Pilots that have married physicians
Posted by nolface@reddit | flying | View on Reddit | 183 comments
What has your experience been like? My girlfriend is starting her 4th year of med school and I am currently building my hours to reach RATP mins.
Just curious what others in this position have experienced!
Flying21811@reddit
We make it work just fine. She’s a shift worker so we line our schedules up nicely. She also hates me so it’s even better as she doesn’t miss me when I’m gone 🤣 kidding
SMELLYJELLY72@reddit
my god, your joint bank account will rival small countries gdp’s by the time you retire
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
My wife and I pay over $30,000 just in income tax every month
chupchupandaway@reddit
Cool, thanks! Vote to put that money into use so I can afford healthcare! Was your comment supposed to garner pity for the rich?
RaidenMonster@reddit
How about you go make your own money and stopping leaching off the productive members of society?
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
No! Tax anyone who has more money than him and make sure it directly benefits him!
/s
chupchupandaway@reddit
I pay taxes too and make good money, so that’s a funny and total rich prick attitude to have. It doesn’t change the fact that as a 1st world nation with billions of expendable money to waste on pointless wars we should be providing healthcare to our population. I’m just pointing out how petty it is for you to be complaining about paying taxes when you’re clearly well above the middle class. You pay in taxes what a lot of people make in a year and many of them likely work much harder than you.
I make a more than healthy 6 figure salary and still consider insurance to be an overpriced scam and see it as necessary that we vote to provide healthcare to our population. We are a 1st world country with plenty of money to do so but idiots vote idiots into office that profit off the hardships of the majority. Your attitude seems to put you right in that category.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
You can always move somewhere else. We won't miss you!
chupchupandaway@reddit
lol typical. No thanks, I’ll continue putting up with selfish idiots until we can make this place better for everyone. And I won’t ask fellow Americans to leave the country because of our differences in opinions. Fascist ass mentality…
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
You're the one complaining and name calling. Must suck to be so bitter about what other people have earned because they were more driven than you.
chupchupandaway@reddit
You have no idea what I’ve earned. I’m bitter about you complaining because you have to pay taxes relative to your income.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
I never once complained about anything. I stated a fact.
You're projecting.
chupchupandaway@reddit
Oh okay. In context you presented it as if it were a negative aspect of your income so that’s how I understood it.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
It was a statement of fact. However you chose to perceive it is inside your head.
It must be difficult to look at the world through a negative lense, feeling like you're owed something by people who worked harder than you.
chupchupandaway@reddit
lol you keep saying worked harder than me just because you make more money. It’s a very arrogant mindset. You should work on that.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
Did you go to medical school? Do you know how much work it takes to become a surgeon? Because it doesn't sound like you put that level of ambition in your career if you're over here complaining about someone else's life choices.
chupchupandaway@reddit
No, I started a business in the film industry that on average brings in about 200k/year and worked countless overnights and 15-20hr days over the last 10 years. Survived multiple strikes and periods of economic downfall during that time. And now am working on pilot certifications to make a career change, considering the Air National Guard to pursue it further. It doesn’t take going to med school to prove oneself a hard worker. Get over yourself.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
No one cares, dude.
chupchupandaway@reddit
Cool. Enjoy your life. Vote against MAGA, have a nice day!
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
My guy is still going!!! Absolutely hilarious.
chupchupandaway@reddit
Both of us are stubborn assholes who have to get the last word so at least we have that in common.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
He's still going!
chupchupandaway@reddit
Ironic.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
I'm going to vote MAGA even harder after this interaction.
chupchupandaway@reddit
You and the meager 30%
chupchupandaway@reddit
But boohoo you have to pay taxes!
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
I mean he's being an idiot but calling yourself "middle class" if you're dropping 30k in taxes might be a bit of a stretch
chupchupandaway@reddit
How is it idiotic to tell the rich to vote in ways that benefit the general population and put our tax money into better things than war and billionaire pockets?
cheeseburgerandrice@reddit
Surely you're not talking about yourself?
mylies43@reddit
Bro you ain’t middle class if you make enough to pay 30k in taxes hahaha. Even if we’re being generous saying 50% tax rate you gonna say 30k a month of income is middle???
f1racer328@reddit
High earning W-2 employees generally get fucked the most. Paying a ton in taxes with almost zero write offs like a business owner can have. Or billionaires who pay basically nothing in taxes because the wealth is in stocks.
