How do you swerve job questions at parties ?
Posted by claudetteandharold@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 525 comments
Going to a party later and knowing the crowd that are going to be pretty conventionally middle class London I know I will be asked ‘What do you do ?’ 20 times , although anyone who asks it tends to deny it seems a pretty blatant albeit maybe subconscious ‘status check’ attempt
I’ve tried emphasising other hobbies and interests but they normally make it clear they’re interested in my professional activities
Plenty of people aren’t bothered and when you get right down to it see beyond it I’ve experienced that plenty too
My attempts to deflect with humour or self-deprecation don’t work , everything else you emphasise seems like it’s over-compensating and you have to just accept the dynamic that you will be treated differently once it’s found out what you do
How do you or would you swerve these questions ?
Or are you an ‘own it’ kind of person ?
( Disclaimer : know this message probably betrays a fair amount of insecurity and as much my issues as a it is a social dynamic I’m aware of that)
Professional-Fig3168@reddit
We spend 40hrs+ a week at work. Why would we want to spend our free time talking about work? There are better icebreakers out there work is always the boring default. I used to tell people I wa a gold digger or belly dancer just for shits and giggles.
29407258729587348957@reddit
Definitely insecurities. There's no way you'd be asking this if you had a job you weren't worried about mentioning (or maybe you don't have a job). A job is a huge part of people's identities, and it's also perfect small-talk/an ice breaker. There's no getting away from the question. But most people don't really care what you do, and/or will forget what you said in 20 minutes anyway so I'd not let it spoil your evening. Maybe thing about amusing answers which avoid answering. "I think a better question is what job do I really WANT to be doing...".
Unhappy_Ad5954@reddit
you're MADE to feel insecure. the looks and short awkward pauses you get if you say something like 'oh im just working the factory floor atm' is real and you ain't gaslighting people into thinking otherwise. there is 100% a snobbery in this country toward a lot of working class jobs and then we all scratch our heads and wonder why the native population dont want these jobs and we're forced to bring in a billion immigrants each year (among many other reasons ofc)
Mysterious_Use4478@reddit
Some people, yeah, plenty people, no. No one can make some one insecure, that’s on you.
It is just the easiest ice breaker when meeting a new person.
Unhappy_Ad5954@reddit
i mean you could say the same thing for anything. you could say the same for 'being scared' but noone's gonna blame you for being scared if someone puts a gun to your head
Mysterious_Use4478@reddit
Ok? Doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Only you are responsible for any insecurities you have.
Unhappy_Ad5954@reddit
lol yeah cos everyone's just the perfect embodiment of stoicism liek you. righto bud.
Mysterious_Use4478@reddit
I’m not a stoic, not perfect, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t change the fact that you are in charge of your mind, no one else. For better or worse.
First you slippery sloped me, now you try to attack my character, because you know I’m right really.
Truewit_@reddit
Make up a really cool sounding job and just lie the whole evening
v24t@reddit
Someone at a party once told me they were a hostage negotiator and I’m just now realising that it was probably bollocks
jeminar@reddit
Did meet someone at a party who genuinely was a hostage negotiator and had secured the release of Terry Waite during the Beirut crisis.
They weren't shitting me! I checked afterwards.
v24t@reddit
Were they called Pete?!?
NewtonsOyster@reddit
That's awesome. I met a guy at a party years ago who was a UN Nuclear Weapons Inspector. Worked for Hans Blix. He was in Iraq etc. Cool dude!
Truewit_@reddit
Were they the hostage and the negotiator do you think? 😂
Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit
But make up a different one for each person who asks
SonOfGreebo@reddit
My go-to fake job used to be "working on designing environments for captive sharks" based entirely on a novel I read in my teens. Then one party I met a woman who's real life job was in the live-birth and egg-layi v shark nursery at London Aquarium (doo doo d-dooodi doo) and I was UTTERLY BEATEN
unseemly_turbidity@reddit
Hehe. You'd get on great with my friend who convinced another mate that she was a dolphin vet, based in London. The whole group was in on at and we kept it going for a few weeks before he twigged.
Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit
How do you know that wasn't just her cover story though and she might have been feeling the same way like "shit this guy actually works in my pretend field 😳"
SonOfGreebo@reddit
....... I can see a "Picturehouse" style, quirky London rom-com script evolving before my eyes....
Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit
Then you eventually find out that neither of you know the first fucking thing about sharks 😂😂
SonOfGreebo@reddit
Act Two: One -or both! - of us emergency book a shark-watching / cage diving with sharks holiday to speed run learning shark information.
Montage of me/ us being really annoying to the tour guide by asking tons of obsessively detailed questions.
Plot twist: one of us self-inflicts a pretend bite injury
pjwlondon@reddit
But not, one hopes, the hard way.
SpartacusUK@reddit
I’ve found my person! I would do this and get the silent treatment the whole way home
Blundix@reddit
This is the way.
Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit
Yeah. Even if you're just done telling one guy that you design the network architecture for the London Underground, when he introduces you to someone else and the someone else asks what you do, just be like "oh I'm actually a bee keeper...." right in front of the first guy, without skipping a beat 😂
Baneblade_679@reddit
A friend of mine once convinced an American Girl at a pub in London that he was a Marine Biologist who specialised in these rare creatures that live on the bottom of coral reefs. The job required him to dive down and study them, sometimes holding his breath to free dive. When she asked what they were called, he straight faced replied that they were called “Muffs”. And when she asked what his job title was he replied “Muff Diver”. She was fascinated and I was trying not to piss myself next to him.
Moist_gooch90@reddit
Having worked a job that most people found pretty cool/interesting I used to always downplay it and tell people I'm a window cleaner.
Fancy-Professor-7113@reddit
I too have a job that people always want to know loads about and by it's very nature I can't be chatting about that shit with just anybody. I say I work in a sandwich shop because I did that when I was 14 and enjoyed it very much.
MurderedByRap@reddit
Now I have to ask... What was the job?
Moist_gooch90@reddit
Window cleaner
Otherwise_Living_158@reddit
This is what I used to do in my trying-to-pull days. You can go funny/kooky ”cutlery designer for John Lewis” or really try and boost yourself with something like Fireman or rescue diver “People use the word hero, but it’s just a job like any other”
EnglishWolverine@reddit
Do this! I once went to a birthday party and a friend of mine somehow convinced half of the birthday guy’s family that he would be playing tennis at Wimbledon the following year. Something cool but one you could realistically convince people of and just have some fun with it.
nhema94@reddit
Domestic Engineering is my favourite reply
OilAdministrative197@reddit
When ever I go on a family trip my dad makes us pick jobs from a hat. He’s too cheap to pay extra for seat together. If someone tries talking to you on the plane you have to say whatever career you get in the hat and see if you can get away with it. Been a a gardener and nuclear physicist but got done on professional cyclist.
NumeroRyan@reddit
I used to do that when viewing houses with estate agents.
What do you do?
“Oh I’m a stuntman for the discovery channel”.
I then go on to tell them that you need stuntmen because on shark week, the presenters never actually went into the shark cage as it was too dangerous, so I’d do it.
Accomplished_Bake904@reddit
I design biscuit for McVities.
Tuckinator34@reddit
"A brain surgeon, eh? It's not exactly rocket science, is it?"
ihathtelekinesis@reddit
“Did they keep you late at the space centre?”
Wise_Focus_9865@reddit
Exactly - it's a boring question, have a bit of fun with it!
_youllthankmelater@reddit
What is it that you do that you want to avoid so badly?
Imperterritus0907@reddit
Because believe it or not there’s people that automatically deflect to an “oh, bless” attitude when you say you work in hospitality and the like. It’s patronising af.
callisstaa@reddit
Just own it. Say you work in Tesco or whatever and if they reply in a condescending way either laugh it off with a 'pays the bills though' or tell them to fuck off.
It's not worth being insecure about.
Imperterritus0907@reddit
Oh that’s my typical answer tbf, they still come up with a “but wouldn’t you like to do something else??”. Or even suggesting that I should move somewhere else (aka London).
callisstaa@reddit
‘Can’t all be at the top pal’ or something that strokes their ego a bit while being dismissive works.
YouGotTangoed@reddit
Ask them if they enjoy being on the low end of their tax bracket
Fancy-Professor-7113@reddit
I can vouch for this, I have a cool job I can't really discuss and I tell people I work in a sandwich shop. They're patronising af with me and say things like 'oh, but it's great as a mum you can focus on the kids'. Then me and my teenagers piss ourselves and judge them.
crooked_magpie@reddit
This is my question too. Especially if they make it so awkward by avoiding the question. It’s gotta be something cringe.
unseemly_turbidity@reddit
It could also be a complete buzz kill. Investigating child abuse cases, or something like that.
crooked_magpie@reddit
In that scenario you could say social work or police. I know someone who works in homicide they just say that and say they don’t want to talk about what they see. And that’s that
MissionLet7301@reddit
To be fair, some jobs seem like a magnet for people telling you their worldview about your job that you just do not care to hear (Teachers experience this a lot - everybody has an opinion on how teaching should be done, or wants you to confirm their belief that the kids nowadays actually are all awful subhumans and don't believe you when you tell them that you actually like teaching them).
Harvsnova3@reddit
Exactly. I unblock waste pipes (disposable vapes and underwear mostly) and replace broken shitters on trains among other jobs. If I think it's some knobhead doing a status check, I lead with that and follow up with "interesting things I have removed from waste pipes", or how a minority of passengers and traincrew are arseholes.
PeriPeriTekken@reddit
This sounds like much less of a conversation killer than "oh, I do balance sheet accounting for TediumCorp".
jimbobsqrpants@reddit
I work in IT for the tax office.
That's enough to kill any conversation
Harvsnova3@reddit
Oh balls. I need to up my game if I want to be left alone.
St_Piran@reddit
You cant leave us hanging like that... what interesting things have you removed from waste pipes??!
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
I was getting ready to type a comment about whether this was domestic or something else. Then I read the trains bit.
The idea of putting underwear or a vape down a toilet when there is a bin maybe a metre away is wild (yeah I know vapes shouldn't go in the bin either but it can't be worse than down a toilet surely?)
proaxiom@reddit
I worked in Asda in my early working life. A colleague who would have been a good 10-15 years older than me tried flushing their underwear down the toilet. I assume in an attempt to avoid embarrassment.
The staff in the clothing department once found used underwear in the aisle, which someone had clearly swapped for a clean pair they presumably weren't paying for.
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
People are bloody grim.
Though this is why I'd advocate for bins in toilets. It must be cheaper to do this than deal with the nonsense people do blocking toilets etc with soiled underwear.
Harvsnova3@reddit
When you're sat on one of our toilets, there's a bin either right in front of you or literally beside your right leg. You have to reach maybe 30cm tops. Some train passengers are a different breed. Normally alcohol is involved because the commuter trains during the day don't have this happen so often.
gotmunchiez@reddit
My parents were market traders and bought a big Victorian house and garden in the early 80s when nobody wanted them. They were keen gardeners and opened it for charity every year under the National Garden Scheme.
