Do you stop to help someone with a flat tire?
Posted by DeiaMatias@reddit | askcarguys | View on Reddit | 136 comments
I am a 45 year old woman and I got a flat today.
I am very good at changing my own tires. My second car had been in an accident before I bought it, and I was perpetually loosing valve stems. I'd be on the side of the road once every month or two. I can change a tire in under 10 minutes. I called my husband and told him I had a flat. He offered to come up and change it for me. "Naw, I'll be done by the time you get here."
I got a flat today on a busy city street and pulled over into a parking lot to fix it. I was plainly visible to anyone driving down the road.
For the very first time in almost 30 years of driving, not a single person pulled over and offered to help. I'm not annoyed by this, I'm perfectly capable of doing it on my own, but I am a bit... perplexed?
I've had rednecks in F150s stop and help. Hippies in a cloud of pot smoke, and a carful of guys who spoke zero English. I've had very butch women offer to help a couple of times, and even a little five foot nothing blond girl stop one time. "Gotta help a sister out!"
But never no one.
So I've got to ask, do people not pull over and offer to help change a spare anymore? Granted, it's been about 10 years since I've had to change a tire on the side of the road, but still.
I will conceded that I was much hotter at 22 than I am at 45, but that can't be the only reason.
Heavy_Gap_5047@reddit
Nope, used to, not anymore, people suck.
1wrx2subarus@reddit
I’ve stopped to help all manner of people with issues like a dead battery, adding air to tires and even helped people at the gas station.
The dead battery was because a bunch of kids were in back and looked like they were miserable from the heat. I have a handheld battery that can jump a car battery. So, I helped them and saw how appreciative they were.
Another two times but a week apart, a lady needed help putting air in her tires at a warehouse club. She was understandably struggling because an error code was thrown on the air pump. The following week, the little lady just couldn’t quite put enough weight into the metal valve stems.
So, I do help when I see an opportunity. It’s not often but I try because I’ve been there in my younger years and it makes a world of difference when someone swoops in to save the day.
Heavy_Gap_5047@reddit
If we want to get into it, I'm just a giant asshole these days.
I just won't stop for men, all I'm thinking is 'man up and handle your shit'.
Women only if I want to and think I could fuck'm, other wise all I'm thinking is 'where's your husband'.
I'm just tired of weak men and the feminists they create.
F3arless_Bubble@reddit
Holy red flag vibes I’m taking a huge guess that you’re not in a good relationship lol
Heavy_Gap_5047@reddit
Good relationships aren't possible in the US anymore, our government has cucked us all.
Asron87@reddit
Weird. I just help people when I can.
SteadySurvivalMode@reddit
That’s all we can do
Superhereaux@reddit
Rules to Success:
1: Be Attractive
2: Don’t be Unattractive
Asron87@reddit
And if nothing else: Be good looking.
DoctorMoebius@reddit
Ted Bundy ruined it for everyone
Technical_Ad4462@reddit
Honestly if its a woman I usually almost will always stop unless someone is already helping - no matter what you look like. If it's a man they can fuck right off and I hope they learned something that day if they didn't already know how
grumpy0282@reddit
ummm i have a question
you said ,,, I was perpetually loosing valve stems.
ive been driving since the 80s , cars and trucks , NEVER have i lost a valve stem
how do you perpetually lose them ?
sgafixer@reddit
Word got out you're that lady that can change her own tire
derdkp@reddit
I don't stop to change tires, but I will stop and help push a car into a safe parking lot.
No_Use1529@reddit
I stop and help people. I have a tire repair and valve kit, jumper cables, battery impact and thin wall impacts.
SteadySurvivalMode@reddit
I’m sure you’re still plenty hot at 45, but face it the world has changed. People are less polite, not to mention the dangerous people and crazies around nowadays. It’s not only risky to be the person in need of help, but also the helper.
DeiaMatias@reddit (OP)
Awww, thanks :) I wonder if risk is a part of it. I'll pull over and help a woman, but I won't pull over and help a man. They're generally stronger than me, and I'm not a gun owner.
