I keep getting asked for an emergency contact, but I don't have one. What do other people in this situation do?
Posted by imaginewizard@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 479 comments
I often go to events and outings, and I get told as part of the insurance (or policy or whatever), I need to put down an emergency contact. But I don't have anyone. I live alone, I have no friends, my family is the last group of people I would want involved if I didn't have the capacity to make decisions for myself which is kind of what I assume the number is used for.
I don't really get why it's needed - I'm sure it's good for those who do want someone to be contacted, but presumably if I am involved in a medical incident, I will be treated in my best interests by medical staff, until a point where I can then either make my own decisions or I never will be able to - but by that point it's not the event organiser's business anyway.
Hot-Obligation7733@reddit
what events are you going to? are these spaces where you can connect with others / make friends?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Yes but it hasn’t happened.
Randomfinn@reddit
It is also if you are killed and bodies are unidentified, as a way to start to track down who is next of kin. You can leave your bosses or HR’s contact info as they can track down next of kin. If that is uncomfortable, a lawyer or medical professional is another option.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I am sure they can do that with my name. I suppose I can try putting down my GP ....
Randomfinn@reddit
As someone who worked with large databases of names, you would be amazed at how many duplicate names there are, even of pretty uncommon names.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Sure, but within my activity groups, from my city, of my age, etc. I'm not hard to find.
XihuanNi-6784@reddit
Depending on who it is that's not really their job. If it gets to that point it's the police who will do it.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Yeah, to clarify, that was the 'they' to whom I was referring to. My point being it doesn't need to rely on my emergency contact, by that point people with the resources to find my next of kin will be able to.
Randomfinn@reddit
That is extra steps that in an emergency they organisers may not have the time or energy for. In addition to you declining to provide the information they need, they will be dealing with people who transposed numbers, or have illegible writing, or who sepersted from their spouse/emergency contact at the event and now the spouse in uncooperative.
Basically, you are asking if it is ok to make a bunch of extra work for people and we are all saying it is a shitty thing to do. You want to do that? No one is going to stop you. But your attitude about how much effort you feel entitled to, so that other people should devote that energy in a crisis to just you, might be speaking about your basic character.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
What are you talking about? Also - you’ve misread. It wouldn’t be them looking for my next of kin.
EnumeratedArray@reddit
The thing is, your age, name, and city might not be available if something bad happens like youre in a fire and are burned to the point that you have no distinguishable features and your clothing and ID are melted
Even with all of your information it's hard to track down anyone who needs to know you've died. In those cases you very rarely have all the information.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Why would that destroy my personal details? They’re stored on the system the event organiser is using.
Resident-Two4054@reddit
There is something called the birthday paradox. Which states that you only have to have 23 people in a room to have a 50/50 chance that at least two people share the same birthday.
As another person incharge of large databases the commonality if names/dob ect is staggering common
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That doesn't mean it always is XD
omniwrench-@reddit
With no friends and being estranged from your own family, you’re probably harder to track down than anyone I know
Hot_College_6538@reddit
Sure, but that’s quite unusual so I think you’ll just need to decline or make something up.
It’s only to give them someone to contact, they don’t get to make medical decisions or anything else.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I don't want to make anything up in case it does get used and I get banned from the events from doing so.
I feel like asking someone I am simply an acquaintance of to be my emergency contact is a bit awkward.
Lily346@reddit
Could you ask a neighbour?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
The shops I live next to don't even know my name XD
Lily346@reddit
I don’t mean this rudely but maybe introduce yourself and engage with your neighbours. It helps to have people know you in your neighbourhood even if they aren’t friends.
Lotty2@reddit
Really depends where you live. Most neighbours in the city avoid eye-contact, let alone conversation. This is obviously less true for the suburbs.
OMGItsCheezWTF@reddit
How? I couldn't name a single neighbor since I moved out of my parents place in the early 2000s. Not caused me any issues yet!
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I mean I have tried ....
Hot_College_6538@reddit
What sort of event do you think they will contact your emergency contact in ? I don’t suppose attending future events is likely to be on the cards TBH.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
There are a number of things that could incapacitate me and cause one of the event staff to panic and feel like they need to check in with my emergency contact, that I could easily recover from. I don't think the threshold for calling an emergency contact is an event that is guaranteed to debilitate or kill me.
Hot_College_6538@reddit
It’s not school calling your mum, they wont call your contact if you faint, or get drunk, high etc. None of those things are emergencies. They might give the contact to a hospital or the police.
But anyway, your ideas of this event sound far weirder than I’m equipped to imagine.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
No, but I can imagine them contacting them if I am unresponsive. Or if I present with an usual medical illness that may need my history checking. That is an emergency. These are why I would call the number. A few times when I've had patients present with things like this I've found an emergency number on their phone and rang to get their history.
preyforall@reddit
Tell us the truth - is the event an orgy?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
No
HenryHarryLarry@reddit
It’s not that unusual to be honest, I’m in the same situation and have seen this question come up fairly regularly on Reddit.
PancakesSnug@reddit
I mean it's Reddit I think it's quite a bit more unusual in real life
Momotaro6@reddit
Are you saying you know absolutely nobody in your life? No friends? No family? Nothing?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I do *know* people, but no, I have no friends and I actively do not want my family involved in the stage where the event organiser would call them.
Pale_Slide_3463@reddit
Don’t worry there’s a lot of people who don’t want their friends or whoever down. People just weird about others having a simple group around them
Hot-Asparagus-2645@reddit
A simple group? OP has no group at all around them
Pale_Slide_3463@reddit
He never actually said that, he doesn’t want family or friends on it.
Not_Wrong_Tho@reddit
Well no, OP has family alive but they're clearly not on good terms if they can't trust any of them to even be around when they potentially die, and in the comment you replied to they said they had no friends.
I get that you're trying to be nice, but OP doesn't have a 'simple group', they have no-one.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
He said he has no one to put down. So if he died there would be no one for the hospital to inform.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
No, I have said if I died then my family would need to be informed, and I expect they would. I just don't want them informed before.
Zealousideal_Sir5421@reddit
I don’t think this is as weird as everyone here is trying to make it. I feel the same way. Obviously my family should know if I’m dead, and I’m sure they’ll probably be told if I’m in a coma or something, but I don’t want them called for anything else and I don’t want them making decisions or knowing my medical information.
mattcannon2@reddit
You may want to register a will expressing your wishes regarding your family.
Klakson_95@reddit
You gotta get out more bro
AskUK-ModTeam@reddit
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people.
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people. AskUK contains a variety of ages, experiences, and backgrounds - consider not everyone is operating on the same level or background as you. Listen to others before you respond, and be courteous when doing so.
roxieh@reddit
Don't pity OP. Some people are just happy being lone wolves, and it doesn't mean they've never had someone close to to them or that they never will. I'm sure they've lived a full life so far. It's just sometimes you end up in a situation where you're on your own. It happens.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Oh, no, pity me, I hate being alone.
XxSianxX@reddit
Haha you sound exactly like me.. 0 friends, no family (at least none you would ever consider putting down) and no support system... just my toddler and I. When im asked this i always just stare blankly, say I have nobody and if its that important then 999? But yeah ill use the GP next time and i hate having nobody around!
Echoshungryhippos@reddit
What about your toddlers dad? Wouldn't he be the obvious choice? Assuming he's around that is. I had family but they lived overseas except for two who were still 200 miles away. So I put my ex husband, after all if I was incapacitated or worse it would be my child that was of the utmost concern and he would be the one to take her and look after her and then be able to tell my family. It was only the other day at the hospital that they asked me if my ICE contact was the same that I realised I'd never taken him off! Daughters an adult now and she is the ICE contact now. Think about what would happen to your toddler if something happened to you and who would get her or arrange care for her. You might not get on with your family but if you think they would at least make sure your kid was ok put one of them down.
Lotty2@reddit
Trust me, we do think about our children and what would happen...
XxSianxX@reddit
My ex is an ex for a reason, we was in a long term abusive relationship and regardless if anything happened to me or not, my ex would put everything else before our son. I was sick for 3 months in the beginning of the year, had to literally beg my ex to watch our son! At one point I had to go to hospital as an emergency and my ex told me social services will have to "hold on" to our son so they could go to the gym and my ex will collect him from them once finished at the gym! The system doesnt work like that but if thats how my ex thinks when they already know I need hospital care, imagine what would happen in an emergency!
Lotty2@reddit
Same here. I have been in this situation since my 14 year old was a baby. I am often asked for next of kin from school etc. They struggle to accept there is literally no-one. Not how you expect your life to turn out :/
PenguinsAndPurcell@reddit
Hey, sorry to hear that you're alone. Are you very shy? Is something else holding you back from making friends?
I know that's not why you wrote this thread so I won't mind if you ignore this comment. I just hate to think of you feeling bad about it.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I wouldn't describe myself as shy. Just I don't have the energy to keep trying when it isn't working.
luna_sparkle@reddit
Oh, looking at your comments, it might be easier if someone else tries? If you don't mind talking to random people from reddit I'd be happy to message and get to know you.
I don't have much of a life nowadays which means I have a lot of spare time for talking to people and have loads of experience hearing all sorts of people vent their life stories to me.