They were once at the stateley home of one of the organisers for an event and the lady who owned it (proper old money aristocracy) asked my parents what they did for a living. My dad was very well spoken and he always liked seeing the looks on people's faces when he told them that he was a market trader.
Anyway she was absolutely fascinated by what they did and spent a good hour talking to them. I remember her saying how nice it was talking to people who did something different because she always got stuck talking to accountants and bankers.
Theratchetnclank@reddit
I hate the conversation simply because most people don't understand my job actually is and they generally don't care because it's not that interesting to most people or when they hear i'm in the IT field they want me to fix their computer or build them a website/app for their "amazing" idea.
gotmunchiez@reddit
God that brings back painful memories. I used to work in website and software development in the early days and lost count of how many crappy website ideas I had to listen to.
Half of them ended with me saying "that already exists", and them saying "yeah, but I'd make it free to use".
claudetteandharold@reddit (OP)
What I do isn’t that embarrassing it’s just dull, and this is a crowd that finds dullness offensive I should’ve specified that Im already considering not going at this point But I am interested in people’s response
Rhesus-Positive@reddit
If it makes you feel any better, nobody actually gives a shit about you or anything about you at parties: worst case scenario, they forget you by the end of the evening. I can't remember the jobs of anybody I've spoken to at a wedding unless I then hang out with them later.
iamabigtree@reddit
Right nobody cares about the answer
iamabigtree@reddit
What can be so dull that it needs to be evaded? And can't be answered with eg "I work in accountancy. Bored out of my life tbf"
sidneylopsides@reddit
Beige compliance. You look at beige and determine if it's neutral enough.
iamabigtree@reddit
Sounds interesting
SilverstoneMonzaSpa@reddit
I think you're probably projecting your own insecurities onto other people.
Bland_Username_42@reddit
Isn’t every job dull? Unless your like a skydive instructor or something, but honestly even then doing it every day would get pretty old.
EarthMarsUranus@reddit
Hey, I'm a skydive instructor - it's definitely got its ups and downs.
Harvsnova3@reddit
My wife fell asleep most of the way down on her tandem skydive. She'd already done a lower height one for charity, so had hyped herself up for the highest jump. Didn't sleep properly for days, then as soon as the parachute opened, her eyes closed. The instructor was pissing himself because he had to wake her up to land.
Utilitarian_Proxy@reddit
Certainly most jobs need multiple routine aspects scheduled and tackled. A fortunate few people can get a support team to mop up behind them, but that's a rare luxury.
A few years ago I went self-employed to focus full-time on what was already my longtime hobby. Unfortunately my regular outgoings normally exceed my erratic earnings, but that's the creative arts industry in a nutshell. I had a decent royalties income in 2023 from work I'd done five or six years earlier - and I really needed that blip!
Harvsnova3@reddit
Go. Make your dull job sound as dull as possible. If you can deliver it in as boring and monotone voice as possible, even better.
Or. Be really passionate about the very dullest aspects if your job and speak like you're hopped up on coke or something.
Treat this crap like a game, because it is. They don't care what you do, they just don't have an original conversation in their head, so make them rue the day they asked a staple/paper clip technician "what they do". Or tell them you do OF mankini modelling. That works best if you're male, overweight and middle aged.
_youllthankmelater@reddit
Well F those guys. I met a window cleaner once, he opened up with saying he is a "visual technician". When he confessed to being a window cleaner we howled and it was a gateway to a proper funny conversation and positive way forward. I appreciate it can be intimidating but genuinely, F judgemental people.
uncle_jaysus@reddit
Feels like you’re missing something out. Many people have dull jobs. When people first meet each other, the first and obvious thing to ask is “so what do you do?” Just tell them. They almost certainly will nod and move on, or enquire further if it either interests them or they don’t understand what the job is from the job title.
Best way to deflect is to immediately ask what they do. And then talk more about that. Or move things along with a “so when you’re not working, what you into?”
That might get good results. Or they might do what 90% of people do and say “nothing much… listen to music and watch tv/films…” at which point “what music?” Or “what’s your favourite film?” Or “seen any decent tv series recently?” Etc
Personally, I hate socialising, am not naturally good at small talk and generally find it quite tedious if I’m honest (no, I’m not fun at parties), but even I’ve managed to almost have a conversation with myself right here. Stop worrying about your job. Them asking about it is to simply enable them to frame you in their mind. Just move on and talk about something else.
Randomfinn@reddit
It sounds like it is your perspective that need to change. No job is truly dull.
“I money launder for organizations you have never heard of” - accountant
“I observe a variety of people exhibiting different stages of mental illness” - retail
“I use physics to ensure the safety of the planet” - tyre change person
“I am actively working to make a positive impact on the loneliness crisis” - librarian
“I’m a consultant on the value of fibre based arts” - knitter
“I’m retired so I focus on my hobbies of park runs and Sunday brunches” - why even say what job you have, let them think you either made you money or come from money
mo7233@reddit
Tell us your job and we can tell you if it's dull or not. Believe it or not, most people have dull jobs.
Happily-Incorrect@reddit
OP: I don't want to tell people what my job is.
Everyone in this thread: TELL US THE JOB TELL US THE JOB TELL US THE JOOOOOOBBB
LordLuscius@reddit
The most interesting thing you can do is be interested.
"Oh, mines boring, I do x, what do you do?"
...
"Oh really? But if you could do anything, what would you rather be doing?"
Boom. Done. Conversation. You're liked
himit@reddit
answer with "real job, it's kinda boring but it pays for what I really like to do - hobbies xyz"
nancy-p@reddit
my job is incredibly dull so when people ask me I answer, laugh and apologise for it being so boring and ask what they do.
it’s fine to have a boring job, a lot of people do! once people know it’s not a ripe ground for interesting stories you can move onto hobbies or family or whatever else it is in your life that’s more exciting.
aaaaaaaaooooooo@reddit
Try answering as fast as possible, but asking questions back to figure out what makes the person tick, what the person is passionate about, if you want to steer the conversation that way
Hoppo94@reddit
You're over thinking this way too much. Most people have a boring job
I have the same issue, when I tell people what I do for a living it doesn't get much of a response, but it pays the bills 🤷
TheGoose995@reddit
If it’s dull then tell them and the convo will naturally move on quickly, it’s not that deep
Complex-Magazine6690@reddit
I've never met people who are anything like what you describe and I've been around all kinds of crowds (from finance and technology types through to rock musicians and tattooists). You sure you aren't just paranoid and inventing scenarios in your own head?
Born-Neighborhood505@reddit
Retail?
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
Is investment banking dull?
Alright it's not as interesting as being an intelligence officer for MI5, but I'd certainly have questions to ask an investment banker?
RPG_Rob@reddit
I'm a cleaner in an abbatoir.
_youllthankmelater@reddit
I'd want to know everything
NoFewSatan@reddit
I tell them what my job is.
claudetteandharold@reddit (OP)
Have tried this , very blunt very straightforward typically just creates awkwardness
Watchkeys@reddit
Why? Not understanding what's going on here at all. They ask you what you do, and then you answer and they create awkwrdness? How?
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
come on, you're just being obtuse. clearly this is about status and being made to feel inferior by high earning / senior working folk. you know this.
Swayfromleftoright@reddit
But it’s also a pretty fair question to ask if you’re just getting to know someone. Most people spend 40 hours a week doing their job.
I think it’s pretty fair to ask how someone spends their time if you’re introducing yourself and getting to know them
300Smelly@reddit
That had to be a joke mate. If it ain’t, just say something left field like Bradford city
Cyberdog1983@reddit
Pretty fucking boring question though if you think about it. “What is the thing you have to spend the majority of your time doing in order to not be on the street or starve, but you’d rather be doing something else if we’re honest?”
callisstaa@reddit
It's a pretty standard ice breaker tbf. Best way is just to tell them and ask them in return. If they say something interesting then ask more about it and if not say 'ahh sound' and talk about something else.
Swayfromleftoright@reddit
I think this says a lot more about how you see your own job, than about the question itself
Saw_Boss@reddit
This is just typical Reddit. Everyone is in a dead end job that they hate, right?
SunAdditional3606@reddit
Not everyone hates their job mate
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
yeah not debating that, just saying I can understand why in certain situations it creates awkwardness.
I remember going to a posh friend's party in London once and someone came over to me and opened with "sooo, Oxford or Cambridge?". Wasn't so much awkward as just a clear signal I wasn't going to stick around there for long.
callisstaa@reddit
Tbf if you're around people who are clearly wealthier than you and trying to make friends then a bit of charm and a laugh goes a long way. Being standoffish when asked basic questions and being insecure af isn't going to get you far.
BCircle907@reddit
That’s not apples to apples - opening with that kind of question is wanky in the extreme, and rightly deserves an awkward response back. Not everyone goes to uni, and there’s nothing Oxbridge twats like talking about more than Oxbridge.
Having a job is fairly universal and a good way to start a chat with a stranger
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
yeah, I don't disagree. I'm merely saying there are occasions that it is indeed a status check question. like I've said a few times now.
Swayfromleftoright@reddit
That’s fair. That question has an underlying assumption: that you must have gone to Oxford or Cambridge. Which probably comes from a place of privilege/snobbery
Even: where did you study? Has an underlying assumption that you went to university, which is sort of out of touch too.
But what do you do for work? The underlying assumption is just that you have a job. Much less of a snobby thing to ask imo
Robertinho678@reddit
Or it's just making conversation and you're over thinking it.
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
I think it's clear everyone can't understand it is either themselves very middle class or has never been the only working class person at a very middle class occasion.
Serious_Escape_5438@reddit
Haha I think my problem is I don't hang around with enough fancy, high status people. I've sometimes met people like that but not sure I've ever been the only person invited to one of their parties.
Robertinho678@reddit
I think it's clear that you're very paranoid, and I'd hate to live like you.
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
paranoid? for understanding what OP is referring to? what on earth are you talking about?
Robertinho678@reddit
If you think casual small talk is about testing status, you are paranoid.
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
but you've just ignored all the context I've given around the occasions where it could be about that? obviously it isn't always, but it very much is, sometimes. come on man.
Robertinho678@reddit
What context? I don't see any context in your replies to me
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
to other people, you're not the only person in this thread.
Robertinho678@reddit
Then yes, I have not read context you're giving in seperate threads.
callisstaa@reddit
I'm working class af and have drank with really wealthy people. Being standoffish and wierd when asked basic questions and being insecure af isn't going to get you anywhere. Best way is to lighten up a bit, have a bit of a laugh and just try to enjoy yourself. A fun and friendly person is going to be appreciated more than a closed off redditor regardless of income.
Watchkeys@reddit
I think it's clear that you are judging everybody who doesn't see things the way you do.
