Anyone else feel like your quality of life peaked early in life?

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TheAngerMonkey@reddit

Man, we need to talk about how the people here who feel like shit's going okay DO NOT have kids. Parents, are y'all OK??

I mean, I know the answer is "no" and I'm sorry that's happening.

Gee whiz, I cannot IMAGINE why the birth rate is dropping precipitously...

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dutch_emdub@reddit

Omg, I was literally about to reply with 'yeah, i am fine, but I also don't have kids'.

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MelpomeneAndCalliope@reddit

Yeah. I was about to say I’d be doing fine if I didn’t have kids (born pre-2016 when I thought shit would just keep progressing forward like an idiot).

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The birth rate is down because fewer teenage girls are getting pregnant, more women are getting IUDs (fewer accidents), and the state of the world/the country we live in is chaotic, uncertain and unprecedented. Costs are out of control with no plan to do anything but cause them to increase.

It's also far more dangerous to be pregnant right now, with a high maternal mortality rate and doctors being told by politicians that they can't provide necessary healthcare services to women.

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TheAngerMonkey@reddit

...you know that last part was sarcasm, right? Because: trust me I know and agree with all your points.

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CrabFederal@reddit

I have 4 life is good. Not peaked yet.

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Neither-Mycologist77@reddit

I have one kid and it's rough, man. Finances are really starting to get tighter and the demands on our time and all of our other resources are increasing. I've got nine more years until he's college-aged. Trying to keep my head up, keep my mind and body as fit as I can manage so I can be there for him as long as possible and maybe scrape a little joy together once in a while, and take it just one day at a time.

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DrunkenMaths@reddit

Back when rent was affordable?

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WhatsHerFaceRevisted@reddit

I will never reach the level of financial comfort my parents have. My sister is the executor on the will so even when my parents pass she and her husband will take it all. Might need another jet ski or ski boat. It's cool I like rice and beans and they have a complete amino acid profile.

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Organic_Popcorn@reddit

I'm more of a rice and soy sauce person myself.

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WhatsHerFaceRevisted@reddit

That's respectable

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Eazy12345678@reddit

no you get more money with age and quality increases with money

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Embarrassed_Key_4539@reddit

No I’m peaking now at 47

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IllProgress4439@reddit

Oohhh that means I still have time

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Lil_Brown_Bat@reddit

Same. For me, I think it helps to not have kids.

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Appropriate_Berry_44@reddit

I confirm this.

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MetalEnthusiast83@reddit

Nah my kids rock. I enjoy hanging out with them and showing them new things. It's fun.

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Tamuzz@reddit

46 here and living my best life.

It is the kids that make for me. They make life so much more fulfilling

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xParesh@reddit

I agree. I take at least 5 or 6 short vacations a year because I only need to take care of myself. In some regards life’s never been better.

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No-Hospital559@reddit

Same here, no kids and all my friends with kids are struggling or sinking.

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Embarrassed_Key_4539@reddit

Confirmed child free as well

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El_Daywalkerino@reddit

Lol yeah if I didn't have kids I'd feel like a bazillionaire probably 😂

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usingbadnamesabunch@reddit

100% I have kids, but I also have money. Times are great for me.

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tmotytmoty@reddit

right on

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moles-on-parade@reddit

If it weren't for progressive eyeglasses and my slightly declining running pace, I'd think I'm about as good as I've ever been here at 46.

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thethurstonhowell@reddit

I’m enjoying the glasses. Was in denial I needed them and it’s like a 4K version of life when I throw them on.

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DrewBaron80@reddit

My joints get a bit sore and I can’t sleep past 6:00am, but other than that life is awesome at 47. Been married for 21 years to the most amazing partner/mother/all around amazing person. Grew up living in small apartments, but now own my own house with a backyard that has room for our garden beds and plenty of space to play with my son. I didn’t finish high school and just got my GED, but I’m about to finish my second master’s degree, I’m head of my department at the school I’ve been working at for eight years, and I’m about to take a big step up in my career. I could go on, but basically all the hard work over the past 20 years is paying off.

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dmaul17@reddit

Mostly the same. Money is more than we've ever made, never wanted kids so don't have any issues there. Main issue is marriage has been a little strained and lacking intimacy for years. But even that's kind of meh as it will either get better or we'd both be fine apart as we both make solid money (that we keep separate other than mortgage and one shared credit card we use only for groceries, dining out together etc.).

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ActuallyAlexander@reddit

Yeah, widow’s peaking

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Soft-Caterpillar-618@reddit

Best I’ve ever been at 43. Also child free.

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smellslikebadussy@reddit

Likewise. My career is flourishing, I'm in my best shape since college, marriage is fantastic.

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like_shae_buttah@reddit

Still waiting for the peak

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KRoadkil@reddit

Because that quality of life will never exist again, economically speaking.

