What should I do to improve the quality of my life?
Posted by Last_Telephone9787@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 48 comments
I (26F) live in the outskirts of London. To give a picture of my life, I work from home on the computer, but I walk my dog twice a day and I go to the gym so I’m not inside all day. I have friends, and I meet with them a couple of times a month to hang out or go out to eat. I don’t have a boyfriend because it’s so hard to meet people. I have hobbies, like pilates, reading and writing. I go on holiday a few times a year.
I enjoy my job, and I’m not depressed. I have friends, so I’m not lonely. But, I feel like my life is being wasted. Every day feels the same and I feel like there must be more to life but I don’t know what it is. I just feel a massive sense of lack, and boredom. I feel limited, in terms of what I’m experiencing and the world around me. London is expensive so I can’t afford to be constantly going out and doing things, but there surely must be things I am missing which would improve the quality of my life?
So my question is: What can I do while living in London to improve my routine so I feel less bored and more like I am making the most of my life?
(I’m new to Reddit so I apologise if this is in the wrong thread. Also thanks in advance for any answers)
Theunluckyone7@reddit
It's probably working from home
bars_and_plates@reddit
Why is the question "What can I do while living in London" e.g. "What can I do whilst doing exactly what I am doing now with tiny modifications"?
Why is the question not "Am I even doing the right thing at all"?
I feel as if your thrust is - how can I make my porridge taste like a full English? Maybe just fry some eggs and bacon and stop trying to square a circle?
MzHmmz@reddit
Sounds like maybe you're lacking much of a sense of purpose & meaning, like why are you doing the things you're doing, what mark are you leaving on the world, what makes your life meaningful?
I don't know what you do for work, but is it something that makes you feel like you're making a difference in the world, or where you feel a sense of vocation? Is it a job where you're working towards a future career goal you really want? Or is it "just a job"? Obviously when you're early in your career it's pretty common to just be doing something that earns you money, and at least you say you enjoy it so that's better than a lot of people your age! So I'm not necessarily saying "quit your job to do something more meaningful", but thinking about what you want from your career in the long term and gradually working towards that would probably help you feel a bit more of a sense of purpose, like you're actually aiming towards something.
Have you considered volunteering? Doing something to help others or make the world a better place would probably be another way to give you a bit more of a sense of meaning and purpose. Look at what's going on in your community and see if there's any causes you feel inspired to get involved with. Alternatively, how about turning one of your holidays into a volunteering trip? There are organisations that organise stuff like this, and it doesn't necessarily mean a big commitment where you stay somewhere for months and build a school in Africa or whatever, there are trips you can do for just a week or two. Could be a much more memorable & meaningful experience than a week on a beach or whatever!
Beneficial-Flow-7333@reddit
Have you thought about getting into a relationship or something?
beejiu@reddit
Get a job where you spend 5 days in the office. I've recently come to this conclusion myself.
Rafidhi110@reddit
Please explain?
beejiu@reddit
If you like being around people, meeting your friends twice a month just doesn't cut it. Spending 8 hours a day surrounded by colleagues is probably going to make you happier.
AggressiveResist8615@reddit
Jesus that sound awful.
SlaveToNoTrend@reddit
Working from home is isolation. I'd guess this is the source of your feelings.
Infinite-Rest-1010@reddit
Absolutely agree. When I go into the office I feel a lot more meaning to my work. People are social creatures
AggressiveResist8615@reddit
That doesn't apply to everyone. Stop projecting what suits you onto others.
Spanner1993@reddit
Yes, boss.
Spanner1993@reddit
Im definitely not, im a solitary creature. People absolutely drain the life out of me, apart from my wife & kids and maybe half a dozen select friends
Different strokes for different folks
PierreTheTRex@reddit
I think wife and kids make a huge difference, there's someone at home to interact with. When you're single and work remotely you can genuinely spend days without interacting with people properly, that's not healthy
Spanner1993@reddit
Fair enough. I was more getting it the social creatures aspect, some people are fine on their own
PierreTheTRex@reddit
Very few people are truly fine on their own imo, some people do enjoy alone time a lot more than others but I think being lonely can affect almost everyone at some point
Moppy6686@reddit
Absolutely agree. I'm hybrid and going into the office is soul sucking.
I'm surrounded by people I don't like and every moment in the office feels meaningless. Why I am I here? What was the point in going in?
cognitiveglitch@reddit
I guess it's different strokes for different folks and also very dependant on the culture and environment of the office.
I remote work (the office is a 2h drive away) but when I do get to spend a couple of days there every now and again, I love seeing everyone in person.
Spanner1993@reddit
It is the way, man. Self sufficient, self reliant, self regulating. If youre not one of my people, kindly fuck off
MostFortune1093@reddit
I'm not a medical professional but I think it's possible that you are a bit depressed.