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
I think it's very clear you're a delicate little flower who has never experienced anything untoward xxxx
BigGrinJesus@reddit
OP is making themselves feel inferior. People ask what others do for a living because it's good conversation. Either you'll do something similar and can talk about that or you do something completely different and it's interesting. OP should try taking some pride in what they do and see how that goes.
Watchkeys@reddit
Do you often insult people for not knowing things? That's the kind of behaviour that makes people uncomfortable at parties.
I asked OP a question. Hopefully OP will answer without being unpleasant to anybody.
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
You're insulted? jesus. life must be very tough for you if you're insulted by that.
Watchkeys@reddit
I said you issued an insult, not that I was insulted by it. I don't care what you think, little pal.
Serious_Escape_5438@reddit
It's not clear to me at all, I have no idea what OP does. It could be the opposite, it would feel awkward to be a stockbroker at a party of people who work at Tesco
YouCantGiveBabyBooze@reddit
you think OP would use the term "status check" if they were concerned their status was too "high"?
TemporaryLucky3637@reddit
You are lucky if you’ve never experienced this. If you have a job perceived as lowly by the person who asks you what you do it for some reason embarrasses them and they say weird stuff back to you 😂
callisstaa@reddit
It's more likely that people do experience this but aren't affected in the same way.
TemporaryLucky3637@reddit
The commenter didn’t understand how someone would ask a question then make it awkward so I was just explaining how it could happen 😂
You’re right though some people would let it go over their heads and power through the conversation.
Watchkeys@reddit
I experienced it when I was younger and grew out of it.
OkPea5819@reddit
OnlyFans.
RPG_Rob@reddit
Oh really? My dad was an electrician, too.
CommonAware6@reddit
What are you even talking about? They've asked your job so why is it awkward when you tell them? Are you sure youre not misreading the situation and maybe struggle socially? I mean this genuinely and not in a patronising way btw
1lemony@reddit
Are you a grave digger
Serious_Escape_5438@reddit
Awkward how? Do you have an embarrassing job?
InkedDoll1@reddit
This is the case for me because I work in cancer care and all my patients are on palliative care. I will start talking about things like arranging their chemo and their prognoses and people get this sort of pained sympathy on their face. That's when I remember that these things aren't often discussed frankly in social situations. It's my everyday, but people will ask questions about what I do and then don't really want to hear the answers.
PeriPeriTekken@reddit
"Oh, er, so how exactly did you get into dildo restoration as a career?"
VentureIntoVoid@reddit
Trial and error
Milly_man@reddit
They work for MI5 and have seen everyone's naughty pics.
I_am_legend-ary@reddit
Sounds like you don’t know how a conversation should work.
EveryAnywhere@reddit
This 😂😂😂!
OP being shocked that adults are interested in what I spend the majority of your waking hours doing is just horrifying and you have to fight the urge to be openly rude is hilarious. Stop going out and talking to people, it sounds like it will be best for everyone 😂
EvilTaffyapple@reddit
Sounds like you just don’t know how to speak to people like a normal person, which came across in spades from the OP.
Fudge_is_1337@reddit
Without knowing the job hard to understand this. But the list of jobs that this would genuinely apply to in my head is very, very small
EndPsychological2541@reddit
Change your approach, don't be blunt and it'll be less awkward?
What do you actually do?
LeftCat6512@reddit
Do you work for the taxman too? That's my reason for not telling people. My other half tells people I'm a tax inspector (I'm not) but I do work for them.
Gary_Garibaldi@reddit
Pay day loan lender? I can see that causing awkwardness.
damegloria@reddit
What do you do? Is it that bad that you can't talk about it?
dennis3282@reddit
You are overthinking this.
If you don't answer you think people don't like it and want an answer.
If you answer you think it is awkward.
NoFewSatan@reddit
I can't see how.
Pristine-Toe9585@reddit
“I’ve signed an NDA, ask me in 10 years time”
tevs__@reddit
My sister's best friend's husband answers similar to this I, er, work for the foreign office but can't answer any details
Dude's blatantly a spy
cosmic_monsters_inc@reddit
If he was he'd have a better cover story ready to go.
RBisoldandtired@reddit
Yeah if you’ve ever seen interviews with former spy’s. They’re very very boring people. Nothing stand out. Boring cover jobs. Boring clothes.
teveelion@reddit
So James Bond isn't real??!!?!
RBisoldandtired@reddit
He can be real to you dammit
Many-Consideration54@reddit
That's exactly what people expect...
So I've heard.
HazePrism@reddit
I think if he were, he'd probably say he just works in "insert generic office job here". Something that'd be easy to lie about and doesn't require much specialist knowledge if someone asked you.
ByteSizedGenius@reddit
They have specific cover stories for daily life that go as far as even being paid by those organisations. Foreign Office is a classic because they will tangentially know a decent amount about the organisation.
Many-Consideration54@reddit
"I'm a fraud investigator. What do YOU do?"
yes1402@reddit
This.
Or.... I work for the government, and if I tell you what I do for them, I will have to kill you. 😂
Awkward_Limit_342@reddit
Best one 😂😂😂
Fellainiac@reddit
I hate this question. So dull, I have never once asked someone "what they do." I just palm them off by calling them boring allowing me to exit the conversation.
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
I mean, most working age people spend between a third and a half of their waking life doing or commuting for their job. It's a fairly big part of their life which, whether they enjoy it or not, means they probably have quite a bit to talk about it they're asked questions about it. I don't think anybody would suggest it should be the only topic of conversation but it's not really a bad one either.
XiiMoss@reddit
Some of the responses to this thread are just classic Reddit, like it or not jobs/work are a large part of our lives so it's completely natural for it to be a talking point with new people.
Fellainiac@reddit
I don't see it as a "classic Reddit-ism." I've got loads of mates at work, from previous jobs, I go to all the socials, but on a weekend I don't want to talk about work and those questions primarily come from a place of judgment, I don't go boozing to be assessed by my peers.
XiiMoss@reddit
No they come from a place of interest, believe it or not Strangers like to ask questions to get to know you and your work is often part of that
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
It'll be followed by a post about how nobody attends their Christmas party, despite tens of millions of people attending Christmas parties every year.
XiiMoss@reddit
God imagine forming friendships with the people you see 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and wanting to do things with them after work.
Fellainiac@reddit
Most of my best pals I met at work, and we don't talk about work when we're not at work.
gloomfilter@reddit
I toboggan.
Valuable_Pangolin813@reddit
"I spend enough time working. The last thing I want to talk about outside work... is work".
SnooMacarons9618@reddit
"I work with computers, it's not that interesting."
Icy_Attention3413@reddit
I used to tell people that I designed the nose cones on nuclear missiles and fighter aircraft. It worked an absolute treat, principally because my real job was a bit shit.
I was on a flight across Kenya and the guy next to me asked what I did, so I gave him my cover story. “Oh,” he said, “I’ve never met you, which is surprising, since we both work in the same office.”
Best_Alternative349@reddit
Relax. People are just making small talk. Just tell them or don't it's up to you. Most people don't care what you do. They are just trying to make conversation. They will likely forget it within 30 seconds anyway. Or, if you're really bothered make something up. Tell one person you're a fireman, another you work for the space agency and someone else that you flip burgers, have fun with it.
Say here's 2 truths and a lie. "I have x cool hobby, I work at y and I once did z. Have the work as a lie and leave them guessing.
xxnicknackxx@reddit
Yes, but what do you actually do?
I work in insurance, that's all I need to tell people to see their eyes glaze over and watch them change the subject quickly.
DenseRequirements@reddit
You just need to exagerate and tell white lies since they can't accept the truth.
Fun-Communication660@reddit
It also doesn't matter what they think. Its a them problem. I remember being in OPs position. I didn't start working until like super late like nearly 28.
I used feel what you feel, and would be ashamed of the unemployed answer. Especially because "I'm unemployed right now" started being followed up with ahh cool enjoy while you can what industry/line of work are you in.....that's awkward, because you can't really answer "none" or "I don't know yet"
Anyway, can't believe its only been ten years but a few years ago I had the OPPOSITE problem. I had to stop asking people "what do you do for work" as I realised I just wanted it as an excuse for me to brag about how cool and important my job is, and how rich and successful I am. Who gives a fuck? It was loser behaviour. Now its just a stock response depending on audience...just one word "engineer" or "I'm in life sciences"....not going on about how you are a director or how you started your own business. Why would anyone care u less its GENUINELY interesting?
Just think of it for what it is, small talk, that can be countered with ANYTHING actually interesting. They dont want to hear about your new clients anyway! It is at least marginally more interesting to show them the stitches you have from falling down the fire escape at work.
Long winded, I suppose the point I'm trying to reinforce is for someone coming out the other side of that question, your instincts are correct. It means nothing, and you are making it a big deal because of the insecurities.
It feels like you might have no place to criticise. But you can.
blumpkinator2000@reddit
If they ask, tell them what your job is, then immediately pivot back with "And how about you?". The second they answer that, ask them a question about hobbies, travel or whatever - anything normal that isn't work related.
Don't avoid the question, because it'll only make you look ashamed, evasive or unable to make small talk. STEER the conversation instead, to a subject that you feel more neutral or excited about.
Or... you could just not go. But that's not going to help you much the next time this situation comes up.
Slothjitzu@reddit
Dodging questions in a casual setting is weird.
Most people asking what you do aren’t performing a status check, they’re making conversation.
For those that are performing a status check, who gives a shit? Either you pass it and everything is fine or you don’t, and they’re not the type of people you want to be friends with anyway.
justaneditguy@reddit
Well said. I tend to forget to ask them what they do afterwards and feel like a dick the next day. But TBF the conversation usually flows naturally on yo other things
claudetteandharold@reddit (OP)
Yeah you’re right it doesn’t matter that much and in my heart of hearts I don’t really give a shit There’s just too many middle class parties I’ve been to where people like myself of little professional standing are subtly made to feel bad about it
No-Championship9542@reddit
What qualifies professional standing?
wtfylat@reddit
This is what makes me think it's a them issue. Why would you spend time with people you've got nothing in common with so often?
MonkeyHamlet@reddit
Maybe stop going to parties full of arseholes?
mrbezlington@reddit
Friend, just say you are an actuarial assessor and people will be instantly bored. It's middle class and office enough that status check Berks will go away. It's specialised enough that seniority snobs will shut up. And rare enough that you'll likely never meet another one.
Hookton@reddit
Are you sure other people are judging or are you projecting a bit here? I know the feeling of being a middle-aged burger-flipper in a room full of professionals, but I reckon people care less than you imagine.
Mediocre-Award-9716@reddit
You've made an entire post asking people how to answer the most bog standard question in the world.
You've admitted you don't do anything embarrassing.
You give a MASSIVE shit about this. No idea why but don't lie to yourself.
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
I think this might be a you issue, bud. They are probably just trying to make conversation and find common ground. It's really unlikely they are trying to make you feel some kind of way. Id argue most people don't even think about "class" but perhaps that's just my circle?
