a fraternity guy at an SEC school. But it really seems like a lot of people’s hobby. In other cities, it feels more like an accessory. I just don’t know, I’m not wanting to generalize but if people were in my shoes and had my life experience, I think they’d feel the same.
addarail@reddit
I replaced it with massive amounts of coffee, weird how it’s one substance or another. It’s all around a better time and aftermath, albeit anxiety inducing.
Tasty_Lingonberry6@reddit
I find it exhausting listening to you make excuses as you why you can't do anything because possibly maybe someone might have a drink. Just do better or try harder. It's not that hard to be more independent. I do fun stuff all the time around this metroplex
Pecan_Artist@reddit
We need dispensaries.
dogepope@reddit
legal weed would substantially improve Dallas. everyone is so uptight here, drives way too fast, is so judgy. weed would help round some of those edges down, and i think make Dallas at least marginally more chill, like how it used to be a lot of the time
Traveshamockery27@reddit
How’s that better?
sooner_25@reddit
As a police officer friend told me: I’d rather deal with a stoner than a drunk any day of the week.
Pecan_Artist@reddit
Because edibles make me relax with no hangover.
Kaylamarie92@reddit
Some people feel the need to abuse alcohol but don’t with weed. It allows another outlet that someone can turn to if they can’t turn to alcohol. Many of my friends now are “California sober” because they don’t go as crazy with pot as they did on vodka. Quite frankly I hate the stuff, but we’re adults and life fucking sucks. Tax the shit and let em smoke all day long.
playballer@reddit
I don’t get why people have such a hard time with it. I can be social and not drink. I drank heavily in high school then stopped. Every phase of life after that is alcohol free for me even if I’m surrounded by drunk people all the time. College - never drank, young professional in Dallas-never drank, 30s-never drank, 40s-never drank. All the career stuff-never drank. Trips to Vegas, Napa, breweries, etc-never drank.
I do however just avoid the people that like to get blackout drunk because that’s not fun as a sober person. I’m comfortable telling people I just don’t do what they think is normal and I don’t really have or need an explanation for why. I also don’t golf or keep up with any sports and I’m a hetero male that’s been in Texas my whole 50 years. I have other hobbies though, just not the ones that may seem so obvious it almost like people only do it because everyone else does.
playballer@reddit
True but also not unique to this city at all.
JustMyThoughts2525@reddit
You just have to find a community to spend your time with. Take dance classes like Salsa, art classes, local play production, volunteer at the zoo, competitive spots leagues, martial arts or boxing schools. etc.
Dallas is a big enough metro where there are tons of things to do that don’t involve alcholol.
I’m not saying you need to dump all your friends, but you need to make some friendships where there are social opportunities that don’t involve drinking.
I’m also sure there are several communities of former addicts that have didn’t social events that you could participate in.
icepix@reddit (OP)
Might actually take you up on that. Been looking for something competitive that doesnt revolve around a bar after. Pickleball sounds weird but I keep hearing it from people who swore theyd never play it.
LadySandry@reddit
Join ultimate frisbee, a handful of people drink after pick up or league but 90% of us don't. Look up DUA on Facebook or Google. The ages of players ranges from late highschool/college to a few people in their 60s and 70s.
There is also Dallas Makerspace in Carrollton if you want to pick up a bunch of new hobbies. 3d printing, ceramics, woodworking, motorsports, etc etc. Booze isn't allowed on site last I was there.
I'm not a bar person so that side of Dallas social life is just not something I participate in. I play a lot of sports and when my friends get together it's dinner (with no drinks because none of us really do), board games at someone's house, or going out for a round of disc golf.
icepix@reddit (OP)
The hiking suggestion clicks. Might start there. Thanks for the push.
Administrative_Bad12@reddit
Try pickle ball, started playing it because I hated stairmaster and I thought I it was only for old heads and I’m in my early twenties but it always looked kinda fun. Soon as I tried it a month ago it has been one of the most fun sports I’ve ever played, and the community is amazing. There are socials always going around in the Dallas area and if you’re scared to go alone I’ll play with you, they do have “dinks and drinks” but that’s only on like fridays or something (I’ve never gone) and it’s hard to play impaired let alone sober.
Amissa@reddit
I had an alcoholic neighbor that stayed sober by playing tennis for hours everyday. By the time he came home, all he wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep. Substituted one addiction for another I suppose.
Futurllama29@reddit
Yeah but one destroys your life.. the other is alcohol.
RoyalStallion1986@reddit
2 years sober, and yeah pretty much all of my hobbies are solo now. Very few people are interested in doing anything, especially if it doesnt cost a ton of money
Tiny_Reference_3697@reddit
AA in Dallas is fantastic. There are tons of "Open" (meaning anyone in the community is welcome) meetings, which most often have a speaker, so you don't have to talk. You do not have to be an alcoholic (Can't predict when drinking will happen; drinking more than planned; drinking despite negative consequences) to attend any Open meeting. "Closed" meetings are for alkies, only.