SteadySurvivalMode@reddit
Last week I saw a young-ish girl walking down the street in the pouring rain in a not-great area. I wanted so badly to offer her a ride, but as a middle aged man with the best of intentions I knew it was probably a bad idea. I felt bad, but sometimes the risk outweighs the reward
Inflatable90sChair@reddit
Yup. I was on a rural gravel backroad, i passed a sxs whos driver looked pissed off for some reason. Farther up the road saw a younger woman walking along the road to town but clearly a "im pissed" stomp walk. Thought about stopping but same as you prolly a bad idea to get involved as an alone male. I checked the gps and wasnt that far to town, its a sunny day with a nice breeze at like noon - no major concerns. I did flag down a truck with an older couple in it farther up the road heading towards her mainly to warn them someones walking on the side but said they may want to stop and ask if shes ok as she looked mad...
Icy_Truth_9634@reddit
My thoughts as well. It’s just too risky. Before Cellphones, and when I was younger, I helped many people. I did it because I had several people help me. It’s just the way things were. Today, most people have access to help with their phone. As an older man, I may seem threatening to a lady, and I think any man should be able to handle it about as well as I could. It may be a shame to no longer have that helpful attitude, but hey- I put in my time!
gettin-hot-in-here@reddit
you mentioned a busy city street so the first thing i thought of was the "bystander effect" which people sometimes call the Kitty Genovese effect
from google "Driven by the public shock over the Genovese story, psychologists Bibb Latané and John Darley conducted clinical experiments to understand why groups often fail to act in emergencies. They formally identified the bystander effect, which relies on two primary mechanisms: [1, 2]
dirtroadgang@reddit
Women chose the bear. Men are shamed all over the internet for daring to glance at or complement a woman. Me too terrified men away from working with/helping women because they’d be labeled a creep or have some allegation leveled against them. We were told to stay away and we listened. This a broad generalization but this isn’t the first post I’ve seen on the subject and my answer is a compilation of comment sections.
Past_Opportunity8513@reddit
Strong independent women don't need no man!
kndirbrbjiy@reddit
Never thought of that angle, guy, girl or etc everyone is equal.
the_shazster@reddit
I have. Most of the time they're already at mostly done & politely wave me off, but I live in a rural area, so whatever it is, tire, stuck in ditch/snowbank, you stop & check. Most of the time someone has already been called, so you can continue on.
We are also in an aging society. High likelihood the person is oldER...or OLD. Mobility issues...less upper body strength...mild cognitive issues (but still licensed & on the road)...decision impairment (walking to nearest house in minus 30, but they've misjudged what direction or how far? That can be fatal). They may not have someone to call. They may not have a smartphone or even a flip phone. Or it's a dead signal zone. So you stop & check. You have a duty to assist. In my province, not at least stopping to check is a chargeable offense in the traffic code, potentially criminal if resulting death.
Ask-Material@reddit
I stop 95% of the time to help others on the side of the road. The other 5% is if I have a bad feeling. Just last week I helped an older man get something out from under his car. Some sort of mower bagger was in the road and he didnt see it. Poor guy was laying in stones on the side of the road trying to cut it out. 30 seconds I had it out for him. He was so thankful. I have helped dozens of people. Ive even gone as far as leaving to go get a jack and tools to help a guy change a tire since he didnt have any tools. With this... Im also 6 foot and 220 pounds. If its a woman I usually roll my window down and ask if help us on the way as I don't want to scare them. Most of the time women say they are ok, which I don't blame them, they have no idea who I am.
Matloc@reddit
I did this winter and the guy was pretty useless. Just bought the truck and the tires were in very rough shape. He barely lift a finger while me and 2 others did everything.
DookieMcDookface@reddit
Just call AAA or the non-emergency police line for help.
From my end, the world is weird nowadays. No good deed goes unpunished. There are crazies and scammers abounds. It just better to mind your own business.
Dangerous-City6856@reddit
What part of the world do you live in where this is a police matter?
TimberCustoms@reddit
I might be able to top your story. I had a flat tire on my truck about fifteen years ago, and was pulled over on an approach and was just getting the jack into place when a car pulled up. A 40’s ish guy hopped out and started asking for directions. I had a pretty good idea where he needed to go, and he just said thanks, hopped in his car and drove off. So not only did this guy not help, but I ended up helping him!
stabbingrabbit@reddit
I stop to at least check if they are ok. But with the judgemental folks out there I would be labeled creepy to misogynistic to offer help to a woman.
lrbikeworks@reddit
I have done it.