PeriPeriTekken@reddit
Only people I've met who care are doing stuff like top end finance and are assessing whether you're worth networking with.
Your average routine middle class workers (lawyers, accountants, civil servants, random management etc) are mostly thrilled to encounter someone whose job is less boring/a bit more pointful than their own.
Waste_Locksmith_4299@reddit
Just say something that makes them be quiet. Like "importing industrial glass".
Pay-Perfect@reddit
"I play a millionaire at parties! At least I'd... like to."
noileum@reddit
Just say “I work in ‘insert industry that your job is in’ but I don’t want to bore you with the details” and move convo onto hobbies etc
So if you work the tills at Maccy D’s just say you handle financial transactions for a large restaurant chain
Arefue@reddit
If you aren't comfortable disclosing what you do just apply vagueness to your sector.
Johnny-Alucard@reddit
I fucking hate it when people talk about what they do for a job at parties. Are their lives so dull that even at a time they could think or talk about anything all they can think of is work?
I've had an interesting career and have had lots of famous people as colleagues and clients but why the hell should I be made to talk about what I do for money in my leisure time?
A good option round where I live is saying that you can't really talk about it and everyone will think you work at the big donut full of spies on the edge of town
bsnimunf@reddit
Work can be interesting admittedly I've never come across some one who seems particularly interested in talking about their job and I'm certainly not interested in talking about mine but I'm certain some people are out their chatting jobs like a linked in social.
knighty1981@reddit
what do you do?
I think it's more about how you feel about it and that showing through than the actual job
I tell people I make dog food, if they ask questions I tell them it's tripe/chicken/beef etc.. get the bits in mince them up and portion them off, it's all stinky stuff
I don't tell people I own a dog food factory
and fuck anyone who judges
why would I waste my time with them?
elalmohada26@reddit
As much as “what do you do?” can be a status check, it’s also an easy filler question used to plug an awkward gap in a conversation with a stranger.
Get ahead of it by asking them a different question first and being engaged with their answer, meaning the conversation requires no fillers.
Anonimisimo@reddit
I have genuine interest in the details of other’s occupations. Like how do Armitage Shanks press launch their new products and do arms manufacturers have safety recalls. I love finding out about other people’s jobs and what they entail.
Smidday90@reddit
I tell people I’m an accountant, that usually kills the conversation. They usually follow up with either “you must be good at maths” i reply not really we use excel or calculator and its basic add and subtract
Or something to do with tax and then tell them not that type of accountant.
If you want to avoid talking about it tell them your an accountant in a financial institute looking at derivatives/controls/forex/ whatever and you’ll get a blank stare and move on.
If they push just make it up even accountants wouldn’t be able to follow
redish6@reddit
You know this is a social interaction and not an interrogation right?
If you don’t want to talk to people don’t go to parties 🤷♂️
Smidday90@reddit
OP seemed like they wanted advice and I’m very social but I’ve noticed nothing kills the conversation quicker than telling someone I’m an accountant. Its boring and nobody really understands it
yes1402@reddit
What if the person also works in that industry, and starts a conversation about the latest trend or calculations or derivatives. You know, the thing everyone talked about at work this week
Smidday90@reddit
I’ll be honest if its not directly related to my work then I’d have no clue what they’re talking about unless it was something I read about outside of work.
AttitudeSimilar9347@reddit
Nothing beats seeing 2 accountants meet at a party and start swapping Excel shortcuts LOL
damegloria@reddit
Why don't you just tell them the truth?
Smidday90@reddit
That is the truth 😂
damegloria@reddit
Ohhhhh
EfficiencyRecent4528@reddit
God yes, the tax thing, I just say that I last studied tax in the 90’s but I’m happy to give free advice based on info that’s 30 years out of date.
alex21dragons@reddit
Tell them you work in insurance. That's usually boring enough to stop any follow up questions.
Farscape_rocked@reddit
I was once asked what I do for a job at a party and my friend said "He's a kitten squeezer. He squeezes all the juice out of kittens." There was no follow up question.
gbfeszahb4w@reddit
OP works retail. This is relevant to this discussion.
Desperate_Divide_988@reddit
Why wouldn’t I tell them what I do? Perfectly normal small talk.
f-godz@reddit
Stay in the kitchen.
Glad-Pomegranate-831@reddit
Ice sculptor was my go-to job in these situations
True-Abalone-3380@reddit
Or perhaps they are interested in other people and what they do, it's interesting learning about other careers. It is also standard small-talk, along with the weather and the price of fish.
behemuffin@reddit
"I'm not allowed to talk about it."
That leaves a range of options open. Most likely, you do something dull and corporate that is subject to massive NDAs, but you might be a spy, and ninja assassin is an outside possibility.
Steelyeyedmissleman7@reddit
"I'm a consultant on _____ matters."
Bank teller: 'I'm a consultant on financial matters."
Office admin:" I'm a consultant on organizational matters."
Teacher: "I'm a consultant on educational matters."
smallpotatoes2019@reddit
I'm a consultant on murdering people matters.
Thanks, this helps.
simonps@reddit
Does that mean you work in health care? Or perhaps universal credit?
smallpotatoes2019@reddit
Interesting take. It's actually. Hope that clears it up.
Steelyeyedmissleman7@reddit
"I'm a consultant on population control matters."
smallpotatoes2019@reddit
Thanks, that helps.
fannyabdabs@reddit
Dolphin trainer is my stock answer
Commandrews@reddit
My dad used to be a window cleaner, but would tell everyone he’s a transparent wall engineer
WorhummerWoy@reddit
"As little as I can get away with" is my stock answer.
OilAdministrative197@reddit
Yeah go I much prefer spending my time doing _hobby_.
Second_Guess_25@reddit
What's a great swerve. You could be a politician 🤣👍
Resident_Ebb_9354@reddit
Love this
iphonedyou@reddit
So much this!
Familiar-Bug2664@reddit
100% correct answer.
SpartacusUK@reddit
Piano tuner for whore houses……and before you ask, no I don’t do trade for trade
CoffeeKeyDog@reddit
Say what you do and say it with chest.
You’ve got to own who you are as a person.
Don’t be ashamed about what you do. A job is a job.
And if you want to move on to bigger and better things eventually, then do.
None of this matters. We are all sacks of meat walking around a floating rock that’s hurtling through space around the sun.
But yes, I agree, asking people what they do for a living is crass.
Logan_No_Fingers@reddit
So onlyfans?
mrbill1234@reddit
Pornographer
jeminar@reddit
IT.
No one wants to know more.
L26261@reddit
Tell them you're the best toilet cleaner in town, you don't like to go on about it otherwise you'd end up talking about toilets all night !
Joking aside, I'm an own it sort of person, it's just small talk, they probably hate their jobs anyway.
Nervous_Difficulty_6@reddit
Going by the fact you’ve failed to mention what your job role is, I’m assuming you have insecurities surrounding your job role. Or, you’re actually unemployed and you’re insecure about that.
If you do indeed have a job, and you feel somewhat insecure, you shouldn’t. Sounds quite easy, but you shouldn’t feel ashamed of what you do, just because you’re amongst ‘conventionally middle class’ folk, who may be rattling on about their ‘finance role in the City’
It is typically part of a conversation starter when you meet someone new though, so it’s not odd for anyone to actually ask. However, I couldn’t think of anything fucking worse than going to a party and just talking about work.
At a party, I’m there to drink, not work. I’d just simply swerve the individuals who make work their whole personality.
Dangerous-Regret-358@reddit
I don’t think it’s about that, actually. I honestly think the less people know about us the more power we keep for ourselves.
Accomplished-Fix3841@reddit
But... what about making human connections? Relationships, friendships, etc?
FeedFrequent1334@reddit
Those can be made and maintained completely separately from your work life or conversations with strangers about your work life.
DenseRequirements@reddit
I don't blame OP for having these insecurities as I have met software engineers, senior accountants and even finance people who see work as a bit part of their life while my job is to input data and deal with discrepancies which is enough for me to do stuff outside work but it means nothing to them.
I also swerve from people who have no personality outside work and showing off to prove it's worth something. Must be boring talking about financial markets and what's going on in the news 24/7.
Nervous_Difficulty_6@reddit
100%, there’s people like that out there. Gone 5pm though mate, work is a distant memory. You’ll never find me working overtime or working over the weekend.
These same people are the people who also live their life on LinkedIn. Some of them seem to be the most insufferable individuals ever.
DenseRequirements@reddit
Yeah I have noticed that. I am gone at 5pm and will work overtime when getting paid extra. Funny thing is that these people earn double my salary but also work double my hours so essentially we make the same per hour. I would rather work an evening shift stacking shelves or wokring on the tills if I need more money.
I have friends who I don't even know what they do for work but know their interests and personality.
Mysterious-One1055@reddit
So I know you don't like the question....but what do you actually do?
If we have that context we might help you framing the response?
Zealousideal_Fold_60@reddit
Why are you going to the party if you don’t want to have conversations?
InformationHead3797@reddit
Who wants to have conversations about their job?
Logan_No_Fingers@reddit
Politics are a live wire right now, I guess if you are desperate you can go "So, the whole Israel / Palestine thing, thats something". Or fall back on "Global warming am I right?"
You can't even go with "The problem with Arsenal is...."
So job it is
NotASockPuppet88@reddit
I personally like to respond with "im an astronaut in training for a top secret mission to stop an ateroid from hitting earth"
RichyWoo@reddit
Have plenty of leading questions loaded up into your back pocket to steer the conversation to places you want it to go, for example...
Outside of work how do you like to unwind?
Did you grow up around here, or did you travel from somewhere completely different?
How do you know ((The Hosts)) and do you have any funny storys about them?
What would you be doing right now if you were not here?
MelodicAd2213@reddit
Just tell them you’re independently wealthy
Or use the ‘if I told you I’d have to kill you’ line
sneddsdead@reddit
Just say I'm here to forget about work.
11theman@reddit
What is it with UK subs and inability to navigate basic social situations? Tell them what you do and move the conversation on if you don’t like discussing your work.
PaulAllensAlt@reddit
I’m convinced half the people in these subs must be on the spectrum
hairybastid@reddit
You've just described 75% of Reddit users.
QuestNetworkFish@reddit
Tell them you're an accountant
Nobody asks you questions if you say you're an accountant
MelodicAd2213@reddit
Was thinking same : )
Vladamir_pootinn@reddit
Either just lie, tell the truth or a random comment. E.g- ‘I’m not allowed to talk about it’
People won’t actually care what you do if they’re drinking.. if they don’t like you it’s because of you
Hot_College_6538@reddit
"I work in IT" - this has never started a conversation, no follow up questions ever.
Then move on to ask about any holidays they've been on, you'll see a look of gratitude in their eyes.
Theratchetnclank@reddit
Surely you get the occasional "Take a look at my shit laptop"
Hot_College_6538@reddit
At a party ? not so much. Family members sure.
