I cant see your willy so you must have used fake pee
Posted by Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit | Truckers | View on Reddit | 264 comments
Posted by Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit | Truckers | View on Reddit | 264 comments
Straight-Painting756@reddit
It’s not even worth it anymore . Ofc “ shouldn’t smoke “ while driving .
This ain’t jail man . It keeps getting more and more ridiculous.
Penguin_Arse@reddit
The most ridiculous thing is that they can test your saliva and it'll actually show if you've smoked in the last 12 hours so they know if you drove high instead of checking if you were high on your day off.
ignoreme010101@reddit
I mean, this is the way towards a future where we could, for example, be able to smoke a j while on vacation instead of how it is now where even taking a week off you still cannot look at bud lol
Penguin_Arse@reddit
OP was baiting a bit with the title
The article is saying exactly that, they do say in the article that saliva tests is being introduced and only if you refuse and demand a urine test they'd need to see.
THC stays in urine way longer than in saliva. The only reason to refuse would be because you're high and it's easier to fake a urine sample of they can't see you piss it, which is why the title says what it says
ignoreme010101@reddit
gotcha thanks! Yeah "baiting" lol that's a fact!
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
Just star at the observer right in the eyes and assert dominance
angrydeuce@reddit
And make sure you drop your pants and underwear all the way down to the floor, letting your ass catch the breeze.
If they ask why, just tell them "Feels good, man".
SamuraiJono@reddit
I had to do one for a company once, first two tests came back as invalid. Not positive, not negative, just invalid. First day of orientation I met the trainer guy and got told he'd be doing the observation. I was told to drop my pants to my knees, do a 360 turn and pee in the cup.
rockinrobin9999@reddit
This happened to me too! So the lady rejected my first pees powering trippin then the one she watched were negative dilute ofc like in there 5 hrs each time this happened twice in a row and it was for pre-employment so looks bad af I don’t think I’m gonna get the job now. I’m clean bc other reasons so I’ve never been worried about dropping dirty. But these tests r fuckin bssss either way!! I’m gonna ask to pee in front of the person from the start next time! Watch me all you want just don’t fuck up my career cuz ur a bitch ugh I can’t afford to waste all this time in this economy damn dude
angrydeuce@reddit
Sounds like a missed opportunity for helicopter dick to me
BagSignal7553@reddit
Jerk off in his face
AustinLostIn@reddit
Their eyes are on your dick so they won't notice.
sleepygent@reddit
Sadly this is true. I've been on probation and had to do it. They like to pick gay men for the job who seem to love it. Fucking creepy.
cwreck01@reddit
No, you make them hold it and you stroke their hair while you fill the cup.
devilinblue22@reddit
Piss on his leg
Battlejesus@reddit
Bush league. Piss on the receptionists leg as soon as you walk in
OneSkepticalOwl@reddit
Bonus point for doing the helicopter for maximum coverage
G0DCyCL0nE@reddit
That's the fucking power move. Make them so uncomfortable with the eye fucking.
AdministrativeWin873@reddit
Ill.have them hold the cup while i try to aim looking into their eyes
polarjunkie@reddit
This is misleading. They are working on a new test, an oral swab. You can't fake the swab. If someone can't do the oral swab for any reason once it comes out, they have to do a witnessed pee test. There almost no reason someone can't do an oral swab.
ignoreme010101@reddit
I am so confused, OP specifically says 'urine' so it can't just be about saliva lol
TiddybraXton333@reddit
It’s legal in Canada. Just like having a beer. Only thing is the testing sucks and can’t discern whether it was 2 hours ago or 20 house ago. Doesn’t make sense
PM_ME_FLOUR_TITTIES@reddit
So then it's not at all like having a beer since it can't be tested the same?
Penguin_Arse@reddit
It can be tested the same, they just won't because drugs are bad
po3tik1@reddit
This year is my last renewal. I’m over it. 70 hour weeks consume your life, hazmat and physical renewals. Cost of living going up. Too many regulations. Not worth it anymore at all
Straight-Painting756@reddit
I wanted to be a cdl driver for years , right around Covid I realized it wasn’t the safe play for my self anymore .
