ULPT How to get rid of an annoying street musician ?
Posted by alecpu@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 53 comments
I live near a busy road with a lot of tall buildings and a park, so the acoustics of the place are pretty loud as is. For the past week some guy decided to become a street musician at the crosswalk right outside the parking lot of a store. He is playing a single chord progression on the saxophone for like 8 hours a day.
I work from home and are a student and have exams coming up, so pretty much i'm home almost the whole day. The music is blasting in my room and i hear it as the dude is playing 10 meters away from me. Same melody for 8 hours. How is this even possible ?
Yesterday i went to speak with him and told him that this is not a great place and even tried to convince him to go to play at another place because there are more people there. He agreed and went away. He is back today. It's a work day, there aren't any people passing by him even to give him money. Should i just hope that he doesn't like that fact and goes away? Should i call the cops? I'm out of ideas. If i throw something stinky there he will just move to the benches at the park, which is just as close to my window
Legitimate-Web-5540@reddit
Make it a duet. Get a slide trombone. Learn to play it while standing next to him.
Legitimate-Web-5540@reddit
Piss disc.
zomgitsduke@reddit
If you can point a speaker out your window in their direction and play BETTER saxaphone music, that might encourage them to move away from you.
Demander850@reddit
Careless Whisper
Legitimate-Web-5540@reddit
Sexy Sax Man!!!
noseofzarr@reddit
Some Roland Kirk should do the trick
Ok_Two_2604@reddit
Yakkity Sax eight hours a day
slamongo@reddit
Cbat by Hudson Mohawke
Available-Gain8732@reddit
Sergio!
lucidgroove@reddit
Make an official looking sign banning live music in that area.
But also, call in noise complaints. Bonus if you can get your neighbors to do it too.
alecpu@reddit (OP)
I called cops, in my country its only illegal to be noisy in the afternoon for 2 hours and that's i excluding the evening. I called one line for comolains, they didn't send anyone and I found a number of the local police officer, but he told me I I was out of the time frame so they can't do anything.
DreSledge@reddit
Spend a day recording his music, then when he comes back the next day, play it loudly out the window while he is playing, but play it with about a 5-7 second lag
SuitableHope7813@reddit
After recording his music for a day and releasing it on Spotify…he’ll be forced to leave, spend months re-recording, doing promotional tours and movie release on Disney+ for “his version”.
gianf@reddit
THIS IS A COPY/PASTE OF A POST FROM 2016.
For some reason I can't get its lonk, but if you copy/paste the content of the post in Google you'll find it.
Let's stop feeding the bots!
Commercial_Bend9203@reddit
Tell him everything you said here? I mean if you explain the situation to him, as you did to us, he might leave without all the theatrics.
Otherwise call the police for a noise complaint?
Heavy-Interaction548@reddit
Blast the sound of a porno from your window if he's so close to you.
ambiguous-light@reddit
Nah youll get the cops called on you.
Grant_Winner_Extra@reddit
Amen Brother. This is The Way.
eyetalktoomuch@reddit
Play crying baby sounds. Then after a bit go out all disheveled and tell him you have a newborn at home and are desperate for rest.
ChuckYeagerWV@reddit
If I suggested what I'd do I'd get a slap on the wrist.Rocket over and shoot the breeze with him.
Dasrule@reddit
Walk up to him. Drop trout and piss right in his donation box. Walk away. Repeat until he gets the point.
Dragon_Small_Z@reddit
Like... you pee on the fish?
CountryBoyCanSurvive@reddit
In the fish, obviously
encrcne@reddit
Hell yeah
I_Want_A_Ribeye@reddit
Tip him with a piss disc
UntestedMethod@reddit
His roommates/family probably don't want him practicing at home for the same reasons you don't want him practicing on the street near your window.
As far as how to get rid of him, I can't think of much. Maybe dress in a trenchcoat with wide brim hat and dark sunglasses. Emerge mysteriously from the bushes or alleyway behind where he's practicing. Offer him a gift an old jazz musician secret you learned from one of the great pioneers of Chicago style jazz saxophone. Push out your best inner salesman and do not take no for an answer. When they accept, put on your procedural gloves, open your briefcase, produce the disc of frozen piss, and place it over the horn opening of the saxophone while leaning in and tapping it once gently with a single finger tip followed by a sneaky underhand grab between the bell and elbow to give a firm shake and wiggle for the shards to slide down into the instrument. After this you can give him a couple gentle taps on the cheek and say something encouraging like "now you be a good boy now right son."