"not that type of IT unfortunately" tends to work.
deadeyes1990@reddit
Honestly I’d just answer it quickly and then move on. “I do X. It’s fine, it pays the bills. What do you do when you’re not working?” Most people are only asking because it’s an easy opener, not because they’re judging you. And if they are judging you off your job title, that’s quite a handy way of finding out they’re not worth much of your time.
elvisonaZ1@reddit
So..............what is it that you do?
PureString@reddit
I go with a version of this from the film Aurthur
Arthur Bach: I race cars, play tennis, and fondle women, BUT! I have weekends off, and I am my own boss.
Exotic_Jicama1984@reddit
Tell them you sleep with prostitutes and sometimes kill them. To mix it up, you occasionally kill them first and then sleep with them.
Then stare at them and ask "Have you ever fancied having a go?".
Worldly-Bobcat-48@reddit
If asking what you do is a classic British status check, then isn’t it possible that answering with your hobbies would imply that you don’t work which in turn would imply an upper class origin with inherited wealth? If you lean into it as a power move, that might shut the middles up—but I suppose if the rest of your personal affect doesn’t read as plausibly posh it might be a hard sell.
Handsom_modest_Dan@reddit
So I can’t actually tell people what I do as it’s classified 😂 Only my wife , father and best friend know what I do and where I work as they are my emergency contacts .
Anyone else I just say “classified”
Dangerous-Web-1962@reddit
years ago i told people that i was Bass Guitarist in an obscure one hit wonder band.....pre Internet so nobody could check.....
-secretsocietytattoo@reddit
If I tell anyone I'm a tattooist, I get endless bollocks "I'm gonna get this sleeve with X y z.." "when I've got money I'm booking in for this that and the other" So I just say I do art
hairybastid@reddit
Well my LinkedIn has me listed as an astronaut, working for NASA, so I describe myself as a "Spaceman".
For obvious reasons I don't get invited to many (middle class) parties.
Minimum_Salad9372@reddit
Why, what kind of estate agent are you?
AccomplishedPlant697@reddit
I usually say "freelance" and then surface level stuff on whichever seem best suited to the clientele I'm sat with
sigma914@reddit
Financial consultant for an independently wealthy individual.
(I retired early)
restlessecstacy@reddit
it’s not a status check it’s just basic small talk and a standard question to break the ice
tell us your job and we can tell you a nice normal response for a group environment
crabcrabcam@reddit
Why wouldn't a response about hobbies be better though, especially when it's phrased in the more upper class way of "So what do you do?"
restlessecstacy@reddit
it may come across as odd because that’s not what the question means - it’s short for what do you do for work, and most native english speakers will know this. but obviously people can do what they like!
crabcrabcam@reddit
I know it's what the question means when certain people say it, but it's always rubbed me the wrong way that what I do is work, not the lifelong passions and hobbies that I go to work to keep doing.
It's a shit question for me because I'll work dead end boring jobs my whole life, I can enjoy them, but I don't want to pretend to care about peoples jobs, I want to hear someone tell me about their antique model train collection, and if you don't want to do that, I'll go talk to someone who will. (and I don't personally care about trains)
burdman444@reddit
It's a normal conversation to have stop over analysing. You spend around of 1/3 time work it's a normal thing to be inquisitive about.
BigRedS@reddit
It often is - when someone asks me what I do I start off by telling them about my hobbies, and when I ask them what they do I half-expect them to tell me about theirs.
misterriz@reddit
Say you're a binman.
Beautiful_Path_3519@reddit
My son's mate is a police officer. His stock answer to this question is "i sell weed"
Dangerous-Web-1962@reddit
Dolphin Trainer in town for a symposium....
Suspicious_Skill_558@reddit
I'm from a lower class background and worked in retail/call centres and also felt this really weird shift when with boyfriends London friends, all middle to upper class with lawyer parents etc and yeah felt weird how much they talked about work. I've now got a 'career' type job and I'm conscious of not sounding like a twat but honestly I think 70% of the people who ask don't mean anything by it they're just making small talk :) don't overthink it and just say what you do with pride, it only feels off putting when someone feels cagey about their answers
halen2024@reddit
Either “my job is the least interesting thing about me”, and then proceed to talk about something else, or if you really don’t want engage, try “I’m a cleaner”. That shuts the conversation down VERY quickly!
perry24@reddit
I'm an accountant, it works similarly, no one really wants to ask questions about it (except for other accountants!)
AllegedDoorstep@reddit
Why would saying you're a cleaner shut the conversation down?
Thick-Conclusion-416@reddit
Just say “insurance”. No one ever says “Wow that’s so cool, tell me more!”
PanicStil@reddit
Not sure why people are so offended by this question. I’m genuinely interested in what people do.
NothingButSquids@reddit
It'd be easier to offer suggestions if we knew what you job was, but anyhoo, it's possible to present pretty much any job in a positive light, or focus on what you really want to do ("I'm working in X until Y takes off"). But I suspect people aren't judging you as much as you think.
Delicious_Bet_6336@reddit
Job. Commute. Upcoming holiday destinations. Phone contract. Weather.
These are the go to bland topics when speaking to someone unknown…
StaticUsernamesSuck@reddit
No no no, it's clearly snobby people trying to demean OP.
sc_BK@reddit
Did you see the game last night?
BrightonBaby@reddit
The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in
Prestigious_Sand1978@reddit
I just say I am self employed. If asked to expand I say social media.
No_Constant_1026@reddit
You read Reddit all day
Prestigious_Sand1978@reddit
Well I do 😂 but no I have a YouTube channel.
Laylelo@reddit
What’s it about?
Boomalla@reddit
Just say you work for HMRC
over-it2989@reddit
Underwater welder. Or just tell them quickly/or just your industry and move on to focusing on their job instead of
PaulaDeen21@reddit
I mean, I just answer the question.
StaticUsernamesSuck@reddit
Also how tf is this question a status check??
It's just asking a simple question as a way to try and have something to talk about with a stranger you just met.
Christ, OP, grow some social skills...
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
I sell kitchens, I just tell people I work in sales.
If someone’s gonna judge my job I don’t really care about being friends with them.
Had similar about 6-7 years ago, wife’s cousins new girlfriend was a snobby cow.
We had just bought a 2 bed starter house, this was all she knew about us, due to her boyfriend asking about our new house.
“Oh didn’t you want to stretch to a 3 bed” “I want a 4 bed I’d find a 2 bed too cramped” “I’m an admin at a solicitors I always feel sorry for the people buying small houses” “I suppose it makes sense when you get a better job you can always move up to a bigger one”
I was ignoring it and acting civil but I bit hard at the last one “I cba with the cock waving anymore, we earned 80k between us last year,
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
Chips // shoulder
Comfortable_Love7967@reddit
Yer your right, I bit wayyy to hard, I should have just told her to mind her own business
Chance-Bread-315@reddit
Incredibly awkward to try and swerve it. You've just gotta let it happen and then as soon as you've got their answer when you ask back you can do the classic 'ughh how come we always end up talking about work at parties! Have you been listening to any good music lately?*'
*insert open ended question about something you'd actually like to talk about
Honestly the job question comes up as small talk because almost every adult will have an answer whereas not so many people have a defined hobby they can chat about (a lot of people just spend their down time watching tv or at the pub).
pjwlondon@reddit
Actually, once A Very Senior Person in the organisation I worked for (whose way of working I didn't particularly like or respect - you always had the feeling there was some hidden agenda in anything he asked about) said something about spending WW2 working in the Pay Corps. It was only years later that I learnt he'd been at Bletchley.
Bifanarama@reddit
Worked with a couple of people in the past who always made a point of never having their photo taken at corporate events.
premium_bawbag@reddit
Say something thats vague but also something that people have an idea of what it is
I tell people I’m an audio engineer and they think I’m constantly working on gigs and things. In reality I sit in an office each day doing other things with audio, or in a server room troubleshooting and configuring after audio over IP networks. Still an audio engineer!
gonzo_in_argyle@reddit
"I work in" without saying what I do.
If it's just a polite conversation starter, or they're not actually interested, the answer doesn't really matter.
If they're interested, then they have something to go on, and if they're just status checking, that becomes obvious and I dip out of the conversation.
BathFullOfDucks@reddit
I tell people I work at the jaffa cake factory. I put the orange bit in.
Agsjenabhsduma@reddit
Some time ago I went through a short period of claiming unemployment. I used to tell people I worked for the government 🤷😂
Pristine_Health_2076@reddit
Actually that’s genius, I’m keeping this in my pocket for the right time.
I usually say “as little as possible” as a deflection but it depends on the crowd/ how much you care about their approval I suppose.
I am chronically ill/ disabled so I guess a long time employee of the DWP 😅🫠
Leapimus_Maximus@reddit
"I"m a professional thief"
"Im a jigalow for wealthy cougars."
"Im a jigalow for wealthy old actors."
"I kill people for money"
"Im in the import/export buisness. " * taps nose*
"I just doss about really."
TrifectaOfSquish@reddit
I'm honest about it it either kills the line of enquiry or depending on the person makes them follow up with a lot more questions
Zestyclose-Turn-3576@reddit
Tell them you are living off the royalties of the "We Buy Any Car" jingle.
mhoulden@reddit
A friend used to tell people he worked as an actuary. He didn't, but it stopped supplementary questions.
LargeParcelExpected@reddit
Anyone else busting to know what OPs actual job is?😅
CuteAssociate4887@reddit
Well I'm a plasterer so I usually ending up working for these people somewhere down the line after they find that out so I just tell it how it is,that and all that jazz doesn't really bother me.
vientianna@reddit
I’m a type A blue, so to me it seems an obvious and straightforward question. The job you do is so telling about your personality, your interests, your communication preferences. Someone answering accountant compared to freelance abstract dancer is going to open up completely different avenues of conversation. I’ve never quite understood how people can spend 50% of their waking lives doing something but then be so against talking about it. And if it’s that bad you don’t want to talk about it, might be time for a new job
Logical_Bake_3108@reddit
Well...what DO you do? 😜
Adam-West@reddit
Just say ‘oh typical boring office job but im more interested in insert hobby here’.
I ask people what they do not as a status check but because it’s an easy way to start a conversation. If somebody responds that they are an Amazon delivery driver it doesn’t make me think they’re low status, it just makes me have to come up with another question to ask to figure out what we’re going to talk about. So offering up another conversation topic is a win win for both of you.
SuperDinkle406@reddit
I used to swerve it by saying I was "an undertaker", hoping it would kill the conversation, but then at one dinner party it went all wrong. Really badly wrong.
I now just mumble and walk away.
BrightonBaby@reddit
How did it go wrong?
Myerla@reddit
I mean...that's quite a unique job, more likely to make people ask questions about the inner workings of dealing with the dead.
petemorley@reddit
Did they start asking you about that time you threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table?
busbybob@reddit
Just tell them....
