If you regularly walk alone at night in the UK, what’s your actual safety strategy?
Posted by the-AI-Chronicles@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 113 comments
If you regularly commute to work or university especially when it’s dark, how do you make sure you reach your home safe. One of my friends was going to his work and suddenly he was attacked by a stranger. I guess he was drunk.
AussieManc@reddit
Am a man
that-zoe-girl@reddit
Don’t walk regularly alone at night but I’m a woman in her 20s so have been taught these things since I was a teenager
I took karate as a teen and my sensei was a female. She took time to specifically teach us females things about what to do if you are attacked. She said that as females a man may overpower you but the main thing you have to your advantage is your voice- scream, shout do whatever. Fight dirty, kick their balls, gauge their eyes, go for the knees.
Other things that we are taught as women include keeping to lit areas, do not engage with people, keep your wits about you- do not have headphones in both ears so you can’t hear, things like hoodies can block your peripheral. We have all been told to carry keys in our hands but some people also carry things like deep heat spray- any self defence tool including pepper spray in the U.K. is illegal except rape whistles, but there are day to day things you can carry to help. Text someone where you are going and when. When you get inside, whether that be a car or your house, lock the doors straight away. Most importantly, trust your gut. If something feels like it is going down at all, get out of there.
It is very interesting hearing this question more from males and opens a very important dialogue. It’s almost strange to me that you guys aren’t taught this from other people growing up.
the-AI-Chronicles@reddit (OP)
I’m glad that you have been taught these things. I wish I had learnt it too. It’s really hard not travel alone in the dark when the job is like that. Luckily it’s summer and it gets dark very late and yeah most sprays are illegal which is understandable. I feel like informing someone about where we are going is not so helpful. People are busy with their own lives.
that-zoe-girl@reddit
That sensei was incredible- I didn’t keep doing karate but I was so so grateful for her. Unfortunately a lot of the other stuff is not taught in schools etc. but more we learn it from other females. I seriously believe basic self defence should be taught to everyone
I understand the not telling people where you are going, it is just something I know some people find helpful. Hopefully some of those tips at least are helpful for you!! And I know what you mean about summer and it’s one of the reasons I love the summer months because I feel so much safer to go out
Neither_Process_7847@reddit
Simply isn't that much of a concern for most guys - you're seriously unlikely to ever need to defend yourself in public, and running is the best response if you do. Probably a bit different in countries like the US where the violence rate is off the charts.
Confudled_Contractor@reddit
One foot in front of the other. Look in front of so I don’t trip over anything. Think that’s about it.
MountainMuffin1980@reddit
I rarely have to think about is a portly, average height bearded man, I'm very lucky. I'll still stay aware of my surroundings, will avoid groups of yobbos and try not to walk down dark alleyways etc.
fearghaz@reddit
Lol.
Your almost the target market
MountainMuffin1980@reddit
Explain
fearghaz@reddit
Unfit, not tall enough to be imposing and seeminlgy thinks their safe
MountainMuffin1980@reddit
Yes. My point being I'm over 40 and have never been attacked or had anxiety about being attacked. Hence, I'm lucky.
fearghaz@reddit
Sorry i misunderstood you then. I thought you were claiming youre average height etc was the reason youd never had bother.
Evening-Web-3038@reddit
What makes you 'very lucky' here?
It's rare that anyone gets assaulted (sexually or otherwise) when out walking at night. So is it 'very lucky' to dodge a fairly rare thing?
You say you rarely have to think about it, but then go on to say you avoid certain groups of people and dark alleyways. Surely that means you do have to think about it fairly frequently?
Just don't quite get your point tbh.
MountainMuffin1980@reddit
Lucky because I've never been attacked, or had anxiety about being attacked or having to walk somewhere alone. And that's for sure not the case for a quite a lot of people.
Evening-Web-3038@reddit
And yet you actively avoid yobbos and dark alleyways...
MountainMuffin1980@reddit
Yeah that's just sensible. I move out of the way the same I'd move out of the way of some dogshit on the path. My point is that it doesn't worry me, or give me a spike of anxiety or fear.
AnonymousCapybara72@reddit
Men are vastly more likely to be victims of random violence, including murder, than women.