Use the consumer price index calculator if you really want to feel like you aren’t achieving what our parents had in the 90s. It tracks inflation and the buying power of the dollar since the metric was tracked. In another thread I pointed out that you would have to make approximately $200k a year to have the same quality of life as we did growing up.

If you make $100k today, it’s like your parents living off \~$39k. All the anti-union propaganda over the past 3 decades has done its job and kept wages low while production skyrocketed. I know a lot of people who were/are holding out on starting families because they were waiting for a ‘better time’ but it never came. (That’s what she said)

https://data.bls.gov/cgi-bin/cpicalc.pl?cost1=100%2C000.00&year1=202601&year2=199004

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AliveInTheFuture@reddit

I think we need a perspective check here. Don’t turn a class war into a generational one.

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Pinklady777@reddit

Seriously. This always annoys me. Most of the boomers I know are great and generous people. They were fortunate in the timing of their lives. But they didn't make the decisions that got us here.

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More-read-than-eddit@reddit

I mean collectively yes they did

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More-read-than-eddit@reddit

What if both apply broadly with plenty of exceptions to each?

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KRoadkil@reddit

I think it’s both since they run the government as well. It’s always been a class war, with propaganda pitting neighbor against neighbor and making even skin color an issue. It became a generational war when the boomers started crying about vacation homes and such when younger generations are barely buying houses.

The Acali Experiment in 1973 was one example that people generally have no problems with each other, it’s only when an outsider tries to create confrontation that issues arise.

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pina_koala@reddit

It is extremely depressing to see the chart comparing real wages to inflation. Right around the time a lot of us were born, it stopped tracking.

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brokenman82@reddit

Well. My teens sucked. My 20s sucked. My 30s sucked. I’m 43 and it sucks. So…

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Blando-Cartesian@reddit

Same. Except childhood sucked too.

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4stainull@reddit

Same friend

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FlatRooster4561@reddit

I’m currently peaking right…now. Hopefully that changes tomorrow, for the better.

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absentlyric@reddit

I wouldn't say "peaked", as Im doing great financially in life now in my 40s with a lot going on in my life.

However, there was a time in my late 20s when I had literally zero worries, I only had a 1 bedroom apartment with an air mattress, a laptop, and 1 car, but for some reason, I loved that life. I only cared about what plans all my friends and I were going to make for the weekend.

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thetrappster@reddit

No, other than some health iasues, I feel I'm at my highest and still climbing.

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AwkwardPersonality36@reddit

In a way, yeah. Became widowed at age 37, 5 years into my marriage, and was late to the game to get married at age 32 as it were. Thankfully, never wanted kids but still had to start over from scratch and build a whole new life for myself without the future I had been planning on. I'm in the most debt I've ever been in due to it, but working a stable job after retiring early from my high stress career to be a SAHW.

Is life what I thought it would be? No. Do I feel in some ways I've already peaked? In some ways, yes. I feel like I no longer have the dreams I did when I was married, despite being in a long term relationship now. I do feel in a sense that the best days are behind me, yet in other ways, I see there is still so much possibility ahead of me, at age 45 now.

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ET__@reddit

In hindsight, yea sure, but I can bet in 10 years I’m wishing I was right where I am right now.

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crazycatlady331@reddit

I peaked at 32. Work was going great, I had an amazing friend group, and an amazing boyfriend at the time.

Now nothing is going so well for me.

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dallyan@reddit

Yeah my 20s were fun as hell. All good until I met my ex.

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crazycatlady331@reddit

For me, Covid lockdowns (I turned 40 a few weeks into them) were the beginning of the end.

I broke up with the guy at 33 (we were long distance and he just couldn't make it work) but my career and friend group were still rock solid.

My career has taken a completely different track (partially to changes that Covid made to my industry that haven't turned back) and my friend group isn't strong like it used to be. I moved two years ago (an hour away from where I was before) and am willing to go halfway for my friends, but the effort hasn't been reciprocated. I've literally sent them a list of restaurants in a town halfway between us. At best, they now just text me cat pictures (not a bad thing).

In the last year or so, I've really questioned why I'm even on this planet in the first place. More often than not, I wake up wondering why I even bothered.

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picklecruncher@reddit

Oh my gosh, this is heartbreaking. I feel very similarly, and the "why am I here?" is a nearly everyday feeling. I don't actively want to die, but if I think about not waking up tomorrow, it's a feeling of "meh." Typing that out made me chuckle though. Life is absurd, so I guess we just keep laughing at the cat pictures for now, buddy!

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crazycatlady331@reddit

I'm to the point where I'm not funding my IRA this year (I have to eat and put gas in my car) as the likelihood of me living to retirement age dwindles by the day.

But cat pictures give me a glimmer of hope in an otherwise dark time.

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Heavy_Pin7735@reddit

All. The. Time! I constantly think my past is better than any future…and it’s not easy. More friends, more prospects, more hope, more joy, more fun - everything was better 10-12 years ago.

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Stabwank@reddit

Since packing in the drugs and cigarettes and cutting down on the booze, things have gotten pretty dull...

