Anon does his chores | TheaterFire

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vverbov_22@reddit

It's a no-brainer that doing chores at home is way easier than working your average 8 hours 5 days job

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Patefon2000@reddit

It greatly depends on how many people you're taking care of, how much help you get, how thorough you're with cleaning, what kind of food you eat.

Being a single with a diet consisting of eggs, chicken nuggets and instafoods is surely easier than being a parent of 3 children and trying to take care of their health through nutrition.

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lovelyrain100@reddit

In almost all cases it's gonna be easier that a regular job

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What I hear from parents is once you have kids, work starts to feel like a break, and going home feels like work. My job is 8 hours of 3D modeling stuff. I feel like taking care of the house and raising a kid would be harder work with higher stakes for longer hours (and I love cooking). I think I’d still prefer it over my job, but I don’t think I’d consider it easier.

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lovelyrain100@reddit

It would be significantly easier the moment your kid was older than 2 years . By a lot . Like a lot.

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LibatiousLlama@reddit

The age where it truly breaks is more like 7. When they are 7 they are really becoming truly independent. "Hey kid get dressed let's get in the car then go do something fun" is a single request that they can execute on, get ready and go to the bathroom etc without any input for the most part.

2-4 can be really hard, kids think they can do things like jump from the top of the stairs or charge out into a busy road cause they saw a butterfly.

Things break at 4 or 5 IMO and you are no longer on constant "how do I prevent this thing from killing itself" mode.

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lovelyrain100@reddit

2-4 year olds are kinda just fine most of the time tho. Outside of dressing and diapers and the like they're just fine.

They run around a lot and hurt themselves but it takes 2 minutes to calm them down and distract them.

Like the worst conditions would be so profusely rare.

I always feel bad for the kids whose parents talk like this. My mom loved raising me and my sisters.

It’s a shame. They didn’t ask to be born, then you treat them like they are a pain in the ass.

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Scrumptious_Foreskin@reddit

Like I said, it’s always the people without kids 🙄

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mr---jones@reddit

How do you get that from my comment? My mother would be the first to say she misses raising me and my two sisters, she would love to go back to those years compared to having to rejoin the work force post devotee.

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koopcl@reddit

Nah. I fucking adore my children, they're the best thing to happen to me and would rather kill myself than let anything bad happen to them, but I still recognize they are a pain in the ass. It's ironically more of a pain in the ass the more you love raising them, because you refuse to take the easy way of sitting them in front of a screen to keep them occupied rotting their brain, or feeding them easy-to-heat ultra processed crap, or ignore it when they complain about something as "well it will pass".

"Working in the trades was the best decision I ever made. These white collar scrubs just don't wanna work hard and get a real job"

-Wyatt, 21

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thukon@reddit

I don't have to because I have a STEM college education

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TheQuakerator@reddit

Yes, but I've done plenty of shit labor in the snow, rain, heat, etc. It's better than watching little kids all day.

I think this is only true before they're about 2. After that they gain a bit of independence, and staying at home doing chores becomes easier again.

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Sundae-School@reddit

Have fun destroying your body; hopefully it humbles your attitude when you wake up and everything hurts

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You could take them to preschool or a babysitter before age 5, but you’re gonna be paying out the ass unless you have some kind of government subsidy

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sharkbait-oo-haha@reddit

Yep.

1 kid it's about 85-120% of post tax income if your on/near minimum wage.
2 kids your better off being a stay at home parent unless your a high income earner.
3-4 kid's in the 2020s and your probably in a cult or a religious nutter anyways.

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Lexx4@reddit

Hey. I have 3 and am not a religious nutter. Just a regular nutter!

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sharkbait-oo-haha@reddit

3 is the new 5
4 is the new 7
5 is the new 9
6 is the new 12
7 is the new 15

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modomario@reddit

>They legally can't be left alone for more than 20 minutes or be more than like 200meters from you at any time or YOU end up in jail for child neglect.

merica moment

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Willy_the_Wombat24@reddit

Real

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mr---jones@reddit

And the older they get they become someone who helps you with all that shit where your partners job doesn’t get any easier.