MountainMuffin1980@reddit
Okay? As I say, im not worried about being stalked and attacked and will take steps to avoid confrontations as I said.
It would also be interesting to understand the circumstances behind male on male violence stats. I be most are late night after pubs turn out...
Neither_Process_7847@reddit
And gang stuff. Highest risk to the average person in the street is having their phone snatched. or for young women being the focus of attention for way too many creepy types. (mostly not worse than cancelling and leering, but still...). Wouldn't walk at night with the phone visible in some sketchier areas but the actual risk is very low these days. Sadly very low doesn't mean zero, of course.
Happylittlecultist@reddit
Isn't it primarily young men. I'm about to hit 40 and feel the streets are safer than when I was younger.
Still mindful, mind you
distraction_pie@reddit
Statistics/optimism. I'm a woman and I've heard all the 'ooooh don't ever do anything after dark or alone you helpless little girly, something terrible will happen and you will be victim blamed for not taking paranoid precautions' attitude but while I acknowledge that crime is a possibility it is also statistically unlikely and I am not going to become a cowering shut in out of fear of an unlikely event. Of course it is useful to be aware of one's surroundings etc, but if a random man came at me with a knife I would lose so I am not going to tie myself in knots making implausible plans to fight them etc, and realistically night travel is necessary and the UK is far enough north that in winter my journey to and from work happens in the dark - of course it would be terrible if I were assaulted, but it would definitely be terrible to quit my job and live as an impoverished shut in just to avoid ever going out after dark, so I accept that life is risk.
Statistically I believe I am slightly more likely to be assaulted than hit by a car (haven't checked recent stats so I could be off on this), but those assault figures are going to include people who are assaulted by somebody known to them or who are engaged in socialisation or activity that majorly increases their risk. But I cross roads, and I cross them after dark too, because at a certain point you just have to get on with life.
TommyCheckers976@reddit
Living in Scotland. I’ve never once had an issue or felt unsafe in my 40 years. If I was a girl it might be different, I don’t know
MisterD90x@reddit
As a 6'5 big guy in a safe area of the UK, I don't worry too much BUT I am still diligent regardless as anything can happen
christianjwaite@reddit
I told my wife the other day that a woman ran away from me in the park and she was like “wtf were you doing?”, I then had to explain that at 6'2 you’re sometimes posed with a conundrum. There’s a woman ahead of you, say 10-30 feet in front. Do you slow to her pace, which could feel like you’re following her, or… walk faster so you end up in front and then feel like you’re not a threat as you disappear ahead of her.
What is your choice as a fellow big lad?
FuckCallCentres@reddit
I don't change my behaviour based on the prejudices of others.
Adm_Shelby2@reddit
You should. Its not unreasonable for a women to be cautious of strange men when alone at night. Give them space, it costs you nothing.
FuckCallCentres@reddit
What do you mean by "give them space?".
They have space. I don't want to interact with them any more than they want to interact with me. I ain't chasing them down.
What I'm saying is I'm not changing direction, taking a detour or avoiding going to my destination because someone decided I'm a threat to them based on things I cannot control.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
i’m going to get downvoted but this is an example of make privilege and it’s awful to see. women cannot tell which men are predators which means we are wary of all of them. it takes the tiniest bit of human decency to make a woman feel safer and if you’re not willing to do that it shows you’re a questionable person
FuckCallCentres@reddit
You don't know what black people aren't criminals either.
Should they change their behaviour to make you feel comfortable, when they're not doing anything wrong?
The only "priveleged" one here soumds like yourself.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
i don’t care about race. i’ve never been harassed by a woman so i’ll never avoid any woman, even if she’s black. one of my best friends is actually a black woman and she’s wonderful
however i’ve been harassed by men of all races and therefore i’ll be avoiding them all. white, black or asian, i don’t discriminate. i do think that men should adapt their behaviour because it takes the tiniest bit of understanding to know that being a woman is scary and we are conditioned to fear all men
FuckCallCentres@reddit
I have been sexually assualted, flashed and harrassed. All by women.