Pristine_Health_2076@reddit
I say “as little as possible” because it either makes people laugh, or they are judgey types who subsequently will leave me alone.
There is probably a better way, but telling people I don’t know well or at all I am chronically ill is not something I like doing anymore. Too many people don’t understand.
Sometimes I say I am an artist because I am. Depends on the crowd and if I feel like they’re going to ask a load of follow ups about how much money it brings in.
loulabelle20@reddit
Just say something like "its a confidential, I am not permitted to discuss my job" If people keep asking tell them to respect your boundaries
AWingedVictory1@reddit
Say you are a writer. Technical writing that is very specific You don’t have to mention that means updating Reddit, whilst writing email and sending teams messages all day long.
CarlosFlegg@reddit
I would hope not, writing and specifics do not seem to be a particular strong point of theirs.
jaymanmk@reddit
This is a hot take of mine!!! I don’t care what people do generally, I normally turn this into “what’s your 5-9” type situation. Gets people talking about hobbies instead
vipros42@reddit
I tell them my job and rarely get any follow up questions because people mostly want to talk about themselves. Some of what I do is pretty interesting, and the big picture is quite interesting but I don't feel like I'm missing out by not talking about it.
Unless someone has a particularly interesting job I don't really want to hear about it. The only one of my mates who has anything that is not tedious to hear about in some detail is a DS in the police.
Ok-Humor-5672@reddit
Just say the industry, then if they keep pushing just say I'm here to relax not network
likeyournamebutworse@reddit
I'm sorry, im not allowed to talk about what I do for a living.
Guilty-Movie-3727@reddit
I tell people I am an IT consultant, mainly because I am, but they stop asking about my work very quickly after that, with the sometimes exception of a vague description of a problem they are having with their PC.
Find a boring job and lie. Have a little knowledge about the job to answer a banal follow up question, and the conversation usually moves on.
huwareyou@reddit
Honestly, I think most people ask it because they don’t know what to ask a new person and it seems like a failsafe question that won’t embarrass them.
AdministrativeShip2@reddit
Spreadsheet, slideshow.
That's what a huge amount of office jobs boil down to.
AllKnowingEK@reddit
Redditor learns the art of conversation
Boldboy72@reddit
you could say you're a diesel fitter at a knicker factory.
They make the knickers, you try them on and say "diesel fitter" and out to the shops they go
Nevernonethewiser@reddit
"That's classified."
Or "I live off my investments."
One is a lie, the other is technically true, you invest time and effort into making a living.
Just lie to these yuppies. It doesn't matter.
Ok_One5265@reddit
I love this! I'm definitely going to use the "I live off my investments" response. Thanks!
ConsciousRoyal@reddit
I’m a consultant for a government agency, and I’d love to talk about my job but I have signed a Non Disclosure Agreement, and legally I can’t. Tell me more about your job.
vibrant_squirrel@reddit
You just said what you do?
vibrant_squirrel@reddit
Jost say porn
Dull-Mathematician45@reddit
I make it as boring and uninteresting as possible to avoid all follow-ups. If you can make it sound like boring drudgery the other person might get embarrassed for asking the question. "I manage paperwork for truck shipments", or "I review purchase orders for correctness, sometimes I compare invoices to the purchase orders".
DeadRockstar123@reddit
‘Space cowboy’ and just leave it at that …
LeftyTimStoutheart@reddit
Nut what if someone calls him Maurice?
Davski88@reddit
Or maybe someone might think he's the gangster of love
IrrelevantPiglet@reddit
Followed by taking up all the room on the sofa and shouting "yeehaw!"
Silent_Lighthaus@reddit
It's not a status check, it's a compatibility check. And it's completely normal. There's a few people that might not want to talk about your hobbies because that means they might have to talk about theirs (or their lack of).
If your goal is to deflect - this might be why they strictly talk about work as they are creating a professional boundary with you as they could be picking up on that. Self deprecation humour isn't as funny as I thought it was either so I stopped doing it with professional crowds.
Middle class people are typically more interested in work/career and building a life (from what I've experienced anyway) - so I think they just want to know what it is you're doing too.
I think owning it is fine, honestly. I'd rather talk to someone who is just themselves than someone who gives an uncertain vibe - we pick up on these things as people. Just try to be polite and don't be the drunkest there. If you're not feeling it it is totally acceptable to leave early after a couple hours.
TheD0rkL0rd@reddit
I've been travelling Ireland. In Cork I got a sweet bargain deal on a five star hotel that was definitely a few rings up the social ladder from where I usually lurk.
Decided whenever I went the bar and when anyone asked me what my job was I'd make something up. Different each time. Jobs included Sex Toy manufacturer, the UK's largest manure salesman, Diplomatic liaison for Ghana, vague government role I couldn't disclose (definitely not a spy), sold my company and it's technology is what Onlyfans is now built on, Alpacas (Refused to elaborate), was in a band that became inexplicably famous in Moldova in the late 90's.
Was fun. Some people saw through me straight away but were happy to play along. Only one seemed affronted by it.
BrewtallyCozy@reddit
Just say a random job and stick to it. If they don’t know you outside of the party it doesn’t matter. Just don’t tell them a company incase they go “this person works there too” just say you’d rather keep that information to yourself.
I went to my boyfriend’s mums 60th birthday party at the start of the month. Loads of people asked what I do. I explained my job, but I made myself sound extremely important and like I was high up. In reality I’m really not, but these people will never know 🤷♀️
iOmgTom@reddit
You've got to at least say what you do, surely
signol_@reddit
I used to work in admin for the DWP. Boring stuff, just filing things in alphabetical order searching for other files for pension applications. When people asked, I'd often say "I work for the British government" and leave it there..
wyrditic@reddit
I mostly just send emails.
GlitchingGecko@reddit
Tell them you came into some money and you're exploring your options at the moment.
If they want to continue the conversation, they'll have to move on to another subject.
uberprodude@reddit
I think it's less of a status question (most of the time) and more an attempt to network. Some people are just never off the clock
Rude-Possibility4682@reddit
Tell them you invented Tippex.
kwangomango@reddit
Tell them you're a 'penguin picker-upper'.
Simpy158@reddit
Well what the hell do you do? It’s obviously a status check and that’s the crowd you’re in. If someone was dodging the question and emphasising hobbies I’d definitely think they were unemployed 😂 And being an unemployed adult obviously isn’t great unless you’re seeking employment and if that’s the case then why are you embarrassed? People get made redundant or are between jobs all the time. The fact that you can’t own what’s happening in your life instead of deflecting is what is putting people off.
LatentF@reddit
Honestly if its a dark humour crowd I say I get shafted daily in return for fun coupons. If they press I just tell them my actual job
Routine__Trip@reddit
OP needs to tell us their actual occupation so we can make it sound phenomenal.
Alert_Ad_5750@reddit
What’s wrong with telling people what your job is?
People are just trying to make conversation and that’s an easy one to start with people and an interesting way to learn about one another/what said person is doing with a majority of their time.
You can just ask the same question back if you find talking about your own job boring and lean in to finding out more about the other person instead.
If you can elaborate why you dislike being asked this so much then the comment section may be able to be a lot more helpful?
fussyfella@reddit
I am retired but inevitably if I say that a "what did you do before you retired?" gets asked still. My usual response is to say "I worked for companies people think it cool to hate but most have not got a clue what they are talking about". It sometimes generates interesting conversations, sometimes people just look weirdly and move on.
My wife (a mostly retired doctor) says "I consult on how to commit the perfect murder", by which she refers to how she works with quite a few authors of mysteries and does indeed advise them on murders as well as other medical matters.
CreativeAdeptness477@reddit
"Do what I want m8."
MJ-Franklin@reddit
I haven't been to a party in like, several years. I just avoid everyone full stop.
Long-Wash7180@reddit
I just tend to tell people I deal with horrible stuff (I do) and would they like to hear about the time that blah blah blah happened (judge reaction and walk off chuckling)
ApeWrinkles95@reddit
Sometimes it's a status check but most of the time it's conversation. Stop making it weird
Federal_Tone1260@reddit
Yeah people are probably just interested in what you do 40 hours a week. It’s about getting to know someone by getting to know how they spend their time. And it’s easy to just answer and then move on from the question eg “I’m a …. what about you” and then move on.
R_Spc@reddit
I've never ever heard anyone suggest that it's a status check, it's literally one of the first things everyone asks everyone they don't know because it's an easy conversation starter.
I guess there probably are some snobs who use it that way, but 99% are just wanting to chat, nothing more.
jrbp@reddit
Say you're a bin man and then proceed to distance yourself from anyone who treats you differently after learning this "fact" about you.
GMN123@reddit
Pretty sure everyone knows bin men are loaded these days
jlb8@reddit
"Does jerking off and playing runescape count?"
AWingedVictory1@reddit
Just say. Oh I own the company you work out.
Temporary-Zebra97@reddit
Why would I swerve them? I have had some lucrative work directly because of those questions, and have also sent work other peoples way.
Build your network people.
quite_acceptable_man@reddit
"I work in IT"
And if they ask more just say "oh I'm just a Civil Service drone, nothing particularly exciting"
And if they ask more just say "oh, just boring government stuff really, but it pays the bills".
They will come to the conclusion that you work for GCHQ/MI5/MI6 and stop asking, at which point you bring up hobbies etc.
Or you could tell them what you actually do for a living...
girlelectric1@reddit
I feel this is such a UK thing, the need to define themselves or someone else by their career. In Barcelona, I don't get this as much and people are more interested in hobbies and what people are doing after work/weekends.
Impossible_Bag8052@reddit
Tell them you are a Gardner .
Life_Friendship_7928@reddit
What is your job, out of curiosity?
nithanielgarro@reddit
I used to say "I can't say" followed by a very deadpan straight face.
That makes the rest of the evening far more fun watching them squirm thinking you might be James Bond
Other times I've just made up ridiculous stuff.
Have fun with it if you don't want to say.
Sweagers@reddit
I'd rather it be known that I do only fans feet content than have people think I'm pretending to be a secret agent.
aliceinlondon@reddit
Nobody thinks you might be James Bond when you say that, to be honest it just comes across like you are ashamed of what your job is. It is quite normal to make small talk by asking what somebody's job is, nobody is trying to catch you out or belittle you.
No_Sugar8791@reddit
I live in Cheltenham, home to GCHQ. Since they employ 10,000 from the towns 100,000 population, it is extremely common for someone to answer 'I can't tell you'. We all know to ask no further questions.
aliceinlondon@reddit
Likely not applicable to the commenter I was responding to.
White_Swiss@reddit
Why wouldn't you just be honest? Answer in a brief and clear manner, maybe add that it's super boring and move on to a different topic
Smoothest-of-Gooches@reddit
I usually just tell people my wife and I do OnlyFans. Completely deadpan.
SlightlyIncandescent@reddit
Much reddit advice is to tell people none of your business, I don't want to be defined by what I do but in the real world the fact is that makes you look weird and sort of argumentative.