It’s a dying skillet unfortunately. A car is increasingly regarded as a black box. If it stops working for whatever reason, a phone call is the solution. Or a text, or clicking a button in an app. People rarely get the jack out themselves.
ratedsar@reddit
Oh man, a doordasher was on my street, and had a flat, he was using a pair of pliers to turn the scissor jack, and initially said he knew what he was doing. Yes, he had the full rotating arm in his trunk.
pmpork@reddit
This. I don't know many people under 30 who I'd trust to change a tire...
Terrible-Guitar-5638@reddit
As a 31 hear old who knows the way of the wheel, I'm glad I made the cut.
MortadellaKing@reddit
I changed the tire for a coworker in the parking lot at the office, they thought I was some kind of superhero lol. Nope, just a guy who goes off-roading every weekend and always prepared.
humpthedog@reddit
I will not help guys change a tire, Women yes
Jondiesel78@reddit
For a guy, sure. I did not to long ago when a guy was unable to get his lugnuts loose. The cop who stopped was also unable. I had a 1/2" cordless impact with me and pulled the lugnuts off.
If it's a female under the age of 70, probably not. I don't need the headache of being in some content creator's video accusing me of toxic masculinity for stopping to help a woman.
Life-Travel1787@reddit
No, next question please.
Frontier_Hobby@reddit
I always used to stop to ask people if they need help. The thing is…in the last 5 or so years people always say no thanks. When my wife is with me she goes out first to ask if I can help them. That usually goes better.
Frankly I would not ask a woman if she needs help. I remember all those videos during the pandemic: “which would you be more scared of in a forest…a bear or a man.” The consensus seemed to be that men are more scary. Since then I’ve sort of taken the position…well, y’all are on your own then as far as I’m concerned.
hapym1267@reddit
I used to stop more often. Helped a lady in a known " dead phone " area. But a few years ago a guy like me stopped for two young girls broken down.. He was jumped and beaten almost to death. He has a plate in his head and no short term memory now.. So Yes I still stop , but am very picky about surroundings..
TheBarnard@reddit
Potentially. I've stopped for a complete random on the side of the road and it turned into a disaster
Lady was stuck, with a child about 6 or 7 car had no gas. I offer to take her to the gas station. We go she insists on buying my nicotine pouches for me. She also gets booze, black and milds, a cannister, and the gas container, as well as gas. When she gets the total of like $50 she looks at me like I was scamming her.
Anyways we get to get car and I start filling up her tank for her. She starts lighting up a black and mild! I told her to go away from me while I'm filling it up, she spoke rudely to her child, I felt like she was going to drink and drive with him
After that I'm just less likely to get involved with complete strangers
NoobensMcarthur@reddit
How many flat tires/break downs have you had?
largos7289@reddit
Most don't know how to do it now anyway. My friends son, wants zip to do with cars, just wants to put gas in it and go. Has told him this many times. Kills my bud because he can take a quadrajet carb apart blindfolded with two hands tied behind his back. His son said why when i can call AAA to do it?
I use to but now that i'm older, unless i see them really struggling i won't stop either. I can't chance that it's not shady or i get stabbed.
Outrageous-Price804@reddit
I’ve pulled over a few times over the years to help people, and it never really received a positive reaction. One person got really offended at the idea that they needed help. I also accidentally scared the shit out of some poor woman, because when I pulled up behind her to help, she immediately threw the car in gear and drove off with a flat tire. This was in the middle of the day mind you.
unpolire@reddit
Social change has made approaching a woman and offering help a dangerous proposition. I have always stopped for anyone, especially in a remote area, as I am a car collector with knowledge about a wide range of vehicles and can fix most issues. You don't want to scare a woman on her own without asking for permission.
NotYourNativeDaddy@reddit
Not sure what state or city you’re in but I stopped to someone today and asked if he needed help. It could be where you are?
LV_Devotee@reddit
I stopped attempting to help when i noticed too many newer cars didn’t come with a spare anymore. How am i supposed to help if the people who need help don’t have the basics to where i could help.
VeggiesArentSoBad@reddit
If someone is having trouble in a parking lot, I’ll offer a jump or help with a tire; but I wouldn’t pull off the highway. People have cellphones and AAA if they can’t do it themselves.
Last time I had a flat myself, a state employee pulled up behind me before I even got out of the car and he changed it for me. I wasn’t going to say no, he was on the clock and had a nicer jack than my scissor jack.
