Did anyone else not realize how much bad sleep was affecting them until it improved?

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jonathing@reddit

I'm sitting here reading this on the train after another night of 5½ hours sleep wondering what it is not to be exhausted all of the time.

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that's what I thought lol. Some nights, I swear to God It feels like i'm fighting to get to sleep until it "wakeup time" and I feel like I had maybe 3 'spells' of 40 mins each. The rest of the night was changing positions and just 'trying' to nod off lol

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PinkyOutYo@reddit

As a lifelong insomniac who only sleeps now because I'm on meds that have a sedative side effect, the 25 minutes on the train to work was some of the best sleep I've ever had. I'll do your commute for you, you just teleport when you wake up.

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PolskaLFC93@reddit

What meds are they if you don’t mind me asking, and what it the primary reason for use?

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PinkyOutYo@reddit

Mirtazapine, as an antidepressant. First time I was on it, it was an absolute silver bullet alongside other medications for other psychiatric issues. This is the third or maybe fourth time I've been on it. It was an absolute bitch the first time, adjusting to all the side effects, and I know a good few people who tried it and couldn't stick with it for more than a couple of months because of them. For me, I've had to learn to cope with the side effects because it in conjunction with others (and therapy) is the only thing that works well enough.

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Regular-Economist498@reddit

As someone who used to be like you and had a baby who doesn’t sleep, I’m now on 3-4 hours of broken sleep a night and have been for 2.5 years

As much as it could always be better take solace that it could also be worse 😂

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King0llie@reddit

Same here bro, except he’s only 2.

I’ve aged about 10 years in this time. Thanks son

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jonathing@reddit

Don't tell me that, if my brain finds out that there a new low to sink to, it'll find a way to do it.

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Eisenhorn_UK@reddit

Er... just asking for the sake of safety; you're not the train driver, are you...?

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CdotHYT@reddit

Worse. He's the train itself.

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ItAintNoUse@reddit

This gave me a good chuckle

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jonathing@reddit

At this point I could discover that I was and I wouldn't be surprised

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Glittering_Peach_815@reddit

Wow! 5:30 hours sounds great. I'll take that anyday.

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Caveman1214@reddit

Realise and realising

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teekay61@reddit

Reading a book at night rather than my phone has made a big difference to sleep quality, along with a sleep supplement from Holland and Barrett

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HexaDecio@reddit

I have had sleep studies last year to determine the cause of my poor sleep quality. I also have a long history of adult sleepwalking and confusional arousals

I was expecting sleep apnoea, but my breathing in the night was in line with normal range - I was still having some apnoeas but very short and not enough to meet diagnostic criteria.

It was then determined that I suffer from silent reflux in the night which were causing a lot of the issues, and ultimately, poor sleep quality. I have been on omeprazole for it and it really has helped. I still have some shit nights, but my sleep quality has improved massively overall.

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alexbarrett@reddit

I have suspicions along this line. How did you determine that silent reflux was causing your insomnia? And are you taking PPIs long-term now?

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HexaDecio@reddit

It wasn’t causing insomnia as such. It was causing me to effectively wake up for a few seconds in the night without me being aware - which then resulted in poor sleep quality/being very tired in the day.

Reflux is the second leading cause of sleep disturbance and fatigue. Whenever I would go to bed, I could feel heartburn starting, prompting a trial of PPIs. It never before occurred to me that this was ‘reflux’.

GP’s are very tricky, especially now as the criteria for specialist referral is so high. The thing that concerned them was my confusional arousals. For example, I was sleepwalking - on some nights two or three times - a lot of sleep talking and complex function. This prompted a referral.

If it were for reflux they may try referring you to gastro clinic; I’m surprised they haven’t referred you to a sleep clinic as apnoeas are quite easy to rule out.

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alexbarrett@reddit

I'm a bit annoyed by my GP, yeah. I've asked multiple times but they've been reluctant to do the referral. Maybe it's because I'm not overweight, smoking, or a heavy drinker.

Your sleep walking and confusional arousals sound like quite severe symptoms, hopefully you've got those under control now?

May I ask, when you had your sleep study, did it flag up anything related to the reflux, or was it solely looking for apnea? I don't even get heartburn as a symptom so it's very very 'silent'.

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Adanar01@reddit

I'm in the process currently of trying to get this sorted.

I've been to a sleep clinic and told I don't have sleep apneoa, but I might need some mouth splint, and possibly have restless leg syndrome. Problem is restless leg syndrome seems to come and go so when I went back to the doctor I present no symptoms this time.

I am currently stuck sleeping nearly 9 hours a night and waking up feeling like I haven't slept at all.

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anabundanceofotters@reddit

Wait, you guys are getting good sleep?

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martyrees76@reddit

You guys are getting sleep?

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JustAnotherFEDev@reddit

What is this 'sleep' you all talk of?

