We played outside constantly. What about your kids?
Posted by SumGoodMtnJuju@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 67 comments
We know how the story goes. Gen-x was free and feral š! We all played outside until the street lights came on. Our parents didnāt really know what we were doing.
Anyway, if you had kids why or why didnāt they experience this reality. Are we more suspicious now? Maybe you live in a neighborhood with no kids. Tell me how free range you raised/ are raising your kids.
yeahwellokay@reddit
My kid is two and I'm not quite ready to let her run wild yet.
nunyabizthewiz@reddit
Do not get her a device!! Encourage reading and imaginary play!
SumGoodMtnJuju@reddit (OP)
Hahaā¦ š valid.
nunyabizthewiz@reddit
My kids rarely go outside. Thereās really not much to do. We do not live in a community or walkable area. Maybe Iāll have them plant a gardenā¦
Starkville@reddit
My kids grew up in Manhattan.
At a certain point, they were free to go off by themselves. Two of them have had a lot of fun roaming the city, and staying out late. Theyāre young women, so I worry a lot, but you canāt stop progress. My nephew is pretty free-range here, too.
One is a goddamn hermit, but I remember one of the girls in my neighborhood stayed home reading and watching TV instead of playing outside.
SumGoodMtnJuju@reddit (OP)
Such an interesting perspective. I always wonder if I lived in a big city like NY if Iād be as relaxed about letting my kids play/roam.
We live in a small community where I felt safe to let my boys ride their bikes to school at age six. They run to the grocery store all the time and have for years now. We were just in New York City for spring break and I let them cruise around within a few blocks of our hotel but, they are teenagers now! I suppose just get used to your surroundings and they become very aware of their environment.
MooPig48@reddit
They did. I remember when my kid was about 7 and we put a free couch out. Well she and her little friends decided theyād try to sell it to a neighbor. It was comical watching these kids try to pick it up and carry it. Then one had a brilliant idea and they all scattered back to their respective houses, got their skateboards, and rolled it to the neighbors.
I really enjoyed watching her roam the neighborhood with her posse
butterflygardyn@reddit
My kids played outside a lot, but nowhere near what I did. I always knew where they were and I gave them the time and space to have that freedom. I had neighbors stop to tell me my kids were half a block away all the time because they were so worried that I let my 8 yr old ride their bike a quarter mile to their friend's house. Lol
Once when their cousins were visiting and we went to a state park that had a wide shallow creek bed. I sent the kids off to play and my poor nieces didn't know how to play. At all. Their entire lives were adult lead activities(nanny, day care, afterschool programs, activities-karate, dance, piano). They eventually went off with my kids and had a grand adventure. I got in trouble with their parents when they heard about it. I explained that i could see and certainly hear the kids the entire time. The kids thought they'd gone very far but they probably were 50 ft away. My sister was still pissed at me for endangering her kids. I reminded her we had climbed down into the sewers at their age. And survived. š¤£
doubleohzerooo0@reddit
My older kids were all pretty close in age and free and feral. Forced them outside. This was in Arizona!
Because there were 4 of them, they always attracted other kids from the neighborhood. To me it seemed safe to have them all run together.
My youngest is 6 years younger than his youngest older brother. He did not have the built in pack that his older siblings had. It didn't feel safe to let him roam alone, so he grew into being more of a home body.
TheRealCabbageJack@reddit
Whenever my kids tried to play in the cul-de-sac at the end of our street, the old assholes who lived in one of the houses would scream at them until they left for being a nuisance and would also be assholes when I confronted them. They couldn't play in the main subdivision road because the traffic was too heavy and too fast. I actually blame the lack of sidewalks for limiting the neighborhood travel.
The nearby park was overrun with drug dealers, so we didn't let them go there without us. When we moved to a quieter smaller town, they were able to ride bikes around town and to parks, but by then they were too old to enjoy it for long.
tanhauser_gates_@reddit
My kids grew up in Brooklyn. They were outside all the time. I found out once that my son and his friends would just get on the subway after school and ride the different trains all over the place.
It sounded awesome when i heard about it. I let it go.
Embarrassed_Cat2697@reddit
Neighborhood parents shamed me for letting the kids go to the park down the street without me. I was like "Oh? We don't do that now?"
