What do American parents do about their kids ages 1-5?

Assuming 2-parent household, with 2 careers, and if lucky 6 weeks of parental leave for the birthing parent.... If you can afford it as a couple, paying $10-20k per year per kid for daycare/pre-K. Both parents stay employed, feel a financial pinch, but remain marketable for the next 18+ yrs. If you can't, one parent stays home, constantly battling a state of overwhelm & fatigue, and the eventual crash out when the career you had 5-10years ago isn't interested in you anymore because you have a 'gap' in your resume. Strong relationships survive on the shared fantasy of winning the lottery, a dream vacation that probably won't happen, or the next big career goal of the working partner. Less resilient relationships fracture when resentment over the share of mental and physical labor of managing childbearing and households feels unbalanced. If both parents were part of a church/religious organization before marriage/childbirth, they may get some relief with discounted childcare costs with the in-congregation daycare facility, but spaces are limited, and some won't take infants. Source: talking with an acquaintance over a decade ago who was weighing pros and cons of quitting their job post-birth once they found out they were pregnant with baby #2 because kid #1 was affordable thru church daycare ($300/week, medium-low cost of living suburbs), but they didn't take infants, and the other facilities they were looking at that DID accept infants were in the neighborhood of $500/week for first kid and second kid was "discounted" to $300/week. Or, if you never married your partner, one parent works. The other doesn't, and may be eligible for state/federal allowances for food, housing, medical coverage, etc, for the "custodial" parent and offspring. This social safety net is usually vilified by the same party that make up the majority of its recipients.