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No-Championship-5558@reddit

If you have kids under 5 then yes that’s absolutely a double full time job on its own.

If someone isn’t working and the youngest kid is at school full time then they have a full time job in dealing with housework and kids but enough down time that its easily manageable

The real difficulty is for families where both parents work because that is essentially dealing with 2 full time jobs back to back

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"We have the weekends where we watch them" brother it sounds like you didn't want kids at all, damn.

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LibatiousLlama@reddit

Nah we are great. They are just emotionally exhausting on a whole other level that child free people are willfully ignorant about it and I'm blunt. They go to daycare during the week, we are their exclusive care givers on the weekend.

Sorry I didn't use the words you like I guess? Watch them? Care for them? Spend time with them? Raise them? Which phrase meets your weird standard?

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Not if kids are there, those jobs get done 6 times over and over all day ominous that case.

Which is why I'm not having any, fuck that lol

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FriendlyPlatypus6060@reddit

You don't have a partner or kids do you?

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mazakala3@reddit

I disagree with you based on personal experiences. Every job I've ever had has been 10x easier than taking care of my kids. I can agree that some jobs may be more difficult but I'd say it's definitely not almost all as you said

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lovelyrain100@reddit

I'd say the hardest part is when the kid is an infant or so since I'm only making guesses at that age , but beyond like 2 it's really not that hard to raise kids.

Nah man, it's difficult either way. One alone can be difficult depending on the child, but the jump from one to two is exponentially worse. Going from two to three is much less jarring of a difference and didn't really feel like a tremendous increase in workload. The difference from one to two was almost as big as going from zero to one, and I'd almosy argue it's even a bigger difference.

Ultimately kids are extremely hard work. I work full-time, my wife only works two days a week, and we both agree that work is our break from the kids, as much as we love them. I work a pretty mentally demanding and taxing job, and it's infinitely easier than any number of kids we've had.

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The_Meemeli@reddit

Put dirty clothes in machine Machine makes noises Clothes come out clean

You guys believe in this shit?

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Seelenbrechen@reddit

Do you also sit and watch your oven while it cooks the food? Or the toilet while it flushes your shit and pee?

You aren’t actively working for those 3 hours lol, you toss the clothes in which takes 5 minutes and 3 hours later you take them out and hang them to dry.

Thats maybe 20 minutes of actual work where in between you can easily do a boatload of other stuff.

Generally_Confused1@reddit

Tbh it takes me almost and hour to use the washer and dryer but I got to the laundry matt and have to stick around so that or apartment shared spaces might be the exception lol. And it can easily take and hour to put everything away when I get home depending on pace and how much I did.

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Alaykitty@reddit

2 hours for food? The fuck are you caramelizing onions for every dish or something?

Longest meal I make with regularity takes an hour at tops, and that's with cleaning as I go and cooking down coconut milk.

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

That's because men don't actually cook they just buy pre-made or slap shit on a pan the way I slap my vulva. Broth, stew, soups, take hours, salads and pasta making both takes combined time, easily 2 hours.

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Alaykitty@reddit

I'm not talking ready meals, I'm talking actually cooking. Unless I'm doing a really special dish for my wife and I, 30-45 minutes tops.

How on earth is pasta making and salads taking that long? Unless you're making the pasta by hand to start lol.

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Lucas_2234@reddit

Don't use a pot for ants to cook for an army and don't use the fucking satun V for your heat?
The only part of cooking noodles that needs you to actively do something is stirring the noodles every once a while

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

The fuck is Saturn v gtf with that nerd shit. Also I cook more elaborate fancy dishes than noodles fam, goes to show what you think passes as cooking

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Lucas_2234@reddit

I mean if you wanna be a pretentious asshole and only consider gourmet meals as cooking, sure, cooking takes a long ass time

Also lmao at calling the single greatest engineering fest of humanity "nerd shit"

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

I would say the single greatest engineering feat was that thing that dries the lettuce I use. The spinny thing. Instead of useless space nonsense. And thank you for admitting I was correct

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Bran-Muffin20@reddit

What if it over flows

dont fill your pot to the brim

or evaporates

dont leave your pot boiling for 4 hours

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

It's not that simple. The water level must be just right for cuisine.

