What's the etiquette for the priority bus seats?
Posted by ScaryButt@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 218 comments
I get the bus into work every day and try to sit in the same seat at the front, you get good leg room and a nicer view and I don't get motion sit like on the raised seats.
There is a sign saying you should give these up for people with mobility problems and I always do when somebody looks a bit doddery or asks / looks like they want the seat, but today somebody said I shouldn't have sat there in the first place.
What is the general consensus on this? Do you sit in the priority seats?
SeniorMoonlight21@reddit
If there are any other seats free then I don't think you should sit in it. Other people with disabilities might get on and just not ask you to move since they'll often assume you have a hidden disability. If there are no other seats free though I do not see the issue with you sitting there, but if it was me I'd be keeping an eye out for regular seats and move to one as soon as it becomes available.
annedroiid@reddit
I wouldn't sit in a priority seat if there are other ones free. Someone might think you're disabled and not ask you to move even though in reality they have a greater need of the seat than you do.
Ranger_1302@reddit
I think that’s going a bit far. It’s fairly clear that I am not disabled. And it, of course, depends on the emptiness of the bus. I like the leg room.
Dazpiece@reddit
Many disabilities are invisible, so no, it's not necessarily "clear" to another disabled person that you too aren't a person with disabilities. Hence why they might not ask you to move even though the might need it more than you.
Ranger_1302@reddit
It’s fairly clear. You’re overestimating the number with such disabilities.
Dazpiece@reddit
I didn't make an estimation, just stated a fact that not all disabilities are "fairly obvious".
Ranger_1302@reddit
And I know. Loads of people know.
Oozlum-Bird@reddit
What you’re actually saying is that you make rash judgments based on a very brief scan, and, sadly, there are others that do the same.
Perhaps the replies on this thread will help you reconsider and open your mind a bit. Even if one person reading this reconsiders slightly that’s a move in the right direction.
Thanks for the opportunity to help raise awareness.
lems93@reddit
What’s even more concerning is that they’re a support worker for people with autism.
Ranger_1302@reddit
Nope.
rainaftermoscow@reddit
He claims he used to be registered blind. As a blind person I can safely say that you don't typically recover from that. He's full of it.
Oozlum-Bird@reddit
The majority of disability is invisible. You don’t get to decide if someone qualifies. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/dptac-position-on-non-visible-disabilities/dptac-position-statement-on-non-visible-disabilities
Etheria_system@reddit
It is estimated that 70-80% of disabilities are invisible [source] so if anything you’re underestimating how many there are.
bubblechog@reddit
I have MS and severe balance issues but just looking at me I seem fine. So no it’s not “Fairly Clear” that you are not disabled.
clitorasClive@reddit
You must be loving this weather /s
bubblechog@reddit
Just moved back to the UK after 15 years in the US. Made my husband buy an air con unit back in February so I was prepared. Mostly I’ve been hiding in my cool dark bedroom
JohnWoosDoveGuy@reddit
I have a disability which isn't immediately visible. How are you able to judge disability by sight?
Ranger_1302@reddit
I didn’t say that it was 100%. I know that there are ‘invisible disabilities’. I was registered blind and on disability allowance at once point.
TopBookChat1105@reddit
You don’t recover from being registered as legally Blind. Like basically ever.
Ranger_1302@reddit
Hahaha! Go on, tell me about my life.
TopBookChat1105@reddit
I mean you’re the one spouting nonsense.
https://www.rnib.org.uk/professionals/research-and-data/key-information-and-statistics-on-sight-loss-in-the-uk/
The RNIB say no statistics even exist for number of people in the UK who recover from being legally blind. It’s minisculely rare - some much so that the 4 mentioned each have search papers dedicated to their treatments.
AllThatIHaveDone@reddit
They work as a disability assessor for DWP 😅
ceffyl_gwyn@reddit
How is it clear?
Ranger_1302@reddit
Look at me. The same way I’d judge anyone else the same. And it would be a safe bet.
lems93@reddit
Are you being purposefully idiotic?
Ranger_1302@reddit
This is why I hate internet discourse. I know about invisible disabilities. I already mentioned how the bus would need to be free enough of seats. But the internet loves edge cases and changing the context of what was said.
lems93@reddit
The fact that you don’t realise that you aren’t aware of people with hidden disabilities because they’re hidden is completely baffling. My friend walks completely normally, however has a false leg. You would never know just by seeing them walk 2 feet along a bus, but it’s dangerous for them to walk further than the priority seating because, whilst bus drivers are supposed to wait until everyone is seated, sometimes they don’t. If the bus sets off and he isn’t sat down, the jolt would send him flying.
annedroiid@reddit
In what context does "It's fairly clear that I am not disabled" align with the concept of invisible disabilities?
Gold-Tea1520@reddit
How are you going to just look at me and see that my knee regularly just randomly collapses without warning so I need to sit on the bus, or that I have ME and can’t stand for long?
Oozlum-Bird@reddit
No it isn’t. I have a non visible disability (ASD).
I’m usually fine using other seats or standing up, and always give a seat up to someone less able to stand.
However, if the bus is really crowded and noisy, I get extremely uncomfortable and really appreciate the priority seats exist - it can make the difference between me being able to stay on the bus and having to get off.
There are quite a lot of disabilities that aren’t visible.
annedroiid@reddit
No it isn't, lots of people have disabilities that aren't visible. You don't have to have a broken leg or be old to not be able to stand for long periods on public transport.
I have a friend who has been disabled since her late teens that constantly gets harassed on public transport for sitting in the priority seating because people don't think she looks disabled.
Ranger_1302@reddit
Yeah, it is. Everyone would bet on it.
annedroiid@reddit
What a weird thing to say.
You do you, if you want to be the arbiter of who is disabled enough to get the priority seat that's your choice. You've been given plenty of other perspectives to reflect on if your aim was actually to get advice and not just be reassured that your behaviour was correct. I'm not going to argue with someone who is clearly just here to argue.
annedroiid@reddit
What a weird thing to say.