Mat_Neyu@reddit
I used to. I hesitate now since life is life-ing. The times I did, there was this dude in a Datsun 510. I helped him push his car. A few days later, I went to my favorite restaurant and he ended up being the manager there. Super cool dude. Gave me a shit ton of free meals. IF YOURE OUT THERE THANK YOU FOR FEEDING ME IN MY 20’s!!!!
Still_Title8851@reddit
No. It’s dangerous and scary. Wait for the Road Ranger to respond.
WonOfKind@reddit
In today's age, I go purely on who seems like they need help. If a woman is on the side of the road changing her tire, I assume she has it and does not need/want help. If a man is on the side of the road with his hands on his head, I'll stop and offer assistance. It's not the gender, it's how they are acting. Last time I stopped, I was in rush hour traffic and watched a man struggle with a single lug nut for about a minute and I realized he didn't have the tool he needed to get it off. I have a truck full of tools and almost couldn't get it off, he had it damn near rounded off and if I hadn't stopped when I did, he would have been screwed.
Naerven@reddit
When I was younger I would. Now that I'm on the far side of my 50s I'm a bit concerned I might hurt myself.
ooma37@reddit
Agreed. Last time I rotated 2 tires I was sore for several days. They better be sickly or significantly older for me to stop and help.
Kash_TRD_PPD@reddit
One reason might be it was on a parking lot and not by the side of the road, so passersby didn’t see any urgency or personal safety issues here.
Extreme-Yesterday548@reddit
Yes they always give me the I got it thanks. Little do they know I have power tools and floor jack also tire repair kit in my trunk. Their loss.
CHIITALIAN@reddit
In the past I have stopped to help people stranded with a flat tire, but in today’s climate I don’t. You never know what might happen. What said person may have planned. It sucks that the world has turned into this. I have been yelled at by a woman for holding the door open for her.. I just gave up on helping people especially in the city where I live.
Fit_Chemistry_3807@reddit
Don’t know. I’ve offered to help a number of times. And still pick up hitchhikers too. But I guess that’s just me.
0peRightBehindYa@reddit
I used to. Now I'm too crippled to offer anything but emotional support, so I hang my head in shame and move along.
Significant-Ant-5677@reddit
“ I will conceded that I was much hotter at 22 than I am at 45, but that can't be the only reason.” 🤷♂️ It certainly can be.
ChiefKraut@reddit
I don't trust anybody in the modern world. Call me heartless, but I prefer my own safety
Agile_Season_6118@reddit
Depending on if I have time yes. Also pushed many cars off the road in my day.
justbrowzingthru@reddit
It’s fine if you want to change it yourself, but don’t expect others to come to your rescue.
The world has changed safety wise in 23 years. No one knows if you’re waiting there to rob them, have a gun, high on drugs, or what.
And people have seen too many cars get hit while broken down.
Plus AAA is less per year than what people spend at Starbucks or 7 brew in less than a month.
Capital_Intern1071@reddit
If they look like they need help.
SkylineFTW97@reddit
I've done it plenty of times. Despite being an introvert, I did roadside assistance professionally for a while (on top of having been a professional mechanic), so I'm used to carrying tools on me. Although many people are rather abrasive.
Granted in my experience, middle aged and older women are much friendlier and more appreciative of the help than younger women. And men, even when I was doing it as my job, would usually offer to help on top of being friendly. It was almost exclusively the young women who gave me the cold shoulder. Not to say they all did, but it was a coin flip with them whereas everyone else would be much more consistently friendly.
I've helped a lot of people who were in really bad situations, like they were stuck 2 states away from home and didn't have the money for a hotel if I couldn't fix it. I've changed a couple stsrters for people at the side of the road and in a couple underground parking garages. Did some alternators too. And I've done the hammer trick to coax life out of a dying starter for many more.
I'm still happy to do so, but fewer people seem to want the help.
gotcha640@reddit
I do. I have an impact, an air compressor, a plug kit, a bottle jack, and an old moving blanket in my trunk, along with a few other basic tools. I have all these tools, may as well use them.
I think I’m up to 7 this year.
First one was a nun who was moving to the convent near the museum, we saw her get the flat and pull over on the freeway, by the time we’d turned around she had made it to a gas station. My 11 year old daughter did the whole job, I was just there for QC and the heavy lifting. She set up the jack, took the weight off, used the impact to break the lug nuts loose, lifted the car, pulled the lug nuts off, I swapped wheels, she put the nuts back on, snugged them up, lowered the car, and torqued the nuts to 100ftlb.