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greedybanker3@reddit

use the correct temp and pot size. sounds like it takes you so long to do things cause you are bad at it.

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thegimboid@reddit

Wait, are you cooking your pasta, THEN making the sauce, THEN making side dishes?

You listed three tasks that should be undertaken simultaneously - and thus take you 20 minutes.

Unless you're bragging that you're terrible at timing your cooking, which is kinda strange, but if that's the way you cook, whatever works for you I guess?

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

Each one deserves my undivided attention. I am not a mongrol who makes bad food

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Alaykitty@reddit

Wife puts in way more time on the reg or she a bad cook.

Dunno what to tell you... some people are also just slow in the kitchen obviously. Or they don't multitask--some people find that harder. My wife isn't amazing at cooking and usually takes longer than me, but it's more for lack of practice.

While the water is boiling I'm prepping my veggies and cutting my herbs/spices. While my curries/sauce is thickening I'm preparing my sides or checking on my rice.
We don't do pasta much but it's quite easy unless you're, again, making the pasta itself by hand. That is a true act of love. I usually make my own pastes/pestos though, and those can be a smidge time consuming if you're not doing it during one of the cooking lulls.

To be fair I also have been cooking for over a decade, and new dishes always take a little longer than my go-to selection. But I've banged out things like sesame chicken over rice w/ an acidic salad side in the ~20 minutes it takes the rice cooker to do it's thing.

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

I pay careful attention to each and every veggie I slice and measure the water for the spaghetti precisely. I will never sink so low as doing them at the same time.

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mrThe@reddit

I mean some kind of stews may take ever longer, but with proper prep work soup can be done in like a 15 minutes and then you just wait half a hour while i boils.

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

Maybe if instead of assuming I'm white and respected Asian cultures you would know asian dishes can take even up to a full day to prepare.

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Lucas_2234@reddit

Great, there are also european dishes that take that long to prepare.

Unless you're gonna tell me that the entirety of "Asian" cuisine (I feel wrong even lumping it all together, Vietnamese food is not the same as northern chinese food which is not the same as indian food) is extremely high effort meals, it feels really dumb pulling the "But I'm asian" card. You can make (non-instant) ramen in less than an hour.

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

Non instant Ramen is ass end of asian food.

Most Asian foods really do take much much longer to prepare. Some stuff takes days and then a month or two to ferment.

Otherwise they would burn and I have to stir. Yes, also if I do both at same time the electricity overloads so I have to watch the machine while doing other things like scrolling my phone. Maybe if my bf didn't make jack shit and a piss poor peasant wage I could do it at the same time. Please understand we have different circumstances

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CrazyElk123@reddit

Please understand we have different circumstances

Some meat and vegetables with some roast potatoes is done in like 25 minutes. It’s a simple dish, but it’s balanced and it’s made with fresh ingredients. Sounds like real food to me.

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creckers@reddit

So it sounds more like there is a boyfriend problem than anything else.. This whole thread i've seen you argue with everyone. Adamant about how much you do. Trickletruthing everyone along the way.

You make "real food" and according to you it is only real if it takes around 2 hours or more to make. Then called someone racist because you claim they assumed you're white instead of asian.

Laundry takes you multiple hours and along the thread we learn you are also "gathering social media info" along the way.

You sound miserable because of the standards you've put on yourself. Or the boyfriend puts on you for that matter.

If the boyfriend complains about not getting real food. He can help out by doing it himself.

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

I agree. It is all my boyfriends fault. He never appreciates what I do for him and forgets it. He also makes me think I am the bad guy and remembers things wrong. I would say he has a thiemine deficiency so no ttp no pdh no acetyl coa no krebs clinical relevance beri beri. It would also explain how lazy he is not doing chores after a 10 hour shift.

Studies find the vast majority of jobs are filled with nothing

Lmao what studies?

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rkiive@reddit

The average adult spends 10 hours of their day at work and commuting, to then come home and spend an hour or two cooking, cleaning, showering, eating, and doing everything else.

Anyone with a functioning brain can work out that those 10 hours of being at work is worse than the 2 hours tops of chores, because most people do both.