Or how Trump paid $750 in federal income taxes in 2016 and 2017. Yep, that’s a real thing that happened.
Or how he didn’t pay anything in the previous years, just claiming losses.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
There's no winning with those types of people. "You make a lot of money and pay your fare share of taxes! Fuck you!"
Hmm, ok buddy.
chupchupandaway@reddit
Okay? That household income is still roughly 1million per year or more to be paying 30k a month in taxes. Sure feel bad for the guy.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
I couldn't care less what you think of me or what your definition of rich is.
O_PLUTO_O@reddit
I make 41K a year 😭
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
Well you could always go to medical school and become a doctor, take on $400,000 in loans, and work for years to pay that off and make it into the top earning bracket.
Scottzilla90@reddit
Time to check out the investor friendly CPA on YT!
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
Lol I don't need financial advice from Youtube
Avia_NZ@reddit
So? Conveniently missing out how much you make compared to your taxes
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
Most people can extrapolate that number based on income tax pretty easily.
NoRun4755@reddit
Let me guess California?
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
Indiana
Davey-Can-fly@reddit
Yeah well I just bought a car for $850 as a jump pilot.
Check mate
NoRun4755@reddit
Lolololllllll
Valid__Salad@reddit
Can you all mow your yard with this “car”
Wasatcher@reddit
Well I just dumped 4k into a 18 year old car to keep it on the road. 100k miles of nothing but oil changes, air filters, and a timing belt finally caught up to me 😂
7nightstilldawn@reddit
Let me guess, is it a Ford Clitorus?
Druken_sincerity@reddit
Fucking Mr money bags here.
TheOriginalTL@reddit
Must be nice lol
ItzMattOnTheTrack@reddit
Bro that’s more than I make in a year 💀
Redfish680@reddit
Oh stop, ffs…
Yuri909@reddit
🥹
mooseup@reddit
JTFC.
latedescent@reddit
Only rivaled by both spouses being pilots! (Depending on the physician specialty I suppose)
PM_ME_RHYMES@reddit
It varies wildly by location and specialty, an ambitous family med doc can get around $300,000, and that's a low-to-average paying specialty (pediatrics is the lowest, neurosurgery is the highest at around $750,000).
Jorfogit@reddit
Specialty surgeons, even in bumfuck nowhere, can pull a lot more than $750k.
7nightstilldawn@reddit
😂That’s funny. The reality is they will more than likely have HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS in student loan debt and will have a similar quality of life to someone making $70k with zero debt for the first 20years. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Just…..reality.
Flimsy-Ad-858@reddit
What
G_Platypus@reddit
These two will be able to pay back 200,000 in debt in like 3 years easily.
Gwaiwar@reddit
Personally I would rather have our close relationship back than the 7 houses, 5 cars and all the stuff
meticulouslycarless@reddit
Lol for reals
chili_dippin_it@reddit
Wife is a surgeon and I'm involved in all things aviation. Residency was rough but we made it through and now things are much more manageable with our schedules. I think we find common ground in that mistakes on either of our ends can result in death - only difference being her patient could lose their life and I could lose mine.
External-Creme-6226@reddit
Major airline widebody FO, wife is an attending physician at a family medicine residency program in Ohio. When we met, I was 1st year at my second regional, on food stamps, making $18,000/yr and she was an intern just graduated med school, working 80-100 hours a week.
We made it work, who knows how….
Almost 20 years later, 3 kids, and a big house that seems to always need a repair…we still make it work. No matter how much you make, you’ll always find something to spend it on.
LaddieNowAddie@reddit
I think that's the biggest thing about adulting that took me a while to realize. You're always going to be in some kind of debt regardless of your income. It's how the system is set up.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
That's where you're totally wrong. Debt isn't necessarily a bad thing. Paying cash for a house may not make as much sense as taking out a mortgage and investing that money instead.
LaddieNowAddie@reddit
That's literally the same comment I made hours ago...
Bot_Marvin@reddit
Not really, just have to have financial self control. Zeroed out my debt by the time I upgraded at my regional. Hasn’t changed much since.
Financial security >>> material excess. I like knowing that a furlough letter wouldn’t change my lifestyle in the slightest.
LaddieNowAddie@reddit
Of course. But some things don't make sense paying off in full. Buying a house during 2021 with a 3% interest made no sense paying off in full. You could invest that money and make more on it than paying that money up front.