Well, I'm busy this weekend because have to drive down south to help a friend move house but that's unusual, aside from that I'm free basically all the time.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
It would be easier if someone else tried, but it would need to be someone irl, not virtual.
roxieh@reddit
Oh. Well then, I'm very sorry 😅 I hope you find your tribe in due course my friend.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Maybe
Momotaro6@reddit
Nah I'm very much a loner myself but I've got a few family members I trust with such things....well two. But there was a time when even they weren't possible due to distance so I just put a friend I used to work with. Again dont see her much due to distance though. I move around the globe a lot!
Lysadora@reddit
It's one thing having friends and another having someone you'd trust taking care of you after a serious accident for example. Hospital visits, taking you to doctors appointments, home care, financial help etc is a lot to ask, not everyone is able to provide that.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
That is not what it means. It simply means someone to contact to say this person has died or in a coma or seriously ill. Anything less and they would leave you to contact people yourself. If you have no one for a hospital to ring and say you have died, then you are very isolated
Mavisssss@reddit
I live abroad and have friends here, but it's a lot for new friends to be called to say you died. Imagine Laura from work who you text with and have occasional coffee with outside work suddenly getting a call you died.
Mountain-Distance576@reddit
I am like this. I have basically one friend left and we see each other maybe 1 once every 6 months, he lives a few hrs away.
I work, sleep, eat and any downtime I spend alone.
It's a lot more common that you might think, many people not in a friendship group live this way
Zealousideal_Box5339@reddit
I moved abroad completely by myself in my 20s. They wouldn’t let me put down international numbers as my first point of contact so I sympathise with OP
Alexander-Wright@reddit
If so, 🫂OP.
And you have us...
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
not really but thanks
InexperiencedAngler@reddit
Set it as a funeral directors place lol. I mean no one is going to test it until the time comes.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Which risks me getting in trouble and banned from future events.
LittleSadRufus@reddit
No one is reading and vetting what you put. They won't look at it until it's needed.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Right - and then if it is needed, it'll then become clear I was making it up, hence the risk of a ban?
LittleSadRufus@reddit
I don't think that will be remotely important to them when they're dealing with the severe injury or death of a customer.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That makes absolutely no sense. Being seen as not taking a safety measure seriously and lying about it is absolutely important and something to give someone grief over once they've recovered.
Lost-Lingonberry-688@reddit
So, you reckon if you're dying at an event and they call your emergency contact and they get through to a kabab shop, they're going to say right fuck this guy if this guy makes it we must ban him from any future events? 🤣 Theyre more likely to think you've put the number down incorrectly
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Why do you think they wouldn't ask me about the number after?
Sinnistrall@reddit
Because they don't care. It's weird you are so convinced that they will.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
You need to substantiate that, because I think being misleading on a safety measure is the thing an event organiser would care about.
Sinnistrall@reddit
You think wrong, like many other people have told you. You being so argumentive with everyone might be why you have nobody to put as an emergency contact.
Left_Concentrate_519@reddit
I didn’t wanna say it but I’m glad you do
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I am explaining why your suggestion isn't the solution to my circumstance, something out of the two of us I am the only one who is an authority on. I'm not sure why you think you know my life better than I do. I welcome an actual substantial to your assertion, if you don't have one then frankly you're the one being contrary for no reason instead of accepting your suggestion isn't viable.
cannon4344@reddit
Is the a 5 minute argument or the full half hour?
Veflas510@reddit
They care about the form being filled in for insurance purposes. They don’t give a fuck about what you put, only that you put something.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
They may care if it comes up, and that's enough of a risk I do not want to take.
Hot-Asparagus-2645@reddit
But if you don't have anyone in your life to miss you if anything happens to you.... which you don't.... It really doesn't matter what you put down. Nobody needs contacting anyway. After an event you can day you wrote it down wrong. You could literally make up a name and number. The only time it would be an issue is if you actually have someone bothered where you are.... which you dont
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
People get aggravated when you lie to them, especially around safety requirements. It also can waste the time of an FR.
Hot-Asparagus-2645@reddit
Your emergency contact really isn't that deep. They don't actually care about you. They need it for the paperwork. It's simply box ticking. They literally couldn't give a shit what you put.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
> They literally couldn't give a shit what you put.
Except when they do and they say 'no we need an actual contact'.
preyforall@reddit
Am starting to see why he doesn't have friends...
AskUK-ModTeam@reddit
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people.
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people. AskUK contains a variety of ages, experiences, and backgrounds - consider not everyone is operating on the same level or background as you. Listen to others before you respond, and be courteous when doing so.
fishyfishyswimswim@reddit
Jfc this might be why you have no friends
Valuable_One_1011@reddit
I was timing the same thing
WellIGuessSoAndYou@reddit
I beginning to understand why you have no emergency contacts.
Pick_Up_Autist@reddit
Yeah, they'll ask if you entered the wrong info somehow and you say yes, that's the absolute most that will happen.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
They could also ask other questions.
Pick_Up_Autist@reddit
You're catastrophising, but just go with the GP option and chill, you've got a good answer to your query.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I'm not, but yes I agree that's the best suggestion so far.
ParkerR666@reddit
The only person you’ve inconvenienced or risked is yourself. They’ve upheld their legal responsibilities by asking you for a number and that is all they care about. They aren’t asking for your benefit if we’re brutally honest (although of course nobody wants anyone to come to harm).
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That doesn’t mean they won’t be cross about being lied to. Or the stress it could give them when they can’t reach anyone.
LittleSadRufus@reddit
a) Your emergency contact details are not a safety measure
b) They'll just tell the paramedics collecting your corpse that they don't have emergency contact details, and move on with their day. They paramedics will then go through official channels, eg the police, to identify your family and notify them.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
You and I might not think it is, but they might.
Obviously my concern isn't relevant if I am killed.
LittleSadRufus@reddit
I can tell from your insistent and dogmatically contrary responses (to me and many others) that you have no interest in sincere guidance but are either suffering from a obsessive condition that cannot be reasoned with or are a troll. So I'll end engagement here I think. Good luck with it, if it is the compulsive obsession and not mere attention seeking.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
You have discerned wrong.
AutomaticInitiative@reddit
There will be no risk of a ban, nok is only used in the direst of circumstances and everywhere considers your safety and welfare paramount in that moment
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That's an assurance you could not possible make.
AutomaticInitiative@reddit
As a person who would be the person notifying next of kin, I can provide that assurance
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
You are not the event runner of every event I go or feasibly go to, sorry XD
People are acting as if I am being unreasonable, rather than accepting I, as the person in my own situation, could possibly understand the tendencies of people I know and how they have acted in comparable situations.
AutomaticInitiative@reddit
I don't think you're being unreasonable I do think you're overthinking it a bit. Your situation is very, very common and we deal with it all the time.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think potentially overcautious, but the only way to be sure is to risk that ban.
ExitNo48@reddit
As others have said just put your doctor or doctor's surgery number down. You seem to be fixating on issues that you are creating in your mind.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Yes, that is how caution works. But yes, I agree my GP is the best suggestion given here.
IndividualAd3764@reddit
You need to chill out. Respectfully.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I am?
BenadrylCrumplsnatch@reddit
As long as you're legally an adult, event organisers will never call your emergency contact. Their emergency contact for you is 999.
They collect your emergency contact to pass onto the first responders if something serious were to happen to you. They aren't trained to deliver that kind of news to a panicked NOK.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Tbh, I wouldn't want to waste a first responders time with a fake number, we have enough to be doing. But also that is not the response event teams have given me when I've been like 'okay well who would you need to contact and why?'
ihateyournan@reddit
Just say no one? It's not a law that you have to have a next of kin
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Nope, but it's not a law that the event has to let me attend.
BlueFlamingoes@reddit
I think the bigger concern would be the situation in which it is needed.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Sure, until that is over. Also not really when the event organisers are getting stressed when they keep calling a number and not getting through or they get through to someone who is equally confused, that would easily aggravate someone and prompt them to take action once I've recovered.
Disastrous-Force@reddit
The situations where next of kin numbers are called realistically are where it’s likely that you have been seriously, possibly critically injured.
The risks etc of this coming back in a negative way are similar to likelyhood of the organisers needing to contact your next of kin. Not zero but incredibly rare for most events / activities.
If you genuinely have no one then funeral directors or doctors aren’t bad numbers. Both will have 24/7 contact numbers for emergencies.
If you had a will then whichever solicitors you’ve lodged it with would also be an option.
The organisers are mostly collecting these numbers to pass on to the emergency services if something bad was to happen, not for themselves to call your next of kin.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
They will absolutely pass it on to emergency services but that doesn't mean they might not be in a situation where they feel like they have to call it themselves. A lot of these events have in-house medics, who would feedback about the number as they are event staff. (I say this as someone who is sometimes one of those in-house medics, I would do this).
Disastrous-Force@reddit
As an in house medic (first aid?) you should be briefed by the organiser when it’s appropriate or not to call the emergency number.
I’m struggling to think of when the organiser or the organisers non professional medics / first aiders calling the number would be appropriate. Doctors, paramedics, nurses are trained on when it’s appropriate to use emergency contact numbers.