If you believed it was real work you wouldn't have toe exaggerate to make it sound harder than it is.

Chores are real work. They're just not harder than having to go to a job.

Cooking takes an hour. It also takes basically the same amount of time regardless of portion sizes and you'd have to cook either way.

I'd debate whether vacuuming and cleaning takes 2-3 hours, but the main point is that isn't a chore you do every day. It's a once a week max. Or it takes far less time because you're on top of it.

3 hours for washing

SonOfIllicitBehavior@reddit

yea this has been a psyop for years.

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internetlad@reddit

My job is easy as fuck idk what you're talking about.

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xer0tonin@reddit

what do you do?

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intbah@reddit

I used to think like this before and maybe even a little into the early years of my marriage.

What this line of thought doesn't tell you is that the standards are different. I can survive on my standards, but I can't deny that the quality of life is better with her higher standards and thus it takes longer. This might not be the only reason, but it is at least part of the reason why married men live longer.

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Such_Quality@reddit

PLEASE tell me there's more of this

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Absolutemehguy@reddit

Woman here. I am indeed sabotaging myself with buying a shitload of bullshit which covers all the horizontal surfaces in my apartment.

Housewives are usually cleaning after two people, making all meals, doing all laundry and usually the ones complaining about how hard it is also have multiple kids. Its is difficult.

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phoebeelisa@reddit

Then why do guys complain about having to “help” with chores? Just do it then.

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EquivalentSnap@reddit

Cos they’re man children who had their mommy do it for them and haven’t grown up enough to take care of themselves. You think basic shit like chores is easy until you find yourself with someone whose incapable of basic of shit

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SeaConsideration676@reddit

because lots of dudes just came back from long shifts and want to relax. It doesn't matter male or female, whoever isn't the breadwinner should hold the fort at home

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Bay1Bri@reddit

because lots of dudes just came back from long shifts and want to relax

This isn't the 1950s that some people believe used to exist, women are mostly working as well.

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SeaConsideration676@reddit

lots of dudes still work?? then whoever doesnt work should take on household chores as i said?? do you just talk to hear your own voice?

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Bay1Bri@reddit

Most houses are set up where both people work, yet on average women still do most of the housework. All the multiple punctuation doesn't change that.

do you just talk to hear your own voice?

You simply don't know what you're talking about.

I've spent a lifetime of wrestling and bjj. Humans aren't meant to spend 10 hours tossing refrigerator and washing machines onto conveyor belts in summer. Some of those guys worked double shifts. All of those movements were unnatural and tearing a ligament somewhere. I nearly got my finger crushed and that was working one summer. Not one day without at least one injury or accident. And this was dock work. There are much worse jobs like butchery and construction.

It doesn't matter how much you eat clean or whatever, at some point the back breaks and the knees go. I couldn't do it for more than a month as a summer gig. Those dudes working to support their families deserve to go home and not move. It doesn't matter though.

You've never done it, never will do it, so it's easy to dismiss it.

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one_effin_nice_kitty@reddit

Been exposed to it all my life. Saw my dad go through it for 30 years and he's still pretty damn lulimber though missing a few fingernails, a finger tip, among many other injuries. He's not American though so the typical lack of self care wasn't present. Played rec League soccer on his spare time and still did all the lawn care, building chicken coops, and various other projects.

Just because you haven't... Doesn't mean other people can't. My dad did it with love and not as something transactional as so many labor dudes seem to have internalized.

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

Just because your dad was super dad doesn't mean Janice who gets home from an ac room filing papers does equal work as mark who's body is fucked from working in horrible conditions.

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elliotcook10@reddit

Those men can find a job that suits their lifestyle better if it’s too much they can’t do basic chores lol. Also the value/pay of your job isn’t based on how physically demanding it is so that’s kinda irrelevant to your point about who does chores when they get home. There’s a good reason programmers and software engineers make more than the laborer doing 2-5x more physical and arguably more important work. I would argue you have poor life/time management if your work life is affecting other parts of your life that much.

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MindGoblin@reddit

Just out of curiosity, how old are you and for how long have you worked heavy manual labor jobs?

