Leading up to Christmas we’d usually see Christmas lights at the “Herr’s Potato Chip Factory.” They were up the road and decorated a big forested area by their corporate headquarters with lights and decorations for free. We’d play Christmas music in the car and sing along. We’d also visit a nearby botanical garden that also had lot of genuinely magical decorations. Us kids usually sang in a Christmas pageant for School that family would show up for and we went door to door as Christmas Carolers a few times-occasionally volunteered at the food bank. We sometimes would got to Church the Sunday before Christmas to see a performance of the nativity.

Christmas Eve was a huge Event with my mom. We’d make tons of food us kids liked, including a “Jesus Birthday cake” that us kids decorated, lots of cookies- ect. My grandparents would come over for a dinner. We’d get to open small one present. We didn’t have stockings- but essentially a stocking stuffer.

After going to bed my mom only then wrapped all the presents and put them under the tree- so we never knew how many we were getting till that morning. The Christmas tree was already decorated by us maybe 2 weeks in advanced- but she’d really make the entire living room fancy overnight so we’d wake up to an amazing sight of surprise like in the movie Elf at the toy store.

Christmas Morning us kids would wake up- and we’d wake up our mom. She needed to get her coffee first and she’d put on Christmas music. We’d then take turns opening presents as directed by our mom - as the most impressive present was usually saved for last.

After that mom would make pancakes and bacon and we’d play with our toys. There’d be boxes and wrapping paper piled everywhere we’d be careful to not trip on and we ran around in bliss. The mess was part of the magic.

Around Noon she’d get us ready to go to Dad’s house. They and our step brother always waited for us to open presents. Right after showing up we’d get to business opening presents in front of the tree. I always thought it weird as a kid that my dad’s was way wealthier- but their Christmas was always very modest. Very few decorations (he made a bigger effort for Halloween)- and not much effort was put into presents—- we might get a gift card and some generic souvenirs from their world travels or Disney World.

I wasn’t ungrateful exactly, but it made me realize how people celebrated differently. Also- my dad only saw us every other weekend- so maybe he just didn’t know what we liked and was too embarrassed to ask. I started bringing some of my new toys from my mom’s house so I had something to do while there.

That evening we’d have a pretty “stereotypical” Christmas dinner with the entire extended family. The adults at the main table- and kids at a second two tables in the living room. The adults sometimes argued and it always felt overly stiff. Usually an overcooked turkey or ham… some cookies. I was always grateful when everyone left so I could relax. I wasn’t super close to that side of the family so it felt like having a big get together with strangers.

We’d usually stay 1 extra day at my dad’s and return around 7pm to our mom’s. Then another big Christmas dinner where she’d invite our other side of the family over. Grandfather would come in with a sack of toys like Santa Clause for us and our cousins. My mom would have a big pot of family recipe “Holiday Soup” (similar to Italian wedding soup) that was made from scratch. Sometimes there’d be a feast of seafood. Tons of cakes and sweets. Other times traditional Turkey/Ham- but more edible than my dad’s. Big pot of Macaroni and cheese to appeal to all the kids.

It was a loud affair- but everyone was usually happy and well fed. We’d often eat buffet style and some people would have to eat standing or sitting on the couch. Us kids would be watching tons of old Christmas movies. One time at the end of the evening my grandparents came in with a litter of puppies for all of us.

I probably focused a lot on food and toys… but as kids that’s mostly what I paid attention to. As an adult I don’t have kids yet and don’t live near family. I don’t have to motivation to make a big meal for just 2 people- and as an adult presents often feel different because you can just buy stuff for yourself and the things you really want can’t always be wrapped in a box with a pretty ribbon.