My dog wouldn't even tolerate this
Posted by leaf-green-spring@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 74 comments
Frozen Walmart hamburger patty + microwave rice, stoned but that doesn't excuse this, unfortunately over-seasoned
Big-Sea-8796@reddit
Smash, next
wavdaily@reddit
I feel like you're not stoned enough. It's not that bad.
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
It's missing something it's really bad without but I don't know what that is so I'm stuck in this Sisyphean struggle until I'm out of frozen burgers 😞
aberookes@reddit
Upvote for using sisyphean In a sentence . I enjoy random eloquence in unexpected places. Also a fried egg on top, and I would smash this.
zach0011@reddit
although I wouldnt say seasoning beef to go good with rice is particulary sisyphean in nature.
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
The problem is I always buy too many of these frozen burgers "because they're on sale" "because they'll last longer in the freezer" "just in case" and find myself months later tired of these frozen burgers that aren't even that good but not wanting them to go bad eventually... and then when I've freed myself I start craving them again even though they're not even that good at the cycle continues
zach0011@reddit
let some defrost and just use it as ground beef and make tacos or something
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
My actual ground beef (turkey... it's cheaper and cooks faster) is fine dining compared to this, I wish I knew what to do with this, it has the consistency of hydrated sawdust
Miserable-Ad5401@reddit
Gravy, sauce, anything of the sort. Several people commented moco loco or hamburger steak, both would help with the texture massively. Breaking them up and using them in stroganoff is a solid option since it's such a heavy sauce. Hell for that matter, chili mac might not be a bad route.
gabis420@reddit
Fried egg and chili oil.
nero-stigmata@reddit
put an egg or two on it. hell i'd eat it anyway
Supper_Champion@reddit
I'm sorry, but any dog would think they've died and gone to heaven getting a chunk of ground beef like that. The rice is just a filling bonus.
CHI4610NE@reddit
I could chew this up and spit it out on the floor and my dog would eat it.
bhputnam@reddit
Packet of gravy and some green onions and I wouldn’t have complained an iota.Â
sonofsophia333@reddit
Looks like your dog just took a big runny dump on that rice tbh.
SilentReflection101@reddit
This is dangerously close to what I had to eat tonight. I feel judged.
EllaMcWho@reddit
Just needs a gravy and fried sunny side egg to be a loco moco - get some macaroni salad
ragun2@reddit
My first thought too.
But I mean it's ground beef and rice. Hell, just throw some frozen mixed veggies in and you have a more rounded, filling meal. Could it be more than that? Sure. But this is less shittyfoodporn and more like just lazy, convenient basic meal.
Interesting_Event_68@reddit
That. And add some gravy and you have a delicious 😋 hamburger steak dinner.
deadmanwalkins@reddit
yeah i was thinking this is like 2 ingredients away from what you get at jollibee
FHG3826@reddit
Love loco moco
SilentReflection101@reddit
I live in a gluten free household. I don't get the privilege of buns.
BongwaterJoe1983@reddit
Me and my dog would destroy this
Mattymc075@reddit
At least you ate
SilentReflection101@reddit
I'd gladly share.
SeanThatGuy@reddit
Throw some gravy on it and an egg maybe some onions and you’ve got a loco moco. I’d fuck that up.
UncleDuude@reddit
It’s fine put something on it. Every meal doesn’t need to be a showstopper. Eat some vegetables
Rustmutt@reddit
Someone un-Loco’d your Moco
kriswh83@reddit
That is poop from a butt
danfish_77@reddit
My dog would eat shit off the ground, she'd have demolished this
bignuts3000@reddit
Chop it up, bit of sweet chilli sauce, it will do…..
sandwizard9@reddit
over seasoning isnt a real thing
asinum-fossor@reddit
Your dog is way pickier than either of mine.
