What is the most awkward thing you've seen, or been part of, IRL?
Posted by CobaltBlue389@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 191 comments
I used to manage at TGI Fridays, and the levels of forced fun managed from the top were abysmal. We did team briefings before each peak shift, and "baby shark" was used to motivate and energise essentially teenagers before every shift (before it became a viral kids thing)... yes I was conpliant. But I was dying inside.
Bob-Lowblow@reddit
There’s a blind guy who works for my organisation but in another team. He sits by us because that’s where they can set him up easiest. We were talking about where we park for work as we work in a town centre. Someone from his team chimed in and asked blind guy where he parked. There was an awkward silence before he replied, “the same place a park everyday”. Other guy again asked where that was. Blind guy had to tell him blind people can’t drive. It’s not like it wasn’t obvious either. Had has a PA and a guide dog!
Jetstream-Sam@reddit
God I just remembered a story about a blind guy my cousin mentioned. He's a policeman and he said he was sort of looking after a new guy, doing easy stuff like walking through the town center and so. Apparently they got a message over the radio about some guy who was wanted for some reason or another, and the new guy decided "Hey, we should ask people if they've seen him". My cousin said "Sure, but don't go stopping anyone who looks in a hurry"
After a few people said no, they came across a guy sat at a bench. My cousin said he was so clearly blind it was almost a joke. Like, guide dog, black sunglasses, and he had his white stick next to him. The new guy asked if they'd seen the local miscreant. Apparently blind guy chuckled and said, no, I haven't seen anyone"
The new guy took this as him being cheeky and decided to press the issue. "Oh, it's like that, is it? It's people like you that make our job horrible" Whereupon the blind guy, still staring at the middle distance, said "Sorry, what job is that?" When my cousin realized the guy hadn't introduced himself as police. The new guy got even angrier and said something like "Well, how about we have this conversation down at the station?" When my cousin stepped in, pushed new guy aside, apologized to the blind guy, explained the situation to him and apologised again, then dragged new guy off
He had to point out the guy was blind even after that, and even then he didn't believe him at first. He had to explain you can't just threaten to drag people away for what you think is mild cheekiness anyway, and that he was being horribly unprofessional
Luckily the guy didn't last long as a policeman after that. I still wonder how he got through all the training if he was that unobservant. I guess if he'd stayed, he wouldn't have made a very good detective
Which-World-6533@reddit
Seems a fairly obvious solution to driving. The dog can bark if he's going the wrong way.
autumn-knight@reddit
Parking by barking!
Which-World-6533@reddit
Dog can thump the car with it's tail if he gets close to a wall.
BlueAnthelios@reddit
When I worked in a popular UK chain supermarket we had a shift manager who was just deeply awkward, deeply unpopular, mean spirited sense of humour, and just had that unique talent of instantly killing the joke.
One night a small boy came in with a football. I lie awake at night wondering if he did this to delight and surprise us all and finally win our affection but without warning he ran up and seized the football from the child, kicked it into the air to do a trick shot all...and it got stuck inside the exposed pipes and light fixtures running across the ceiling. And we just had to carry on our shift in silence knowing it would be stuck up there for always and eternity.
He quit soon after.
DrKnackerator@reddit
did something like that with a 5 1/4" floppy disk at school. teacher wasn't about so we just started chucking them about like frizbees. this was in an unfathomably tall room. one story but the roof was like 45 degrees but in a big room that means very high.
I slung this disk and it just curled up and a corner lodged into the trim line at the axpex of the ceiling.
It was still there 5 years later when i left. unless they actually put scaffolding up to paint above 10ft (they only did that due to cost) it was probably still there when the place was demolished
bzzklltn@reddit
I asked a customer if he wanted a beef and vag pasty once. It was about 13 years ago. I still think about it.
breaded_skateboard@reddit
No beef for me please
gumdropsweetie@reddit
This is the best one lol. I would have died on the spot!
snarkycrumpet@reddit
at a wedding where the maid of honour did a speech about how everyone has a box full of happiness, but sad times would deplete the box a bit. but don't worry [groom] because we, the family will fill [bride]'s box for you if you can't. it went in for ages and we was crying with emotion. every single time the word box was used I started to become more hysterical and eventually 5 of the people at my table were horizontal with me, gasping for breath as we whispered "[groom] can't fill her box" it was hysterical and so cringingly awkward
paleblooddaviey@reddit
Similar to yours, I was at a wedding once where the minister, trying to be cool and use a word he’d heard but hadn’t understood, told the loving couple that he wanted their marriage to be a threesome with Jesus.
Only my wife and I were laughing.
chartupdate@reddit
It would end like most threesomes do, with the husband sat on the chair in the corner tugging himself off while Jesus makes his wife beg for mercy in a way she never does at any other time.
Dom-CCE@reddit
Speaking from experience there, mate?
jingscrivvens61@reddit
The idea for the speech probably came from a Doctor Who episode where Matt Smith said it in a much better way, without the double entrendes.
terracotta-cinnamon@reddit
I laughed so hard at this that the cats came to see what was wrong with me 😂
ChelseaMourning@reddit
I think she meant to use the term “bucket”.
breaded_skateboard@reddit
Its pronounced bouquet
PinkGinFairy@reddit
This is hilarious to me both for the childish ‘he can’t fill her box’ stuff but also that on their wedding day someone would give a speech about how he won’t always make her happy so they’ll do it for him. Not totally the point I’d be trying to make at someone’s wedding 🤣🤣
Jerico_Hill@reddit
Brilliant. The way you described this had me in tears of laughter with you!