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Fragrant-Attorney-73@reddit

I’m not yet at the improvement stage

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OddStep5408@reddit

Me neither

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herefromthere@reddit

I get one good night of sleep and then the next night it's 5am and I'm not asleep yet, just staring at the ceiling in my dark, quiet comfortable room while my brain won't sit down and shut up.

I think I slept 1am to 9am the night before last, and 5.15 to 9.30 and woke really really groggy. Still groggy now four hours later.

My house is a mess, I'm struggling a bit at work, I keep forgetting to take my medication and I need to go to the dentist.

FML.

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cdh79@reddit

Same

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Snoo-84389@reddit

Same...

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Worldly_Wafer_6635@reddit

Same...

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Electronic-Country63@reddit

Ugh same. I spent months in hospital last year and my sleep never recovered. When I came out I was out on TPN, intravenous feeding so i had to keep waking up for a wee and because it messes around with your blood glucose.

I’m still not able to sleep through the night and wake up for a couple of hours each night.

Used to sleep like a log!

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TheDawiWhisperer@reddit

i can't help with the question but i'm looking for an answer as my sleep pattern atm is horrendous.

getting to sleep isn't a problem but staying asleep is. i'd like to go to bed at 10pm and get an early night but i'll invariably wake up 40 mins later and be up for an hour, rinse and repeat until 3 or 4 am until i finally nod off until a "proper" slumber

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GainsAndPastries@reddit

I knew i wasn’t getting enough sleep when i kept drifting off whilst driving to work, it’s a very scary warning

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King0llie@reddit

This is me with an 18 month old and a 1h drive commute each morning. Living life on the edge

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jakeinthesky@reddit

I take melatonin every night and still don't wake up feeling refreshed.

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hungryhippo53@reddit

I take 10mg and I still wake up at 3am every night

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heartpassenger@reddit

That’s too much. With melatonin the more you take the less it works ironically. You only need a really small dose (under 2mg)

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hungryhippo53@reddit

It’s within the BNF dosing limits

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heartpassenger@reddit

It is but it’s not optimal. Try taking less

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BeardedW4rrior@reddit

Try magnesium and ashwaganda supplements

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TheGoose995@reddit

I don’t think it improves quality of sleep does it? It just helps you feel sleepy in the evening so it’s easier to fall asleep. Also - I don’t think you’re meant to take it every night

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IRS-BOT@reddit

I have to take 1 every night, I don't but I am meant to lol. I take it for cluster headaches.

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jakeinthesky@reddit

I am supposed to take it every night. It has improved my sleep in the sense that I am getting some sleep now, whereas without it I dont sleep well at all. I also have M.E/CFS so I don't think anything can make me feel refreshed.

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GeorgiePorgiePuddin@reddit

Melatonin makes me feel awful if I take too much. How many milligrams are yours?

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jakeinthesky@reddit

They're only 2mg.

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Teamwoolf@reddit

Oof that would still fuck me up though. Sounds silly but try NOT taking it for a bit and see if you feel better when you wake up?

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jakeinthesky@reddit

I came off it for a while towards the end of last year but while I was off it I slept very little.

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cliffybyro90@reddit

Currently awaiting a sleep apnea diagnosis and I have extremely high hopes for that first CPAP sleep. For reference, I am mid-30s, don't have good quality sleep and no matter how "well" I think I've slept, I feel constantly drained and fatigued.

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subcommunitiesonly@reddit

My fiancée and I just wrapped up a holiday in Spain. We slept horribly until the last night, absolutely knackered for the whole holiday. Thankfully Spanish nightlife runs late, but we really struggled to get the energy for anything during the day.

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Greatgrowler@reddit

I worked nights for a few years and the weekends were hard because it was basically like being jet-lagged. When I went away on holiday after two or three days I would full wake-up. I work a Monday to Friday day job now but my sleep routine is still poor.

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eraserway@reddit

My lifelong sleep issues are mostly resolved now, largely thanks to some meds I started. The past two weeks I was without those meds and my god I was MISERABLE. It's shocking to think that that's how I was every single day for years of my life, I have no idea how I functioned.

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

For me it was 'fixed' by starting adhd medication

I'd had pretty bad fatigue and insomnia issues and those have mostly gone away now and I would say most of the time I do generally feel somewhat rested when I wake up

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revolut1onname@reddit

I have severe sleep apnea, before it was treated I couldn't even finish conversations without falling asleep. I was a genuine danger to people, at points I couldn't even be left alone with my son.

When I did my sleep study, the results were so bad that they changed the priority of my treatment. The AHI number is a diagnostic scale used to measure the severity of sleep apnea which essentially counts the number of times you stop breathing or breathe shallowly per hour. The scale is as follows -

Normal: Fewer than 5 events per hour.

Mild: 5 to 14

Moderate: 15 to 29

Severe: 30 or more

I scored 111. The first night I slept with a CPAP I had a mask that didn't fit and it felt like it took me ages to get to sleep. I then slept for 15 hours wearing it, and bounced out of bed with more energy than I'd had in months. Sleep makes such a difference.