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
I hit the jackpot with chihuahua neuroses, if he takes a look at what I'm having and decides it's not worth it he'll just walk away
scfw0x0f@reddit
I was going to guess some frozen Salisbury steak, which I have eaten many times. Used to love Stouffer's and Banquet when I was a lot younger.
blazing_prime@reddit
Dude just fry a egg an add some brown gravy an you got a Hawaiian delicacy the loco moco
BigBootyKim@reddit
You know ball
WhyGirlsPreddy@reddit
It's rough out here
hobodudeguy@reddit
How in the world is this overseasoned?
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
I seasoned the olive oil I used to defrost the burger
Budget_Category_003@reddit
Uhm, excuse me...what?
That did not clarify the statement.
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
It's kinda deep fried? Just not very well
zerovampire311@reddit
None of this is helping my understanding of the seasoning used
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
Oh haha salt, pepper, and that adobo all purpose stuff
Miserable-Ad5401@reddit
Adobo seasoning is delicious, but you really should have skipped the salt if you were using that.
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
That's probably the better judgement, yea
Miserable-Ad5401@reddit
If you haven't done it already, it's also amazing for dressing up frozen french fries, tots, whatever.
Theincendiarydvice@reddit
I am cackling at this exchange. Thank you for explaining (eventually.)
Walter_Padick@reddit
Nattyice94@reddit
You should deploy to where I was just at lmao. 🤣. This looks good compared to what we had. I stick with MREs
RumHamsRevenge@reddit
Chop and mix it.
Miserable-Ad5401@reddit
Yeah. Honestly, this, with a little bit of beef broth or gravy would be a perfectly fine struggle meal.
FloatingScooter@reddit
This is literally the first thing I've scrolled past today that actually looks like food. Still not sure if that's a compliment though.
No_Communication2959@reddit
Needs brown gravy and mushrooms/onions
Mammoth-Might3229@reddit
loco moco
SnooBunnies156@reddit
Bra cook some gravy and mushroom and you have a burger steak my friend
AverageInfamous7050@reddit
This needs to be a monster burger with everything you can possibly think of on it, including 5 kinds of cheese. Make it epic.
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
My stomach knows how bad I am at throwing ingredients together and draws strict limits at anything questionable like "dairy" 😞
SaoirseMayes@reddit
I'm lactose intolerant but I just deal with the consequences 2 minutes after I eat, it's worth it
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
I've already had to replace my first car because the pipes got too messed up to replace, this is my only body and it's already messed up, I'm getting old, it's not worth it.....
AverageInfamous7050@reddit
Oh. Looks like ice cream on it is out of the question then.
Icy_Month192@reddit
Did i just grow up poor or easily pleased? Ive had this and looked forward to it
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
I grew up poor and if my mum saw this she would laugh at me for still not knowing how to make rice
Revenga8@reddit
Just gotta stop it up a little. Add a fried egg on top and gravy, bam it's a loco moco
Emergency_Badger5920@reddit
r/shitfromabutt
NearbyPhilosophy8740@reddit
Dude, if you just made some gravy and add frozen veg, it’d probably make a decent meal
stew5462@reddit
I bet the dog would love it
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
He might take it but he has a clear preference for actual steak, or at least stew beef... he barely accepts rice at all, I don't know what that's about
Theincendiarydvice@reddit
How dry is it? That might explain it.
leaf-green-spring@reddit (OP)
Extremely
Independent-Coat2744@reddit
🧢 I know that dog would eat the burger tho
RFC793@reddit
This is some r/poopfromabutt material
BigZangief@reddit
Break the party up into little bits. Garlic salt it generously, the. Throw it in the pan nicely flat. Don’t stir or move it until it’s just about cooked through and then quickly stir it around before putting over your rice. This way it gets char on the bottom but doesn’t dry out the meat. And when you pour it over the rice, the fat helps to not make it so dry. I used to eat this 1-2 times a day and still love it
bandwagonnetsfan@reddit
Buy some Japanese Curry to put over that