Is it normal for boss to invite team to his house on a weekend?

Posted by beaver645_@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 62 comments

My boss has invited the team to a BBQ at his house on a Saturday.

He’s fine to work for day-to-day, but the general feeling across the team is that he isn’t exactly the fun boss. For example, at Christmas parties things often feel quite stilted while he’s there, and people seem unable to fully relax because they’re conscious of what he might think. The mood usually shifts once he leaves, and people become much more relaxed and jokey.

This BBQ feels like one of those invitations that is technically optional, but feels difficult to turn down. At the same time, I think it’s a bit much to take up a Saturday during the summer for a work social event. If he really wants to host an event, shouldn’t it be done on company time? 😅

What do others think? Is this fairly normal?

[-]

thedudeabides-12@reddit

I think it's ok. I wouldn't go myself though especially if it's during my free time..

[-]

ambiguousboner@reddit

Why are British Redditors so fucking weird man

[-]

beaver645_@reddit (OP)

Says “ambiguousboner” am- yea good one mate

[-]

ambiguousboner@reddit

well that’s me told

[-]

LaurenNotABot@reddit

We went to one at my husband’s boss’s house and he had a huge swimming pool and a helipad . Bonkers but was good fun and quite relaxed

[-]

haggis_catcher-@reddit

Thanks for the invite but i have other plans this weekend

[-]

Worldly_Wafer_6635@reddit

No work event, should ever ever not be on a weekday.

You wanna have a BBQ Friday afternoon is my best offer, and yes I will still be getting paid.

[-]

SmellingThomas@reddit

Would the free food not be payment enough?

[-]

Worldly_Wafer_6635@reddit

Hell no.

Can I pay my bills with Aldi burgers?

[-]

BaBaFiCo@reddit

The typical Reddit response. Someone at work organises something social and they won't do it because they're not paid 😂

[-]

Soggy-Ad-8017@reddit

I think it’s a little deeper than this…bbq at the weekend with work colleagues? Absolutely. Feeling like there’s an unspoken pressure to attend your boss’ bbq on the weekend, taking up your personal time when there’s a reasonable chance you don’t want to go…? That’s another situation.

[-]

BaBaFiCo@reddit

The obligation is because of who is asking, not because it's a work event. Which I get. But also, everyone is overthinking it saying they should be paid to go. If the boss invited people to their wedding they'd probably say the same 🤷‍♂️

[-]

beaver645_@reddit (OP)

Spot on. Everyone is talking about how they don’t really want to go but feel obligated since he’s the boss.

[-]

Worldly_Wafer_6635@reddit

Its not all about the money, If it was paid and on a weekend, I still would not go.

[-]

RG0195@reddit

I wouldn't say it's a normal, however it seems a really nice thing for your boss to do. He's making time in his weekend to host a BBQ for his employees - you've got nothing to lose by going to it if I'm honest.

[-]

beaver645_@reddit (OP)

The problem is that our team is not social. We don’t even do after work drinks so taking up my Saturday in peak summer feels quite jarring 🤣

[-]

split-tennisball@reddit

We're not even in summer, let alone "spring peak summer"

[-]

beaver645_@reddit (OP)

The bbq is in July.

[-]

Trixcross@reddit

they may not have too many friends, and it could be a chance to get in their good graces

[-]

Splodge89@reddit

No one does after work drinks. That’s something that only exists on the telly. The closest it ever gets is a Christmas party or perhaps a couple of people meeting for a coffee once in a while.

[-]

GeggingIn@reddit

What? We go to the pub three times a week.

[-]

wybird@reddit

Please let me know what industry you work in so I know never to apply.

[-]

beaver645_@reddit (OP)

Not sure where you are based but after work drinks is very common in London.

[-]

Wizzpig25@reddit

Don’t go if you don’t want to.

[-]

Sendnoods88@reddit

Not usual but not unheard of

[-]

Fit-Bedroom-7645@reddit

Depends, my boss is sound as fuck so I'd 100% take up the offer of free scran and a bag of warm cans. Would probably need a taxi home though.

[-]

McLeod3577@reddit

It's a tricky one. A good idea is to have a stock phrase for why you can't do meetups, "I've booked to go to London for the weekend" or something like that.