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one_effin_nice_kitty@reddit

But short of 40

Off and on from teens and on. As soft as office work and as shitty as min wage demolition. Father was an industrial welder so I've been exposed to the results and culture of manual labor most of my life.

Nothing like a Latin dad to put you to work before double digits lol

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peepeeinmypajts@reddit

Lol that's fucking bullshit. See I've worked both cushy part time jobs and soul crushing manual labor ones. In manual labor jobs it was always women doing less physically intensive work slower for equal pay. I can absolutely see why some men resent women. I can see why it's more common in lower wage grunt work men than white collar jobs. And i can see why they get mad when no one listens.

My wife's an ICU nurse at Mayo Clinic. My 15-20 hour days are piss in the wind compared to the hell she deals with, and before that she was a psych nurse, and before that she was a nurse on an all-covid unit before a vaccine was cooked up and available. She did her clinicals on NICU and her first patient was a braindead toddler who had been beaten to brain death and had to have his vitals maintained so his organs could save other kids. I picked her up from work and she was bawling her fucking eyes out and I asked her if she wanted to do something else while I paid the bills, and she said this was still her calling.

I do chores because I love my wife and she's a fucking saint. That lady is getting every back rub, every little cocktail, every refill of ice water, every snuggle she ever needs. She did more than that for me when I was at my lowest, and I adore my wife.

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JaSper-percabeth@reddit

What kind of you job were you working that warranted '15-20hrs' / day? And if both of you were working crazy like that then surely you could afford house help.

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Working-Tomato8395@reddit

I was a contract line-man/field ops tech for a fiber optic company. Most jobs were short but there was always one fucking weird one that took longer than the rest. I'd be out of the house at 5:30AM and get home sometime around midnight without a lunch break.

Mf burns up eight hours daily on a 9-5, (more like nine hours with commute) and acts like it’s inconsequential.

Truly buttfucked by modern corporations and begging for more.

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Pure_Cartoonist9898@reddit

None of you ever call them standard shifts though do you? Doesn't sound as dramatic that way

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Creamysun@reddit

Because the fact that standard shifts are long is important in the context of this conversation? Are we adjective policing now or what?

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ChangingMonkfish@reddit

I think part of the problem is we (or I) just don’t think a lot of those chores need doing, or at least as regularly.

For example my girlfriend cleans the house top to bottom every Thursday and Friday. I don’t think it needs doing that regularly, once every two weeks feels more normal to me, but she wants it done every week.

Ok fine, we’ll do it every week so let’s split the work to get it done quicker. But if I say we’ll both do it (I don’t like saying “help” becasue that implies it’s still her job and I’m doing her a favour or something), she says no. If I just do it myself to give her less to do, it’s “interfering” or “not doing it right”, “just leave me alone to do it”. If I try and coordinate with her, it’s “I’m not your mum, you shouldn’t have to ask”. Same if I supposedly do something wrong and ask how she’d like it done instead.

So maybe it is best to just stay out of the way? No, because then that’s sitting around doing nothing while she does all the work.

So someone it feels she’s making a lot of this work for herself and then complaining about it, but refusing to do anything to change that.

Real problem is doing somebody else's chores, especially when you know they won't appreciate it.

maybe because I cook more elaborate with them around

I mean isn't this just you admitting that you could use just as many dishes when they're not around?

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UnsureAndUnqualified@reddit

The point is: I don't though.

Anon cooks simple meals, about what I do when I cook only for myself. But cooking for someone else isn't cooking that same meal but twice the size, it changes what you cook.

I could also use ten times as many dishes on my own, but I don't. I can only speak for my own experiences, and those say that the dishes more than double with a partner.

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Anomynous__@reddit

Sounds like its a choice

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mr---jones@reddit

2x the dishes, not 2x the work lmfao. The whole point is if you’re stay at home, you can fuck right off of you think that’s more difficult or harder to deal with than people working 9-5.

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Ani____@reddit

I mean if your partner is an asshole yeah, but I feel like normal human beings will appreciate it.

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PotatoDominatrix@reddit

Yeah but then go get a roommate who undoes literally everything you did that day, and doesn't say thank you for doing any of it.