Lone_Wanderer2076@reddit
Still can fake it, have they not seen Gattaca?
adamv2@reddit
I have a shy bladder. I have trouble peeing when someone is at the stall next to me. This would’ve a disaster
Significant-Use-5136@reddit
same protocol as in the military I guess someone’s gotta stare at dicks.
flowermaneurope@reddit
Okay, so whose going to quit their day job and become a pecker inspector?
Baconated-Coffee@reddit
The headline leaves out a lot of important details.
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
It does. Its just a click bait title. They want saliva tests not a complete observation of you taking a cup wee.
ignoreme010101@reddit
wait wait so we arent actually going to be observed while pissing you mean?
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
Unfortunately no
NakedAggression@reddit
Then why use a click bait reddit post for a click bait title?
Click bait all the way down
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
Because the click bait title was funny. Also its reddit after all.
NakedAggression@reddit
Its funny if you're immature I guess. Maybe you just need some karma farming
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
Bruh what is mature to you? Nothing being funny. I bet your a blast to hang out with.
BlacktopProphet@reddit
*you're
I'm probably not fun to hang out with either
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
Ohh shit reddit spelling police just arrived. Atleast you know you live a miserable life.
BlacktopProphet@reddit
I blame all the truck driving I've been doing...well that and I haven't been able to beat off quite the same since losing my favorite arm in 'nam...I'm gonna need to double-plunge my doodle-hole twice as hard tonight, that's the only way I'll ever recover from your scathing wit. It's horrible ☹️😢☹️😢😭
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
Lt. Dan
hippie_twiggie@reddit
Oh shit you're illiterate. Never tried after 6th grade huh? Did you even make it that far?
wraith555666555@reddit
I'd hang with ya 😂
NakedAggression@reddit
Bruh? Lol no need to explain further..bruh
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
OK bruh bruh
MEDIOCRE-JACKASS@reddit
Clickbait or not, very well, Dr. Weiner House is in and ready for observation and leakage. Seriously. Ill look em right in the mf eye too. If they actually did somehow pass a law that requires literal direct observation of urine tests, that is the way to go about it. Strike fear into their hearts with your oddly colored thingamajig lmao. Anyways good talk.
SamuraiJono@reddit
The idea that it's possible to make someone uncomfortable whose entire job revolves around watching dudes pee is pretty funny.
charonco@reddit
This reminds me of something I said to the veterinarian one time. I had a dog that liked to eat its own shit. She gave us something to put in its food that was supposed to make the shit unpalatable. I asked her what could possibly take make shit taste worse.
SamuraiJono@reddit
Ever tried dog food? I haven't, but I can't imagine it tastes very good.
DrewVonFinntroll@reddit
Yeah but the article doesn't specifically say you cant take your dick out during the swab test.
driver004@reddit
I have nothing to hide and can prove it officer
ComprehendReading@reddit
"But you don't even have the balls to cavity search me, officer!"
driver004@reddit
In fact I dare you to show your balls and get it waaaaay in there
Virel_360@reddit
That’s actually how I administer the swab test…
NostradamusJones@reddit
This is just amazing outside the box thinking. Get yourself an ice cream.
mindsunwound@reddit
Yeah but for some of us that means taking our trousers off completely, I for one am hung like a tin of kippered herring, short but wide.
Usual-Efficiency-305@reddit
Not even reading the rest of the comments, you win.
No-Obligation2925@reddit
I’ll let em see my whizzinator
Delicious_Peace_2526@reddit
Is this a human rights issue at some point. I don’t want someone to watch me pee and most people don’t.
Occams_RZR900@reddit
Then don’t piss hot and don’t get caught cheating the system. Those are the only reasons you have an “observed” test. This has been the case since at least 2018. It isn’t anything new. This is just rage bait likely posted by a bot.
And no, it is not a human rights violation (don’t be dramatic). You have the right to refuse, you just don’t get to keep your CDL privileges if you do.
Delicious_Peace_2526@reddit
I don’t want to whip out my penis and pee in front of an examiner. I image female drivers don’t want someone watching the pee exit their vagina either. It’s humiliating.
