Tell me your favorite memories of your mother, & I’ll try to share some of mine

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Traditional_Fan_2655@reddit

When my son was born, I was co.oletely overwhelmed with how incredibly much I loved my son. I had nieces and nephews, goddaughters, friends' childrens, and so many children I loved in my life. However, the love I felt for my son was so so much more.

I was explaining to my mom just how incredible the feeling was. She told me, "As much as you love him? That's how much I love you."

I was lucky in my life to always felt loved. However, it was the first time I truly understood how very much I was loved.

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bluealien78@reddit

This is kinda dark, but also beautiful.

My mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s Disease in 2002, at aged 62. She had a rapid decline, and was vegetative about 2 years later. In the meantime, my job relocated me half way around the world. I got to visit a few times a year, but it very much became a “waiting for god” game for the next few years for me and my sisters.

In March 2008, I happened to be back in the UK, and called up one of my sisters and said let’s go visit mum (she had been in an assisted living facility for a few years by now). On the drive there, she warned me that she had seriously deteriorated since I’d last seen her, about 9 months prior. Her body had withdrawn to a fetal position, and she was completely unable to vocalize anything or hold eye contact.

So we walk in to her room, and her condition just immediately pulled me to absolute sobbing. My sister busied herself with fresh flowers and refilling the water cup jug etc. I sat at my mum’s bedside and held her hand and just started talking to her as best as I could through the sobs.

And then she turned her head slightly, locked eyes with mine for about 4 or 5 seconds, and smiled. She hadn’t held eye contact or smiled in years at that point. I cried and told myself to lock this memory in place. I knew exactly how special those few seconds were.

I headed off the airport that evening for my flight back to the US. The next day, my mum stopped eating and taking water. She passed three weeks later.

My sisters and I are convinced that she held on just long enough to see her “baby boy” one last time. She often told me how she so wanted to have a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. She had five daughters, and then I came along. She doted on me and loved me so much.

So to have a few seconds of one more smile and one more look, right before that awful disease took her…man, what a precious gift that was. Amongst many joyful memories from my childhood, that one is my absolute favourite.

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Lafleur_111@reddit

I’m so sorry. Sending you love and support ❤️.
My mother is a pistol. My dad owned a small apartment building in the 1970’s in a neighbourhood settled by Greek and Italian immigrants. We lived in the top floor and there was one other apartment opposite ours on the floor. The family that lived in that unit were Greek immigrants and they had a young son. One night, my mom came home from work, me in tow, and the mother in the other unit was beating her son. It wasn’t a spanking; it was a beating. We could hear her through the door repeatedly hitting him as he was screaming and crying. My mother put me in our apartment and walked over, still in her snow boots btw, to the door of the other apartment and proceeded to put her foot through the door. The woman came out screaming from the shock and my mother put her finger in the woman’s face and said, “you SOB, if you touch that kid again, I’m not calling the cops, I’ll kill you first”. My dad came home and asked what happened to the door so she told him everything. That’s when I knew she was a badass.

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LadyNorbert@reddit

Gentle hugs to you (if you want them) for what you're experiencing right now. I hope her passing will be as painless as it can be.

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freakymack@reddit

Nah my mother was a shit mum. Abusive. Never protected me. Singled me out from the rest of the children. I always saw friends with their mothers and wanted that. However I have an incredible dad!

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azchocolatelover@reddit

I remember helping my mom bake Christmas cookies. She'd bake up 4-6 different cookie batches, and our kitchen table would be covered with cookies cooling, being decorated, etc. Fortunately, she taught me how to bake and cook at an early age. She'd also make Hungarian Walnut Bread as well.

I lost her to cancer when I was 14. While I don't bake up 1/2 dozen varieties of cookies, I have her recipe for the bread, and I make it every year and send a loaf to my older brother and my nephew and his family. If I ever decide to stop making it, they might show up on my doorstep 😆

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Tiny-Balance-341@reddit

Every time we drove off from my grandmother’s house, my grandma would stand outside and wave as we drove away. And then when I became an adult who visited my own mother, my mom would walk me out and stay outside waving until I drove away. When she couldn’t come outside, she watched me through the window as I drove away and, if it was after dark, she would flash the outdoor light.