Sobriety became SO fun, when I addressed the fear and resentment I was drinking over, with the help of other people who have made and recovered from the mistakes I think are so unique to moi.
I like Preston Group and Chicago Group. The Chicago Group Open meeting is only in Wednesday nights. GREAT speakers, super-friendly people. They have actual greeters who will introduce themselves and see that you find the cookies - and a sponsor, if that is your choice. (AA has zero rules)
Preston has a million meetings at all hours, as do many other groups. Just google whatever time and area you want to hit a meeting and you will hit sobriety gold.
And the giant Texas Statwide AA convention is at the Hilton this year in downtown Ft. Worth in July. You can search details. All are welcome, all meetings Open and there will be many fun, sober social events, from dancing to golf and swimming.
So many new friends, so little time...😉🤗
cantfindmykeys@reddit
As someone who just started the AA(currently in rehab) that convention sounds awesome
Tiny_Reference_3697@reddit
C'mon! LOADS of volunteer opportunities. I am often at Glasshouse Closed nooners in FW...happy to help!🤗
cantfindmykeys@reddit
Thanks. Im actually in Mansfield currently but live in Carrollton so looking at groups nearby there. I've heard alot about Glasshouse while here.
Tiny_Reference_3697@reddit
The Mansfield Group is GREAT.
astrotekk@reddit
Good for you for focusing on your health.
djcamic@reddit
Stomping Ground Comedy in the Design District does have beer and wine for purchase, but they're a very sober friendly space and there's no drink minimum or anything.
Bigfartz69420@reddit
take an improv class there! they're a non-profit so they don't have a big bar. everyone is very kind.
dobbydillber@reddit
Did you do an improv class? How was your experience? I’ve always thought it would be fun to do, not trying to break into UCB
djcamic@reddit
Agreed 9/10 people in your class will be there to make friends and try something new, not to be on SNL lol
Bigfartz69420@reddit
improv class is great! i took musical improv. everyone is super nice. you will make friends.
champagne_sup@reddit
Yeap, Dallas people like to drink!!! Every single restaurant has HH, everyone loves to go out for a drink or two or four
Puzzleheaded-Taste-7@reddit
just moved here from sf, sober and confident in my sobriety. alcohol culture here is REAL, especially in queer circles. i spend my weekend playing pickle ball, walking the trail instead of sitting at the ice house, and participating in my hobbies. i also go out to clubs with my friends, it’s not that bad unless everyone else is really drunk. i’m also looking for more sober things to do
Plenty_Software_2006@reddit
Yes, very normal so I left for 3 years and then came back. Good luck
TopNeighborhood2694@reddit
Yeah, but it’s still worth it if you want to get sober. Besides all these “hard drinking corporate types” might talk a big game but seriously have like two beers max
No-Sympathy-686@reddit
Juar hang out and drink soda and lime.
I hardly drink and when I go out I may have 1 and then switch to soda with lime.
sushisection@reddit
yeah virgin cocktails are tasty af
jtrage@reddit
It’s crazy how much they are charging for these now. Places used to give drinks to the designated drivers. Now the drinks are $1 less than one with alcohol.
TheDakestTimeline@reddit
Pretty much everywhere will.still.do soda with lime for free if it's out of the gun. Often times soft drinks too
Pots053@reddit
That’s what my wife does cause she doesn’t drink anymore. Or any sparkling water available. Even I started doing it a bit more.
ayoitsnick420@reddit
The problem with being an alcoholic (me, am 37 days sober), is that we have one drink and then won’t stop. Almost feels physically impossible. It’s called being drunk after your first drink.
PrincessSnarkicorn@reddit
I’ve heard it as “One is too many, twenty is not enough”
CuriousCamels@reddit
Yeah, only having a drink or two was never much fun for me. It was a while before I could even put myself in the situation to be around nightlife where most people were drinking. Just hit 4 years sober though. Keep it brother. It gets easier.
TexManZero@reddit
I'm proud of you 🙂
YaGetSkeeted0n@reddit
For sure. That was my problem for a while, took a long break from booze. I wasn't one of those people who was drinking a bunch every single day, but if I went to the store to get a six pack on a Friday night, it's cause I wanted to do some damage to that six pack!
ayoitsnick420@reddit
Haha yeah I wasn’t a daily drinker (as of lately), but anytime I’d have a drink I’d be blackout by the end of the night without fail.
DennisSmithJrIsMyGod@reddit
Keep it up brotha
icepix@reddit (OP)
I wish it were that simple. For me, one drink turns into ten. The pressure to even hold a soda while everyone else is getting drunk just feels like pretending.
ruleugim@reddit
Oooooh or my favorite cocktail as a child: tonic with lime.
H2Ospecialist@reddit
That's easy to say when you're not an alcoholic. Especially if OP is in early recovery.
Illustrious_Swing645@reddit
I usually just drink water or some form of soda water. But to people that struggle with addiction, is not as simple as just "drink something else." It's a huge learning curve for their brain.