SumGoodMtnJuju@reddit (OP)
That is so wrong. I know a lot of people feel the pressure to conform to the over supervision of kids. Iām sorry that happened. I suspect your kids will grow up to be more confident in this world.
Embarrassed_Cat2697@reddit
It was in the late 90's and my kids are grown. You could say with mixed results! Lol! But that kid is doing fine.
Alternative-Law4626@reddit
We moved to a nice neighborhood in a gated community when the kids were young. They had a very similar up bringing to ours (late millennials and elder Gen Z).
Zealousideal_Sink420@reddit
I got lucky and moved to a burb that is more like a small town when my son (currently 19) was about 7. He had a pack of neighborhood kids to roam the neighborhood with on their bikes. Once the kids get to about 6th grade, you can see them all over our cutesy old school downtown. There are a couple of lakes scattered with public beaches, so from about middle school on, there is a lot of biking to the beach. The only difference at 16+ is that they pile into a car and drive to the beach.
I was really happy he got that childhood! I know itās getting less common outside of the small towns. The neighborhood kids spent summers out until dark and then impromptu sāmores in the driveway and a migrating sleepover until the everyone was too tired and needed a night at home.
So itās still out there. Even with the video games! And honestly, in the worst of Covid lockdown, the video games were a lifesaverā¦it was a way of interacting with other kids until the bubbles started expanding and they could hang out outside.
SumGoodMtnJuju@reddit (OP)
Yes, itās less common now. That is why I posted the question. I want to know what is influencing the outcome.
My boys are 16 and 13 and we have a very similar situation to yours. But, I know itās luck. We can afford to live in a safe place surrounded by nature, with many parents who are willing to let their kids roam.
jrobski96@reddit
Shall I name the horses of the apocalypse? Ed Wayne Gacy, Jeffery Dahmer, The Green River Killer, Ted Bundy....
Geraldo made us all scared to let our kids out.
SumGoodMtnJuju@reddit (OP)
Ted Bundy escaped from our local jail when I was a kid. š¬Parents still let us go out and about. Didnāt realize until much later who he was.
LAARPer@reddit
I have two Gen Z kids (97 and 08). Most of their play was structured. Play dates, sleepovers, parties.
I do see Gen Alpha kids these days (13-14yo?) out riding those bikes in groups, the bikes with the huge tires! It warms my heart to see them kind of being free range kids.
SumGoodMtnJuju@reddit (OP)
Gives me hope for the future! Maybe parents are becoming aware that kids need some room to roam free.
Mom_who_drinks@reddit
My son is an only. When he was an infant, we had the happy accident of moving to a street with tons of kids. It was great. When the kids were little, theyād play in the cul-de-sac and a parent from each household would come outside to supervise. As they got older, theyād go house to house. We didnāt always know where they were but we knew they were in someoneās house or yard being semi-supervised. If they were at your home during lunch, youād feed all of them (we knew about any allergies). If they were bad, weād chastise them and maybe send them home if they were really bad. Eventually, the kids just did their own thing and came home for dinner. The adults all got along, didnāt get angry if another parent yelled at your kid, didnāt fuss if you fed them pizza but no salad. It was paradise.
SumGoodMtnJuju@reddit (OP)
This is very similar to our experience. It feels like we won the lottery bc we have the neighborhood full of kids, the cool parents who let their kids go out and roam and play (takes a village right?) We feed them, let them just be kids without much supervision. Itās been a decade of this and Iām grateful every day.
ediblepet@reddit
That's heartwarming
NoEmployer2140@reddit
Iāve often wondered this as well. I grew up in a particularly rough side of Chicago and the rules were the same for me then. Now Iām old and live in a fairly safe city in the south. My children have always been nearby and easily reachable. I canāt remember anytime they were allowed to just roam until the street lights came on. One thing I laughed at was my (ex) wife ripping into me just a couple months ago because I told my 15 year old son to walk home from school. Itās literally a 2 mile walk down one street. I used to walk everywhere at that age. She was acting like this was a dangerous idea. I still donāt get it.
SumGoodMtnJuju@reddit (OP)
Unless it was on a major interstate or through gang member territory, I donāt see a problem! (Iām sure it was not!) Keep encouraging independence in your son. I have a 16 year old son and 13 year old son. We try to do the same.
