What was the thing you regret doing in school, and why?
Posted by SunnyShineKitty88@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 242 comments
It could be for any reason, but I was rude and selfish one day. My Year 11 class went to a careers fair and saw my mum and nan waving. I screamed and cried like a toddler in front of the other students and teachers because I didn’t want them there. My careers teacher did say she’d bring some leaflets for me to take home, I promise. I saw them walking away and knew it was wrong. I shouted their names, but it was too late, and I cried while they left. When I got home, she wasn’t happy and was clearly embarrassed and angry. A year later, I cried in Sixth Form as I saw Year 11 going to a careers fair in the corridor. I did try to tell the head of Sixth Form, but she didn’t understand, and I was forced to make another excuse to cover it up. It was my fault; I was a teenager at the time, and I still regret it. but only my careers teacher didn’t act that way to tell to go home to make me feel better, I think she’s made worse.
What’s yours?
PenguinsAndPurcell@reddit
I am SO CONFUSED by your story.
Why did you scream and cry because you saw your mum and nan at a careers fair?
'My careers teacher did say she’d bring some leaflets for me to take home, I promise.' You promise what??
'but only my careers teacher didn’t act that way to tell to go home to make me feel better, I think she’s made worse.' What does this sentence mean???
Why did you cry again a year later????
What did your careers teacher do to make it worse?????
SunnyShineKitty88@reddit (OP)
When we got to the reception, a friend from another class was there. There were two Year 11 groups who came to me, saying, 'Your mom and nan are here.' I cried and went behind the wall. In contrast, they said, "Don’t be embarrassed," and then my career teacher told them she would give them some leaflets. I promise, I saw them turn and walk away as I tried to shout at them to come back. My class teaching assistant went to the nearest stand with a friendly man, and a woman said she’s interested in doing care. It was a leaflet for elderly care when I wanted to do childcare. During the day, I was a little looking about, but I was still guilty. Going back in the minibus, I asked what I did, and I don’t remember much when I was back to go, but my career teacher said, " Are you now happy? I Bring that leaflet home with you, I promise them. I wanted to say, " What did you do that? But I didn’t want to cause more embarrassment or even get into trouble for it. Once I got off the bus, I said to a friend, "Here we go." I knew what was going to happen. She was definitely angry with me and punished me by not attending a fireworks event. I cried when I got home. My older sister said you not just embarrassed her you hurt her, I live with that and a year later I tried to tell someone in The sixth form why I was upset and crying, We had a new career teacher by then as a another left because she moved to Manchester for fresh start, She couldn’t understand when I tried to explain but cover up with a story about a boy I liked instead, One of thing I regret everyday since and what if I didn’t do it I wonder what I life would’ve been like today if I got a right education and job since leaving school and not drinking or anything like that, Sorry for The long story.
ChoreomaniacCat@reddit
I think OP was embarrassed that their mum and nan were present in front of their peers? But surely screaming and crying in front of the peers would be more embarrassing and draw way more attention to the mum and nan who were just waving?
Upstairs_Hope_2297@reddit
I think OP has SEN.
Arny2103@reddit
Praying that OP responds to this or updates her post.
BlackberryMelodic567@reddit
Not taking it seriously enough.
YodaShagsDarthVader@reddit
Just being an arsehole then wondering why no-one liked me.
Also, girl I had a massive crush on once said she liked my haircut. I said I liked hers as well and proceeded to grab some of her hair and rip it out. Not a pulling technique I can recommend.
-Gay-_-@reddit
got that miles morales technique... 😭
LatterNet2831@reddit
Is your name Miles Morales by any chance
underthe_raydar@reddit
I am feeding my baby to sleep and have woken her laughing at this.
Lufc87@reddit
In a club once a mate of mine got approached by a girl. Unfortunately he was wankered and when trying to lean in to talk to her he basically headbutted her. Unsurprisingly that was the end of their time together.
YodaShagsDarthVader@reddit
I can't see my approach getting me anywhere in a club other then kicked out.
Lufc87@reddit
Probably depends on the type of club 😉
EepyPrincessKitten@reddit
This is so real . Mine is no where near as bad but it’s like a moment where you do something and genuinely have no idea why you did it lol. We were blowing bubbles in science class in year 12 for some reason and I just threw the bubble mixture all over the table and my teacher. I literally have 0 idea why I did that, like it didn’t even enter my brain before I had already done it. But anyways i’m diagnosed with adhd now so maybe that explains it 😭😂
username994743@reddit
oh shit, why 😭
YodaShagsDarthVader@reddit
Absolutely not a clue what was going through my head. Not my finest hour.
blueroses8000@reddit
I feel like I knew a couple of chaotic people like this at school. It was entertaining but I do wonder what happened to them.
YodaShagsDarthVader@reddit
I mean, I haven't tried the old "yank hair out of a birds scalp" technique since I left school so hoping I've become somewhat more normal.
WalkingMaggotFood@reddit
I regret not appreciating the value of education. I later saw how people Asia sometimes find it hard to get a good education and how they treasure such opportunities when they come their way. When I was in school, the emphasis was always, “If you don’t study well, you won’t get a good job.” There was no emphasis on the value of education and knowledge. I regret I didn’t come to see that until later in life.
Life-Gas-8965@reddit
Yeah I feel this. It's wild how they drill the "get a good job" thing into you but never really sell you on learning being actually interesting. Took me way too long to realise school could've been fun if I'd just looked at it differently.
HomemadeCatheter@reddit
For what it’s worth, they’re doing it just to get a job too.
blueroses8000@reddit
They are but it also stems from being taught since you’re young about the value of education, that yes it will get you a good job literally, but also that it’s something very valuable and precious to have in general and to always aim towards. It’s seen as something that will move worlds for you in those countries, gains your respect and honour and to not have it is a huge loss to rectify.
HomemadeCatheter@reddit
I have taught in two Asian countries and it’s more of a less of respect(i.e you will be a bin man) than gaining honour
PercySmith@reddit
This is mine and I think it's common. I think most people don't value education fully until they hit their 30s/40s and suddenly start reading/learning for its own sake, wishing they learnt a language properly when in school rather than feeling like they were forced to learn something that wasn't practical in their lives fe at the time.
WalkingMaggotFood@reddit
I agree, but if it was a cultural failing of the time and place (80’s and 90’s UK) it would be important to recognise it as such so that steps can be made to rectify it for this and future generations of young Brits.
GizmoMechanism@reddit
Yeah it's true, I feel like because of studying for exams it's just drills of material and burns you out quick so you don't wanna learn anything again. Coursework is generally better because it actually does teach you a little bit about the subject as it is more relaxed and allows you to actually take in the information. No one actually cares if you learn anything it's just about a grade at the end of the day.
gentletonberry@reddit
This hits hard. There were so many interesting topics I could have learned more about when I had the time and resources that were available to me then. You can do your own reading and research as an adult, sure, but the demands on your time and energy make it much harder to do, especially alone.
WalkingMaggotFood@reddit
Yes, also the plasticity of mind when one is young and the general ability to learn is far greater than in adulthood. Also, when it was absent as a child, the felt sense of education being important doesn’t seem to hit as hard, or go as deep. Even now, many of my Asian friends cherish learning more than I do, I’m sad to say.
St2Crank@reddit
Is it just me or does OP’s story make zero sense?
blueroses8000@reddit
I don’t get it at all. I sort of understood they were embarrassed their mum and nan turned up so they screamed and cried like a toddler (which is far more embarrassing as a 16 year old surely) which made them leave, but then I’m lost.
The teacher said she’d bring leaflets? She cried when they left now? So she regretted it I think?
But then crying again a year later because other people were going to the same thing has me totally lost. And the head of year is rightfully lost too.
And then concluding the careers teacher was to blame for all this?
ChoreomaniacCat@reddit
Yeah, it's confusing to follow. I think the teacher offering leaflets for OP to take home was maybe them saying he/she could leave since they were having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the careers fair, so could take leaflets home to look at and excuse themselves if they weren't in a good state to continue?
Not sure how it's then the teacher's fault a year later when OP broke down again seeing other students going to the careers fair, especially if that teacher was the one who told OP to go home and take care of himself/herself? Very odd.
louilou96@reddit
I am SO confused by it. Surely screaming and crying at like 15 years old is more embarrassing than your mum being somewhere? And then what the mum was devastated about it?