Then keep doing that for 30 years, and try to avoid the midlife crisis.. I think that's what housewives are talking about.

But generally speaking, the people complaining the loudest about their life probably shouldn't be who you follow as an optimal goal in any situation.

If you wanted to know what makes housewives happy, I would probably start by asking the happy older housewives what kept them happy all those years.

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NCD_Lardum_AS@reddit

I think that's what housewives are talking about.

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It's kids. If you don't have kids "housewife" isn't a job, you're just unemployed.

If you have young kids + you're cooking for everyone and cleaning everything then it probably sucks more than a typical 9-5.

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Ada_Pearce@reddit

Cleaning up after yourself is easy mode, do it for an entire family while working full time and getting zero help. Who would enjoy that?

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mr---jones@reddit

If I had a roof over my head, and all the bills paid for the rest of my life, I would take that role in a heartbeat.

Spend all the time with my children that I’d never get back, that my s/o will miss out on, all well doing things for people I actually love, without a boss scolding me or shitty coworkers fighting for promotions.

mr---jones@reddit

That’s….the point though. A 5 bed 3 bath with 3 boys is on the extreme side of busy and you still phrase it as “like a full time job”.

While you are literally working a full time job.

Firstly, never in my life have I heard of people microwaving a potatoe. Secondly, that is why I said an hour in total. You put the potatoe in the oven, than you take out the steak to get to room temperature. Than you make a sauce for the potatoe, because if you eat a baked potatoe with only butter you either lost control of your life or are in a dire financial situation. Than you can sear the steak and clean up, while it rests. So you end up at around an hour in total.

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therealraggedroses@reddit

A lot of microwaves literally have a potato button.

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Nachtari4@reddit

At this point it might be a cultural difference. My microwave doesnt have it, my parents microwave doesnt have it, my friends microwave doesnt have it and I never even heard of people doing this. I would also not just chuck a potatoe straight in the oven, here it is more normal to precook them beforehand.

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therealraggedroses@reddit

Literally just google search microwave. Lmao the first pic that pops up, hmmm what is that button on there? Almost looks like it says potato on it!

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Nachtari4@reddit

Literally just google search the word microwave and take the first picture. Look how it doesnt have a potatoe button? Imagine that microwave producers, customize microwaves for the culture they want to sell them in. I have seen more microwaves with a "yoghurt" button than a potatoe button.

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therealraggedroses@reddit

That microwave literally doesn't have any buttons my dude. Lol is that a microwave from 1940?

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Nachtari4@reddit

That is a normal microwave here. Most microwaves here do not even have buttons and if they do they are the most basic like "defrost". If you want a microwaves with buttons with presets here, you can get like a fancy, expensive one. One quick look in the online shop of one of my countries biggest tech shops, tells me not a single microwave has a "potatoe" button, and the first microwave that even has preset buttons, is thrice the price of the cheapest one.

Cook steak...

Lol done in 15 minutes, lol how tf its gonna take 15 minutes to season a steak? Are you individually placing each grain of salt?

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Username928351@reddit

Are you individually placing each grain of salt?

This is insane. I like cooking, I'll always have fresh veg and make rice or pasta or some sort of potato thing, but if you cook your meat and ingredients in a pan as a sauce/curry/whatever you wanna call it you're talking half an hour. I set aside 1 hour and that's with setting up music, making a drink, enjoying the process

FindingE-Username@reddit

I don't think housework is as hard as working but if you want a balanced diet (including vegetables) and to not eat the exact same thing every day, cooking is gonna take more than 15 mins

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Dd_8630@reddit

Really? So a housewife with a husband and 3 kids can do their beds in 1-2 minutes? Cook food for 5 in 10-15 minutes? Do all laundry in a single load?

If you only spend 1-2 hrs cleaning your whole house, then you have a small house.

What about groceries? Medication? School runs?

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RedSander_Br@reddit

The greatest lie ever told was that working a full time job was better and more gratifying then taking care of your kids and watching them grow.

With twice the workforce the wages go down due to higher supply, the CEO is the one who wins in the end.

