How is anyone affording kids?
Posted by Ok-Release1923@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 37 comments
Hey - got married last year, and we would love to have jumped on a 0 deposit mortgage to buy a flat, I London where we both love to be, the monthly mortgage payment is the same as our rent was. From next July, it will be less, because we’re on a fixed interest mortgage. We would love to have kids. But it just seems impossible? We have one spare room, so could have one, maybe two children (I grew up sharing a room). But with childcare, the cost of products etc, it seems mad. If you do it, how do you do it? We are on decent salaries but it feels like we are scraping by (joint income of about 70k a year)
exgiexpcv@reddit
It helps that I don't have any, but I try to contribute to the lives of my single-mum neighbours and such.
My life is by no means easy, but I doubt I would even be alive still if so many people hadn't cared enough to help, so I have to keep that ball a-rollin' . . .
HAH-PAH@reddit
£70k between two people is not decent fir London. I’d hesitate to call it decent for one person in London
kyeuriuskitkat@reddit
Firstly, look into 30 hours free childcare for working parents, you and your partner are eligible for it as the limit is each person earning £100k or less. If either of you works from home or works flexibly you can make that work without having to add extra hours, just bring the baby home and put them down for a nap for a couple of hours, then when they wake up you give them a snack to keep them occupied while you finish up work. It’s doable, I have a toddler.
Your spare room is good enough, remember that your current situation, salary, and even accommodation isn’t permanent.. things will change with time.
As for other expenses associated with having a child, a lot of these are discretionary, school is free, nhs is free, if you really are that short of cash you can even get huge bundles of baby clothes from Facebook marketplace for next to nothing, second hand toys from charity shops or marketplace, trips out to the park or free places are just as fun for kids… the costs don’t HAVE to be super high its up to you how you want to make this work, good luck!
VelikimagCro@reddit
Just wanted to say, great post 👍
Ok-Release1923@reddit (OP)
Thank you!! That’s so hopeful!!
Silver_Wind_1@reddit
I can back up what that comment said, there is always loads of good second hand stuff available in good condition (small kids don't have things for long). Don't put kids off too long or it might not happen!
randomguuid@reddit
Not another one of these 'how does anyone afford' posts.
Do you think it could be that people earn more than you, or earn the same, or even less but have more disposable income?
stephhmills@reddit
I mean I earn a lot less and have no disposable income yet have 2 kids. Their question is valid, if you don’t like it you don’t have to comment.
randomguuid@reddit
No disposable income before or after the kids? If before then who's paying for them, the taxpayer no doubt.
stephhmills@reddit
Both. Somewhat the tax payer is, not much I can do. I left my high paying job to work part time to look after the kids then my partner left me. I’m still on maternity leave. Life sucks sometimes. But my point is I’m on a lot less than 70k even with financial help.
randomguuid@reddit
Fair. That sucks, I'm sorry to hear that.
Ok-Release1923@reddit (OP)
My question is definitely valid. I’m not an online person, so I’ll speak to you how I’d speak to anyone. Piss off for making my concerns seem like frivolities. I wanted some input and instead you gave me nonsense. Good luck in life
Ok-Release1923@reddit (OP)
I didn’t mean to offend you at all. I don’t think your reply was very kind or informative. I was asking a genuine question to other people. God forbid someone asks a question on reddit
ActionBirbie@reddit
TBF these questions are turning this sub into a repository for spam now.
It's just the same non-question thinly disguised rants over and over. One of the rules is that things must be "A genuine Question" for a reason.
Master-Trick2850@reddit
this sub is meant for "interesting" discussion but its largely rants, bragging, Indians looking to sell stuff or find a white girlfriend, people refusing to use google and getting offended when told to use google, people asking for interview answers, how to use the post office, "is this illegal" on mundane things, people asking if they should pay or go through insurance on crashes, "does anyone else think" posts, "whats the deal with" rants, market research posts, etc
randomguuid@reddit
It's a bone idle question that you needn't ask, what possible other explanation could there be?
Lottery winner? Bumper inheritance?
Some people simply have more disposable income than you, likely because they earn more. It's not rocket science.
HappySmileMillion@reddit
Chill out mate
epicpownage1234@reddit
"In London, where we both love to be" - There's your answer. Live beneath your means. Nothing is stopping you from living somewhere cheaper, commuting to work and then going back to where you want to be when you've got some financial stability. London is not just one of the most desirable places in the country, it's one of the most desirable places in the world. Your joint income is less than the average wage between you both, obviously it's going to be feasible to raise a family in one of the most desirable cities in the world.