Without lying you can make it sound better than it is if you want. I could accurately describe my job as either a maintenance technician for specialist medical equipment or a cleaner. I prepare hospital beds and mattresses to be used again so there are maintenance and electrical checks but its mostly decontamination (cleaning)
londongas@reddit
Ask people what they do for fun
Or tell them what you do for fun
SeaIntelligent4504@reddit
Exactly this.
Round_Grand_4716@reddit
Tell us what you do and we can come up with a way to make it sound interesting.
I once met a guy who said he worked picking up penguins, as when the planes fly overhead they look up and up and up and they topple over, so he had to put the right.
If you're not going to see these people again and there will be booze, just lie or be vague
kinginnorth88@reddit
Why am I so intrigued to what OP does!?!?
Also - I have a dull job and usually go with my job title, then follow up by saying “ it’s boring but pays the bills” then deflect to them. Works every time
JohnLef@reddit
"I don't work." and give a big comical wink. Refuse to answer further questions.
Competitive_Test6697@reddit
Answer differently to each group? Who cares. I'll be an investment banker at start of night and recetly retired due to a family inheritance by the end.
claudetteandharold@reddit (OP)
It certainly helps I’m already a retired investment banker with an inheritance which you might have guessed 😜
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
Originally when I read your question I assumed you worked a minimum wage job and we're concerned about being judged by middle class white collar workers. I was going to suggest just owning it, not that there's anything to own really. It's a job, it doesn't define you. And there's nothing inheritly better about higher paid jobs.
If you're a retired investment banker I'd have thought the class or income elements wouldn't even come into play. "I retired a couple of years ago but before that I worked in investments.", would surely put you on a similar 'status' as people still working in middle or high paying white collar jobs?
I guess I'm a bit confused about why you find it awkward to talk about?
RBisoldandtired@reddit
🤦🏻♂️
Unhappy_Performer538@reddit
They were making a joke
Competitive_Test6697@reddit
https://youtube.com/shorts/uCc_ol-DAro?
Do this.
AdamReds@reddit
“I paint the ‘M’s on M&Ms, it’s very highly paid due to the risk of RSI. Sometimes I paint a few ‘W’s to keep Jimbo on quality control on his toes”
Academic-Block3384@reddit
I work on a computer, for a company...
Chopsticks_Charlie@reddit
Hit them with, 'I am a shepherd'
Jezbod@reddit
Of wayward bits 'n bytes?
Boring-Print9058@reddit
Just tell them you're a drug dealer, that'll either cut any further conversation dead or you'll discover who the drug fiends are within that social circle when they start hassling you to score.
FunGuyHan@reddit
“I’m sorry but I am unable to discuss it with unauthorised persons” or similar always does well for me.
Green_Lychee8221@reddit
I don't believe most of the people responding have been outside their house to interact with another person, let along ever been asked about their job. Just answer the question; it's not a trick that you've foiled.
BeardedBaldMan@reddit
I work in IT.
An answer so vague that it reveals nothing and doesn't envite further queries. If someone else working in IT asks for detail I can put them off with "Enterprise Integration Systems" which again is deathly dull but vague.
If I need to kill it completely I can pull out the absolute guaranteed to end a conversation forever option.
It's for parking systems
icklemichael@reddit
I can't stop laughing at that last line but I know in real life I'd be desperately backing out the room!
Drawn_to_the_Fire@reddit
Say you're the chief cheese taster in a cheese factory.
BigRedS@reddit
I ask "what do you do" quite a lot when getting to know someone, but it's not for a status check so much as a way of starting a conversation. I don't care if the answer is their job, their hobbies, a joke etc., it's just a pretty non-threatening question to ask anyone. I'm not sure there's really much stock in 'status' with jobs these days anyway, nearly everyone I ask dismisses their work as office drudgery and prefers to talk about their hobbies or pets anyway.
My stock answer when pressed for my actual job is "oh, computers" and then I'll explain if they are actually interested, but normally we just talk about a different thing.
pezzlingpod@reddit
I'm disabled and can't work. I hate it. My stock answer now is, 'I just do whatever I want.'
Sea_Pomegranate8229@reddit
I use to tell people that I designed holographic beer mats.
Tell them you sell air guitars.
Wide-Cauliflower-212@reddit
I circumcise mice.
Holiday-Window7949@reddit
Just say you're not authorised to disclose your job
jc456_@reddit
What do you do: Consultant
What kind: Financial consultant
That's what I usually say. No one has ever pressed further than that. My real job is very unusual.
InformationHead3797@reddit
I did the same when I had a peculiar job. If they commented any further (rare), I’d say: “It’s unbelievably boring, but it pays the bills!”
OilAdministrative197@reddit
Wait so what do you do?!
Kwayzar9111@reddit
just cheerfully say,. heeyyy no work talk toniighhttt
Aggravating-Delay792@reddit
You can't avoid the inevitable question that is certain. But if you are nagged about it just tell them it's a secret.
Livid-Needleworker65@reddit
Unfortunately, despite the above comments some people DO judge people based on their jobs and will treat you differently.
My husband and I are unassuming looking people but have a HHI of almost seven figures per annum from our jobs. People more often than not treat us better once they know what we do for work. This sucks as there's more to us then money/income/occupation. I never ask people what they do for work and neither do I judge them. We know lots of different types of people, from factory workers to elite athletes, CEOs etc.
BDbs1@reddit
Reddit strikes again…
“What do I say if someone asks my job?”
FFS man
TheRealGabbro@reddit
I know. It’s almost like no one has any social skills any more.
RadaghasztII@reddit
Not enough social skills but more than enough insecurities
NoBrother6430@reddit
It is a status check question.
You can and will be ostracised if people feel your profession is beneath, been there
Worked for a bookie making markets and some promotions, stopped telling people what I did after bad experiences telling people.
sc_BK@reddit
Tell them your job is asking questions on reddit
claudetteandharold@reddit (OP)
I agree , I’ll make sure to tell people I’m a Freelance Redditor Botherer
SunAdditional3606@reddit
God British redditors can be miserable sometimes (I say this as a British redditor)
Admirable_Border_627@reddit
I feel you. I hate being asked what I do. I hate my shitty, dull, meaningless, underpaid job and it's the last thing I ever want to talk about.
Dangerous-Regret-358@reddit
I generally say that keep my work life private and that my work is sensitive. That usually ends that line of conversation and I then change the subject. I find that approach works well.
petemorley@reddit
Did they start asking you about that time when you threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table?
PopTrogdors@reddit
Well, I just go into a 3 hour explanation of my job, daily roles, my career so far, issues and concerns, different companies I've worked at and their structures, issues I've come across and how I dealt with them.
Basically, if they ask, they are getting a TED talk on my job. So good luck to them.
Eyup_Amigo@reddit
I mean, you could view it as a form of networking. You never know what it could lead to.
Iwentforalongwalk@reddit
Oh God. My job is so boring. What do you do?
FlexistentialClouds@reddit
dolphin trainer is my go-to answer when i know that people are gonna make pre-assumptions on my character based on my chosen proffesion.
TheMaskedWrestIer@reddit
Went they ask what you do, tell them then immediately ask them what they do and then just bombard them with questions about their job. They’ll forget about yours soon enough.
recovering-junkie@reddit
“I don’t, if I can help it.”
Ok_Place3637@reddit
Say you have sex with men for money.
MrAbstractThought@reddit
Helicopter pilot - wanna see my chopper
Current_Crow_9197@reddit
From my understanding, middle and upper middle-class people tend to be professionals, whose lives revolve around work and family. So it’s one of the first things they know they can have a proper conversation on. Also, we love to moan and groan about work to find some solidarity.
If you don’t want to discuss work, just tell ppl what you do, and idk move the conversation to ‘wish I had more time for my actual interests’ and then talk about said interests.
BourbonSn4ke@reddit
What do you do? I work
What do you do? The bare mininum
What do you do? Survive
What do you do? Pray for death everyday
What do you do? Explain job in explicit detail so they wished they never asked you
What do you do? My wife/husband/gf/bf etc
What do you do? Job
All depends on your mood
Existing-Rhubarb-972@reddit
Tell them you have a private income and don't have to work.
claudetteandharold@reddit (OP)
That will mean i have a lot in common with over 40% of the people attending
External-Praline-451@reddit
That sounds more upper class than middle class!
abyssal-isopod86@reddit
"I don't like to bring work into my private life." and then change the subject by asking them a non-work related question.
Dangerous-Regret-358@reddit
This!
VodkaMargarine@reddit
You don't have to answer questions. Most people asking "so what do you do?" don't actually care about the answer they are just trying to make small talk, and grabbing the easiest way they can do that.
You genuinely can just not answer and talk about something else. Occasionally people might think you are rude, but if the thing you choose to talk about is interesting or funny enough they'll have forgotten within a few seconds.
If someone asks me "so what do you do?" at a party my usual response is
"isn't it funny how that's everyone's first question here? What's the best answer you've heard to that so far?"
hide_in_plain_sight_@reddit
Say you’re a dolphin whisperer
tobotic@reddit
"I'm independently wealthy."
JMM85JMM@reddit
I don't. I just answer the question. If your job is a bit of a dead end for conversation the topic will fairly quickly move on.
Natural_Trick4934@reddit
“Jesus Christ that’s a boring question. We don’t need to do that. Tell me about something you’re passionate about. If that’s your job? I’m jealous. Otherwise, let’s talk about shit we love”
A version of that is always the way to go. Most people ask about work as it feels like the third safest question after ‘So,,, how about this weather’ and ‘So, who do you know here’.
It’s a default boring question. Not an inquisition.
Glueshooter68@reddit
That is one way to say that you go to the most boring parties ever.
cwright017@reddit
Just tell them, ask what they do and move on.
If you swerve it then it sounds like you’re being modest and actually do something really cool prompting them to dig deeper.
If you lie and they find out then instantly you’re a d**k, so just be honest. Or if you really don’t want to say, say that.
bingobangobongoX@reddit
I describe my own job, but in a way that seems so rehearsed, vague and bland that the inference is that it's a cover for something much more exciting, like espionage.
HelenLizMT@reddit
My response is usually "not a lot"
Myerla@reddit
I mean, i find the question a bit boring also, but also gulity of asking it in a lull on conversation. Though I live in a city where the answer is likey science or software related.
That said, you are probably overthinking people's reaction to what you do, however, I dont know the type of crowd you hangout with.
As i said, i ask at meet up events what people do. I never really ask at friends parties - more how they know person x, but sometimes it comes up.