I have similar struggles with junk food, so I just don't have it in my home. But luckily for me, a lot of social activities don't rely heavily on junk food.
NarcRuffalo@reddit
I disagree that social activities don't rely on junk food, and I personay find it easier to chill at a bar with a topo Chico than I do going out to brunch, dinner, birthday celebration, etc and not eating high calorie food. Most social gatherings at last in my circle include food and treats along with alcohol (which is also a diet killer). Having a social life when trying to be on a diet (and a budget) is hard!
shesaysImdone@reddit
Based on an informed knowledge of alcoholism I hope?
RichardPainusDM@reddit
Do you have crippling alcoholism? Alcoholism is more than “Just don’t drink”. Especially if you’re trying to get sober right out the gate.
When I first dried out, it was a week of being physically sick followed by about 4 months of nervous ticks because my central nervous system had been medically suppressed by alcohol for years. For months just driving by a liquor store made me want to throw away all my progress to make the urges stop; and society didn’t care one fucking but because it wasn’t their problem.
Eventually I was able to go to bars and “just drink water” but If I tried what you’re describing in the first 6 months it would have ruined me.
NarcRuffalo@reddit
My response wasn’t about alcoholism, it was about the comment about junk food. I was just saying that it’s also hard to avoid junk food at social gatherings, and that I personally am fine going to a bar and not drinking, but it’s harder for me to resist overeating. Not that it’s easy for everyone to go to a bar and drink sparkling water, or that it would be easy for an alcoholic. I definitely wasn’t trying to suggest that alcoholics should or could go to a bar and just not drink!
Gringo0984@reddit
The issue with this is when you are drinking with the crowd, it's all fun and games. But when you are sober and not drinking, the crowd can become annoying and sometimes intolerable. That's because drunk people are both of those but when you are also drunk, you don't notice.
herp5555@reddit
I lost the desire for drinking but my friend group mostly haven't. I know soda isn't the best for you, so I completely indulge on dr.peppers when I'm with them. I remind myself it's the treat for myself, as are the beers for the others! And if someone gives me shit I just tell them to fuck off.
abstract_object@reddit
Tonic and lime is good too, like a virgin G&T
Significant_Fox9290@reddit
This is the way.
DookieMcDookface@reddit
This is what I do.
handy___andy@reddit
you're definitely right! but you're not alone, we're out here. im going to an event tonight at deep ellum art co called flowmoon. will be there sober, music, fire spinning, art and good people
thefinalgoat@reddit
I’m so glad I’m not in my 20s.
Technical-Till7740@reddit
welcome to Texas, where all there is to do is drink and spend money
SlowSureSteady@reddit
Became Muslim, alcohol problems, not anymore, and I still socialize to a certain extent.
ThatDamnLibertarian@reddit
The walking-distance tavern in my neighborhood was hounded out of business by the TABC.
IranianLawyer@reddit
Is this a Dallas issue or is Dallas just like any other huge city? At networking events in NY or LA or Chicago, they don't usually have drinks?
beardlesswonder@reddit
I think Chicago drinking makes Dallas drinking look tame
We_DemBoys@reddit
It's not just Dallas. Society in general revolves around drinking.
I was getting out of control....500 and something days sober now 🍺.
It was hands down, one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself. 1- Career is thriving again. 2- Marriage too. 3- More 💰 🤑 money- I gave myself a ~10% raise. 4- Blood pressure is back to normal. Meds are no longer needed.
martinstorm2208@reddit
DFW sober socializing is rough. Kava bars like the ones popping up in Deep Ellum help. I've also brought Ferris Wheel tabs to networking events as my drink replacement.
Nanuschka-@reddit
It’s the old “new playpens” challenge. It is hard — legitimately hard. Keep up the 24/7 work. It is worth it. One note: sometimes I hear “sober folks” talking with pride about going to bars without drinking as if that makes them a Recovery Superhero. It does not. Recovery is about building a whole new, life-affirming way to be in the world. For some people, that may include going to bars/drinking parties without drinking. For many, it does not.
JustMeInBigD@reddit
As many times as I've pushed back against the "nothing to do in Dallas" folks (and with good reason), I think there are two chronically underserved cohorts here.
First, the sober.
Second is shift workers, especially restaurant and bar workers.
God help you if you're both.
I'd love to see more activities and third places for these groups. I have a very few suggestions for sober social activities and I'll share them when I get home with access to my laptop.
But also, if anyone has ideas of things they'd love to do in an alcohol-free environment, please comment here. I have some contacts I can share your thoughts with.
MentalEggplant9275@reddit
I’ve been sober for several years…and my social activity is daily radio check ins and round table discussions with people here in Dallas, throughout the state, region, and country, all without the internet. You may have heard of this hobby, it’s called amateur radio, and the conversations are called “nets.”
There is a lot of doom and gloom type in the hobby but also folks who just like to chit chat, experiment, overcome the effects of atmospherics, and have some structure about their day.
You can do it from home, a park, or attend weekly club meetings.