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DisastrousEngineer63@reddit

I learned this from both parents, they both did it. I find I do it also without giving it any thought.

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Tiny-Balance-341@reddit

It’s just the sweetest!

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Old_Goat_Ninja@reddit

I was already grown, married with kids, etc. and my mom came to visit. Stopped by the store with her to grab some groceries. My brother called and wanted to talk to mom so I handed her my cell phone. Cell phones were small but smart phones weren’t out yet. I handed her my phone, she grabbed it, looked at it, gave a “pbbbbtttt” sound with the most bewildered look on her face and handed it back, she didn’t understand to use it. I wish I could describe it better, but it was pure comedy. I think was a Sony Ericsson or something similar.

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cl0ckw0rkman@reddit

My mother was/is a night owl. As far back as I can remember. Some of my favorite memories are getting to stay up with her and watch old TV shows but my favorite memories are getting to "help" her bake for holiday dinners.

When I was a toddler I'd stay up with her cooking and baking all night. My job was to watch the cheesecake while it cooled. We had a cat, Chico, that loved him some cheesecake. So I got to be on guard duty.

The smell of all the food. The heat from the oven being on for hours. Making a mess and listening to folk music on the record player. Some of the only things I remember from my childhood.

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Chibi-Skyler@reddit

My mother taught me how to be self-reliant. She also taught me how to cook, and while I'm no chef, I have a love of food and cooking thanks to her.

I REALLY wish her final 2 years could've been different. She was in a nursing home, and to this day, I feel as though I fell short by not being able to care for her at home. She was actually the one who made the decision because she knew I couldn't bring myself to do it. She was treated like royalty in there because while her body was failing, her mind was still sharp. She took the time to ask staffers how they were doing, how their families were, and just lent an ear to any of them. Her room became a refuge of sorts. A few weeks after she passed, I ran into one of the CNAs, who told me the place wasn't the same now that she was gone and that they really missed her.

OP, I wish you peace during these days. Be good to yourself.🕊️

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worstpartyever@reddit

I’m sorry you are going through this, it hurts. Sending peaceful thoughts to you and your mom.

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Magali_Lunel@reddit

The times she beat me with a wooden spoon. The times she screamed at me for charging sanitary projects to my family account at the drugstore when I had my period. The time she had a meltdown in a restaurant because she didn’t like what I had ordered, and I refused to change my order to something she would like. The time she screamed at my boyfriend because she was upset about something completely unrelated. All the time she told me to put makeup on because she thought I looked terrible. The time she stole my graduate school money.

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epicenter69@reddit

Single mom. On weekends, she would leave a list of chores for us to complete by the time she got home from work. If we didn’t get it done, I don’t know what would’ve happened. We always finished the list.

She would get 2 weeks of vacation every year. One week, we would go to a sleezy beach hotel. It was always the highlight of our year. Her other week was cashed in around Christmas so we never had an empty spot under the tree.

She was genuinely the best mom she could be.

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Fun-Position7750@reddit

I was raised by a single mom and great aunt in the home. Mom was mom. She drank too much but she did the best she could with my sister and myself. Her love for the outdoors, her laugh. Mine passed 6 years ago during covid from cancer. I went to her Facebook page just to see a pic of her. I miss her so much. I hope she knows it.

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Ray_The_Engineer@reddit

Mom was a mixed bag; she was quirky and could be narcissistic at times. That said, she had a fun, sarcastic sense of humor, was extremely loyal to my dad and to the family, and she did love her children.

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squirtloaf@reddit

I was raised by a single mom (divorced) in conjunction with my grandparents, who would look after me when she couldn't.

At different times in the seventies when I was a little kid, my mom worked the night shift at Oldsmobile and wasn't able to see me much during the week...so she started this routine where I would go to be early and she would wake me up when she got home. We would watch late-night episodes of shows like Banacek (wiki says this was in 1975) or the New Avengers (1976) and eat ham sandwiches, then she would put me back to bed, sometimes carrying me if I fell asleep on the couch.