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sodabubbles1281@reddit

No - quality of life is peaking now at 43 for me

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BNBROLIC@reddit

Just PRETIRE….

Do All those things you want to do but are waiting for the right time or for after retirement .

I know so few retired boomers actually doing what they want. They may have the wealth but they are tired and broken

Don’t ever wait on things that will fulfill
Your soul.

The 9-5 work grind will be there when i are done fully loving your life’s passions

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MetalEnthusiast83@reddit

No, not at all.

I didn't even meet my wife until my mid 30s. I was morbidly obese until I was like 39. I have two kids now, a decent job, we are pulling in pretty good money, going on vacations and stuff. Physically I am in the best shape I have ever been, just hit a 275lb bench recently!

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a-ha_partridge@reddit

Man… Check on your Xennials today.

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rcflores23@reddit

I can’t imagine being child free. Although you have all money for yourself without supporting children, there are rewards in live with raising children and sacrificing for them. Our parents did that for us

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RightIzWrong@reddit

Everything earlier in life was great: college degree, fulfilling career, lovely caring wife, 2 healthy kids.

But now I’m drowning in debt, full of self hatred, marriage hanging by a thread, no college or retirement sayings, just trying to survive day to day. If it weren’t for the kids … bye bye.

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Plumeria9798@reddit

Yes and no. Society wise, yes. Every day now feels like a fresh hell and like we will never go back to calmer times. Also, if smart phones disappeared tomorrow, I wouldn’t mourn it.

Personally, I much prefer the security of being in my 40s and really not GAF what anyone thinks.

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TheAngerMonkey@reddit

This is the real friction point in my life. Personally, I am great. Unfortunately the society I'm forced to live in is a goddamned dumpster fire.

So we give time and cash as we can to make whatever we can a little better.

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Chance-Adept@reddit

Many such cases. Hit a few lottery tickets when I was thinking about it this week. Graduated in 2006, got job pre GFC. Bought first house in 2010, when prices were depressed by housing crash. Etc.

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Plumeria9798@reddit

💯. This is a big part of why I’ll never feel millennial. We entered the workforce before the recession, hubby bought his first house after the crash at a steal, and then we were able to upgrade about a decade ago when it was still a buyer’s market…right before home prices doubled or tripled in our area. We didn’t get a ton for that first house but man, did we get the upgraded house at a bargain even by the standards of a decade ago.

Meanwhile, my core millennial sibling born in the late 80s lived at home through her late 20s, and will likely never be able to afford buying a house despite having a decent enough job.

So yes, our microgeneration did hit a lot of lottery tickets generally speaking. But yeah. Society now is a giant dumpster fire and the best we can do is be good people, help where we can, and stay off the endless feeds of Meta (this has helped my mental health a lot.)

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Chance-Adept@reddit

Yup! I forgot to add we bought a house at the end of COVID so our interest rate is….um, attractive. Truly blessed, pay it forward is all we can do!

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Plumeria9798@reddit

Oh boy. Yes. Things went to utter crap right around then in so many ways. I’m happy that you have your house regardless!

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Adrasteia-One@reddit

This is my experience as well. As much as the world around us seems to crumble further each day, I try to follow that wise saying about trying to make positive change starting with your own surroundings. My life isn't perfect right now, but I'm doing fine, relatively speaking. Doing or saying something kind for others helps us, I think.

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crazycatlady331@reddit

If smartphones disappeared tomorrow, the world would be a better place.

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realitythreek@reddit

I’m doing fine and I haven’t peaked. Now if you’re talking as a society, I’m not sure. Things are looking dire.

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Cthulhus-Tailor@reddit

People are *generally* doing worse relatively than they did 30 years ago. The amount of money you need to live well has risen substantially while wages generally have not followed nor kept up with inflation. Even those who are doing well would have been doing better back then.

I imagine anyone doing okay now either has a partner who also makes good money and they’ve put their incomes together, or you have an individual who makes good money in a low cost area and/ or doesn’t have children.

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elphaba00@reddit

Life until late 30s was good. I had a job that I was making more than what it was worth. Then a new leadership team came in and wiped the slate clean. It became all about the bottom line and not the people value. I call it layoff by deleting rows on an Excel spreadsheet. So I had to start all over. Now I'm at 2/3 of what I was making then, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Plus, if I get back to where I was, it won't even compare.

I'm very thankful that my parents have a college account for my kids because there's just no way. Someone asked if I had plans for summer vacation. For what? My front yard? I also have to keep a straight face at work because it's definitely a haves and have-nots situation. I have people talking about their long weekends in Punta Cana or their two weeks in Europe. Someone was saying today that, unless an airplane is involved, it's not a vacation.

It's bad, but sometimes I just think, "Maybe I wasn't meant to have a good life."

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neodraykl@reddit

Yeah man, the 80s were amazing. Everything since has been lame.

