Missing living abroad
Posted by divina75@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 4 comments
hey everyone. looking for some insight here. i taught english in the south of spain through the NALCAP from september 2024-june 2025. i loved it so much… the weather, the people, the excitement of being in a new place. it was the first time i had genuinely felt independent and once i actually started to create community, i had to go home. (i tried to stay, but getting a company to sponsor your visa seemed unlikely and i needed money.) the first 6 months of being back home in the U.S was really difficult. reverse culture shock hit me hard and i often wished i had stayed in spain, despite being basically broke. recently, i’ve felt a lot better (less crying over missing life abroad). it seems to come in waves, but still causes me to feel great despair. eventually, i’d like to move to spain forever, but the difficulty of getting a visa is discouraging and that also makes me feel hopeless. for anyone who has lived abroad and is now living back home… does the nostalgia/longing to live in your abroad country ever go away?
Soccergirl1979@reddit
I think what you’re feeling is really normal. Spain was probably an amazing chapter of your life, but it’s also worth remembering that you experienced it under pretty unique circumstances. Teaching through NALCAP is very different from what “real life” long-term living abroad can look like. You were there for 10 months, likely working relatively few hours, with lots of freedom to travel, socialize, explore, and enjoy the excitement of a new culture. That can feel almost like an extended adventure phase of life, even if you still had responsibilities.
Coming back to the U.S. and returning to a more routine, work-focused reality can feel emotionally jarring by comparison. That doesn’t mean your experience in Spain wasn’t real or meaningful — it absolutely was — but nostalgia can sometimes idealize that period and make home feel extra disappointing. I think reverse culture shock after living abroad is incredibly common, especially after your first experience of independence and building community somewhere new.
Also, living somewhere permanently is very different from spending a year there under a temporary program. Every country eventually becomes “normal life” once bills, visas, bureaucracy, career pressure, and long-term stability enter the picture. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue Spain again someday, but I wouldn’t interpret your current longing as proof that you made the wrong decision by coming home.
Sufficient-Job7098@reddit
You loved being in a new place, you loved nice people, and feeling of independence. This can be found in many other places besides Spain.
Spain had major negatives: no doable legal status and not enough money to cover living expenses.
Focus on identifying new locations where you can be independent like you were in Spain without negatives of Spain.
divina75@reddit (OP)
it’s way deeper than what i mentioned. it’s also the lifestyle, the weather and the spanish culture that i deeply enjoyed. i know the salary is not ideal, but that’s not what i’m chasing after and i don’t have a desire to live in another country.
Sufficient-Job7098@reddit
No, I get it, there were more positives than you mentioned.
This doesn’t change the fact that in order to survive in location X you need some bare minimum: doable legal status, ability to cover minimum daily expenses plus ability to earn for very basic retirement. Not having those very basics covered is a major negative and will lead to a long term stress.
There are other locations that may have slightly less appealing culture but higher chance to obtain legal status and earn enough to cover basic needs.
It isn’t uncommon for people to compromise. Sure they may not get everything they want, but they can achieve some improvements, which is better than no improvements.
Good luck.