Second was a lady living out of her car with three kids. She pulled in to the park we were playing at, my kids played with her kids, I found no spare tire, took her wheel and got a used tire put on it, and got her a spare.
Third was in the grocery store parking lot, person was about to drive away on a flat. I stopped them and changed it.
4 others.
I also pulled a CRV out of a ditch. Can’t offer that service anymore, I sold my Suburban and got a GTI.
Responsible-Race4764@reddit
I mean I've definitely drove past a dude with a flat tire and said "good luck bro"
Performer5309@reddit
My mom was 7 months pregnant with mutiples and had to change a Chevy truck tire bc no one would stop to help her. (Texas.) This was 40+ years ago. Same experi3nce minus pregnancy. And yes, I had to change my own damn tires.
monroe099@reddit
Like you said, you are a pro changing tires. If I see someone already doing what they suppose to ,I would just leave them and won’t stop.
Hyptisx@reddit
As a car guy, I’ll usually (at the very least) roll my window down and ask them if they’re good.
Lobotomized_Dolphin@reddit
If I'm already in the right lane and I'm going home without a job to get to and it seems like no one is working on changing the tire then yes, for sure. I have everything I need in my vehicle to do a tire repair and reinflate the tire, I probably don't even need to remove the tire from the car at all. If there's already someone working on the car I keep driving.
Seems like you know what you're doing, though? Maybe everyone who drove past you looked over and judged that you were a badass who was just doing work rather than someone who needed help. That should be a compliment rather than a source of angst because your not a damsel in distress any more. You would have told anyone who stopped that you had the situation handled. Can't have it both ways.
arihoenig@reddit
Cars haven't had spares for years, most people now are like "why is that crazy person taking their wheel off?"
Longjumping-Side5278@reddit
i’m a biker and i’ll always stop to help? maybe it’s the fact i’m a man so there’s ’less risk’, but to me and many others it feels like it’s the decent thing to do
Educational-Ad2063@reddit
I have to know how a accident makye valve stems go bad? I know they do. I had one go bad a couple weeks ago but that was the first one in my 45 years of driving.
DeiaMatias@reddit (OP)
I replied to this downthred somewhere and copy/pasted:
In my defense, I knew jack about cars at the time, so this could honestly be the tire guy blowing smoke up my a**, but something about the impact bent something that caused the hubcap to sit cockeyed. Eventually, it would rub against the valve stem and pop it off. After having to put the spare on in a VERY sketchy area of town (someone did offer to help, I said "no thanks" while gripping my tire iron), I just took the hubcap off and rolled around looking trashy until the car eventually got sideswiped off the interstate.
puppeto@reddit
Depends on area. If I’m in a rural area and see someone stranded I’ll probably ask them if they need help. In a city I usually won’t because help is usually a quick call away.
I’m usually traveling throughout Louisiana, Mississippi, or Alabama backroads when I do offer. Doesn’t hurt that I’m usually armed too with our lax gun laws. That’s not a flex just a reality that pretty much everyone around here is packing so never be unprepared should things sour.
easzy_slow@reddit
Women and older people. Always. Once we were on our way home down in SE Oklahoma mountains. To get home, there was the short way and the long way. I turned to go the long way and my wife asked me what are you doing? I don’t know, just decided to go this way. About 10 miles in there was a car pulled over and a man in at least his late 80’s was trying to change his tire. 95 degrees, high humidity. Red faced,soaked with sweat. I was in my long hair long beard phase, looked like a biker. Had my wife give him some water and told him to sit in the car in the ac. Changed his tire, put everything in the trunk. He got out and tried to offer me $100. Nope, someone last year stopped and helped my elderly parents. Just paying them back. They both were crying. The lady said I thought he would die out there. I told him someone would help.
doopies1986@reddit
I’m a dude in my 20s and now that I think about it, I have never had to change a tire. Not as a kid and not as an adult, having lived in both dense cities and suburbia.
I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of younger people just don’t know what to do. A lot of people can just call AAA and be done with it
DeiaMatias@reddit (OP)
This is so bizarre to me. My dad wouldn't let me take my driving test until I showed that I could change a ttire. His logic was that, as a woman, I was in far more risk if I had to wait around for a dude to help me.
Heh, my brother didn't learn to do it until he was in his 20s
doopies1986@reddit
Just times a changing! I’m a yuppie in Seattle and out of everyone I know living and working in this city, I wouldn’t trust more than a couple people to have any experience with that
Racamonkey_II@reddit
“I will conceded that I was much hotter at 22 than I am at 45, but that can't be the only reason.”