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RedSolez@reddit

I didn't have an idyllic childhood so my life is exponentially better now than it ever was as a kid.

The only thing I'm envious of with my parents was that they had a lot more buying power (which they mismanaged, I have more assets and disposable income than they did because I don't squander it) and the fact that they got to parent in an era where kids were allowed to roam free and not be over scheduled. I am very much a 90s mom in mindset- I want my kids out there having independent experiences, we don't have them in nonstop activities- but other parents don't parent that way so it makes it hard. I also never expected that my own social life would suffer because my kids aren't into travel sports, or any sports.

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vulgarvinyasa2@reddit

Nope. 45 and best ever and getting better and more interesting by the year. My mom said, “Your 20s are for sucking and fucking and making mistakes, your 30s learning from them and getting yourself whole, and your 40s are when life really starts”

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mjh8212@reddit

I had a really great internship doing what I always wanted to do they were going to hire me when I was finished with my program. I was 20 hours away from finishing and working 13 hour days. Then suddenly I started having severe pain I couldn’t do this physical job anymore I was diagnosed with painful bladder disorder told I couldn’t work and went on disability in my thirties. That was around 16 years ago. I’m in my forties have multiple new diagnosis one pretty life changing. You never know what’s going to happen. I’d say I peaked in my thirties I had a nice house I worked I was raising kids and my marriage was great. Then we lost the house moved and I ended up divorced cause he couldn’t handle me being like this.

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Trilogy_of_Five@reddit

I'm sorry that your partner ditched on the "in sickness" part. Health issues and disability can hit any of us at any time regardless of how we live, and it's a bitter pill to swallow. I hope you can find joy and peace and peak again, even if it looks different to the way you imagined it.

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Applesaucesquatch@reddit

Personally I feel I haven't peaked yet. There are constant hurdles but things seem to keep improving. I chalk it up to being older, wiser, and having a little more self control.

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radarthreat@reddit

The peak of civilization was September 10, 2001. It’s been downhill since then

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BrightAd306@reddit

I have several kids and live better than my parents even though we make less money because we’re better at living within our means.

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taskforceslacker@reddit

Far less folks in our age range buying boats to park on the lawn and mid-life crisis machines.

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SARstar367@reddit

I just need the “sandwich” years to end and I’ll be ok. Taking care of kids and parents is exhausting.

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GoodElectricNW@reddit

No. I’m 50 and just hitting my stride.

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KitchenNazi@reddit

Things were simple back in the day. Not as much to spend things on either.

My quality of life is far superior. I had a kid at 40 so got travel and have lots of fun when I was in my prime. Life in general is pretty great.

I worry more about my kid’s future. What’s the world going to be like?

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TexasRN1@reddit

It’s hard to plan for the future, when the future is so uncertain. Safety nets like social security might not be there. So yes, I’d say quality of life has peaked. I just hope it doesn’t fall drastically.

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Writing_Femme@reddit

My life has changed dramatically in the last 4 years - it's a new chapter of life. It's harder now, but still better quality in many ways.

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iamthe0ther0ne@reddit

Yeah, but that's the intersection of autism and trauma and bad luck.

I think our gen was the last one to have a reasonable chance at making it, so a setback puts you at the following generation that's had an uphill struggle the whole way

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59apache01@reddit

It really depends on what you mean, but the standard of living in the US has been on a slow, steady decline for the last 25-30 years. It really seemed to accelerate after the recession of 2008-09. Speaking personally, I feel like I've been spinning my wheels in the mud for the last 15 years.

Something else you have to remember is a lot of us left the starting gate jaded, or at least I did. Ever since I was old enough to understand things like stocks, investing, retirement, Social Security, etc., I always saw it all as a pyramid scheme. That is, those who get in early do great, but those who are late to the party get the scraps.

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AffectionateFig5864@reddit

My mental health was absolute trash in my youth and that showed up in the quality of many of my relationships, the jobs I was hired for, my physical health, etc. It all started to come together in my mid 30s; not sure if I could say I’m “peaking” now at 41, but life’s basically done a 180. I will say that things would be a little better if I had spent less time in chapter 1 planning to off myself by chapter 2, but my therapist and I are working on that.

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Broad_Tie9383@reddit

I'm honestly doing better emotionally and financially than I ever expected, but worse physically. My kids are less like me and more like some of the more difficult members of my family, and I'm reminded that genetics plays a larger role in personality than parenting. My life is objectively pretty good, tbh.

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1_art_please@reddit

This is interesting. How would you say your kids are and is there anything parenting can do to change it around?

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VividAd7961@reddit

Xennial is the last gen that had affordable housing in large cities in college, if you didnt buy end of your 20's then you are maybe as fucked as everyone

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1_art_please@reddit

For myself I had to rent until I was 40. I was still lucky in the sense I was able to afford to live with roommates in a major city with what I made at my very modest first jobs after college. We have some rent control here and I was able to save money while rents just skyrocketed while mine remained stable. If I hadn't been able to get in on that I couldnt have had the life I did.