You do you, if you want to be the arbiter of who is disabled enough to get the priority seat that's your choice. You've been given plenty of other perspectives to reflect on if your aim was actually to get advice and not just be reassured that your behaviour was correct. I'm not going to argue with someone who is clearly just here to argue.
Uhurahoop@reddit
No, they have a point and I’d not considered that it might put people in a difficult position to find the seats they need aren’t already free.
Not all disabilities are visible are they? So no one should be presuming anything based on how people look. After I had knee surgery as a teenager, I got some very disapproving looks for sitting on crowded buses, even though there’s no way I could’ve given my seat up and stood for 40 minutes on a moving vehicle. This was after I’d stopped needing a stick to walk but it was still very sore. There was no way anyone could see why I needed to sit unless I’d announced I was post-operative to everyone, and I wasn’t going to do that. So I had to just let them think I was a selfish kid when I really wasn’t.
Ranger_1302@reddit
Taking my point too far. I don’t like Internet discourse for this reason. People are obsessed with edge cases and taking what was said out of context. I already mentioned how the bus would need to be free enough of seats.
DarkDragoness1965@reddit
But we're not talking about 'edge' cases. Invisible disabilities are far more common than you seem to realise - skeletal, heart, lungs, brain etc so many disabilities can't be seen.
sock_cooker@reddit
Seems like you do like internet discourse, though: you've asked a question and now you're picking arguments with everyone who hasn't answered in the way you expect them to.
Ranger_1302@reddit
Actually, the number of comments that I’ve not replied to is much higher. I’m bored of this.
sock_cooker@reddit
Righto 👍
TheMonkeyInCharge@reddit
I need the legroom. I physically don’t fit in a lot of the normal seats. I’d use the little jump seat behind the driver, but be really proactive in offering it up.
Ranger_1302@reddit
Yes. I am well aware.
clitorasClive@reddit
What makes it fairly clear you don't have a disability? Not all disabilities are clearly visible
armitage_shank@reddit
You can't necessarily see disability; if someones got a gammy knee for eg.
fatknits@reddit
It’s not clear though, there are a lot of invisible disabilities. When I’m sat down I sure don’t look disabled, I’m fairly young and there’s nothing visibly wrong with me. But I have spinal issues and mobility trouble so I need the priority seats where possible. If I saw someone sitting there, especially if many other seats were still free, I would never ask them to move or assume they didn’t need it.
Bowtie327@reddit
Counterpoint, if other seats are available, then anyone in need of a seat can sit elsewhere
The priority seats are only there as a “you MUST give them up” but anyone, infirm or not, can use the other seats
annedroiid@reddit
As OP said the priority seats often have extra legroom or other considerations that make them more accessible. For example if they can't be standing while the bus is moving, having a seat at the very front will allow them to sit before the bus starts moving.
gyroda@reddit
Also, it typically means not navigating a crowded aisle.
Bowtie327@reddit
And not all disabilities require extra leg room, what’s your point?
Efficient_Chic714@reddit
Priority seating is for those with limited mobility, not general disabled individuals. Anyone using a mobility aid like a cane or crutch needs the space but also they need to be closer to the front so that they are sat before the bus starts moving and don’t fall.
They’re reserved for those with mobility issues for their safety - not comfort. OP’s need is comfort based so they should leave those seats available for those who need it
keithmk@reddit
Buses here have a step up behind the priority seats making them inaccessible to many people who need the priority seat. So your basic premise is not only selfish but basically wrong
RRW2020@reddit
OP gets motion sickness; this is its own unseen disability. I think it’s totally legit to sit in any seat that’s empty, but one should give up the priority seats for people who look like they need it, which OP is already doing. Good job, OP!
Nice_Back_9977@reddit
Motion sickness is not a disability
dreadwitch@reddit
They said the higher seats give them motion sickness, there's plenty of low seats. Although it is a valid reason to sit in a priority seat. But there's other low seats at the front of the bus that aren't priority ones.
Efficient_Chic714@reddit
The signs on those seats don’t specify for disabled individuals they say those with limited mobility. OP doesn’t have that so shouldn’t be in those seats unless they have to. There are usually other seats up front closer to the driver that they can sit in or even one row back
It’s great that OP is moving when they see someone that needs it more but the etiquette should be to leave them empty when possible as not everyone will
budgiebirdman@reddit
So what happens when that's the only seat and you've sat in it? Does everyone get disability vision goggles all of a sudden?
entersandmum143@reddit
"if there are other ones free"
Did you just gloss over that part of the original statement.
budgiebirdman@reddit
Given that I excluded that condition explicitly, no, I obviously didn't.
entersandmum143@reddit
What?
If there's no other seats, then there's no other seats. This isn't some sort of dealbreaker for decent society. The same rules don't apply and most people would understand this.
budgiebirdman@reddit
The same rules do apply you prat. On a full bus the mythical disabled person with the invisible disability who gets on doesn't suddenly have a sign proclaiming their disability appear over their head and the person in the seat without a disability, visible or otherwise doesn't suddenly have a sign proclaiming that anyone with a disability should ask for the seat appear over their head. The original post was typical pious Reddit over thinking that doesn't stand up to reason.
Hippymam@reddit
This. Not all disabilities are visible, so whoever needs the seat might think you have a non-visible disability and not ask if you'd mind them sitting there. Equally, you might not offer to give up the seat for them as they don't "look" disabled.
AnotherGreenWorld1@reddit
This.