HeyDugeeeee@reddit
Since I moved out of London and off a busy street my daughter plays outside all the time. If she isn't in the street she'll be in the garden. Not to say she isn't a couch spud a lot of the time but she loves being outside. A little older and she'll be roaming all over town with friends.
Hot-Freedom-5886@reddit
I grew up in a small town. My mom worked all day, came home to make dinner, and went to night classes for her graduate degree. We were largely unsupervised, ran from house to house, road our bikes until the street lights came on. We were locked out of the house in milder weather.
My kids have grown up in a large metropolitan area. I worked, but I took them to school, picked them up for sport, went back to work until 5. They had free rein of of yard and were allowed to go back and forth to their friendsā houses, our swim club, and after a certain age, the park across our street. But they were rarely unseen. There was nearly always a mom watching somewhere.
HelpfulRN@reddit
Sure they played outside after I made sure they had an adequate breakfast, ensure the hours were not between 10a-2p, slathered on sunscreen, placed protective coverings on their head/knees/elbows/wrists, bought sturdy grip sneakers to prevent falls on the playground, in the event of a fall I checked for a soft and non-concrete area below playground equipment that was within 6 months of inspection, packed a water bottle/hand sanitizer/snack/first aid kit in my backpack (CB walkie-talkie optional for no cell phone service),cleared the area of poison ivy and rabid animals, and left a cross-referenced care binder on the kichen counter for the credentialed sitter to watch the baby while we go in the back yard. I have already purchased supplies for the diorama we will make this afternoon. Otherwise, I am a horrible mom. Because GenX was proudly feral, we have to live by even more rules now! lol
Preskers@reddit
mineās the same with the sunscreen battles before ouutside play
skeeterbmark@reddit
The whole ākids donāt play outside anymoreā thing is nonsense. Our kids were outside constantly, as were most of the kids at our end of the street. My neighborsā kids are still outside all the time. Drive by a park on a nice dayā¦itās packed with kids.
East-Garden-4557@reddit
I raised my kids to be feral. I'm a feral mum. Trees were climbed, cubbies were built, bikes/scooters/skateboards were ridden, neighbourhoods were free roamed and explored. They got dirty, they played in creeks. They got scratched, bruised, battered, needed stitches or staples, they were all taught first aid but knew when it was serious enough to need assistance.
I would have a gang of kids in my yard because we had the biggest bounciest sport trampoline. I fed whoever was at home. Then they would all disappear to hang out at someone else's house.
I have a 14yr old and a few adult children now. They are all still feral. We all climb trees, we get dirty, we explore, we hike, we camp, we play in creeks, we catch bugs. Urbex is feral exploring for the adventurous. Some of them do rock climbing and bouldering, some do martial arts or boxing. We all love loud chaotic music and mosh pits, the pit is a family affair.
Feral is a multi generational lifestyle choice in my family, my parents are feral boomers.
Reader47b@reddit
Mine played outside a lot until they were about 12. Mostly they did when they had someone to play outside with. They did almost every day when we lived in a lower-middle to middle-middle-class neighborhood. When we moved to an upper-middle-class neighborhood, kids weren't out as often and they didn't play outside as often. By the time they were teenagers, it was rare for them to play outside. Maybe occasionally they'd go to the park to shoot hoops with friends, but they weren't outside much at that point. Mostly they'd be playing online with their friends. I'd say - why don't you just invite your friend to actually COME OVER??
YourGuyK@reddit
My kids played outside a lot when they were younger, but never really wanted to roam. Now they are teenagers and spend most of their time indoors. We still mandate outside time in the summer.
stromm@reddit
Yes and yes.
TJ_Fox@reddit
My son was born in the early '90s, just about the time when the big shift from free range to helicopter parenting was happening. I wasn't into "trends" but was aware of it through osmosis. I chose to take a free range approach, possibly made easier by the fact that we lived on a farm property, but also not far from the city, so we and then he, as a young teenager, spent a lot of time exploring downtown. I also encouraged him to get into parkour when that was a big thing. Looking back, I wouldn't have done it any other way.
whomovedmycheezwhiz@reddit
My daughter is 33 and grew up in a lake community. During the summers she was at the lake all day every day. During the school year she and her friends played outside at each otherās houses and the park at the end of the street. All us parents looked out for each otherās kids. She often tells me how much she loved her childhood. Ā
Mikethemechanic00@reddit
My kids are Alpha 13 year olds. They used to play outside at least half the day till they were 12. They cannot go far unless they are together and can track them. Itās crazy my mom would kick us out at 10am on a Saturday and we came back at nightfall. We would be blocks away.