I was then able to buy a house in a remote area before covid after saving staying in a rent controlled place before rents went haywire. If I had waited 4 months I couldnt have done it.

In my generation it feels like we were like Indiana Jones, grabbing our hat just before the doors shut.

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Imbriglicator@reddit

I think your question needs an addendum: "if you live in the US". I can't speak for you, but I would imagine so. In my case, no not at all. 😔

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Human-Put-6613@reddit

I peaked at 28/29 despite that being during the 2008 recession. Now everything feels just so dismal. I am an older parent and watching my little kids live in this world makes me more anxious/depressed/hopeless than I’ve ever felt before. I just keep trying to instill in them how to be a good human, but I’m not sure the future we’re creating will ever reward that quality.

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PickleFlavordPopcorn@reddit

I make more than I ever have and it goes less far than it ever has. I’m downwardly mobile but that’s not remotely my fault.

Of course you don’t have the quality of life from a completely extinct economic reality that humans will never experience again. Listen to Planet Money or something, educate yourself about the world you live in, this should not be just occurring to you

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CarlSpackler22@reddit

That's called childhood

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crazycatlady331@reddit

I peaked in 2012. 32 is not childhood.

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Traditional_Entry183@reddit

I feel like society, at least in the US, peaked around 2012. Broadly speaking, just about everything got better gradually up to that point. Then it started to slide down until really crashing more recently.

Individually, I was also at my personal peak in a lot of ways right around then as well at about 35.

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crazycatlady331@reddit

2012 is the year I personally peaked.

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AshDogBucket@reddit

No, I've had the opposite. I lost so much of my 20s recovering from religious trauma and dealing with the ensuing abusive relationships, DV, SA... in my 40s I'm finally living my best life for the first time. Financially for the last several years I've just been scraping by, but that hasn't stopped me from doing all the things I love. My spouse and I go on our super Thrifty trips together, I go on my super cheap solo trips. There was a time years ago that we both had so much more money but we weren't happier. We made that much money because we were so busy. We had so many commitments that meant we couldn't leave and our jobs were too stressful for us to be able to fully relax and disconnect.

We just moved cross country for the third time in two years. We are loving exploring our new surroundings. I'm doing work that's meaningful to me and he is between jobs so he can do things like drop everything to go drive back and visit his kids.

I really hate that I wasted my twenties but I wouldn't be where I am if everything hadn't gone exactly as it did.

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wheniwaswheniwas@reddit

I've mentioned this before, but talking with my buddies the other day really crystallized it. Twenty five years ago, a ten dollar bill could get you a couple beers and wings. I get that inflation exists, but let me frame it differently.

Around 2005, I had a genuinely shitty retail job making $30k a year. I could still afford to go out, pay my share of rent and bills, and actually hang out with friends. As teenagers in the late nineties, twenty dollars on a weekend meant you could hit the diner, buy smokes, pitch in for gas, and catch a movie. You could do things.

My parents were both in education. They did okay, not great, but their friends had beach houses and solid pension retirements. That was supposed to be my path too. I started college in 2001 as an education major at a small state school. There were at least 2,000 kids in that major that year. I remember one professor spending 70 percent of class literally teaching us how to game the pension system correctly, maximize benefits, play it right for 25 years and you're gold. I dropped out. I looked at that class of 2,000 kids all chasing the same pension loophole and thought, this is a scam. This won't scale for my generation.

I got lucky and went a different direction. Twenty five years later and most of those perks have dried up anyway. Teaching is important work, but it's not what it used to be. The pension promises got gutted. The security's gone. And despite earning well now, for what my wife and I do and what we make, we're not living to the standard those pension era teachers had. We're certainly not living to the standard a similar income would have afforded twenty years ago.

That said I do feel like quality of life for me is great now. I'm very fortunate though through luck and good opportunities. I don't know if I peaked or am peaking economically but my best times for creativity and just seizing life were when I was in my twenties. That could be nostalgia or just age related bias but I miss the days of playing shows with my band and checking myspace to see if we had new followers or comments.

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MisRandomness@reddit

I spent my 20s and 30s struggling financially and flipping back and forth trying to figure out how to make it better. Then I finally finished my college degree in December and my career and quality of life is taking off in exponential ways. I see nothing but brightness for my personal quality of life. But for society in general, it has and still feels like a downhill for sure.

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Mr-Blackheart@reddit

Never had kids so not in the same boat as you.

Now, fully realize that if I had it wouldn’t be close to what my folks experienced lifestyle wise and would be fucked royally if I made the samechoice to reproduce.

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nounthennumbers@reddit

Yeah, in about 2024. I could afford everything I needed. My body wasn’t betraying me.