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Bay1Bri@reddit

In fairness, not all meals are 15 minute pan cooked. And I notice you mentioned nothing about vegetables, which you really should be eating for a variety of reasons. You did not mention folding the clothes, which by far takes up the most time. You did not factor in that you are doing laundry for 1 person, not an entire family with the increase in clothes as well as towels and bedding. Similarly, the floor and bathroom will be dirtier if there are more people living there. You also mentioned nothing about child care, which is huge in families that have kids and still falls mostly on women in 2-parent homes, and probably takes more time than all these other things combined.

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Emergency-Safe-3651@reddit

Mashine

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mighty_bandersnatch@reddit

I am in an interesting situation because I am a man who quit his job partially to look after the house/kids. Living single is 100% what Anon says, but looking after a family adds a lot. My M-F week looks something like this:

Basic cleaning 4h
Deep clean whatever needs it 4h
Laundry 6h (easy though)
Ferrying kids 5h (many kids)
Meal prep 5h (I might spend more but that's an average)
What I think of as "kitchen bullshit" 5h
Baking probably 4h, though it's variable
Appointments, repairs, puking kids to pick up from school, etc. - variable

A bunch of this is optional and is my own choice to improve our quality of life (e.g. baking bread saves maybe 5 bucks and takes probably 30 minutes of actual labour, so doesn't really save money)

It is about different standards and different mindsets.

Imagine a couple. They live together and girl says that she does all the housework and carries all the mental load.

She not only needs to manage and clean the house but also stuff like schedule visits to parents, think about all the celebrations and stuff like that. Manage couple's relationships and hobbies.

While the guy just chills.

They divorce.

The girl still has the same workload. Housework still takes the same amount of time, relationship management still takes the same time.

It is a proof for the girl that the guy really did not bring much to the relationship.

The guy - still chills.

It is a proof for the guy that all the housework and mental load was in the head of the girl. And he lives in a clean home. He just doesn't wash his towels two times a week by hand.

I once was eating alone and two elderly women were sitting by the other table. As it happens you hear what other people talk in situations like this. I overheard that they are discussing something. One of them says "should I make them overthink that decision" or something like that. Other says that "maybe they will like it". So they are passionately discussing some decision of other people. As it happens it was about an air frier that one of their kid wants to buy with his SO. Those ladies carry a mental load of their kids (that are in a relationship) decisions about appliences.

Imagine husbands of those ladies. Do they carry the same mental load? Most probably not.

A lot of mental load comes from anxiety and anxiety often comes from a need to control things. Often those things are other people, relationships and stuff like that.

Guys often learn that there are a lot of things they can't control. From an early age their teams don't win, they don't win. Stuff breaks and etc. So they learn about things they control and they do not. And it forms a different world view.

Girls often don't lose so much. They are often very protected and they play relationship games. Where everybody wins or feels right. Girlfriends break up and both of them are right and the other one is dumb. This paints a very different picture of the world where the more you know/control the better narrative you can have about your life where you win and you are right. So this leads to a more neurotic, anxious personality with a need to control, the need to manage.

Which leads to a very different mental load through out the life.

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Firedamp_Weaponry@reddit

So what you're saying is, women drive themselves crazy worrying about shit that doesn't warrant worrying about (did that old lady's son ASK her mother to give a shit about the air fryer he's buying and discuss it in her own time?) and somehow this is... men's fault?

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AlfredKnows@reddit

I don't think its men's fault. It is just that men and women have very different perspectives on "what NEEDS to be done" so they have a very different mental load.

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I mean, yeah, it's not hard as carrying TVs all day, but it's still unappealing and tedious chores, that no one wants to waste time on. There is not much complicated stuff in doing plumbing, too, but who loves fixing a leaking shitter?

Anyway, just split the chores and do your part. My experience matches the post. Cleaning up a small 2 bedroom appartment and washing dishes and doing my own laundry is just, yeah, 30m a day and 2h on weekends.
But then I don't have time to get groceries, get the daughter in all places she is supposed to be like clubs, school and doctors, and while i enjoy cooking, she makes most of food at home. I just like to appreciate her effort, and she appreciates mine, and it works.

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