How do you progress in careers when you're not a confident person, interviews are hell?
Posted by highrouleur@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 10 comments
I do a skilled manual job that I got an apprenticeship for 30 years ago, been with the same company all that time.
Obviously I know the job well and for the last few years have been trying to move up, but I'm terrible at interviews.
I've actually done a "training period" doing the role I want to move up to at one of our sites. Started out supposed to be 2 weeks, ended up being 2 months and I didn't do too badly, despite it not really being training so much as "you're doing the role now, get on with it".
Went back to my normal job and have recently applied for a vacancy and had an interview.
A new manager gave me a bit of coaching beforehand which was very much "you've got to be confident, come straight out with answers while holding eye contact"
But that isn't me. I'm not going to instantly come out with a confident answer to a complicated problem. With a bit of time to think I'll come up with a solution that will probably work, and some fall back options, but rarely will I feel comfortable offering a definite solution immediately.
So I've done the interview, it went so-so, waiting to hear back.
What I'm wondering, for people lacking confidence, do we just have to accept that we're not going to interview well enough to advance? I've only ever tried within my own company, I can't imagine trying to move to another company where I'm not known
asterallt@reddit
My advice is don’t rely on interviews. Ask for coffees with influential people. And just keep having them week after week. I’ve never applied for a job. I’ve always had about 100 coffees with various people in different companies before each job I’ve got. Just talk to people, engage, take on advice, and just ONE of them will realise you’re the perfect person for the role they have in mind. Then when you go to interview you’ll already have had someone say ‘guys, this is the one we want’.
More than happy if you want to DM me about how to go about getting the coffees in. But I promise it’s just about putting yourself out there and continuing to talking to people… I know it seems ridiculous and bloody hard work but long-term it’s more efficient than interviews.
highrouleur@reddit (OP)
I'll be honest, that sounds like something you need a certain amount of confidence for?
You're winning people over by being confident, charismatic and likeable. Imagine you had none of those traits....
People need a few months to warm to me
-info-sec-@reddit
Sometimes we need a forward assist in life. You've identified one weakness, however you will have more.
Continue to seek discomfort, that's the only way to get around this.
Eye contact, public speaking etc
McLeod3577@reddit
I think a lot of people aren't that confident, but they have tried and tested coping strategies. There's also a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I disagree with your manager saying that you need to come straight out with an answer. Pause for a few seconds to formulate your answers. Interviewers like this as it shows you are thinking. Blurting out an answer without forming it properly is definitely worse. The key to interview confidence is practice and preparation. You need to spend some time thinking about the questions you will be asked and prepare good answers. Part of this is to make sure you sell yourself. The interview is to find out why you want to work for them, but also making sure they know why they should recruit you.
Inevitable-Aide684@reddit
I think what you have said in this post is an amazing answer to “what is your weakness”!!
The way you have explained it perfectly justifies your lack of confidence.
highrouleur@reddit (OP)
I have used that before in interviews.
Feedback from new boss was "never mention lack of confidence".
Industry is buses. Looking to step up from repairing to running a workshop. So big thing is ensuring we have fit vehicles ready and waiting to adhere to the timetable
windy_on_the_hill@reddit
Ask if you can help do interviews, for the experience.
The whole interview thing makes massively more sense when you're the one doing the interviewing. That will help hugely when you are next in the hot seat.
JedsBike@reddit
I went from minimum wage admin worker to worldwide president when I set up as self employed.
There are other ways to do well in your career other than working in someone else. Especially when it’s something you love - you do grow in confidence over the years.
ByteSizedGenius@reddit
If you've not done any of something for your 30 years you're not going to be good at it. I try to in my head make it a peer relationship... They are scouting me out for suitably and I'm scouting out if this is a role I want.
As for answers if I've got nothing immediately I'll at least try to verbalise how I'm working through it in my head so they can see my thought process.
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