Certainly from a work perspective I know our on site first aiders are told they shouldn’t use emergency contact numbers themselves. Either let the genuine emergency services make the call or inform HR for staff.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That has never happened nor do I see why it would, I would call an emergency contact for any unresponsive patient I did not know well enough, that is what we're trained on (to answer your question). Event organisers, you are right, would not have that training, so they could easily just ring in in a justified 'oh this person is unconscious I should let someone know'.
Sinnistrall@reddit
Now I understand why you are describing yourself as a clinician and that you provide medical support at some of these events, when your bio and blog say you are a computer scientist.
(Its because you're lying).)
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Are you suggesting computer scientists can't be clinicians? XD
Sinnistrall@reddit
That provide event first aid? Yes
BlueFlamingoes@reddit
They should not be contacting your emergency contact outside emergency.
If you are not worried about actual emergency, then you can just get top up sim and an old phone. If its emergency nobody will answer, if its not emergency then you just answer it with whatever fake name you put down.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Anytime you lie it comes with a risk of being found out, and I like going to these events too much to risk that for this.
Sinnistrall@reddit
It really doesn't, I promise you.
Absolutely nobody cares who you put as an emergency contact. I've never seen one used.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
There is absolutely no way you can promise that, or assure of that.
Sinnistrall@reddit
This is the strangest, most overblown concern I have every seen on reddit. You are massively, massively overthinking this.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
You need to substantiate that. Everything I know of these people points towards that they would be aggravated to learn I lied to them about a safety/insurance thing.
babushka1705@reddit
What kind of events are you talking about? Maybe that would help people understand your point of view here.
It's really not that deep though... you don't have to do what this guy suggested (which I feel was originally a bit of a joke anyway lol)
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
The events are various but in some, small enough that I know the organisers of them and how they could react, based on how other people being 'difficult' around health and safety things have been actioned.
ExitNo48@reddit
You just keep repeating the same thing. Everyone is telling you the truth and you're just not listening. I think you are slightly paranoid about this and you don't have to be.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I mean if people are saying the same thing my response is going to be the same? I am listening, I’m just not agreeing and explaining why. It’s justifiable caution.
OMGItsCheezWTF@reddit
Just put a random name and number. If they try and ring it and it doesn't work you just say "Oh, George must have changed his number, sorry about that"
Plausible deniability.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I am not going to lie, both for personal reasons and also because a lie has a risk, even if small, of being caught out on, and the consequences of aggravating someone with the power to ban me isn't worth it.
OMGItsCheezWTF@reddit
Don't lie then, put someone you really do know but get their number 1 digit wrong. That's an honest mistake.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I mean if that happens then sure.
Some events have in-house HCPs and medics, in which case, depending on their SOP, 999 may not be, and the in-house HCP or other medics will be the one making use of that emergency contact, and lying concerns aside, we have enough to be dealing with without wasting time on a number that isn't actually legit.
CuratorOfNoise@reddit
Unless I need it, I just check it is filled in, I do not read, let alone confirm it.
(Source: I have done a few HR jobs)
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Right - and then if it is needed, it'll then become clear I was making it up, hence the risk of a ban?
in-the-cloud6679@reddit
It would only be needed in a serious emergency, or your death, so I think a ban would be the least of your worries at that point.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Citation needed on emergency contacts only being used in a 'serious emergency', however you are defining that threshold. I can think of plenty of situations where an event organiser may feel like they have to ring the number for an incapacitating injury that is completely recoverable.
CuratorOfNoise@reddit
I mean, worst case get a SIM card and use that number for it. You never get in trouble for them not answering
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Any time you lie, you risk getting caught out, I enjoy these events and the communities too much to risk aggravating the organisers.
Veflas510@reddit
What are these event? It’s not important but I really want to know.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
The events are various but in some, small enough that I know the organisers of them and how they could react, based on how other people being 'difficult' around health and safety things have been actioned.
ben_jamin_h@reddit
What events are you trying to go to where they actively check your emergency contact, and then ban you from future events if they can't get hold of them?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I didn't say they actively checked, I said if they did end up calling them in a perceived emergency the false information could be discovered. Aggravating an event organiser by being dishonest around a safety/insurance thing is easily enough for them to consider a ban. The events are various but in some, small enough that I know the organisers of them and how they could react, based on how other people being 'difficult' around health and safety things have been actioned.
avalanchefan95@reddit
If they use it to call, then you were already in trouble. I've been on the planet over 50 years and someone has tried to call my emergency contact exactly zero times.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
... but not the trouble that's necessarily gonna get me banned from an event.
Mautarius@reddit
OP definitely isn't attending any 'how-to-get-a-joke' seminars. Maybe the organizers are asking for a different kind of ice.
Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit
local kebab shop 👌🏻
_Cridders_@reddit
And register as an organ donner
Top-Income-6885@reddit
Bravo
Annabelle_Sugarsweet@reddit
Put your boss at work?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I wouldn't really want them to know either ... nor put them in that situation of feeling like they need to do something?
txteva@reddit
I am a boss to a small team, if any of them felt that alone I'd rather be listed as a contact to know they had someone there than them be alone.
Maybe use this an an opportunity to reach out. Find a local Facebook/reddit group, reach out to people with similar interests or even maybe say 'realised I have no one close enough to be an emergency contact and I'd like to improve on this'. Just remember you might also be their emergency contact.
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
They dont need to do anything. Its a contact, not a will or medical decision.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Needing to and feeling responsible to are different things.
alpinewhite85@reddit
They will not be responsible for making medical decisions on your behalf. And no medical professional would put them in a position to do so.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That's not what I meant, I meant they may feel personally responsible to do something (let people know, for example).
Annabelle_Sugarsweet@reddit
If they are your boss they will want to know if you’re unwell or not, I don’t think it’s a big reach to put them down, they have a pastoral role as well as a management one for you in their role.
alpinewhite85@reddit
Ok, fair enough
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
They are and you are blurring the boundaries.
Passing contact details does not imply any kind of legal responsibilities or empowerment.
If it did, it would come with a 40 page volume of explanations, caveats, etc.
It is contact details. Nothing more.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Not all sense of responsibility is legal ...
petemorley@reddit
They might be wondering where you are by, like Tuesday/Wednesday. This way they’ll know on Monday
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Okay - I suppose this could potentially work if I am able to provide the number along with the context they only need to be called if the event organiser thinks the incident will prevent me returning home I guess.
nouazecisinoua@reddit
They would only need to use your emergency contact if you were unconscious/so severely injured you couldn't speak or type or anything. In that situation, you're not strolling into work the next day.
Annabelle_Sugarsweet@reddit
They’d need to anyway, if you hurt yourself or where in hospital and you didn’t turn up to work they’d probably eventually try and find out what happened to you.
Turbantastic@reddit
Just put 999 down lol
velocitas80@reddit
you GPs name and the address of their surgery would be the most appropriate option if you genuinely have no next of kin.
HighPriestess29@reddit
I'm also in this boat. Did not know I could put my GPs name and contact down..Thank you
Due-Housing1366@reddit
You can also list a trusted colleague or even a local support worker if you have one. If not, many people use their GP as a default option as well.
Sensitive_Dealer_803@reddit
Just put "The. ...Hospital."
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think this is the best idea so far, I will try this next time.
dashboardhulalala@reddit
Are you religious? I'm not particularly, but I was in a dicey medical situation overseas before and I didn't want to call my family so I asked for the nearest religious leader to maybe come keep an eye on me. Thankfully the imam was my best friends father (there wasn't actually clergy of my faith in the country) so he was happy enough to sit with me and let me cry it out a bit and I gave him some contact details for my family in case it went really bad. Although I'd say he'd have asked his daughter to do that because we were closer.
Religious or not, the hospital chaplains of any faith are not there to convert, if silence or conversation or a hand to hold is what you need they'll do that for you.
_poptart@reddit
Wait - you were overseas and ill, you didn’t want to call your family (fair enough!) so you said in this foreign hospital: please find me a religious leader (of any faith? Because there was no X faith in the whole country you were in) - and your best mate’s dad turned up?!
dashboardhulalala@reddit
Ah easier to explain - my best friend in the country, her Dad (father in law) is an imam (sheikh) and when I was asked about putting a family member down on the forms I said no because it wasn't life threatening but I was scared shitless. In my country we have chaplains who come to hospitals regularly so I said can we do something similar (basically I wanted a shoulder to cry on) and they said oh that's no problem and sorted it. To be honest I don't think I actually needed the hospital set up, he would have come and sat with me regardless but that was what I decided to ask for in that moment. (No some countries wouldn't have a strong enough Christian presence that I'd know who to reach out to).
Mautarius@reddit
Tadaaa!
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
The idea of putting a random Imans number down as my emergency contact is genuinely amusing to me, and definitely one I could get away with haha.
Ivebeenfurthereven@reddit
"Imam gets a phone call, a complete stranger has put him down as their emergency contact and now they're ill" sounds like the beginning of a good comedy
schoolme_straying@reddit
I'm seeing this as a Little Alex Horne evil taskmaster task. The sort where all the contestants swear at him.
EvenMathematician874@reddit
Why didn't you just put your friends number
pumaofshadow@reddit
Its what I do. "call my doctors, no next of kin!"
radljostxx@reddit
Oh… I just put 999
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I'd worry they would think I was taking the mick.