OkStyle800@reddit
…
Temporary-Zebra97@reddit
The Snr MGT/HR meeting I was dragged into which evolved into stand up row with the HR Director and the Sales Director.
Salesperson, handed her laptop in to IT to say it wasn't working properly, IT discovered a massive stash of adult images, including lots of her creatively using sales props and noshing customers. Word spread, HR got pissy, suspended sales lass for an investigation, words of advice were given to the IT staff and any of their friends.
HR Director - "I want her gone its not professional legal or fucking appropriate to be noshing our customer base"
Sales Director - "No way she is our best sales person, she brought in 4 mill last year and I dont care who she noshes"
MD - I understand what your saying it isnt appropriate but £££££££
It all got much worse for the next hour, very awkward, cringey and hilarious in equal measure.
princess-moo@reddit
Did she get fired in the end
Temporary-Zebra97@reddit
No she was promoted with an upgraded company car and bump in package/bonus and continued to smash targets and I assume customers.
mr-ajax-helios@reddit
Wonder if she noshed a manager too after that meeting
michaelisnotginger@reddit
Queen
TheTjalian@reddit
That is one hell of a sentence
wallpapermate@reddit
And a suckcession plan.
MinimumSilver5814@reddit
What do you sell? Asking for a friend.
Temporary-Zebra97@reddit
Knowledge in the form of Books & Journals and a bit of tech/software.
Clemtastic1@reddit
Boss I worked for was leaving the country to return to his home country. One of the senior leadership gathered everyone around in a circle to do a speech but started it by pulling out a guitar and serenading him with 'leaving on a jet plane' the second hand embarrassment almost killed me.
I was also at a wedding once where the plus one of one of the guests, who had only met the couple that day, stood up at the end of the speeches and proceeded to sing to them a song he'd come up with himself.... he wasn't a great singer and the song was too long (and also a bit rubbish) so he would get to the end of a particularly warbly bit and people would start clapping only for there to be yet another verse.
Additional-Nobody352@reddit
Did he go home to get the guitar?
Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
I dare say they had advanced warning that this guy was emigrating (or whatever the word is for returning home)
Jetstream-Sam@reddit
In my experience, the guitar twat will usually have it in their car for impromptu events they need to make about themselves
Additional-Nobody352@reddit
Not seen the office have you ?
Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
Nope
Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
I am a performer, Tuna, and perform I will
Illustrious-Air-7777@reddit
Oh sweet cheeses! Were the initials of the guitar-playing boss AD or are there two such plonkers?
Clemtastic1@reddit
Omg there are two of them... PW in my case!
RecentTwo544@reddit
The first story is full David Brent.
CobaltBlue389@reddit (OP)
In both instances they attempted to steal the limelight and failed abysmally. Exceptional.
Jetstream-Sam@reddit
Limelight grabbers are the worst. Of course, Now I should tell a tale about how I would totally never do that, because...
No_Top6466@reddit
I used to work in bingo. I helped a woman propose to her partner on Valentine’s Day once, he seemed mortified but said yes. We also had 2 members of staff who were dating and he proposed to her on the stage in the middle of a bingo session. She said yes but after I had a chat with her it was clear that she was very disappointed he decided to do it this way during their shift.
LDNSarah@reddit
I worked in Tesco when I was younger and the team leader's boyfriend proposed to her over the tannoy.
No_Top6466@reddit
I would be so upset if someone proposed to me while I was at work, out of all the times and places to propose, it just feels inappropriate lol
LDNSarah@reddit
Imagine the photos 😂. Him down on one knee in the cereal aisle while she's standing mildly confused in her check shirt and headset.
thecockmeister@reddit
There's a video of me munching on some toast in a student flat, watching a flatmate of my then girlfriend (now wife) propose to their partner on the floor of their kitchen. Don't see the happy couple any more, but the video lives on in our friend group.
Breadcrumbsandbows@reddit
Mine was so bad I think I'd have preferred work. On a horrible all-inclusive holiday while he was almost blackout drunk and starting an argument about a kebab...decided while unable to get up off the floor that this was the special moment. What's even worse is that I said yes. And was set to marry him before COVID hit and it got cancelled.
No_Top6466@reddit
Oh bless you! I made sure to tell my partner that I wanted him to make the effort to make it special, I didn’t want anything fancy but I wanted it to be nice. If you are asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you then you should absolutely put thought and effort into it. Are you guys still together? What made you say yes in that situation, was it just because you felt like you had to?
Breadcrumbsandbows@reddit
Luckily not together! I don't know really...sunk cost falllacy maybe. I also really loved his whole family (I get on fine with my extended family but not the way I was close with his) l, and I got a lot of praise from them for supporting and improving him, I felt like if I left he genuinely wouldn't survive. I knew he was going to propose because he was a bit dumb, and I think I actually just wanted a wedding, not a marriage.
A second fun part was it was too big, so I took it to be resized myself...they told me that it was such poor quality costume jewellery that it just wasn't possible. He had told me it was a lab diamond because I'd always been clear I didn't want anything to do with the mining atrocities. Still didn't leave him!
COVID saved me as the wedding was called off and I realised that it was a chore driving over to see him while he worked about 40mins away.