DisloyalMouse@reddit
Maybe they were hoping to get careers advice on a really embarrassing career? But I have no idea what kind of embarrassing career would appear at a careers fair lol
bababababoos@reddit
Not just you.
WeeklyPermission239@reddit
Trying to be the 'right' kind of bullied kid (not fighting back, telling a teacher, always being nice) because that's what I was taught.
Well, they blamed me anyway. And so did my parents. The bullies were my only former friends so I didn't have anyone.
Should have stuck up for myself because nobody else did.
Salty_Nothing5466@reddit
Hard agree. Bullying only stopped for me when I finally got to the end of my tether after years of enduring it and was about to have my head put in a toilet. I lost it and beat the shit out of that girl and it stopped forever more from everyone
CoffeeeGoblin@reddit
Yeah unfortunately the sad truth is and a truth people like to bury their heads in the sand over is sometimes the only course of action is taking matters into you own hands and sending a message. Some people need to made examples of. Society likes to drill it into that violence is always bad because most of society are cowards and thats why we so many douchebags walking around, theyve never been punched in the mouth.
Icy_Place_5785@reddit
I presume this “roll over and don’t make a fuss” approach to bullying victims is still the norm in schools these days? (I finished 20+ years ago)
OrangeBeast01@reddit
Yes it does still prevail. My 9 year old was pinned into the corner of a toilet cubicle by 2 of his classmates and choked to the point he had bruises and hand prints around his neck. He bit one of them on the bicep until he was let go, which obviously left nasty bite marks.
I was called into school and asked if I consented to my son having a talk with a community support officer, to remind them that this kind of behaviour isn't tolerated.
I told them, in kinder words, to absolutely fuck off. They knew he retaliated because he had no choice, but they still saw him as much of a problem as the other 2 (bigger) children. I told them I will always tell my kids to fight back when in that kind of situation, and the head teacher said "I am sorry you feel that way". I walked out. It makes my blood boil that my son was treated the same way as 2 bullies.
They've never bothered him again.
WeeklyPermission239@reddit
Wtf, that is an insane incident. I am so sorry for your child. At the school I work at, this would have resulted in safeguarding referrals, fixed term exclusions and possibly police involvement (for the perpetrators obviously). I hope they dealt with it properly?!
Spanner1993@reddit
Are you leaving me comments then deleting them? I get a notification youre rattling your cage again but don't see it on the thread?
OrangeBeast01@reddit
Thanks, I'm not sure they dealt with it properly at all, they said they would keep them separated but I don't think there were any punishments beyond a telling off, and I don't know if the other 2 boys parents gave consent for the CMO either way.
Imagine teaching a young child you're in trouble with the police because you defended yourself. I actually pointed out the law regarding lawful defense, and they told me they don't want to teach children to be violent in any way shape or form.
donalmacc@reddit
If they don’t want to teach children to be violent then they need to punish the ones who started the incident.
lotusbiscoffbaby@reddit
Unfortunately, I’ve heard most teachers don’t report or even take the victims seriously because they simply don’t care.
I was also bullied in school for as long I could remember. I was also a crybaby and in turn, most teachers never comforted me or were annoyed by me being so “emotional”.
I was always told to be the bigger person because according to them, I was giving them the reaction they wanted when I’d cry my eyes out from their constant tormenting.
In the end, it caused me to develop a disdain for teachers in general. I never formed a personal relationship with any teacher because I didn’t trust them.
By Year 11, I was so tired from it all and I just wanted to leave. It was hurtful, especially as a black girl. My biggest bullies were people from my own demographic who also looked like me.
None of them had an ounce of empathy when it came to my feelings. I wish people would stop picking professions that require empathy when they don’t have it!!!!
Consistent-Pirate-23@reddit
I had exactly the same reactions from teachers, nearly 25 years earlier.
It was obvious they either didn’t care or didn’t know what it was like from the inside. My parents would say “school is the best time of your life”, I’m glad they were wrong.
Wouldn’t surprise me if the other kids sensed I was autistic and singled me out for that
Psychological_Ad853@reddit
they never do, when i was in primary school (20+ years ago now) a kid picked on me for years, was the biggest in my year and i was the smallest. Was from a wealthy family while my family was absolutely rock bottom poor.. i couldn’t really fight back as i was so small and weak, then the very day MJ died (he was a big MJ fan.) he attacked me because he was “sad” about it, it was also a day we were asked to bring in tins to donate.. i ended up walloping him in the head with a tin of beans (they were in a bag, so had a lot of force behind them.) he ended up in hospital, i wasn’t really disciplined because they’d known about the bullying for years and did nothing about it (dint even tell my parents.) i did get told off but it wasnt as much of a bollocking as i expected or would expect now.
Basically it escalted majorly to the point one of us ended up in hospital with a massively swollen head and concussion getting xrays and such because they never intervened sooner despite the bullying against me being openly visible.
MermaidPigeon@reddit
Sorry this happened to your boy :( I can’t imagine your rage. I was choked on the way home from school once when I was 8. Back then it was normal for kids to walk home alone as I only lived 5 min away and a lot of other kids would walk this way. I almost passed out. I was the quiet kid, never said a word to anyone, this is why he targeted me. I told my mum who told the school but nothing was done. Can I advise going to this kids parents house and having a calm conversation with them? I was bullied through out primary school and would tell my mum. She went to the school but nothing would ever be done so she gave up. It sounds immature but I resented her for that. I would think “why would my mum make me go somewhere I hate? I’m not learning anything? She must not want me around” and I stoped telling her every-time I was hurt. I remember asking her “why are you not going to speak to there parents? Why are you not stopping me being hurt?” I’m not 100% on this but from what I have seen, in America this is what a lot of parents do, they go to talk with the students parents. I think this would help here as the likeliness of teachers here telling the parents of the bully is very low. I’m going on now but I also remember in secondary school I saw one of my bully’s big sister and as she was walking past with her friends she said “you see that girl (me) she used to bully my little brother)” it was the other way around but this is what happens when it’s the teacher that tells the bully’s parents. The bully has an opportunity to twist the story.
LlamaDrama007@reddit
Confronting the parents, especially as a lone woman (you only mention your Mum) is potentially extremely dangerous.
Not to mention could be construed as harassment/the family has a protected characteristic/the family are vindictive.
Your mum needed support in this, which was the school's job, so please try and process the resentment as it is misplaced. She believed you and did what was right by going to the school; the next escalation would have been police, really, but for any number of reasons she might not have wanted to do that (or even realised it could have been appropriate).
MermaidPigeon@reddit
Thank you for taking the time to right this x I in no way resent my mum now, we have a very good relationship :) I should have been more specific and said “at the time”. My mum was only 16 when she had me. At the time I didn’t understand but I do now. As for avoiding talking to the bully’s parents I would suggest taking a relative. If going to a parent’s house is to be considered dangerous we have a serious problem. When it comes to your child’s safety I would argue you should go any way while taking the correct precautions. If talking to parents and school does not work, I honestly don’t understand why someone wouldn’t remove their child from said school. As a child you’re incredibly emotionally vulnerable, any amount of trauma can turn in to a personality disorders or mental illness. This is actually the reason I’m choosing not to have children. Our schools are a mess
Spanner1993@reddit
I thought exclusion wasnt allow these days? Maybe just Scotland. 'Every child has the right to an education' even if theyre a little tuckers who's impacting others
Spanner1993@reddit
Looked it up. I'm talking shite. Carry on...
IcedWarlock@reddit
My son was bullied relentlessly for months, he was tiny u til his growth spurt a few months back, and was often choked by his own clothing leaving marks, 3x he warned his bully he would lose his rag and fight back. Well one day he did, one sharp punch to the other kids face, my son was suspended. The school knew of the bullying. Nothing was done "just boys being boys" we were told.
You best believe my kid had 3 days of suspension with a nice new Xbox game and snacks for standing up for himself. Can't say he didn't warn them.
School weren't impressed I didn't punish him but why should I. My son was year 7 the bully year 10
escapingfromelba@reddit
I suspect there's a lot of double standards at play.