Lmao, that’s the only reason. Welcome to normal life.
benicebuddy@reddit
You changed a flat once a month because your valve stems were irreparably damaged from a wreck?
DeiaMatias@reddit (OP)
In my defense, I knew jack about cars at the time, so this could honestly be the tire guy blowing smoke up my a**, but something about the impact bent something that caused the hubcap to sit cockeyed. Eventually, it would rub against the valve stem and pop it off. After having to put the spare on in a VERY sketchy area of town (someone did offer to help, I said "no thanks" while gripping my tire iron), I just took the hubcap off and rolled around looking trashy until the car eventually got sideswiped off the interstate.
Longjumping_Lynx_972@reddit
I stop all the time. I would've stopped for you too.
keithrc@reddit
I assume now that everyone has a cellphone, and has someone to call.
Time_Explanation1212@reddit
I'm done a few times but not every time
Realistic-Arrival157@reddit
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least stop to ask if you needed help
sergioraamos@reddit
I used to, then someone told me to mind my own business lol So I stopped helping out honestly, not worth it. Let them pay for someone.
ButterscotchFit8175@reddit
I think there is too much distrust of strangers. You could be setting the good Samaritan up for a car jacking or worse. Plus, these days, so many people have AAA, roadside assistance on their car insurance, or with their credit card, and on the highway there is a numer to call and text fir roadside assistance. Everyone has a phone to get help from these sources plus friends and family.
Br0boc0p@reddit
Yes but that's because I always have a hydraulic jack and an impact in my car for my own use so I can get them on the road a lot faster than their bottle jack and tire tool. I've only personally had one flat in the 8 or so years since I started carrying those items but I had my tire swapped and was on my way so fast that it's worth carrying just in case.
hk4213@reddit
I have all sorts of roadside and emergency tools in the back of my car for this reason.
If I know the area and I can safely stop, I'll at least help get the car to a safer location for proper towing equipment can do their job safer.
I also grew up in rural Oregon and Montana... so I have experience self retrieving and pulling out of ditches or how to rope pull a car with a sedan.
ratrodder49@reddit
I stopped and gave a kid a ride yesterday. We had some big storms approaching and he had a couple miles at least to cover still so I gave him a lift to the edge of town.
I’ve stopped and offered to help a handful of times - we had a snow storm starting to set in, my wife saw a semi broken down on the side of the road on her way home so she picked me up and we took a few tools and asked if he needed help or a lift, said he already had a wrecker coming. Another time there was a guy in a Jeep on the side of the road out of gas, but he had his son bringing him a can.
Lumpy-Process-6878@reddit
Its common for robbers to fake being in a disabled vehicle. They rob who pulls over to help them.
Oftentimes, they use an innocent looking person as a decoy.
Gargravars_Shoes@reddit
Nope, it’s not that I wouldn’t help, but I honestly dont trust other drivers. Too many people texting and driving for me to put myself on the side of a road for someone I dont know.
Garth_DeWayne@reddit
If it's a dude? Absolutely no. If it's a younger couple? No, dude should be able to change a tire.
Older people or someone that doesn't appear physically able? Sure. Women? I'll offer.
Went to the hardware store on the weekend, dude was in the parking lot with a shredded trailer tire. I did my shopping and when I came out, this healthy 30 year old dude had an older gentleman out there basically doing the job for him and it was 95 degrees out.
There's just some things men should be able to do.
Funautotechnician1@reddit
I’ve done it tons of times!
Last time was this last winter. A couple in their late 70’s or early 80’s and freaking cold and windy. Like a 2002 Camry.
Everything was there but the spare was flat. I took it out air in it and went back and put it on for them. They sat in a warm car for me.
I was so happy to do it for them.
Far-Plastic-4171@reddit
HIghway helper dude stopped right as I want getting ready to tighten the lugs on my POS Dodge Ram on the side of the highway in the dead of winter in MN. I let him zip them tight with the impact.
Other than that nobody stopped.
DoctorMoebius@reddit
Ted Bundy ruined it for everyone
Adventurous_Grape279@reddit
I have one of those jumpstart batteries and I will help out anyone I see with a dead battery. Beyond that however I’m mostly dead weight from a car maintenance perspective.