Anyways…that’s what I do.
JustMeInBigD@reddit
Thanks for that suggestion! My dad really enjoyed "ham" radio, and I can definitely see the appeal.
MentalEggplant9275@reddit
If you have any questions about getting involved, I’m happy to answer them.
sooner_25@reddit
I’m a Ham as well. More into the digital side of things.
MentalEggplant9275@reddit
It’s a great hobby, and I hope that as we age, there is folks to talk with like the old timers do now. It’s really a beautiful thing to have someone to always chat with without having to leave your home, and not have to rely on the internet
77geminis@reddit
Thephoenix.org hosts sober activities.
berryer@reddit
honestly when I was not working traditional hours it was way easier to find sober-friendly stuff to do. The Dallas public library system has a shitload of events every day, but they close at 7:45PM. There's a ton of parks and nature around, but there's only like a three-week overlap where it's still light out for a few hours after 5 and not ungodly hot.
baphometsbike@reddit
Sometimes the library has “late night” events, or at least they used to in the before times
berryer@reddit
sometimes, but not on a daily basis like you can find late-morning/early-afternoon stuff
JustMeInBigD@reddit
Usually one or two nights a week til 9.
berryer@reddit
I'm seeing some until 8 but nothing later than that this month. Could be doable, but once you figure in actually getting out the door + commute + dinner + a shower (depending on your job) + driving to the library (if you had to go home to shower) you're cutting it pretty close.
WFH is also a game-changer for being able to do sober stuff on weekday evenings if that's an option for a person, though.
JustMeInBigD@reddit
I can absolutely see the truth in that.
The only thing I can add is that most of the Dallas branch libraries still have one evening a week (sometimes two) that they're open till 9. By the time you fight traffic, you've dipped into your time, so it's still not ideal. I'd also say that till 9, indoor malls are an option, and non-shopping (as I like to call it) at NorthPark is one of my favorite things to do. I'm going to see the CASA playhouses this weekend, and other than potentially some snacks and sips, I won't be spending a penny. Hope you can find some other great sober fun to have.
My concern is that service workers often turn to drinking after work because there's nothing else to do. I became very aware of it when I interviewed multiple former restaurants who left food service for good during the pandemic. I can't imagine working those hours, NOT drinking and trying to form some semblance of a social life (in Dallas or anywhere else).
poop_pebbles@reddit
True, there are cafes, soda bars, and even if the temptation is to much lots of gas stations that do not sell alcohol. As well as restaurants. Sucked for me at first, but almost 4 years, and I dont even pay attention anumore.
Impossible-Try-9161@reddit
You've described the toxic culture that newcomers bemoan and of which outsiders are forewarned.
pradafever@reddit
I live in the walkable core of the city and I get by without drinking or having drinks only once every other month or so. I spend more effort doing daytime activities than evening ones and it helps.
cometssaywhoosh@reddit
Not gonna lie, it's pretty much everywhere. When I was in Europe the culture literally revolved around drinking, smoking, and chilling for a few hours during free time. The only difference is less cars.
sooner_25@reddit
A lot of places in Europe have high drinking rates but it feels more like an accessory rather than the main event. Less getting trashed
miataataim66@reddit
Uhhhh, no. Not true. They get hammered like crazy and it's the main event for sure. Lived there for some time.
Relative_Specific217@reddit
Can confirm it’s true in the suburbs too. Parents walking around with alcohol in their Stanleys at kids sporting events and any kind of get together revolves around it. I’ve seen 40-year-olds doing keg stands while their kids are in a bounce house 10 feet away. This was at a Christmas party. Then they go get vitamin iv’s the next morning to have the energy to shuttle kids places. I think it’s so weird.
Nate1102@reddit
Make Party Favors Great Again!
Jersey86Devil@reddit
If I'm driving I just get NA beers.
mrezee@reddit
I tried them recently and was surprised how good they were. The branded ones like Busch NA, Heineken Zero, etc honestly taste better than their alcoholic counterpart. Had one from Athletic that was really good too.
Jersey86Devil@reddit
Heineken is good; Athletic had a good variety; Bud Zero is good too. There's another one that might be Lone Star, or some kind of Texas-related name.
I went out with some friends to a Rogan show one night. One guy was supposed to drive, but I get motion sickness from some people's driving, so I offered to drive. On the way home, he said, "I'm glad you're driving cuz they were pouring those drinks strong." Like wtf, did you plan on drinking like that and driving all 4 of us?
Notmugsy13@reddit
Dude, there is so much to do here. I just moved back last year and I am overwhelmed with how many options I have. White rock, arboretum, go see some butterflies at fair park, art museums (and the DMA is free), museums in general (there are soooo many!), the opera, plays, car shows, there are so many free events put on by different cities all over town. I am not sober, but I almost completely quit drinking this year because I have way too many hobbies and things to do. Take a class, go for a bike ride, get you some culture! You got this, and it’ll get easier once you make some good habits.
