ULPT how to escape the country while on the run without any fake credential

Posted by Huge_Athlete7488@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 79 comments

Just watched roofman (great movie btw) and realized I’d be fucked if I got caught for any (potential) crime I did, I don’t have a friend who can just forge me papers to get out the country.. so.. how would I do it? What would be the best course of action to be taken? I ask this question just for fun but, just in case I need this, I mean you never know…

Also after reading the rules, this post doesn’t break any of them! Cuz it might benefit me… or you… just in case…

Anyway, I’m from the United States of America, specifically California, I know the basics, don’t contact anyone, use cash, ditch things that can track you, stay in college towns because it’s always busy.

This would be my plan. My plan would be to walk, hitchhike, or maybe even bike all the way to the Mexican border, go across Mexico, go into Guatemala, get a coyote (this is all assuming you have cash saved, this is likely to be expensive) and try and go to either Panama or Ecuador, i heard Panama is pretty easy to bribe any officials, and Ecuador generally has no extradition treaty with the USA.

I could just work in Mexico or Guatemala with labor, but the pay would be horrible (if it’s not in a tourist area), also I’d need an id in case of a checkpoint, so idk about that either, I could always contact a coyote of forger (likely cheaper than an American one) but that risks getting involved with the cartel, and I think we all know why no one would want that

Sooo, what should someone do?

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peacefinder@reddit

Dare an ICE agent to send you back to Equador

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Deadman1966@reddit

Don't watch the movie, read Papillon. Steal a boat and sail to South America. Find an indigenous tribe that subsists by harvesting oysters for pearls and dinner. Bring along tatto gun and ink and trade the village chief tattoos for two of his daughters. The daughters will keep you well supplied with oysters and companionship. Don't fall into Papillon's trap and get bored and miss society.

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GroundbreakingTap24@reddit

Terrific book and movie!

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JohnQPubl@reddit

Papillon! Was such an eye opening read as a 7th grader 😅

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brokesciencenerd@reddit

Canadian border is pretty wide open. Walk to Alaska and take up with the others that are hiding out there. Get a job on a fishing boat or something. International waters are safe.

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going-for-gusto@reddit

What about coast guard boardings, do they grab you if your wanted?

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pineapplepokesback@reddit

I didn't realize they had jurisdiction in international waters.

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Aggressive_Deal8335@reddit

USCG conducts enforcement operations in international waters quite frequently.

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zamfire@reddit

Walk to Alaska

Sure Alaska can't be that far from Washington state can it?

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cascadia30@reddit

If Sarah Palin can see Russia from her house in Alaska, you should have no problems walking there from Washington State. Russia is like, so much farther away! /s

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brokesciencenerd@reddit

Easier than walking across an ocean. I knew a holocaust survivor that escaped a concentration camp and walked from Poland to Israel. How bad are you trying to get away?

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crazyhorse90210@reddit

If you walk to Alaska congrats you just made it to Canada before you get to Alaska!

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Guilty_Objective4602@reddit

Thanks, I was thinking the Canadian border would probably be a lot easier to get across than the Mexican border, but wasn’t sure where to go with my plan after that.

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labelsareforcancans@reddit

Have you driven into Mexico from San Diego? They don't give a hoot who enters that country or what you bring with you. It's leaving that country that's difficult.

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ranchspidey@reddit

I accidentally went to Canada (illegally) once, I was 8 and boating with my best friend and his dad. We’re in Minnesota, we got caught in some rapids and BOOM, Canada. Whoops!

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EatSleepJeep@reddit

There are lots of places in the Boundary Waters where one can just paddle their canoe into Canada.

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Drunkenaviator@reddit

Yeah, the entire Thousand Islands region, you could swim across in a lot of bits.

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wvce84@reddit

Lots of places to cross the border in the wilderness. It’s pretty well monitored with cameras and sensors these days but if you find the right spot you could slip in unnoticed. Maybe through that library on the border in Vermont

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Huge_Athlete7488@reddit (OP)

A job on a fishing boat doesn’t sound so bad

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tatasz@reddit

This, you can just walk up and live in some small town, marry a local and become part of the community.

If one wants to go crazy, pretty sure that one could arrange to go from Alaska to Russia using fishing boats, and Siberia is a perfect place to live a quiet life without being noticed.

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Over_End_6816@reddit

Yup, make it safely to Siberia, then find yourself an unwillingly recruited soldier into the Ukraine meat grinder.