There was a lot of good stuff in my childhood, but those nights, especially looking back now at almost 60 and with my mom being gone for 30 years (heart attack in her fifties), seem like an idyllic dream.

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Significant-Spite-72@reddit

I'm so sorry. My mum died of cancer 13 years ago and I miss her terribly.

I have thousands of happy memories of her. Our family didn't have much in the way of material things but so much love. I've carried that security throughout my life and tried to give my kids the same.

When I was about 9, we went to see Footloose at the cinema. She loved dancing, of all types.

After the movie she literally danced out of the cinema and down their front steps. It was raining and she was so happy. She held my hand and laughed and danced in the rain.

Love you mum

Keep speaking her name. While she is remembered and loved, she is never completely gone.

My mum's name is Bonny

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zuuzuu@reddit

After the movie she literally danced out of the cinema and down their front steps. It was raining and she was so happy. She held my hand and laughed and danced in the rain.

This is so joyful. There are so many beautiful stories here, but I think this one is my favourite. Bonny sounds really special.

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Significant-Spite-72@reddit

Thank you ❤️ she was a teen mum, so she would've been all of 25 or so

She was so special. She was loving and fierce and clever, though she doubted her own cleverness, sadly. My earliest memory of her is her telling she loves me. The next one is her saying "don't ever, ever let ANYONE tell you that you can't do something because you're a girl. You can do anything you want to"

We pegged those memories as me being between 2 and 3. She was still a teenager.

Actually now I remember it, there's another story attached to that;

When I was a kid I went to a catholic primary school. Not because we were Catholic, but because it was the best school in the area (that she could get me into!)

So, I loved theatre/ performance arts, and we had to go to mass monthly. I was fascinated by it. The drama, the incense, the costumes, the art... (apologies to anyone who takes offence, you're free to scroll on)

Of course, I promptly decided I would be a priest when I grew up.

And i was told no. Because i was a girl. I could be a nun instead.

Dude, no. Nuns did boring stuff. Priest was where it was at.

This then leads to a crisis of faith;

Who is the ultimate authority? Mum or God?

I thought long and hard about it. Probably even prayed on it

Ultimately though, who had always supported me, loved me, fought for me? Who always showed up for me?

Where did my faith belong?

I chose Mum ❤️

She wasn't perfect, not by a long shot. But she taught to have faith in her, and never let that down.

And importantly, she taught me to have faith in me

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TheGreatLabMonkey@reddit

My mother has recently moved into a facility that specializes in Alzheimer's care. She's still able to live independently for the most part, but having help to remember things for her has vastly increased her QOL.

I live in Europe, and have for the last almost 15 years. I visited Mom for the first time since 2019 this past February. It was amazing how far she'd declined. This visit really impressed on her how much help she really needed.

Whilst I was home for my visit, Mom started repeating stories of our childhood. Sometimes because the memories popped up, sometimes because my kid asked during video calls. My kid asked this because I used to tell her stories of Mom telling us stories of what we were like/things that happened when we (sibs and I) were little. I also started doing that with my kid, so Kid was very keen on hearing those stories from the source.

Mom told the stories, with some prompting from me, but then began to deviate from the ones I'd heard my entire life growing up. Quirky stories became much more fleshed out and embellished, little things that didn't add up when I was a kid came out full force and I had to redirect Mom since it wasn't always appropriate for Kid to hear.

But it was amazing for me because it actually gave closure to some things that I noticed or experienced as a child. Like, I wasn't crazy - Aunt Mottie really hated me for who knows what reason and gave my sibs money whilst I received a safety pin. MawMaw really had a preference for my younger sib and called them "my little pootie pot" and I wasn't weird for wanting my own nickname. Uncle Yuppie (uncle Joseph) really was a perv and actually did touch cousins.

Secrets really come out when someone's mental capacity is compromised. Macabre, but also comforting in a weird way.

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bookworthy@reddit

I wish I had a picture of us holding hands. Those hands were never idle. Miss you more than I can say, Mom.