Chance-Adept@reddit
Yes. It’s true in the suburbs too. All the parents just get together and drink.
It sucks but I’m just less social now then when I drank. You have to figure out what your new activities are - if you are like I was and drinking took up most of your free time.
Push for middle of the day activities and / or activities that are actually activities, that’s my only advice. If it’s a “dinner party” I’m out - that’s just standing around (sitting around) and drinking.
If it’s a pumpkin carving contest or a chili cook off or some shit, people are still drinking but it’s not the focus. You’ll have to find your way and I know you will, people like us just can’t drink man. Godspeed.
icepix@reddit (OP)
The parent social scene is so real. I've started pushing for daytime hikes or coffee meetups instead. Some friends surprise you, others just fade. Still figuring it out, but knowing I'm not alone helps. Godspeed to you too.
TrillDaddyChill@reddit
I have the opposite problem. I think the sober culture in this city makes my drinking feel isolating. There are several couples that we’ve been hanging out with who’s either my wife’s friends who are parents or my son’s friends parents who don’t drink. It sucks
Personal_Might2405@reddit
💯so, so, so much Jesus/sober energy 🤮 can I pray with you? Lol
TrillDaddyChill@reddit
“What church do you go to?” /s
StrLord_Who@reddit
How does someone else who is not drinking alcohol affect you in any way?
TrillDaddyChill@reddit
The judgement. I’m not going to bring alcohol over to a sober person’s house out of respect, but a few times we’ve shown up with a 6 pack or a bottle of wine not knowing.
pjackson0901@reddit
It sure does. When you stop drinking coffee, if ever, you will be shocked.
cilantro88@reddit
I thought the younguns were now doing running groups and healthy shit to meet people. Nothing wrong with getting drunk once a week in my book.
sooner_25@reddit
Optimization culture will come crashing down soon I think. We’ve hit the end stage….Strava posts on everyone’s instagrams
Friendly-Win1457@reddit
Where are all the teetotalers?
DrHerbotico@reddit
Just do coke instead
KennyDROmega@reddit
Lot of places serve mocktails or CBD/THC spiked stuff now.
Been California sober for awhile and I can’t say I’ve found it that tough to still go out.
Empty-Brilliant2135@reddit
Old crow in lower Greenville has some thc drinks and then the bartender told me the place next door (forget the name) has frozen thc “margaritas”. Double d’s in Dallas has a delicious mocktail menu and they’re like $5-$8
xoxo_angelica@reddit
Truckyard maybe? Also on Greenville near Old Crow and they have a wide variety of alcohol free drinks, including multiple THC-infused offerings
warrior641@reddit
Do you know any? I tried to search it up and all I got was smoke shops
sooner_25@reddit
Sprouts has something called Canna-bliss that start at 2MG. If you do not use MJ, anything higher than that will make you blasted. If it were alcohol, the 5MG drinks of THC would be the equivalent of taking a couple shots in an hour, you’ll be fucked up
ootsyputsy@reddit
MajickOne629@reddit
Will be downvoted but is this a Texas culture thing? Because in Houston, it was literally the same.
Agreeable-Singer-244@reddit
I'm not saying there isn't a drinking problem, they're might be. I am just saying, seeing these post a lot. Is kind of crazy because there is a lot to do in the city/metroplex. But I feel like a big problem; is that people are looking for easy friendships and easy connective relationships, which you can find. But the people usually match the environment. The problem is putting in the work. Is it worth it to you? Do the activities or building an actual friendship seem worth it? It's like everyone wants to follow everybody in this city sometimes. However saying that there's nothing to do but drink is absurdly untrue. Or everything surrounds drinking, if you're telling me you cannot have one or two drinks or none while doing your activity with your friends then it's more of a you problem. Then what you are surrounded by.
Few_Calligrapher_580@reddit
Going on a wellness retreat some weekend in your state might be nice to switch it up and socialize with others looking to build healthy lifestyles.
xenokilla@reddit
If you like exercise, the movement gyms are great. lots of social events and no drinking. there are also social non alcoholic shops like this one in richardson: https://beyondthebar.square.site/
Sea_Issue7796@reddit
Life is so fucking boring as a non drinker, as someone who was a heavy drinker.
ReefLedger@reddit
Agreed. But I'll take boring and peaceful over nearly dying any day of the week.
H2Ospecialist@reddit
Yeah. Boring? Sure kinda, but I prefer the boring peace than anxiety driven recklessness that was fun until it wasn't.
Mastabay_Ray@reddit
That’s definitely a mindset issue right there. Ever since I stopped drinking, I became way more productive and started doing many hobbies that I couldn’t imagine I would do with constant drinking.
Sea_Issue7796@reddit
You’re right. I am way more productive now, but it still feels mundane. I have hobbies, but aside from the ones that require physical activity, every other hobby I have feels more boring sober. But I’m alive to actually do them now, so there’s that. Life is better, it’s just not magically exciting every day.
high_everyone@reddit
I physically can't drink anymore. It cuts me like a knife in the guts if I do. Even a shot is too much for me.