I_like_Your_Face500@reddit
Made me think of this
No_Top6466@reddit
Haha I think I would start crying from embarrassment
weeble182@reddit
A lad walking ahead of me on the high street tried to cat call a woman in front of him and shouted "oi love, you want some shake with your chips.....".
She stopped, looked at him confused, he mumbled "I meant fries....not chips...." and awkwardly shuffled of. Never seen someone's swagger disappear so fast, it was amazing.
DualWheeled@reddit
I don't get it, even with fries instead of chips. What does that mean?
gin_atomic@reddit
It's supposed to be "Do you want some fries with your shake"
Because they're watching her arse jiggle
But he fucked it up twice
Amazing-Heron-105@reddit
Using an Americanism is cringe enough
weeble182@reddit
This is correct
HiroPr0tag0nist@reddit
It's supposed to be "want some fries with that shake" as in, the woman's bum is shaking as she walks. It's a dumb joke based on an American fast food order.
Kcufasu@reddit
Yeah I'm so confused - maybe it's an advert slogan?
CobaltBlue389@reddit (OP)
Hahaha 1 part awkward with 1 part karma. Love it
ACanWontAttitude@reddit
Watched a doctor discuss the patients positive HIV status, in front of her husband. The husband who had not known about this HIV + status.
HuntingTheWren@reddit
Laughter yoga at a conference. Scarring.
vajaxle@reddit
Wow that sounds truly horrific. I'm scared to even look up a video of that.
DrKnackerator@reddit
Was working for MS UK back in 95. On the run up to the windows 95 launch we are called in early one day all us support guys in mufti , at the front big tv with the a management sorts in shirt & tie.
They brought us in early to... watch the windows 95 advert with the rolling stones! queue akward dancing and swaying from the managment to the bunch of tired, 30% hung over cynical brits... with them encouraging us to join in. just so embarrasing. might have gone over better if they did it at lunchtime or after work.
And at another point there, the head of support (top bloke, but didnt do dress down fridays) being slow motion chased by an insane american woman senior manager who was attempting to cut off his tie. all around the department.
ibiacmbyww@reddit
When I was 16 I did a internship at an aerospace company. Almost everyone was a dick, but one guy was awesome. His party trick was eating a doughnut in one go.
"I could do that, easy." I said.
"Go on then." he said.
So I did. To rapturous applause. Strode out of the room with my arms held high.
Staggered back 30 seconds later, when I realised I couldn't breathe and was turning blue.
They slapped my back and it came out, covered in saliva, in one big chunk.
Deathly silence. Everyone was one iota away from bursting out laughing. All I could say was "I fucked that up", before lurching away. I went back to thank people, but never set foot in that office again.
CozJeez85@reddit
When I worked at the Co-op and they had rumble time at 2pm when all staff had to pull forward the shelves. They used to play Lets Get Ready to Rumble over the tannoy and we all had to comply. Our store manager tried to do the worm and kicked a trolley into an old lady, who fell into the potato bin.
Hopeful-Vanilla-2169@reddit
This killed me lol 😆
flyingredwolves@reddit
I think you win.
SmokingTheBowl@reddit
Oh god no
animal_behaviour@reddit
That’s what She said
Averagenotmean@reddit
That's the most I've ever laughed a reddit comment in ages. You have a gift, thank you for sharing
schmoolet@reddit
This is fuckin brilliant 🤣
WotanMjolnir@reddit
Twenty years ago I worked for WHS, supervisor on books. I was standing there trying to look important and a woman came up to me, looking for help. I remember this conversation verbatim, in spite of the time gap, for reasons that will become apparent:
She - Hello, can you help? I’m looking for a good book.
pinkdaisylemon@reddit
Nearly choked on my ice lolly reading this🤣🤣🤣
Silmarillien@reddit
I used to have a friend who picked me up and took me to his place to hang out. Once there, there were other people chilling, foods, drinks. I was like, okay, whatever.
Then my friend kept leaving, coming back with more people each time. It became clear that he was putting up a "party" but I assume he never told us in the first place because he thought no one would show up. Instead, he was telling people on a one-to-one basis to come over.
Every new person was as taken aback as the previous one at seeing so many people. And when we all realised this, we were sitting there awkwardly trying to make small talk while my friend was blasting the music hoping we'd start dancing.
Previous_Mushroom724@reddit
I got the exact reverse from a guy trying to make a move once ...
ToiletDestroyer6000@reddit
I feel like I’ve been witness and the awkward situation instigator to many awkward events in my life to the point that I am kept awake by sharp random memories coming back out of nowhere.
butwhatsmyname@reddit
Sometimes I involuntarily emit a little moan of "oh no" when one hits me.
monkey_kaleidoscope@reddit
Was at Disneyland having some food in one of the restaurants burger and chips kinda thing. Then suddenly it must’ve been time for the 20 minutes dance and all the wait staff suddenly jumped up on all the tables and started singing and dancing.
Their faces did not look happy about it at all, just reluctantly going through the motions, it was so surreal too.
Breadcrumbsandbows@reddit
At Banksy's Dismalland thing all the staff basically acted how you want to act being paid minimum wage in a terrible job. If you asked for a map they just screwed it up and threw it on the floor. Carousel attendant would just sit on a horse next to you and stare at you blankly for the whole ride. Sad dancing human puppets sounds awful.
monkey_kaleidoscope@reddit
Sounds about right though! Hate having to put an act on like that. Min wage minimum effort.