I don't judge women I've never met, nor do I expect women to adapt their behaviour around me.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
i’m sorry that happened to you but it’s absolutely not the same. as a man you could likely overpower any woman you see
i can’t do that. i’m 4’10 and 90 pounds at my full adult height. a man could easily overpower me if he wanted to because most of them have a foot on me. as a man, you simply can’t and won’t understand the physical disadvantage that comes with being a woman. i don’t care if i discriminate if it keeps me safe
FuckCallCentres@reddit
So I can't pre-judge the same people who sexually assualted me, but you can? And you're seriously accussing ME of privellage?
Again, no one is suggesting YOU change your behaviour. Keep yourself safe, you're more than welcome to do so. You cannot, however, expect others to change their behaviour based on your own prejudices.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
when did i say you can’t pre judge them? all i said was that it’s not the same thing because you pose a significant physical advantage to a woman that a woman doesn’t have in return
you’re incredibly tone deaf
FuckCallCentres@reddit
I'm the tone deaf one?
"I believe prejudice is wrong"
"The sexual assualt you experienced wasn't that bad because your a man."
What one sounds more tone deaf?
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
uh what. please use exact quotations to point out where i said the sexual assault you experienced wasn’t bad because you’re a man. and i mean exact quotations
FuckCallCentres@reddit
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
yes, if you use your reading skills i say it’s not the same situation because you’re able to physically overpower a woman if she were to attack you whereas a woman cannot do that to a man. are you dense or just pretending to me?
FuckCallCentres@reddit
No, it's just a poorly written sentence. If that wasn't your intention, why reference it in the same sentence?
I'm not sure someone who can't write coherent sentences and can't even use capital letters should be throwing the word dense about.
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
someone has no reading comprehension skills…
it’s so funny seeing people talk about literacy skills when their own sentences have multiple grammar and spelling issues lmao
FuckCallCentres@reddit
Lmao......
The irony is indeed palpable.....
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
speak for yourself, because i never claimed that the harassment faced by men is less serious
anyway, it is pointless arguing. take care and take the time to be a good human today
FuckCallCentres@reddit
FuckCallCentres@reddit
FuckCallCentres@reddit
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Adm_Shelby2@reddit
Indeed. Because you can do something doesn't men you should do something. Being conscious of the genuinely fear women benefits the community orders of magnitude more than it costs you.
FuckCallCentres@reddit
I don't think re-inforcing prejudice benefits the community in anyway.
Would you say the same thing to someone wary of walking past black people at night? I don't think so.
Adm_Shelby2@reddit
You aren't reinforcing prejudice, you aren't being heroic in the fight against prejudice because you don't mind scaring women with your behaviour. Yes it would be great if we lived in a world where women didn't have to worry about strange men, but we aren't there and acting entitled makes it harder to get there.
RiverGlittering@reddit
So because women are afraid of strange men, we aren't to be on the same road as them?
What are we supposed to do? Just go change direction? We have places to be too. I can't just tell my boss I'm late because a woman was on the street.
We give them space. I'm not sure what else we are meant to be doing.
Adm_Shelby2@reddit
Just be a bit mindful that not everyone can enjoy walking about confidently at night on their own. Cross the road, walk a bit slower, or faster, take a minor detour, make a phone call, anything. No one's asking you to be late to work, or not to run if your situation requires it. Just a tiny bit of mindfulness and a morsel of courtesy.
RiverGlittering@reddit
Walking slower or faster doesn't work. I've been accused of following people for slowing down.
And I have a walking stick, I'm not exactly the fastest mover out there as it is.
But no, I can't walk around confidently during the night or day. I'm autistic, it's quite overwhelming. Not to mention people just acting like my stick isn't there and walking through it.
FuckCallCentres@reddit
The "give them space" was the weirdest part to me to.
Like do they think we're tailgaiting every women we see, breathing down their neck lol?
FuckCallCentres@reddit
Flimsy_Pie2947@reddit
As a black male, I second this
FuckCallCentres@reddit
Can only imagine some of the shit you deal with man, just for existing, sad world.
Flimsy_Pie2947@reddit
Thank you. I’ve gotten used to it now, as I’ve gotten older I’m more cautious and aware of others paranoia towards me, I’ve just began to tune it out at this point. Point is, keep being you.