Kids from the problem families or with problems get a kind of free pass or at least a massive high tolerance level from schools whilst those who usually behave really well get a tonne of bricks dropped on them for stepping out of their pattern.
Frankly it should be 'big boys rules'. If you bully someone and get a punch back then that's on you rather than a sham. Schools know the shitheads.
Yomi_Lemon_Dragon@reddit
This, 100%. At my middle school there was even a programme for "troubled" kids where they got rewards for not getting in trouble that week. Rewards ranged from actual cash to day trips to theme parks and the like.
Ok, cool, I manage to go every week without punching a teacher, screaming slurs, and bullying other kids, what do I get? Jack shit? Oh OK thanks. Oh I get all the teachers disappointed in me and shaming me because I'm an A student but I got a C this time? Wow super thanks, so cool.
escapingfromelba@reddit
Still an idea that schools go for.
To be fair they are in a bind as the kids they are trying to reach are from shit parents and/or have something in their head that makes them unable to grasp the importance of taking an interest.
RadaghasztII@reddit
You should've told the school that boys just being boys in response to the suspension. Well played though for the treats 🫡
I-Spot-Dalmatians@reddit
When I have kids I am 100% telling them it is okay to use violence when needed, and I will back them 100% if they get in any trouble for defending themselves.
IcedWarlock@reddit
I would preface this with getting them to warn of the inevitable defensive attack first hand. That way they can't say it came out of the blue and if they can get witnesses to the warning, all the better for your potential future kids.
I-Spot-Dalmatians@reddit
Yeah I’d expect efforts in de escalation first, I’ve had plenty of altercations in my life and the majority of them I’ve managed to resolve without violence. But sometimes a punch to the face is the only answer 🤷♂️
IcedWarlock@reddit
A high five to the face with a chair de-escaltes pretty quick in my experience.
But in all seriousness. Yeah, sometimes it's just takes a good warning for them to back off.
It's a sad affair that there has to be a whole thread about de-escalating violence between god damn kids tho.
Current_Fly9337@reddit
My son had a similar thing around the same age. An autistic kid in his class targeted him for years. I told him repeatedly to walk away, he couldn’t help it blah blah. It got to a point where it was clear this kid was targeting mine. I told him to kick him between the legs the next time he was kicked, this was a common occurrence.
My son came home with his first ever behaviour slip (which I was supposed to sign and send back), I told him to pop it into the recycling and sent the teacher a strongly worded email about protecting the kids in her class from targeted behaviour, listed 4-5 years of incidents between them where my son walked away and nothing was done. I was so angry.
Wiltix@reddit
Yep still the norm, pretend the bullying isn’t happening and only do anything if parents get involved despite the school knowing what’s happened before hand.
It all comes down to the headteacher though, some are better than others.
blueroses8000@reddit
Lol I remember the one tiny thing I said back after months was used against me as equal in the face of 1000000000 severe and relentless unprovoked things that was said and done to me.
WeeklyPermission239@reddit
I'm a teacher and I try my hardest not to let it be like that under my watch.
But yes, sadly, it still prevails.
Icy_Place_5785@reddit
In an international political system of asymmetric warfare, at least the nerdy kids get the opportunity for counter attacks through cyberbullying.
I would have loved to have got the nonce hunters to catfish my bully’s dad or convince his mum that she was in an online relationship with George Clooney.
Spanner1993@reddit
Fuck that. I'd rather have brawler than have my child victimised. My eldest (7) knows right from wrong and knows I will back him up if he feels he needs to defend himself. He's naturally a gentle soul so I know if he's been playing fistycuffs there's a reason for it.
mankytoes@reddit
Honestly this "correct" advise can be pretty annoying too. I got picked on and tried fighting back, but one of the main reasons I got picked on was I was the smallest kid. Especially when you're about 13, some of the boys have gone through puberty and are essentially men, and some are still kids. You fight back and that just gives them more justification to hit back harder.
Spanner1993@reddit
Did telling the teacher help?
mankytoes@reddit
I never did that, but no, I don't think it would have. I did have a situation where I got picked on at primary school and the head teacher stepped in (small school) without me telling her, and that actually did make a big difference. I think little kids can be pretty cowed by an authority figure- not only the position, but she had the charisma that you didn't fuck with her.
Jlaw118@reddit
This is the story of my life as a kid in school.
If I told a teacher somebody was bullying me, it was constantly “you’re just telling tales.” Then I’d hit back and get two days of isolation for it when the bully got nothing.
Radiant_Fondant_4097@reddit
In hindsight from being beaten practically every single day; I would tell my old self to think fuck the rules and consequences, fight back and be out for blood.
There would be no winning though; bullies never roll alone and will back each other up while no one will help you, and you're only as good as your body strength.
The only answer to bullying is to put the bully in a coma, they never stop.
Sweaty_Hampocket@reddit
Thankfully my dad taught me to stop being like that, his ethos was meet a show of force with overwhelming voilence and he was right. Every time he got called into school he would ask what the school did to stop it. He used to ask them what they did to stop it. Then ask them why would he tell me off for sticking up for myself
DescriptionFuture851@reddit
My teacher in year 7 told me that the other teachers allowed me to hit my bully back without consequence.
I still didn't.
MonsieurGump@reddit
I have two children who would absolutely be like you were and I was worried about it for ages. They both play contact sports and do martial arts but they are so sweet and kind that, when it comes down to it, I don’t think they’ll fight.
My worries have been settled by their little brother. He’s only 5 (the others are 7 and 8) and the other week he set about a kid 6 years older than him for pushing his friend down at a party.
No hesitation, no fear. Just not accepting any shit.
MermaidPigeon@reddit
Sorry this happened to you. Such a delicate time in life should be more cared for. Sending your kid to school seems almost like a 50/50 bet. They will do well, make friends, learn something or the opposite. They will get bullied, hate 5 days out of 7, form truma, not learn anything due to the students that disrupt class 24/7 and so on. So pretty much waist 70% of their childhood in a place they hate. Have you also noticed that these children that bully and stop everyone from learning seem to get most of the teachers attention? You do anything even remotely close to what these children do and you get detention. It’s like luck of the draw, if your on the smarter side you will end up in the top set of classes where inside there class rooms, it seems like another school entirely. Children actually learning without constant interruption. End up on the bottom half of the classes, it’s a whole other ball game. You won’t learn a thing and when you fall behind, instead of giving you more learning time or attention, they bumb you down a class where the students are even more disruptive. That’s if the teacher even shows up..if they do, in my case, they would put on the same film we have watched 100 times again and grade other classes work. A lot of people are against telling your child “if someone hits you, hit them back” but these parents are just those who have been victim to this concept. They know doing the “right thing” will get you nowhere. What really gets to me is the parents of today that hear their child say “I’m being bullied” but continue to send their child there knowing this? My situation was like this. I was choked on the way home by a naughty student, told my mum who told the school, nothing was done. Never told anyone what was happening to me again, why would I?
D-1-S-C-0@reddit
I didn't learn this lesson until year 9. After 2+ years of passively being *bullied because I was told to "ignore it", I finally started taking no shit.
What do you know? No more bullying. Now I was a threat, not a victim.
*I did punch a bully once in year 7 but got suspended for it and blamed by my parents, so I reverted to being passive again.
CryptographerMore944@reddit
Yep I had the "don't fight back, tell a teacher" stuff drilled into me throughout primary school by my well meaning mother who abhors violence. The problem is, the teachers often couldn't do anything or in many cases, didn't give a shit. It was only a couple of years into high school that I started pushing back. After that I was left alone.
Consistent-Pirate-23@reddit
Same, one guy picked on me and I snapped and narrowly avoided giving him a black eye. I regret not aiming better
releasethekaren@reddit
Did I miss something lol why were you screaming and crying at age like 14 because your family waved at you. I get you were embarrassed but surely screaming and crying in front of classmates is significantly more embarrassing 💀 and why did seeing another student go to the careers fair make you cry again
TryTrynTryAgain@reddit
I can’t wrap my head around it. I’m surprised this is the only comment about the OP.
OP would have been 15/16. Then breaking down again when they saw other people going to a careers fair a year later, when they were 16/17.
There must be something were missing.
blueroses8000@reddit
Lol I’m imagining an exasperated head of year pulling their hair out.