Pale_Slide_3463@reddit
Tbh my mum is my only contact right now and tbh that’s what I would do. Who else would know my medical history lol.
Mavisssss@reddit
I put my mum, but I'm living on the opposite side of the world, so it feels odd. I have work friends here and we do hang out outside of work socially as well, but it's not like 'bestie' level friends who you would put as an emergency contact.
Odd_CivilServant@reddit
Not everyone has one
Pale_Slide_3463@reddit
I commented I would put what the other commented would their GP.
BeetleJude@reddit
Same as people who don't have any family or friends to act as emergency contact 🙃
rcp9999@reddit
Your medical records.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I put my relevant medical history on the sheet also, as it asks for that. There's nothing anyone else would be able to contribute further.
FROZTYUK@reddit
unless you have known medical conditions, i don't see the point doing this (and even then, when they ask for next of kin, it's likely they'll also ask about any known medical issues). if there is a real medical emergency, they should go straight to calling 999, not your next of kin. the nhs will have access to your gp details, which will have details of your next of kin. if you don't have a next of kin, then you put nothing and let the nhs deal with it.
PurchaseDry9350@reddit
Why put 'genuinely'
velocitas80@reddit
Because OP implied they have family members that are still alive.
EmbarrassedAd6357@reddit
999
BuncleCar@reddit
If you had an accident who would you want told, if anyone?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
There’s no one to tell.
psj3809@reddit
My parents are both passed away and i'm divorced so i often put down my best mates details or my sisters
Sorry to hear you're not close to your family. But no friends ? Whats that all about ? Can't be good for your mental health.
Last thing i would worry about in your position is who to put down as your next of kin or whatever. I would worry more about socalising with people. How about work colleagues ? Any clubs you're into ? Sports ?
Don't get why its needed ? Come on ! If you die tomorrow or have a heart attack then its normal for the hospital or police or ambulance to contact someone to let them know.
Don't die alone. Not good mate
melmboundanddown@reddit
I always put down some outrageous name and a bogus phone number so if something did happen they would realise not to bother as soon as they look at it.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
They would realise that when they see it on the form submission
melmboundanddown@reddit
I've set up 100+ employees this year. I would never query their emergency contact details, none of my business, gdpr would make it illegal anyway unless there is an emergency. I just put it on file, that's all anyone does.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I am not sure GDPR would make it illegal for an authorised data handler to verify information - indeed data verification is a core tenant of data management.
In any case, in my situations, I have been reached out by the event organiser who has questioned the information I put down.
melmboundanddown@reddit
OK we're probably referring to different things. I was just referring to basic safety contact details you are asked for when signing something mundane, like a new job or signing up to a new dentist office.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Nah this is for events I attend.
sockeyejo@reddit
I'm in the same situation. Most people refuse to believe that some of us are cut off from our families or don't have them in the first place.
I either write N/A on paper forms or put a friend on digital format that can't accept blank fields. But generally speaking, if they demand that information, I don't bother signing up for whatever it is as I CBA.
Born_Price6063@reddit
I just put myself, no issues
Plastic_Doughnut_911@reddit
I got curious and turned to Dr Google…(not copy/paste)
Next of kin isn’t a formal thing in the UK. They wouldn’t have influence over your care - that requires Power of Attorney.
The idea is that the next of kin might be asked about your wishes. Can be friend, colleague, social worker, carer, etc. But obviously they should know you well enough to speak on your behalf.
If you’re not physically able to name a next of kin they can find out from your GP - so the GP needs to have up to date information.
If you don’t have next of kin to speak for you/lasting power of attorney then the medical professionals decide.
https://www.patients-association.org.uk/next-of-kin
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Not entirely the case, I also checked following what people here said, the NHS standard practice does include the medical professional consulting with your family to get an idea of what you might want - the doctor would ultimately make the decision, but it can be influenced.
Zealousideal_Sir5421@reddit
You can lie, give a random name and number. If it’s something important like a surgery then it’s better to be honest and tell them you don’t have one but anything else is fine.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Lying comes with a risk of being found out, and I don't lie for personal reasons anyway.
Roxygen1@reddit
Do you have a landlord?
It's good to have someone who has a key to your home, and can let themselves in if no one can get hold of you (eg. if you've passed out unconscious)
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Yes but I wouldn't want them to know either.
I suspect if I pass out unconscious at home and the situation is life threatening, then I'm probably just going to die. That's more a problem of r/LivingAlone then it being required to give contact details as a prerequisite for attending an event.
wearecake@reddit
OP, is there a reason you don’t want anyone in your life to be notified say if you end up in hospital?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
My family have always been quite overprotective around my health for well-intentioned reasons but in a way that has put me off letting them know about stuff like this.
Only_Parking_3270@reddit
Hi OP, a similar thing happened to me when we moved to a new country and I knew zero people. We landed and 2 days later my kids started school. The school needed a non parent emergency contact for emergencies. I had nobody to put and the HR lady at work said I could put her.
I think from your replies that you have a job in the medical field so it would be a good idea to put someone from work as they would need to be informed if there was an emergency situation anyway. Remember that your emergency number would only be used if you were unable to communicate yourself- they wouldn’t call it if you forgot your sandwiches or turned up late.
Netlifeathome@reddit
I just have a standard fake set of details I use for everything from DOB to next of kin etc with working random phone numbers that will pass any basic test. None of it will work in an emergency but I don't want or need it to.
Teawillfixit@reddit
I either don't put anything/put NA or if the form won't submit without I use an ancient old telephone number i memorised in childhood and my dad's name (who is dead so obvs doesn't have a active phone line). The phone line no longer works (I check every so often just in case it's been reassigned)..
Don't overthink this, I've had to call emergency contacts at work, and I'll just leave a message and abandon it if I can't find anyone.I cannot see any issues for you or the provider?
Way I see it is that if I'm that badly injured or unconscious they need to call my emergency contact, I'm not going to care about this. Only time I've changed this was when I had an operation and I put my hr depts details in case something went wrong and I wouldn't be able to call in.
BrownBreadx@reddit
I was in this exact situation when I moved area and knew nobody. Under emergency contact I wrote 999 and it was accepted.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
i have put in a neighbor who i am friendly with before. of course i asked them before
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I don't have any friends or neighbours unfortunately.
Cultural_Tank_6947@reddit
Surely you have neighbours. They may not be friends.
But as others have suggested, and you've acknowledged - GP is the best case.
zilchusername@reddit
My neighbours are friendly enough we say hello when passing and we take in each others parcels but if one of them asked me to be their emergency contact I would be horrified. I’m not sure I would have the heart to say no but I would hate the responsibility if I needed to be called and I don’t know them well.
Cultural_Tank_6947@reddit
Oh absolutely, I don't think you should put a neighbour in that situation unless they really are amongst your best friends.
iocheaira@reddit
I like to think I would be happy to be there if needed
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
No I live in a maisonette, so shops either side. And they don't know who I am (like .... they know what I look like and that I live here, that's about it).
EFN2008@reddit
Mine is my flatmate, but the GP suggestion is a good shout.
Fuzzy-Iron-2504@reddit
This is a tough one, but is it not possible to put someone down that you work with, I know it’s not someone personally in your bubble but at least if something does happen. I don’t have many friends or family so I get it.
Macky93@reddit
I use my parents, despite living 7500km away from them in western Canada
FakeNordicAlien@reddit
I usually tell them I don’t have one and they’re fine with that. If they insist on having one, I put down my GP.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
The GP suggestion is the most viable one so far, and one I am likely to try going forward.
Mavisssss@reddit
I was so hoping you'd go with random religious leader you'd never met and would be able to report back on it if you went to hospital for appendicitis and then were wheeled out after an operation and there was a rabbi or pastor or imam waiting there, or maybe a Hare Krishna or scientologist.
ArwensArtHole@reddit
I dunno, the guy who suggested the local kebab shop is a strong contender
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
!answer
WeAreAllSoFucked23@reddit
My husband had a young employee that he supervised who came from a shit home life. My husband spent a lot of time mentoring him.
They were working a job that required a clearance and an emergency contact. The guy left it blank and the PM came to my husband as his supervisor. He told him he had to fill it out. He later found out the guy listed my hubs as his emergency contact.
paddlingswan@reddit
Put your GP? At least they have a record of your allergies.
imtravelingalone@reddit
Haven't got one of them either tbf.
kerry_mucklowe@reddit
How haven’t you got a GP? Have a look here and see where your nearest one is. https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/gps/how-to-register-with-a-gp-surgery/ you can do it all online, there’s no need to visit the surgery beforehand.
If your nearest surgery won’t let you register because you don’t have ID or proof of address or if you don’t have an address because you are homeless, then complain to your local ICB as they aren’t allowed to do that.
wearecake@reddit
To add on, your local Citizens advice may be able to help the process of necessary
Omg_stop@reddit
Are you eligible for one? If so, is there a reason you haven't registered for one yet?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Yeah probably the best suggestion, I'll try that and see.
glytxh@reddit
Mine is my cat. She has the same phone number as me.
Hot-Box1054@reddit
I’ve always wondered this question
wivsta@reddit
I’m Australian but I can be your emergent contact if you like.