Ray_The_Engineer@reddit
Mine were outside somewhat, until they were in the 12-13 range, when we bought them horses. Then they were outside A LOT, and quite independent. Horses cost us tens of thousands of dollars over the years, but I wouldn't change it. My girls changed radically, having to be tough, do hard work, and care for intelligent creatures that outweighed them by 900 lbs.
kevbayer@reddit
We had a swingset in our backyard for when they were younger, but there was no roaming. And no other kids in our neighborhood.
We moved when our two youngest were starting middle school. There was a park with a playground right across the street they could use. Mostly, at that age, it was hanging out with friends at our house or going to a friend's house.
ditchdiggergirl@reddit
My kids played outside constantly. When I told people āmy door is always openā, I meant that literally because neither my kids nor the neighbor kids could remember to shut the front door.
MagentaMist@reddit
My kids are adults. They were in middle school when smartphones were invented and online gaming wasn't a thing yet.
They were always outside even in their teens. Being into sports helped. I really tried to give them the freedom of the neighborhood, but still kept an eye on them. Fortunately, their friends' parents felt the same. When they were inside, they were reading or drawing.
That's not to say they didn't play video games. They did. But the most advanced tech we had was Game Cube, Wii, Gameboy and Nintendo DS.
RevToy@reddit
As young kids mine were always outside unless it was raining. Then they got older and found indoor hobbies they enjoy. Difficult for me because I was outside all the time until I was in my late 20s. I just started getting back out after my heart attack in 2020 and was hoping they'd follow suit, but they didn't.
largos7289@reddit
Younger kids yes then as they got older less and less
run_squid_run@reddit
My kids were very familiar with the school playground. Sadly, by the time the youngest was able to go, the playground was empty most of the time.
LayerNo3634@reddit
My kids are 30-something and I raised them with more freedom than I was comfortable with. It was important to me that they have room to make mistakes and figure things out.Ā Had a group of like minded parents. Our kids had lots of the fun stuff we did: bb gun wars, playing with fireworks, etc. We also frequently took them to the range to shoot. They grew up to be successful adults who have a good work ethic and don't expect participation trophies. To this day, they remain friends with the group.Ā My daughter wanted all of her "moms" at her baby shower.Ā
7eregrine@reddit
Sure, but I watched a fuckton of TV, too.
bumpynuks@reddit
Sometimes. Their mother has turned our house into the hangout spot.
PahzTakesPhotos@reddit
My kids are in their 30s, they go outside without supervision all the time.
Seriously though, as little kids, they were outside a lot. Their rules were to stay "in the yards", which was the backyards of our and the two neighbors' houses. They had friends in both houses and there were no fences/hedges between our yards. The public golf course is behind our houses, so there was (still is) a chain link fence on that side.
We live on a fairly busy street, right on a T-shaped intersection, so if they wanted to ride bikes, they had to stay on our side of the road. Because of the public golf course, we aren't on a proper "block" for them to go around. If we were on a normal street, then they would have been allowed to ride around the block. A half a mile down our street is a county highway, so they had to stay on this side of that highway too.
broohaha@reddit
Since mine is half-Asian she did get a lot of freedom to with her best friends down the street but weekend mornings were spent taking math classes which helped cover that stereotype.
Knight_thrasher@reddit
GFs now adult kids have had nothing but screen time their entire lives.
NoneyaBizzy@reddit
I live in a small town in a crowded area. Starting in 5th grade my kids would walk into town, my son's friends would hang out at the town fields playing soccer and basketball, etc. One day I was happy to come home and have to tell my daughter's friends to move their bikes that were left in the driveway. For better or worse, I know that eventually lead to them hanging out in some of these places (and classmates' basements) having some white claws. The biggest difference between my upbringing and theirs was I knew what they were doing.