Occams_RZR900@reddit
Then I guess you can choose a new line of work. Anyone that has been in the military will have little sympathy for you. I’ve also had a job that required a physical, so I’ve had a Doctor fondle my junk as a condition of my employment. No one’s forcing you.
Delicious_Peace_2526@reddit
I’ve had jobs that require physical. Nobody handled my junk. What dystopian world are you guys living in down there. Truck driving isn’t the military it’s a hardship job with mediocre pay at best.
Occams_RZR900@reddit
Then find a different one if you aren’t happy with it. No one is forcing you to do it, so stop trying so hard to be some kind of a victim.
Delicious_Peace_2526@reddit
There aren’t many other jobs that require me to show my penis.
Occams_RZR900@reddit
I’m confused, are you wanting a job that lets you show your penis? Or are you complaining that you might be in one that does? Because like I said before, no one’s forcing you to work the job if you don’t like the requirements. Like you said, there’s lots of jobs that don’t require you to perform an observed urine test, so go find one of those.
Delicious_Peace_2526@reddit
I’m saying you guys should understand that human rights apply in the workplace and should demand better. You should be able to be a truck driver and not pee infront of a stranger. Truck drivers are treated like criminals in the USA and it could be changed.
Occams_RZR900@reddit
I guess you missed the part about the only time you’ll be required to be OBSERVED during a drug urine sample is if you have already FAILED one previously, or if you have been caught attempting to CHEAT one. So I guess I’d argue those people already have proven themselves to be “criminals”. This rule is nothing new, it’s been around since about 2018. They are NOT doing observed urine samples for every drug test. But it’s great a screenshot of a supposed “article” headline is enough to get you up in arms without ACTUALLY reading the whole story.
fdnM6Y9BFLAJPNxGo4C@reddit
In reality, probably not as the career is a choice.
Jokingly, there are plenty of former military members with pecker checker experience (myself included) that could be employed.
Delicious_Peace_2526@reddit
Nobody goes trucking 60 plus hours a week because they want to….
fdnM6Y9BFLAJPNxGo4C@reddit
Barely anyone works in any field because they want to. It takes money to survive a modern economy. Trucking is not uniquely shitty in that regard.
Delicious_Peace_2526@reddit
That’s why we need to have rights in the workplace. It’s not as simple as “you chose to be here therefore you must submit to absolutely anything we decide”
fdnM6Y9BFLAJPNxGo4C@reddit
Good luck, a drug tested field requires drug testing *shocked picachu face*
Delicious_Peace_2526@reddit
I’m in Canada where it’s not a drug tested field. We do however have to enroll in a dot testing program if we want to haul cross border loads. We do just fine up here without drug testing. You guys should rally for change.
Sacr3dangel@reddit
Does it matter? It’s not like the current government cares anything about human rights…
Barry_McCockinnerz@reddit
But it’s smol
Opuswhite@reddit
What ever they can hold and shake it too
edsavage404@reddit
Do they wanna hold it too?
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
They probably should start checking it and make sure its real.
notinthislifetime20@reddit
I distinctly remember a discovery show about a strap on flaccid dong that used a small pump or something to “pee” into your analysis cup. I’ve never been able to find it again but it was early 2000’s and I have no idea what the show was actually about. You’d think a device like that would be way more popular and well known but it disappeared.
2317@reddit
The Whizzinator
ctrlaltowned@reddit
I remember the first time I saw that in person. I asked the guy what that was for, and his response was hilarious. “For fetishes.”
Ayasdad@reddit
Whizzinator
genocyde26008219@reddit
Kid got caught in the military with one. Thats just one I heard about from my base 😂 it’s a thing.
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
Its still around can find them at head shops
Metaltom1970@reddit
I don’t remember the player but an NFL running back was busted trying the fake dick.
04limited@reddit
They want to taste it too
WeDemAgs@reddit
Yea it’ll help save time for your physical
onedollarcereal@reddit
I can only do it if you hold it this way
kronicpimpin@reddit
New job listings for “Pecker Checker”
Revolutionary-Key177@reddit
Man and here I was thinking they might even make weed legal, NAH pull out your dick and let me look at it while you pee 🤣🤣🤣🤣
venusunusis@reddit
They’ll be collecting all those pissbottles around the lot
rarzwon@reddit
They just wanna see what you're... "hauling".