TheFrenchVulcanSalut@reddit
i have the ‘tism and “what do you do?” is one of my go-to questions from my repertoire of “i’m trying my best to learn about you and ask questions that other people ask when they meet somebody for the first time and try to make friends.” just like “where do you live/stay” and “where are you from” is.
i never mean anything bad by it and it’s literally because i don’t know what to ask somebody if it’s my first time meeting them and i have no prior knowledge. 😭
just thought i’d add some of my personal experience there.
but if people are asking “what do you do” to suss out class, income, etc, then that’s really gross. and then judging people based on that information is even worse. i can totally understand why you’d want to swerve questions from such folk :)
fearofthedark61@reddit
i do onlyfans for a living and i used to tell people i do 'social media' or 'accounting' to avoid questions or weird responses, now i just tell them straight up i do onlyfans. people are actually usually really nice about it and genuinely interested by it, and if they aren't, why would i care what those people think anyway? if someone is going to judge you based on your job they aren't people you should want to associate with anyway. there's no shame in any job that puts food on the table!
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
Are you embarrassed about what you do, or....?
I'd say maybe just "I don't want to talk about work it's been a really busy week" or "I can't talk about it" and move on, resulting in an air of mystery.
GregoireLeFrog@reddit
Not sure why you have to feel so awkward about it. People who treat you differently based on your job are not worth your consideration. It’s their problem not yours.
Robertinho678@reddit
It's very rarely a status check, it's just making conversation. It sounds like you're the one being awkward about it.
wtfftw1042@reddit
I act like I've not heard the question and then brightly ask what they do for fun.
ElBajitoGordito@reddit
"Ask me a better question?"
Or just respond by talking about what you are passionate about, and if they say I meant for work, respond I know, I'm not interested. What do you think of the party etc.
Break rapport as early as possible and filter for your people.
Good luck.
TheAngryBad@reddit
I just say I'm an accountant. That's usually dull enough to end that conversation fairly sharpish.
It's not entirely a lie; I used to be one and I sort of still am, so I can fend off any followup questions well enough. But my actual job situation nowadays is more 'it's complicated' in a way that I really can't be bothered to explain to someone that's just asking to be polite.
JobAnxious2005@reddit
If I’m with career-like people, happy to chat.
I’d the convo will move onto an earning difference or something like that, hells naw
UnspeakableBadger@reddit
“International assassin” is my go-to response.
Chicken_shish@reddit
"I play around with computers."
Ranges from a PlayStation to building enterprise systems for central banks.
nfurnoh@reddit
“My NDA says I can’t tell you.”
jaarn@reddit
'I paint the Hs on helipads'
AmazingRedDog@reddit
“I work at the Tax Fraud office, tell me again what it is you do?”
Rhesus-Positive@reddit
I tell them my job and then ask "how about you?"
That way if they don't care about my job they get the opportunity to talk about themselves
GFCPricey@reddit
Just be vague, I tend to say the industry I'm in rather than the specific role etc.
rhyithan@reddit
I often ask just for something to spark up conversation. If they say “i work at tesco” then ill ask about difficult/funny customer stories and go from there. If they say “lion tamer” ill ask about behind the scenes. Its not a status check. For some it is, but those people are bellends
BusyAioli6851@reddit
I just don’t think it’s that deep. No one cares if you’re a sales assistant or a surgeon. It’s just conversation. And if you think people are judging you, you’re either projecting or hanging with the wrong crowd. As long as you’re nice and friendly I couldn’t care what you do. Also someone can be in a part time ‘low status’ job but still be financially well of due to other factors like partner, family, previous job so it just doesn’t really make sense to status check on peoples jobs.
I_am_legend-ary@reddit
It’s a fucking icebreaker question, stop reading too much into it
Just lie if you want to.
“I work in IT, pretty boring to be honest but it pays the bills and allows me to focus my time on my human taxidermy hobby”
Future-Tea-7776@reddit
Oh that's an interesting hobby, I've been looking for someone to taxidermy Grand papa before his funeral, thought he'd like to sit with us.
m8044@reddit
Oh lordy, you can't control what people are going to say or ask you in a public/social setting. Seriously - this question is bonkers 😛
wimsey_pimsey@reddit
Everybody on this thread desperate to ask OP what their job is
rokkerzuk@reddit
You could say you're a professional tennis player like Moss in The IT Crowd did. : D
Or you could just own it and tell them the truth.
AnonymousTimewaster@reddit
Why don't you just tell them what your job is and you find it boring and you don't want to talk about it ?
Fedupofwageslavery@reddit
For years I’ve asked people “what do you do for fun” I couldn’t care less what someone’s job is
ofcoursebutmaybeeeee@reddit
Dolphin Trainer.
Also, if someone is going to immediately decide how to treat you based on what you do, do you really want to socialise with them.
LoudSloths@reddit
Tell them that’s highly sensitive information that you can’t disclose but these are my interests…
Ok_Adhesiveness_8637@reddit
Depends on if I want to talk to them.
Accountant or Astrophysicist if not.
Active-Strawberry-37@reddit
In my experience people only ask this so that you ask them about their work. Answer briefly then ask them, bet they love talking about it
New-Newt-5979@reddit
"I paint the little M's on M&M's"
iphonedyou@reddit
Nobody's actually interested in what you do. It's an icebreaker question, and it's often deployed because the person doesn't want to talk about themselves.
Resipsa100@reddit
You’ll be fine as long as you’re not a debt collector 👍
Special_Software_631@reddit
Just make something up each time your asked lol...the crazier the better
honesto_pinion@reddit
"I prefer not to be defined by what I do but by who I am."
eralcilrahc@reddit
In other words, unemployed
honesto_pinion@reddit
Worse, I'm an accountant, it's even more boring explaining your work than it is for the people listening...
Old_Crow_5646@reddit
I say, "I'm not working at the moment but I'm looking...". I left my last job partly due to an insane manager and then maybe I talk a little about that. Previously I said, "I do admin" or "I teach" when I was in those roles and then moved on to other topics of conversation.
I'm not one of those people who make my job my identity. If you want to talk about your hobbies, go ahead. What are your hobbies by the way (you got me curious!)?
FoxDesigner2574@reddit
I swerve it by never being invited to parties.
Oxblood_Derbies@reddit
Say "ahh, lets not talk about work" as jovially as you can, and bring up something you want to talk about (the food is splendid, a football match, the reemergence of fascism globally etc etc)
BatFormer7828@reddit
“If I told you that, I’d have to kill you”
the_sweens@reddit
Oh it's boring, but I have this interesting hobby...
Budget_Dot694@reddit
Say what you do, divert conversation to something bf else, deal with whatever uncomfortable feeling is coming up causing avoidance which seems to be the real problem here
Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit
I tend to. I have a really interesting job and I earn good money so it's not like I have anything to shy away from, but I just can't be fucked arsed talking about it because to explain what I do always feels like I'm reading a script.
Just be suspiciously vague about it like "oh I'd really rather not say / I just don't want to get into that / aw you don't want to know / meh, a bit of this, a bit of that..."
DonRustone@reddit
Richard Ayoade says in response to what do you do, "As little as possible"
Tulip_Blossom@reddit
My job is very boring, without getting into specifics I say “I’m an analyst for “X”, what about you?”. However my partner has an very cool job so usually I’ll throw his into the mix and then I get to talk about that 😅
aleopardstail@reddit
generic "oh I do stuff in an office with computers"
Lollypop1305@reddit
It can’t be any worse than being asked this question when you are a mortician as I am. This always results in 75 thousand questions I get asked every single time someone finds this out. No dead bodies do not sit up, yes the videos you have seen proving it are in fact AI, no I don’t think it’s gross, yes it smells. Etc etc etc.
Cletus_Banjo@reddit
I tell people I'm a mathematician.
Macrihanishautomatic@reddit
They pretend to pay me and I pretend to work.
HatOfFlavour@reddit
I make just enough to survive and I’d rather do something else, what's your passion stranger?
No-Championship9542@reddit
I explain to them I have a 300 acre farm, forestry buisness, commercial property interests, do weddings, some residential and also events. Honestly obviously I look down on the corpo workers, I think they're wasting their lives, but I feel like they look down on me as well as I feel like if you have a nondesk based business their brain somewhat brakes down and can't process it. This is even though I could just hire them at what they're currently being paid to clean my toilets and it wouldn't impact my life.
grepusman@reddit
"It's classified, so I'm not allowed to discuss it in any way I'm afraid. Let's just say you'd rest better at night if you knew what I do."
sleepyprojectionist@reddit
I start by not getting invited to parties, but should I find myself at a party I tell people what I do.
I’m too near the bottom of the corporate ladder for it to become a contest. I like my job, but it is not in the least bit impressive. Although I will say that the way some of our customers use the products we produce can be genuinely interesting, so I often end up segueing into a conversation about semiconductors or additive manufacturing.
The type of people who ask the job question in order to justify an excuse to show off in front of others can be a bit tedious, but there’s always one of them at every gathering.
UberMcWolf@reddit
Tell them that's a boring question. Ask them something more interesting instead.
SaltyName8341@reddit
Government artist. I draw the dole.
Smidday90@reddit
Love it!
sparkline1234567@reddit
Just say you're fortunate enough not to have to work for a living. Shuts them up real quick.
chefshoes@reddit
i work in it (365 specialist) and i just tell them i turn things off and on again, no further enquiries as theyve ALL been told that at some point in time.
if they persist then i explain actually no i sometimes uninstall and reinstall
RBisoldandtired@reddit
Right so you do only fans…
Just make something else up or say you don’t like to talk about work in your downtime 🤷🏻♂️
OkConsideration5272@reddit
It's so cringeworthy isn't it! I never ask anyone this unless they specifically mention work, it's such an assumption to think everyone's in paid work or study.
You could say, "in my free time I do x x and x, it's far more interesting than my paid job".
VaferQuamMeles@reddit
I don't swerve, I tell them my boring job title and watch their eyes go 'wow, that's boring' and then I diffuse with humour.
londonflare@reddit
So what do you do??
When I get asked this I say "I work in local government, it sounds boring but I love it"
SummertimeSandler@reddit
When someone says "What do you do?" I usually say "My best."
I don't know what you actually do but you can fluff it and handwave away saying "Oh nothing much, just stakeholder engagement kind of stuff" or something similar, and then change the subject or pivot to asking them something about themselves. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it at all.
fastestman4704@reddit
Tell them you're a Lion Tamer.
LifeBandit666@reddit
Onlyfans foot fetish model, wear those finger shoes to the party
cloudcrawler@reddit
I’ve never associated this with a class check thing. I’m working class and ask every new person I meet what their job is purely for conversation’s sake.
StandardRedditUser11@reddit
"I don't like to talk about work". Repeat as is necessary.
Original-Proof-8741@reddit
‘Modesty boy in a Turkish bathhouse’ - that’ll shut them up
craigus17@reddit
“What do you do?” “PARTAAAYYY”
notthedoodaa@reddit
Know how t'throw a PAAAR'EHHHHHHH!
BelstaffBoy@reddit
Professionally unemployed
BCircle907@reddit
I answer the question and ask questions back. It’s a conversation.
If you’re thinking about the status check aspect, how is that any different from hobbies, travel, etc?
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