Either that or go, but DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL.

[-]

First-Lengthiness-16@reddit

Or if you do drink alcohol and get too drunk, have a few lines to straighten you out

[-]

yorkspirate@reddit

This Redditor work socialises

[-]

condor789@reddit

Are you incapable of drinking alcohol and not embarrassing yourself? I get not drinking much but not at all seems extreme

[-]

Odd_Scar836@reddit

Why not drink? People drink all of the time at work social events

[-]

60percentsexpanther@reddit

My old boss used to do it and everyone had a great time.

There were 2-4 weekend socials and 1 mandatory , paid, workday social every year. The people who did well at the company went to everything.

[-]

misplacedfocus@reddit

I’ve had bosses do this. And I’ve gone to a few. Almost always partners were also invited, though. They can be fun. Also, you get to snoop on the boss’s gaff. Haha!

We have quarterly work socials (so bigger than immediate team) typically on the last Thursday of each quarter. It’s evening. They organise things (last one I went to was in winter quarter and we did skating at Somerset House). I go to 1 or 2 throughout the year.

If enough of you go, it could be fun!

[-]

Local_Beautiful3303@reddit

Ive been invited to and attended bbqs/garden parties when I've worked for smaller companies (max 20 employee's) but not when working for larger companies. Completely embarrassed myself at one getting a little too merry and playing with the bosses kids on their new trampoline 😅

As he is inviting you to his home outside of working hours for a social event its not really a work event, and its possible/likely that he will have invited some of his friends too.

Personally Id pop along for an hour or two, at the very least you'll get a free meal and a couple of drinks and it could end up actually being fun.

[-]

xxx654@reddit

These things are generally nice and the rewards can come back later in all sorts of ways. But a few tips I would have is not to drink or be very careful about pacing yourself and have a preplanned activity/plan elsewhere for later that day. It’s still a work event and it’s good to show up but set boundaries and stick to them.

[-]

TapeDeckSlick@reddit

You should go, drink 6 beers too many and call him a prick to his face

[-]

sneakycheeseplease@reddit

This 100%, or....you'll find out hes actually pretty chill outside of work and everyone will get ok better AT work??

But if hes still a funsucking prick then yeah do the first thing

[-]

ttocsy@reddit

Is it just the team, or is he having a BBQ and you're all also invited?

[-]

beaver645_@reddit (OP)

Just the team

[-]

48thgenerationroman@reddit

Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys

[-]

Plyphon@reddit

Redditor gets invited to social events, sparks thread.

More at 11.

[-]

GNAL1610@reddit

😂😂😂

[-]

Potato-starch-eater@reddit

It's not normal (it sounds like an American sitcom plot actually) but your coworkers might go and then you'll be the one that doesn't get the inside jokes from the legendary BBQ Saturday.

[-]

Party_Advantage_3733@reddit

It's fine. Clearly not a work social event, just a guy looking to make friends. Go, don't go, it's all good but hard to criticise the man for being vaguely nice and sociable.

[-]

buy_me_lozenges@reddit

Is it a work event, or is he just doing something sociable for his team?

I knew someone that would do this, throw a social event at home for his team, not for work, just as a get together, but he also used it as a hazing exercise at the same time.

[-]

ProfPMJ-123@reddit

I wouldn't say it's not normal, not least because in my 30+ years of working, I've never known this happen.

But just beacuse it's not "normal" or common, doesn't make it bad. It sounds like they're trying to make an effort, and that's a nice thing to do.

[-]

BalthazarOfTheOrions@reddit

It's not (un)usual.

The awkwardness might be more with the fact that he's the boss rather than his personality?

[-]

FranzLeFroggo@reddit

This is peak r/AskUK

[-]

BaBaFiCo@reddit

Sounds like the boss is trying to do something fun. It isn't a work event (as presumably work isn't paying for it). It's just a team socialising outside of work.

Go if you want, don't if you don't.

[-]

AutoModerator@reddit

Please help keep AskUK welcoming!

When replying to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc. If a post is marked 'Serious Answers Only' you may receive a ban for violating this rule.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!

Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.