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Aggravating-Try1222@reddit

https://i.redd.it/8x4n6x5zap2h1.gif

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CSWorldChamp@reddit

This is not just you wearing rose colored glasses, it’s a measurable phenomenon. American prosperity peaked in 1979. That’s when the very rich started siphoning everything up for themselves. Adjusted for inflation, we as a group are poorer than our parents. The price of everything has continued rising, while wages have remained flat.

So in very real way, life is harder than it used to be.

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SplitFingerSkadoosh@reddit

It's a byproduct of growing up in the great decade of the 90s, then watching everything collapse around you as we get older.

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Designer-Bid-3155@reddit

I'm 48 and my life is 🔥 ...... I equate it to being childfree.

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taleofbenji@reddit

And our kids will have it worse than us.

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NinoNino3@reddit

Its very weird- Its becoming clear to me that my peak was 35-44. 46 now. My company was acquired by scum a few years back, lost 30% of my income... Everyone arounds me seem to be YOUNG and I feel old (I look decent though- but still have nearly 50 year old organs LOL) And I am renting in a place that I could never afford to live. I know that I need to make changes and accept my present circumstances. And people these days are struggling so much, and I have no reason to really complain. But yes, the best feels very much behind me. I feel stupid even typing this "poor me" shit.

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Murderbot_420@reddit

In the immortal words of one Dennis Reynolds “I haven’t even begun to peak”

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flash_match@reddit

If I can get my knees to stop freaking out on me every few months I agree. I have amazing kids who bring me excitement and wonder every day. My husband and I are finally starting to find romance again after some really tough years. I took up my childhood hobby again (playing piano) and it makes me so happy.

Thinking of doing additional education when my oldest is more independent.

I have bad days for sure but now I also have enough wisdom to know “peaking” is a state of mind and is always possible.

Sometimes peaking is just having inner peace or more grit. Peaking can even be getting through something difficult and trusting yourself and your community even more.

Of course none of this would be possible without my antidepressants so pour one out for vilazadone. 😀

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GerlockADUS@reddit

Peak was about 1983

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Miserable_Return_843@reddit

It’s a literal fact that we are the first generation to inherit a more bleak outlook, the first generation to have a negative trajectory prediction versus success.

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Ziggity_Zac@reddit

My 20's were fun in a much more wild and wreckless way. I was absolutely feral in my 20s and into my very early 30s. Not sure if I'd say I peaked then though.

I have having a great time at 47. I don't even feel like I'm at peak right now. I look forward to the next few years and what I can make of them. I have big dreams and a road map to achieve them.

I do, sometimes, feel like a wild animal that has been domesticated though. I will, occasionally, yearn for the wild freedom of my 20s. Call in sick on a random Wednesday and just dive off the deepend bar hopping all day. Staying up late and just letting impulse drive my decisions.

But I know what's at risk if I have to experience the "and find out" part of "fucking around."

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Single-Ad-3260@reddit

Outside of taking two weeks to recover from a 3 night Vegas smash, I’m in peak form living my best life with my family and my guitar.

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helikophis@reddit

Pretty sure my parents are having a much cushier retirement than I ever will, but I think my quality of life in my mid-40s is about comparable to what they had, although they had a much nicer house than I do (which they trashed). Though to be fair - I only have one child while they had 4 - if I had to pay for 4 children I would probably not have the same quality of life.

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AUCE05@reddit

No. I am just now entering my peak. I set stretch goals in HS and it has taken me a few decades to reach them. But man they are paying off.

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JazzlikeAd1555@reddit

Man I moved to Bordeaux France and feel like I’m on an upward slope

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sastrugiwiz@reddit

where did you move from? what do you do in bordeaux? asking bc I'm in usa and dream of living in bordeaux.

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JazzlikeAd1555@reddit

I moved from Alabama working at NASA to here working for a space company. Best part is Trump and Leon basically paid for my masters here and the move with their make all the government workers quit scheme. Funniest part is that they’re wanting me to come back. Not a chance in hell!

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Old-Tea1980@reddit

Nope, never peaked

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Pretend_Education_86@reddit

Every year that goes by my life gets better. Not society but my life. No kids and no terrible family or friends or outside people's drama. Just me, my girl, and my cats, work from home, and a castle.

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Weekly_Library9883@reddit

I think I peaked in about 2018/2019 (late 30s) at least financially I definitely did. Even tho I was still paying off my student loans and made about $15k less than I do now, I had much more disposable income. Now it’s just a struggle to afford to leave the house. Long gone are the days of planning home improvement projects or a 10 year anniversary trip (which is coming up this year and all we can afford is a long weekend in a motel about a 4 hour drive away).

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iwantmy-2dollars@reddit

I slogged through a lot of shit to get here and have a life that I never thought I would. Career wise once I left academia I immediately felt more fulfilled and could pay my bills. Wanted kids my whole life and I’m sitting here with my 4 and 6yo snuggled up with me and a husband that I’m deeply in love with, obsessed with beyond all reason. We live in the kind of neighborhood and school system I always wanted for my kids. I work hard to find affordable sports for them to participate in and they love it. I lead a scout troop for them. My in laws are cool. My parents aren’t the kind of grandparents I thought my kids would have but I can’t change that. I miss my career but it’s an opportunity to do something else when my kids are a few years older. The world is shit, but all of this makes me feel content and fulfilled.