Mad_Ronin_Grrrr@reddit
They're going to be disappointed.
313MountainMan@reddit
>I guess you could call that a dick. Hehe.
https://youtu.be/E80mSufP_84?si=hsdykf1oXGGgYq26
wiretapfeast@reddit
You know, Quasimodo predicted all of this
hackingmule@reddit
Fuckin' Rasputin, this guy
Cyanide612@reddit
There’s a cat who really was gone.
SnakeandNape5000@reddit
You leave Comley Trucking and everything else that belongs to OP including his hemroid donut the fuck alone!!
deadpat03@reddit
Longer than the width of your drive tires. So long they cut it off put in a jar to worship it.
EddieTreetrunk@reddit
Super single ?
TacoRedneck@reddit
Put 4 macaroni together and it makes an 8
jo-jo70@reddit
Must be at least 4/32” to be road worthy.
kang9400@reddit
🤣🤣🤣
Sharp_Requirement_50@reddit
Amen
OneSkepticalOwl@reddit
A hog. That's right, only one, but it's huge and on my way to get it slaughtered
Eatmymustardsauce@reddit
Hog so big you gotta slide your seat back 2 notches to axle out
NorseOfCourse@reddit
Hogs....
choate51@reddit
Government so small it can fit in your bathroom!
musicalmadness1@reddit
I mean during my time in military unit was in field. Me and 6 people had to go back for appts we could not miss. Got back out later in the day and asked one of my guys. "Whats up at the portashitters cook mess up eggs again?" He laughed and said. "I fucking wish man they pulled a company ua but only on the guys." because as the col said. "It would be to embarrassing to do it to the females." So the person being tested and watcher had to fit in the portashitters. Dont know how they managed that BS but me and the 6 with me got back to late for them to make us do it
ahshitidontwannadoit@reddit
In the Navy, the MAs were the ones that got caught with "dick watch".
musicalmadness1@reddit
Oh we have ncos who do it. Males for males femals for females of course. They tried to get me to do the course as a cpl I showed up the 1sg looked at me laughed said "we only allow sgt and above why did they send you?" I laughed and said. "No clue top, I told them I couldn't as a cpl." He told me disappear for the day.
Cute-Region-3449@reddit
Ah the shittiest rank in the Army 😂 considered an NCO for the unit BS but not for the “important stuff” NCOs are supposed to do
musicalmadness1@reddit
Yup.
genocyde26008219@reddit
Rite of passage as soon as you sewed on E-5 for USAF.
Dude-Man-Bro-Guy-1@reddit
any day now
SpartanDoubleZero@reddit
I just needs to check ya aaaassshole
choate51@reddit
thought it was gon a be this clip
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
That about sums it up. Fucking hilarious 😂
merv1985@reddit
Are there that many female inspectors to watch female truck drivers ????
mwonch@reddit
LOL! This is already an active regulation.
AsoftDolphin@reddit
Is this ai
MichellesBuldge@reddit
Cool. Now do politicians
Bulkhead@reddit
Meat gazer not just for the military anymore.
Ch4lup4B4tm4n92@reddit
Seems like government reach around. I mean overreach
Elderado12443@reddit
I just survived a heart attack for this job. You can’t have my dick too. 🖕🏼
sunsy215@reddit
Its a good thing im a messy pisser
Patrickforever@reddit
Where do I apply?
External_Result_8560@reddit
I’m gunna turn their way and and piss while staring directly into their eyes while moaning
EatLard@reddit
You know it’s damn near impossible to piss with a hard-on, right?
IndependentPlum8794@reddit
Piss accurately with a hard-on.. sometimes you just gotta pee before the morning wood lets up. Thats when you hit jump in the shower and kill two birds
SashaDabinsky@reddit
Make sure to piss on their leg too.
tyrannocanis@reddit
This is so insane
Matlovestruck@reddit
bro i can barely go with someone in the next stall and now they want a front row seat
FullAutoAssaultBanjo@reddit
Hold your breath while you try to go, I promise you'll start pissing. About three seconds before you'd pass out.. but it works.
