Have people in the United States ever met and interacted with extended family members outside of uncles and cousins?

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ubermonkey@reddit

We absolutely have terms for these relationships, but whether or not you know them or are close to them varies widely by family even in small towns.

In (American at least) English, a first cousin is the child of a parent’s sibling. First cousins have the same grandparents by definition.

Your second cousin is someone who has the same great-grandparents as you, and so forth.

The “once removed” nomenclature comes into play when you describe relationships that cross generational boundaries. For example, my first cousin L has a daughter M. M is my first cousin once removed.

My children (if I had any) would be M’s second cousins, tho, bc they would all be the same number of steps from a common ancestor (in this case, their great grandparents who were also mine and L’s grandparents).

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forever-salty22@reddit

Yes. There was at least one extended family member at every family gathering. My mom's 2nd cousin used to stay with us for one week a year. My grandmother's (deceased) husband's cousin would also stay with us. He lived in Washington State and we lived in Maryland

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Wheatcattle@reddit

The colloquialism you are looking for is shirtail relations. And personally I am with a few

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

I will say shirttail relationship has a kind of negative connotation.

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North_Artichoke_6721@reddit

I know all of my second cousins. I am close with one third cousin.

I also really like genealogy and have found that a bunch of my coworkers are like my 11th cousins or so. We jokingly call each other “cuz” in the cafeteria and laugh about being “one big happy family.”

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

I forget what the exact relationship is but I found out one of my neighbors who I know is a very distant relation. Our last common ancestor had four kids. One stayed in New England and three moved west into Pennsylvania, then Ohio and Indiana.

I just randomly moved back to where that ancestor came from (before we had traced that family line).

Turns out a ton of folks in his branch of the family have the surname that is preserved in my family as a middle name. We now both now live about 20 miles from where our common ancestor is buried and our kids go to the same schools.

Humans be moving and fucking all over this country.

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Wonderful-Truck-3301@reddit

Ha! That's funny. So many going up to 11 or 12th on mine, yet I haven't come across anyone i know beyond my sort of limited close relatives that show up.

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Vienta1988@reddit

They’re called first cousins once removed, or second, third, fourth cousins, etc. And yes, I’ve met all of my mom’s cousins and their children, and some of my dad’s cousins and their children, etc. My kids know and regularly see my cousin’s son, and they just consider him their cousin.

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

Yeah those more distant relations often just get lumped in as cousins or aunts/uncles even if that isn’t their exact genealogical definition.

Like my kids know most of my cousins’ kids. My cousins are their first cousins once removed. My cousins kids are their second cousins. All of those are just shorthanded as cousins.

My kids know all my aunts and uncles. Those are technically their great/grand uncles and aunts. But they all get shorthanded as aunts and uncles.

Now my mom’s cousins who we are close to and their kids. Those are my kids first cousins once removed and second cousins once removed. That is aunt/uncle and cousin respectively in family shorthand.

The wildest one is my grandma’s cousin and her kids and grandkids. I don’t even remember how that goes. I think they are first cousins twice removed, second cousin once removed, and their kids are third cousins?

I swear any time we all get together there’s always a 30 minute argument of the exact name for everyone until we all just decide “aunt/uncle” and “cousin” are just fine for shorthand.

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nomuggle@reddit

I’m close with alot of my extended family: second cousins and third cousins, etc.

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Zenthane@reddit

In my personal case no, but in many many peoples cases yes. Hell, for that matter I've only met each of my uncles once. One when I was young and I met him in prison, the other 2 at my grandmother's funeral. That's is the total extent of any family interaction beyond my mom and her mother.

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Grouchy765@reddit

"Grandparents siblings children" those are called second cousins. And yes many people have close relationships with their first and second cousins

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OptatusCleary@reddit

They would be your first cousins once removed, actually. The person is your parent’s first cousin, and you are one generation “removed,” so that’s why they’re called that.

Their children are your second cousins.