It might not ever come up, but I’m here if you need me.
iJobama@reddit
I always put 999. If I'm on fire, 999. If I'm badly injured, 999. And if I've committed a crime, 999.
It gets mixed reviews.
spidertattootim@reddit
Imagine you've got a pet cat, if you have an accident and you're in a coma, who would know to make sure your cat didn't starve to death?
You're not the only person to be alienated from their family, but I think you really need to make some friends because having absolutely nobody that can be contacted on your behalf in an emergency is a pretty sad way to live.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
So following the contributions and my own reflection, I have settled on a plan that involves giving the contact details of someone who can make that arrangement.
I did try, but I wasn't successful.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Is there really no one you would want them to contact if you died? If not, you should try and become less isolated. That level of social isolation is not good.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I tried. I don't have the energy anymore.
itsaride@reddit
If this is by absolute choice then ignore the following.
Have you considered volunteering? There's also a lot of charities specifically geared towards befriending although a lot them have specific criteria. Wish the government, any government would seriously try to address the loneliness epidemic in this country.
https://befriending.co.uk/organisations-directory/
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I do a lot of volunteering already. I am not sure if Befriending is for me.
skeletonclock@reddit
If you're comfortable saying where you live, maybe a nearby Redditor will volunteer to be your emergency friend? I will if you're near Nottingham.
ambergriswoldo@reddit
Maybe your landlord / letting agent or a trusted neighbour? That could be useful if they need to access your home for safety reasons?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Would not want my landlord knowing, and I don't really know my neighbours.
ambergriswoldo@reddit
I get that but if suddenly you aren’t paying rent it would be better that they know you’re stuck unconscious in hospital than just not bothering.
Your profile says you have a cat? If something happened to you then it would be good if someone knew to check in on pets
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Oh, my rent comes out of my account automatically.
I do have people checking in on my cats when I'm away that long.
At this point, having had the chance to review what other people have suggested, and reflect, I have actually in fact written a document to give my cat checkers that explains I will make them my emergency contact, and what to do in the situation they get called to say I've been incapacitated. And I think that'll be what I do going forward.
I also have a card on me with the details of who should take responsibility of my cats if I am killed or long-term incapacitated.
ambergriswoldo@reddit
I think giving whoever is caring for the cats as the emergency contact is a good idea
In terms of the rent thing - I have a family member who was in a coma for 4 months - they’re fine now but had no income from work coming in during their time in hospital so there wasn’t enough in their account to cover bills. If we hadn’t been able to contact companies on their behalf to advise of the situation it would have been even more stressful for them to deal with when they had recovered.
LilacScentedStoat@reddit
It's for if you die.
Even if you're estranged from your parents,they still need tomorrow if you get killed.
Sorry to be blunt
Bec21-21@reddit
If you are estranged , why would your parents need to know about your death?
I am estranged from a parent. I don’t expect to be informed when they die and would expect them to be notified if I do. Honestly, I think it would be odd to track down someone the dead person was not in contact with.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
To be fair, I am not estranged, at least not in the way the word suggests. I just don't want them to make decisions for me while I'm still alive. Once I am dead whatever I guess.
Echoshungryhippos@reddit
What kind of decisions do you think your ICE contact is going to make for you? It's not a legal role where they can make decisions over your care or life. It's just someone to contact so that someone knows what's happened and can feed your cat, visit you in hospital, tell your work/parents/friends or do nothing at all.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That's fair, but I still would not want my family knowing, even if they cannot make decisions.
LilacScentedStoat@reddit
Body claim, legal identification, give family options to claim the corpse and arrange funerals etc.
The dead might have pets in house that would need feeding and watering etc.
The dead may have an estate that would need sorting, a home dust may need packing up etc.
Sure the dead won't care, they're dead, but the world doesn't stop and bills, property, legal issues still need to be sorted.
SnooHabits8484@reddit
Why should OP give a shit?
Just put any old thing down, OP.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
If I put down a 'fake' one, I risk getting banned from future events.
pgnlzbth@reddit
They will never know it’s fake. Unless something happens to you, in which case… it’s not really your problem
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Why would it not be my problem? I've literally explained in the comment you replied to how it would be ...
pgnlzbth@reddit
If something happens to you and they make a call… the least of your problems (at the least of their concerns I’m sure) is banning you from future events, is what I mean. But, whatever.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Only while the incident is happening, if I recover then I have to deal with it.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I am sure if I die, the police will inform my family which a quick Google search suggests would be the outcome if I were to, say, get run over in the street and killed. The advantage here is the event organisers will know who I am so there'd need to be no investigation work to work that out, and finding who my family are isn't hard from that.
Asher-D@reddit
Make up a name and put a random number?
There have been times where I could put an emergency contact down but frankly if there was an emergency I didn't want them making decisions or being notified, I wasn't comfortabLe with it and that's what I do, just make up something unless there's actually someone I want them to contact.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think if they ever felt the need to call that number, there's the significant risk of discovering it was made up, and that coming with the consequence of a ban from events. That's not a risk I am willing to take.
BeccaLaydee@reddit
Use your own number? If you are already providing them with one, get a free sim card from any provider, activate it and use that number. Doesn't need to actually be used in a handset but if you really wanted to and if you have dual sim slots for your phone, have both sims in your phone. Problem solved
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Anytime you lie, you risk getting found out, these people would be aggravating to discover that and a ban is absolutely a likely consequence to lying on a safety/insurance thing.
BeccaLaydee@reddit
Then why ask for advice on reddit if you have already decided to tell them you dont have an emergency contact. We're all only trying to help because of your post.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Because my post wasn't asking for how to deceive them, it was asking for legitimate ideas. Such as the GP one many people gave.
BlitzieTattoos@reddit
What are they going to do? Trace the made up number to a sim, attempt to find the cctv of someone purchasing the sim to see if it's you just to ban you from an event? That's the only way they would ever find out you deliberately gave them a wrong number. Most likely they'll just assume there's no answer and go about the process they normally do with people that no next of kin.
They're not the MI5 trying to trace a terrorist, an emergency contact is just them making sure they can contact someone you WANT to be contacted in event of an emergency. You're entering crackpot territory here. Everything ok with you?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think you are vastly underestimating how easy it is to unravel a lie. And they don't need to prove it either, just suspect it.
Also at this point they'd be as likely to stumble across this post as anything XD
BlitzieTattoos@reddit
Or you're overestimating it and forgetting that we're all just humans and companies, government, police and everything else aren't some omnipotent super being that knows everything. It's just a bunch of people. But let's play out the whole thought experiment. What kind of entity is going to care that much to go to that kind of length to confirm a name and number doesn't belong to someone you know just to ban you from an event? Especially if you consider how much time, money and effort it would take to find all that information. Why would they even bother if its just to ban you from an event?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
As I said, they don't need to confirm. Just suspect it.
BlitzieTattoos@reddit
Yeah... Crackpot territory. If you're trolling or something, sound I get it, I was about when 4chan started the whole flat earth thing that still has reddit frothing at the mouth but if not then you really need to talk to a therapist. As someone with bipolar disorder this kind of paranoid delusions usually end up leading to much worse ones if left unchecked.
Take care of yourself kiddo.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Okay now you're just being unkind, and there is no need. You just need to accept what I am explaining to you if you're wanting to contribute usefully. Although I mean given you've just identified as the kind of person who was on 4chan, I don't expect that's your intent here.
racsssss@reddit
Buy a pay as you go sim card, activate it by putting it in your phone once (or put it in an old phone as a spare) and then just use that number.
But really you're over thinking this, the last thing people will care about when you're in emergency contact territory is banning you from an event; they'll try it once, go to voicemail then hand it over to the emergency services who will obviously not snitch on you lol
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That's not a certainty. They could try it a few times. The in-house medical team would feed back if they ended up being the ones to try it.
OutdoorApplause@reddit
A mobile phone number going unanswered means nothing. Lots of people won't answer their phone to unknown callers whether they're genuine or not.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Which is exactly the reason why they would go 'hey so your emergency contact didn't pick up, did you let them know they might be contacted?' etc.
OutdoorApplause@reddit
No one pre warns an emergency contact they're putting them down. I never have. You just say, oh I don't know. Or you say nothing because you're incapacitated and at that point responsibility for contacting someone about you falls to the hospital or council or someone.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
They don't? Seems quite ... assumptious to do so. Also pretty sure it's not generally considered acceptable to give out people's numbers without their consent.
BlueFlamingoes@reddit
And you can always go "oops wrote the number wrong"
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Anytime you lie, you risk getting found out, these people would be aggravating to discover that and a ban is absolutely a likely consequence to lying on a safety/insurance thing.
saludpesetasamor@reddit
I have this problem too. I’m very isolated, most of my family are dead, and the two that remain are the LAST people on earth I would want making any medical decisions about me if I were incapacitated (terrible people, NC for a good reason).
I have an old friend from school who lives 200 miles away and can’t actually do anything if there’s an emergency, but I use her name and contact info (with her permission) just in case I croak so at least she’ll know. I don’t know what else I can do really.
GlitchingGecko@reddit
Clearly we need a subreddit for you all and you can buddy up purely based on location.