External-Creme-6226@reddit
My first year as a regional FO take home after taxes was like $16,000. I just spent that much last week to add 2 French drains to help a soggy spot in my yard, and fix about a 10x20ft section of stucco on the front of the house that has some water getting under it.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Sounds like the dream! Love to hear it.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
I'm a legacy airline captain and my wife is a vascular surgeon. What exactly do you want to know?
She works a lot and makes a lot of money. I don't work as much and also make a lot of money.
Mysterious_Set_8558@reddit
I work with vascular surgeons. Do you even remember your wife's name lol. They are always at the hospital and always on call. Kudos to them.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
She works in a pretty good program. Usually home by 5pm.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Mostly curious about raising a family and how you work around each others schedules.
We’re both in an awkward spot where she needs to go to a good residency program and I need to get to a regional (or some sort of compensated flying lol).
Been doing long distance for a bit now and just trying to plan how to navigate our lives together.
DefiantSmoke1569@reddit
Sounds like you want /r/relationship
carsgobeepbeep@reddit
No two ways about it: kids are going to be tough.
The good news is that if you wait until post-residency / post-regional life to have them, you can DEFINITELY afford a live-in nanny or au pair to raise them for you. /s, but not really...
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
We don't have kids and never wanted them. It would be pretty tough.
___buttrdish@reddit
goals.
Gabriel_Owners@reddit
Our combined monthly income tax is over $30,000.
mnjets2099@reddit
My wife just graduated med school! I’m sure in 3 weeks when she starts residency it’ll suck for a while but we’ll get through it
nolface@reddit (OP)
Congrats to her! That’s awesome. Have yall been able to live together through school and now her residency? I’m in mn too🤠
mnjets2099@reddit
Yes, just had to understand when she needed to hunker down and study to let her do her thing. Then take her out for a nice date after exams :)
Flyingthrowaway77@reddit
FedEx pilot married to an orthopedic surgeon. It's tough. Money is not an issue but a lot of other things are.
Depending on her speciality, your career will come
Second to hers. Sounds easy but be prepared to commute. It will help if you chase seniority rather than a quick upgrade. Your schedule will have more flexibility than hers. Most surgeons can't just call out sick or fatigued to get out of work.
Kids complicate things but don't make anything impossible. Income levels help as you can afford a nanny. Your wife will bear the majority of childcare while you are away (even with a nanny unless they are full-time/live in). Think morning routine, evening routine, nighttime wakings. So when you get back from a trip you will need to pivot from working to full time stay at home dad.
At the end of the day it's a lot of work. A lot of guys I fly with ask what I'm still doing working. I don't have any interest in being a stay at home dad full time and I have my own career aspirations.
Lmk if you have any specific questions. For context I am 10 years at FedEx and my wife is 8 years out of fellowship. 1 kid.
nolface@reddit (OP)
man the two of you must have crazy schedules! how long have the two of you been together and at what point in your careers did you meet?
Flyingthrowaway77@reddit
When we met she had just over a year left in her residency. I was an RJ captain looking to move up. That was 10 years ago
nolface@reddit (OP)
Would more kids have been feasible?
Flyingthrowaway77@reddit
That's where we kind of are now. We waited until we were both well established in our careers to have kids. She was an attending and I was a few years in at FX. The problem with that is we are now older. Late thirties and early forties. The alternative is starting earlier, but having kids during residency is tough and I don't know how people manage it. My wife took off the last month of her pregnancy and the first 3 off after our child was born. Taking off 4 months in residency or fellowship isn't really an option. Then when she became an attending, she was spooling up her practice, working on partnership, and trying to enjoy the life she had worked so hard for. Then you add in your career, moving from right to left seat, switching airlines, going through long term training, etc, it's hard in rising kids when there is no designated parent to stay home full time.
If you want to have a bigger family, you'll need to prioritize that from early on. It's still on the table for us but every day we get older, and biologically it's more difficult.
Unfair-Bison-3946@reddit
Married to an ER Doc, she was just starting residency when we met. It can be a challenge when they're going through school and again when you're looking for your first real flying job.
nolface@reddit (OP)
That’s kinda where we are at the moment, trying to navigate getting into a good residency program and me a real flying job lol
CMHCommenter@reddit
Not married to a physician, but have a number of close friends/their spouses who are and are through residency.