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tatasz@reddit

Actually nope, up to this point it's contract only (source - my family lives in Siberia). Plus they actually have to deliver it to you, which is unfeasible if you live in a small village. No they won't be driving 50 km through mud to conscript some random dude they don't even know exists. Yes you absolutely can just live there without getting attention from authorities, just hook up with some local lady, you will be considered very eligible if you don't drink, do not beat the lady, and pick up after yourself.

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Over_End_6816@reddit

Sounds kinda blissful, haha

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BeltnBrace@reddit

Imagine if you've got op's problem - but location change.

You're in Australia.. Try escaping that jail, undocumented...

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acityofbonfires@reddit

So the plot of Shantaram?

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turd-crafter@reddit

You would have to cross the border in a car somehow. They check everyone’s passport if you’re crossing on foot now. Make sure it’s not your car. Duck when they take a picture of the car. I don’t know what the fuck you do when get into TJ tough. Go to Hong Kong I guess.

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Huge_Athlete7488@reddit (OP)

Honestly to have a lesser risk of getting my id checked, I’d probably just hitchhike all the way through some sort of border, just get into the car of some college kids going in to party and have them just drop me off as soon as we cross

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turd-crafter@reddit

Tell em to drop you at Hong Kong club!

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ColdCallingU@reddit

There are many routes you could take, each with their pros and cons. First choice to make without papers would be Mexico or Canada because they would be easiest to access. Mexico would allow you a longer runway for the money youre bringing and a general lack of extradition enforcement. You can walk right across the border in offical crossings with no checks in sole cases. Canada would require you to cross with risk of detainment if caught. Also canada is much more expensive and would extradite you if seen on cctv and you have an intl warrant out. If you go the canada route, you better bring some money and make your way up north.

Working in Mexico really isnt realistic. Pay is so low there and they are strict about not hiring latam refugees so they likely wont hire you. Min wage is equivalent of 2.5$ per hour and most earn about that. Housing costs are unrealistic to pay on that wage, thats why many live with their families into adulthood.

In Canada you could possibly find work. Youll have to find the right circumstance but could earn enough off the books to live with roomates in a small apartment and good food. In Mexico, if youre not bringing enough money to survive, youre basically screwed.

Either way, neither canada nor mexico would be your best options long term. Finding passage to an official non extradition country like Vietnam or China would allow you 2 benefits. 1) Cost of living is so low, half or less the cost of even Mexico. And 2) You have a lot of business opportunities with Eu and US from Vietnam and China. You could for example serve as a middleman for Chinese Manufacturers and US Sellers.

Forged documents can always be purchased off the deep web.

If you can make it to the French Foreign Legion, that may work.

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Huge_Athlete7488@reddit (OP)

Being in Canada doesn’t sound so bad, but as you said I assume it would have to be temporary, how do you think one would make their way from Canada (or Mexico) into China or Vietnam ?

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Legitimate-Web-5540@reddit

FFL isn’t the free ticket to a new life that it used to be.

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karinainfc@reddit

The internet has made it so you don't need to know amyone to buy a forged/stolen identity, it is just quite a bit of money and shopping around for a trustworthy source

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Huge_Athlete7488@reddit (OP)

Yeah, honestly it’s the first thing I’d try and do but I wouldn’t even know the first place to look, maybe using an onion browser? I mean I can also try and do it myself… never really forged anything tho lol (yet)

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Ghrrum@reddit

Boats mate, boats are always going to and from places. If you're in the know they're better than other options.

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Maleficent_Bobcat553@reddit

So many need crew. And tend towards privacy

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Ghrrum@reddit

Spoken like someone who hasn't sailed.

With good planning you can get down to South America with little fuss as a solo voyage. Just avoid the Panama canal and sell the vessel on to a Coyote once you're far enough.

The ocean is BIG.

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Maleficent_Bobcat553@reddit

🤣written from my liveaboard sailboat. My point was that you don’t need to buy/steal a boat to get there by boat. You can easily find someone needing help that will take you.

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Ghrrum@reddit

Yup missed the context entirely. Apologies on that.

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ParticularUsed6780@reddit

You may be interested to read "Playing Dead: A Journey Through the World of Death Fraud" by Elizabeth Greenwood, because the tactics used by people who fake their own death are relevant.

I'm a full time sailor with thousands of nautical miles in various places all over the world; and let me tell you, I'm 200% certain many of the neighbors in a given anchorage are on the run from something. The sailing/marine industry is also hugely open to taking on crew with zero experience, no questions asked. Some sort of sovereign citizen type up in the Port Townsendish area of Washington would happily boat you up to Canadian waters without fussing about the niceties of crew lists and checkout paperwork. That's all reachable by trains, buses and ferries from CA, but there may be cameras so you need to consider wearing various hats, reversible hoodies etc so that your appearance changes on the various CCTV feeds. Once up there, a Pacific fishing or tug outfit will hire you under the table if you can stomach the work, and the turnover is so high that nobody will bat an eye when you step off at the next port. It'll fuck up the captain's zarpe but he's not likely to raise the alarm with the local authorities because he's definitely smuggling some additional cargo or has some other reason to not want an investigation into his vessel so he'll make it all go away on his side.

