Most of them. My parents both are “off” and didn’t make a lot of sense when I was a kid. They were also young parents, so they were idiots, although things didn’t improve as they aged. Actually it was mostly my dad making the rules, my mom just unquestioningly enforced them while he got high in his own room and let her deal with the blowback.

One that still makes me laugh was we were weren’t allowed to drink liquids with our meals.

We were never taken to a doctor or dentist and were not allowed in hospitals. No vaccines, no cold remedies, no aspirin, no cough medicine, nothing. I would get frequent severe ear infections when I was very small that hurt like absolute hell, probably because my dad was a chain smoker, and they’d just let me cry it out.

I wasn’t allowed to use many hair styling products and my dad banned blow dryers for us all, not even my mom was allowed to use one and she had a ton of hair.

My dad has a lot of issues with food and was always trying to force us on some extreme diet protocol. He used to talk about how humans could get all their nutrition from the sun, but thank goodness he never tried to force that one on us because my mom certainly wouldn’t have stood in the way. But we were mostly forced to be fruitarians, or what would now be known as raw foodies.

Along those lines, we were only allowed to eat the fruits when they were browning, because that was when they were most ripe and nutritious, so I remember being forced to eat a lot of brown mushy bananas. Mind you, we never had enough food in the house and were always hungry, yet they would still make us wait.

We also had to go to sleep to classical music and sleep with our mouths slightly ajar because that meant we were in a meditative state. So my parents would check on each child and tug our chins down while we were falling asleep so we could reach nirvana, but in the process always woke us up.

There were never any normal kid rules, though. Like I had no bedtime and could stay up all night if I wanted. I could watch any movie or TV show, no matter how graphic and regardless of my age. We watched the Exorcist as a family the first time when I was 3.

I could have ice cream or cake for breakfast if there was any in the house. But we rarely had treats, so that didn’t happen often.

There’s plenty more, those are just the ones at the top of my head. Yes, I know my parents are special.