Mountain-Distance576@reddit
this is actually potentially a great idea
ShihtzuMum39@reddit
Assuming they are asking for a contact in the event you are incapacitated by an accident etc and need to give a number to emergency services?
Make an advanced decision and care and treatment and lodge this with a Solicitor in the same way you would a will. Put the Solicitor’s firm as the emergency contact and reference you have an advanced decision in place.
Mountain-Distance576@reddit
I struggle with this, I don't have anyone. last time I was admitted to hospital the only person who knew was me and the medical staff working there, and my boss as I had to tell them I wouldn't be in work.
I was basically forced to put someone, so I put my estranged parent on there - but luckily they didn't contact them.
next time I think I will just put N/A, or maybe the name of a friend - but there is no-one I am really close to and honestly it feels like a big thing to ask them. like I guess the contact is there incase I died or went into a coma or was unconscious for whatever reason, idk what my friend could do as I've got one I've known for a while but still idk what I should do really. would be unfair to put him down I think, I'd have to ask him first if I did it.
It's a massive gap, pretty much every institution seems to assume/require someone to have a next of kin etc, many don't have one.
_Cridders_@reddit
I dislocated me knee quite badly once and they didn't start operating until my Dad was able come in and signed off on it. I was an adult at the time, about 20, but presumably too fucked on morphine by that time to be seen able to make any decisions.
I only found this out afterwards, but it seemed mental to me tbh, it seems like there should be something like a donor card where you say, "Do whatever you think will keep me alive/leg attached to me"
PhotographShoddy2846@reddit
You must have mixed something up, in the UK your next of kin isn't "signing off' on such things, it's the doctors' decision, and they do whatever they think is best regardless of who's there or not. It's possible they thought they had time to wait for your dad, so he could see you before they wheeled you away for surgery.
_Cridders_@reddit
I may very well be, this was all told to me afterwards so may have got a bit lost in translation. The first thing I knew once the ambulance came was waking up with a massive scar. I'll ask, as I'm not sure myself now 👍
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That seems odd to me, because as a clinician myself, we *are* empowered to make decisions for our patients if they cannot consent or in certain situations even against their consent if it is to save life or limb.
The only reason I can think of them waiting for someone to make a decision is it wasn't limb-threatening yet.
_Cridders_@reddit
Yeah I'm not entirety sure because I don't remember anything after the ambulance turned up, I just know my mates who were with me were panicking because no one was answering (it must have been midnight by this point). It was limb threatening because there was a bit more to it, it'd trapped an artery so there was no blood supply below my knee, my foot was cold when the ambulance tuned up. The surgery that night wasn't for the ligament reconstruction but vascular, to re-establish blood supply below my knee. I know afterwards the phrase, "We'll do everything we can so save the limb" was used.
Clear_Raisin@reddit
are you close with your boss? or the boss before your current? id trust mine to be my emergency contact. if not, i agree with someone saying your gp.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I don't think I'd want them to know without my approval.
Clear_Raisin@reddit
in an emergency, you need someone reliable, trustworthy and capable of making sound decisions. if your boss is that, i'd take my chances personally, especially in an emergency. but that would also go for a neighbour, friend, colleague etc. hopefully someone comes to mind for you
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Any decisions that need doing I am happy to leave to whatever clinician is treating me.
Clear_Raisin@reddit
have at it
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
I'd put your doctor as the contact.
And take this the right way and from someone with mental health issues, go and talk to your doctor as you may need some support from your posts (anxiety / paranoia) - and I mean that in a good way.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I don't have paranoia, my anxiety is already diagnosed. But putting my GP is so far the best suggestion given here.
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
You might want to get a second opinion. Anxiety and paranoia can blur. The brain is a complex beast.
From someone who has been through severe mental health issues, it is rarely binary. Anxiety, paranoia, depression and psychosis can all blur and each can be to a greater or lesser extent.
I mean this in a good way as an objective observer, as your post is not totally rational.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Sure, but too much of my worries get proven true for me to really be comforted that it's paranoia at this point.
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
I suggest you take a second opinion. Our brains are super complex beasties that can equally manipulate us. Your perception of reality might be at odds with reality, but its often your brain being a total bastard to you.
I had mild psychosis for a period and honestly I could not differentiate reality from photo realistic dreams.
I'm not suggesting that you have psychosis, but I am challenging "too much of my worries get proven true for me to really be comforted that it's paranoia at this point" as being a possible flag.
Again, I mean this in a good way.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Oh I am absolutely symptomatic of some degree psychosis. I'll always bring this up with any medical professional I have access to, but as it stands, I feel there is enough evidence that enough of my beliefs are substantiated for it to all be social paranoia.
lungbong@reddit
A colleague of mine put his boss down, if he had an emergency that meant he couldn't get to work then he'd want his boss to know. He also had a pension and death in service benefit where the beneficiary was a charity that was very important to him and in the event of his death wanted to be sure that his employer knew what had happened.
Accurate_Molasses853@reddit
Just put your own number or with on digit changed and a random name
Leather_Rate_9785@reddit
Who is your next of kin? Like it or not, since you have living relatives you definitely have one.
OMGItsCheezWTF@reddit
Intestate rules don't really apply here, and there's no such thing as medical next of kin in the UK.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
My parents
Leather_Rate_9785@reddit
Well there you go, without an emergency contact, eventually they will contact your parents.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That's fine and nothing I can stop. But I assume it would happen when the NHS decided it was needed, and that's fine with me.
jasilucy@reddit
999
Boring_Intern_6394@reddit
Whoever the executor of your will is
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Good suggestion, and a reminder that I should sort a will out.
whooptheretis@reddit
You ok, bud?
Genuinely... you ok?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
No
Forward_Win_4353@reddit
OP, I mean this in a completely neutral way: are you autistic?
I’m autistic myself, do not have any friends but in my case I’m lucky enough to have my parents. From reading your post and comments - both the content and the writing style - I sensed autism, but I could be wrong.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Yes
nuageophone@reddit
You have no friends?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Nope
Willing_Coconut4364@reddit
I always put down my ex wife. She's useless in an emergency but I have no other contacts too.
RobertTheSpruce@reddit
I put down 999 as the emergency contact number.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think they would think I was taking the mick
RobertTheSpruce@reddit
Done it for several running races including fell races. Nobody even read it while I was there.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Okay. As established, sometimes they do read it.
anti-sugar_dependant@reddit
I put N/A. If they really insist I put my own name and number.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I can't see them accepting that if they don't accept NA ....
_Hoping_For_Better_@reddit
I've put my own before. It's not been picked up that it's the same. If you have a land line or a 2nd number use that. They won't find out until they need to call it.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
And then if they do, I risk getting in trouble and banned.
Lysadora@reddit
Has this happened to anyone, ever? Getting this anxious over something that is this unlikely to happen isn't healthy.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I do not know about this exact situation (lying about emergency contact), but yes people have been banned for aggravating the event runners around issues to do with health and safety. The event runners are not obliged to allow you at the event, and 'this person caused our first aiders stress by giving them a false number' is comparable to other reasons I know of people being banned.
PhotographShoddy2846@reddit
Mate, no one can solve this for you if you're not ready to make up a number or put down literally any number, such as work manager or landlord. At a stretch, buy a SIM for under £10 and put that down. In the extremely unlikely scenario that they call, no one will pick up. They're not gonna chase it, end of story. They need one, you don't have one. Unless you do what anyone else would in this situation, see above.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
'They're not gonna chase it, end of story.' Given I know these people better, I am more inclined to believe that not to be the cause.
anti-sugar_dependant@reddit
Always worked on those online forms that require an input. I guess nobody thinks to code the requirement to check the emergency contact name and number isn't the same as the person on the forms name and number. I've never had anyone irl refuse to accept N/A.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Right but when they manually read it themselves ... not all the events I go to are so big that this doesn't happen (hence why I sometimes get people coming back to me going 'we can't accept 'NA'').
anti-sugar_dependant@reddit
Make one up then. Or traumatise them by telling them why you don't have any family or friends. As someone who also doesn't have any family or friends I'd feel comfortable putting as an emergency contact I have a selection of deeply traumatising stories I will happily trauma dump on someone who says something stupid like "you must have someone" or "you only get one mum".
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I have told people I don't have anyone and their response is 'well we need one.'
Making one up and that being discovered is too high a risk that could lead to me being banned from future events.
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
They won't discover and ban you from future events, I think you are being a little paranoid.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think you need to substantiate that. It's extremely easy to suspect or discover, and lying on what is meant to be a safety and insurance and legal thing is very much a cause that I imagine would lead to a ban, I'm not sure why you would think otherwise even without the context of knowing these event organisers and other incidents that have caused people to be banned.
Icy_Bit_403@reddit
You're being a little rigid here btw. That probably isn't helping with the social interactions. The rule "you must have an emergency contact" is unanswerable by you and is not a legal requirement. If you really need an emergency contact you can either make it up, or find someone, anyone, who would be useful. If you want help thinking of someone I'd suggest a landlord? They'd need to know I guess. Or a neighbour. They wouldn't have power to make decisions for you it's just a box to reassure events organisers that someone would know if you were dangerously hurt.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I wouldn't want my landlord to know. I think my anxiety around just picking someone randomly is it does feel like I am putting a responsibility on them to be my emergency contact, and it feels like that requires more than just being an acquaintance? I suppose I could put a post on my Facebook to see if anyone is keen ...
forgottenoldusername@reddit
It's harsh but I literally did this today.