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HarryBalsagna1776@reddit

That depends on what you mean by "peaking". Career-wise I am at a peak for sure. I never dreamed I'd be doing what I am doing.

As far as material stuff goes? I'm also at a peak IMO, but it's not really what society says is at the top of the mountain. I chased fancier vehicles, bigger houses, gadgets, etc. for too long. I've regressed in that regard. Downsized my house, have reliable driving appliances not status symbols on wheels, have went back to a dumb phone, etc. I spend more time unplugged than I do online. Hiking, biking, group workouts, pub trivia, collecting and polishing rocks, cooking, etc.

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HuckleberryKnown9288@reddit

I can give you a completely different perspective, as I am a person leaving in Central/Eastern Europe. I got to tell you, nostalgia aside, the quality of life has dramatically improved in the last 20-25 years. As for myself, I could not be happier, in better shape and I plan on doing this for many years to come.

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sigm45@reddit (OP)

This makes me very happy to hear. Like I said I know it's subjective to where/what you experienced earlier in life.

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HuckleberryKnown9288@reddit

I suppose so, but I do agree on the grandparents point, hope they stay healthy and help with the kids for a long time 😄. Also everyone's so busy these days, and we can all get a break from those smartphones.
All the best

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FoppyRETURNS@reddit

No way, it's getting better and better. All the sacrifices of my 20s and 30s are paying off.

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camp_jacking_roy@reddit

Certainly, the world seems to be a worse place than it was in the 90s...but I'm doing OK. Seem to be on a good path career wise, have a good house in a good neighborhood, wonderful children, and generally feel pretty good. Wish I had more extended family but they decided drinking away their retirement was more important than their grandkids, so that's that pretty much. Sucks that my kids are going to grow with less rights and opportunities than their grandparents, but I'm sure Elon will let them work in the lithium mines if no one else volunteers.

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cashews_clay15@reddit

Big time. I had a great job, made good money for my age, it was affordable to live so the money went far, I was in great health, in shape, had a ton of friends and great social life.

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ForceGhost47@reddit

My life has gotten better and better

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Adventurous_Pin_344@reddit

Well, yes, but that's entirely because my MS started to progress in 2020/2021, and I'm now disabled.

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Carpedevus@reddit

It’s interesting. I think on the financial stand point I can understand the stance, but I’m in the best health of my life at 40, so I’ll take it. I’m not trying to be the parent that can’t own their kids in sports til they truly earn it 😂 also decidedly not an athlete but I can hold my own haha

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El_Daywalkerino@reddit

Yup....everyone who isn't wealthy feels this way tight now from our generation

My parents weren't wealthy but the lifestyle they lived and that they gave me and my siblings they'd need millions to afford today.

My parents bought a home in a nice suburb of Los Angeles (Arcadia) of all places in 1985 for around 170k!!😭. That home is probably worth 2 milly today...parents sold it in 1990 so didn't make out big lol

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Practical_Wind_1917@reddit

Life is what you make it.

if you feel you have peaked then that is all on you man.

Stop trying to live your live comparing it to everyone else. You do you, if you are unhappy with. Then it is time for a change. Life is too short to not be happy during it.

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locomuerto@reddit

In some respects, but I have a lot of things better than my dad had it growing up, and my son has a lot of things better than I had it. Just some examples, I didn't have to worry about getting jumped by a random neighborhood gang growing up like my dad did, and if my son gets concussed playing a contact sport he won't be expected to return to play a few minutes later like I did. My dad was crammed with 4 kids in a room, I had a bunk bed with my brother, and my son has his own room.

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spykedaddy@reddit

Every major life decision I’ve ever made has been the wrong one. Not sure if I’ve ever peaked. Certain that it won’t be getting much better.

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NoneOfThisMatters_XO@reddit

Society and the economy feels worse, but I do have more money in my 40s so there’s that.

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jamie535535@reddit

No. I feel like my financial security keeps increasing as the years go by. Neither of my parents made high salaries & always worked 2 jobs each so I’m not comparing myself to any kind of super great situation they had (though it was fine/comfortable growing up). They seem very comfortable financially now after working & saving for almost 50 years, much more so than when they were my age.

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Allureme@reddit

Focusing on what you don’t have or comparing to prior generations is pointless. If I did that, I’d be crying everyday. At my age, my dad already had his house paid off, was retired and finally got his GED. He’s now 68 and with his Jr high education lives in the same neighborhood as the superintendent of the school district he was a custodian

What’s the point of comparing? At some point in your life you have to stop focusing on what you have and not what you don’t have.