I smoke weed for medical reasons related to that. I have zero problems wanting to hang out with people who want to drink, just the expectation that I'm not wanting to sit there for hours while someone gets fucked up bad on alcohol while I could be smoking weed and be good to drive an hour or two later at most.
Dry herb vapes keep me from smelling too, so I can hang out after I smoke.
Gullible-Ad-9499@reddit
Meetup has some cool things that don’t involve drinking. I had to turn to that when I moved to the metro during covid with no family or friends here.
thebest369@reddit
Bro wow me too dude I’m in the north but let’s link up one day and kick it
Interesting_News_226@reddit
....when at the end of the road....
texaskeepsake@reddit
Very relatable. Realizing friends weren’t really friends but just drinking buddies. Taking advantage of our metroplex’s nature helped a lot. Love going on hikes and walks. Enjoy your sobriety and be proud of yourself. You deserve it.
raw2082@reddit
Agree. I stopped drinking 7.5 years ago when I was diagnosed with cancer at 36. I have several friends that are sober because of addiction. You definitely have to find other things to do. I enjoy being outside and there’s plenty to do. It’s also not something you necessarily need others to join you in either but I’ve done meet up groups as well.
SipoteQuixote@reddit
Its everywhere, how many times has your favorite show ended with every at the bar or around a table drinking. "Man, I need a drink" after anything slightly inconvenient happens. Commercials showing everyone having a good time but not how it is at 1am when everyone is acting a fool. Like you mentioned, everything has alcohol lumped next to it. Arcade? Beer. Hiking trail? Beer. Kid's outing? Make sure they serve something with alochol or Im not going.
Adultery@reddit
We had some relatives that didn’t show up to our wedding because we weren’t having alcohol at the reception lol
thathappyhippie@reddit
I don’t have much of a friend group anymore because I don’t drink anymore, and I don’t want to go out to bars to meet people either. I don’t have any “nerdy” interests like d&d to meet people at so I’m out of luck on that end too lmao. It’s honestly really lonely out here now.
Liberteabelle1@reddit
I rarely drink, maybe 2-3 cocktails per year. My friend group are not big drinkers, so this is a non-issue for me. Some do sometimes, but I don’t actually have any alcoholic tendencies (but have been around folks in my family who do and it’s hella tough. I’m sorry man, it’s HARD. There are others out there who don’t drink, or rarely do. I suggest you seek out some new friends… not everyone is a drinker.
How do you do that? Do activities that aren’t about drinking or food. Join a book club. Join a running or walking club. Church (not my thing but may be yours). Become politically active. Donate time to charities.
When you do activities like these, you meet people. Interesting people. And casually make it known that you don’t drink.
JoMA9@reddit
I have friends that are sober and we still find things to do outside of drinking. I think you just need to expend your social circle or have some serious conversation with you current circle.
77geminis@reddit
Fellow sober person here! Just chiming in to say that I feel your frustration and it can be harder to build community when you don’t drink. I’m managing to do it, but I do have light/moderate drinkers in my circle (they’re respectful of my lifestyle). I know that’s not possible for everyone.
meowingcat91@reddit
Move somewhere with nature where there's more to do than just go out and eat or drink. You'll be surprised at how quickly you'll heal.
StoryStar21@reddit
I hope you find a sober community/friend group. Community is going to be very important for your recovery. Wishing you the absolute best. Addiction is hard, but you can do it one day at a time.
JustMeInBigD@reddit
I only have a couple of suggestions to make, but I'm happy to see there are some good ones.
There is a Sober Dallas group on Meetup, but if I am not mistaken the leader of the group or a sponsor of some of its events is in the zero-proof industry. I might have this one mixed up with Zero Proof Dallas which also does some events, usually posted on Eventbrite. Fine if that works for you.
Obviously it doesn't work for some folks where they are in their sobriety. I prefer things that are completely unfriendly to drinking culture. (I am only sober for future health concerns, so I don't have issues with compliance, but I completely understand those who DO.)
I would definitely recommend at least one time to go to the Steak Night on the first Saturday of every month at Dallas 24 Hour Club. Their members will be part of it, but the community is invited. I haven't been yet, but it's been on my "check this out" for a long time - ever since I discovered this organizion through a food event they host each year. I think the cost these days might be $15 for the meal, and while it won't be fancy steakhouse quality, I expect it will be quite good. Meetings afterward are optional, but might provide more opportunities to connect with people who want some sober social life.