FlakyCelebration2405@reddit
Years back when I was 17, I landed a job that I didn't realise was commission only.
It was door to door sales.
On my first day, we all had to gather in a room whilst a manager shouted out the top earners for the week, and they played some corny music whilst the top earner had to run around high-fiving everyone.
Felt like I was in a fever dream.
Everyone seemed really enthusiastic.
I walked out about 10 minutes later.
Baffling!
VolcanicBear@reddit
My colleagues being strongly encouraged to chant "We will rock you", with the words modified to reflect our employer, at a thousand plus person conference centre.
Holy shit.
I still have a video of it. Horrendous. All of EMEA aside from the UK appeared to be loving it as well... Never seen so many people who would drink the look aid.
CobaltBlue389@reddit (OP)
The Americans I worked with in hospitality love that kind of sh*t. I need a case study on UK vs EU vs US levels of awkward tolerance
DiabolicallyOrange@reddit
A couple of years ago we had an American join my team at work. They'd moved for the job and had never been to the UK before.
Every single morning she'd burst into the office, huge smile plastered on her face, wishing everybody a wonderful day.
First day of her second week I had to give her a bit of a talk, tell her that we really don't do that kind of thing in the UK. Thankfully she did get a grip on British behaviour quite quickly!
JoeBagadonut@reddit
I remember going to a work conference where they had an American motivational speaker repeatedly encourage us to "show some spunk" and then couldn't figure out why we kept laughing lol.
Bifanarama@reddit
Facebook keeps showing me ads for a slilmline wallet with the headline "bulge in your pants?".
LOTDT@reddit
That's clearly intentional, so it grabs your attention. Not really the same as not knowing the word is dirty in another culture.
Bifanarama@reddit
In this instance I really don't think it is.
Content-Violinist613@reddit
Can’t really blame the company for you not getting what is obviously an intentional joke.
Difficult_Box_2825@reddit
If you want to read something fun about this, look up why Walmart failed in Germany!
flyingokapis@reddit
You could have just told us 😂
Difficult_Box_2825@reddit
I could, but there's a full article about it that I read a good amount of time ago. That'll be more interesting reading than my half remembered summary of it.
esn111@reddit
"One issue was the chanting. Walmart employees are required to start their shifts by engaging in group chants and stretching exercises, a practice intended to build morale and instill loyalty. Fiendish as it sounds, Walmart employees are required to stand in formation and chant, “WALMART! WALMART! WALMART!” while performing synchronized group calisthenics."
https://medium.com/the-global-millennial/why-walmart-failed-in-germany-f1c3ca7eea65
Yeah I can see why that wouldn't go down well in Germany. Along with the requirement to spy on your fellow workers.
RoyalConflict1@reddit
We had an American CEO for a while who seemed mystified that we weren't into this kind of crap
sleepyprojectionist@reddit
I have worked for a variety of American-owned companies with quirks like this.
Unfortunately I am genetically incapable of playing the corporate game.
I am not going to reinforce whatever crazy ideas that our completely detached from reality senior leadership have designated as “fun”.
If you want buy-in from me how about you give me a clear progression path and a pay rise now and again? No? Oh, but we can have free pizza once a quarter and occasionally a company branded pen or tiny power bank. Yeah…thanks.
HeretohelpifIcan@reddit
The company I worked for was US owned and occasionally a motivational strategy would try to swim across the pond. The worst was when managers were given stickers saying "I made a difference today!" and expected to enthusiastically slap them on the torso of unfortunate cringing recipients to wear for the rest of the day. Not taking part was seen as not being a team player. I'm actually being triggered as I post this...
CobaltBlue389@reddit (OP)
What an ungrateful subject! Do as we say and line our pockets, our penthouse needs a new pool! To be fair to Karen Forrester (TGI's CEO at the time, she got involved with the horror show forced fun)...
sleepyprojectionist@reddit
Our CEO never talks about his home, but he does like to make lots of analogies about his yacht.
During one all-hands town hall he was talking about taking sailing lessons with his wife and going yachting before pivoting into a speech about dealing with adversity after making dozens of people redundant.
Our GM/President had spoken up and said that getting rid of people to satisfy investors in the short-term was shortsighted, so the CEO sacked him.
Turns out that he was right and we struggled for a long while to hire competent staff.
TheTjalian@reddit
Our director at an old job spoke a few times about his Yacht and one day said "You guys really should go sailing, it's a ton of fun, maybe I should sort that out one day". To his credit, he closed the business for a day and took us all out on a professional sailing course!
(And yeah, not gonna lie, even as someone who can't swim, I had an absolute blast!)
snarkycrumpet@reddit
the more they encourage, the more I turn into a puritanical parody of myself who simply can't engage with it
michaelisnotginger@reddit
whenever I've been at offsites and 'fun' events the British contingent are always their own shellshocked corner. Up until the alcohol comes out.
Creepy_Radio_3084@reddit
That's because this performative crap is so cringeworthy to most Brits. Ugh...
DepartureAwkward5002@reddit
https://youtu.be/JOkQJm_UGM4?si=c_YLQlXEVroygHXP
flyingokapis@reddit
Woah, that's bad.
VolcanicBear@reddit
Oh, wow lmao.
Yup. Like that, but thousands sat in a conference centre presentation room.