FuckCallCentres@reddit
Fuck em man. You sound like a boss.
Nice_Back_9977@reddit
This is incredibly tone deaf
FuckCallCentres@reddit
I believe it is wrong to judge people based on their gender identity.
christianjwaite@reddit
It’s not prejudices, if you’re a 5’2 woman walking at dusk in a park and a 6’2 guy is potentially following you, it’s only sensible to be aware your surroundings. As the man, you should be aware that that might be scary for the other person.
FuckCallCentres@reddit
Judging someone based on things they cannot control like gender of height is by it's very definition prejudiced.
You can argue it's a justify one to have, or maybe given your life experiences it's even a postjudice.
But if my prescence around you makes you unconfortable just by my nature of existing, I am not changing my behaviour.
Lynvor@reddit
I am 6'3" and I often cross the road if I can, i'll admit though it's not so much to make her feel better but rather myself.
HotSector8167@reddit
6'2 here too. I honestly never know what to do but being conscious of how intimidating you may be is never wrong IMO. Its not being oppressed lol
MisterD90x@reddit
I tend to either slow down, cross the road or divert..
I know people say, "well your just walking too"
Like yeah but I hate to make people feel uncomfortable :(
RiverGlittering@reddit
You absolutely have to spot her from further back, then properly sprint so you can overtake her as soon as possible.
Honestly, I just go about my business. If I can, I'll move over to give them as much room as I can. Otherwise I just keep going. I'm not out to attack people, I just wanna get me some fresh eggs.
christianjwaite@reddit
lol, well yeah that’s what happened, I walked at my normal pace to overtake her, got to with 3 feet behind but like 6 feet to the side and she bolted. First time that’s happened.
CowDontMeow@reddit
Nothing, I’m a white man so I’m either going to get attacked/mugged by someone that intends to no matter who walks along or I’m going to be left alone. I’ve managed to diffuse a few rowdy drunk people by just being overly friendly and sorta getting on their level but other than that I’ve been fine.
More than half of my friends are women though and oh boy it’s an entirely different game for them, most wear baggy hoodies to hide their frame because otherwise it’s not if it’s when they get targeted for harassment.
Stinkinhippy@reddit
In the fortunate position of being a white dude who has never lived anywhere particularly rough, so good vibes only.
evelynsmee@reddit
I have two dogs.
It's actually more likely I'll be attacked by a boyfriend than a stranger so.... can't spend life wondering about it. I just try to avoid being out at night without my dogs, or stick to main streets if it's unavoidable.
Fancy_Toe1451@reddit
Being aware of my surroundings, actively paying attention, not engaging with drunks or catcallers, being ready to run, and a rape alarm in my bag. Same as during the day, really.
the-AI-Chronicles@reddit (OP)
Yeah should stay away from the drunk for sure. Does carrying a rape alarm help? I mean what if they hit me even before I reach for the alarm
Fancy_Toe1451@reddit
It makes me feel better. Gives me a sense of control which helps keep my walking calm and purposeful. And if someone sees me actively reach in my bag or coat pocket for something, it theoretically gives them pause not knowing what it is I've grabbed. Even in a non-gun country like this, it might be enough to make a predator go look for easier prey. They don't know what it is. Is it an illegal stun device (I know co-workers who have one) or illegal pepper spray? They don't know. Mine is just a device that makes one helluva racket and has a bright flashing light on it. Still, cockroaches don't like to risk the attention. But it is mainly the comfort factor it gives me.
DazzzASTER@reddit
Be more fucking nuts than the person you think is nuts
CelebrationSimilar11@reddit
anarchtea@reddit
If they get too close, mutter audibly about enjoying rusty spoons.
Fun_Consequence_6970@reddit
Well they do make me feel orgasmic.
thewearisomeMachine@reddit
Ah, the Rorschach approach
tobotic@reddit
Isn't that where you show somebody pictures of black and white butterflies that are actually my mother trying to smother me in a clown costume?
Prestigious-Salt-245@reddit
Otherwise known as the Clarky Cat approach.
TheBlueprint666@reddit
None of you seem to understand, I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with ME!