Soithascometothistoo@reddit
The big reason for me is, I have no idea if it's legitimate or a serial killer plot. Nice try, Bundy.
We also are at the point where we know how to change a tire or you have a cell phone to call someone.
Maleficent-Ad-7339@reddit
Not for women I don't know, no matter how hot they are. I cannot allow them to toss 50yrs of feminism down the drain over an easily changed flat tire. You got this girl.
Your welcome ladies...
KayleeE330@reddit
Nope I don’t stop anymore. Too many people have been unalived or robbed that way for me to wanna stop
MortadellaKing@reddit
I used to stop and help people but the last 2 times were in the winter when someone was stuck. First one 2 guys, I have a truck with a winch so I went to pull them out, cop shows up and threatens me with all sorts of fines because I'm not a "licensed tow operator".
Second time, this was right in front of my own house ironically. Person stuck in the snow bank revving the shit out of her car. I offered to help as I was just coming home from work. She very clearly thought I was giving her the "ick" and so I just said okay, pulled into my driveway and went inside. I heard the car revving and spinning for another 2 hours until she finally called a tow truck.
So its not for a lack of wanting to help, people are just to fucking weird these days, so I just keep on driving now.
stupidfock@reddit
I never do alone. But pretty often when traveling with my race team we often stop to help people. Feels safer in a group and in that case we also just so happen to have any tool u could need lol.
Alone though, heck nah. Too many bad people use distress as bait
ivel33@reddit
Nah. I'm not getting kidnapped or stabbed or robbed. Not smart, I have a kid to get home to so I can't risk it. Everyone has a phone, they can call triple AAA like a modern human
Numerous_Writing6330@reddit
No. Not because im a bad human but because I don't have a car, I'm clueless woman, I don't even know how to change a flat tire, and I doubt I'd be of any help lol. I need to youtube it when I get a car, I don't even know what's in a cars engine lol
APGaming_reddit@reddit
No chance I'm stopping for anyone unfortunately. The modern world is pretty awful and everyone has cell phones so they can get help if they don't have a spare for some reason.
doobersthetitan@reddit
Nope...good way to get robbed and too much liability.
I've wanted to stop and offer help many times, but too many what ifs.
Working_Rest_1054@reddit
I used to. Until a couple of different folks broke down on the side of the road just sat in their car yammered on their phone acknowledging me with nothing but a look of contempt.
Now, most of the time, if they are in the car, I drive by, they will get their help virtually or after a while via their precious phone.
If I see someone trying or potentially in a dangerous situation, I will stop for a young person or an older person, but if your a fit male adult, you’re on your own, same as me.
For OP, if I was in the same parking lot, I might ask if you wanted a hand, but probably not if it looked like you had it well in hand. If you were clearly struggling, yes, I’d offer to help.
elquirk@reddit
Nope. Don’t want to be the subject of a Dateline. People should have AAA.
_synik@reddit
The difference is the years. Not on you, but on the driver's out there now. Many can't change a tire themselves, so they don't bother stopping.
There's not a good way to say this, but I stop almost every time I see someone, especially a woman, with a flat. I would want someone to help my wife, so I always offer assistance in as non-threatening a way as possible.
cdsbigsby@reddit
I have before, and I'm sure I will again, when I see someone with a flat and I don't really have anywhere to be and I don't have my kids in the car. It's not as big of a priority these days though because everyone has a cell phone they can call for help with and some newer cars don't even have spare tires anyway.
GalaganCoffee@reddit
Depends on my reason for driving atm, if the area seems suspect, am I alone, how they seem to be doing with it.
Firm maybe
lunchbox651@reddit
I'll help where I can but it depends what I'm doing at the time too, if I need to get somewhere urgently or something I won't pull up.
Ouller@reddit
I stop about 5 years ago after 3 people swore at me for asking, they wanted help. And one girl threatened to call the cops on me for stopping. She had a visually blow tire...
VTSAX_VTI@reddit
Fuck humans man
afraidofthe-dark@reddit
Depend where I gotta be and if I can tell that they are capable of changing a tire
JiveTurkey2727@reddit
Related story….
I went on a weekend hiking trip with friends a few hours from home, we took my car cus it had 4x4 even tho I had a tire plug (not exactly smart, I know). Got there fine, spent the night, hiked, came back, spent another night, went to head home in the morning and had a dead flat tire. Went to put on the spare tire but it was larger than the current tires I had on the car. An absolute Saint of a woman came by and drove us and the spare tire an hour away to the closet Walmart, waited with us to get the right tire on the rim, and drove us back to the campsite, all while giving commentary on the local food scene and hiking trails. I feel sorry to forget her name, but she was an angel.