“Katie..I don’t understand why you’re crying a year later because other people are now going to the careers fair where your mum and nan came and waved at you?!”
peppermint_aero@reddit
I have a feeling there is some kind of family history here that is not being shared
blueroses8000@reddit
Someone below said likely SEN student/school
astro-squidge@reddit
Or maybe OP just being a big baby over nothing.
XihuanNi-6784@reddit
Maybe trauma, too.
peppermint_aero@reddit
I'm not sure we can speculate
blueroses8000@reddit
Well okay, but I replied to your own speculation lol.
Spanner1993@reddit
Autism
Inside_Swimming9552@reddit
I'm guessing some kind of autism undiagnosed.
Autistic people can have mental overload some days and then just get set off by the slightest thing not going their way.
I have a 13 year old with autism. He's generally very mild mannered and calm but in bad days the slightest thing not going the way he wants can set him off into tears.
They didn't want their parents around because I guess they were a bit embarrassed to have their parents around. Teenagers can be like that.
DoctorWhofan789eywim@reddit
At my school if you did that in Year 11 the rest of the students would never let you forget it.
MrSlipsHisFist@reddit
No way they didn't get bullied mercilessly after that
elementarydrw@reddit
At that point, it's an obligation
Loose_Avocado4670@reddit
omg I'm so glad someone also dosent understand what they mean lol.
tinned_peaches@reddit
I think they’re autistic
kingoflames@reddit
This is a very weird story so I've been trying to piece together what OP meant with little luck lol.
After going through their post history they may have been SEN in school. Which would explain the multiple incoherently written posts. They also seem to ask a lot of questions about school even though they claim this was 20 years ago for them. This is kind of common for certain kinds of autistic people - which would further explain the way they reacted and why it wasn't treated as a big deal in their story.
With all that context:
OP was going to a careers fair and their parent was scheduled to go with them - this is common for some SEN kids, their parents will escort them on trips.
OP was unhappy with this and had an outburst, they probably wanted to go on the trip without their parent and would have been escorted by their usual TA/SEN staff.
This member of staff would then have given the parent some careers leaflets etc at a later date (or OP would have been sent home with them)
A year later OP has a similar outburst as they are reminded of the past event. The sixth form staff don't understand so they feel upset.
That's my best guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
bababababoos@reddit
I've read it 3 times and still have absolutely no understanding of what happened.
budgiebirdman@reddit
Me too, I'm guessing that was one of the few times OP was at school.
blueroses8000@reddit
Oh phew I thought it was just me. I have no idea what the story meant.
Goldman250@reddit
Continuing to hang out with the same group of “friends”, even though they bullied me. I look back and don’t understand why I didn’t ditch those dickheads and go hang out with another group, some of whom I was friends with outside of school, one of whom I went on to be best man for at his wedding.
CryptographerMore944@reddit
Bullies are great at gaslighting victims into thinking the bullying is the victim's fault. Even when they aren't outright pretending to be your friend.
When you're young you latch onto any "friends" because you don't know better. Cutting people out of your life, especially if you have to see them on a regular basis isn't easy for adults let alone kids. That fear of being utterly alone is real. Especially if they aren't popular already.
Roselunaryie38@reddit
I feel this 100% in my final months of year 11, I felt like I was completely alone when my other friends weren't around so I hung out w my other friend group and I just took being bullied. I guess I just thought "oh she's just being bitchy, just ignore it" like they taught you to when I really should've told her to shut up.
I really wish I'd actually been taught to take no shit when I was younger, I feel like it would've maybe done me a favour lol.
starsandshards@reddit
This is one of my huge regrets, too. The most formative years of my life for mental health and stability and I hung around people who loved and lived to make my life miserable. Silly billy.
Loose_Avocado4670@reddit
If you read my other comment I explained how bassically the same happened to me.
I think when you have been around people so long, you just assume it's normal when it isn't.
I was in that group from year 9 to the first few months of year 10. I met my now boyfriend in y10 and I hung out with him and his friends from then on when I realised that bullying within a friend group is not normal or okay.
starsandshards@reddit
I was with them from year 7 until we left. One of them I was even friends with in junior school as well. My confidence and self esteem were so shattered I was terrified to separate myself from the group, I really wish I'd done it.
Loose_Avocado4670@reddit
Literally the exact same thing happened to me.
I was part of a group of around 8 girls including me and every single one of them were awful to me and yet I didn't say anything and just stayed with them until I moved on in year 10 when I met my boyfriend and just hung out with him and his mates. I was in this group from year 9-start of year 10.
Truly awful girls. I wish I walked away as soon as I realised these terrible girls were bullying me.
Were you in that group for the whole of secondary? I'm glad I met my boyfriend and left them.
liltrex94@reddit
Smoking and hanging around with the smokers.
Luckily enough i sat next to my best friend from primary school. We are still best friends 18 years later. She is no longer friends with her other friends either. We went out into the big wife world, and are still best friends.
I actually don't regret it. I have some really good friends at 32yo
Zelengro@reddit
Joined a new school. A neighbouring teacher lurches in and starts telling me to ‘intimidate’ her. Like, she was really going for it. She would not buy that I had no idea what she was talking about, and it got kind of personal. It was honestly kind of petty and spiteful, and I was just too meek a kid at the time to clap back. My own teacher sidles up to her finally and whispers something. It turns out, another kid had been being a twat. She’d gone to complain to the teacher next door, but she clearly hadn’t described the culprit sufficiently. Since I was the only new face, she made the leap.
Neighbouring teacher didn’t even come over to show remorse afterwards. Y’know, the basic human decency. In a brand new school I was the New Kid That Got Randomly Roasted for months and it just put a target on my back.
What I regret: not telling her to absolutely fuck all the way off. I mean it’s not like it traumatised me, I remember the aftermath more than the teachers specifically, but I do still think about this now and then if I’m ever wondering if I owe someone an apology
I guess it made me a better person in a roundabout way 😂.
radiantr4y@reddit
I’m 18 now, and honestly the biggest thing I regret is not listening to myself.
After my GCSEs in 2024, where I got straight 9s and one 8, I already knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to go to this sixth form right next to my secondary school with all my mates and study Business, Economics, and Maths because I’ve always wanted to go into Accountancy.
But my family pushed me into going to another sixth form instead, one of those “best in the country” ones, and made me do Biology and Chemistry because they wanted me to become a Dentist. I didn’t really get much of a say, so I just went with it.
It was probably the biggest mistake i’ve made in my 16 Years of living (at the time).
I burned out so badly there. I was stressed all the time, miserable for the whole year, and genuinely hated it. Their whole “top sixth form” reputation is basically because they give barely any support and just kick out anyone who isn’t performing at the top level. I ended up getting Us in my mocks and got kicked out eventually. I honestly was relieved. My family definitely weren’t though 😭
Luckily, I managed to get into the sixth form I wanted in the first place, even if it means resitting Year 12. Looking back, I really wish I stood up for myself more because at the end of the day, I’m the one studying these A-levels and living my life, not them. They wanted Dentistry for me, but it was never what I wanted. I’ve always wanted to do Accountancy instead.
Loose_Avocado4670@reddit
I'm sorry about your parents and the whole situation. I'm the same age as you too. It's sort of nice knowing there's people of simmilar age to me On here :)
radiantr4y@reddit
Thanks, i appreciate it :) It actually wasn’t only just my parents but my whole extended family 🤣, i guess that’s how it is when you’re from a typical British Pakistani family. Good luck with your exams.
FornyHucker22@reddit
we used to see who could pee highest up the wall at the urinals 👀
not sure regret is the right word but it’s what came to mind when I tried to think of something 🫣
paulmclaughlin@reddit
Have you ever, ever felt like this?
jtothemofudging@reddit
You just awoken a core memory
paulmclaughlin@reddit
I wonder how confused the youngsters are
DorisWildthyme@reddit
Have strange things happened?
0800happydude@reddit
Bet the cleaners loved you
Lufc87@reddit
Only regret if you didn't win!
WeeklyPermission239@reddit
I love the absolute range of responses this thread has provoked lol
notspringsomnia@reddit
I regret not standing up to my bullies. I just kind of let them bully me because I was too scared to stand up to them.
MagicalParade@reddit
Only taking an interest in boyfriends. I wish that I had been more bothered about my friends and GCSEs.