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Independent_Bear_983@reddit

My mum died from cancer over a decade ago. I’ll never forget the last few days just FEELING that overwhelming wave of love for her. I rubbed her favourite hand cream into her hands and moisturised her face (she was sort of half awake) she expressed such gratitude for these small gestures. On the last day we played her favourite cd and she let out a sigh at the end of every song. It was such an intense mixture of gratitude and sadness.

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Old_Association6332@reddit

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My deepest, sincerest and most heartfelt thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family as you go through this. My heart goes out to all of you

My mother was absolutely amazing. It's only later in life that I've truly appreciated how much she gave and sacrificed for me. She has been very much on my mind this week, as Monday was the 19th anniversary of her passing. In fact, the whole week of May is difficult for our family because most of her important milestones are in this month -she was born in May, Mother's Day is this month and she died in May

I was born with a moderate disability, and it was feared that I would be intellectually limited/challenged, and I would have problems with reading and education. From when I was a very young age, my mother -a librarian -made it her mission to teach me how to read and understand basic concepts so that I could function at a normal level. She spent countless hours honing my reading and comprehension skills. I credit her with the fact that I ended up never being intellectually deficient in my reading/writing skills, the fact that I became a voracious reader and lover of highly intellectual works from a very young age and ended up excelling at literature and history at both school and university. I know I wouldn't be anywhere close to the level I am now if not for her consistent coaching and training

She believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. She saw so much more potential in me than I realized I had. She would sit and review almost every essay/assignment I ever wrote, ruthlessly critiquing and making suggestions on how to improve it, no matter how late at night or what inconvenient time of day it was. She would patiently attend to me after all the numerous surgeries as a kid I had, helping to bathe me, doing rehab with me and slowly nursing me back to health. She went out of her way to organize a surprise birthday party for me one year because she felt sorry for me due to the fact that I'd had a long and difficult rehab after major surgery followed by chickenpox. She continued to ferry me to various engagements even while she was undergoing chemotherapy and had to make modifications to her car to shield her from excessive sunlight

She died at the age of 61 from a cancer-like disease that she defied the statistical odds to get. She fought valiantly, she had such a passion and a desire to live and a love for life, but it just wasn't enough. It was so unfair. I miss and love her so much. I'm so glad I had her as a mother

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Optimal-Ad-7074@reddit

my mom went to some theatre when I was really small, to see Dame Margot Fonteyn dance (possibly with Nureyev). very rare for them to go out and us to have babysitters.

next morning I'm sitting on the side of the bathtub to listen to her while she scrubs it with Vim and tells me all about Dame Margot. "Well, she was wearing (blah blah blah) and pink tights, just like yours." I clearly remember piping up all helpfully factual "But not tatty," and the way she stopped and laughed but confirmed solemnly that no, Dame Margot's dance tights were not tatty. I didn't feel the least bit laughed at. I felt taken seriously.

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ciciluca@reddit

i remember my mom putting our clothes in the dryer before we got dressed in the morning. i can’t for the life of me remember when or why bc it wasn’t all the time, but when it really sucked having to crawl outta bed and suddenly there was a pile of clothes warm from the dryer to put on and it made me hurry outta my blanket… i remember that feeling clear as day.

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alwaystenminutes@reddit

I have so many wonderful memories of my lovely mother, I couldn't possibly choose one favourite.

But there is one which might be useful to you - my memory of the last time I held her hand and told her I loved her, in the hospital. She had mittens on, which the nurses had put on her hands to stop her from pulling out her oxygen tube, but I took one of them off so I could hold her hand and I'm so glad I did. The feel of her hand for that last time is a very fond memory.

The other thing is not a memory, but a wish. I wish I had recorded the sound of her voice and the way her face moved when she smiled. The nurses commented to me that they adored my mother because she "smiled even with her eyes" and that was true - she had a genuine smile that spread across her entire face. I wish I had recorded a conversation with her, so I could watch it now.

Good wishes from me to you and your mother, friend.

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calmneil@reddit

Moms are the best. Missed her cooking tho, the food she prepared was divine. She died at 85 yo, in her sleep, before she was diagnosed with dementia, she shared all her secrets with me as the youngest and her primary caregiver. Until now, its been 5 years, i am 56 yo and still processing most if it.