Ok-Answer-7138@reddit
Interesting
lapodufnal@reddit
I avoid sitting in them just because the other seats are generally first-come-first-served so I’m less likely to need to give up the seat to someone who needs it (especially if I head up some steps to the back). When I (rarely) sit in them for a short trip I’m constantly needing to look up and make sure I stand up for someone needing them
Jaded_Telephone8938@reddit
I'm disabled - I generally prefer that if people who are not in need of the seat don't sit there. And I have a good reason for it - I am abulent disabled which means most of the time I don't use walking aids. I also don't "look" disabled as people quite regularly tell me, whatever that means. To look at me you'd just see some guy. But I have elhers danlos syndrome umong other things, including pretty bad anxiety. Due to all my invisible illness I'm always going to assume a person in the disabled chair needs the disabled chair and like me, just don't "look" disabled (really wtf does that mean guys, let's stop assuming disability on a certain look) so I will go and sit wherever else there is a space. Some times it's fine, but if uve just walked around town for 2 hours, or have filled my bag it becomes more dangerous for me the more I walk, and bus drivers are notoriously bad for driving when people are walking, so, I have dislocated my legs umpteen times due to the jolt of the bus trying to make my way up to the normal chairs. I'll never ask someone to move because 1 I don't want to be presumptuous and 2 my social anxiety won't let me. And I know there are many others like me. By all means, in the first leg (no pun intended) of your journey sit there, but when someone gets on, move up a bit.
Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit
Obviously I'm not going to be 100% right, but there are lots of ways I might see someone and think that they might particularly appreciate the offer of a seat. So if I see someone who appears to be struggling it'd be wrong for me to just say 'welk, can't assume anything' and do nothing.
Jaded_Telephone8938@reddit
That isn't what that means.... I do not "look disabled" I am a young generally fit guy, with big muscles, a bunch of tattoos, well dressed in an alt fashion... So people don't assume I'm disabled because I don't "look" to be struggling or look particularly infirm in anyway. That is what I mean, that people only equate disability to looking frail or obviously challenged in some way.
Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit
It's fine. But you should keep an eye out for people who might need it and move if necessary. And don't make it awkward for them. I often catch someone's eye; you often don't even need to speak to signal that you are happy to give them your seat.
Difficult-Level-3070@reddit
Ignore the divs, just use the seats. If someone comes on and asks for it or needs it then you move. Otherwise you're fine
AllThatIHaveDone@reddit
Personally, if another seat is available I'll leave the priority ones free, but otherwise I'd sit in them and do as you do.
TheMonkeyInCharge@reddit
Sounds like OP may have the same problem I do though, that they just don’t fit in the normal seats. My legs are so long I have to sit sorta sideways taking up too, which is even worse.
BingeLurker@reddit
Yeah I have the same issue and they are seats for everyone; the signage is literally there to highlight to give the seat up if someone else is in need.
In the same situation I’d have been tempted to argue how they know I’m not disabled before giving the seat up (from the OP comments I’m assuming it was an older guy who may do well having that reminder that not all disabilities are visible).
Efficient_Chic714@reddit
I’m defo the AH here but it really gripes me when someone says how do you know I’m not disabled when asked to give up a seat as the wording is pretty specific that it’s for those with limited mobility not disabled individuals in general. Most people with limited mobility show physical signs of it
That works two ways in that if my disability was neurodivergent rather than a physical disability? I would move. But as someone using a mobility aid, I get pretty annoyed when I can’t sit in a priority seat as most of the time the bus drivers don’t wait for you to sit before moving - and I don’t want to face plant the floor whilst waiting for someone to move
gyroda@reddit
You'd be surprised.
thegroucho@reddit
Flying cattle class is torture...
But a 20 minute bus ride is OK so I'll live.
TheMonkeyInCharge@reddit
I mean, I don’t do either of those things any more. But when I did I got far more dirty looks for (having to) sit diagonally a bus seat than I ever did for taking up one with legroom, or the magical pogo seat behind the driver.
workedmisty@reddit
Yeah they’re often easier to access than other seats so unless they’re the only choice I leave them free
BreqsCousin@reddit
Yeah ideally people shouldn't have to ask.
Not all disabilities are visible, and they're always going to be slightly on edge for if you turn out to be an arse about it, so it's better if the seat is just free.
But not enough so that I'd bother giving a stranger this advice unsolicited.
NixyPix@reddit
How did that person know that you don’t need the seat? How presumptuous.
Matchaparrot@reddit
Even with my walking stick I still get people coming up to me telling me I shouldn't be in the seat. Usually older people. It's frustrating
Strong-Librarian-OOK@reddit
Oh old people are the worst for gate keeping things like priority seating. My big one is toilets: I don’t consider myself disabled enough to need priority seating at the moment so I don’t use it, but I do need the facilities in the disabled bogs sometimes (colostomy due to cancer, so when I need to change my bag I need the private sink and the suitable bin in the disabled loo). It’s ALWAYS old people that challenge me for looking too healthy for their liking.
Matchaparrot@reddit
I'm so sorry you get this too, it sucks. You have every right to use the accessible toilet for your stoma bag.
Strong-Librarian-OOK@reddit
Doesn’t bother me anymore. I’ve got no issues lifting my T-shirt to flash the bag when it happens: I’m fully aware I don’t owe them an explanation but I don’t give a shit (no pun intended) and I hope it makes them feel awkward enough to think before saying something to the next person who might be more bothered
Matchaparrot@reddit
Yeah there's no point getting angry with these folks, I take a similar approach by telling them deadpan what happened and just let it hang in the air.
Strong-Librarian-OOK@reddit
Shhhh… don’t say the M word…
CleeBrummie@reddit
That's why you say to them "As you are so helpful, would you mind helping me change my colostomy bag?"
DameKumquat@reddit
It's the one advantage of becoming middle-aged - suddenly you're 'allowed' to be disabled...
To be fair, most of the elderly who said things like "You're too young to be disabled" actually intended it kindly, because if I retorted "My body says otherwise", they'd laugh and say "Eh, life's a bitch, int it love?" or whatever. Middle aged bossy types, on the other hand...
Matchaparrot@reddit
My body says otherwise is a great comeback, I might start using that haha
TheShakyHandsMan@reddit
I’m the same. I look fit and healthy although the side effects of chemo has left me short on lung power and out of breath easily. I was a couple of weeks post surgery and still bandaged and got myself sat down in a priority seat and still had people questioning why I skipped the length bus queue so I could sit down on the bench and was one of the first ones on so I didn’t have to kick anyone off it.
I’m like ffs you can see my bandages
Current_Fly9337@reddit
When I was pregnant my pelvis dislocated due to having a small frame and heavy baby. I ended up on crutches, or in a wheelchair if a longer trip.