BigSkyFace@reddit
I generally wish I'd cared more about doing well towards the end of my time in education and put other distractions aside.
During my GCSEs I regret how much I was hanging out with friends instead of focusing on revision and coursework. I used to do fairly well in school. Not top class material, but probably above average with a few stronger subjects. I'd not had many friends for a lot of my time in school which meant my weekends were fairly reclusive ones spent on forums or playing video games. After finding a group of friends towards the end of time at secondary school, I was always keen to hang out on practically any evening of the week. Even on the run up to my GCSE exams I was still doing this when most others in the group knuckled down.
My dad left school with no qualifications. He never said as such, but I think he cared a lot about me getting a decent education because of how difficult it made his own life. I remember him looking at my GCSE results (a sea of mostly Cs and some Ds) and saying 'I thought you were supposed to be clever?'. It still stings thinking about it now.
If counting 6th form as school (I attended a college so it feels like it's own thing). I regret working so much at the part time job I had at a hotel. I'd often work Friday night, midday to midnight on Saturday, and then come in Sunday morning for the 'breakfast shift' at 7:30am until the early afternoon. I'd manage to do college on Monday despite not getting enough rest, but then oversleep and miss my first lectures on a Tuesday morning. To make matters worse these happened to be my favourite classes and my lecturers weren't super patient about it. My parents weren't well off so they weren't going to stop me, but I'm sure if I'd quit they'd have understood.
My college used to really bang on about us not working too much outside of our education. Supposedly studies had shown it was detrimental to your education to do more than 10 hours (iirc) of extra work a week on top of 6th form. I really wish I'd listened because my A2 results were dreadful. Even for my favourite subject which I had a conditional uni offer to study, I scored a U on my coursework. Thankfully the B I got in the exam spared me some embarrassment and the decent grades I earned the previous year gave me enough to still go to uni. I felt like an imposter for the longest time but I went to have a career in this field, so I'm glad it worked in the end. The road was just much bumpier than it should've been.
rjm101@reddit
Seems a bit random that your mum and nan were at the careers fair did they happen to be in the area?
SunnyShineKitty88@reddit (OP)
I don’t remember, but I did because I wasn’t embarrassed, but because she didn’t let me go out independently by myself like my friends and classmates, and I was in rage over it.
rjm101@reddit
So they walked you there and back?
BrummbarKT@reddit
I had multiple girls ask me out mostly in the earlier years of high school. Including one who I fancied too. But being 13/14, socially challenged and addicted to gaming I never really saw the point or understood how to proceed. I wish I'd get a chance like that now that I've matured but alas.
underthe_raydar@reddit
I was the girl in this scenario! I made it painfully obvious I liked this guy for a long time and strongly hinted at going out or directly ask him but he would shoot me down. We didn't speak for years after school and one day he randomly messaged me to say he actually did like me but was just awkward/didn't know what to do and it was a regret. I think it's more common than we think.
Joshgg13@reddit
What was your response when asked out by a girl you fancied? I struggle to understand how or why you'd do anything but agree to go out with her
OhWhatADaaay@reddit
Being an absolute menace 100% of the time. Wasn't interested in learning anything back then. Left school with nothing, but I've still done alright in life. Guess just work ethics after school has helped me alot in life. Got a welding apprenticeship after school and did all my GCSEs again and have a degree in engineering now so leaving school with nothing isn't the end of the world
Ruu2D2@reddit
Listening to my mother to much
She told me I couldn't do certain subject as I wasn't as clever as my sibling .
BatteryAt14percent@reddit
Same. My mother picked my GCSEs for me and didn't listen to what I wanted to do. What I wanted to do was art, cookery, geography, triple science and Welsh. I was made to do business studies, music, religious studies, drama and German.
underthe_raydar@reddit
My best friend had her GCSEs chosen by her parents and her alevels. I remember telling her at the time she should just choose for herself but she just said she isn't allowed... Madness.
Puzzleheaded-Age7469@reddit
I was 13 returning on a school coach from a form weekend away in the countryside- character building stuff allegedly. Girls at the back of the coach started a game ofTruth/Dare etc. Hot girl in class was dared to come down and ask me for a kiss on the lips. I panicked and accidentally cracked her nose with my front teeth. I always wonder how that might have worked out if I had my wits about me!
ASY_Freddy@reddit
Not understanding when girls were actually interested in you
The-Ginger-Lily@reddit
I'm sorry but what on earth are you talking about? Your story made absolutely no sense...
StGuthlac2025@reddit
Doing as I was told a not to fight back against bullies. It doesn't work. As soon as I did my entire life changed for the better.
LifeNavigator@reddit
Lol I waited until after school when there was no teachers around. Best decision as I didn't get in trouble and they knew I could always fight back if they tried in school.
blueroses8000@reddit
We would get in trouble with the school for anything we did in school uniform.
LifeNavigator@reddit
Only if someone reports it, otherwise how would school know? Most bullies care about their reputation and wouldn't report it as it means everyone would know they received a beating.
Its always worth getting in trouble with school than letting a bully continue.
blueroses8000@reddit
I’m not discussing my opinion on the bully part and I can’t give every possible scenario of how the school would find out. I’m simply saying we would still get in trouble if the school found out about anything we did in school uniform which they quite often did. Most likely because after school means it was often in view of teachers leaving, on the bus which is a huge problem and obviously reported by the driver, or reported by the public etc
UnderHisEye1411@reddit
"You can hit kids if they hit you first" is not good parenting. It teaches kids that violence is an acceptable outcome for conflict between children.
I struggle with this so much because it's against what we were taught in the 80s and 90s when I was growing up, but it is the correct way to bring up your kids. If someone hits you, tell a grown up.
We like to think that it will be like a movie where if the scrawny kid hits the bully back then he doesn't get picked on again, but real life isn't like that. Hitting the bully gives the bully license to hit you again but harder.
St2Crank@reddit
You’re thinking of it in black and white terms. If you can you escalate, but sometimes there’s no opinion and fighting back is the best option. Saying don’t fight back or always fight back is making it a binary decision, which it isn’t. Explaining this to kids is just preparing them for life.
Habren_in_the_river@reddit
I think it depends:
first time and it's violence (as opposed to name calling) you fight back until they stop/you're no longer in danger of being hurt. Then you tell an adult.
if safeguarding fails and the bully is violent repeatedly then you batter them back as much as you can because there is no other option
If it's name calling/cyber bullying then you tell and adult
Spanner1993@reddit
Nobodys saying leather someone cause they called you a name on Facebook fs
Habren_in_the_river@reddit
I know - I was agreeing with you, just with a bit of clarification for the other person
Spanner1993@reddit
I completely disagree. Whenever I've been forced to fight back, theyve never come back for round 2. Ever.
What won't work is when somebody is violence hardened and you hit them witn your purse. Gotta give as good as you get and make sure they remember it.
I know this is a outdated, 'macho' opinion but its formed from personal experience.
UnderHisEye1411@reddit
So you think other children should be taught to compete in The Hunger Games because you did?
I'd love to see what actually happened in your "they picked on me but then I was so tough they didn't do it again" narrative. I have young kids from my experience of watching them all play and clash with each other it's much more likely you were the problem, rather than the victim.
Spanner1993@reddit
No. I was quiet, gentle and just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately for me, in high-school, I was quite often the biggest guy in the room.
You know what that provokes in boys/men? Small man syndrome.
Its common knowledge among men, if you want prove youre hard, pick on the biggest guy in the room. That was me.
But thanks for your assumption of my character, have a good day 👍
Spanner1993@reddit
And youre fuckjng right btw. As soon as mummy and daddy arent looking, it is the fucking hunger games out there. Peace out
UnderHisEye1411@reddit
You were a big kid who hit other children.
ICantBelieveItsNotEC@reddit
Yeah, bullies are like bears: you don't have to be stronger than the bear; you just need to be stronger than the weakest camper. If you hit them back, they'll just move on to whoever they deem to be the next weakest target.
Spanner1993@reddit
Good analogy but 9/10 bullies are absolute shite bags. Like peacocks... making themselves look bigger than they actually are
ICantBelieveItsNotEC@reddit
"If someone hits you, tell a grown-up" is terrible parenting because it teaches kids that an authority figure will always be there to rescue them, absolving them of individual responsibility.