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Designer_Emu_6518@reddit

Idk if it peaked or everything we worked for and was left to us got packed up and moved but the time we got to the door…. I use to hoot and holler about this when I was younger, how there will be nothing for us by the time we get there. They called me crazy or liberal yet here we are….

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giraffemoo@reddit

My parents were shitty, my first husband was shitty, it took me a while to break free of that. I feel like I haven't even reached my peak yet, life keeps getting better!

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No-Gas5342@reddit

I had a good year in 2009, or at least part of it 😵‍💫

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bev665@reddit

I grew up with a single mom working her ass off to keep a roof over our heads. We didn't have vacations unless someone invited us to their cabin somewhere. No credit cards - if we needed to back to school shop at the thrift store, that's what we did. I remember getting my first pair of jeans in 7th grade when Mom got the "nice" job.

My mom grew up the daughter of a pastor who was a career navy chaplain. They were constantly moving and never had money, either.

I pinch myself every day that I have a good marriage, I own a home, and I don't have to do coin-operated laundry!

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AntiRepresentation@reddit

No. My life is better than ever.

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Icy-Repeat-2843@reddit

Everything right now is expensive as hell. I’m hoping things go back to how they were, but I’m not holding my breath.

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SmellTheRoses78@reddit

I'm 48 and on the verge of peaking. I'm in a much better place mentally and physically than I was in previous decades. My husband and I don't have kids and are buying a home this year. Things are more stable for me then they've ever been. I still have some work to do but I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel (and not in a "oh my god I'm dying" kind of way lol).

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PIG20@reddit

Maybe, not sure yet?

I just turned 47 and yes, I hurt a bit more doing things that didn't used to hurt. But nothing extreme.

However, I've lost close family members and some friends over the last 5+ years and it does make me start to question my mortality at this point in my life.

Like, there could be something brewing that I don't know about yet that will hit me out of the blue.

Which means I really need to start making more doctors visits for annual checkups.

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Brent_L@reddit

gif

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JumboThornton@reddit

Yeah.

Our income is the highest it’s ever been, but the economy is so bad that I feel like we can’t spend and need to save for retirement. I want to be traveling now before I get too old, but I have guilt spending money and worry about the future.

My spouse and I are both dealing with some minor health issues that are holding us back from some of the activities we used to love doing, and some of the things on the bucket list seem unattainable now.

My spouse and I both moved out of our parents’ houses before we even graduated high school, lived in apartments with friends on a part-time job income, were very independent. Our kids are teenagers now and should be excited to get out there on their own, but everything is so expensive they don’t even see it as a possibility for many years.

Makes me so sad.

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jackfaire@reddit

I feel like I got elected to be George Bailey and no one ever asked me what I wanted.

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Shington501@reddit

Like when I was young and single and being a ski bum with very little to worry about? Mentally 100%…. Financially/security no way

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kl1n60n3mp0r3r@reddit

No. Quality of life is starting to peak now. Currently 47, started around 45.

Now my wildest times, craziest adventures and some of my fondest memories are from my 20s…but it was all cheap and cheerful, I couldn’t afford “quality”.

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Basic_Magician7070@reddit

40s have been the most financially secure, but I still can’t afford a house in my area. Let alone any extravagance.

I’m not happier than I was in my 20s, but I’m less financially stressed.

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Appropriate-Food1757@reddit

Plan on peaking at about 60

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Geg@reddit

Life has sucked since Covid.

I will firmly put the blame on the cost of childcare, healthcare, and, food. Those three have just taken a huge chunk out of any discretionary spending we had pre-covid. The fix being tilting our work-life balance more towards work, which is just trading one problem for another.

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dominator5k@reddit

Life is better than it has ever been. Retiring in 8 years can't wait

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TheAngerMonkey@reddit

I'm hotter and cooler at 46 than I ever was in my 20s.

I hit a point a few years ago and was all "What do I even LIKE? What's FUN?" And I had a weirdly hard time coming up with an answer. So I started doing more stuff. I love live music, so I started going to whatever cheap shows were happening. I realized we'd stagnated socially so we moved to a bigger city where we knew people. I took a different job that paid less but gave me a huge amount of flexibility (I'm in med comms.)

All of this to say: the earlier poster who was like "doors are closing..." I think misses the fact that you CAN just... Do different things. And they don't necessarily require a huge investment of time or cash. It also helps that my partner and I don't have kids, so we ARE playing the game of life on easy mode. But also: I just exited 12 solid years of taking care of my aging parents, which was a full time job in and of itself.

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Suitable-Peanut@reddit

I'm peaking at 44. Not having kids has allowed my wife and I to buy a house, a car, live comfortably and take multiple international vacations every year.

I spent my life pretty frugal and learned from the mistakes of my parents. I have zero debt except for my mortgage. I just came back from a week in Aruba with friends I've known for 20-25 years.

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byte_handle@reddit

No. I'm from a rotten family, so anything is better. From non-material perspectives, I peaked in college. Materially, things get better and better in my 40s as time goes on.