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TopBookChat1105@reddit

I jest. But kids getting older… or at least that’s what I’m hoping will improve my sleep.

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Glittering_Peach_815@reddit

That's what I thought, but it didn't.

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regulate91x@reddit

Same... I haven't slept for 3 years. Got accelerated grey hair from it at the least!

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TermAggravating8043@reddit

Same, youngest will not sleep alone and the older one still randomly gets up in the middle of the night

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Defiant-Table-9131@reddit

I haven't slept through the night in 3 and a half years. The 3.5 year old only stopped waking up at least once a night in December, but by then there was a new baby to take over for him. Im really hoping that the 6 month old will figure out sleep quicker than his brother did, currently it's every 2 hours.

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Hamsternoir@reddit

I wish that had happened to me.

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meg147@reddit

Best way to practice sleep hygiene is to be consistent. Don’t do anything strenuous for at least 3 hours before you go to bed. Go to bed at same time and rise consistently, even if you lie awake, if you’re getting up at 6am each day, eventually your body will learn to sleep earlier. Eat & exercise reasonably. Sleep is important for recovery, decision making, focus and even losing weight. The brain reboots and the body recovers during sleep, so put off major decisions until ‘you’ve slept on it’! Of course, I appreciate this is not always possible for those in pain or turmoil, we just have to do the best we can.

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Randa08@reddit

Finally an excuse for people saying I need to find time for the gym. I can't no strenuous activity before bed!

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Glittering_Peach_815@reddit

Going to gym when you are already tired can lead to accidents and will not help you with benefits of gym, because sleep is what repairs your body that is broken at the gym through exercise.

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jelly_crayon@reddit

When I went to a sleep clinic they said that if your are not asleep within 20 minutes of going to bed then it's best to get up and do something for a bit before returning to bed. The idea being that if you spend a lot of time awake in bed then you associate the bed with being awake. On that same vein they recommend only using the bed for sleep.

Consistently getting up at the right time was up there. They actually recommended to practice waking up. So set your alarm for 2 minutes time, get in bed and then get out of bed when you hear your alarm go off. Practice that a bit and soon you'll be up and dressed in the morning before you're fully aware.

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giganticturnip@reddit

What about if you always wake up 2 hours before your alarm?

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pondlife78@reddit

Just anecdotal but: get up, go for a wee and come back to bed. If you don’t immediately feel sleepy options are read a book (least effective) listen to a radio program (medium effective) or count to 600 slowly (effective but annoying when interrupted).

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mx_sidequest0@reddit (OP)

The “leave the bed if you can’t sleep” advice always sounded counterproductive to me at first, but apparently a lot of sleep specialists recommend it for exactly that reason. Crazy how your brain can accidentally start associating your bed with stress/frustration instead of actually sleeping.

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AliBelle1@reddit

Another factor that helps me with regards to sleep hygiene is that my bedroom is exclusively for sleep and storage. I don't spend any leisure time in there, don't watch TV, dont use my phone, don't eat, nothing. The only thing besides the bed is some wardrobes and drawers.

This has made it so the second I get into my room and into bed I'm already half asleep.

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AutisticTumourGirl@reddit

Yeah, getting ill and needing a profiling bed has destroyed my sleep even more than it was. Some days I have so much pain I don't leave the bed at all except to go to the toilet. Other days, if I've been busy around the house and my pain flairs up, I have to lie in my bed because raising the foot of the bed all the way and the head slightly puts me in a position that takes all the pressure off the bottom of my spine.

I really hate it because I have a telly, books, several knitting projects, etc in my room because of it.

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J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A@reddit

If you want to see how bad your sleep is, get a camera with motion detection to see how much you toss and turn.

I've had one for a few months and it's really opened my eyes to how bad my sleep actually is.

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Glittering_Peach_815@reddit

I am with you my friend (hope you don't mind me saying this). I have been living with Insomnia for 15+ years. I don't know what normal sleep looks like.
Not only that, but I have followed every sleep advice ever written.
I have over 20 books paperback/audio that I have read and followed religiously/rigorously. Nothing helped.
Just stop trying to fix it, that itself will help.

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Spider-Thwip@reddit

Don't eat before bed was a really big one for me.

The difference between going to bed slightly hungry and going to bed full are huge.

I slept so much better when I was slightly hungry, it also meant getting up in the morning was way easier.

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lorl3ss@reddit

How exactly do you sleep better though? Yesterday I was putting my 14 month old to sleep at 6:30 and was so exhausted I just took them to bed with me (teething, they won't sleep on their own at the moment) and slept from about 7pm to 7am with an hourish wake at 3am for the little one to wriggle and writhe for a bit.

I still woke up tired and exhausted, I'm two coffees into my morning and considering a third.

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DarkStarComics333@reddit

I've had terrible sleep for about 30 years. It's horrific. I've tried everything. CBT for insomnia helped a bit (cut the time it takes me to fall asleep from 1-3 hours to about half an hour) but since I'm a shift worker 90% of what they were telling me was unusable. I only became a shift worker 11 years ago because my sleep was so shite anyway I figured I may as well get paid better money for feeling awful.