This advice leads to adults who freeze up like a deer in headlights when they encounter a problem where there isn't an authority figure around to solve it for them. In the real world, sometimes the authority figure has a six-hour waiting time. Sometimes the authority figure is corrupt, malicious, or lazy. Etc.
Honestly, though, it isn't that big of a deal, because most kids figure out that authority figures can be corrupt/malicious/lazy the first time they try to tell a grown-up who isn't their parent. The teacher will fob them off or give them the same punishment as their bully, and they'll learn that they should just solve the problem on their own next time.
UnderHisEye1411@reddit
No mate it's never a child's "responsibility" if someone hits them.
Here in 2026 we call that child abuse.
Spanner1993@reddit
Fucking spot on
The day I realised nobody's coming to save was the day I suddenly felt like a real man
WeeklyPermission239@reddit
Yeah, I think there is a happy medium. I am a teacher - the kids who have been taught "hit 'em back" go round starting the fights in the genuine belief they're defending themselves.
I mean, ideally schools and parents would create a culture where bullying doesn't happen/ in the rare instance it does, it gets tackled effectively. But here we are. Kids have to survive somehow.
So I think the play is probably a sort of cool disdain - "wow, you're still acting like that at our big age?" "when bro tries to act the big man 🥀" or best of all, the simple "you good?" Alongside quietly documenting absolutely everything so you can get them caught in 4K. None of these are foolproof, we all know that whatever cool kids do is automatically cool and when targeted kids do the same it's weird and cringe. This is what schools and parents never seem to understand: it's about power.
I'm not saying I should have hit them (never hit anyone so probably not all that good at it 😅). But I should have been a lot less nice.
terryjuicelawson@reddit
Problem is I suppose schools can't really officially allow a violent response as what do kids know about being proportionate. Crybullies would abuse it no end. The unofficial thing needs to be parents to get the lowdown on exactly what the bullying is and give a sanction themselves.
SomeCanDance@reddit
This advice makes the schools life easier, not yours.
WeeklyPermission239@reddit
Damn, we posted basically the same comment. Sorry you went through that too.
gofuhqyosen@reddit
When I was 14 I got jumped at the entrance to my school by 3 former friends who I had a falling out with. I beat the shit out of all 3 of them and got the blame for being the “instigator” since I did all the damage, all they were able to do was pull my hair. Got kicked out of school temporarily for “bullying” and wasn’t allowed to leave staff offices during break and lunch when I went back. I should’ve let them just do what they were gonna do and I wouldn’t have had to take the full blame. They just got to be the victims over something they started and couldn’t finish
AirfixPilot@reddit
I struggled in Higher maths and ultimately didn't take the exam. This was a shock to me as I'd basically sleep walked through Standard Grade and gotten the highest mark available (1 in those days, don't know what it would be now). Something just wasn't clicking with me this time around, I was putting in the effort but just not getting it right.
So, recognising there was an issue, I spoke to my teacher about it. He was something of a maths cultist; you either got it or you didn't and if you didn't he couldn't be arsed with you. Turns out the problem was just that I was lazy and thick, glad I was able to get that cleared up!
Feeling a little bit aggrieved by this, I spoke to my guidance teacher about this conversation and put across that I was feeling a bit hard done by in his assessment of me. Guidance teacher said she'd have a word with maths teacher and see if there was any way we could straighten this out.
The best route to straightening it out seemed to be outright bullying from my maths teacher, to the point I was on the edge of tears in most classes, failed the unit assessments and was told I wouldn't be sitting the exam.
I didn't speak to my guidance teacher about this development as I was now afraid of making things worse, so I spent two thirds of fifth year absolutely miserable and feeling there was no way to make it stop.
So I regret talking to teachers about struggling. If I hadn't I'd have had the same outcome but without the bullying, and that would have made things a bit more tolerable.
A couple of years later I redid Higher maths at my local college and it was a much nicer experience. Turns out I respond better to not being taught by a bullying dickhead.
Loose_Avocado4670@reddit
I honestly believe that some teachers go into the profession simply because they like the power dynamic.
A lot of bullies become teachers unfortunately.
DorisWildthyme@reddit
I'm pretty sure some people become teachers not because of a love of their subject or because they want to help educate young minds, but actually because they're just pricks who get off on bullying kids.
AirfixPilot@reddit
I considered teaching when doing my (definitely not maths) undergrad. The fear of turning out like him contributed to my decision not to go down that route.
TeHNeutral@reddit
I hope you see them now and call them a dickhead
Mobile-Access-9693@reddit
I said some stuff as a kid that I thought was only messing around and having fun. If I had a son and he said the same things I did, I would not be impressed. I still feel bad for some of it
skyfullofstars89@reddit
I curl up with embarrassment at my mouth at school too. I would try to bond, but got it toally wrong. Like repeating silly rumours and gossip,.or just outright rudeness. I was extremely socially awkward and didn't understand what was acceptable.
CryptographerMore944@reddit
I cringe at some of that stupid stuff I said and did. I just remind myself that cringing at that means I've grown as a person.
GeometricPrawn@reddit
I did something utterly reprehensible which caused a trip for the whole class to be cancelled. 🫤
affogatohoe@reddit
What did you do?
GeometricPrawn@reddit
…on the basis that no-one will arrest me 35 years after the event…
As the class sat listening to the afternoon’s end-of-day story on “the carpet” I reached behind myself and found something pleasantly tactile. Had a nice snap to it when I broke it in half. I repeated this over and over with the little objects that were to hand (but which of course I could not see).
Turns out I was snapping in half little tiles of - I forget - perhaps some sort of tile-matching game..? They were a made of thick cardboard. Snap snap snap. I pretty much worked my way through the whole box.
The class was given an ultimatum. Culprit: fess up or we’re not going on that trip to the river which you’ve all spent making little boats for out of empty plastic bottles and lollipop sticks and the like.
I did not confess.
We did not go to the river.
Sorry guys.
Loose_Avocado4670@reddit
Did the teacher have any suspicions as to who did it? I hope nobody got blamed 🤣
Have_Other_Accounts@reddit
I was thinking how stupid that ultimatum from teachers was recently. I remember it happening a bunch of times and for some reason it went through my mind how irrational it was.
The bad kid isn't going to confess because they have the exact same punishment either way, slightly less if they keep quite. Yet everyone else gets punished.
woodyeaye@reddit
The idea I think is normally another kid will know who did it and grass them up.
GeometricPrawn@reddit
Yes. I suppose I should feel sorry for my classmates but in reality I still feel sorry only for myself. 😂
SpaTowner@reddit
Think how much plastic waste you saved from going in the river…
GeometricPrawn@reddit
😃 thank you for the positivity!
AnalCreamCake@reddit
When the villain becomes the hero
UnderHisEye1411@reddit
Everyone remembers the time they were bullied and not the times they did the bullying.
cmrndzpm@reddit
I wasn’t a bully but I was super bitchy and gossipy in a way that makes me want to crawl into a hole when thinking about it now.
skyfullofstars89@reddit
Same here. My mother is very judgemental and voices those thoughts out loud. Even in junior school she would slag off the other parents and teachers to me, and I would repeat it to their children.
Needless to say, neither of us were very popular.
Positive-Mud-11@reddit
Nah i once very publicly outed the girl who lied about everything after baiting her in a little trap, then she was so depressed she started self harming, missed prom and totally changed her entire identity. I do kinda feel bad. But maybe she stopped lying? 🤷🏻♀️
Joshgg13@reddit
What could she possibly have been lying about that you feel this was in any way deserved?
Joshgg13@reddit
So real. I got punched full force in the face by one of the "rougher" kids in my school (who was later expelled for bringing a knife to school) for bullying a mate of his. At the time I thought I was an innocent victim as the bullying wasn't true bullying, just relentless teasing. I now realise it was very obviously bullying and I probably deserved that punch
Arny2103@reddit
I was bullyed in and out of school, physically and verbally, but I definitely remember and regret all the bullying I did to others.
Looking back, I had/have no right to feel victimised when I'd dish it out to people too, some of which were part of my friendship circle (fine line between shoving your mates around and it actually hurting their feelings).