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Due_Cucumber_6956@reddit

I have so many memories that supported my great certainty that my mom was a goddamn rockstar. When I was little, like from birth until I was 7, my mom drove a red 1969 Chevy Camaro. We had many adventures in that car, windows down, stereo up, with my mom singing with whatever rock song of the day was thundering throughout the interior, and her long black hair flowing wildly.

I lost my mom 6/28/2026 after a long head on collision with ibuprofen toxicity resulting in dialysis for the last 6 years of her life. She was tall, built like a Barbie, cussed like a sailor, could drink anyone under the table and still show up for work without complaint. Growing up, I felt like an absolute potato next to her. All of my male friends would hit on her, but everywhere we went that was the case. She had a sharp tongue and quick wit, and 2 days after giving birth to my sister, I watched her beat a grown man to a crying, bloody pulp with the butt of her revolver after he pounded with closed fists on our living room window because he knew she was alone with her 2 young daughters.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. For me, it was incomprehensible process the quick decline of my mother's health because in my head, she was still 28. (She passed at age 73, but you know what I mean) I incorrectly navigated through my existence with the clearly erroneous notion that she was eternal. Like the ground below our feet and the moon in the sky. She just was permanent. Last year I was jolted to the reality that my mom was in fact flesh and bone, and like all of the other stars in the cosmos, one day she was no longer here.

Hug your mom.spend every second possible telling her all the things you love about her. Play her favorite music. Prepare her favorite foods if she can tolerate them. Laugh with her. A lot. And don't forget to care for your mental health as well. Sending hugs and loving thoughts from California 🖤

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zuuzuu@reddit

I think my favourite memory of my mom was when she piled me and seven of my 13 year old friends into her car to take us to see Duran Duran at Maple Leaf Gardens in 1984. It wasn't my first concert, but it was a first for everyone else. They were all too self-conscious to stand up and dance at first, until they looked down to the end of our row and saw my Mom dancing and singing away. And just like that, they were on their feet. That was the night they filmed the video for The Reflex.

After the concert she tried to take us to the stage door but there were so many people there, she hollered at us to run to the car so we could try to follow them to their hotel when they left, lol. The car was blocked in so we missed our chance, but I'll never forget that mad dash with her yelling "Come on! Let's go go go!".

Mom took us all to so many concerts, when we were old enough to go on our own people would come up and ask us where The Mom was. She'd become like a fixture at Toronto concerts, who held onto everyone's purse and jackets. Eventually we turned the tables and started taking her along when it was someone she really liked.

My mom's been gone over twenty years, and I can still hear her laugh.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and the loss you're about to endure. May your memories bring you solace and eventually, joy.

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NOLALaura@reddit

I just have to say this is incredible! What a fantastic woman!!!

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zuuzuu@reddit

Thank you. She gave me more joyful memories than I can count. And her influence led to so many wonderful memories she wasn't even directly involved in.

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NOLALaura@reddit

My mom raised my brother and I alone when my dad died in an accident when I was 6. She worked so hard to teach me to be kind and fair and to read. She is still her loving me 78 years later and we have a kin sense of humor and can talk about deep things. I grieved my entire life for my dad but I finally realized how lucky I’ve been to have her, even without him.

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r7pxrv@reddit

It's 10 years this years since I lost my Mum, I think about her everyday and miss just having a chat with her about day-to-day stuff.

My favourite memories are helping her cook (and her teaching me how to), sharing books we were reading as I got older. After my dad passed away, her coming to stop with us regularly for weeks at a time and her helping (and showing me) how to decorate the house (wallpapering isn't as easy as you think!).

Sage advice about cleaning a stain, or cleaning some random thing with her "special cleaning spray" (basically white vinegar plus an essential oil to hide the smell).

I miss her.

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zuuzuu@reddit

wallpapering isn't as easy as you think!

Oh my god, how were our moms always so good at this? I could manage a semi-decent wallpapering job, but Mom could do it perfectly every time.

Your mom sounds like a lovely and nurturing soul. I'm glad you have so many happy memories of her to look back on.