While flying a good flying job is hard, getting into residency/the right attending job is more restrictive. You’re going to be the one who compromises (I.e. commutes if you can’t get them both to line up). That’s ok, just know what you’re signing up for.
Shinsf@reddit
I feel you with the ED doc. I can't tell my wife no when she wants to travel
SavingsPirate4495@reddit
I would have to say the VAST majority of pilots I know...VAST majority...are married to either Nurses or School Teachers. Seems to be a common thread there...
😆😆😆
DramaticRecipe5763@reddit
And there is a reason nurses are known for getting around. The firefighters and cops wreak havoc at hospitals.
SavingsPirate4495@reddit
Yeah…I have ZERO chance competing with them! 😝😝
flythearc@reddit
Well, nurse and doctors are a lil bit different
SavingsPirate4495@reddit
Sure. Sure.
The point being, which I failed to make, is that I haven't run across too many pilots that are married to doctors/MD's. There may be one and that's going off of very foggy memory. 😝
Pinecone1000@reddit
Nurses have compassion. Pilots and Doctors are both Alphas. My take from the 25 years of cockpit unlicensed therapy sessions I’ve attended.
Icy_Huckleberry_8049@reddit
It's no different than any other married life.
Two people working - sometimes you're both off at the same time, sometimes you're not.
hew3@reddit
Play the long game. In 5 years, she’s buying you a C206.
Simplorian@reddit
I think divorce is in your future.
Historical-File-4535@reddit
Major airline pilot. Wife is an ICU nurse. She works in days I don’t. I think I saw some Morse code one night telling me she loves me as we passed
MiniTab@reddit
My wife’s an ED nurse, but she works PRN. Much better flexibility with my schedule, and my medical insurance/benefits are better than hers anyway.
Our schedules mesh pretty well. Much better than if she was doing a traditional 8-5 job.
If your wife has to do full time 12 hour shifts though, yeah that can be rough.
Valid__Salad@reddit
My wife is an oncology nurse working four 10s, M-F with any random weekday off. Sometimes it lines up nicely for us but as a 2nd year FO, I’m often gone on weekends and home while she’s working. She’ll go PRN eventually but kinda in the doldrums for now.
Historical-File-4535@reddit
Yeah. 3 12’s generally. But she works on my days off, mostly for child care.
It was awesome prior to kids when we’d work the same days. Then have 5 days off together.
It’ll get better eventually for sure.
MiniTab@reddit
Ah! Yeah that totally makes sense with kids in the mix. Indeed, a nurse/pilot marriage is about as easy as it gets!
Moshjath@reddit
Not a professional pilot, just for fun. I’m a field grade Active Duty Army officer.
My wife is an Emergency Med attending. We met when we were Cadets, and got married after the Academy. She went to medical school after she finished her five year commitment, I stayed in.
The hardest part for us was dealing with deployments while she was in Residency, but overall for her it was probably an equal amount of work/stress to when she was a Platoon Leader and XO.
Life is good now, we payed off her remaining med school loans as her residency ended. We live a very comfortable DINK life now and make a good bit more than we spend while living in a VHCOL area. I work more than she does at this point, and am looking forward to a second career in a few years.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your service! You guys sound like a power couple especially being able to make it though all that!
zporter92@reddit
No kids? Will probably not be too bad. You’ll be able to retire very early lol
With kids and have frequent childcare available? Not too bad, but somebody is going to have to watch the kids more often and their “off” days aren’t really off days. This is my situation and I do what I can to give her a true break when I’m home/call out when she asks, but it’s still hard. Residency was pretty hard even with her being chief, and making her schedule. Their specialty will play a big part. Some are more stressful than others.
With kids and no childcare/nanny will be tough
nolface@reddit (OP)
Luckily no kids yet I couldn’t imagine having those in the mix, sounds like you have it figured out though!
Perfect_Big_5907@reddit
I am married to a doctor but i am retired now. You will be the poster children for DINK's
Jmann356@reddit
I’m a mainline FO and my wife is a family med doc. We are 100% a DINK poster child
ronerychiver@reddit
Can always upgrade to DINKWAD. Dual income, no kids, with a doodle
Jmann356@reddit
We are cat people
russellvt@reddit
DICKS?