Family are abusive and I refuse to have anything to do with them, and my missus has terminal cancer and I've lost my social group through caring for her.
I just bluntly said "I mean, I can give you my partner, but she's in a hospice so not sure how useful it'll be" and the poor sod looked so distressed.
Shouldn't have pushed though 🤷
PhotographShoddy2846@reddit
You don't need to discuss these things with them. They would only ever call if you died or was taken away unconscious by ambulance. Just make up a name and number and done, this is not a massive issue.
Fragrant-Attorney-73@reddit
I just put my own second phone number in
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Would cause an issue if they ever did call it, then question me on why they couldn't get through to someone, I'd have to lie then which I am not going to do.
AllThatIHaveDone@reddit
No one is going to be calling your emergency contact unless it's an emergency and you are incapacitated. At that point, your second phone calling will be the least of your problems.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
But it won't be the least of *their* problems, and then it will be my consequence to deal with when I have recovered.
AllThatIHaveDone@reddit
You are massively overthinking this.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Elucidate
juronich@reddit
The emergency contact is useful but also a tickbox exercise, there's going to be many times an emergency contact doesn't answer (not available, wrong number given, doesn't answer calls from unknown numbers etc.); if the organisation you've given it to can't get through that's as far as it will go, they've done their bit and will just leave you in the hands of medical professionals (assuming you're injured)
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I don't think it's unlikely that they wouldn't at least, for example, ask me afterwards 'we couldn't reach your emergency contact, did you let them know they might be, maybe it's worth speaking with them' - discussions that can easily catch me out in a lie if I did then decide to continue the deception.
I mean - I have even seen it said on some forms 'make sure your emergency contact is aware and contactable during this event'.
juronich@reddit
What kind of event is it? Is it particularly high-risk? How often do emergencies happen with these events where an emergency contact is called?
Nobody can really be expected to be in control of their emergency contact and can guarantee they answer, that they've not gone into a no-signal area, not noticed their phone ringing etc.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
There's a real possibility of being incapacitated at these events, yes.
Sure - I'm not saying they'd jump to assuming I'd being deceptive, only that it's possible to catch that once I am asked about it.
juronich@reddit
"What happened to your emergency contact? we couldn't reach them"
"I don't know"
I do think you're overthinking this; if something incapacitates you during the event - worry about that, not this!
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Anytime you lie, you risk getting caught out. I might get away with it, but it's not a risk that I feel is justified. And also I don't lie.
Ambitious_Revenue_84@reddit
You can appoint a solicitor as your LPA and as such he/she would be your emergency contact. However this would be expensive and would need you to have put in place things like an insurance policy to cover funeral and estate costs including probate. I suggest the easier thing to do is start cultivating friends. Join a church group, take a night class, find an interest you can meet like minded people. No one should go through life alone!
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
At this point, the idea of trying to make friends exhausts me. I have tried and not succeeded.
TheUnSungHero7790@reddit
Make one up
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Anytime you lie, you risk getting found out, these people would be aggravating to discover that and a ban is absolutely a likely consequence to lying on a safety/insurance thing.
OldGodsAndNew@reddit
Who are "these people" and what events are these?
I regularly do running races where you're supposed to provide an emergency contact by writing it on the back of your number, half the time I forget and leave it blank and nobody has ever cared
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
The event organisers, the events are various. But the point is - I do put NA. Sometimes I'm not challenged on it - great. Sometimes they come back and are like 'no we need a real contact'.
Glittering_Spring465@reddit
I just make up a name and number. Maybe we could put each other down in the future.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think if they ever felt the need to call that number, there's the significant risk of discovering it was made up, and that coming with the consequence of a ban from events. That's not a risk I am willing to take.
OldGodsAndNew@reddit
You're massively overthinking this
Put 123456789, nobody will care
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
If they care enough to challenge me over putting 'NA', they'll challenge me over that.
Smush2345@reddit
I second the GP suggestion. I also see you have cats. Do you have a plan for what should happen to them if you have a medical emergency or die?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Yes, someone I used to know has agreed to take them in if I die, but we are estranged from each other and I never got their consent to give their number out as an emergency contact (well ... I did when we were talking, but the more years that pass, it feels weirder to keep using it). I have a card on me I got online that says 'I live alone and here is who you need to contact about my cats'.
Smush2345@reddit
Technically that's your emergency contact then. If you're incapacitated enough to warrant the event organisers calling your emergency contact, it would be an emergency for the cats to be left without anyone to take care of them. You should probably make sure that person is still alive and has the same number if you've been estranged for many years. Might be worth contacting a local pet sitter or animal charity and asking them if they have any systems in place for solo pet owners in an emergency.
strawberrychief@reddit
Who's in your will? Put them.
International_Fig150@reddit
They've literally said they have no one- why would they have a will?
No disrespect OP i have 2 people in my life and no desire for anyone.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I mean I have people who should and would inherit from me I guess, but that doesn't make them people I want involved in the situations I imagine the call may be needed,
juronich@reddit
If you don't have a will any assets remaining from your estate will be inherited by your closest family members. If you don't want that to happen you can get a will leaving your money to a cat charity instead for example
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
No that's fine. I have a better preference, but if I die before I arrange that, they would fulfil the obligatory parts of distributing my assets.
anti-sugar_dependant@reddit
The local cat charity? Lol.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I don't have one yet, which is admittedly not a great thing, but that's a different problem. Perhaps solving that will solve this.
cashingmas@reddit
If you are involved in a medical emergency, or similar, and are unable to make your wishes known, the doctors will act in your best interest. Even if you were married or had a very close 'next of kin', they would not seek decision making from that person before acting, unless they had an official power of attorney document already in place.
The emergency contact number is just that, someone to alert if you were in an emergency situation, they would not be called upon to make decisions regarding treatment.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
But I don't have anyone I would need to alert.
cashingmas@reddit
You can say that you do not wish to give a name. As far as I understand it, there is no legal requirement to provide a next of kin, but also an insurer is allowed to refuse cover to someone who declines to nominate someone.
However, this might be a question for a more specialist legal advice sub, r/LegalAdviceUK for example?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Exactly - the event isn't obliged to let me attend, so if they make an emergency contact a prerequisite, and I don't fulfil that, they can just go 'okay well we won't be seeing you then'.
LazySector@reddit
I just put 999
PrincessPK475@reddit
The number for the local council? They're going to be the ones responsible for you if you are incapacitated
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Why would the council be local council be responsible?
Nope - I have had people straight up refuse to accept anything but someone's name and number.
PrincessPK475@reddit
Because they are the ones who will need to make arrangements for your care or funeral should the worst happen.
I'm aware you've had people tell you as such... I'm telling you that they are wrong and have misunderstood. if they don't accept NA and want to be shitty about it, then put their number down.
Your situation isn't unique. Insurance has processes and policies in place for not being able to contact next of kin or whoever.
If you're determined to put a legitimate contact (and I can't emphasise enough you are not required to, your volunteer group are confidently incorrect) - then any of the following make sense and will know what to do if contacted by an insurer: local council social services, GP, a solicitor that has done your will or that you've arranged to have power of attorney.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I assume my family would do my funeral arrangements, not the council?
PrincessPK475@reddit
Not necessarily, they can refuse to claim you or if you've made clear in a will that absolutely anyone but them are to be contacted or if they can't track and connect them to you, then you become the councils problem by default
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Ah. In my situation they wouldn't refuse to claim me.
Tchoqyaleh@reddit
Commenting to follow. Most of my closest friends live in other cities or countries. I was planning to look into having a solicitor be my emergency contact - maybe after I've written a will, and keeping the same solicitor.
gtr455677ujbvxz4@reddit
Put NA or leave it blank. Or make a name and # up.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
If I can put NA, I do. But often I get told I need to provide someone (as I said in my OP, sometimes they insist they need it for insurance or policy, and it is a requirement to attend the event). Making up a name risks me getting in trouble and banned from future events if they do call it, don't get through to someone/get to someone who clearly doesn't know me, and they ask me about it when I recover.
DrHenryWu@reddit
Put your number and a fake name? They won't get through so will never know
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
It's highly likely the event organisers would also have my number.
DrHenryWu@reddit
Doubt they would cross check anything. Might realise when they rang you but unless it's saved on a phone how would they know? Really depends on what you mean by event and how the details are stored but I would just risk it
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think it would risk annoying them, and I'd like to avoid that.
DrHenryWu@reddit
Maybe you could get someone on Reddit to volunteer for you. Be careful for weirdos though
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think that would also annoy them.
avalanchefan95@reddit
Whoops. Must have entered the number a digit off. You're seriously over complicating this.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That would require lying which I am not going to do, both because I don't lie and it is still a risk, all they need to do is find out, not worth it.