Recently I've had a change in circumstances and I'm back to working more regular hours for the time being. I've practiced good sleep hygiene for 3 months now (specifically the stuff about going to bed and waking up at the same time every day) and I feel worse than ever.

Can't take sleeping tablets because of the nature of my role, melatonin did nothing for me. I just take each day as it comes.

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Merbels@reddit

I would love regular sleep but I can start work at either 4am, 5am, 7am, 10am, 12pm or 2pm on any given day 😭 I also run my business after work

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Redditboyy_@reddit

Used to happen with me when I stayed up late at night and wake up early for my classes. One day I accidentally overslept and suddenly felt a lot of difference, a legit lifetime experience. My sleep schedule improved a lot after that

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BiscuitCrumbsInBed@reddit

I've always had iffy sleeping patterns and often go for a couple of days only sleeping a few hours. But i'm currently reducing my intake of a certain medication and I am frazzled! Its known to cause insomnia when dropping the doses and I've only been taking it maybe 5mth. I'd hate to think how bad it would be if had been taking for any longer.

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pokaprophet@reddit

I’ve been off my work with an injury for 2 months now and the difference the extra sleep has made has been noticeable but not incredible. Usually averaged 5-6 hours before and was able to function normally. Now getting 8hr+ and it’s definitely nice not having to wake early or set an alarm but I feel much the same alertness during the day.

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Gloomy_Custard_3914@reddit

Yes. I got divorced recently and I am finally able to rest and actually wake up refreshed. Life has immediately improved

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cadex@reddit

I recently went from living alone (after divorce) to moving in with my partner and I am able to actually get to bed on time, sleep well, and life has immediately improved.

Living alone I would lay on the couch watching TV/films or playing games until about midnight, pass out on the couch, wake up at 3am and drag myself to bed for the last 3 hours before getting up for work. Everything suffered.

After moving in with my partner I adopted her sleep routine. In bed for 9, read for half an hour or until I feel myself drifting off then asleep before 10.

Getting so much more solid sleep has improved my mental health, my performance at work and my relationship with my son and partner. It's been a fucking revelation. I just never had the self discipline to do it when I lived alone.

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lonehorizons@reddit

This is great for you but I don’t see how I could ever be in bed by 9. 9 is when I finish doing the washing up while my wife puts our two year old to bed, so I’ve had no free time all day up to that point, including on weekends.

Did you give up all your hobbies or something? I need some time on my own each day or I get depressed.

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cadex@reddit

I can tell you that when I had a 2 year old I was not getting as much sleep either so don't take my current situation as a standard you'll soon be able to adopt. I was 27 when my son was 2 and living with my then wife and we clawed back free time by staying up later after putting him to bed. I'm 41 now, divorced from the mother of my child and he's 15 now and stays with us half the time. We still get to bed between 9 and 10 when he's with us and other than dinner time and helping with homework I have time for hobbies and getting on with life. My partner's son is in his 20s and moved out so when my son is with his mum it's just the two of us. We get to spend alot of time doing things together and our own hobbies on our own.

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lonehorizons@reddit

That makes me feel a lot better actually, thanks :)

Glad things have worked out well for you in the end.

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musicisanightmare@reddit

These are the best ways I’ve figured out so far: - sleeping separately from your partner (if you can’t have separate rooms, then separate beds. I’m serious, this saves marriages) - mattress that suits your individual sleeping style (there’s a good IKEA quiz for this) - blackout curtains - eye mask and earplugs - temperature-appropriate duvet

I’ve found that if you are going to have screen time before bed, it can be okay if you just make sure to only consume pleasant relaxing content (e.g., cat videos, cooking videos).

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Traditional_Map3571@reddit

One thing I'd suggest lots of people do is stop using multiple alarms that they snooze through.

They make you feel more tired and make it harder to get up. It's been studied loads yet people insist on doing it.

If you are having trouble sleeping then set your alarm to the latest possible time you can get up and actually do it.

Biggest improvement for me was switching to a fleecey throw instead of a duvet and realised immediately that duvets make me too hot in bed pretty much all year round. Plus they are way easier to wash and make the bed with lol.

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thatPingu@reddit

I got a Garmin watch for my birthday last month. It tracks alot of things, but sleep is the one that is interesting for me.

I'm not sure if its just knowing how much sleep it had the previous night, or what, but I do feel better on days with a higher "sleep score" and the insights seem to help me understand what my body needs more than just thinking "I'm tired, maybe I'll go to bed earlier tonight" but not actually doing anything about it.

Also making a conscious effort to roll down my black out blinds, and buying new pillowing recently, which have been a god send.