I'm from just north of London, I moved to the north east where flats sell as cheap as 50k. I was mortgage free by 25. I haven't paid rent or a mortgage for years and could now afford to live wherever I please. I've stayed this long because the place and people happened to grow on me, but the initial decision is something anyone has free will to do. If living in London is more important than starting a family and returning to London in the future, then you've got your answer. London is more important than having kids.
Ok-Release1923@reddit (OP)
We live in zone 6. Seriously. i love London, it’s not like I live in SoHo
epicpownage1234@reddit
Average house price for zone 6 is apparently 450-550k. Average house price where I live is apparently 203-217k. Is it seriously out of the question to move out of London just to initially start your family life. It's not like you can never return. It's not like you'd have to pay off an entire mortgage in a location like mine, you could just pay off equity for 8-10 years and use that as a deposit to return to London with lower monthly payments relative to what you'd expect is also an increased wage. These are concessions basically everyone has to make unless they have a top 5% job or know they can rely on trust funds and inheritance.
ComfortableTackle479@reddit
that’s leap of faith situation, and you’re rationalising when talking about affordability
it will change your life forever on so many levels and money won’t be the largest issue, believe me
the trick is, you can’t undo it
just give them birth and survive together or don‘t do it and get over it (if you can)
Pure-Dead-Brilliant@reddit
A household income of £70k isn’t a lot to live on in one of the world’s most expensive cities especially once you factor in children. I don’t know what your earning potential is like but unless you can earn significantly more or have family help it’s going to be challenging for you to raise a family in London.
Children don’t need most of the crap social media and the advertisers tell you. Child care is expensive and you may find it more economical for one or both of you to work fewer hours rather than paying for full time childcare.
Ok-Release1923@reddit (OP)
Thank you, that’s really helpful advice and we will definitely look at it
Pure-Dead-Brilliant@reddit
If you play around with a benefits calculator such as Turn2Us you could find that you’d be entitled to Universal Credit (the bit that replaced Child Tax Credits) based on your income or working reduced hours. I have friends (outside of London) where both working parents dropped to 4 days a week meaning only 3 days of childcare were required and with Child Tax Credits the household income didn’t take much of a hit. There was also the bonus of each of them getting to spend more one on one time with their children.
Ok-Release1923@reddit (OP)
Omg this is such useful advice, thank you!!
Pure-Dead-Brilliant@reddit
Essentially if you want children you somehow make it work. 🙂
HappySmileMillion@reddit
I am a born Londoner and resorted to moving away to be able to afford kids. I think the depressing truth is people just aren’t having kids because we are so squeezed nowadays. Having said that, when you have kids you just manage to make it work somehow (by moving cities for example, but I’ll find your own way).
Nursery years are expensive (working parents get 30 hours a week free childcare from the government) or career stunting for one parent, but they are short years and kids are in school at 4. I’ll be downvoted for saying this (because Reddit) but don’t let rationalising get in the way of your parenting dream - you’ll figure it out somehow. Good luck to you, I hope you have kids if you want them because it’s wonderful
Ok-Release1923@reddit (OP)
Thank you so much. This is useful information
kyeuriuskitkat@reddit
I am also a Londoner, living in a 2 bedroom flat, with a toddler and another one on the way! It’s a squeeze at times but we have plenty of fun, and we spend a lot of our leisure time outdoors.. swimming is another cheap and fun activity we do :) there is hope!
mx_sidequest0@reddit
I think a lot of couples who want kids now are delaying it longer than previous generations because the financial pressure feels genuinely overwhelming compared to before
qash001@reddit
Budget and cut back on non essentials and see where you're at. You can get child tax credits and child benefit for a start, depending on your circumstances and income.
If you do budget and realise you can't sacrifice what you want to do or have, then a child is not for you. Having children takes making a lot of sacrifices and thoughtful parenting. Many people prefer to live a life beyond their means instead of investing in future generations, others prioritise having kids.
If you can't afford to do the things you want in London, moving is also an option.
Ok-Release1923@reddit (OP)
See, I find this very hard to cope with. I am Londoner, my whole family is in London, I’d like to have my kids close to my family
Estebesol@reddit
We don't live in London.
Fit_Resolution8394@reddit
People afford kids the same way they afford anything expensive..by lowering expenses elsewhere so they are living below or at their means..
Some are able to do this easier than others due to earning more.
Some are able to do this by spending less.
It's not complicated, but it's not easy to do either.
Ok-Release1923@reddit (OP)
Thank you
KitFan2020@reddit
Good question!
Depends entirely on outgoings v income. How much is your mortgage for example?
70K income - £4200ish a month after tax?
Childcare for 1 can be up to 1k a month on average.
With a low mortgage, perfectly affordable. With a high mortgage 2.5-3k… completely unaffordable.
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