PhotographShoddy2846@reddit
You can always say you made an error when putting down the number.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
That would require lying which I am not going to do, both because I don't lie and it is still a risk, all they need to do is find out, not worth it.
jez_24@reddit
For life insurance it makes sense. Who are they supposed to pay if you die?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Presumably not my emergency contact??? I'm sure that would be dealt with not at that moment but like ... legally.
gtr455677ujbvxz4@reddit
You're over thinking this. If they call it you have bigger things to worry about. If someone does call it and you get aksed just say you must have got the # wrong.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Not necessarily, you're assuming a worst case situation and not an injury that incapacitates me but is actually fairly survivable. That would require lying which I am not going to do, both because I don't lie and it is still a risk, all they need to do is find out, not worth it.
morbidcuriosity123@reddit
My work kept demanding a emergency contact so I put down 999.. said you only gonna need to contact someone on my behalf if im non responsive so 999 would be good.
cpb21@reddit
If you're in the UK you can list 999 as your emergency contact and it leaves any medical decisions down to the senior consultant on duty.
superduperbongodrums@reddit
I did not know this - interesting
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
It’s a contact. Nothing else. Not passing life and death decisions to someone on a form for a gig.
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
Wrong. An emergency contact is not the same as passing medical decisions to another party.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I have a strong suspicion and also an anxiety they'd think I was taking the mick.
Far_Macaron_2622@reddit
Look at it another way if you pass do you want government to have any assets you have or a friend or relative. Government certainly do not deserve it.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I don't think that has anything to do with my emergency contact.
cankennykencan@reddit
Could put your GP but if something did go wrong they would be put in a queue of 21 and would have to call up at 8am
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Yeah but I guess at least they know who'd they be calling
Few_Total_919@reddit
I am in the same situation, I work as a contractor and regularly have to supply this information, I used to have a lot of family and friends but they have all passed away. It caused a lot of issues once when I was honest and said sorry I don't have an emergency contact people thought I was weird. So now I always just put my dead sister's name and address just to tick the box for them, because that's all they are really bothered about. At the end of the day if I die at work it's not really my problem 😄
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
By giving a contact you aren't giving that contact power of attorney over decisions, its just a contact number for "hey imaginewizard had a fall at a concert and has been taken to MadeupHospital - in case you were concerned. Their number is..." Nothing more.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
There is no one who needs to nor that I would want to know that nor that I am aware would want to know.
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
Politely I suggest you may need some counseling or other support.
If you are adamant then buy a burner SIM with almost no credit on it and use that number, assigning it to "Dave - best friend"
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Oh absolutely but I live in the UK so I get what I get.
That would involve lying, which has the risk of being discovered, and lying on a safety/insurance thing will absolutely aggravate these people, and a ban is a likely consequence of that.
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
I’m in the UK as well and none of the things you outline will happen. Thats your brain being mean to you.
I have some experience (severe anxiety/depression, 5 months off work, currently 100mg daily of Sertraline)
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I meant the support and counselling.
External-Praline-451@reddit
It's needed because the vast majority of people have someone that would like to hear about someone they care about's death or serious accident.
I'm sorry you don't have anyone, and hope putting your GP down is a good idea, but surely you can understand why it is needed? I hope you can make some friends, there's a lot of people out there who are lonely and looking for some connection in this crazy world.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
As I said in my OP, I know why people (and I get this would be most people) would want someone known - it's just the expectation that everyone has that need. I actually prefer my misfortune and injuries to be kept private and for me to decide who knows what.
External-Praline-451@reddit
Ok, sorry, when you said you didn't get why people needed it, I took you literally.
I think it's also the done thing to put "No Next of Kin." But as I said, I hope you make some connections.
To give you peace of mind, they're very strict about who can get information about you and also about what the patient consents to - my Dad is dying atm and they're so careful at checking I am NoK.
So if you say there's no next of kin, that's not a problem. It often happens and emergency services are experienced at it, especially for elderly people.
reddictedtoredit@reddit
My local pub
chin_waghing@reddit
I’ve always put 999, my next of kin and emergency contacts are clearly identified with both police and ambulance.
I’d rather someone trained telling my mother something than some woman from HR at work
LC80@reddit
Who is the executor of your will?
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I don't have a will, which is a different problem I need to solve, put potentially one which also solves this problem.
LC80@reddit
Yes- put the person closest to you in your life on the will and as your emergency contact. Also not clear from your message if you want to make friends, but it’s always possible to do, even if later in life.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
As said, I don't have anyone.
Chelz91@reddit
I may not get an answer but I’m going to ask anyway… OP why have you got no friends? Is it that you want to be alone and have nobody or what? It’d be pretty sad for something bad to happen and there to not be a soul to notify that you’re not okay. I wont pry on the family as it seems that is a personal choice
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I don't like being alone. I just am not good at making or retaining friends, and at this point I am exhausted trying. I love my family but they have historically overstepped my boundaries and wishes, all for good intentions but not in a way that respects my autonomy.
hhfugrr3@reddit
Make something up.
Beancounter_1968@reddit
Any qualified dicto or 999
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I am considering my GP, yeah
Regina_Falangy@reddit
You can also put down a solicitor as your next of kin.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Don't have one but if I ever do yeah
mellonians@reddit
This is the ideal time to have a think about what you want to happen with your body and assets should you die. Do you have any insurences like death in service benefits that will pay out? Do you want people to benefit from it? Even if it is a charity. If you have no one (or don't want anyone) to visit your grave or care for your spiritual send off you need to consider the practical management of your body. Do you want your organs donated? Would you like to be a medical cadaver? Maybe you'd like to be a brain in a jar?
If this is the case then someone like your GP should be forewarned or at least a colleague from work who's prepared to sign the paperwork to hand you over. If only to save the council the hassle of finding your family for them to deal with you and you indicated you didn't want them involved so you need to plan to avoid that.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Not being involved while I'm alive, I want them involved if I am dead.
Snoo_said_no@reddit
I put 999 down on my first proper, grown up job when pushed... I kept debating with them that I really don't have an emergency contact...
As I got older and less argumentive I'd just put down my number with a name like "Jane Smith - friend", unless I had to write my number in the same place. Then I'd just write a broadly made up one, or my first mobile number which for some inexplicable reason I still remember now!
RNEngHyp@reddit
Here's how I know a colleague of mine handle's this, they put:
GP
Church leader
Our boss at work
A far more distant relative
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
GP is probably the best idea so far, yeah
MainGeneral4813@reddit
Just write "999 - The Hospital"
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think they would think I was taking the mick
New-Resident3385@reddit
Looks like someone is training their AI reply bot here.
Jackster22@reddit
I just put down my local Domino's phone number. They will act in my vest interests.
rev667@reddit
I have exactly the same issue. I have no friends, just a few acquaintances. No family, only child parents are dead. It gets awkward when I have had hospital appointments, I just give them my employer phone number.
GrabOk460@reddit
i just write "the police" lol
Some_Ad6507@reddit
I’d put your GO down. If you’re employed, you can put HRs number
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I assume you mean 'GP' and yes, It think this is the best suggestion so far.
st1ckygusset@reddit
999
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think they would think I was taking the mick.
Zorica03@reddit
Some people put a local solicitor, eg it may be one they’ve done their Will with, as their NOK.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Maybe a reason for me to get one then.
ElvishMystical@reddit
I'm also isolated.
I give them my cat's name and my second number. See if anything happened to me I'd want someone to find my two cats as a priority.
Zealousideal-Low3388@reddit
That’s just depressing.
There’s billions of people on this earth and there’s genuinely not one person you’re close enough to, that you’d want them to know you’re dying?
I’m so sorry
forgottenoldusername@reddit
I'm in a similar boat.
Abusive family, my spouse has terminal cancer, lost all my mates through years of being her carer
It's sad, but it is what it is.
If it's for something specific I do have people I can give - dog stuff, I can give my dog trainers details because I know she would look after him. Work stuff, suppose my boss would need to know.
But shit out of luck when it comes to my own health or recreational activities 🤷
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Nope. Thank you though. Yeah it sucks.
imtravelingalone@reddit
Literally no. Friends - ones in this country aren't that close, ones in other countries - good friends but what are they supposed to do from another continent? Parents - only concerned about getting access to my bank accounts and personal belongings if something goes wrong, and if I die would try to get my body repatriated to their country which is the last thing I ever want.
HollowForgeGames@reddit
You can put mine.
I do.
I've got a wife and kids but I can only remember my own.
maceion@reddit
Put down your bank manager's name and bank contact.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
... why would I have that. Is that a thing people have?
Silver_Emu4704@reddit
I usually put a parent and I sometimes idly wonder who I put once they pass. A random friend? It's a lot to lay on someone!
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I wouldn't want my parents involved.
IntrepidMaybe8579@reddit
Put 118 118
ukbot-nicolabot@reddit
A top level comment (one that is not a reply) should be a good faith and genuine attempt to answer the question
Klakson_95@reddit
Does r/AskUK have a phone number
ukbot-nicolabot@reddit
A top level comment (one that is not a reply) should be a good faith and genuine attempt to answer the question
G_UK@reddit
I make one up
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
Would call an issue if they ever had to call it and discover I did so, I'd likely be banned from future events.
Smooth_Brilliant4083@reddit
I put my Doctor.
imaginewizard@reddit (OP)
I think this is the best idea so far, I will try this next time.
Select-Blood-1778@reddit
Put me down if you want 🤷
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