Where to go from here?
Posted by iain161@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 17 comments
Mother in law passed away overnight. She was at a small hospital that caters for the elderly and wife (next of kin) was called first thing this morning to go to the hospital. There, she was told the sad news and got an opportunity to see her mum which she did.
This was a shock to us as she was in there after a bad fall that broke her hip but was on the mend. In the shock, my wife couldn’t process much of what got said to her.
Since being home, the hospital have called to inform her that her mum has been transported to the nearest big hospital and will be in the mortuary.
I called the big hospital to speak to someone from the mortuary and was told, due to it being a bank holiday, there was nobody there we could speak to and to call first thing tomorrow morning.
I guess, because neither of us have been in this situation before, we are at a loss as to what happens next.
When will we find out the cause of death?
How long will she be at the mortuary before she’s taken to the funeral home?
I called the smaller hospital with these questions and they didn’t have any answers.
Any information would be really appreciated
TroublesomeFox@reddit
Im sorry for your loss.
She'll be at the hospital until the coroner has seen her and identified cause of death, this usually happens pretty quickly. Unfortunately, it's VERY common for elderly people to die after a major injury. Most people who break a hip die within a year. This can often be somewhat of a blessing for them because after a break like that they very rarely have the same quality of life.
Do did she have a will/known funeral plans? Sometimes people plan ahead and choose a funeral home that they want to go to after death. They will collect her and sort things out.
If not, you'll have to find a funeral home (the hospital can likely help with this) and they will go and collect the body and prepare her etc. they'll also help with funeral plans if there aren't any.
Im sorry for your loss, I can imagine that your all shocked and can't make sense of anything. You don't need to make any decisions now or even tomorrow, it's okay to take a day to process.
EmmelinePunkhurst@reddit
There's a guide here: https://www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies which you might find helpful. It goes through everything step-by-step.
sujuchaz@reddit
So sorry for your loss. I work in funeral care for one of the big companies so I'm not sure if this is nationwide but the way it would work with us is as follows. You can contact a funeral directors now to let them know that your mother in law has sadly passed. They can offer advice as to what happens next and can also set up an appointment to meet with the funeral director. This meeting can happen before you've gotten the death certificate or cause of death. With the passing being unexpected, a post-mortem may be needed in which your mother in law would be transported to the coroners to have this done. The funeral director wouldn't take your mother in law into their care without having either a green form (which is acquired when the death is registered) OR a coroner release form (which is acquired after a post-mortem) The government website states that the death must be registered within 10 days. Please don't worry about this as it's worded badly and means 10 days from being notified you can register, NOT 10 days from the passing. The doctor who attended will do their side of the paperwork which then goes to the Medical Examiner, this can take a few days. The medical examiner should then get in touch with you regarding whether a post mortem is needed or not.
I hope all this has made things a little less stressful again I'm so sorry and please dm me if you have any other questions or concerns.
super_starmie@reddit
First of all, I'm very sorry. I lost my dad three months ago and it's horrible.
The hospital mortuary won't send MIL to a funeral home themselves.
You'll need to make an appointment to register the death at the registry office, during this one of the things you get is a green form. You take this to your funeral directors of choice and then THEY will go and collect her from the hospital and take her to their chapel of rest. The funeral directors literally can't touch her until you give them the green form.
The appointment to register the death also needs to be within 5 or 7 days. I forget which. So it needs to be done pretty quickly.
Tomorrow I would contact the hospital mortuary as they will have some questions they need to go through. My memory of this call is fuzzy as I was sobbing throughout but I THINK they ask them if you have any concerns about the care she received and this might be where they tell you what the declaring doctor wrote as cause of death and whether there will be a post mortem, I don't know how this works, dad didn't have one and we knew what he'd died of (sepsis).
Then a funeral director and tell them what has happened and that you'll intend to use them and get an appointment ready, and book the appointment at the registry office. You can take the green form to the funeral directors BEFORE your appointment with them so they can get MIL and move her to their chapel of rest quicker (I didn't know this and I was beside myself thinking dad was stuck at the hospital, which he hated...)
If any info here is wrong, apologies, as I was not doing very well at the time (still not tbh) so I may have missed something or misremembered but I think it's correct for the most part.
SadSurprise81@reddit
This sounds about right to me. But I believe it's 5 days from when the medical examiner / coroner discusses the cause of death with you and sends the details to your local registry offices (the gov.uk website won't let you book it until the registry office has the info from them), rather than 5 days after the date of their passing.
Although I don't imagine that's very strict. My mum died on the 11th of this month and the medical examiner didn't get back to me until the 20th. And the local registry offices were all booked up until the 27th.
When booking the appointment for the death certificate there was an option for them to send the green card to the funeral directors, and if you want a code for the Tell Us Once service.
Sorry for your loss, Starmie — and OP.
Starlinkukbeta@reddit
I would suggest you go to your local funeral director, they operate 24hrs and can give you all the advice and planning necessary.
TheHootOwlofDeath@reddit
This needs to be the top comment, a good funeral director will make everything so much easier and really help you through the process.
Yikes44@reddit
If she died in hospital then it's unlikely to take the coroner long to establish the cause of death as there are no suspicious circumstances. You can start looking for an undertaker. Once the coroner releases the body your undertaker will collect her and take her to the funeral home. They can explain everything else to you then. The coroner will also offer you death certificates. Get a few copies as you'll probably need to send them off to her banks etc, but you can do all of that after the funeral.
Available_Hornet_715@reddit
So sorry for your loss. Is there a bereavement team you can contact at the big hospital? They would usually be the family liaison around these questions and chase the medical team etc.
iain161@reddit (OP)
I was told on the phone that there was nobody we could speak to today unfortunately and that the bereavement team were off
Nice_Back_9977@reddit
First thing tomorrow given them a call, they have paperwork/leaflets etc. with guidance on what to do when someone dies and how to navigate it all. They can answer questions too.
captainfishpie@reddit
I would contact the funeral home, HOWEVER they will not be able to collect her until a death certificate has been issued.
its always best to inform the funeral home of choice in advance - They are very good at dealing with everything from the point of picking up of the body but, like I said, cannot be done until death cert has been issued.
also, im very sorry for your loss.
Iscan49er@reddit
I'm so sorry for your unexpected loss. There is a government website called What to do after Someone Dies, which lays out all the steps to take and may be helpful for you.
jilljd38@reddit
Have you contacted the funeral home yet , they can take them pretty. Much straight away although on a bank holiday you may have an extra call out fee , if it goes to the coriner it might be a little longer till you get the death certificate and can have the funeral,
Salty_Horse_8467@reddit
Sorry for your loss. It might be helpful to post where in the UK you live as this could influence what happens next.
I'm a doctor in NI. if someone dies within 30 days of a fracture or operation here, then it will automatically need to be discussed with the coroner before a death certificate with cause of death can be issued. Coronera are closed on weekends and bank holidays so we would usually do this the next working day. If there's no issue and a cause of death is identified, then a death certificate is issued. As far as I'm aware you can start making arrangements to move them to a funeral directors even whilst this is ongoing.
Not sure if that's the case in other nations.
Rextherabbit@reddit
Sorry for your loss.
It doesn’t sound, from what you say, that death was expected, so there may be a postmortem and investigation to establish to cause of death.
The time scales would be established on any number of cases and other information the coroner needs.
If your MIL had arranged a funeral chosen directors etc you may be able to call them as they may know some ball park figures.
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