Mr_Bumcrest@reddit
I just walk home
Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit
i’m a 4’10 woman and frequently finish work at 9/10pm to take public transport home
couple tips
if you’re on the bus at night, do NOT sit on the window seat. many creeps take this as invitation to sit next to you
carry hairspray, if you can get it into a man’s eyes it stings like mad and can give you seconds to run
act crazy if anyone speak to you, i once told a man ‘you can see me? i’m not invisible?’ also called a random man granddad and kept insisting he was my grandpa. if men think you’re off your rocker they’ll avoid you
take self defence classes, i’m a black belt in karate. i’ve only had to use it twice but it’s better safe than sorry
share your location with a friend and your exact route
don’t wear headphones and always be aware of your surroundings. if you see a man behind you make it known that you know they’re there
if you have an iphone, long pressing the volume button and the off button allows you to dial 999 without making an obvious phone call. if you enter the numbers 55 the dispatcher will know you’re not able to talk
hold your keys between your hands. works as a makeshift knife
alternate your route home so your movements don’t become predictable. my bus drops me off a 15 minute walk from my house and i have four different routes that i take on any given day
this is all i remember off the top of my head but i hope it’s helpful xx it’s scary being a woman in this world and i wish i could afford a car but i can’t so this is all i have
FuckCallCentres@reddit
I homestly don't have one. I walk around (rough parts) Glasgow all the time from 12 - 4am, stoned, with headphones on and have done for 20+ years.
I can quite honestly say I've maybe interacted with other people less than ten times in total, and nothing bad has ever happened to me.
mannyrerobate@reddit
I live in quite a smack-head-y (no dosrespect to the heroin users) northern English town. Nothing near as rough as Glasgow. I used to walk from onne town to another every night. The busses stopped at 11 and I would stay at a friend's til about 2-3am every night and then walk back. Almost always just complete solence. Pure calm. You might walk past some road workers on the main road but that's about it.
2-3 years of this walking like an hour and half at 2-3am and I only ever had two bad interactions. One really tall (I'm like 5'8) active user kinda dude comes up to me. Like what time is it? Not being born yesterday I say. "I dunno mate" I'm wearing headphones with a wire leading into my pocket 😂 he's like youve got a phone what time is it? I was like dead mate, times wrong and it's dead. There's a garage there if you wanna know ask them, pointing at the garage and walked off. The dude followed me for a lil bit and then fucked off. Maybe shouted one or two things but I just walked off.
Same sorta thing with a younger south Asian lad. I walked past drinking of bud and he was like rah give us a few drags of that. Obviously wanting to run off with the spliff he thought I had.
I was like nah it's me last one and I'm smoking it when I get back, same sorta arguing, rah you being like that over 2 drags of a spliff. And I just walked off. He started shouting orrr I'll bang you out you pussy ole, rarara, but only after I got like 20 feet away, (not that I was gunna fight him either way 😂) but I wasn't really arsed as the afford mentioned road workers were further up the road the way I was going anyway, so I felt like I had back up even if I didn't 😂
The funny part was he didn't smell as spliff I had a bag full of Zs like 2-3 in jars but it smelled so loud even in the jar ,😂 those were the days.
My experience with things like this only a certain type of very desperate person is going to use violence for a street mugging. Most people will just hand over the thing knowing things are replaceable and not wanting any trouble. So just descalte. Answer the question like you're a normal person not being mugged and then just leave.
Same thing happened when I was in school like year 9 and last years year 11 was hanging outside school at the end of the day asking for phones.. same tactic worked then. I told him the time. He said give me your phone, I was just like no? And then walked off.
DiscoDoberman@reddit
The only weapon I've ever needed was a big gob and a sharp eye + ear.
You look and listen for potential unrest, you walk well away.
Focus on what the people/animals around you are doing, always.
The tone of their voice, their body language, what they're saying.
Avoid people like you have Covid-19.
You see something weird/hear something suspicious, you don't go investigate or watch - you go away fast.
You see a drunk/drugged/whatever person, you turn and go any other direction.
Never walk with your headphones in or staring at your phone.
fearghaz@reddit
Keep vigilant, maintain eye contact, learn death stare.