An old lady absolutely berated me for being ‘irresponsible’ for getting pregnant when I couldn’t even walk.
My gran went a bit mental when she had dementia so I just put it down to that but jeez. She wouldn’t listen to me trying to explain that once I popped it out, I’ll be able to walk again.
Matchaparrot@reddit
What is wrong with that old woman. Sorry you had to hear that, that's completely wrong
Current_Fly9337@reddit
I’m usually quite blasé in such situations but a combo of raging hormones and pain actually left me a bit teary.
pip_goes_pop@reddit
Sure, but also OP didn't need the seat. OP is also presumptions to think they can identify someone who needs it based on how they walk onto the bus.
keithmk@reddit
Presumptuous? I'd sat arrogant and selfish. Qualified, experienced, specialist medical doctors have decided that my mobility is seriously affected but some rando on a bus with not iota of medical training expects to be the one who, with a simple glance, gives the final diagnosis and assessment of my needs.
Mireillka@reddit
I've never experienced so much harassment from strangers as when I was a teen with a broken toe and had to sit on a bus.
Now I'm wearing a facemask in public, which makes people quite hostile, and over those six years I still didn't experience as much harassment as in those few months on crutches. People straight up accusing me of lying cos I didn't have a cast on my leg etc.
Not an elderly person taking the priority seat is turning random people around in to monsters.
habaneronow@reddit
To avoid moving, I generally avoid priority seats. Anytime I take a chance, a very disabled person gets on at a future stop and I realize that there are no other seats left, and I have to stand! Easier for me to get it right first.
Tawoooo@reddit
I'll sit in a priority seat without a second thought if there are other priority seats available. if not, I'll still sit there since i prefer sitting at the front of the bus on shorter journeys, but I'll keep an eye out for anyone who looks like they might need it
audigex@reddit
The guy who said it is just plain wrong
It's a priority seat meaning you should give it up if needed by the priority group, not a reserved seat meaning you can't sit there
However, there's some logic to the point that you should sit in other seats first and the priority seat should be used last - it saves the disabled person having to ask for the seat, which isn't quite humiliating but why put another "thing" in their way? There's also the point that having to ask you to move takes time and makes it more likely that the bus moves before they're properly seated
Continue using the seat if it's the last seat available, but sensibly I'd say you should stop using it as a preference seat
ben_jamin_h@reddit
I don't even sit downstairs on the bus. Downstairs is for people who can't get up the stairs.
CatOverlordsWelcome@reddit
I have no actual opinion that hasn't been said already but I just think it's interesting because I get crazy motion sick in the priority seats but not at all in the raised ones! Brains are strange.
dreadwitch@reddit
Regardless of who that person was or how they said it they don't know if you need that seat or not. I take huge issue with people who like to play the disability police.
But as a disabled person who can manage at times with any seat I'd say it's best to not sit there if the bus isn't full, not all disabled people will say anything and will struggle to another seat. I have social anxiety so no matter how much I needed the seat I wouldn't ask someone to move.
If the bus is full then sit wherever but move if someone clearly needs it.... But imo that's not just disabled people, it's old people, people who may not look disabled but look like they're struggling in some way, including pregnant women.
But that's my opinion lol the general etiquette is to never sit in the priority seats unless the bus is full, simply so people who need them don't have to ask because not all disabilities are visible... None of mine are. I look ok, but I'm far from it.
No_Salt1486@reddit
I don’t ride the bus anymore but aren’t there usually multiple priority seats? Usually one behind the driver then 4-6 others?
Real-Apricot-7889@reddit
It’s better not to sit there IMO as many people who might need the seat may not be comfortable to ask as they don’t know whether you need it or they’re worried about confrontation. If you do genuinely look to see if anyone needs it then that’s great, but obviously not all disabilities are visible.
RequirementEasy4273@reddit
I leave them free if there are other seats available, just to avoid having to constantly judge whether someone needs it more than I do. Not worth the mental overhead.
moonfarmer89@reddit
It’s a seat. You can sit there and if someone needs it they can ask. I don’t get the bus but if the seat closest to me on the train is a priority one I’ll sit there until someone asks for it.
smellthecoffeebeans@reddit
The only time I sit there is if I have the pram and want to be close to the baby/hold the pram in place because the lock is a little rickety and the pram will slide if the driver hits a bump or goes too fast.
If someone needs it and there is no other priority seat, I will give it up without being asked and stand and hold the pram in place. Otherwise, I prefer the back (as a fellow motion-sickness sufferer)
Serious_Badger_4145@reddit
Not if tthere's another seat. If you don't need it you should use that one last. You can't see a lot of disabilities, it shouldn't be on that person to stand longer while they tell you they need the seat and you move
k8blwe@reddit
A seat is a seat. Ill sit wherever is free. But if somone who actually needs the seat comes on the bus then I'll move no problem
ARobertNotABob@reddit
Simple, if you see someone who would benefit from it more than you, offer it.
ShortFlamingo3409@reddit
It's absolutely fine to sit there as long as you're willing to move if needed/offer the seat without being asked. I was on crutches for around three months last year and the number of people not willing to move/made me stand the entire way was unreal.
jamdex07@reddit
Personally, i'll offer my seat to literally anyone who looks like they need it more than me.
HarketSavoy@reddit
But that excludes invisible disabilities. You can’t tell. Age isn’t an indicator.
jamdex07@reddit
Yes, but i cant see them by nature. Not going to start asking random strangers if they've got any invisible disabilities.
HarketSavoy@reddit
Exactly! We had this with masking and the disability pass thing.
Kaiisim@reddit
I sit and if anyone makes eye contact I offer them the seat.
Pedantichrist@reddit
I sit in priority seats, because I do not really sit in a normal seat.
Priority is a sliding scale. I have priority over shorter people, a pregnant woman has priority over me, and the man in crutches has priority over her.
It is a risk, I might be kicked out, but there is no reason not to sit there.