IAMATruckerAMA@reddit
Hold your breath until you pass out so you can deal with the humiliation your government has decided you deserve for being poor =)
EatLard@reddit
I take a deep breath, picture the Death Star firing sequence from Star Wars, and let the breath go. Works every time.
Matlovestruck@reddit
Lmao 😂
po3tik1@reddit
Literally about to pass out trying to push a drop out at the Pilot bathroom.. this guy took the urinal right next to me at a rest area and my bladder seized up like it had an oil leak
Jacktheforkie@reddit
Give me a couple beers, that’ll get a sample out
ShoebillJoe@reddit
Dude I have paruresis bad. My bladder would burst and I would die of sepsis before I could pee with someone watching me. If this became law I would literally have to find a different profession.
lildobe@reddit
Naw, you just need one of these:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LMNPH87/
NostradamusJones@reddit
TELL THE TRUTH BRUH
SweetTea3_10@reddit
Well to be fair that's a very easy way to eliminate a lot of cheating.
MacandMandy69@reddit
Excuse me while I whip this out!!!!😏
fredbear1964@reddit
Finally I won't have to pay someone to look at my dick ! So this could actually save me so.e money 💰!!!!!! Lol
Rare_Indication_3811@reddit
This is getting better and better with the minute… 😂
FightingFlaresandNF2@reddit
I’ll never forget when I pulled for RRR Express in 2008 I had to renew my DOT Physical somewhere in Columbus.
They made me take my shirt and pants off and put on a gown and this male doc came in had me lay down and started at my neck and pushed all the way day. Then he made me stand up and walk from one end of room to the other and he said I had a nice walk. There was no nurse in room. I asked him what that was about cause I had been driving 3 years and never did that. He said he was checking my back and him pushing down the front was to check for any lumps! I am a female.
brandmonkey@reddit
I have a shy bladder I can't even go if so eone is in the room.
chico-dust@reddit
Pretend you can't go and when they inevitably ask "can't go?" spin around and say "huh?" and pee on their shoes. Instant privacy
SaltAndBitter@reddit
Goddamn it... I thought I left the meat gazers behind when I got my 214...
genocyde26008219@reddit
Sooooo like back in the military? Okay. Nbd. Observer better take me to dinner and a show after though or I’m gonna cause a ruckus!
Kindly_Region@reddit
They are gonna have to hold it for me to then
kang9400@reddit
😂
highlyelevated_207@reddit
Good lord
Metaltom1970@reddit
So who’s watching the female drivers? This seems very invasive. I went to nuclear A school for the Navy and they actually did stand there to see dick in cup.
jHugley328@reddit
From what I can tell, its only if you tested positive at one point or tried to cheat the system. Don't worry guys, your pee pees are safe. Just dont do drugs.
PeakNo6892@reddit
But what if I want someone to watch?
SRB72@reddit
Ever?
DreamsServedSoft@reddit
for your health and wallet yes
SRB72@reddit
But what about happiness and well being?
polarjunkie@reddit
Yes but it won't even start until the start doing the oral swab drug test which isn't ready for mass use yet. If you can't do the oral swab, which you can not cheat, you must pee in front of someone.
It's also not a huge deal. Many refineries drug test every single person that enters on a random day every month and it is an observed urine test for every single last person.
kaneabel@reddit
Which is the way it’s always been. Back in 2018 I had an inconclusive come up and they wanted to pecker check test afterwards
Occams_RZR900@reddit
Yeah, but that isn’t as shocking as a disingenuous post title…
Actual_Investment169@reddit
It has to be mandated a female does my drug screen from now on.
Pur3k0912@reddit
Listen. If so many of yall weren't out here using fake pee then maybe we wouldn't have to...
Glad_Inspection_2702@reddit
This is for return-to-duty & follow up tests or SAP drivers not for the regular driver who stays clean. Rest assured boys!
bentstrider83@reddit
The driver shortage gets worse. Either people getting hauled away for drugs. Or a completely sober person getting hauled away for an attack on their appendage.
