What is a cultural norm in your current country that you initially found weird or annoying, but have now completely adopted?
Posted by Rough-Foundation9208@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 61 comments
When I first moved from to France, the sacred two-hour "pause déjeuner" was quite confusing. In the UK I was used to a quick 30 min lunch at my desk. Now, my French office and pretty much every local business were completely shut down between 12 and 2pm!
3 years later and I'm a convert. I’ve learned to fully disconnect, enjoy an actual hot meal, and do some reading. Lunch is now like a collective agreement that life shouldn't stop for productivity's sake.
Money_Revolution_967@reddit
Czechs blow their noses loudly and proudly. It's quite freeing and better than awkwardly wiping your nose quietly. But it was a shock when I first heard the trumpet-like noise on the tram.
Tawptuan@reddit
And in Japan, a nose blow violates the fabric of space, time and culture. Barbarism!
Cute-Kiwi9063@reddit
One pattern I've noticed across international teams: how long a baseline email greeting is varies wildly by culture. German colleagues open with full greetings and context before getting to the point - anything shorter reads as cold. UK and US emails skip straight to the question. Both feel rude to the other side until people adapt. The German version isn't formal stiffness, it's just baseline politeness.
Ilovescarlatti@reddit
In New Zealand I have had to learn to add a variation on "Hope you are well" to the beginnings of emails to people I know. I much prefer the English get to the point style though.
Cute-Kiwi9063@reddit
That NZ pattern fits the relational opener function - asking how someone is at the start of an email isn't really a question, it's a signal you're treating them as a person rather than a transaction. UK and US emails strip it because efficiency reads as respect there. Both work once everyone knows the local code.
Ilovescarlatti@reddit
I know but honestly I don't personally care when the relationship is actually only transactional. I don't want to waste time reading or writing it when I have 100 emails in my inbox. But I follow the rules!
Safe_Place8432@reddit
I warn people now when I start new jobs that I try to say hello and use formulas and stuff but that when I am in a rush I tend to default to my base Americanness and just get to the point and please don't take it bad when I am trying lol
Cute-Kiwi9063@reddit
Pre-warning is actually the cleaner play - most people try to imitate the local style and end up sounding stiff or fake. Telling people upfront that brevity is your default makes it read as a personal pattern instead of cold. The contract is explicit so nobody has to guess intent when you're rushing.
dallyan@reddit
That’s so funny I was just about to post about this in the Switzerland sub. Recently I’ve had to write more emails in German than normal and I’m so sick of all the formality when it’s a back and forth about something simple. If I’m writing five emails in reply to the same person in the same day, why do I have to do all that. I was going to ask- do people drop that level of formality in a corporate setting where all you do is email back and forth? Would it be rude if I do so? I almost think they might like it because it would signal that they can drop it too.
Cute-Kiwi9063@reddit
Yes, Germans drop formality progressively in same-day rapid email chains. Standard pattern: full Sehr geehrte/r in the first email, Hallo [Name] in reply, then no greeting at all by the third or fourth round. Closing the same way: Mit freundlichen Grüßen, then Viele Grüße, then just initial or nothing. Maintaining full formality in email number five reads stranger than dropping it.
The cue is what they do. If they reply with Hallo, you go to Hallo. If they drop greeting entirely, you follow. Match the lowest formality already in the chain. Your instinct is right - they'll probably appreciate it because they want to drop it too.
dallyan@reddit
They definitely do NOT drop it here in my experience. Maybe CH is different from Germany. There’s no hierarchical difference in my communications so I’m just going to do what you suggest and just start formal and work my way down.
Cute-Kiwi9063@reddit
Right, I missed that you're writing from Switzerland. Swiss formality works differently from German. Particularly in German-speaking Switzerland the Sie pronoun and full email structure persist even after multiple exchanges. The mechanism is different: Germans use formality as an introduction signal that gets dropped once peer relationship is established. Swiss formality survives because it's not a hierarchy marker, it functions as universal politeness baseline regardless of relationship depth. Your plan to start with formal greetings and ease down is the right call.
tktk77@reddit
It's interesting to read that Germans do something that is "warmer" than Americans. I would expect it to be the opposite, with Germans preferring shorter, more direct communication!
Do Germans in the professional sphere communicate orally as they do through writing?
Cute-Kiwi9063@reddit
German directness is about content, not form. The greeting structure is formal, then the content is unusually blunt - they'll tell you the deck is bad without softening. UK/US emails are the opposite: casual greeting, content padded with hedges (I was wondering, just a small thought). So Germans skip social cushioning in the content, Americans skip ritual in the frame. Different layers.