Asaxii@reddit
Middle seat by the one emergency exit (if you bus has it) is the best seat for leg space and you aren’t in a priority zone.
RaspberryJammm@reddit
I used to always go for those seats and it made my blood boil when somebody short was sat there! I know for short people leg room doesn't even enter their consideration just as I never consider people not being able to reach things on higher shelves so in hindsight I'm not mad at them, but used to make me internally seethe at the end of a hard day at work or college
KCLenny@reddit
Priority seats mean some other people have priority. But they aren’t reserved for them. Bus seats are not reserved for certain people. You use them if they are free, and give them up if someone who needs them more than you needs them. That simple.
clrthrn@reddit
I only ever sit in these seats when everything else is taken. If you decide to sit there because the only other seat makes you travel sick is fine for me but you have to stand when someone more deserving gets on. Don't let someone clearly suffering assume you have a hidden disability. I used to love the priority seats on the Amsterdam tram system. If you sat in one with no visible reason to and someone got on with a baby or mobility issues, you better be producing a doctors note for the tram ticket woman or she would scream you at high volume until you gave up the seat. I've seen massive teenage lads nearly reduced to tears because they didn't leap up the second a pregnant woman got on the trams. Good times.
Remote-Field4624@reddit
I had a old person shout at me once for this and I leaned over got my walking stick moved to the back and told her your just old I'm disabled, when tried start apologizing I told her to shut up in a very English way.
Your good with right down in them if bus isn't busy I still do this and if see old people or mums needing getting on I just move a few seats back..
It's priority not a sacred seat and I'm with you on the leg room.. you sound like your a nice person for asking this so you know when to move when needed. Most people just want you be aware on public transport and move when needed which fair enough.
Severus_1987@reddit
There is nothing wrong with sitting there. You just need to move if someone needs them
AvatarIII@reddit
They're priority seats not prohibited seats, you can sit there if there's no one else that needs it.
Helena_Handcart1@reddit
I don’t sit there unless that’s the only seat available and then of course am hyper vigilant for anyone else who might need it. .i silently judge those clearly able-bodied individuals who sit there when other options for their clearly visible ambulatory ability are available.
Lessarocks@reddit
As a sixty something woman with no serious health issues, I don’t use these seats unless they are the only ones free. One day I might need them myself and I’d rather not have to ask.
Cult-Film-Fan-999@reddit
Sit where you like. Move to accomodate those who look like they need it. Ignore bus jobsworths who have too much time on their hands.
viscence@reddit
You don’t have to adjust your behaviour in the absence of people. You don’t need to suffer because of a person that isn’t there. If there are people you must be vigilant and should free the chair if there is a possibility that someone needs it. Don’t make them ask you to move, this adds another layer of difficulty to someone who already has difficulties. Usually I avoid the priority seats not because I should not sit there but because I want to zone out and not have to worry about noticing if someone needs me to move.
yearsofpractice@reddit
Hey OP. 50 years ago old married father of two here - also have family members with limited mobility.
You are PRECISELY right to do what you do. You simply came across an arsehole. Simple as that.
Those seats are prioritised for less mobile people, not forbidden for anyone else. I’ll say again - you simply came across an arsehole and you’ve done nothing wrong at all. Keep doing it!
Foxtrot7888@reddit
I think it’s fine to sit in them but you should then be the first to offer the seat to someone that looks like they need it.
littlebird2446@reddit
Don’t use the priority seats if you don’t need one and there are other seats available. I think this is basic manners.
awesome2701@reddit
I live in an area that is fairly remote and people have to rely on buses to the main towns.
We generally have to sit in the priority seats as the buses are full to capacity (especially during term time at the university) but we will always move and stand for anyone older or with mobility issues. Likewise with the folding seats over wheelchair spaces. We will sit for safety unless someone needs that space.
It's fine to initially sit in them, but you should also be willing to move if someone else needs it more.
maisydee@reddit
Just my experience, but I’ve noticed a lot of younger people, teenagers usually, deliberately grab the priority seats, even when there’s lots of alternatives. I’m fairly recently having to walk with a stick, can’t stand for long and almost pension age. I’ve never had any of them offer a seat even if they do look up from their ‘phone. I’ve seen pregnant women let their 5+ year old have a priority seat while they stand… I’ve even had someone tell me that children are more entitled to a priority seat than a pensioner or disabled person - him and his kids were taking 4 of them while pensioners were standing with shopping.
ComfortableAlone7876@reddit
The woman shouldn't have told you not to sit there, you could have had a hidden disability. A heart problem for example, but there are many hidden disabilities. I think that's where the real issue is, best not to sit in the seat unless you need it. You wouldn't necessarily know if someone else needed a priority seat and to offer it if they had a hidden disability. If the seats are left free to those who need it when possible they can access them easier. Obviously it's trickier when busses get overcrowded.
Embarrassed_Park2212@reddit
I sit in them because I have a disability, invisible disability to add, but nobody has ever told me to move. My daughter thinks it's because I have a constant resting bitch face. But I would also move should an older person get on or a pregnant lady gets on.
Just sit where you like and if anyone says anything just tell them you can read and, at present, nobody that needs it is on the bus.
PoorLittlePicklePest@reddit
Sit somewhere else unless they are the only seats left. That person getting on the bus with a hidden disability might be a fellow Redditor who'd never contemplate speaking to another human being so can't ask you to move and then they'll make some melty passive aggressive post about you on your local sub later.
AutisticElephant1999@reddit
I wouldn't personally sit in a priority seats unless there were no other unproblematic free seats
specialdelivery88@reddit
Leave them free unless there’s no others to sit in. I imagine it gets old very fast having to ask people to move because they need it
Eriksthere123@reddit
On the bus and the tube I tend to avoid sitting in the priority seats just so that they are free and no one needs to ask me to move, and so that I don’t need to be vigilant of the people around me. That being said I would never tell someone they shouldn’t be sitting there, you can totally sit there until someone needs it!
Questjon@reddit
I always figure if the social discomfort of asking overrides the physical discomfort of taking a different empty seat then they didn't really need the priority seat either.
banxy85@reddit
Sounds like you don't know much about chronic pain then my friend.