^(Dual Income Cat Kitchen Staff)
Jmann356@reddit
Love it
OrganicParamedic6606@reddit
DILDO
Dual income little dog owner
CoomassieBlue@reddit
Not to be confused with DILDO (dual income, *large* dog owner)
f1racer328@reddit
Definitely using this one. I love saying DINKWAD to the guys I fly with, so DILDO will be even better.
ohfuckmyaldiquarter@reddit
I wanna be like you when I grow up
Jmann356@reddit
I’m not ever sure I’m grown up half the time
Perfect_Big_5907@reddit
that is the way to work it !
meticulouslycarless@reddit
What is DINK?
HoldinTheBag@reddit
Dual income no kids.
Basically, young couples who spend all their time being happy and sleeping on a pile of money
MiniTab@reddit
Some of us are even middle aged DINKs!
ThatLooksRight@reddit
Don’t forget diving into the pool full of gold like Scrooge McDuck.
prex10@reddit
You ever watch the show Doug growing up? Mr Dink always had all the cool stuff that was "very expensive"
Perfect_Big_5907@reddit
Old term. double income no kids. by the time she maybe gets a specialty and you hit the majors you can plan on lining the litter box with 100 dollar bills.
Double-Reflection838@reddit
Dual Income No Kids
TangoMyCharlie@reddit
Dual Income No Kids
JonEG123@reddit
I can’t speak to your occupations specifically, but you’re both in a potentially tough transition period. When I went back to school, my bf was on board and understood there were times when he came second or third behind work and school.
It was a frantic couple years, and yours will be even more since you’re both building time. Stay honest and focus on the prize. Stay open to whatever changes are coming short-term because they may only be temporary.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your words I couldn’t agree more!
Mysterious_Set_8558@reddit
My wife is a 2nd year pediatric resident ,and I am an interventional radiology tech, working on instrument now with hope that one day sitting in the cockpit. We have 2 under 2 as well. Sometimes, I question myself should I continue my current job and work as an instructor on weekends. Hopefully, once she starts attending role, time restrain will chnage! Definitely a challenge.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Holy shit! That sounds insane! Keep grinding that’s awesome.
T0gaLOCK@reddit
Good thing is that you will be set... Bad thing is your schedules will suck.
That being said, hopefully they can suck together until you have kids or pets. Being able to pick your trips as an airline pilot and her being in the shitter schedules in the beginning will mean you both work weekends and nights together
nolface@reddit (OP)
Yeah sounds like we’ll have to power through like 10 years of shit lol
Gwaiwar@reddit
I’ve not been in that exact situation but if you both have careers that have you working odd hours then possibly not being home every day, and neither one of you is on a 9 to 5 schedule you’re gonna find that your schedules which are very unlikely to lineup perfectly are going to make it so that you may not see each other very often. It’s bad enough as it is the even when your other half is working a set schedule being a pilot frequently causes AIDS. Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome
nolface@reddit (OP)
I will do my best not to get AIDS😟😂
Movinmeat@reddit
Matters what specialty she pursues. You won’t see her much at all during residency in any case. If she goes into an “office” specialty (Family practice, derm, etc) it’ll be like most any other job, maybe a little longer hours. If she does a “shift” job (ER, ICU, Hospital medicine) it’s a mixed bag. Probably works fewer total hours but nights an weekends are no fun. Lots of flexibility for travel, etc. if she’s going into a surgical specialty—those are notoriously difficult on any relationship. As a pilot, it’s not impossible, but it will be hard. Source: Am ER doc.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your insight! She is going into IM so I’m hoping the week on week off schedule works in our favor!
__wampa__stompa@reddit
Dude you're gonna be married to a doctor? Nice.
N40189@reddit
You guys will have a nice airplane
N40189@reddit
Hope she will go into dermatology cash business and easy hours. Surgery forget it just keep her happy… then you can say remember when I helped you through residency? I’d like a Beech 18 please
OtterVA@reddit
Both you and her are at a good spot. Be prepared to move with her to residency and build hours there. Once residency is over she can move to where you need to be to live in base at an airline. If that’s the path you take.
As things get serious you need to decide whose career will be the priority. I know a few of us married to doctors. Most of us are 121 but one is 135. Things go much easier if you can follow the doctor around and commute as a pilot in med school and residency. There are a lot of challenges to navigate in residency and it’s better for your relationship if you’re there to help her out. Particularly Intern year, and when she becomes Chief Resident.
Dynamic after will depend on the specialty she matches in. A busy/high earning specialty might mean you stay a WB FO at a legacy. Derm might mean shes home a lot and you can upgrade work to your hearts content and stil see her plenty.