BeeSting113@reddit
Actually, it's the first thing that popped into my head. It was the first year of infant school (the bit before primary school) and a couple of girls were calling a boy (whose full name I still remember) "Fatty fatty fat fat". They invited me to join in. I did, without even thinking about what I was doing. We got in trouble, and I felt awful afterwards when I realised what I'd done, and the memory has stayed with me my whole life.
docju@reddit
I was bullied, but one of the things I did to make myself feel better was to pick on some other kids and perpetuate the cycle. I was no better than them.
Joshgg13@reddit
I was just generally desperate to impress people and became somewhat of an impulsive liar. Making up stories about how cool my life was to make people think I was more interesting than I actually was. Ironically, several people who would probably have liked me for who I am ended up disliking me after catching me in a pathetic lie
jimmybiggles@reddit
i don't understand why you cried in year 11 (age 15-16??) over your mum and nan being at a careers fair?? that makes no sense to me, sorry...
GeneralSEOD@reddit
Muslim boy joined our school, we picked on him despite him wanting to be friendly. Made fun of him cause he couldn't swim.
My entire time at school, I was always the one that was picked on, finally the sights were set on someone else, and I was even allowed to join in.
I'll always regret that, and all I can do is ensure that no matter what I'm an ally of Muslims going forward. They all get some amount of stick. What turned me against that way was the episode of Fairly odd Parents where Timmy wishes everyone was the same so there was no more bullying, and in the end it didn't matter because people just made up other ways to say they were different (Gray blobs not being gray enough)
Arny2103@reddit
Punching someone (justified) on the head and fracturing all down the side of my hand. I landed the punch vertically instead of horizontally.
First time for everything.
cherryyyyxx@reddit
Not speaking up when necessary. I went to a girls school and most of the girls there were awful. I didn’t really get bullied but certain girls were jealous and had an awful attitude towards me. Passive aggressive etc. I just stayed quiet.
If present me went through something similar I think I would absolutely bite back.
CaveJohnson82@reddit
I kneed a boy in the nuts once because he was really mean to me.
I don't remember what he said, but I did it hard and he did not deserve that.
Oliviaforever@reddit
Not putting enough effort into my exams amd schoolwork. I couldn't get into my preferred A Levels and I have wasted so much time. Now at 31 I'm back at college earning qualifications to get a somewhat decent job (hopefully!).
Small_Injury_6579@reddit
having a gf😔
AnnMcd41@reddit
A levels , it was 1988 & my year were the first to do the new GCSE’s & I passed all of the exams I did. My family told me I had to get a job to help in the home . It’s been my biggest regret that I didn’t carry on my education.
BocaSeniorsWsM@reddit
I bullied two kids. I was friends with them too for a bit. One of them I ruined a skiing holiday, the other I was basically racist.
On reflection, I have absolutely no idea why I behaved like that for about three years. I was a nice kid beforehand and became a decent young adult and grown man.
Would love to say sorry to their faces some day. I was an absolute prick to two people.
HellPigeon1912@reddit
Studying and working so hard.
I should have spent a lot more time socialising and messing about. Getting good grades never led to any success and now I just regret missing out on my teenage years
Also feel like an idiot looking back how much time I spent on homework. The punishment for not doing it was a 1 hour detention. I would have saved time just skipping the homework and taking the punishment!
ICantBelieveItsNotEC@reddit
Yeah, this is very true, especially at uni. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go on a three-year-long taxpayer-funded bender; it's wild that so many people throw that opportunity away and spend their entire university life locked in their room or in the library instead.
I've been an interviewer for grad roles before, and the people with a spotless academic record but no social skills and weak anecdotes were the ones who came across as the most off-putting.
HotelPuzzleheaded654@reddit
I doubt the ones who treated it as a “three-year-long taxpayer-funded bender” got interviews in the first place.
winebookscats@reddit
You'd be surprised. Amongst my late 80s friend group, we have a number of barristers, financial advisers, a hedge fund manager and a self-made millionaire, plus many other successes (I'm one of the least impressive but am still a higher rate taxpayer and quite comfortable). I'm sure some of my university friends studied at various points, but on the whole we were either trolleyed on free alcohol (2 of us ran the bar in our halls of residence) or mashed up on weed, speed and shrooms. Three years very well spent, scraped our degrees out of the wreckage, then over the course of the next few years gradually became productive members of society 😀
winebookscats@reddit
Correction: it was a three-year -long taxpayer-funded bender (and I very much made the most of that!)
Nowadays it's an extortionate expensive 3 years that you'll be paying for over the next 20-30 years, eating into your salary, affecting the affordability of a mortgage if you're ever in the position to buy, and determining whether you can afford to have kids.
My teens are under no illusions about how hard they need to work at university to make it worthwhile saddling themselves with crippling debt 😔
Spanner1993@reddit
That sucks, I'm sorry. I went the other way, didn't take anything seriously.
I often think I never fulfilled my full potential but equally sometimes I lay awake at night laughing my ass off over all the old memories, people I knew and the things we got upto. It makes it for a lot of the what ifs
blueroses8000@reddit
My friends and I did the ultimate long con. We messed around and had so much fun (but without getting in trouble) at school, but would knuckle down at home when it mattered and everyone was shocked at our grades in the end.
Truth is we were just nerds that knew how to grab the opportunity to have fun and use our time well when it mattered.
I kinda did the same thing at uni, would often miss lectures that were just reading the notes from the projector (a waste of time, no actual teaching going on) and I also really enjoyed fashion and makeup. But all I had to do was read the textbook from back to front and would get a 1st in my coursework. One girl who prided herself on not caring about looks was literally so mad at me she loudly expressed it in front of everyone in exasperation. It’s almost as if uni was about self learning and being into girly stuff doesn’t make you less smart.
HellPigeon1912@reddit
I have great academic grades, and in my mid 30s not a single happy period in my life to look back on
ClockAccomplished381@reddit
Yeah I suffered a bit in my mid-teens from not adapting, I was basically treating school the same at 15-16 as I was at 11-12 whereas my peers were maturing. Most of my closer friends drifted away since their interests had evolved. I then missed out socially during sixth form as I was no longer close friends with the 'cool kids'.
Interesting attitude around homework. In theory by year 9 we had 1.5-2hrs per night (3 subjects of 30-40mins each) but the reality was you'd often have some annoying subject where it took a couple of hours just for that one. In hindsight I probably should've spent less time doing the subjects I disliked and had no intention of studying at GCSE.
blueroses8000@reddit
I regret not doing more extra curricular stuff and making connections with other people outside of my circle by getting involved in things.
To be fair I did do some things and it was more than many others, but I distinctly remember towards the end of 6th form feeling like I was here for 7 years, in an amazing school with so many resources and opportunities and interesting people around me, I could’ve done so much more.
I was just very shy and unsure of myself and school life and to be fair social opportunities weren’t easy for an Asian girl back then, there was so much latent racism and “Stay in your lane” expectation and manipulation to keep us out of things. I started feeling more confident just as we were about to leave lol.
DescriptionFuture851@reddit
Me and my mates went to the local takeaway at dinner.
I bought a kabab wrap and said I didn't want garlic. Long story short, I threw the kebab wrap in the lads face because it had garlic on it.
It was a black man and he chased me out the shop and was about to hit me, but stopped himself as money was obviously more important than kicking the shit out of a 13 year old.
15 years later, and it's still by far the worst thing I've ever done by a country mile. I deeply regret it.
darcsend_eu@reddit
I made home made stink bombs by soft boiling eggs, wrapping them in tinfoil and poking holes in them with cocktail sticks. Left them outside for a month in the garden. The smell produced inside was lethal.
Took them to school last day before summer hols and ran out of things to do with them. I mushed them up in Samantha's bag in science and I thought the face she threw at me instantly was lethal.
Well...the first day back I was met with a disgustingly intense stare. I got off with it but I was very mean to her a lot. I thought she was actually quite attractive as well.
louilou96@reddit
I regret not relaxing more about things, I took school very seriously. Also because of that I listened to my idiot friends who dissuaded me from doing drama and music, I really really regret not doing that cause now I don't have the time or money to do them as hobbies
Lufc87@reddit
Not noticing the frankly blatant advances of a couple of girls. Christ I was naive.
swoooooooooosh@reddit
Not standing up to the kid that was bullied. I never bullied someone but also never stood up for the victims, wich doesn’t really make me a better person then the bullies
Positive-Mud-11@reddit
I was the edgy kid who smoked weed and sold cigarettes at school. What an idiot. I wish i could go back and make different friends and do better with my grades.