I'm a short angry fucker. I've been having to keep myself safe since I were a wee lad. I've only got in real bother once, and that was trying to stick up for someone.
PennyBunPudding@reddit
Keys in between my knuckles other hand in my pocket pretending to have a knife. Then run as soon as I see anyone else because no matter how much i pretend the thug life didn't choose me.
iffyClyro@reddit
Lucky me, I don’t really need a strategy.
I just kind of come and go as I please.
The perks of being a fairly big guy.
TapWaterDev@reddit
Just walk... it's a pretty safe country on the whole
WizardButtholes@reddit
Not living in a major city
BerryOk966@reddit
Im a menopausal woman. Im invisible.
Crunchie64@reddit
Are you invisible, or do the teenagers in masks simply recognise that your likelihood of engaging in senseless violence is far higher than their own?
v24t@reddit
It’s such a relief !
Asher-D@reddit
Surely a one off. I get off work at 10 at night and I'm walking for some of that trip back, rarely are people even out. It's the quietest and safest time to be out. Very little cars on the road. It's actually very peaceful and I've always enjoyed night walks. I can actually fully relax, which I can't do during the day due to the amount of cars and cyclists and people on scooters.
Key-Original-225@reddit
Look like you’re confident, keep an eye on your surroundings, don’t look scared.
If something does occur it’s better to run, if you do run, keep running.
Like I said, run but If you have no option but to fight, fight with bad intentions, don’t go easy.
AmeliaOfAnsalon@reddit
V good avice, and in my experience a kindly smile can also help. Who's going to attack someone who smiles at them with confidence and friendliness?
ImKizarian@reddit
Stick to main roads and well lit areas.
LichenTheMood@reddit
I do the opposite. I’m well lit areas folks can see from quite the distance I’m a lone small woman.
In the dark areas, I could be anyone. Folks don’t look too long because the jumpy druggies are paranoid and don’t like it. Everyone just pretends not to see anyone else.
The only times I have experienced trouble have been because someone saw me under a streetlight.
I’m not convinced they offer any safety at all. Nobody is coming to the aid of a woman yelling in the street about being followed, even if it’s well lit. All that lighting does is make sure predators get a good enough look at who they want to harass next to be fairly confident they are vulnerable.
onlyoneatatimeplease@reddit
New maps app out called Safest Way. Only in a few select cities at the moment. You can ask for your city to be added. It gives you a route based on lighting, CCTV and whatever other factors that would make it safe
zig131@reddit
Walk so fast that someone would have to run to catch up with you.
Avoid eye contact by looking through people - especially potential drunks.
Give everyone a wide berth, a la the Covid 2 metre rule. Often end up walking in the road.
FunkyYoghurt@reddit
Mind my own business, power walk, and be confident. The confidence is from knowing I can defend myself and it helps being a tall man. I've had a few dodgy people collar me (asking for a cig, borrow my phone etc) and I just say "No" while keep walking.
mesonofgib@reddit
I'm in London and I just walk around, any time day or night. I personally think the threat of violence from random strangers is hugely overblown (obviously it's very traumatic if it does happen, I'm just referring to the likeliness of it happening).
theoneandonlyvesper@reddit
RBF and just look constipated
Unbeknownsttooyou@reddit
I'm 6'4 and 20 stone... I just be myself.
MethodDue2426@reddit
Thanks for the advice you fat fuck
Cold-Kaleidoscope974@reddit
Lol I posted mine and it got removed by reddit & I got a warning 👏
Easy-Equal@reddit
Other than being semi aware of my surrounding Can't say I ever have or felt the need to worry or have any kind of strategy
MiserableWinter636@reddit
I just run screaming something about aliens. They stay well back
TeaAndCrumpetGhoul@reddit
Can always take your trusty safety knife with you.
dinkidoo7693@reddit
I let someone know where i am going. I stick to Main roads and well lit areas when possible, i have gone live on tiktok during walks home too
Cold-Kaleidoscope974@reddit
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Psychological-Bag272@reddit
Stick to main road and always on the phone with someone or pretend to. If I feel I am in danger or someone is suspiciously too close to me, I will say to the phone "I am almost home, I am just around the corner from you at" to throw off strangers if they have bad intentions.
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