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Under_Pressure_123@reddit

This is so true. I went through a bad burnout (at work) and I think part of it was because I wasn't taking care of my sleep. There's a clear, night -and-day difference in how I will approach the same day if I've had 5 hours or sleep or 7 hours of sleep. In one case, I'll wake up stressed, irritable, sense of dread and knot in my stomach. In the other, I'm calm, feeling like I'm going to go to work and make a plan.

I have blackout curtains, that's a basic. For the past year or so I've been complimenting this with a high quality eye mask and it's a game changer. I'm also a fairly light sleeper especially at the end of the night where it feels like my body is on edge waiting for the alarm to ring - now I wear earplugs every night and the quality of my sleep is SO MUCH BETTER.

I try to plan to go to bed on time to get enough sleep, including one hour without screens before bedtime - I'm a bit bad at this at the moment as I'm addicted to my phone and need to reign it in!

I started taking magnesium about 6 months ago and I feel it has had a real positive effect on the quality of my sleep so will carry on taking it.

So to summarise: blackout curtains, eye mask, ear plugs, magnesium, and no screens before bed. Oh and a sunrise alarm - I love it and haven't had to hear my alarm more than a handful of time in the past year.

It sounds like a lot but really it isn't, it's all really easy to implement and doesn't require loads of planning.

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Away_Shirt_5888@reddit

may I ask what magnesium supplement you take?

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Under_Pressure_123@reddit

Nutrition Geeks Magnesium Glycinate 3-in-1. I take 2 every night. They're massive though :D

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Antique-Dragonfly-73@reddit

The nutrition geeks ones work best for me too. Also like their vitamin d supplements although the pouch managed to open itself in my bag so now my work bag is filled with vitamin d pills 😞

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Away_Shirt_5888@reddit

Thank you!

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mx_sidequest0@reddit (OP)

The “sense of dread and knot in your stomach” part after bad sleep is way too real. It’s crazy how the exact same problems in life can suddenly feel 10x harder just because you slept badly the night before.

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teedeetee999@reddit

Yes to all the above! I also like a weighted blanket, they aren't for everyone though - me and my son find them really relaxing but my husband feels like he's being pinned down and cant take to it!

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LevelFish7771@reddit

I will also throw in something that people may not realise. ALCOHOL.

Any amount of alcohol can affect your REM sleep. You may well knock out and sleep for hours but it won't be high quality sleep.

Being sober is a key part of having that "fresh" feeling when you wake up.

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gxb20@reddit

I haven’t had a full nights sleep for around 3 1/2 years now (2 kids), i didn’t sleep great before but at the moment I’ve got scrambled eggs for brains. Hopefully the little one is going to start sleeping through the night soon

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ComfortableSpot6760@reddit

Scrambled eggs! That’s exactly what it’s like… I’m looking forward to when he starts school so I can come back home and nap uninterrupted… 4 years to go 😆

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gxb20@reddit

Hahahaha stay strong! Tbf my 3 year old sleeps really well but my 1 year old is doing american style torture to me

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unicornvega@reddit

Ear plugs, sleep mask, comforting night perfume oil on wrists. I have adhd so going to sleep is boring so I usually read until I’m tired. Of course that can be rather late.

In emergencies I used magnesium spray on my feet (gives me a funny tummy).

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elaine4queen@reddit

Magnesium citrate will do that, but glycinate shouldn’t

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unicornvega@reddit

Tbh anything sets my tummy off- I have endo and unless I just eat potatoes waffles it huffs about anything I eat

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elaine4queen@reddit

I have chronic migraine and a history of endo (beyond menstruation now, thank God) and a dx of fibromyalgia, which is almost useless. I was diagnosed autistic very late and that sent me down an EDS rabbit hole. What I’ve been doing for the past year is dancing around keto. I wanted to get inflammation down and the initial hard reduction of sugar and carbs did that really well, but an unexpected outcome has been that it makes for a sustainable exclusion diet. I can eat a basic diet and try reintroducing things, even repeatedly. I’m discovering that I have sensitivity to a lot of foods. Bread was the biggest one, for me.

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RetiredFromIT@reddit

25 years ago, I was diagnosed with sleep apnoea, which drastically affects the quantity and quality of sleep you are getting.

But for about 5 years before that, I think I was suffering, but hadn't realised it. Only after getting good sleep at last, did it become clear.

And I only became aware of my problem, when I sold my flat and relocated. I moved into my mum's spare room for a few months, while I house-hunted, and she mentioned how noisy and alarming my breathing was when I slept, AND how, in the evening, I could dose off mid-conversation.

25 years later, I use a CPAP and sleep much better. However, aside from the sleep apnoea, I also keep my bedroom curtains closed. Not pitch black, but no bright light, either

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mx_sidequest0@reddit (OP)

It’s kinda terrifying how many people live with sleep apnoea for years thinking they’re just “bad sleepers” or naturally tired all the time. Then once they finally get proper sleep they realise how badly it was affecting literally every part of life.

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Neko-gao@reddit

Assuming you get along with it cannabis edibles preferably home made, golden sleep but no dreams.