Oral matches in professional settings. Formal Guten Tag and small talk first, then to the point with very little buffering. The directness stereotype is true for the content, not the wrapper.
Darkus185@reddit
I transcribe research interviews in corporate America but I’m not American. I loathe how they speak.
“I’m really sorry but I was just super curious to circle back to where I super curiously double clicked”
Cute-Kiwi9063@reddit
The hedge density in that example is a pattern that grew with corporate liability culture. The more layered the management and the more risk-averse the HR environment, the more apology + intensifier sandwiches you get. Germans skip them because the cost of being slightly wrong is much lower in their professional culture. Americans add them because every sentence is a potential HR complaint if misread.
dallyan@reddit
Also, English is a language that doesn’t have a polite form so adding more words is one way we have to signal politeness whereas German speakers can skip right to the “Sie” form.
Reasonable-Ease9554@reddit
German in the US - i still can’t do the babble babble talk my fellow citizens do in the US. But to combat sounding rude i am just sticking to being direct and started to add a smiley. You would think in a leadership role that makes you look less serious, but it just balances out my germaness :)
Cute-Kiwi9063@reddit
Yeah, that's the linguistic layer underneath the cultural one. English compensates for lack of T-V distinction with verbal volume. Then corporate liability culture compounds it on top. Two systems stacking, not one.
dallyan@reddit
It’s not warmer. It’s just more words lol
FakePixieGirl@reddit
As a Dutch person, I've heard from Dutch people working within German companies that they really struggle with the politeness and hierarchy respect. Within the Netherlands hierarchy is quickly seen as something dirty, and although it of course exists, the upper management is expected to act respectful and accept unprompted feedback from every layer. In Germany this is much more unlikely, and as a lower employee you're expected to keep your mouth shut, or at the very least be very careful how you phrase things.
redditaccount760@reddit
Bank drive thru in the US. I used to think it was for the lazy ones; then I loved it ha
deep-sea-balloon@reddit
I don't get two hour lunch breaks and never have 🤣 I think it probably depends on the sector in France.
I used to hate when they compared France to every other country, no matter what. Now I find myself doing it 🫣
FinestTreesInDa7Seas@reddit
The idea of pause déjeuner seemed excessive to me when I originally moved to France.
I don't work, so it's not something that I benefit from. However, I can totally see how valued it is by working people, so I really love it.
Here's a list of things that took me time to adjust to in France:
Spiritual_Notice523@reddit
Putting ice in beer.
Eric848448@reddit
Where the hell do they do that?
meerjat@reddit
Most of non Muslim parts of Asia
Ikillwhatieat@reddit
Shoes off at the door in any residential setting that isn't a trailer in the woods. At first I was kind of like "you want what?" but realizing that the floor was fine to be barefoot on, if you leave exterior dirt/salt/etc on your outside shoes and don't wear them in. It was a "wow the standard of behaviour I grew up with is kinda gross now that I think of it" moment.
FakePixieGirl@reddit
I'm a person with very stinky/sweaty feet. I always wonder how a "a shoes off culture" handles that. In practice I guess I'd start to always wear an extra pair of socks wihh me.
blue_eyed_magic@reddit
Your feet will probably get better.
desibidesi0909@reddit
Efficiënt conversation (the Netherlands). The conversation style of my country of origin is to beat around the bush as much as possible hoping for the other person to understand the hints. It was quite uncomfortable being both on the receiving and giving end of "Dutch directness" but it was so liberating to say what you want, even in professional context (with a level of professionalism, obviously). Its nice to speak without having to polish your words.
shoalmuse@reddit
Denmark as well. It is great.
dsaddons@reddit
It's really helped me learn to set boundaries and shed a lot of my people pleasing tendencies. It's ok to put myself first when I want to, ain't no one else doing that for me.
1115955@reddit
Are you British by any chance? My British husband and his family drive me crazy with this! I'm constantly having to decipher what they actually mean.
"Have it bins been taken out?" = "Have you taken the bins out and if not can you please do it?"
"Any thoughts about dinner?" = "I'm starving and need food within the next 30 minutes"
"Did I see a bag?" = "I need that bag over there"
"Are you feeling cold?" = "I'm feeling cold!"
Ugh infuriating!
Darkus185@reddit
I hated this at the start. Now I can’t get enough of it. I can’t stand it in the UK having to double think every single word and how it might be taken.