After_Narwhal8582@reddit
I let mine play at the cul-de-sac on our street since I made friends with one of the moms down there. My child had a walkie talkie and everyone knew if mama genx was talking on the walkie that one of them kids better respond PDQ or my child would have to come home for the day. I was completely weirded out by strangers and as a child of the 70s's (72) I was exposed to multiple creeps and that was my biggest fear with those kids, During the same time her and a friend pulled a blow up water slide out of the shed at their house and hooked it up and were playing on it. My child got a bug bite on their upper back tthat got infected had to get it lanced at the pediatricians office. That was a nightmare! It was a great lesson though
Puzzleheaded-Cup7781@reddit
My daughters are indoor cats and my son runs free with his friends outside. They bike all over town.
Accurate-Response317@reddit
More often we were kicked out for being too noisy. Also inside of the hose was boring as fuck. If you wanted to keep your sanity, outdoors was the place to be. Plus when at friends houses you were treated well and your friends parents thought you were wonderful.
RealityDependency@reddit
Mine played outside a decent amount when they were young (generally in our yard). Entering into the teenage years, my son enjoyed being outside & running around with friends. My daughter quite preferred the comforts of indoor life. I always knew where they were, as they understood and complied with my expectations. And unlike my parents, I was able to track them via cell phones. š I encouraged them to be outside having experiences and breathing fresh air. They both did very well balancing devices and actual human contact. They weren't teens that were chained to their technology and became young adults that aren't. I'm grateful for that.
Lumpy-Artist-6996@reddit
My kids are mid to late 20s now. They played outside, but they didn't dissappear for the whole day. They rode bikes, played on swingsets in our yard, or the neighbors yard. During the summer, we set up an Intex pool, and I'd sit outside watching them splash around.
If they were in a group of four or more same aged kids, they could go to the neighborhood park alone. About half the time a parent would go along and hang out and read a book. The kids would have mostly been around 10 or 12.
By high school, they tended to be inside more, but my oldest loved basketball, so he'd head to the park to shoot hoops with whoever was there.
wonderbeen@reddit
Can only get me of them outside with the promise of payment for services rendered. Actually, that applies to all 3 of my teens š¤¦āāļø
OnehappyOwl44@reddit
I was mostly a SAHM, my kids were born in 1997 and 2002 and they definitely played outside. We lived on a military bases with lots of kids. They knew all of the neighbours so they could knock on someones door if they got into trouble.They had more supervision than I did but I encouraged outdoor play and imagination. We didn't have a computer in the house until 2002 and then it was shared and in the livingroom where I had full control for many years.
Some of the best gifts I got them led to amazing outdoor play. I got them a CSI crime kit one year that was a hit in the whole neighbourhood. I would hear them outside playing investigative police. They would draw chalk outlines around each other and take turns being the victim or the investigator. It had fingerprint dust and everything. That toy got so much use. It took 2yrs for them to loose interest mostly because they had run out of crime scene tape and finger printing pads. Besides that it was street hockey, playing in the sprinkler, 100's of freezies for all the kids.
They had such a nice childhood. It's sad to think that future generations may not experience this.
CrouchingGinger@reddit
Mine are millennials so I let them free range a good amount. Buddy system was a requirement as well as helmets when bike riding.
Theyāre both very independent now. Put themselves through school and pay their own way.
discgman@reddit
You left out the part in the 70's and 80's where kids started end up missing and on the back of milk boxes.
Solid_Association_49@reddit
I think there was always missing kids. It was the development of milk cartons that changed.
EmbarrassedAge7612@reddit
Our kids played outside until about age 12. Then it became about video games and cellphones. It was like pulling teeth to get them to be outside
MuttsandHuskies@reddit
My kids stayed outside too. Of course my kids were born in the early 90s so a little bit before the helicopter parenting kicked in. But I let him go on walks and head out to the woods and I knew they were doing stupid shit thatās how they learn.
rks1743@reddit
We just don't have the woods for our kids that we had growing up. We had just enough for the boys to pee outside and build a mini-fort.
The kids didn't have much unstructured play but were in organized sports as soon as they could run. Our kids went to private schools so they never had organic friends in the neighborhood but still went swimming and climbed trees with a few other kids.
They weren't glued to the tv, video games, or their phones but that meant I never said No when they wanted to outside and play.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Mine did too.
Jumbly_Girl@reddit
Also the generation that started watching Phil Donahue and Oprah after school and saw all the kidnapping stories.