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

Yes. People always mess that one up and the “removed” part goes up and down the generations too.

Here’s a chart

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Melcher@reddit

My grandpa and his cousin were about the same age and best friends

Both had daughters around the same age. Both daughters had sons around the same age.

He’s my 4th? Cousin? 1st cousin 4th removed? I don’t know how it works but we definitely still hang out

I think it’s much more common in rural areas

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OptatusCleary@reddit

Your grandpa’s first cousin is your first cousin twice removed. “Removed” refers to the difference in generation. So he’s your grandpa’s first cousin, and you are two generations “removed” from him.

His daughter is your mom’s second cousin, and your second cousins once removed.

His daughter’s son is your third cousin (not removed because you’re in the same generation from the common ancestor.)

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Melcher@reddit

I don’t know if I’ll ever get that right but thanks for explaining!

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Optimal-Age5397@reddit

Not just rural areas. Im in a NYC suburb and we know second or third cousins once or twice or whatever removed. They're just cousins, we don't get into semanrics. My kids best friends are my grandpa's brothers grandsons kids. So our parents were cousins, and now our kids are cousins too. Its still family. We have a good time together with cousins from my grandpa's other brother's too and even great grandpa's brothers sometimes. We like to think they'd be happy knowing we're all still getting together for a party once in a while.

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thatcoolguy60@reddit

Yes. It's called extended family. How close you are depends on the family.

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cygnus311@reddit

If you gave me an hour, I couldn’t name half of my second cousins. My wife has multiple second cousins that are basically sisters to her.

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dangleicious13@reddit

I only the know the name of two 2nd cousins and they are sisters.

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Geruvah@reddit

Hell I’m so close with my second cousins that we consider ourselves first cousins. And I’m close with their cousins

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dangleicious13@reddit

I'm closer to one 2nd cousin than any of my five 1st cousins, and I only talk to her maybe twice a year. Outside of that, I've met some of the more extended family, but none of them are anyone that I want anything to do with.

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Dazzling-Climate-318@reddit

I was once at a Church Bazaar eating lunch with my wife, mother grandmother and a couple of my mother’s cousins. My wife commented that my mother and grandmother had been talking to a lot of people that day who were my relatives. She asked if I was related to whoever came through the door next. I looked around, saw who was there and said with full confidence yes, I am related to whoever comes through the door to the Church Fellowship hall where the Bazaar was being held, and I was. I was related to about half the members of that church.

As a 5 year old I met a boy who immediately became my new best friend, Benny. He lived on the block in the next street from me. I wasn’t allowed to cross the road, but could and did go up our block and had found that I could get to the block behind ours without crossing the road by going to and around the block. My mother looked at him, she asked him if his grandmother’s name was (fill in blank). He indicated it was and she let me know he was a distant cousin of mine as our grandparents were cousins.

My daughter was with her grandparents at a family reunion in the town my wife grew up in. When she got home she let us know that a boy she attended school with, who we had thought might make a nice boyfriend for her when she was older was her distant cousin as his mother’s great grandparents were the same as my wife’s.

In some places people don’t move away, and even if they do they end up in similar places as their relatives.

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anneofgraygardens@reddit

on my mom's side, yes. There are so many of them I can't really keep most of them straight though.

on my dad's side, no. They're way too dysfunctional.

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semisubterranean@reddit

We call them second cousin, third cousin, second cousin once removed, etc. There is a whole system in English for precisely identifying the relationship.

Personally, every time I take my mother to church, she finds someone who is related to us, sometimes up to six or more steps removed. It's like a sixth sense for her. I know all of my second cousins and played with many of them as a child when we would visit my grandparents. One of my best friends was my second cousin (until she passed away). Another second cousin was my roommate freshman year of college. It wasn't a great match, but at least we could call each other's mother's.

Most small towns have a festival at some point during the year, and people will return who are several generations removed for big family reunions.