I have long wanted to host a "Sunday Supper" somewhere that's alcohol-free...if not all the time at least for that event duration. One of my favorite restaurants doesn't serve alcohol and is closed on Sundays, but occasionally rents the space for private events. Between the potential cost and all the other things to think about, I haven't done it. But if there's some demand, I could put out some feelers to potential venues if there are people who would want to do this. If someone (me or anyone else) can find a venue, I'd even do it on a Friday or Saturday night or a weekend afternoon.
deja-roo@reddit
This hits home, and I feel like part of the problem. I dated a girl last year who doesn't drink and she could tell I had no idea what to do with her. Like after getting dinner a few times and hanging out at the Arboretum, I was kind of at a loss.
myshellly@reddit
Bars have never been my thing and I’ve never been a drinker, but I don’t feel like my social life suffers. There is SO much to do in DFW. You can find a book club any night of the week; there are tons of museums that offer lectures, book events, and late night activities; there’s 2 major and lots of minor gardens to stroll through; there are free concerts almost every weekend; there are art festivals, farmers markets, arcades. There are tons of coffee shops and book stores to hang out at. There’s 2 major theaters, a Tony award winning regional theater, and more local theaters than I can name. There’s day spas (there’s always a Groupon), dance lessons (always a Groupon), archery, gun ranges. And that’s just stuff I’ve done recently off the top of my head. I’ll never understand people who can’t find stuff to do here.
LargeMeringue456@reddit
Congrats on getting sober! From my experience, drinking culture is pretty high across the US especially in the workplace environment. While I can't speak from a sober perspective, I do tend to gravitate towards more people who don't drink and/or force me to feel like I need to drink.
CarryTheBoat@reddit
I just go out and don’t drink alcohol. It’s awkward at first. You have to build confidence and resilience to be able to say “nah I’m good” and know that you’re not a bitch for not wanting to drink.
u2aerofan@reddit
I think this is an America or Late Stage Capitalism thing. It’s not unique to Dallas. But that doesn’t make it ok. I would say get involved with some local groups that do charity work or a hobby you like. Try some art classes?
TomatoWitty4170@reddit
I got sober in Texas. Never felt better.
DiceDawson@reddit
Have you considered getting into amphetamines?
Gringo0984@reddit
This city? This is not even close to being something specific to Dallas. Alcohol is a huge part of American culture in general. Look at the advertising on any given tv show/sporting event. All the alcohol promotion in movies/tv shows.
RichardPainusDM@reddit
Hey there, If you’re looking for a social bubble outside of drinking check out this Phoenix program. It’s an active club with chapters all over the US. Wide variety of activities from meditation to boxing to rock climbing and it’s free.
The program is for sober people looking to have fun without having to deal with what you’re describing.
I’m coming up on 10 years sobriety and I feel what you’re saying. Just keep working on yourself and it’ll get easier. Especially as you start gaining the bandwidth to get your life in order.
Wish you the best of luck and be kind to yourself.
askmeforashittyfact@reddit
You live in a high population density area with a higher than average income and hanging out in areas that have alcohol. You’re an alcoholic and questioning why there’s so much alcohol? Why not ask why there’s so many restaurants or fishing? You’ve focused yourself on one aspect and are now asking why that’s the whole picture.
bigbugzman@reddit
I lost so many acquaintances when I stopped getting drunk / high all the time. My friends stuck around.
dallaswatchdude@reddit
surround yourself with different people first off. and no one is ever going to shove a beer in your hand - you have to be able to say 'no I'm not drinking'. If that irks someone, they are a moron. The beer doesn't have agency, you do.
wlcm2jurrassicpark@reddit
You need different friend group and community. Most people I recreationally hang out with, dont drink anymore.
Guitarscreamer55@reddit
lol complaining about such a nonproblem. Hope you can survive not going to the Katy trail icehouse 👍
ElGranQuesoRojo@reddit
I dunno, feels like it's not nearly as booze intense as it used to be. At least when it comes to commercial production houses anyway. Maybe that's b/c so many houses have been wiped out but the amount of crazy industry parties and "work" events my wife is required to attend has shrunk to a large degree.
Anxious-Chair9569@reddit
I definitely lost friends when I cut out clubbing and drinking, but that’s fine with me. I want people in my life to choose me whole heartedly and not only choose me when we’re under the influence. I can now say that I moved away from the immediate Dallas area (thank God I get to avoid that traffic) and I’m able to have hobbies that don’t consist of drinking with friends as soon as work is over.
It was hard at first because it was routine at some point to go out and turn up, but I also feel a lot healthier now.
Jazzlike-Grape-1332@reddit
All there is to do is work, shop, eat, drink…. repeat
whytakemyusername@reddit
It sounds like you've had too much fun in the past and now you're upset that everyone else is having fun.
Alcohol is a normal part in the majority of people's lives in the western world. It sucks that it got a hold of you, but for most people it doesn't and they're able to enjoy it responsibly.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying drinking and it being a social form of entertainment. Unfortunately you've previously took it too far. You aren't excluded though - order a mocktail or a 0% beer. They're everywhere now.
notamyokay@reddit
What a weird comment.
whytakemyusername@reddit
Why?
notamyokay@reddit
I don't drink. I also don't have much of a social life anymore either. Hobbies and a couple really good friends.
Mayfect@reddit
Post in r/stopdrinking and they’ll give you good ideas to keep your mind occupied on other things
SaltyCurrent4975@reddit
Read "How to Stop Drinking the Easy Way" by Allen Carr. That not only allowed me to stop drinking but to be around ppl who drink much easier.