FWIW Central America is not the sort of place you want to be walking/hitchhiking through, weather- and insect-wise. I've been here for two years and you're not making any money even in a tourist area. Plus much of the time in rural spots your Spanish will be useless, as most of the population speaks indigenous languages. How's your Q'eqchi'?

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UnregisteredUser4@reddit

So there’s a series of books accredited to being how alot of people disappeared over the years. It’s called “the paper trip” there’s one two and three all more updated than the last im not sure if they made a four or not. Look into it get some knowledge on it.

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icehole505@reddit

The one time I drove into Mexico, I’m pretty sure we weren’t even stopped at the border going from SD to TJ. Just waved right through

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tarac73@reddit

I was thinking the same thing... we were waved through last year.

When driving just be sure to wear a baseball hat so facial recognition doesn't pick up on you.

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C4PT-pA5Tq@reddit

You're in Cali, so take a boat... anywhere. You don't need "paperwork" to leave the country. And some countries don't require passport to enter.

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TheGoodRevCL@reddit

What country doesn't require a passport to enter?

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Maleficent_Bobcat553@reddit

I walked right into Tijuana. No questions at all.

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Dependent_Home4224@reddit

None that I know of but my ex and I walked across the Panamanian border into Costa Rica. We walked forever and never saw passport control and just didn’t feel like trying to find them. When we flew out of CR to the US- separately, neither of us had a problem.

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Bastyra2016@reddit

Strangely I was thinking about this last night (book I was reading had a scene where the main character got a new passport/new name). Facial recognition is robust and everywhere especially in larger cities. License plate readers to track your flight from wherever and who knows what else. I’m guessing you can buy a passable forged drivers license to help you navigate locally but for international travel-it seems almost impossible to establish yourself in a new country going the “legal” route. I have a legit passport and my image is already in copious databases it would be hard to emigrate and find an apartment to rent without having to resort to subterfuge/paying cash under the table. Once you establish yourself as a fugitive I’m sure it limits your options. I guess a lot depends how hard the authorities are looking for you. Did you detonate a bomb at the Boston Marathon or did you just want to get away from an a low level embezzlement conviction.

Twenty years ago I’d have just gone to a smaller city (100k people) with my fake drivers license/birth certificate and got myself a job and tried to blend in.

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Thenumberthirtyseven@reddit

Walk, hitch-hike or bike to the most remote, isolated American town you can find, then fake amnesia.

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southern_breeze@reddit

and then have your picture plastered all over Facebook by the helpful boomers.

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Dead_Inside50@reddit

Find a hayfield near Buxton. You know where Buxton is? One in particular. It's got a long rock wall with a big oak tree at the north end. It's like something out of a Robert Frost poem. At the base of that wall, you'll find a rock that has no earthly business in a Maine hayfield. Piece of black, volcanic glass.

That's where you'll find the stuff you need.

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NomadDiver@reddit

Then go to a small fishing town called zihuatanejo

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shredthesweetpow@reddit

How could you be so obtuse?

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fentsterTHEglob@reddit

By being acute girl

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DojaViking@reddit

Nice...

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Freakwilly@reddit

I guess they can skip the trek through the sewer pipe?

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DojaViking@reddit

I mean I Don't judge other people's recreational activities

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CuriousTech24@reddit

I would definitely try to skip that part.

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SneakerTreater@reddit

Someone asked how to discretely dispose of the rocks their 3yo falls in love with and brings home.

My "Like Andy Dufresne" reply got no love.

I'm at peace now after your comment

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Pretty_Frosting_2588@reddit

just get someone who looks enough like you to let you borrow their passport to get out of the country and report it lost or stolen later. In 2016 that's how my friend with felony blue collar warrants left. Though he had money and his new ID and paying this person off was over 30k. He had hidden assets to sell to get that.

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MyFavoriteDisease@reddit

Buddy got a legit fake ID in Mexico City. Was $100. Took like 2-3 hours

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sparkchaser@reddit

I am going to assume that your Spanish is pretty good if you're planning on ending up in Panama or Ecuador.