Where my brother and sister-in-law live in Minnesota, they can't go anywhere in their small town without meeting one of her cousins, second cousins, or third cousins. Her family have lived in that area since before there was a town ... and on her Ojibwe side, before there was a United States.

Obviously not all families are the same. Some people have never even met their own half-sibling or grand parents. But I suspect more Americans know one or more of their second cousins than don't.

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pawsplay36@reddit

My mom's side of the family had a five generation re-union.

There are English terms for all those relationships.

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Miserable_Star6824@reddit

Yet you’re still poor, yikes

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anneofgraygardens@reddit

what the heck kind of bot is this

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FoggyGoodwin@reddit

My great grandparents, my grandmother's sister and nephew, my SO's ex's kids, mother, & younger brother's family.

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clairejv@reddit

There are English terms for further relatives. We have first cousins, second cousins, and third cousins. We also have the "once removed" and "twice removed" add-ons.

I grew up calling my grandfather's siblings my aunts and uncles. I also called my mother's cousins my aunts and uncles.

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Cookieman_2023@reddit (OP)

What do you guys mean by removed?

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clairejv@reddit

It means the cousin is a generation or two separate from you.

My mother's sister's son is my first cousin. My mother's sister's son's son is my first cousin, once removed.

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FeelingPlayfulNow@reddit

I met my dad's cousin while the family was preparing for my aunt's funeral. I met both of my grandmothers' sisters (my great aunts) a couple of times. One set of my grandparents was dead before I was born, so the great aunt on that side was the closest I had to a grandparent from that half of the family, but I didn't know her well.

Even my direct cousins I have only met a few times aside from the estranged one. My parents went all in on the "nuclear family" because the extended family is spread out really far from each other and flying is expensive.

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Jazzlike-Honey-9157@reddit

My family literally has someone assigned as the “kin keeper”. She updates everyone on who died, who got married, who was born, all that. Like I know my paternal grandmother’s cousin just passed away from liver failure. Now is this common American behavior? Nah, it seems to be a regional thing. And for a long time people didn’t move or they moved and started a new pocket of family members not that far away.

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dingbatdummy@reddit

There are terms for those relations.

Yes I have met a handful of mine in my life. No we’re not close. I visited a couple in another country with my parents in my teens/20s but as everyone has gotten older, those connections have become more tenuous.

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Diligent-Touch-5456@reddit

I've met and interacted a little with my mother's cousins and even 1 second cousin. But due to age differences and distance I rarely saw them.

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shammy_dammy@reddit

....of course....? I definitely met my grandmother's sister. She and her husband would come in the summers.

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FastCar2467@reddit

Yes, I have met my second cousins and other extended family. My children have too, and are very close to a couple of their second cousins.

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Adorable-Growth-6551@reddit

Yes we call them second or third cousins.

Growing up i spent every Sunday afternoon watching cartoons with my...third cousins i think. We went to my Great Grandpas house and ate doughnuts and cake while the adults talked around the table. My Grandma and her 5 brothers and sisters, some of the children that remained in the area (would be my Dads cousins), and their children were my generation.

Family still does this actually, now actually, but i moved away and no longer attend. It is now at my one of my Dads cousins homes. Great Grandpa died years ago and now so have my Grandma and her siblings.

I did spend time with my third cousins on my mothers side too, just not as much. My children are now friends with a couple of my cousins children. They are close enough it is just easier to call them all cousins.

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LineCookGrind@reddit

[ Removed by Reddit ]

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HavBoWilTrvl@reddit

It's called a family reunion and it's a little slice of hell.

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

You’re doing it wrong. My chaotic family reunions are fun as hell.

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latcady@reddit

Where you talk and socialize with the people you see the most.

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shelwood46@reddit

I mean, I have met my aunts. But also you are talking about great aunts, great uncles, and cousins of various degrees (second cousins, first cousins once removed). I have met all of them on my mother's side (and my aunt on my father's side before he disappeared from my life). Some are close,some aren't. Most of them lived near where I grew up. I no longer live there.