You'll lose some friends over it and that's just part of the process. You'll meet new people whose world doesn't revolve around booze.
Consistent_Ad4272@reddit
If you’re sober just decline or have a sprite lol recovering addicts that cry like this are the worst
Broad_Mushroom_8033@reddit
I'm an addict and sober for over 10yrs. Yea I agree. Being an addict is usually your identity for a while after getting sober, and a lot of times worn as a badge of honor. it was mine too, but then I realized how embarrassing it was to act like that. I just drink soda water and lime if I go out while everyone else gets hammered.
Mexdude02@reddit
Say no to peer pressure. Put your adults pants on and ask for a water.
I have had what would amount to half a can of alcohol my whole life. I get made fun of. I don't care
VeganWerewolf@reddit
Welcome to Texas
303onrepeat@reddit
If you are over 25 and you are still getting black out drunk you need some massive help. We hang out with some people who are in the middle to late 40's and each weekend they get drunk to the point they have to Uber home most of the time. That shit is annoying and it looks ridiculous at their age.
eyesandvibes08@reddit
I used to feel this way but have found friends who enjoy doing things other than drinking. Joining a smaller gym or having a consistent group fitness activity you like helps a ton! Dallas has great concerts and many sporting events to occupy time too. Loads of bike and hiking trails in the city and surrounding areas. This last year I pushed myself to do new shit rather than keep complaining (not saying you are) and my perspective of Dallas has changed. Gotta get comfortable with things that feel awkward tbh.
My husband is sober and has found a great community within AA and CA (he’s never tried coke even). There are people out there for you! Just one day at a time.
bepeacock@reddit
my bf and I never go to the gayborhood anymore cuz it’s just drinking and he’s sober. miss seeing drag shows and people watching there.
Few_Entertainer_5523@reddit
There’s women on my instagram that just take pics of their drinks and post stories about it lol like is that the only thing going on for you in life?
CharlieKellyDayman@reddit
100%
Same issue with eating healthy. It’s so isolating because no one else does it - fried food, heavy sauces, and BBQ everywhere you go.
YaGetSkeeted0n@reddit
I think a lot of it has to do with finding new things to do and finding like-minded people who don't drink much. For what it's worth, a good majority of American adults really don't drink that much at all. A decent amount barely touch it, another big chunk really do drink responsibly. You're just not running into them at bars, and they don't stand out at restaurants and whatnot cause they're not getting loaded. I'm sure the distribution isn't even (i.e., there are probably more non-drinkers in rural Utah than in downtown Milwaukee...) but it's still worth keeping in mind. You've gotta get out and about to do activities that appeal to you and suss out people who fit your vibe.
SmokedNoodz@reddit
Correct. I do a lot of outdoorsy solo activities early on weekends. Seems like all my friends are sleeping in hungover and then do it all over again later the next night. I'm pretty over living like that.
I enjoy my solitude but there are groups for everything. Figure out what sober hobbies you enjoy and find folks to engage in them with. For networking events and the like.. I don't have a good answer. I will hang out with my friends and not drink. It's work to consciously not partake.
Better_Reference3502@reddit
Consider joining a martial arts gym for Muay Thai, BJJ, or similar. I also know people in run clubs and pickleball leagues (although the former tends to run to a bar after their workout lol). Toastmasters is also a great organization centered around public speaking. DFW is big enough to where there’s a myriad of clubs, orgs, and activities for people to get into, that don’t involve alcohol.
Frosty_Occasion2654@reddit
You should follow alcoholfreeindally on Instagram!
Khale84@reddit
Yes. Previously worked in the night club industry and I’ve been sober over 5 years. Had to completely change my environment and worked hard on building connections with likeminded people. I’ve made friends at the gym, yoga and meet up groups.
psycwave@reddit
This is almost every city. I believe Austin is a bit better tho
James-the-Bond-one@reddit
Do the dry Baptist areas still exist?
gvilchis23@reddit
Yup, this city is drink oriented, but also with not so much fun without the drinking, meaning places are quite uninterested 🤷♂️
good-timing-407@reddit
I totally feel ya. I moved to the area (I’m a bit west of Fort Worth) with about two years of sobriety already, so I guess I just never dipped my toes in that part of social life. I’m into cars, and car groups don’t really revolve around booze much. Sure there’s a truck or two at shows that’ll have booze but more than not people are not drinking. We did the Ren Faire and it’s a lot of fun just people watching.. drinks are crazy expensive and there’s FAR LESS people drinking there than in my home town’s Ren Faire (drink Wisconsinably!). There’s a street dance near us on the 6th and I can’t imagine being outside at noon with a BAC greater than 0.00 but it should be a lot of fun.
There’s some really solid recovery groups in the area if you’re interested. They do a lot of sober events, which can broaden your horizon with things to do in the area. Just going and asking what people do for fun can also give you some ideas and possibly start to meet sober friends.