Holy shit my employer stole it from Walmart hahahaha (although I now realise endless American companies probably do this)
Nandor1262@reddit
I went to a house party with a mate as his plus one. They set out a drinks area with mixers, wine etc. right next to their Mac Book which they were using for music. I was pouring a drink when someone knocked me a bit and my plastic cup flipped over went all over the Mac Book and the music in the entire party came to a grinding halt as the Mac Book’s screen went black. The hosts GF then ran over shouting “my fucking Mac Book you idiot” she grabbed it plugged it straight into its charger and short circuited it. I wanted to leave my friend got really offended he kept saying it wasn’t a big deal and to stay because everyone would like me. I stayed and people kept referring to me as “that guy who broke the Mac Book” with complete disdain for me
Nandor1262@reddit
Our Christmas meal was already awkward as most of us weren’t drinking or didn’t know what to chat about, there were a few moment of complete silence. When the restaurant decided to let a massive group of Carol Singers dressed like Dickensian characters come in and perform. They surrounded our table (and others) and started belting out a set of 5 carols. Staring into your colleagues eyes whilst a mixture of primary school children and OAP’s sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas behind you is extremely awkward.
.
Educational_Cow111@reddit
My friend was slowly entering her career as a porn star (I know) and invited me along to a “meeting” with her team. The things they discussed were enough to kill a Victorian child 10 times over.
meisobear@reddit
"we call this position the spinning Jenny"
Queeflet@reddit
Don’t forget the legendary Portuguese breakfast.
2roundabout@reddit
Valentines day 2003. Class mate brings a guitar and a cheap ring in to school. In home room class he then starts serenading a girl, she instantly went the reddest I have ever seen a person go.
He carries on for like 3 minutes playing Elton John, tbh he was actually pretty good. But wrong audience lol.
He then gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring and says will she be his valentine.
Girl looks like she wants the earth to open up and swallow her whole. Is clearly not into this in anyway. Asks him to speak to her outside in corridor where she gently said she was flattered but not interested.
So dude just kept on trying rom-com style schemes to win her over for several months.
Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
TBF that's a much more mature and considerate response than I was expecting
2roundabout@reddit
She was actually a really quiet and reserved girl. We never understood his obsession with her. He for soke reason had decided in 1st year that he was going to marry her despite her rarely engaging with him.
I knew she hated it but she was pretty chill and just didn't want to make a scene.
He actually tried a few things like that before epically giving up on her at about 16.
Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
Just imagine how hard he just cringe when he inevitably remembers this every so often as he lies in bed at night
2roundabout@reddit
You know. I haven't heard from the dude in 20 years but I reckon he doesn't care.
He was defiinetly some sort of undiagnosed neurodivergent. He genuinely did not pick up on or care about social curs ever.
bowak@reddit
What's home room? Is it like a tutor group?
2roundabout@reddit
Just was the class room we all gathered in for registration in the morning.
bowak@reddit
Ta.
Sure-Exchange9521@reddit
Yes.
bowak@reddit
Cheers.
JessicaEccles76@reddit
My cousin's first wedding. Started with his mum coming up to us and saying 'Thought I better warn- his best man is black. But you can't really tell..'. Then we went to a beautiful popular church in the county, followed by reception at the village hall. My cousin hadn't known this woman for long so we were a bit bemused how they had got this all booked so quickly. Then father of the brides speech - he reveals that the church and reception has been booked by them for her previous fiance, who had dumped her. Dad went onto say 'We weren't letting this one get away!' and ended his speech by throwing a handful of condomns at the happy couple. The marriage did not last....
ChelseaMourning@reddit
Retail role play in front of colleagues as “training”. Absolutely awful and I hope they don’t still do it. I can only imagine not because Gen Z don’t give a shit.
SmokingTheBowl@reddit
I work retail, and one of my Gen Z colleagues routinely tells off customers when theres even a hint of rudeness from them. They smarten up pretty quick too which is fun.
WullieUK@reddit
I'd like to hear an example... Intriguing.
Mentalist1999@reddit
I can just picture it being like the role play scene from The Office
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEdw_peJWBc
levezvosskinnyfists7@reddit
Some of the complaints will be false
intolauren@reddit
I had a large group chat with a bunch of friends. When it was one of the friend’s 21st birthday, we created a separate chat without her in so we could plan her a surprise party. (You can probably see where this is going and you’re right.) We all kept it a secret for several months, keeping any party talk in the right group chat. A couple of days before, I sent a series of messages about very specific party related food/items that I was picking up in town. Phone back in pocket. None the wiser. Except I’d obviously sent the messages to the group WITH the birthday girl in. Ruined the entire thing 48 hours before it was happening. She was a good sport about it and still pretended it was a surprise for the extended guests but I still cringe SO BAD when I think about it and it’s been almost 10 years. I wanted the group to swallow me up the moment I realised I’d fucked up an hour later when it was too late 😭
David_is_dead91@reddit
Went to see a play in the West End. The concept of this particular play is that a different actor does each performance, and that actor hasn’t read the script so they have no idea what they’re about to perform. A bit pretentious but the actors are generally pretty good, but there’s also a bit of audience participation - most importantly that the last “scene” is performed by a member of the audience while the professional actor lies down onstage.
In this particular performance, the audience member who came up on stage was clearly desperate to do so and knew what was coming (or so I thought), given that he was out of his seat and halfway onto the stage before the invitation was even put out to the audience. What followed was the most earnest, over-acted reading of a script I think I’ve ever witnessed. You could feel the collective cringe of the audience.