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GrowlingAtTheWorld@reddit

I never met some of my grandparent let alone their siblings. I was a late in life child and my grandfather on my father’s side had already passed before I was born and my mother’s mom passed when I was maybe 3 years old.

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Tankieforever@reddit

Yeah. Not so much me personally since my folks are of a more recent immigration, so all the extended family is back in Europe… but my ex was related to damn near everyone in his hometown (probably why he took a liking to the chick with immigrant parents), he generally just referred to all of them as his “cousin”, but then when I’d ask it would often turn out that they were a second cousin, or a third cousin twice removed, etc etc…

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

Yes, great aunts and uncles, their kids. First cousins, first cousins once removed. Second cousins, second cousins once removed. Even third cousins.

There’s names for all the relations you mentioned.

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_Internet_Hugs_@reddit

My dad's side of the family is gigantic and there is a huge family reunion every summer. I've hung out with people who the only relative we had in common was our great-great-great-great-great grandparents. Fifth cousins or something like that.

My mom's side is smaller, but I still knew her cousins and their kids.

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EatLard@reddit

Yeah. My great-great grandfather’s family has done reunions ranging from every five years to now every two years. It’s a pretty big group now, but it’s cool to see how/what we’re all doing these days. The olds who make it out always have great stories.

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Combat__Crayon@reddit

Some, but that was more a geography factor and it kind of depends on how close your parents were to those cousins. We have one side following my maternal grandmother's sister's line that we see regularly because my mom was close with those cousins and they live the next state over on a lake and host a lot of parties. I've met my maternal great uncle's grandkids but they were out east and that great uncle lived in Florida so we didnt get down there that much.

On my father's side my dad was relatively close with some of his cousins but we never really got together with them or they didnt have any kids and like having friends without kids when you do, things kind of drift apart because what you do in your free time changes.

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FionaOlwen@reddit

There is but it gets confusing… matters on the family. As a kid there would be a big family get together that consisted of my great grandpa and his brothers family. Some families do giant family reunions others don’t. America is huge and Theres all sorts of family. Also some are estranged, I have friends who don’t talk to their parents/family because of this, let alone extended family.

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KaJashey@reddit

I knew and often visited my maternal grand mothers' sister, her husband and their children. they were simply called aunts, uncles, and cousins even though they were technically a great aunt, great uncle and second cousins.

I have interacted with family on my father's side. Same deal they were great aunts and their children -second cousins but simply known as aunts and cousins.

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count-brass@reddit

There is an English term for those types of terms. There’s “x times removed”, and first, second, third relationships. For instance, first cousin once removed. Additionally we use “great” with aunt and uncle to denote one’s parents’ aunts/uncles.

I’ve interacted with several members of my extended family in these categories, for instance, great aunts, and second cousins, and some removed a generation or so. But I was always closer with nearer relatives.

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DrMindbendersMonocle@reddit

fairly common

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wasterman27@reddit

I see them now and then, but we aren't close. I think this is fairly common in the US. We'd use the terms second cousin, third cousin, etc. for them.

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evaj95@reddit

Yes, I know some of my mom's cousins very well, and I know my cousins' cousins on the other side of their family.

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Adjective-Noun123456@reddit

Yes.

And there is English terminology.

2nd, 3rd, 4th cousins. Once, twice, three times removed, Great-Aunt/Uncle.

I'm honestly confused why this is a question or what led you to believe that people here are only allowed to know aunts, uncles, and first cousins.

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johnnymadridlover@reddit

My mom's moms side of the family was close. She grew up with some of her cousins being as close as siblings. we are to the 4x removed generation and still hanging around each other. Not as much as when we were all younger, but we still keep in touch.

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SockSock81219@reddit

Yes? I have many second cousins (my cousins' children), and great aunts and uncles (my mother's and father's aunts and uncles, and I suppose their children are also my second cousins? or maybe my third? or maybe they're my second aunts and uncles?) and so forth. I don't live near any of them, and I barely know of their existence day-to-day. Too much family to remember, so we mostly choose to forget most of them unless they live nearby.