Radiant_Swan187@reddit
Love some good clickbait
Substantial_Ride_804@reddit
Perverts
DANO8503@reddit
I know a lot of guys that are gonna get fucked up by this
HunterShotBear@reddit
When I was in the Navy one of my buddies got put on dick duty for piss tests.
I had to submit my sample and he got to watch. Didn’t have to just see my dick, had to watch the piss exit my dick and enter the cup.
I just kept trying to make awkward small talk with him the whole time to throw him off.
Then I got to razz him out at the bars a couple days later about it.
“How many dicks did you see?” Etc.
We were making sick jokes at him for weeks after that.
Active-Blacksmith-41@reddit
Ahhhh yes. The good old pecker inspector duty. It’s all fun and games until they start making drivers inspect other drivers pecks….
po3tik1@reddit
This year is my last renewal. I’m over it. 70 hour weeks consume your life, hazmat and physical renewals. Cost of living going up. Too many regulations. Not worth it anymore
sk8zero0619@reddit
Nothing to see here. Move along
badmechanic12345@reddit
Did it in the army everytime. You just got to put on a show for them like genital origami or something along those lines
nightmurder01@reddit
Just in case anyone wants to actually read the article
the1theycallfish@reddit
Taking good jobs from hard working lot lizards and such.
Always_Shifting_4459@reddit
Back in the Army days we called them meat gazers... funny thing is the NCO in charge of that in my company, a Staff Sergeant (E-6), still ended up pissing hot 🤣 and was sent to battalion to later be chaptered out
DependentCup9181@reddit
It may be short, but at least it’s skinny.
The666Apes@reddit
I'll stand butt naked in the lobby and make them hold the cup
EEDDER89@reddit
I’m gonna pee all over the place “on accident”
papisilla@reddit
I'm going to request them to hold it for me if this is what it's coming to
BackDoeMediaTV@reddit
Good!
Leto_ll@reddit
It's a damn shame people that read the article and got informed before commenting are at the bottom of the stack. But that's trucking lol
Benzman671@reddit
Sad news for weewee shy people like me
RavenFNV@reddit
We have an in house clinic at my facility and the nurse said during my last random that if I was bringing a bag of piss to work every day just on the off chance of getting random UA’d, I deserved to pass
botgeek1@reddit
That's how the Military does it.
Kobeer01@reddit
Whip it out, piss all over them.... Assert dominance.
NorseOfCourse@reddit
Only if they buy me a case of Banquets first.
mrbreeze223@reddit
Here, hold the cup, and get on your knees, so you can get a good look.
9inchpapii@reddit
I can snort an 8 ball of dope and hell maybe even speed ball 3-4 days before a piss test and pass it with flying colors no fake pee no detox nada. But i smoke a joint 28 days ago and im in trouble.
The problem is 100% the test. There should be a metabolic level cut off like there is in testing for blood alcohol levels. Are you high right now vs did you hit a joint at a party 3 weeks ago off duty.
Imaginativested@reddit
There actually is a certain level that is not considered positive for thc metabolites. This is why after a preliminary positive they then use gas chromatography on the other sample. That is why they split the sample into 2 with the fist being tested with test strips and the other in case a positive comes up it is retested with gas chromatography. This is why they say you won't test positive for being around smokers because your levels will be low but passing yet still detectable.
Drunknmasterr@reddit
Just buy the quick fix with the fake peen??
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
I think they will need to pull on it and few times to make sure its real.
StoneDruid@reddit
make sure to give it a couple twists
ivyentre@reddit
And here I was hoping they'd EASE weed restrictions one day 😆
Automatic-Brother770@reddit
No, Its just small
xxenoscionxx@reddit
The Department of Transportation will require “directly observed” urine drug testing in federal workplace situations where saliva testing has been called for, but is not possible. The clarification to DOT drug and alcohol testing procedures is the latest development in the trucking industry’s years-long push for oral fluid testing as an alternative to urine testing.
Chamber53@reddit
The DOT finalized rules resolving urine collection procedures when oral fluid testing is unavailable. Directly observed collections are strictly limited to:
tampering or cheating
contraband discovered on the employee
follow-up and return-to-duty testing after a prior violation
specific atypical lab results where the MRO finds no legitimate medical explanation.
miscgeckos@reddit
As a woman though, how would they even witness it? I mean, if someone really wanted to fool the test, they could easily shove a clean pee filled condom or something inside them, then squeeze for it to come out into the collection cup. Impossible to tell which hole it’s coming from unless you’re underneath.