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myeggsarebig@reddit

My mama had her demons but she was one of the kindest and sweetest. If you needed a meal, a shower, a cup of tea, or a place to live, you were welcomed in my house no matter what your background was. My mom was the first, to the dismay of our bigoted neighbors, to host black and lgbt folks in our home. One of my mom’s most common saying was “mind your business” and she really meant it. My home was for misfits and when she died (may her memory be a blessing) ALL of my friends (along with everyone else she supported over the years), showed up to talk about how she saved their lives and took them in when the rest of the world turned on them. Funny, because she was always being warned that welcoming the strangers would end up causing her harm. Never, not once did any of those weirdo strangers hurt my mama. She was beloved and protected, if anything. Despite admiring mama for her openness, I wanted a quiet home. But, all of my friends, open their homes like mama, and the will tell you, she was their inspiration.

I’m sorry that you’re experiencing the pains and cruelty of cancer. My heart goes out to you and your family. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to talk about mama.

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Apart-Cream-4940@reddit

I'm sorry your mom and you are going through this. 🩷

My mom and I are very close. We do a lot of things together. I remember shopping one time and singing along to Blondie in the car.

Another time we were playing frogger. I couldn't get the white frog to hop on my frog. I got frustrated and called it a cocksucker. I remember seeing out of the corner of my eye her head towards me then turn back. She didn't say anything. I never said it again. I think my dad, who swore like a sailor, heard about it. 😂

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DisastrousEngineer63@reddit

Mom loves the silliness of the movie Airplane and would say "I am serious and don't call me Shirley." It tickled her.

I also remember we were playing Canasta (in the late 80s or so) when she said out loud, "this is a bitchin hand." "Really mom? It's that good?" She says "no, it's the worst hand I've ever had!"

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zuuzuu@reddit

That's adorable. Your mom sounds like a lot of fun.

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DisastrousEngineer63@reddit

She definitely was! She had a great laugh too.

In my mid-20s she let me have a house party and people would ask if Mom would be there. Lots of my friends drove 40+ miles to have drinks with Mom!

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zuuzuu@reddit

That's so cool! It's a great feeling when your friends and your mom get along. In our house, even as adults, it wasn't uncommon for one of our friends to call to ask her advice about something. Relationships, where to shop for a specific gift, you name it, Mom was the go-to.

Some of us got really lucky in the Mom lottery.

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DisastrousEngineer63@reddit

Yes we did!! Many of my closest friends called her Mom. They had their own parents but she was Mom too. And she loved that!

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False-Can-6608@reddit

My mom (Mama, I’m from the south) and I used to have a Friday night tradition of popping popcorn and watching the Golden Girls. I miss her.

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Comedywriter1@reddit

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

My mom had some depression problems when I was growing up and we didn’t always get along. I’m incredibly grateful we were able to bury the hatchet many years ago and we’re now very close.

Mom always had a wonderful, wicked sense of humour. She took me to see When Harry Met Sally when I was in high school (Dad and my brother didn’t want to go) and I remember us laughing through that. She also made these amazing zebra brownies (chocolate and cream cheese).

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deagh@reddit

I've lost a lot of the day to day stuff, since it's been nearly 37 years, but there are a few that stick with.

She raised me alone, because my dad died when I was a baby. She managed a motel and RV park and she'd sit in the office that was attached to the manager's apartment and I'd be in the living room doing my thing. She'd prop the doors open and I had to say in line of sight.

I was 4 or maybe a little younger when this started. I'd look at a book, and would sound out the letters. If I didn't know something I'd yell and ask. She'd yell back asking me to spell it, and she'd tell me the word and I'd keep going and we'd do that the whole time she was trying to work on the account books. She never lost patience with me, and we did that until I was probably 11 or 12 because I just kept getting harder and harder books.

Every time I come across a word I don't know (and it's not all that often because she *really* instilled in me a love of learning and reading) I think about when we used to do that. I miss it.

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zuuzuu@reddit

That's a really beautiful memory to have.

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Still_Praline_6598@reddit

I just lost my mom last week to cancer, so I feel your pain. My favorite memory might be the last time I saw her. Communicating was hard but we had some tender moments where I knew she heard me and she appreciated that I could be there with her. I’m glad I could tell her that I loved her.

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