If you’re both workaholics your relationship will eventually burn out. Someone needs to have some chill. Often times the Pilot is the one with the ability to have chill in their schedule, even at the expense of extra $$$.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Thank you for this!
Roger_Freedman_Phys@reddit
You should be excited for her success, and support her in every way possible. I trust that you do and will continue to do so.
Flaky_Summer_9800@reddit
You’re gonna have so much money you won’t know what to even do with it.
Aphrodisiatic922@reddit
If they have kids it will be for a nanny
7nightstilldawn@reddit
Worst experience of my life, and it’s not over. But not everyone is the same. That’s for sure.
My ex is a terrible and fucked up person that happens to also be a Dr. Only a few more years of co-parenting until I can block her from nearly every aspect of my existence and return to finding peace and purpose in my life. (There is no amount of personal therapy I can do myself that will change her).
Thanks for the personal question asshole 😂.
ltcterry@reddit
When my youngest turned 18 I thought “I never have to see the witch again.”
My youngest is 32. The witch screws up every Thanksgiving and Christmas schedule. And every grandchild’s birthday, baptism, etc.
We just try to do the best we can. But the narcissistic POS can’t commit to a schedule or be on time for anything.
7nightstilldawn@reddit
Yep. I’ve always thought if my ex could commit to being fair as well as she has committed to fucking me over every chance she gets, we’d all be alright. But that’s just crazy talk. I’ve whittled my life down to just protecting our child the best I can, to the absolute and obvious detriment to my mental, financial, and now physical health.
I’ve been a pilot for over 25yrs and I know damn well extreme narcissism is prevent in both pilot and doctor personality types. I know a few Dr’s and pilots who are great people. Awesome people. But the absolute biggest pieces of shit I have ever met were Dr’s, nurses, and pilots as well.
My advice to OP is: Drop any titles from your self identity and look her clearly and yourself clearly. If you can love and respect one another when you are nothing and have nothing, then that is love. If you ever find yourself hanging onto a situation that’s turned into a nightmare because you want the respected and envy of your peers, all is lost.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Lmaoo I apologize for bringing it up😂
Looking back do you think there were signs that you over looked or did she change as a person?
7nightstilldawn@reddit
Absolutely signs at first, but I mistook them for ‘passion’. Turns out it was the typical idealization then devaluation cycle people like her do to anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in their web. She would scream and yell and threaten me, then blame it on her lack of sleep and demanding ER Dr. job. Two weeks into dating she woke me up in the middle of the night by physically attacking me. I mean that’s all in the first 2 weeks! 😂 Since then there have been THOUSANDS more incidents and she’s done her best to ruin my life, for no damn reason. Including again today actually! I’ve known her for 16yrs. We’ve been separated for 14 of those. There will not be peace until I die.
If your girl is sweet, caring, thoughtful, unselfish, loving, understanding, and patient, then the world is your oyster. But if she treats you like a piece of shit and then buys you stuff you don’t want or need as a way of apologizing all while actually being really good in bed: RUN!!
Turbulent-Bus3392@reddit
My wife sold her practice and retired to be with our daughter when I went to the airlines. Both careers will have you away from home a lot unless you can find a great corporate gig that gets you home most days.
iguanayou@reddit
This is a strangely specific question.
Swimming_Way_7372@reddit
Seems a lot like a humble brag to me.
OtterVA@reddit
Both you and her are at a good spot. Be prepared to move with her to residency and build hours there. Once residency is over she can move to where you need to be to live in base at an airline. If that’s the path you take.
As things get serious you need to decide whose career will be the priority. I know a few of us married to doctors. Most of us are 121 but one is 135. Things go much easier if you can follow the doctor around and commute as a pilot in med school and residency. There are a lot of challenges to navigate in residency and it’s better for your relationship if you’re there to help her out. Particularly Intern year, and when she becomes Chief Resident.
Dynamic after will depend on the specialty she matches in. A busy/high earning specialty might mean you stay a WB FO at a legacy. Derm might mean shes home a lot and you can upgrade work to your hearts content and stil see her plenty.
If you’re both workaholics your relationship will eventually burn out. Someone needs to have some chill. Often times the Pilot is the one with the ability to have chill in their schedule, even at the expense of extra $$$.