The pure exhaustion of having to explain your condition to people who both don't care and also don't deserve an explanation
The fear that someone could react badly and actually add to your existing level of pain
Carrying that pain all day, every day making you so depressed that even something that might seem like a simple conversation to you could be overwhelming to someone else
Yeah I don't think you have a clue tbh
Etheria_system@reddit
Yeah that’s not how it works. People can have serious mental health issues and serious physical issues too. Imagine you’re already in pain and just about holding it together, and the thought of asking for a seat and being rejected is enough to send you into a panic attack or meltdown. That doesn’t mean your pain doesn’t exist, it means you’re balancing trying to work out what hell is most manageable in that time.
People can be utter pricks when you ask them to move. It’s so much easier to just leave those seats free for those who need them
rising_then_falling@reddit
Based on my knowledge of people, that's not a safe assumption.
Plenty of brass necks who'll ask for the priority seat just to try it on. Plenty of people so used to their chronic pain that they'd rather endure it another 20 minutes than cause a fuss.
rainaftermoscow@reddit
I'm legally blind and don't even check the priority seats anymore because I've had people start screaming at me for tapping around the seat with my cane and tapping their leg/I've touched somebody by accident.
Weirdly, they had a lot of energy for people sitting in priority seats. I also got a load of verbal from a drunk guy when I was 7 months pregnant, and on crutches due to pregnancy related osteoporosis when my husband politely asked him if he could move.
The bus driver then got out and made the guy move, but I spent the bus ride with a drunken guy breathing his stench all over me from behind while my husband hovered next to me worriedly. On the rare occasion I need to take the bus, I'll stand.
Don't even talk to me about the tube. There are way too many guys in London comfortable with trying to grope a blind girl I'm never setting foot underground again lmao.
YouWascallyWabbit@reddit
People with chronic pain that are used to being told there's not much wrong with them" so would rather just not get into a discussion with a stranger. Or who haven't slept well and can't face people yet. Or who gave mental health problems. Or who are free up of asking for every little thing. Or who could save that bit of energy for the rest of their day.
Because they physically might be able to manage in another seat. But the priory seat should be about what makes them comfortable, not the bare minimum of what they can cope with.
People like the op you replied to do my head in a little. Because they haven't experienced a certain struggle, they can't understand that it exists.
annedroiid@reddit
It's weighing up risks. Once enough aggressive idiots threaten you for asking for a seat you stop wanting to risk it.
OrganicPoet1823@reddit
On the tube I avoid them so I don’t have to then stand if someone needs it.
Cinnamon-Dream@reddit
This is why I prefer upstairs on buses, then I don't have to worry at all about giving up my seat.
AffectionateJump7896@reddit
Just like the sign says, sitting there is cool, but you should be prepared to give it up, and do so ideally without being asked.
People who want you to give the seat up should therefore make it obvious to you. Either by being obviously blind or heavily pregnant or something, wearing a badge, or asking politely.
lunchbox3@reddit
I agree but also you have a responsibility to be looking around a bit / being generally aware if you’re sat in one of those seats.
fickle_tartan@reddit
I just don't sit in them, if there's no other seats then I'll stand generally, I know some people feel awkward asking others to move even if they need it, so I would personally rather remove that possibility.
That being said I certainly wouldn't judge anyone who does sit in them anyway, they're priority for those who need them, not reserved for those who need them.
I definitely would never be telling people to move, that's just shitty.
External-Pen9079@reddit
I do the same as you… I’m tall and have long legs. If I sit in a normal two seater I have to sit with my legs to the side thereby taking up two seats instead of one…
I will go for the sideways fold down seats over the ones specifically indicated as being for disabled people in the first instance though (and just be mindful of prams / wheelchairs getting on)
Sad-Wrap6555@reddit
personally i use the seat right behind the driver these are single occupant, with a raised height that you need to step up to get in to them and not priority
on our buses the side facing spaces immediately behind these are designed for buggies and wheel chairs (or at peak times - crazy old ladies pushing their dogs in a fecking pram lol)
the side facers and the first two conventional rows behind them all carry signage saying please give up this seat to someone who needs it
At end of the day they're priority not exclusive
They are not disabled parking bays that must be kept free unless you are displaying some sort of bus travelling equivalent of a blue badge
around here you'd end up with 20 percent of the seats vacant during rush hour - on buses which are already filled with standing room only passengers
Worldly_Wafer_6635@reddit
I normally go by, if there are other seat leave them open.
If it's busy, sit, but move for people who need it.
I get the stance of well, if it's free, it doesn't matter; however, think of how awkward it is for someone who needs it to ask, no need to put them through it when other seats are available.
ThrillingFig@reddit
I have BPPV and I’m young (under 30). I often have to stand on public transport as people don’t class me as someone who benefits from having a seat or a seat closer to exit. I struggle to move when the bus/train is in motion and due to my BPPV, I can (and have) stumbled or fallen when trying to move through or get off a bus/train in movement. For that reason, I prefer the priority seats. Looking at me, nobody would guess that it would benefit me, and I’ve had elderly people (who are also in a priority seat section!) prod me with their walking sticks to show their “disapproval”. I don’t move out of the seat if I secure it, but equally, I won’t challenge anyone sitting in one. You don’t know why they may have chosen to sit there.
Asher-D@reddit
You don't need to challenge it though, you just need to announce that you need a seat for safety reasons and those that don't, should get up and over you theirs.
OriginalPlonker@reddit
The sign says you should give them up. You can't give them up without sitting in them. Ergo, you're perfectly entitled to sit in them.
Veenkoira00@reddit
The trouble is that if YOU don't occupy the priority seat as the placeholder ready to get up to offer it to someone who needs it more, it will inevitably be occupied by people with dogs, parents with tweenies or cyborgs unable to move their attention from their communicators.
mr-ajax-helios@reddit
I've seen teenagers who I know don't need it (because I taught them and would be aware of any medical issues) sit there and blatantly ignore doddery old people and people on crutches. At least if you're sat there you know you'll move if someone needs it, rather than risking having the seat occupied by someone who cares less about doing the right thing.