You could maybe try volunteering. It would allow you to get out more without spending too much money, you could meet new people and do something meaningful that would give you a sense of purpose.
Also try spending more time in nature if you can. Big cities can be really depressing.
Live-Independent-416@reddit
Easy have a kid - its a whole different world. You will be different, it will immedatley change you.. Youll be too tired to want more. But its the best.
woollover@reddit
I personally find my faith fills that need for something deeper, a readon for being, i know it's not a popular answer but being a Christian anchors my life, and I couldn't be without it. It gives me hope, and security in a world that takes both from people too easily.
letsgetevil66@reddit
If you can afford it , do more things that you really want to do even if you have to go alone . Don’t wait to have someone to do things with . If you like live music and you see a band or artists you like are on tour book the ticket, if you want to travel book a weekend city break somewhere to start with , or just anything that you really want to do but are put off at the thought of doing it solo. You will feel such an immense sense of achievement and fulfilment when you realise you are your best friend and you can do anything ! Not being weighed down by a relationship gives you so much freedom , embrace it. Also you are still super young and have your whole life ahead of you don’t start worrying about wasting your life just yet . You are doing just fine 🙏
hummus710@reddit
I’d recommend doing something that keeps you busy, sort of a side venture. I’ve been doing wfh for 4 years now but my side quests keep me happy and busy.
Expensive-Draw-6897@reddit
Try free things like the museums. Take your time in each one. Save money by walking - even try coming of the tube a stop early or walking to a further away stop. I noticed that each tube stop is like a village with their individual parts and quirks.
You seen pretty set in life. If you are looking for a partner, ask yourself how they would seek you out.
Formal-Apartment7715@reddit
Ive been WFH since covid. I love it but I'm aware it has slowly taken away my social side. My job is demanding so I'm working 100% of the time, so no coasting. I am currently at 2 hybrid jobs but have not applied due go the requirement to go into the office 2 days a week. Mentally I know I need to go back... but I appreciate the convenience too much even to my own detriment
Spanner1993@reddit
Have a look at your social media usage.
Constantly seeing people 'living' their big grand online life on Insta or Tictok, we can't help comparing our own life/self and we feel like we're missing out on something. Its fabricated, its not real.
Give it a go for a couple of weeks, you can always download the apps again if you dont feel a difference
Reddit____user___@reddit
Are you arty at all ?
Have you ever drawn or painted ?
ImNotShy1226@reddit
What are some things you wanted to do as a child? Or things you dropped because life came in? Languages, reading sodcfic genres - writing, board games, any niche hobbies? Gym could lead to calisthenics, running club? Baking, cooking different cuisines, look at adult courses in colleges near you. I joined sewing and it was fun, I am sure theres a variety. Jewellery design, cersmics, photography
Frequent-Yoghurt3098@reddit
You need love. That’ll put a spring in your step.
I’m not suggesting doing anything drastic or even going on dating websites (they can be risky) but just be more open to communication and physical attraction.
Special-Audience-426@reddit
Imagine yourself in 50 years sitting around with your grandchildren. What stories would you want to tell them about the things you experienced and achieved?
Do those things.
BooksSmartt@reddit
Like others are saying, I think it might be the remote job. I’m quite introvert and started working remotely a few months ago. It’s great to have the flexibility but I feel pretty isolated. I see friends etc and chat to flatmates but it’s not the same. I prefer this job and wouldn’t go back to my office one, but I think I’m lacking the novelty of each day. It’s the water cooler convos that genuinely make you feel like you’re in a community. I don’t think it matters where you’re living currently because you’ll just feel the same way in a diff place. I live in north London with easy access to central and yet still feel like my quality of life isn’t good. But by all means if you want to try a diff environment then do! For me, I’ve tried to get out of my rut by going to cafes, taking a walk during the day. Also something to work towards, like gym (know you said already) but maybe a group class!!
adamjames777@reddit
You have to really think about what’s giving you this feeling of missing out? Is it social media? Are you looking at the lives of people online and comparing it to your own? Because ofcourse that’s a very bad idea given social media is about as far from reality as you can get!
If not perhaps it’s the people around you, your friends and family, their lives will be like yours, the results of their choices, and they’ll all have the same worries and insecurities that you do.
By all accounts you’re extremely lucky to have the lift you do, a job you enjoy and an active social life, you’re a part of the world and I’m sure a positive facet of many peoples lives, what more could you want from life?
It’s that question you really have to answer before embarking upon any chances, without a clear answer you can’t have a clear direction and it’s very easy when life is good to convince yourself you want ‘more’.
bcfng@reddit
This was me a few years back.