Zailema0s@reddit
Tell him to get gud and that Lisa from the simpsons plays better than he does.
Riflemaiden1992@reddit
Go to a sporting goods store and buy a few bottles of deer piss. Hunters use the pee from does to attract bucks. It's pungent and smells really REALLY bad. Douse the area with it.
Super_Bad6238@reddit
Tell him you walked Bob Dylan on stage in 1975 while carrying a trash bag.
OkResearcher7839@reddit
Tell him youve earned the right to say it and then ask him who the fuck are you
youenjoymikeself@reddit
I had to scroll too far for this comment. Thanks
freelancer7216@reddit
Pour used cooking oil all over where he stands.
Radiant-Security-347@reddit
dude can play chords on a sax? sign that man!
tendercanary@reddit
I used to be a street performer for a bit
Either call the cops though this is really mean and they end up following us around the city and not just off the one area. Blast music out your window. Put a sign that says "please play elsewhere at x-y time' in his usual spot. He will probably know that it is you but will also probably listen,
mslisath@reddit
That sounds like the scammer musicians that play canned music on a speaker and pretend to play.
Put a speaker with fart noises facing him and let er rip
Wwwweeeeeeee@reddit
Sugar. Granulated sugar.
Sprinkle it everywhere to attract ants.
Millions and millions of ants that crawl all over him.
Apply daily wherever he stands before he shows up.
It works.
john_the_fetch@reddit
He wants to annoy the man. Not kill him slowly to a thousand tiny ant bites.
/s
Rubycon_@reddit
Depending on the area, I am not sure about parks, but the office building I worked at used to have this guy who'd dress in full regalia/kilt and play Scotland the Brave over and over again on his bagpipes for hours. I finally called the city and someone came and told him he had to move along.
I also reported a local cafe in a mixed residential area that would blare music OUTSIDE on loud speakers and have overly loud comedy/entertainment events that didn't require a microphone because it was such a tiny area. I tried multiple times to contact them via their website and instagram and was roundly ignored. They would go well past 10:30 PM. I took a recording with my decibel meter and looked up that they had none of the required permits filed and reported them to the city. I have not heard a peep from them since.
zoppaTheDim@reddit
Move out of the city, you’re not suited for it.
alecpu@reddit (OP)
i would have to move countries, because where i live this city is only liveable place in terms of social life and job prospects.
zoppaTheDim@reddit
Buy yourself ear plugs then.
alecpu@reddit (OP)
i hear him even with ear plugs dude. The acoustics of this area are so loud he sounds like is playing 10 meters from me
The_best_is_yet@reddit
Wait can you put stinky stuff in a lot of spots he might go for? Maybe he’ll give up after trying a few. Maybe not since he can play the same 3 cord progressions for 8 hours but it’s worth a try.
Tronracer@reddit
Throw bird seed in the general area where he is.
Hide a tube of PVC with shrimp inserted into it.
Point a speaker with a 2 second delay to play his own music back to him on delay.
Living_Associate_611@reddit
You don’t even need the tube. Just chuck shrimp everywhere on the sidewalk. Chum the waters.
Tronracer@reddit
With all the birds being attracted by the bird seed, I figured they would just eat the shrimp too.
McDonald1977@reddit
Stop showering, take up harmonica, who knows you’ll make a friend or an enemy
Erafir@reddit
Get a pa system and everytime you walk by the window say how awful he is at playing in it
Bratchan@reddit
Spill fox piss or fish fertilizer where he likes to play and a couple other spots in the morning before he shows up. You just got a smell instead of loud music!
Empty__Jay@reddit
Stand next to him with a sign
"Don't give him money. Doing so just encourages him to come back."
emmiepsykc@reddit
As an occasional busker: this is the opposite of true.
I've considered flying a sign that reads "contrary to popular belief, throwing money at the problem will make me go away," but I don't think most people would get the joke.
himitsuuu@reddit
Piss disks around where he stands.
CttCJim@reddit
Call your bylaw officer to ask about busking permits