But that wasn’t all. This was actually the second time I’d seen this play, and when the guy got to the “end” I was sure we were missing something. Yet, he took his bows and was halfway off the stage before the stage manager ran on shouting “you’ve got another page” or words to that effect. Cue utter awkwardness as the volunteer then asked the rest of the audience “shall we just leave it there though”, who (understandably) said “no”, forcing him to read through that final missing page.
I believe I was a shrivelled collapsed version of my former self by the end of that show.
Yorkshirerows@reddit
I was texting a mate (who wasn't out with us) talking shit about a couple (who were both on the night out) who were cheating on each other.
He said something about how long can they both be oblivious and I replied saying "bet you £10 quid one of them finds out about the others side peice tonight".
Accidentally sent it to the night out group chat! Didnt realise until everyone started checking their phones and going quiet.
Then everyone checked their phones, they read it at the same time, went red faced, stormed off from the group and left.
Had to do some serious grovelling over the next week, and my mate got me on a technicality, I said only one would find out and both did so he didn't pay up, dick!
Okonima@reddit
If I was in your shoes I'd have argued (for far too long) that I was owed the £10! Saying "one of them finds out" doesn't mean that you're betting the other doesn't: no reference is made to the other person at all in such a wager.
Anyway, thanks for sharing :) I know I've posted on the wrong chat before, although nothing bad (so far!).
Yorkshirerows@reddit
He also claimed that the bet was void due to the fact I had influenced the outcome, something makes me think he never intended to pay! I have said he would be well suited to working in insurance, which didn't go down well.
I'm glad my fat thumbed foolery can bring joy to others!
apeliott@reddit
An old Japanese guy standing next to a girl in a French maid costume wanking himself off while staring at her legs as she tried to ignore him outside a busy train station in the middle of the day.
Puzzleheaded_Turn887@reddit
WTF
apeliott@reddit
Yeah, she was trying to ignore him and shuffled away a bit but he just shuffled closer and continued wanking.
Everyone was trying to ignore it.
Kcufasu@reddit
Everyone should have been trying to stop it wtf
Master-Trick2850@reddit
thats japanese culture, ignore it and carry on
their anti defamation laws are so strong that molestors can sue for being accused of molesting...
apeliott@reddit
I've lost count of the number of times I've been told by Japanese people to "just ignore it". Like, can we not for once and actually address the problem?
Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
The best they can do is mandating that all phones sold in the country have the shutter sound automatically on, and unable to be turned off, to prevent up skirting.
Seriously: https://www.tokyoweekender.com/japan-life/news-and-opinion/why-you-cant-disable-the-shutter-sound-on-japanese-phones/
apeliott@reddit
That was something the phone networks decided. I don't know of any Japanese law about it.
I did read that South Korea has a law with a set decibel level, and a US state tried to make a law but failed.
apeliott@reddit
Yeah, but this was in Tokyo. Everyone was just keeping their heads down and awkwardly ignoring it.
Constant_Lie_1888@reddit
Was he wearing the French maid costume or her? Enquiring minds and that
apeliott@reddit
The girl was wearing it.
The guy was wearing a dirty vest, grey sweatpants, and had a big yellow flower in his hair for some reason.
Educational_Cow111@reddit
Omg where was this 😂
apeliott@reddit
Akihabara in Tokyo.
LucyLovesApples@reddit
That’s illegal
apeliott@reddit
Tell him, not me.
CobaltBlue389@reddit (OP)
Awkward is more trivial? This is disgusting and criminal.
apeliott@reddit
Yeah, it was pretty fucked up
Puzzled_Caregiver_46@reddit
Christ! You ain't topping that.
idontlikemondays321@reddit
At a family wedding where one of the couple’s parents had recently split up. The father did a speech which ended with ‘welcome to the family, well what’s left of it.’
The room went silent
that2017vibe@reddit
That'd get a cackle from me
idontlikemondays321@reddit
There was some serious cracking on the minibus home
CityOfNorden@reddit
Hahahaha yessssss
SamW1996@reddit
That's the sort of joke you make if it's been several years and you're still somewhat friendly with each other, not while it's still raw.
sparkypants_@reddit
My company has a property near Paris they ship people out to every so often.
We had a trip for our French and UK colleagues to get to know each other and they made us do a haka as part of team building. Just a bunch of pale, weedy Compliance officers embarrassing themselves. I cringed so hard I wanted to turn inside out.
SmokingTheBowl@reddit
I worked in a "UK based big American Fast Food" restaurant. It only happened once, but we had an excruciatingly sickly and enthusiastic Customer service role-play at one team meeting. It was extra cringeworthy as 95% of our customers were from the school leavers college next door, who's subjects seemed to mainly be for "Roadmen" and "Beauty Therapists" based on their apparel. It was a sea of shuffling unidentifiable lads in black hooded puffer jackets, and clumpy mascara'd lasses with identical hairstyles who's only concern was the student freebies being added to their meals. Sometimes there'd be a fight on the dining area.