My way was cheap flights and solo travels, so you always have something to look forward to.
epicpownage1234@reddit
I work from home, I do cover shifts at a local pub once or twice a month. Get's me out the house, ultra social environment, good for confidence, meet people you either work with or people chatting you up. Even if that alone doesn't fulfil you it definitely gives me outgoing energy for a couple weeks so that's why I like to do it a few times a month. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find a similar arrangement just to cover for people who are sick or using holiday, or for busy weekends like bank holiday etc.
Yiyiyiyu@reddit
Buy the book the artists way, and then do it all. You will find yourself - and the you that is found will have the answers to all these questions. You have joys, passions, wants desires, questions, curiosities, etc. and you don’t have a crystal ball to see into your own soul to discover what they are. That book will help you easily and quickly discover and your life will change completely ❤️🔥🤘💪
Fatal-Eggs2024@reddit
Take a creative writing class. Grow vegetables. Join a distance running club. Sing karaoke.
the-green-dahlia@reddit
I think the question is what you feel you’re lacking? Is it creativity, adventures, connection, or even just stimulating conversations? Or something else entirely? Depending on the answer, different things may be appealing.
If you’re lacking creativity, you might enjoy street photography and there are communities of photographers you could join if you wanted. Or maybe trying different creative hobbies like embroidery, painting, or polymer clay.
If you’re lacking adventures, perhaps pick a random place on the map every weekend and visit there, try a new coffee shop. Combine with other activities like take some photos, paint a picture there. It could become a project of documenting parts of London in your style.
You said you have friends, but do you feel you have a good connection with them? If not, perhaps focus on joining social groups to build connections. Book clubs or writing groups could be a good place to start. What kind of writing do you do?
If you’re lacking stimulating conversations, perhaps join some interesting Reddit subs, though be wary as there are some questionable subs on here lol. I have a big interest in style and philosophy so engage on those subs, and we have some brilliant conversations.
As for “something else”, it could be something more personal to you. For me, I need a sense that I am giving back and so I volunteer a lot and that improves the quality of my life and hopefully those I support. It doesn’t need to be something big if you work full time.
The one thing I’d say is that adult life is often inherently quite boring and we have to find ways to create small pockets of joy in our life.
Efficient_Quiet2260@reddit
It’s not too late to explore. If I were 26 again I’d head somewhere safe like Japan. The cost of exploring is relative, especially with family.
Fit_General7058@reddit
Go into the office. You see life on the way in, the way out, while there. You see what's new, old, what others are doing. Best thing is these things are mercurial, unlike your life, which is predictable.
GoldenGolgis@reddit
You need a passion, and London is a great place to find yours! Doesn’t have to be expensive: art, history, science, literature. Music maybe a bit more expensive for lessons or gigs, but there’ll be community things to try. If you’re not sure, maybe make it an adventure to try one new thing a month if that’s manageable. Book a tour or exhibition or a talk. Have fun!
Jaded_Valuable439@reddit
I don’t wanna diagnose or sound judgy, but you say you’re not depressed and you have loads of things you enjoy and then go on to say ‘I’m feeling a massive sense of lack and boredom’
Sounds like you might be a little depressed tbh my friend. Usually people will say they don’t go out, don’t have hobbies, work is crap… you’re saying the opposite but you don’t know why you feel bored?
It just sounds like maybe you’re stagnating a bit and you need to change it up.
Based on what you’re saying as well it sounds like you might wanna travel - go and experience the world instead of just ‘carrying on’.
Fit_Possibility8496@reddit
Yeah capitalism fucking sucks
idkdamd@reddit
Sounds like you need more interesting/exciting friends. I see my friends almost everyday. Similar age to you. The meaning of life is community and social connection.
Sure-Butterscotch290@reddit
What do you see as your goals in life and is there any way you can work towards those goals daily/weekly/monthly in your life? Those could be anything as big as wanting to be married and have kids, career aspirations, learning a language or a skill etc. Dating is hard, so I feel you on that one, but if it was something you wanted to do, putting yourself out there on dating apps could be a move for you. Maybe there is a tech or something near you that would allow you to pick up another skill or improve on one you have.
When I am not feeling very fulfilled in life, I try to think about what would have made childhood me feel fulfilled. Making more time for the things that truly bring you joy can also make life feel more meaningful. Taking time to be creative or playful is a wonderful thing.
Lastly, are you feeling fulfilled in your job? Do you like your coworkers? Do you feel challenged in a healthy way? Does it contribute towards your own personal goals in some way? If you’re feeling not so good about your job, it may be time to think about a career change. You’re young and have loads of time to try things
OddPerspective9833@reddit
Move more central or leave London altogether
Correct_Elk2320@reddit
Learn a new skill, push the boundary a bit. Remind yourself what you wanted to learn as a kid to spark some new interests. It really does help to be passionate about things. Or get a pet:-)
EntrepreneurHead7133@reddit
OP has a dog