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mrsc1880@reddit

My grandfather had 12 siblings and most of them stayed in the same rural town to raise their families. The ones who live in the area see each other around town. My grandfather's sister's granddaughter (my second cousin) lives next door to me. Another 2nd cousin was my daughter's second grade teacher. We all joke that everyone in this town is related to us.

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manicpixidreamgirl04@reddit

Yea, I grew up knowing a lot of my second cousins, and over the past few years I've gotten to know one of my third cousins.

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PistachioPerfection@reddit

All are gone now, but we were very close to my grandmother's 3 sisters. They were such fun... all kept a tiny flask of whiskey in the ample bosom of their housedress 🤗

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ATLien_3000@reddit

Depends where you live.

Americans are very mobile.

It's relatively rare that someone's going to live that close to that much extended family.

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Reddittoxin@reddit

When I was a kid my great grandma was the host for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We'd go visit every year and alllll of the family went. Like, my great aunts, their kids, and their kids kids even. Everyone was there.

Now was i particularly close with them, not really, bc I only ever saw em a couple times a year, and there was some awkward age gaps. (Like when me and my sister were little, my cousins were teenagers and then later they had their own kids. So it was like, people who were 10+ years older than me, or 10+ younger). But I did meet them and know their names lol

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Spiritual_Being5845@reddit

Yes, but after the grandparents passed away the connection bringing us all together was gone.

As a kid I remember my mom’s cousin’s kids being at holidays. My grandparents siblings and their kids and grandkids used to be a part of family events. But not anymore.

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Pinikanut@reddit

Yes, personally. I grew up very close to my extended family. Used to visit my grandma's brother's wife and all their kids every summer and they would visit us every summer, too. I also regularly visited 2nd cousins.

And yes, we have terms for this. Second, third, etc cousins and also first, second etc cousins once, twice etc removed. I think most people just call all these people cousins. Although, for my dad's cousin some of my cousins would refer to him as an uncle because he was our parent's age. I didn't because I knew he was a distant cousin.

I'm not sure how common it is but I grew up in NYC and plenty of my friends knew their extended family.

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nebraskajone@reddit

No I haven't met my all my first cousins

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lithomangcc@reddit

My grandmother's aunt's granddaughter. My great, great grandmother was her great grandmother.

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PlantPainter@reddit

Yes. My great aunts and uncles (grandparents’ siblings) were a very big part of my life while they were still alive, and it’s not unusual to be around 2nd cousins at family gatherings at least a few times a year. As I’ve gotten older, though, those connections have become more distant, but my kids now have the connections that I used to.

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reliableotter@reddit

Is the term you are looking for 2nd cousin and 1st cousin- once removed? And 2nd cousin once removed. (My 1st cousin- once removed is my Dad's cousin, they share a grandparent. My 2nd cousin share a great grandparent. 2nd cousin once removed is her child.)

I know them and hang out with them a few times a year, more than some of my actual cousins.

I also know several "cousins" where I haven't bothered to trace the lineage and am not exactly sure how I'm related to them, possibly our grandparents were cousins? We just know each other, see each other at family reunions and call each other up if we are in that part of the country.

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TalkingRose@reddit

I somewhat had the opportunity while growing up but I was absolutely uninterested in the affair. I have never been big on large gatherings of people. Even the family gatherings that just counted what we would consider to be close family and maybe like one layer out were still much bigger than I was any kind of happy or comfortable with. As an adult, while I am sure it has made assorted family members sad, I have reasonably dropped off the family map.

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LikeLexi@reddit

Yes, but we basically refer to all extended family as a cousin. Just like often you’ll hear the ‘Great’ or ‘Great Great’ dropped from titles. I’ve spent a ton of time with my great uncles and aunts and never once referred to them as more than an uncle or aunt unless someone ask for clarification.