AnActualSquirrel@reddit
Just don't buy a Bonanza and she'll be fine
lti4all@reddit
and don’t get prison nickname “Bonanza”
Swimming-Ad2568@reddit
A close friend of mine/coworker is an airline pilot (retired Air Force) and his wife is a doctor. They’re both always gone and have a live in nanny raising their kids and have employed people to keep the house maintained. Not the worst thing in the world, but something to consider. When they’re both home they’re tired from their jobs due to long hours. They’re great people but as a friend I am concerned for their kids in terms of having connection with their parents.
Perfect_Big_5907@reddit
Yes this exactly. With being a pilot and married to a doctor don't plan on having the dream family if you decide to have kids. Someone else will definitely be raising them.
nolface@reddit (OP)
That is what I’m looking to avoid!
Swimming-Ad2568@reddit
Yall can absolutely avoid it based on the particular jobs you choose, especially you since she won’t have much of a choice once she’s matched with her specialty. You’ll get to a point in aviation where you’ll get to choose money or QOL and time at home.
If you’re wanting to avoid being a non-present parent, you’ll need to choose to make slightly less money with a less demanding flying job.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Being able to make too much money sounds like a dream with where I’m at now lol but yes I do agree with you.
rotardy@reddit
Whatever you do don’t get fired by her. The makings of a beautiful life together.
TheBigBavarian@reddit
Relocate to Australia, join the flying doctor service. Win-Win-Win
hobbycollector@reddit
Perfect relationship. You'll never see each other so you'll never have to divorce like most people in either job eventually do.
space_rhinos@reddit
All time together will be valued. This guys right^
Swimming_Way_7372@reddit
What will you do when you get to rATP minimums ?
Shinsf@reddit
My wife is an ED attending. We met during her intern year as a resident during covid. I hope you like talking about your job because when you're the only person in the room who isn't a doctor you become the most interesting person.
With that know a couple things. Residency is hell, not just for her but also you.
Do you know what specialty she is looking at
nolface@reddit (OP)
I can’t imagine myself being the most interesting person in any room lmao. Looking to play the long game so I am prepared for a few more years of hell. She’s going into IM.
Intelligent-Boot-378@reddit
I've been married to a PA and DNP and divorced twice. I'm not even in the airlines.
ohfuckmyaldiquarter@reddit
Man stay away from the mid-level healthcare professionals
Intelligent-Boot-378@reddit
The next one is for sure the one.
surgeon_michael@reddit
I’m a physician that dabbled in pilotage and have a good friend who’s a 777 captain so I can kinda speak to it. What’s she going into? Your trajectories will be similar, lots of debt, low initial pay then great 40-50-60s. Avoid divorce you’re in two high fields
For that. Get your pension and retire early and she can support on the back end. Seems like a good life
nolface@reddit (OP)
You seem to be spot on.
She’s going into IM. She’s already been offered an attending contract as a MS4 and they said name your price so I’m assuming she’ll do well in her specialty.
Zealousideal_Ad_821@reddit
That’s a lot of boats
crank_bank@reddit
The ol' lady is a primary care PA. She's not quite making doctor money but it's plenty enough that we haven't ever felt like I need to go to a major carrier to maximize income. I've done fun and rewarding jobs for the last 4 years that allow me to be home every night and I'm still doing quite decently myself.
nolface@reddit (OP)
Thats what I’m looking for, a fun and rewarding job where I can be home more often than not!
If we’re both making a decent living I’m not worried about maximizing our incomes I’d much rather enjoy life.
Actual_Environment_7@reddit
I don’t know whether my doctor is married or single.
Wr3ckless13@reddit
Prenup
l8nightbusdrivr@reddit
Was married to a pharmacist. No matter what she does for a living, she needs to be able to cope with the stresses of life on her own, not just now but also when you have a child…if not:
Kanye offers the best advice here….
“If you ain't no punk
Holler, "We want prenup, we want prenup, yeah"
It's somethin' that you need to have
'Cause when she leave yo' ass, she gon' leave with half.”
Double-Reflection838@reddit
I mean experienced as far as what? What marriage is like? What having a joint checking account is like? What raising a family is like? That's pretty vague dude. Or are you just showing off a little bit?
rFlyingTower@reddit
This is a copy of the original post body for posterity:
What has your experience been like? My girlfriend is starting her 4th year of med school and I am currently building my hours to reach RATP mins.
Just curious what others in this position have experienced!
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