I was really excited to purchase from this vendor, but then some odd things started happening.

He shipped my order quickly, and the tape is exactly as described and the rolls are bigger than the Goontape rolls, so it seems like a good value.

However, it became clear that he used my shipping info to figure out extra info about my life and has now been terrorizing me and my family.

I got ding-dong-ditched the other night with a flaming bag of dog poop. I assumed it was just edgy teens.

The next day, my company HR dept called me into a meeting and had some “concerns about my character.” They had received an anonymous phone call claiming I was involved with a cult and had engaged in ritualistic cannibalism. The phone number had the same area code as the location the tape shipped from.

Right after that meeting, my wife called me crying. A man had shown up at my son’s school and called him a “fucking retard who can’t read”. I rushed home and he was still crying. FFS he’s still in preschool, of course he can’t read.

If you’re reading this, please leave my family alone. I’ll buy more tape.