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PotentialAcadia460@reddit

We have these things called family reunions.

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tenehemia@reddit

Sure. Growing up there would be more extended family at various holiday gatherings, as well as weddings, funerals, etc. Like my dad's cousins, my grandparents' siblings, etc. On my mom's side there was a family reunion type event when I was maybe ten where I got to meet a lot of very far flung family. I've also found a handful around the world over the course of my life which is made easier since both my parents' family names are quite unusual so if I see someone with one of those names it's probably worth investigating to see if they're a relative.

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SpicySnails@reddit

Yes? I grew up playing with my parent's cousin's children. We just called my parents's cousins my aunts and uncle. I'm...still unclear on which of my parents some of those people are related to. And which of the couple is the cousin vs the spouse. We also called my parents's friends aunt and uncle, too. Everyone is aunt and uncle.

About to go to my cousin's kid's wedding. So...not super close. But that's more by merit of the fact that to get to that wedding will take either a very expensive plane ride or three days of driving. So we don't hang out often.

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skin_peeler@reddit

Of course not! What do you take me for? A family member?!

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SillyBanana123@reddit

I’m very close with my grandpa’s sister (we call that relationship a great aunt). I’m also very close with my 3rd cousin (we share the same great great grandfather). All of these people are from my dad’s side though. The relationships I have with relatives on my mom’s side are much more immediate

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tropicsandcaffeine@reddit

Depends upon the family. Some families are super close to extended relatives. Others not so much. For my family we have relatives (my father's cousins) that we see maybe once a year if that. Facebook friends with a couple of them. I have other cousins that I have not seen or spoken to in over 20 years. I have a couple on my mom's side that just seemed to have vanished. Just the way it is.

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JediLincoln14@reddit

There are terms. Great-uncle, second cousin, third cousin twice-removed, etc. I've met a few extended family members, but they aren't a part of my life.

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Agreeable-Sun368@reddit

WTF is this question??? Of course I have. We all just call them cousins. I am super close to my mom's cousin who is my godmother and her daughter, and I have good relationships with my mom's uncles and aunts and cousins and their kids and their kids' kids. We don't necessarily see them all the time, but I grew up seeing them regularly. On my dad's side we would see his mom's sister and her kids and their kids and their kids' kids all the time, and occasionally my grandpa's siblings as well. My dad has 33 first cousins but a lot of them are cringe AF so we didn't spend tons of time around them. Maybe 1-2 times a year at a giant 4th of July BBQ. I'm friends with all of them on Facebook.

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Arleare13@reddit

your grandparents' sibling's children and grandchildren, their spouses, parents' cousins, cousin's cousin

I know all of those relatives. Some of them I don't see them all the time, but at least on holidays. And some of them I'm actually very close with.

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Drew707@reddit

My aunts on the Spanish side of my family have supposedly met up with family in Spain, but I am so removed that I don't care about that kind of inquisition.

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damididit@reddit

Presumably it was unexpected

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o93mink@reddit

Ohhh unexpected

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rainidazehaze@reddit

Americans pop out of the ground like daisies, and have no extended family outside of uncles and cousins.

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LilacNites777@reddit

Yes, quite often. My grandparents siblings and their children.

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Ok-Energy-9785@reddit

Yes. Although I am learning that that's not very common. My grandma had 8 siblings and all of them had kids. My mom is from that generation and grew up with them and I grew up with their kids.

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she-dont-use-jellyyy@reddit

... yes? What kind of question is this?

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MsPandaLady@reddit

Its rare but people do have giant family reunions that include family from all branches of the tree.

I am not one of those people, I don't even see my cousins. But it happens

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cabbagesandkings1291@reddit

My husband’s family is close with his grandmother’s siblings and their kids, grandkids, etc. We don’t live in the same part of the country, but we get together for special occasions or as proximity allows, and I have casual digital contact with them throughout the year. I am not close to members of my own family that way, but more due to the family dynamics, not because of the more distant relationship.

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