JudgeStandard9903@reddit
Spent too much time on screens and not studying. My vices were tv and sims specifically. I got good grades but from studying more diligently later in life I know now that it impacted my exam results and I could've obtain very good grades and not just good ones
Went through a weird identity crisis with my hair. I'm mixed and went to a very white school in an affluent area and GHD very straight Rachael Green hair was in fashion which is basically is the polar opposite of my afro textured hair. I did all the straightening and relaxing of my hair under the sun. I got so much breakage and so many comments that my hair would look great if I tried straightening it (like this is as straight as it will go 😭)
louwyatt@reddit
I regret attending school. I had a very traumatic childhood that meant I didn't mature, emotional, and co dependant on people. Whenever something very stressful happened I'd get angry, then very sad. It was a continous loop all the way until I left high school.
It was only when I decided to take a few months completely by myself that I realised I could break this loop. If I don't get emotional for a couple days, I ain't as overly emotional.
If I had just been taken out of school for a year I would have discovered this way earlier.
IhaveaDoberman@reddit
Not really bothering revising properly cause I could get A's and B's in pretty much everything anyway.
I could not continue that trend into A-level. And spent far too long struggling to learn how I best revise and still didn't really have it figured out by the end of uni.
ydktbh@reddit
Choosing whatever subjects my friends were in rather than what I wanted to do
Mikey463@reddit
I was never rude or disrespectful to teachers but I was very lazy with work. Didn’t do homework. And this shows in my results. Now 37 and in my adult years I’ve found a love for learning, I am into my history and languages. When I think back at secondary school I can remember how good my history teacher was and I’m annoyed I didn’t focus back then.
HauntingTheVoid@reddit
Not going. In year 9 I walked in and was suddenly in a different class for all my lessons, not a mixed class i still had class a as my home class but was put with class b for lessons. I now suspect it was an admin error but at the time I thought it was a punishment. Class b kids didn't like me, I was weird and they were tribal as kids are so I stopped going to school. It probably could have been solved with a conversation but my parents were useless and when I thought about telling them I pictured my mother looking away from the TV for a second and saying "oh", conversation over so I didn't bother
ZeroFrogsHere@reddit
I never tried.
I thought being funny was more important than getting good grades. I was capable but I didn't study, I always acted like I didn't care, even when I got bad results in my GCSEs and A levels I just laughed it off because I never wanted to grow up and get a boring job anyway, I just thought life would end up fine in the end.
Now I'm 30 and stuck in a dead end job I hate making no money, I wish I could do it all again.
unbelievablydull82@reddit
Not bothering with my education, not making sure the bullies didn't bother me again. I frustrated teachers by not going to school, and then not putting any effort in, which was down to my undiagnosed ASD and ADHD, I left school with no GCSEs at all, despite comfortably being capable of high grades in most subjects. I didn't like fuss, so let the pupils bully me, as the only time I got into a serious fight outside of school I broke someone's nose and hospitalised them. The drama over that put me off fighting back, which I regret, as I could have looked after myself fine.
CongealedBeanKingdom@reddit
I'm sorry, I don't really understand your post. Probably me being dense though.
To answer: when I was school age? Lots and lots and lots of shit.
When I was at school: not a lot. I knew I needed a decent education to get out of the area/situations I was finding myself in - see first part of the post.
releasethekaren@reddit
Honestly I wish I acted out more. I was a quiet kid with a pretty bad home life which resulted in me being decently well behaved (not rowdy), but always forgetting my books and homework and doing badly in tests. I think some teachers definitely caught on but others went out of their way to be cruel. I wish I actually stood up at one point and told them to go fuck themselves because honestly at age 14 I had bigger things to worry about than getting a C in chemistry (not even a fail lol)
Quirky-Trash6283@reddit
Being two faced. I had 0 social skills and was too scared of being direct or drawing boundaries with people, so I'd be nice to everyone even if I loathed them. Then because I was naive, I trusted the truth with the wrong people who would tell the other person exactly what I said about them/how I felt.
All in all I was a too trusting idiot who needed to shut her mouth
stevie842@reddit
My brother got expelled from secondary school in the early 90’s for punching one of his teachers which he claims to this day was in self defence . 6 years later I ended up at the same secondary school which was fine for the first year until the teachers found out who my brother was then all hell broke loose . I was bullied by every teacher , head of year and form tutor I had over the span of 3 years which understandably made me a bit feral and play up as it didn’t matter what I done I’d get a punishment anyway . I stayed quiet about it all as to not be a grass and it was an adults word against mine so I didn’t see any point . I left school at 15 to work cash in hand labouring for a group of plasterers until I was old enough to work legally and get my national insurance card . I wish I’d have just opened up and told someone then I’d have GCSE’s and maybe had gone into further education … I do have a quite decent paying job now but really wished my education was a lot more advanced as now I’d have to pay to get it up to scratch
-info-sec-@reddit
More like... What I did and don't regret.
My french teacher always wore low cut tops and was stacked. One day, she leaned over my desk and we could see everything she had to offer (minus nipples obviously). As a 13-14 year old male, I don't regret having a good luck.
The girl sat next to me thought otherwise... 🤜🤛🤣
Forsaken1741@reddit
Not caring. I went to a great school but I was just lazy. I never studied, never tried, skipped classes. I spent all my time in school just goofing around and outside of school playing video games. I ended up leaving school with not even getting higher than a D in my GCSES.
I know it's not the end of the world and I've since been to college to make up for it but I feel so behind in life. I do regret it and wonder where I would be if I actually gave a shit and tried to do well in school and went the normal route. Gone to sixth form, uni, etc.
WalkingMaggotFood@reddit
I think this is largely a failure of the education system. I did the same, but I realise I had no one around me telling me why education was important.
Consistent-Pirate-23@reddit
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Any_Crazy_500@reddit
Not sticking in at my studies, not planning my options better for my GCSE’s, not planning my career better instead of blindly going for the first option for those that didn’t stick in.
fergie_89@reddit
Not punching a kid on school grounds. I did punch him outside of the school yard though. I was a "good kid" never had detention etc but this guy was a huge A hole. If I had punched him on school grounds it would have had a record.
No-Television-9862@reddit
Not be nicer to the not so popular girls who turned out to be much better than the popular girls
Loose_Avocado4670@reddit
I wish I'd stuck up for myself more when I was being picked on.
I was just seen as an easy target.
ItsDominare@reddit
I started several fistfights with other kids for no other reason than I was in a stroppy mood that day. I usually apologised the next day but I still feel bad about them.
MrMotorcycle94@reddit
Someone a year below me had a child at 14 or 15 and posted how they're proud of their greatest accomplishment and I commented something ti the effect of having a child as a teenager is nothing to be proud of. I should have just kept quiet.
ClockAccomplished381@reddit
Academic: I regret doing GCSE maths a year early and then not retaking it. In year 11, we still had to take maths lessons but it was sort of doing prep work for A-level. Kind of a waste of time, in hindsight I should've demanded to retake GCSE (I got an A but wanted A*).
Social: I regret not doing more to maintain friendships or stepping outside my comfort zone a bit. There were situations like close friends starting to hang out with people I didn't like much, instead of adapting and trying to stay in the loop I went into my shell and resented my friends being 'stolen'.
Due-Tough2038@reddit
everything i did in school
LadyInAllPower@reddit
There were a couple of nice but shy lads I always used to chase after, just because I enjoyed getting them flustered. Felt like fun at the time but was rather mean looking back.
bambonie11@reddit
Back in the late 80s when we were about 10, an Indian friend took some racial abuse and I didn't punch the twat in the nose - just told him to eff off.
ross-dirext-words137@reddit
It's important to process these things properly. Allot of therapist talk about core beliefs. These form when you are young and can be ingrained in you for the rest of your life.
MissionFig5582@reddit
A classic of the genre - being lazy and not applying myself.
I ended up doing fine, but I could have done a hell of a lot better.
Chilled-Fridge@reddit
Looking back, I didn't exactly make things easy for myself
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