LavishnessOk6635@reddit
People now have cel phones- that gives them the ability to call someone they know for help. I’ve stopped to help a few times and folks refused to put genie window down (I understand the fear). Pre cel-phone folks had to accept help - now they can call for help
theyoyomaster@reddit
I pulled over and helped someone last weekend. I also have a packout in my car with an impact and torque wrench. On the highway it’s often hard to tell if it’s a flat and worth stopping before it’s too late but if I have time I’ll definitely stop. As for risk, so long as there’s a safe place to park my car I’m good, but I’m absolutely parking in front of you so your car blocks mine from getting hit.
thyperson69@reddit
I've helped people on the side of the road before. Not as much as I used to, but still will if I have the time. Of course it's important to be cautious more now.
ThrowRAEv4me@reddit
I have before, recently was a family with a teenage dude in a cast. Worst part there was it was an expedition and they pulled off the road into the ditch so their jack wouldn’t get it high enough to get the tire off the ground. Luckily I wasn’t far from home so I ran home and got my floor jack.
I’ve helped push broken down cars off the roadway way more though. Nothing worse than your car broke down and everyone is just passing you honking.
HDauthentic@reddit
I have fairly recently
Chessdaddy_@reddit
Only if people look absolutely lost, otherwise they can handle it
rright24@reddit
I’m going to be totally honest here and say “sometimes” but usually only for elderly or for obviously helpless people. Most folks seem to rely on roadside service nowadays.
It also has to do with a few other factors like what you’re driving (not helping you, Tesla people, sorry), what you look like (ie, will you try to rob me or do you look generally crazy), and if there’s space to safely do the work/park my car. Also what my time schedule is like. Less people stop during commuting hours bc bystanders effect and lack of time I would posit.
Current-Nectarine505@reddit
I would (and have) stopped for older people with a puncture but not someone in their 40’s.
Additional-Device677@reddit
It would be interesting to see the responses if a male asked the same question
AlphaDisconnect@reddit
If I am on the job. No. If not on the job. Guarantee their spare is flat. And I have the answer.
Plenty_Surprise2593@reddit
Sign of the times
skudbeast@reddit
Everyone has cell phones, the habit of stopping to help took awhile to fade away is probably the main thing.
Society has got meaner/paranoid is my subjective take and might be part of it.
You may be driving a nicer car, people might stop to help someone in an old Corolla but not a new car... If you have something nicer than the people passing by you, you can afford AAA they may think to themselves.
DeiaMatias@reddit (OP)
9 year old Subaru, but it still looks nice. I will also concede that I wasn't in the nicest area of town, but not the ghetto or anything.
Bulocoo@reddit
Honestly, no.
I carry a fire extinguisher and a boo-boo kit and would stop for an accident or car fire.
But a flat tire, probably not. It's an inconvenience, not an emergency.
If it was night and remote I might stop and call in support. But the risk is up at night stopping for a random car.
My grandma carried a 32 in her purse. Her car broke down (in the 80s) at night and she wouldn't open the door until 2 cruisers were there.
Same reason people don t pick up hitchihckers any more.
AC-burg@reddit
I'm 40s myself regardless of attractiveness or sex I woukd stop to help. I helped a couple that were about to have the jack kick out on them. They had no idea what they were doing. On the flip side though I too have had no one stop or ask. I will admit at 6'2 most would assume I can take care of the situation on my own and they woukd be right
SadEfficiency6354@reddit
I think there are just so many complexities added in the past 10 years, and your ability to deal with the problem yourself has also increased so much in the past 10 years, that the equilibrium has shifted to not helping.
As an example, i recently had a bad alternator and i was just trying not to deal with it for one more day before the weekend so i could fix it myself.
My car wouldn’t stay on, and a guy with a tow truck asked me if i was okay. He was older.
There is a chance that he was gonna just hook me up, it was only a couple of blocks. But honestly? I had a huge Milwaukee battery in the car and some jumper cables. It just wasn’t worth the risk to me to even accept his help. I had at least 3 other ways out.
eldredo_M@reddit
I have.
Sideburn_Cookie_Man@reddit
About once a month, yep.