(Unfortunately I’ll never know bc weed makes me extremely physically ill so I don’t consume it in any form but I figure this is what I’d do)
obligatedjesus@reddit
If they're going to start standing there and watching the least they can do is hold the cup for us
dirty_hooker@reddit
Tell them you need to shake it gently and give them the Luis CK treatment.
Reminder: we could use mouth swabs to distinguish between someone who got high in the last ten hours and someone who got high over the weekend.
JoshHatesFun_@reddit
So they wanna see my biz and stick things in my mouth?
My rates are $50 an hour, minimum two hours, no kissing on the mouth
Far-Implement3231@reddit
I'll sit to pee then they can watch that..🤣🤣🤣🤣
jyster1996@reddit
I mean I have no issue with this. Being in the military, you take drug tests every so often. And this is how they do it. They watch you pee in a cup so it’s something I’m used to
bearded-trucker8@reddit
I failed a random test in dec of 23. Still taking directly observed drug test every couple months. I’m to the point where I can have a full conversation with the guy staring at my shit while I piss. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not… 🤔
Tall_Investigator611@reddit
This is such utter bullshit and an invasion of privacy...
Renamis@reddit
I just wanna have the option of a blood or hair test instead. Makes it a lot easier and skips the shy bladder stuff. Hair has the "history" problem, but I know better than to ever do anything because I've seen people burned on things showing up past when it should.
Let me yank out some hair and be done.
Jimmychanga2424@reddit
They just do a little snip. No yanky
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
Saliva should be the standard.
Renamis@reddit
I don't much like that one, I tend to gag. So I still prefer a wiz to that.
Scared-Consequence27@reddit
Fucking meat gazers
Islanderwithwings@reddit
I95 Connecticut weigh station used to do this. Till drivers started showing up in adult diapers and dot said hell nah.
Jamo3306@reddit
Jesus. Why lord? Why do I have to live in the time of legalization for EVERYONE, but Truckers!?! Was i so bad?
WeDemAgs@reddit
Ah yes, the ever reliable news source Marijuana Moment. I wonder if they’d say outrageous things to further an agenda.
ArchAngelStMichael@reddit
Ah, just like the Army
SummerBoi20XX@reddit
Forget what we think about it, the nurses shouldn't stand for this. There's what? 3 million drivers in this country. How many man-hours of looking at wizzing trucker hog is that? On top of all the parolees they're already watching. They can't possibly have time for that.
AbrocomaUnhappy9405@reddit
Not to mention im 100% sure they dont want to. Seems like blood test be easier at this point
get-off-of-my-lawn@reddit
Show me some pipe boy
TheHappy-Jello@reddit
Watch the trucking industry crash
-no-condoms@reddit
Do they wanna shake it too?
jabber1990@reddit
i've taken plenty of drug tests (randoms or pre-employment, not post-accidents) and i've always found it funny how they work on the honor system
so i'm all for having to be observed
Alive_to_Thrive5@reddit
I mean bring me to dinner first, I'm hungry and diesel is expensive. This ain't a free show 😉
IronMonkey18@reddit
I have a shy bladder and it’s just a struggle for me to pee with someone behind me. I would not be able to pee with some other dude staring at my junk. Smh.
2dollahollaballa@reddit
In the military all drug tests are directly observed.
CurrentSummer1136@reddit
Plenty of FTL drivers are packing LTL cargo 😂
TyrannicalKitty@reddit
I can't even see my own willy as is
MrButak@reddit
"The Department of Transportation will require "directly observed" urine drug testing in federal workplace situations where saliva testing has been called for, but is not possible."
Gingerhick009@reddit
Fuck it they’re holding the cup and I’m not using a urinal. Also. Taking a viagra about 45mins before
CheesE4Every1@reddit
Sure! But I'm going to make it weird like I have every other time I've had to do this with someone watching. You're going to leave there uncomfortable and you might not make it through the night in your own head afterward.
musicalmadness1@reddit
We had a guy in one of my army units during ua's they had to watch. He'd fill the cup and take a shit. The watcher had to be there ENTIRE FUCKING TIME. We all laughed when he came up on ua's.