Asher-D@reddit
Taught? As in not currently? As in they could have technically developed a medical need since.
Also adults on the bus need to be correcting the teens if they're not getting up. How are they to learn otherwise? If I see a person needs a seat and I'm already standing or I need a seat myself for some reason, I'll announce to the bus, can we get a seat for this person.
katie-kaboom@reddit
I won't usually sit in a priority seat, as I don't need it. It's better to make it so that people don't have to ask you to move, because many people won't. They'll just struggle. Proactively don't be a jerk.
XihuanNi-6784@reddit
You're in the right. They are not exclusive seats, they're priority seats. They're free to anyone to sit in but those with mobility issues take priority. Seems like people don't understand how they work. Ultimately, public transport is about moving large numbers of people. It would be loony to have seats left empty like that because no one else was allowed to sit in them.
Veenkoira00@reddit
I sit ostentatiously on the priority seat but keep a beady eye on any possible more prioritised passengers boarding and jump up and offer the seat.
Acrylic_Starshine@reddit
Its a priority seat. People listed get the priority but its not reserved for them.
Just make sure you offer the seat if someone gets on so they arent forced to sit further back because they wanted to sit by themselves or something.
YouSayWotNow@reddit
If there are other seats free on the bus, I would not sit in the priority seats. Some people who need them are not confident to ask for them when they see someone else in them and there are many, many invisible disabilities that you wouldn't detect from people "looking doddery".
If there are no other seats, I would probably sit there, depending on how tired I was feeling.
HotCommunication1696@reddit
Priority seats are just normal seats, but priority should be given to those who are pregnant, disabled, or less able to stand. A lot of people will just avoid them altogether but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong for sitting in them. I’m a tall guy at 6’3 so the priority seats in transverse seating layouts often have that crucial extra bit of leg room, so I’m sitting in them any day of the week if not needed by anyone else
banxy85@reddit
If you're taking up the seat then there's a fair chance that someone who needs it more than you may not ask either out of fear of confrontation or fear that you could have a hidden disability and be upset/offended
By sitting there you are absolutely taking that seat away from some of the people who need it more than you. Either don't sit there or just own what you're doing. We aren't here to excuse the behaviour 🤷
Jaded_Telephone8938@reddit
Perfectly worded. 👌
AnotherGreenWorld1@reddit
Correct.
_Cridders_@reddit
I'll sit in it if nothing else is available, but encouragingly offer it to anyone that might look like they need it
It's tricky though, my Dad is 79 and still gets offended when people offer to him, I think he thinks he isn't old 😂
ScaryButt@reddit (OP)
Yeah I always try to be aware or who's getting on and actively offer it to people who I think might need it but sometimes people have looked a bit offended at me offering!
pip_goes_pop@reddit
You shouldn't sit there unless there's no other option.
Lots of people may have boarded who needed it, but didn't want to ask you to move. Not all disabilities are visible - how would they know you don't need it?.
Then just because they didn't pass your dodderyness test you won't have offered it either.
budgiebirdman@reddit
They're an idiot.
Asher-D@reddit
You can sit there so long as a priority person doesn't need the seat. And it sounds like you yourself actually may need the seat.
If I can though I always give up my seat whichever seat I'm in (I rarely sit in priority only if I need to ie. Only seats left or I have the pram) for anyone with obvious mobility issues, an elderly person, a heavily pregnant person or someone with a small child. I do also give up my seat if someone with an invisible disability asks, assuming I can.
DoctorWhofan789eywim@reddit
I must have missed the meeting where this Random Person became the Arbiter of Disability
pip_goes_pop@reddit
Well OP seems to believe they are too, and believe they can detect which people who board to bus need the seat based on them being "doddery",
Interesting_Net1297@reddit
That’s a shame. It was so much fun.
LochNessMother@reddit
On the one hand, you should probably shouldn’t sit i priority seats if you don’t need them. On the other hand, you say they make your motion sickness better, I’ve never heard of someone getting motion sick on the bus, so you DO need them (just not as much as many other people)
JansonHawke@reddit
Don't sit there in the first place.
blackcurrantcat@reddit
If everywhere else is taken and there are no doddery people getting on then yes you’re fine to sit in the priority seat on the understanding that if, and only if, a doddery person gets on you are prepared to relinquish the priority seat.
Head_Priority5152@reddit
Though I totally do see your logic I see the argument against it.
I have a hidden disability. If there is no seat I will severely struggle to stand however most people wouldn't notice this. If I came on your bus I highly doubt you'd offer this seat to me as I look young and fit. Ive been asked to move out of the piority seat even. And that's fine because I wouldn't expect you to know. But also if you were sat there I wouldn't dream of asking if you actually needed your seat because you may well also have a reason for it. Sickness I a reason that's valid to me.
Maybe just think a bit more if you are taking the last seat. Or the last on the 'flat'. If other seats are available as a disabled person I'd sit in a different one but not eveyone can do the steps easily.
LordTrixzlix@reddit
I have arthritis in my hips but am only in my 40s so unless I'm having an flair up its not obvious but I get judged because I don't "look" disabled. I always watch for & get up if someone looks like they need it but it does annoy me that people just assume that it's easy for me to move...
Great-Activity-5420@reddit
I don't sit in the priority seat but there's other seats at the front I usually sit on. It's fine to sit on those seats if nobody needs them but someone gets on who does usually
Matchaparrot@reddit
You're allowed to sit there. I'm disabled and as long as you give up the seat for disabled people you're fine. Priority is given to disabled people, it's a normal seat when it's not needed
Small-Pension-9459@reddit
Sit anywhere you want, and always give up your seat to any one who obviously needs its more. Priority seat or not.
oktimeforplanz@reddit
I generally won't sit in them, but I don't think that means nobody should. I just prefer to not have to pay much attention to who is getting on the bus/train so I can proactively decide if I should move.