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GourdOfTheFlies@reddit

I've only had two good night's of sleep in 44 years. I'm so envious of people who can actually sleep. You're so lucky to be able to function properly. Poor sleep is likely the source of many people's depression, low mood and underachievement in life.

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Flapparachi@reddit

I’m a chronic poor sleeper (health problems when I was younger) but the plus side now is I don’t need a huge amount of sleep to feel well-rested. I still get runs of poor sleep but generally just try not to worry about them and know it will pass.

Lifestyle changes worked for me. Minimising my alcohol intake and running regularly helps immensely, and I try to go to bed at roughly the same time every night. If I’m not tired, I’ll read for a bit. The idea is more to be in bed and resting rather than forcing myself to sleep. I’ve also found that no screens 30-60mins before bed is helpful too.

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mx_sidequest0@reddit (OP)

It’s kinda reassuring hearing from people who’ve dealt with poor sleep long term and still ended up okay honestly. Also the “don’t force yourself to sleep” thing is something I’m slowly realising too , stressing about not sleeping somehow makes it even worse.

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Flapparachi@reddit

Exactly. I used to get panicky knowing I was going into a run of interrupted sleep, and I was making things worse for myself.

I’ve tried everything over the years, and it really is a case of finding what works for you individually. In most cases though, it’s a combination of small things and getting into a routine that brings improvement, and it’s not always linear.

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ComfortableSpot6760@reddit

It was having a baby! I don’t realise how tired I am until I need to leave the house and converse with people that I realise how sleep deprived and brain foggy I am

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CR0SBO@reddit

Lived for years with too little sleep. Less than 2 hours a night wasn't unusual for me. I remember reasoning that, "If I'm going to get less than 90min, then it's not worth it and I'll just stay up the whole night."

I was miserable. I knew I needed more, and that crashing on weekends wasn't a viable strat, but it's what I did for years, and is likely a large part of why I struggled with school & uni.

I got better, and now don't feel right unless I've had 7-8hrs. I struggle with a lack of not feeling tired, so try to keep to a 23:30 bed time, or else I'll screw myself over without noticing

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mx_sidequest0@reddit (OP)

The part about not even noticing you’re ruining yourself from lack of sleep until years later is honestly the scary part. Your brain adapts to feeling exhausted so slowly that it just starts becoming your “normal.”

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CR0SBO@reddit

It's bad juju

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Difficult_Egg_4350@reddit

Not until Covid lock downs when I stopped commuting every day did I realise how permanently exhausted I actually was. I now have a small child so no chance of catching up on my sleep debt.

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mx_sidequest0@reddit (OP)

I think lockdowns accidentally made a lot of people realise how exhausted they actually were from constant commuting and running on autopilot all the time. It’s kinda depressing how “normal” being permanently tired became for so many people.

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you_aint_seen_me-@reddit

Yes, and no. 20+ years of sleeping between three and four hours a night, every night. It was fine, as I felt 'fine' and managed to get a lot done.

A few years back, my sleep pattern has improved, in so much that I now regularly sleep for between six and seven hours, sometimes as many as nine!

Yea, I'm older now and not as resilient to a bad night's sleep, but the difference is literally night and day.

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mx_sidequest0@reddit (OP)

The scary thing is how many people think they’re functioning “fine” on terrible sleep until they finally start sleeping properly again and realise how exhausted they actually were the whole time.

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Inside_Bowler_2511@reddit

yeah its same for everyone, with healthy sleep you feel good and with late sleep you feel bad

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bettyboo5@reddit

I'll never get there. I can count on one hand the days I've felt refreshed after sleeping, since I had glandular fever at 13, in now 46!

I also suffer with chronic insomnia and fibromyalgia and I think I'm perimenopausal so sleeping is getting worse, like 3 hrs at night. Yay.

Trying to loose weight and being tired I make poor decisions 😕

So glad your feeling better. Sleep is so important

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ldnsrrow@reddit

Having young kids means I haven't slept properly in years.

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Curious-Anywhere8567@reddit

I consistently sleep 8-9 hours a night (no wake ups) and on the occasions I have a late night or can’t sleep and I have to get up on 4/5 hours of sleep I feel horrific. I honestly don’t understand how people do it.

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_isolati0n@reddit

Don't have kids

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joehighlord@reddit

Giving myself the opportunity for 8 hours of sleep improved every single aspect of my life.

Every single thing.

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RoutineAbroad3486@reddit

How exactly can you improve sleep? Because whether I sleep for 10 hours or for 3 I still wake up zombified. I’m aware it’s probably more the quality than the quantity but I genuinely somehow feel better after hardly any sleep 😅

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Holli303@reddit

I started going to the gym last May. Just swimming. I was 17.8 stone (5'0") and found out I needed surgery. I needed to lose a load of weight to be safe under anaesthetic. I was also struggling to fit behind the wheel of my car. Every night, I woke up with backache. I couldn't breathe properly. I had asthma and sleep apnoea.