CheesE4Every1@reddit
That's exactly what I'm banking on too. No one outside the military or police is going to just let this fly and even then no one really wants to be the guy to watch you piss in a cup your kinda way
Wilgrove@reddit
Welp, time to buy some boner pills.
IBringTheHeat2@reddit
Tell the drug testing guy, “ your wife’s seen this a bunch already but this’ll be a first for you.”
Prestigious_Arm_1504@reddit
A lot of people use fake pee to pass drug tests.
blizzard7788@reddit
They can test my urine as often and anywhere they want. As long as they hold the cup.
gaseousogre@reddit
its like a penis but smaller
yeah-no-yeah-no@reddit
.Why the current administration is so obsessed with what’s in people’s pants all the time. Makes ya wonder.
Looking forward to lawsuits on this one.
SexyWampa@reddit
Why are Republicans so obsessed with seeing other dudes dicks? Y'all need to come out of the closet already...
LucHighwalker@reddit
But the closet is cozy.
__The-1__@reddit
FYI, if you piss two diluted samples "aka too much water" for the tests you pass with the assumption of diabetes or pre diabetes. At least for company tests ime, but the real strat is to not drive high.
cosp85classic@reddit
Everyone who served in the military is already use to this oddity.
Colors_678@reddit
lol, what is this the military 🤣
Throwmesometail@reddit
You body their choice
Alternative_Proof578@reddit
They want to see your pipi
DemonGauge@reddit
Just like the military lol
xoutlawtrucker@reddit
I am one of those shy bladder dudes. I will gladly wave it around and slap him upside the head with it, but there is no way I will be able to take a piss in front of him. I been with my wife since 1993 and the only time she has ever seen me piss is if I already got started and then she walks in. If they must "watch" can we get started first, and then call them in?
operative_mee@reddit
Pal mine is a comedian and did this bit. About 8 minutes but worth it. https://youtu.be/7A4BUDRoltY?si=s-gK39sf3DNy27Nn
dontdoxmebro2@reddit
If female drivers can request a female nurse to observe…. Can I do the same?
Beginning-Intern7976@reddit
Fake news!
Raeezordazetoo@reddit
Man, how they expect me to give a sample when I'm fully erect from someone watching?
Lonely-Animator-1750@reddit
I’m too shy for this…. Weiner smol
JoeLaForm@reddit
If they wanna see my dong that’s on them
Ban-KaiZenkai@reddit
If your gonna look at my dick might as well hold the cup too so we can both feel awkward in this special little moment
WallaWallaby011@reddit
What? Is this real!? As a woman I do NOT consent to this!
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
No the article is written for click bait. It talks about those who have a shy bladder and why saliva tests need to be used instead.
External_Result_8560@reddit
Needs to be passed asap
THC typically stays in saliva for 12 to 24 hours for occasional users, but can last for up to 72 hours (or more) in heavy, chronic users
Wasabi-Kungpow@reddit (OP)
Saliva is already a DOT approved collection method but there are no approved labs doing those tests.
Riyeko@reddit
Same. I have performance issues.... Have to pee really bad and drink 5 gallons before I show up and every damn time my body is like, "nah we have no pee, were dehydrated".
Having someone watch me?!
wombolishous@reddit
Its so easy to fake a test. My brother in law was doing meth for 3 years before something much worse than popping hot on a test happened. Destroyed his and other people's lives. I faked every test for 5 years because I didn't want to stop smoking pot, this would have definitely deterred me. On the other hand truck driving sucks so much already, this will take a lot of people out of the industry drug users or not. I don't drive anymore I don't like having a job where my dispatcher is halfway up my ass 24/7. I also don't like being able to accidentally kill several people in .5 seconds.
vacuitee@reddit
Posts like the narc yesterday asking how the guy driving a beverage distribution truck was buying weed at a dispensary certainly doesn't help this sort of thing.
Mad_Ronin_Grrrr@reddit
It's not my fault! Tiny Elvis has stage fright!