Genuinely hate cyber security teams

Posted by talent_de_tigan@reddit | sysadmin | View on Reddit | 229 comments

After working as a platform engineer for almost half a decade, one thing I developed is a strong hatred for cyber sec teams. I'm not sure if it's just me, but in every place I work they are seen by the business as the guardians of the profit realms while in reality they do fvck all.

Most of the security work is done by us, platform engineers/ Sys Admins. You are expected to build with security at the forefront. You have to think of security on so many levels. You are the guy who manages certs, dns, networking, IAM, firewalls, reverse proxies, load balancing, gateways, while also ensuring your app is not leaking memory, does not have unintended ports open, is hosted on the right platform, you're not exposing creds on VCS, your .env is secure and only the right users have access to it, all while understanding the business logic and making sure the hosted app doesn't get ddosed/ hacked. Also when an incident happens you are generally the one on call, so even under attack we are the ones expected to defend against it.

I genuinely imagine a day in a cyber sec life is them itching their arse, digging for gold in their nose then clicking 'export to pdf' on an automatic SAST scan and then charging you 10k for it. Cyber teams in my experience have honestly just been employing 'block everything by default', then you have to profile your app, use procmon just to find out your app was blocked by some firewall from writing out to logs.

They don't work with you to build something up, instead they just throw a bunch of CVEs at you and expect you to fix them, all while charging you an arm and a leg. If they were to be more integrated in the team rather than being in their own little separate enclosure and sitting on Forbes all day drooling over the latest node js supply chain attack, then maybe, MAYBE things would be more smooth for us.

I think of cyber security the same way as I think of the San Andreas ambulance. On the way to save some granny it ran over 10 people. The amount of extra work they create for us is just crazy.