I now do around 20 gym classes per week, ranging from Pilates to HIIT classes like Tabata/circuit training. I'm now under 11 stone. I don't need an inhaler. I have more energy. I can move again. My only regret is that I didn't find the gym sooner. Now my only concern is buying more Epsom salts and making sure my diet works alongside my gym schedule. Now, when I gain weight, I still go down a clothes size.

(Enter deity, or don't) bless my instructors. I'm now training to earn certifications in gym instruction, PT, sports nutrition, and strength and conditioning. I never imagined that I'd want to do that with my life. Shit last year I was a XXXL🤣 I sleep like the dead.

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Talking_Gibberish@reddit

Revenge sleep procrastination was my problem. Started going to bed at 10-11 instead of 1-2 and pow, new man. I do take magnesium glycinate before bed to help with sleep now though.

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Br4ddersButReddit@reddit

+1 for magnesium. I tried a lot before going the supplement route, £2k mattresses, a dozen different pillows, duvets, bedding, screen time, routine etc.

I can now fall asleep for 6hrs+ without interruption or even hearing my wife get out of bed.

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cheandbis@reddit

I was diagnosed with sleep apnoea about 7 years ago. I hadn't realised how little I was sleeping until I got my CPAP machine and discovered what a proper night's sleep felt like. It was a game changer.

Sleep makes so much difference and shouldn't be underestimated. I've recently been told I no longer have aleep apnoea and I couldn't be happier.

As for other things that help, my best advice is not to scrimp. Better pillows for example can cost 10x that of a basic one but are so much better. Get a mattress that suits your sleep style (Dreams have a machine that measures you which gives recommendations). As with most things in life, throwing money at it can be a good solution.

Good luck.

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Puzzled-Job9556@reddit

Zolpidem

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ChelseaMourning@reddit

I hate that shit with all my heart

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mward_shalamalam@reddit

Can’t beat a bit of ambien.

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SnooHesitations6727@reddit

I got one of those Oura rings and the sleep tracking has been pretty transformative. Long story short, I now get to bed 10-1030pm latest and get up at 730 or earlier which I now often do. That extra hour or twos sleep was absolutely not worth the trade off for an extra episode of whatever I’m watching. I actually have never felt rested after sleep but I 100% feel a lot less shitty now with less migraines.

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Obvious-Water569@reddit

I was about 3 stone overweight and eating/drinking like shit. As a result, I needed to use a CPAP machine so I didn't just stop breathing in the night. Before the CPAP I would wake up feeling hungover every day.

That helped a lot, but at the start of this year I got my shit together and have lost the weight. I no longer drink any soft drinks, have cut my alcohol consumption down to a couple of drinks a week and walk a minimum of 2 miles a day.

Since doing that, I no longer need the CPAP machine and can actually get a restful night's sleep. Now my sleep has improved, the biggest benefit I notice is my energy level throughout the day. It's consistent now whereas before I'd peak about 10-11am and then crash and burn in the afternoon.

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mx_sidequest0@reddit (OP)

the “waking up feeling hungover every day” part is what scares me about bad sleep because people don’t realise how much it slowly wrecks your energy and mood long term. Respect for turning things around though, that’s genuinely impressive

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Forsaken_Bee3717@reddit

I only drink two coffees in the morning, then nothing with caffeine in. Go to bed at roughly the same time- 10.30-11pm. Don’t drink much alcohol, exercise regularly. Bedroom is fairly cool, and window is slightly open all year unless it’s really really cold.

I don’t have blinds or curtains as I feel like my circadian rhythm is pretty good and I do wake up a bit earlier in the summer.

Honestly, these are all things I just like- I can sleep almost anywhere. I have served my time getting up with a baby at 3am as well, but was incredibly lucky as she would just wake up for food and then go straight back down.

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undercovergloss@reddit

I’m a single parent to an autistic son who sleeps at about midnight and we’re up at 5.30/6am each day. I’m also disabled (with chronic pain) so by the time I get to sleep - Im living off about 4 hours max sleep each night.

I remember having the opportunity to catch up on sleep and I ended up sleeping like 17 hours straight unintentionally. I felt incredible, like a cloud was no longer around me, I just felt happier, lighter. This is why I think so many of us suffer with poor mental health - because lack of sleep is severely impacting our mood.

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RuaRuaRua81@reddit

I will let you know when my sleep improves...

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elaine4queen@reddit

I do a bunch of things for sleep hygiene but I have pain in the night and fatigue during the day so I am always looking for something to make a significant difference. I recently started taking Daridorexant which isn’t a benzo or a z drug. I am not quite Lazarus, but it’s a definite improvement

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Sugarlips_80@reddit

Absolutely, following a break up i had over 12 months of horrific sleep. Multiple wake ups, mind racing, stress nightmares multiple times a night. I already have chronic pain that can effect sleep and due to the stress that also flared up.