Miss_Type@reddit
That's reminded me. I worked at a school with a couple of colleagues from NZ. When they came to leave, the Head demanded the guy perform the haka at the staff end of term BBQ. NZ guy kept trying to explain it wasn't the right context, the purpose of the haka etc, but the Head wouldn't listen. So this poor dude performed a one man haka in front of the entire staff. The second hand embarrassment was awful :-(
TheBlueprint666@reddit
Cringed so hard you were wearing your bumhole as a scarf?
spellbookwanda@reddit
Onboarding day at a new job they made us new hires show how many push ups we could do (all sexes, ages, etc). It was awful.
Breadcrumbsandbows@reddit
Was this like...a physical job? Or everyone is in suits just on the floor by the reception desk?
peppermint_aero@reddit
That's horrific.
Affectionate_Crow327@reddit
I used to work at a theme park as a cleaner
One shift, I was walking towards one end of the park with a toilet block and a customer asked me to call security because "A man" was in the cubicle looking over the top at their son (kid of five or six)
So, call security and it takes about ten minutes for them to walk over
In that time, talking to the guy ("what the fuck are you doing?) who's now just sitting in the cubicle next door.
It becomes increasingly apparent that he's a mentally handicapped teenager that has wandered off/been forgotten by his carer and school group.
Not an excuse, but it's certainly more complicated now isn't it?
Security walks over and I just shake my head and let them deal with it, just kind of tongue tied by the sheer weirdness of the event. I don't know what become of the offending party.
Bifanarama@reddit
Observed my wife, in a restaurant, asking the waitress when she was due.
She wasn't pregnant. Had just podged up a little since we'd last been there.
DontMakeMeFightYou@reddit
someone read a poem about how in love with his ex he was at an open mic where both his ex & his new gf were in attendance
WallflowerWhitler@reddit
At a previous employer, we did Secret Santa each year. A lot of the senior leadership team were old friends, all over 65.
One of the leadership guys designated himself as the elf to distribute the gifts out. The day also aligned with Christmas jumper day, and this one particular female colleague had a few bells on hers, and they jingled when she walked. As the guy is handing her her gift, he says in front of everyone, ‘oh they look fun, I better keep my hands to myself’.
Room went silent, he was oblivious to what he just said.
Boring_Object@reddit
When I was working at Microsoft, we had a training for a couple days for thousands of people from different countries. One day me and my group were at lunch break, and there was always a reminder when to come back to our workshop rooms. So me and my friend there had left a couple minutes earlier, but when we came to our workshop room the ladies who were doing the training started saying that we are late, no matter what we told. And they straight up told us that we need to sing this song in front of all the people:
"You are my Microsoft,
My only Microsoft,
You make me happy, when skies are grey,
You never know, Microsoft,
How much I love Microsoft,
Please don't take my Microsoft away."
Of course I was chanting the song like an utter drunk cunt so I guess it was equally embarrassing for the training ladies as well. When I watched Severance a couple years ago, I swear I was thinking that it is too close to the reality. Left 6 years ago, never going to come back hopefully
flyingokapis@reddit
A drunk man telling another man, that a 16-18yr old girl at the holiday resort bar was a 'gobby little shit but I bet she is so dirty in bed''..
He wasn't aware that the man he was telling this too was the girls dad.
GeorgiePorgiePuddin@reddit
Once I was walking into town to meet my friends at the cinema on a Saturday afternoon. Some dickhead outside of a pub stepped in front of me and loudly started telling me to come inside with him and his mates to take shots. I have the look on his face burned into my brain from me matching his energy and loudly telling him I was 14. His mates were pissing themselves, I think about it often.
Jellyoscar@reddit
I hope he punched the disgusting cunt in the face.
flyingokapis@reddit
They stared at eachother almost nose to nose for about 5mins which felt like an hour, then the drunk guy threw the slowest punch I have ever seen which missed, the dad then tackled him to the floor and it had to be broken up by the resort staff.
DanielReddit26@reddit
See, this is why I don't do 4* anymore!
flyingokapis@reddit
This was a 5* hotel in the Caribbean.
OkStyle800@reddit
M’lady
iamtherarariot@reddit
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Budget-Economist-364@reddit
This was like out of a movie; it was that bad. I went to a New Year's Eve party at my ex's parents' house. As it got closer to midnight, everyone had gathered at the end of the garden, ready for the clock to turn and watch some fireworks. Except one person... her dad, who, over the course of the day, drank 4 cans of Monster along with any spirit he could find.
Her mum sent me to fetch him from the upstairs toilet. I knocked a few times and shouted through the door, but no response. I could hear him rummaging around in there, so I knocked again and carried on waiting. Then the door slowly crept open, and I could see a sliver of a man, standing there in his birthday suit, holding a very brown towel. He asked me to fetch some toilet paper from the downstairs toilet, so I did my duty and got him what he needed. After that, I thought, yeah, pretty embarrassing, but whatever and made my way into the garden, where everyone was standing mouth agape, staring at the bloke's bumhole from the bedroom window as he went to put new boxers on.
ChelseaMourning@reddit
Worked for a company that ran shops in gyms around the country. The manager of our most successful store decided to do a tell all to a tabloid about how she only dated/slept with married men. Full photo and name in a national newspaper. There was no way she wouldn’t be recognised. She told all about how she was shagging half the husbands at the gym. We immediately called her into head office and let her go. I don’t know what she was thinking.
iamtherarariot@reddit
Went to a quiz night a long time ago now. A friend had recently experienced a bad breakup (think fiancée going off with an older person who was also a friend of the friend). She was not taking it well and spent the whole group quiz night in the corner on a zoom call with both the ex and new person trying to “understand the situation”. Followed by a complete breakdown in McDonalds after the quiz had ended.