ManACTIONFigureSUPER@reddit
Having a german wife is also peak for this. Straight to the point
someshooter@reddit
In that Michael Moore movie they show an Italian factory worker lunch and they all hang up their smocks, get in a car, drive to a person's house, and that person cooks pasta fresh, and they all eat it together, then go back to the "office." It blew my mind. Here in the US it's like "eat at your desk for 15 minutes, if you can."
dallyan@reddit
Giving my kid a lot of autonomy. I live in Switzerland and at first it was hard to let my kid walk to school and back alone as a 7 year old but I knew I had to adjust for his integration. Now he bikes to school and back and goes to soccer practice by himself, rides the tram and buses by himself, etc. He even rode 30km by bike with his friends to a nearby city. That last one I didn’t give permission to do but in the end they were fine. lol
This is a nice aspect of living here and I think it allows kids to have a sense of responsibility and maturity. Also just letting kids get dirty and messy. Where I’m from that’s a big no-no and I don’t see the harm in being in nature.
hy1990@reddit
About my 1st week here i asked a kid about 8 on the bus alone if he was ok or lost
djcobol@reddit
Sunday Ruhetag in Germany. I love waking up knowing I don't need to do anything today except enjoy life.
hy1990@reddit
Absolutely love this about Switzerland. It does mean planning a bit more, especially with public holidays too like this coming Monday. So much calmer though!
_Dip_@reddit
And you can’t do that on Saturday? Oh right because everything is closed on Sunday so you have to do all your shopping with the masses on Saturday. This doesn’t make any sense lol
Coneskater@reddit
Its glorious.
ManACTIONFigureSUPER@reddit
Monday Aldi is a nightmare. I forget every week
Flat_Cattle8744@reddit
Online shopping is great in Germany, no need
Top-Half7224@reddit
Blaming foreigners for everything.
I acknowledge the hypocrisy.
1115955@reddit
Isn't that the case everywhere?
Mr_Lumbergh@reddit
Lop off as much of a word as possible, stick a diminutive ending on, call it a day.
mountoon@reddit
Can you give an example?
Sporkalork@reddit
Afternoon = arvo
xenobiotica_jon@reddit
I will forever judge and dismiss people who refer to a vacation as their "vaycay." Not all people need to be serious people, but that there is the verbal equivalent of taking a piss in a corner of the office.. on your own shoe.
soffeshorts@reddit
How do you feel about « hols » for your holiday (aka vacation) instead? 😂
Sporkalork@reddit
Ah, I see you're the holibobs sort, aren't you.
tbassetto@reddit
Ah, funny, it’s the opposite for me. From France to Norway, I am fully adapted to a 20-minute lunch break and leaving work at 16:00 at the latest. If I want to socialize with colleagues, read, or disconnect, I have plenty of time to do it AFTER my 8 to 4. 😃
But yeah, at first, it was shocking, and I even stayed to work until at least 18:00 despite everyone else having left already…
RaySalsero1165@reddit
Germany, quiet Sundays; love them now.
BaronetheAnvil@reddit
Riding my scooter without a helmet and cockfighting /s. Guess where I live.
BrilliantUnlucky4592@reddit
No tipping
JFFreezout@reddit
Dutch dinner time at 18h latest. Impossible to have appetite so early in the beginning, today I really enjoy having long evenings to be busy and knowing that the dinner hassle is already done.
Cultural-Intel@reddit
Funny enough, mine was also food-related, but in Germany. I once sat through a dinner where the hosts proudly served horsemeat as a local specialty. Intellectually, I understood the cultural context completely. I appreciated the hospitality, knew it was meant warmly, genuinely wanted to be respectful. And my body still went “absolutely not.”
That experience weirdly changed how I think about cultural adaptation. Sometimes understanding something isn’t the same as being able to embody it comfortably. Some habits slowly become yours over time, like your French lunch example. Others never quite cross that final internal bridge.
SophieElectress@reddit
I'm curious about this - I was brought up vegetarian with the mindset that all meat was equally gross, and only started eating it from time to time as an adult. Horse meat and beef seem practically the same to me, both conceptually and in terms of taste. But I've noticed in many western cultures people are repulsed by the idea of eating horses, and I'm not sure why - is it because they're considered as closer to pets than farm animals in our culture? Or is it more that it's thought of as 'unclean' or poverty food?
Kunjunk@reddit
You've probably eaten horse meat mislabelled as beef without knowing it.