Out of shear desperation I started taking magnesium at night thinking it wouldn't do much but it was life changing. I still wake up with pain regularly but I now go back to sleep straight away, instead of staying awake for hours. Same with the nightmares (which have calmed down an only start up again when I am stressed). I get to sleep quicker, sleep deeper and wake feeling rested 5/6 days out of 7.

Never going to be a perfect week due to my pain but I would not stop the magnesium now, 2yrs later and it still works just as well. Has to be that as no other changes have been made and my sleep hygiene prior to the break up and during was good.

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SteamZ90@reddit

Biggest thing I noticed is paying good money for a mattress and looking around at them. Tried the in store mattress thing they tell you what firmness you need. Think its complete bs as it said firm and I get a bad back with firm. Switched to a super soft and havent looked back. It's like sleeping on a cloud.

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freemyoiseau@reddit

Meeting my husband... he loves an early night and I'm an night owl. He convinced me to go to bed by 9 which is really early but it made such an improvement in my mental and physical health.

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Sponkadonk@reddit

I went through a few months of not using my phone for a couple hours before bed and I could really see a difference.. and I’m someone who never feels rested or sleeps well ever but during that time I did feel an improvement in initially getting to sleep

I’m trying to get back to that but going through a huge bout of depression so it’s a bit of a mess right now but I definitely recommend trying it

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crackerlackers@reddit

Chamomile tea, black out curtains, ear plugs and a Lumie alarm clock.

My Lumie is an absolute game changer, especially in the winter months. It's an alarm clock that mimics the sunrise. So half an hour before I want to wake up, it comes on with a dim orange light, gradually getting brighter. The 'alarm' is birdsong. It's a very gentle and natural feeling way to wake up and well worth the money.

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BusinessCat89@reddit

I've had periods of incredibly bad sleep in my life, and then times when it was good.

The biggest difference is how stressed I am. When I'm under chronic stress, I fall asleep quickly but little things wake me up, and then my brain runs away with itself and I cannot get back to sleep. In these times I use a weighted blanket and headphones that cover my eyes, so I still rest and distract myself, and sometimes get back to sleep.

In material terms though, we forked out for a new bed last year, which is bigger with a new mattress, topper and black out curtains and that has been a game changer, mattress for good quality sleep and no back pain, curtains so if I do wake up I can get back to sleep.

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Superb_Copy1644@reddit

I did a brief spell on medication that’s half anti depressant and half mild sedative, and after close to 20 years of being terrible at sleeping, it changed my life. To the point where now I’m off them, whilst I’m not sleeping as much as I was, 6 months of habitual, bed at this time and guaranteed staying asleep till this time, has kind of forced/reset my body into a routine. It’s bliss.

As a result I drink less as am less antsy about “it’s 2am and I can’t sleep, or “what’s the point in going to bed I’ll be awake for hours” I know medication isn’t always the answer to healthy natural sleep, so am over the moon it did this.

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YOF626@reddit

I’ve been shattered all this week, think I need a holiday

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Neat_Sand_9717@reddit

Not drinking helps a lot . Caffeine seems to make little difference to my sleep . I try to avoid it after midday as a good habit

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Opposite_Funny9958@reddit

For me, ditching that second pillow was a game changer, neck, shoulders and back pain significantly reduced, then it was changing old sprung mattress for a firm breathe-able foam one (that sorted lower back pain) and finally decent black out curtains.

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cbawiththismalarky@reddit

Bad sleep and not enough water

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Reallyboringname2@reddit

Pillow, Curtains, Mattress, in order of cost.
Mattress, Pillow, Curtains, in order of importance.

The right pillow is crucial but a shit mattress overrules everything.

Stretches and putting phone down an hour before will go a long way too.

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

I’ve always slept well, so I generally take it for granted, but when I do have a bad night or two it really brings home how much of an impact it has.

I genuinely don’t know how people cope who are getting up multiple times for the loo, or for young children, or who take hours to get off. There should definitely be more help available for you!

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Willow-Wisp-7488@reddit

Bad sleep rewires you to think exhaustion is normal you don’t know how bad it was until you feel good.

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General-Balance-1046@reddit

I used to tell myself I didn’t need 8 hours of sleep and I functioned just as well on less. Then one day something just clicked and I realised being constantly exhausted and needing naps just go get through the day wasn’t normal. I bought nice bedding, got into a good routine of washing it regularly, go to bed by 10 90% of the time, alarm set for 7 but now often wake up naturally before and don’t allow myself to oversleep on weekends (by that I mean once I wake up I don’t go back to sleep, doesn’t mean I get up straight away but I’ll doom scroll or watch some tv in bed rather then snoozing). Honestly it’s made the world of difference. I feel like a completely different person, I’m happier and now do more of what I love without feeling exhausted. I will caveat this by saying I don’t have kids … which does make it a lot easier.

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MrsMiggins2@reddit

Blackout curtains and reducing caffeine. I discovered decaf a few years ago so now only have caffeine for my first coffee and maybe another in the early afternoon. The rest of my hot drinks are decaf.

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