Whether you choose to employ the services of a coyote or not, you're still going to be carrying around a lot of cash and I doubt you'll be able to fit it all in your prison wallet.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you'll last two weeks south of the border before you get robbed of all that cash.

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JazzFestFreak@reddit

Bitcoin could make this easier

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HommeMusical@reddit

Your chances of finding someone who will accept your bitcoin while on the run in rural Center America are small, because the locals don't have the need for cryptocurrencies, nor the financial ability to invest in highly volatile securities.

Of course there's one exception - crime. Criminals continue to love crypto because it's so useful in evading burdensome financial regulation.

The trouble is that if you show up in some Panamanian criminal's lair and say, "Can I convert 0.00001 Bitcoin into balboas?", he's unlikely to hand you stack of currency. He will use rubber hose cryptography to not only take your whole wallet but also find and extract any secondary wallets, and you won't be left to tell the tale.

Having a little cash, particularly if it's older or worn bills, excites little interest. Everyone has some cash.

Having cryptocurrency is like a big red flag to people in developing countries: RICH! RICH! RICH!

You might as well wear a Rolex.

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latigidigital@reddit

Crypto doesn’t all have to be held on a laptop. You could just as well pre-pay (in bitcoin) for several years of a VPS server by a reputable provider that doesn’t keep records, then put all of your main wallets on it. Maintain an encrypted backup on some throwaway email account as an attachment. This isn’t a bad practice even for people who aren’t on the run.

Maintain a spending wallet with no more than 5-10% of your funds. Sit on that until you have a good way to turn it into FIAT wherever you are in the world. That could be by buying things with bitcoin, having them shipped to you, and reselling them locally. Or by finding a buyer in the local tech scene so you don’t get robbed.

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HommeMusical@reddit

Oops, I responded to you at the top.

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barbzilla1@reddit

Buy a boat. Ideally a deep V with a cabin unless you can afford some kind of yacht.

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spammmmmmmmy@reddit

You'd be putting yourself at pretty extreme risk by paying to human-traffic yourself. There are people full- time trying to rescue people from the situation you'd buy yourself into.

You'd be better off to remain in the USA, become educated about the statute of limitations for the crime you think you've committed, and to lay low, work for cash (dog-walking, dive for and sell oysters, or live-in care for an elderly person, etc) until you'd be free of prosecution.

If you think you can resist the temptation, just try to be good and live a lawful life. You won't attract attention.

If you can't resist it... instead turn yourself in, do the time and then live a lawful life.

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LessBit123@reddit

I think just run for office and you’ll be fine.

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Thenumberthirtyseven@reddit

Mexico is obvious. Do the same but to Canada.

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xp14629@reddit

I am in the middle of the US. I hate the cold so I will try not to have to go north. I speak very poor Spanish, but in high school I became very good friends with a guy from Uruguay. Wound up becoming friends with his entire family that had moved here, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. He moved back home. Everyone else is still here. First stop is to see them. I also have a lot of friends near the Mexico border. And going south across the border is not nearly as big of an issue as going to other way. Colombia and Venezuela are going to be the biggest problems trying to get through since I am white, blonde, blue eyed. Not a chance of blending. But a lot of money and being able to operate a plane should help. I just need to get a lot of money and start taking flying lessons.

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HommeMusical@reddit

Three wallets.

A plain wallet with $25 in it that you hand right over when mugged. A second concealed wallet that is fairly easy to find that has $107 in it. (Or any non-exact amounts.)

And then a Purloined Letter style hide-in-plain-sight stash that contains most of your money.

These bad guys probably don't read reddit, so my suggestion would be to have a transparent plastic garbage bag with a lot of garbage in it, including some cheese rinds, but a couple of the garbage items secretly contain most of your cash.

DO NOT USE CANS FOR THIS PURPOSE. It's too easy, people might guess. A transparent bottle with plastic garbage shoved casually in it is much better. (You carefully open the bottom and reseal it to do it. It won't pass very close inspection, but if you get to the point they're carefully inspecting your garbage, they'll find anything you have.)

It is very important to act scared before giving over the first wallet, and then to collapse in despair and beg them on your knees for $20 when they take the $107. If you can cry, so much the better.

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ChaoticEvilFG@reddit

I dont think you or someone would get far south without excellent Spanish, also getting a job off the books is also difficult and probably paid badly

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HommeMusical@reddit

get a coyote

You won't need it. In that neck of the woods, only the US has murderous border guards trying to hunt down and injure or kill migrants and refugees.

Think of it as a reverse commute.

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The problem is leaving a lot of the time but getting back.

I almost went into easy spots to get over the Canada or Mexico border but I don't want people going to prison because they followed my advice.