Huge_Horse_8945@reddit
Personally I think if you don't need the priority seat but the bus is full then it's fine to sit there but if someone gets on and they fit the criteria, you should give up the seat.
Itchy-Ad4421@reddit
Sit where you want - learn to tell people to fuck off.
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
[removed]
Interesting_Net1297@reddit
Did I do it right?
DangerousDisplay7664@reddit
No matter what you say or do, you’re ALWAYS going to get one person/group that disagrees - you can just look at the comments for evidence of that 🤷♂️
Even if you ask every disabled person, then you’re gonna get disagreements within the group.
Just do what you’ve been doing. You’re fine.
SmokingTheBowl@reddit
Anyone can sit there. It's good etiquette to move for someone less able bodied/elderly etc . Anyone saying you can't sit there at all is talking bollocks. The thing about buses is that seats fill and empty constantly so temporarily using a seat is fine. Wheelchair users get priority in the flip up seat spaces, then people with prams they can fold. If these people aren't there, the space can still be used if it's available. If it's needed by someone with greater need, we just move.
Peanut0151@reddit
I don't sit in them if I can help it. Some disabilities aren't obvious and I don't like putting people in the position where they'd have to ask me to move
Cool_Doubt2152@reddit
I don’t get the bus often anymore but same principal on the tube in London and people sit in them all the time, I don’t see a problem with it as long as you move if somebody needs to sit down. I have asked someone before if I could sit there when I was pregnant but not visibly, and wasn’t feeling well (last thing I wanted was to vom or faint on the tube). It’s presumptuous of the person who said that to you to assume you also weren’t in need of them yourself for whatever reason
Klutzy_Award1786@reddit
I personally wouldn't sit in a priority seat but that's because I'm lazy, I don't want to have to get up, I would rather just take a random seat and know I'm there for the journey
Justan0therthrow4way@reddit
I’d argue that you might be able to sit there because of this.
mu5tbetheone@reddit
It says priority, not you can't sit there.
VardaElentari86@reddit
Sit but be prepared to move (as you do)
I try and avoid sitting in them, but sometimes no choice when the bus starts to move off immediately and I have shopping etc, it's fling myself into the nearest seat or fall over.
Striking_Smile6594@reddit
It's like a disabled accessible toilets, they are there for the use of those who need them and if someone does need them they take priority, but in normal circumstances they are fair game.
DangerousDisplay7664@reddit
If the seat is empty then there’s no issue with you sitting there as long as you do as you have been doing and give it up for someone who really needs it.
DifferenceMany@reddit
I don't sit in them. Not all disabilities are visible and I wouldn't want somebody to feel they need to ask for the seat or go without. We were taught to choose a seat as far back as we can so as to leave room at the front for people who are disabled, elderly or pregnant and I say the same to my children.
JustAnotherFEDev@reddit
Empty bus, at a quiet time, sure, sit there but be prepared to move if anyone gets on, you can't really look at someone and assess their need, as not all disabilities are visible, so it's still arguably a bit entitled, but totally fine if you're the only person on the bus or there's a group of healthy Yoof blasting out tunes from a phone, upstairs, etc
At busy times, just don't do it at all, some folk would need that seat but be to anxious to confront you.
The rule probably is they should ask, which is a bit shitty, to be fair, as not everyone has communication skills, not everyone wants to reveal their medical information, etc
BasisOk4268@reddit
Priority not exclusive
BarbiePeonies@reddit
I’d say motion sickness is a good enough reason to sit on those seats
Also that person is an idiot seeing as hidden disabilities exist
Personally as someone who needs that seat I never make anyone get up for me as they may need it just as much as I do, it’s just one of the things you have to accept when taking public transport
Coldthots@reddit
Not all disabilities are visible so the person was well out of order for saying anything, you don’t have to give up the seat either, it’s just good manners to give it up for someone who looks like they’re struggling more than you, or someone who needs to be by their pram etc.
RainbowPenguin1000@reddit
I wouldn’t never sit there if other seats are available.
Some people will feel uncomfortable asking for the seat even if they need it, they may have an invisibility disability or another problem they’re not happy to highlight by asking a stranger for their seat.
Cultural_Tank_6947@reddit
You're allowed to sit there, and there's an implicit contract that you give up the space should someone who fits in the priority category needs it.
dinkidoo7693@reddit
I mean if you get motion sickness in other seats that would make you priority
LewisMileyCyrus@reddit
It says you should give them up if someone needs them, not keep them empty incase someone needs them. They're fine to sit in it's just expected you move for elderly/ pregnant/ disabled people etc
Iforgotmypassword126@reddit
I think it’s common courtesy to leave these seats for people who are not visibly disabled or infirm.
So I’d sit everywhere else in a bus before sitting in the priority seat, then sit there last if it was full.
Like you, get up if I saw someone with a need stepping onto the bus.
You didn’t do anything wrong. If the entire bus was empty, then there were other priority seats surely? Or if the bus was full, then you had nowhere else to sit.
She was out of line speaking to you like this.
HenryHarryLarry@reddit
You can’t judge by looking at someone if they need a seat. There’s a big range of invisible disabilities. Some people get aggressive if asked to move so some who do need a seat won’t ask. So it’s better to leave them free imo if you don’t need them.
Curious_Ad1505@reddit
You can sit there, but should offer it if another passenger with any of those issues wants to use it.
ThomasRedstone@reddit
Priority means it's open to all, but people with mobility issues get them if they need them.
If it were for their exclusive use it would need a different word.
Snoo3763@reddit
Whoever had a go at you is an idiot, the clue is the name, passengers with difficulties get priority, that's all.
RoutineAbroad3486@reddit
Unless it’s an older person or pregnant woman that is forced to stand because of lack of seats then I don’t move anymore.
LegendaryTJC@reddit
Not everyone has the confidence to ask others to move. I would never sit in a priority seat if others were available, just to be considerate.
aaron2933@reddit
Sit in them until someone needs it gets on. Pretty straightforward
I personally never sit in them even if they're free but I don't think anything of it when I see others sitting in them
riverend180@reddit
Of course you can sit there
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