Friend is now in a happy relationship and is doing much better now though. It was just very awkward.
ginafar@reddit
Went to a wedding for my husbands cousin and now wife. The mother of the bride was very into her choir group and sang throughout the wedding reception. She handed out lyrics to one of the songs where she’d changed the words to the bride and grooms name but no one knew how it went. Literally one of the lines was “Sing for Bride’s Name! Sing for Groom’s Name! My husbands side of the family were already a few drinks in at this point, so it didn’t go close to how she’d hoped.
The mother of the bride also did a speech at dinner, where she basically just recounted all the health issues the bride has and that they never thought she’d find a husband, and also that her ex husband was a tight arse
DameKumquat@reddit
Leaving do of a senior colleague, a sweet Chinese woman who had known no English when she came to the UK, but by this point had pretty much mastered it.
Head of department, a total tosser whose idea of managing was to say "do this unethical thing for me or I'll send you back to China and you'll never see your kid again" did a speech. The first couple minutes was OK. Then for some reason he decided to say how nun-like the woman looked,.and be inspired to tell the joke about two nuns having a bath and where's the soap...
I've never seen twenty drunk employees go from cheerfully lairy to WTF? so fast. Woman was a total champ, just did that polite giggle and pretended she hadn't understood. But once out with the rest of us celebrating, she confirmed she'd understood just fine.
TimedDelivery@reddit
A clueless, kind of obnoxious mum just could not read the room when making small talk at a party our kids were attending. Over the course of around an hour she:
-Brought up how terrible she reckons c-sections are and how amazing she was for not having one, against her doctor’s advice, nd how she showed “so much strength” by not taking “the easy way out”. She didn’t stop after 3 of the other mums there mentioned having had c-sections
-Outlined her surgery plans to “fix” her postpartum body and asked the other mums what they planned to get done. Made suggestions based on the “issues” she noticed in other mums bodies.
-She just would not get that two of the mums were a lesbian couple. They referred to “their” children, talked about their recent house purchase, mentioned their upcoming anniversary and were holding hands a lot of the time we were chatting but she still asked what their husbands did, and later in the conversation was confused that they were planning to spend Christmas together.
Crap___bag@reddit
I have 500,000 awkward stories as I am a professionally awkward person. 2 that spring to mind: -was on a Harry Potter bar crawl with my friends. We’d been trying to spot different costumes/the best ones and pointing them out to each other but of course getting progressively more drunk. Walked into a bar, excitedly pointed and shouted ‘Omg there’s a Voldemort’. Nope, just a bald guy enjoying a drink with his friends. Mortified. -I also happen to be a secondary school teacher. When I was relatively new I used to sometimes put whatever was in my hand on the front desk if I was demonstrating something or stopped to explain further. One day I picked up my water bottle and took a sip, only for the kid to say ‘Miss that’s my drink’. The whole class thought it was hilarious and the poor boy stayed back at the end to tell me it was his birthday!
snakeoildriller@reddit
Went to a company Christmas do which was fancy dress: I went as a renaissance character complete with long-nose bird beak mask, peasant breeches and cloak. There was to be a stage show... so got chatting to a woman at the bar about my costume and thought nothing of it. We'd all warmed up nicely with paid-for drinkies and then the stage show started - next thing I'm being called on stage by the chatty woman(!) in front of several hundred people. For reference, I'm a bit shy, not normally an extrovert and couldn't wear my glasses under the mask. The next 15 minutes were the worst as I tried to be part of a sleight-of-hand magic trick, most of which was a blur without glasses. Eventually I got booted off the stage to rousing cheers from my drunk colleagues, and my eternal embarrassment.
FORB_@reddit
On the OP's work related story, I once had a job interview where they made us sing happy birthday to one of the interviewers. It was a group interview with 6 candidates and 2 HR staff chaperoning us. One of the HR people goes 'Oooo it's other HR person's birthday today, let's sing happy birthday'. All the candidates looked at each other like 'are we really going to do this?' until most of us begrudgingly began to sing. I didn't join in personally since it felt like a humiliation ritual (although I did join in on the applause at the end to be respectful)
FinalEdit@reddit
My most awkward moment. Many moons ago decided to shit talk about the band we were supporting in the toilets of the venue we were playing.
Bassist of said band comes storming out and gives me a right bollocking. Made me feel like a right cunt, justifiably.
After the gig I bought the whole band a pint each and apologised for my drunken wanker behaviour.
Few months later that same band saved our entire gig when our axe man broke a string on stage. I still want to curl up thinking about it.
Educational_Cow111@reddit
That’s painful to even read omg
JoeBagadonut@reddit
Was doing an apprenticeship at a major white collar company and myself and my other fellow apprentices would regularly have check-in sessions with our mentor, who was quite a senior figure in the organisation. At one of these sessions, she (the mentor) mentioned that the office Christmas party was coming up and one of the other apprentices said very enthusiastically "Yeah let's do some slut drops!". The worst part was that he was the only person in the room who didn't look like they wanted the floor swallow them whole.
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
[removed]
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Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
A primary school friend's dad handing out pages of lyrics he wrote at a football match, then proceeding to stand and sign it on his own whilst everyone either looked on in bewilderment or laughed, and I just knew I was considered part of their cringey family as they invited me to the game that day.
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